But concerning the pig, that it is accounted a sacred animal among the Cretans, Agathocles the Babylonian, in the first book of his account of Cyzicus, speaks as follows— "They say that Jupiter was born in Crete, on the mountain Dicte; on which mountain a mysterious sacrifice used to take place. For it is said that a sow allowed Jupiter to suck its udder. And that she going about with her constant grunting, made the whining of the infant inaudible to those who were looking for him. On which account all the Cretans think that that animal is to be worshipped; and nothing, it is said, can induce them to eat its flesh. And the Praisians also sacrifice to a sow; and this is a regular sacrifice among that people before marriage. And Neanthes of Cyzicus gives a similar account, in the second book of his treatise on Mysteries. Achæus the Eretrian mentions full-grown sows under the name of πεταλίδες ὕες in Aethon, a satyric drama, where he says—And I have often heard of full-grown sowsUnder this shape and form.But he has given the name of πεταλίδες by a metaphor from heifers. For they are called πέτηλοι, or spreading, from their horns, when they have spreading horns. And Eratosthenes has spoken of pigs in the same way as Achæus has in his Anterinnys, and has called them λαρινοὶ, using this word metaphorically, which properly belongs to fatted oxen which were called so from the verb λαπινεύομαι, which is a word of the same meaning as σιτίζομαι, to be fed up. And Sophron uses the word—βόες δὲ λαρινεύονται·or perhaps it comes from Larina, a small town of Epirus, or from the name of the herdsman, which may have been Larinus.
περὶ δὲ ὑῶν ὅτι ἱερόν ἐστι τὸ ζῷον παρὰ Κρησὶν Ἀγαθοκλῆς ὁ Βαβυλώνιος ἐν πρώτῳ περὶ Κυζίκου φησὶν οὕτως· μυθεύουσιν ἐν Κρήτῃ γενέσθαι τὴν Διὸς τέκνωσιν ἐπὶ τῆς Δίκτης, ἐν ᾗ καὶ ἀπόρρητος γίνεται θυσία, λέγεται γὰρ ὡς ἄρα Διὶ θηλὴν ὑπέσχεν ὗς καὶ τῷ σφετέρῳ γρυσμῷ περιοιχνεῦσα τὸν κνυζηθμὸν τοῦ βρέφεος ἀνεπάιστον τοῖς παριοῦσιν ἐτίθει. διὸ πάντες τὸ ζῷον τοῦτο περίσεπτον ἡγοῦνται καὶ οὐκ ἄν, φησί, τῶν κρεῶν δαίσαιντο. Πραίσιοι δὲ καὶ ἱερὰ ῥέζουσιν ὑί, καὶ αὕτη προτελὴς αὐτοῖς ἡ θυσία νενόμισται. τὰ παραπλήσια ἱστορεῖ καὶ Νεάνθης ὁ Κυζικηνὸς ἐν δευτέρῳ περὶ τελετῆς, πεταλίδων συῶν μνημονεύει Ἀχαιὸς ὁ Ἐρετριεὺς ἐν Αἴθωνι σατυρικῷ λέγων οὕτως, ᾽ πεταλίδων δέ τοι συῶν … μορφαῖς ταῖσδε πόλλ’ ἐπάιον. πεταλίδας δ’ αὐτὰς εἴρηκε μεταφέρων ἀπὸ τῶν μόσχων οὗτοι γὰρ πέτηλοι λέγονται ἀπὸ τῶν κεράτων ὅταν αὐτὰ ἐκπέταλα ἔχωσι. παραπλησίως δὲ τῷ Ἀχαιῷ καὶ Ἐρατοσθένης ἐν Ἀντερινύι τοὺς σύας λαρινοὺς προσηγόρευσε μεταγαγὼν καὶ αὐτὸς ἀπὸ τῶν λαρινῶν βοῶν οἳ οὕτως ἐκλήθησαν ἤτοι ἀπὸ τοῦ λαρινεύεσθαι ʽὅπερ ἐστὶ σιτίζεσθαι. σώφρων βόες δὲ λαρινεύονται ʼ ἢ ἀπό τινος κώμης Ἠπειρωτικῆς Λαρίνης ἢ ἀπὸ τοῦ βουκολοῦντος αὐτάς Λαρῖνος δ’ οὗτος ἐκαλεῖτο.
And once when a pig was served up before us, the half of which was being carefully roasted, and the other half boiled gently, as if it had been steamed, and when all marvelled at the cleverness of the cook, he being very proud of his skill, said—And, indeed, there is not one of you who can point out the place where he received the death wound; or where his belly was cut so as to be stuffed with all sorts of dainties. For it has thrushes in it, and other birds; and it has also in it parts of the abdomens of pigs, and slices of a sow's womb, and the yolks of eggs, and moreover the entrails of birds, with their ovaries, those also being full of delicate seasoning, and also pieces of meat shred into thin shavings and seasoned with pepper. For I am afraid to use the word ἰσίκια before Ulpian, although I know that he himself is very fond of the thing. And, indeed, my favourite author Paxamus speaks of it by this name, and I myself do not care much about using no words but such as are strictly Attic. Do you, therefore, show me now how this pig was killed, and how I contrived to roast half of him and to boil the other side. And as we kept on examining him, the cook said,—But do you think that I know less about my business than the ancient cooks, of whom the comic poets speak? for Posidipus, in his Dancing Women, speaks as follows-and it is a cook who is represented as making the following speech to his pupils— My pupil Leucon, and the rest of you,You fellow servants—for there is no placeUnfit to lecture upon science in;Know that in the cookery no seasoningIs equal to the sauce of impudence.And, if I must confess the whole o' the truth,You'll find this quality of great use everywhere.See now, this tribune, who displays a breast-plateAll over scales, or dragon wrought in steel,Appears some Briareus; but when th' occasionCalls for his might, he proves a very hare.So when a cook with helpers and attendantsComes to some stranger, and his pupils brings,Calling the servants of the house mere humbugs,Mere cummin splitters, famine personified;They all crouch down before him: but if you bearYourself with honesty and spirit towards him,He'll fly half flay'd with fear. Do you remember,And, as I bade you, give fair room for boasting,And take you care to know the taste of the guests;For as in any other market, soThis is the goal which all your art should seek,,To run straight into all the feasters' mouthsAs into harbour. At the present momentWe're busied about a marriage feast—An ox is offer'd as the choicest victim;The father-in-law is an illustrious man,The son-in-law a person of like honour;Their wives are priestesses to the good goddess.Corybantes, flutes, a crowd of revellersAre all assisting at the festival.Here's an arena for our noble art.Always remember this.And concerning another cook (whose name is Seuthes) the same poet speaks in the following manner—Seuthes, in the opinion of those men,Is a great bungler. But I'd have you know,My excellent friend, the case of a good cookIs not unlike that of a general.The enemy are present,—the commander,A chief of lofty genius, stands against them,And fears not to support the weight of war:—Here the whole band of revellers is the enemy,It marches on in close array, it comesKeen with a fortnight's calculationOf all the feast: excitement fires their breasts,They're ready for the fray, and watch with zealTo see what will be served up now before them.Think now, that such a crowd collected sitsTo judge of your performance. Then you know there is a cook in the Synephebi of Euphron; just hear what a lecture he gives—When, Carion, you a supper do prepare,For those who their own contributions bring,You have no time to play, nor how to practiseFor the first time the lessons you've received.And you were yesterday in danger too;For not one single one of all your tenchesHad any liver, but they all were empty.The brain was decomposed too.—But you must,O Carion, when at any future timeYou chance a band like this to thus encounter,As Dromon, Cerdon, and Soterides,Giving you all the wages that you ask'd,Deal with them fairly. Where we now are goingTo a marriage feast, there try experiments.And if you well remember all my rules,You are my real pupil; and a cookBy no means common: 'tis an opportunityA man should pray for. Make the best of it,The old man is a miser, and his payIs little. If I do not find you eating upThe very coals, you're done for. Now go in;For here the old man comes himself, beholdHow like a skin-flint usurer he looks!
εἰσαχθέντος δὲ ἡμῖν ποτε καὶ δέλφακος, οὗ τὸ μὲν ἥμισυ κραμβαλέον ἦν ἐπιμελῶς πεποιημένον, τὸ δὲ ἥμισυ ὡς ἂν ἐξ ὕδατος ἡψημένον τακερῶς, καὶ πάντων θαυμαζόντων τοῦ μαγείρου τὴν σοφίαν, μέγα φρονῶν ἐκεῖνος ἐπὶ τῇ τέχνῃ ἔφη· ἀλλὰ μὴν οὐδὲ τὴν σφαγὴν ἔχει τις ὑμῶν ἐπιδεῖξαι ὅπου ἐγένετο ἢ πῶς αὐτοῦ ἡ γαστήρ πεπλήρωται παντοίων ἀγαθῶν, καὶ γὰρ κίχλας ἐν ἑαυτῷ ἔχει καὶ ἄλλα ὀρνίθια ὑπογαστρίων τε μέρη χοιρείων καὶ μήτρας τόμους καὶ τῶν ᾠῶν τὰ χρυσᾶ, ἔτι δὲ ὀρνίθων ᾽ γαστέρες αὐταῖσι μήτραις καὶ καλῶν ζωμῶν πλέες καὶ τὰ ἐκ τῶν σαρκῶν εἰς λεπτὰ κατακνιζόμενα καὶ μετὰ πεπερίδων συμπλαττόμενα ἰσίκια γὰρ ᾽ ὀνομάζειν αἰδοῦμαι ᾽ τὸν Οὐλπιανόν, καίπερ αὐτὸν εἰδὼς ἡδέως αὐτοῖς χρώμενον. πλὴν ὁ ἐμός γε συγγραφεὺς Πάξαμος τῶν ἰσικίων μέμνηται, καὶ οὔ μοι φροντὶς Ἀττικῶν χρήσεων, ὑμεῖς οὖν ἐπιδείξατε πῶς τε ὁ χοῖρος ἐσφάγη καὶ πῶς ἐξ ἡμισείας μέν ἐστιν ὀπτός, ἑφθὸς δὲ κατὰ θάτερα.ἔτ’ οὖν ἡμῶν ἀναζητούντων ὁ μάγειρος ἔφη· ἀλλ’ ἦ νομίζετέ με ἔλαττον πεπαιδεῦσθαι τῶν ἀρχαίων ἐκείνων μαγείρων περὶ ὧν οἱ κωμῳδιοποιοὶ λέγουσι; Ποσείδιππος μὲν ἐν Χορευούσαις· μάγειρος δ’ ἐστὶν ὁ λέγων πρὸς τοὺς μαθητὰς τάδε· μαθητὰ Λεύκων οἵ τε συνδιάκονοι ὑμεῖς· ἅπας γάρ ἐστιν οἰκεῖος τόπος ὑπὲρ τέχνης λαλεῖν τι· τῶν ἡδυσμάτων πάντων κράτιστόν ἐστιν ἐν μαγειρικῇ ἀλαζονεία· τὸ καθ’ ὅλου δὲ τῶν τεχνῶν ὄψει σχεδόν τι … τοῦθ’ ἡγούμενον. ξεναγὸς οὗτος ὅστις ἂν θώρακ’ ἔχῃ φολιδωτὸν ἢ δράκοντα σεσιδηρωμένον, ἐφάνη Βριάρεως· ἂν τύχῃ δ᾽, ἐστὶν λαγώς. ὁ μάγειρος ἂν μὲν ὑποδιακόνους ἔχων πρὸς τὸν ἰδιώτην καὶ μαθητὰς εἰσίῃ, κυμινοπρίστας πάντας ἢ λιμοὺς καλῶν· ἔπτηξ’ ἕκαστος εὐθύς, ἂν δ’ ἀληθινὸν σαυτὸν παραβάλλῃς, καὶ προσεκδαρεὶς ἄπει. ὅπερ οὖν ὑπεθέμην, τῷ κενῷ χώραν δίδου, καὶ τὰ στόμια γίνωσκε τῶν κεκλημένων, ὥσπερ γὰρ εἰς τἀμπόρια, τῆς τέχνης πέρας τοῦτ’ ἔστιν, ἂν εὖ προσδράμῃς πρὸς τὸ στόμα, διακονοῦμεν νῦν γάμους· τὸ θῦμα βοῦς· ὁ διδοὺς ἐπιφανὴς, ἐπιφανὴς ὁ λαμβάνων τούτων γυναῖκες ἱέρειαι Θεᾷ, Θεῷ, ὁ κορύβαντες, αὐλοί, παννυχίδες, ἀναστροφή· ἱππόδρομος οὗτός ἐστί σοι μαγειρικῆς, μέμνησο καὶ σὺ τοῦτο. καὶ περὶ ἑτέρου δὲ μαγείρου ὄνομα δ’ ἐστὶ Σεύθης ὁ αὐτός φησιν ποιητὴς οὕτως· ἰδιώτης μέγας αὐτοῖς ὁ Σεύθης; οἶσθας, ὦ βέλτισθ᾽, ὅτι ἀγαθοῦ στρατηγοῦ διαφέρειν οὐδὲν δοκεῖ; οἱ πολέμιοι πάρεισιν ὁ βαθὺς τῇ φύσει στρατηγὸς ἔστη καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμ’ ἐδέξατο. πολέμιός ἐστι πᾶς ὁ συμπίνων ὄχλος. κινεῖ γὰρ ἁθρόος οὗτος· εἰσελήλυθεν ἐκ πεντεκαίδεχ’ ἡμερῶν προηλπικὼς τὸ δεῖπνον, ὁρμῆς μεστός, ἐκκεκαυμένος τηρῶν πότ’ ἐπὶ τὰς χεῖρας οἴσει τις. νόει ὄχλου τοιούτου ῥαχίαν ἠθροισμένην. ὁ δ’ ἐν τοῖς Εὔφρονος Συνεφήβοις μάγειρος ἀκούσατε οἷα παραινεῖ· ὅταν ἐρανισταῖς, Καρίων, διακονῇς, οὐκ ἔστι παίζειν οὐδ’ ἃ μεμάθηκας ποιεῖν. ἐχθὲς κεκινδύνευκας· οὐδεὶς εἶχέ σοι κωβιὸς ὅλως γὰρ ἧπαρ, ἀλλ’ ἦσαν κενοί· ἐγκέφαλος· ἠλλοίωτο. δεῖ δέ, Καρίων, ὅταν μὲν ἔλθῃς εἰς τοιοῦτον συρφετόν, Δρόμωνα καὶ Κέρδωνα καὶ Σωτηρίδην, μισθὸν διδόντας ὅσον ἂν αἰτήσῃς, ἁπλῶς εἶναι δίκαιον, οὗ δὲ νῦν βαδίζομεν εἰς τοὺς γάμους, ἀνδροφόνον. ἂν τοῦτ’ αἰσθάνῃ, ἐμὸς εἶ μαθητὴς καὶ μάγειρος οὐ κακός. ὁ καιρὸς εὐκτός ὠφελοῦ. φιλάργυρος ὁ γέρων, ὁ μισθὸς μικρός· εἴ σε λήψομαι νῦν μὴ κατεσθίοντα καὶ τοὺς ἄνθρακας, ἀπόλωλας. εἴσω πάραγε· καὶ γὰρ αὐτὸς οὑτοσὶ προσέρχεθ’ ὁ γέρων, ὡς δὲ καὶ γλίσχρον βλέπει.
But the cook in Sosipater's Liar is a great sophist, and in no respect inferior to the physicians in impudence. And he speaks as follows—A. My art, if you now rightly do consider it,Is not, O Demylus, at all an artTo be consider'd lightly;—but alas,'Tis too much prostituted; and you'll findThat nearly all men fear not to professThat they are cooks, though the first principlesOf the great art are wholly strange to them;And so the whole art is discredited.But when you meet an honest, genuine cook,Who from his childhood long has learnt the art,And knows its great effects, and has its rulesDeep buried in his mind; then, take my word,You'll find the business quite a different thing.There are but three of us now left in Greece;Boidion, and Chariades, and I;The rest are all the vilest of the vile.B. Indeed?A. I mean it. We alone preserveThe school of Sicon: he was the great teacherOf all our art: he was the first who taught usTo scan the stars with judgment: the great Sicon!Then, next to this he made us architects:He open'd too the paths of physical knowledge;And after this he taught us all the rulesOf military science; for all theseWere but preliminaries accessoryTo the preeminent, god-like art of cooking.B. I think you mean to choke me, my good friend.A. Not I; but till the boy comes back from marketI'll stir you up a little with some rulesAbout your art, since we can never haveA more convenient time for talking of it.B. Oh, by Apollo, you're a zealous man.A. Listen, my friend. In the first place, a cookMust the sublimer sciences have learnt:He must know when the stars do set and rise,And why. Moreover, when the sun returns,Causing the long and short days on the earth;And in what figures of the zodiacHe is from time to time. For, men do sayAll fish, and every meat and herb we eat,Have different qualities at different seasonsOf the revolving year; and he who knowsThe principles and reasons of these thingsWill use each meat when it is most in season;And he who knows them not, but acts at random,Is always laugh'd at most deservedly.Perhaps, too, you don't know wherein the scienceOf th' architect can bear on this our art.B. Indeed I wondered what it had to do with it.A. I'll tell you:—rightly to arrange the kitchen,To let in just the light that's requisite,To know the quarter whence the winds blow most,Are all of great importance in this business—For smoke, according to which way it goes,Makes a great difference when you dress a dinner.B. That may be; but what need is there, I pray,For cooks to have the science of generals?A. Order is a prevailing principleIn every art; and most of all in ours:For to serve up and take away each dishIn regular order, and to know the timeWhen quick t' advance them, and when slowly bring,And how each guest may feel towards the supper,And when hot dishes should be set before him,When warm ones, and when regular cold meatShould be served up, depends on various branchesOf strategetic knowledge, like a general's.B. Since then you've shown me what I wish'd to know,May you, departing now, enjoy yourself.
μέγας δὲ ἐστι σοφιστὴς καὶ οὐδὲν ἥττων τῶν ἰατρῶν εἰς ἀλαζονείαν καὶ ὁ παρὰ Σωσιπάτρῳ μάγειρος ἐν Καταψευδομένῳ λέγων ὧδε· οὐ παντελῶς εὐκαταφρόνητος ἡ τέχνη, ἂν κατανοήσῃς, ἐστὶν ἡμῶν, Δημύλε, ἀλλὰ πέπλυται τὸ πρᾶγμα, καὶ πάντες σχεδὸν εἶναι μάγειροί φασιν οὐδὲν εἰδότες· ὑπὸ τῶν τοιούτων ἡ τέχνη λυμαίνεται, ἐπεὶ μάγειρον ἂν λάβῃς ἀληθινόν, ἐκ παιδὸς ὀρθῶς εἰς τὸ πρᾶγμ’ εἰσηγμένον καὶ τὰς δυνάμεις κατέχοντα καὶ τὰ μαθήματα ἅπαντ’ ἐφεξῆς εἰδόθ᾽, ἕτερόν σοι τυχὸν φανήσεται τὸ πρᾶγμα. τρεῖς ἡμεῖς μόνοι· ἐσμὲν ἔτι λοιποί, Βοιδίων καὶ Χαριάδης ἐγώ τε· τοῖς λοιποῖς δὲ προσπέρδου. δή. τί φής; α. ἐγώ; τὸ διδασκαλεῖον ἡμεῖς σῴζομεν τὸ Σίκωνος· οὗτος τῆς τέχνης ἀρχηγὸς ἦν. ἐδίδασκεν ἡμᾶς πρῶτον ἀστρολογεῖν … ἔπειτα μετὰ ταῦτ’ εὐθὺς ἀρχιτεκτονεῖν. περὶ φύσεως κατεῖχε πάντας τοὺς λόγους· ἐπὶ πᾶσι τούτοις ἔλεγε τὰ στρατηγικά, πρὸ τῆς τέχνης ἔσπευδε ταῦθ’ ἡμᾶς μαθεῖν. δή. ἆρα σύ με κόπτειν οἷος εἶ γε, φίλτατε; α. οὔκ, ἀλλ’ ἐν ὅσῳ προσέρχετ’ ἐξ ἀγορᾶς ὁ παῖς μικρὰ διακινήσω σε περὶ τοῦ πράγματος, ἵνα τῷ λαλεῖν λάβωμεν εὔκαιρον χρόνον. δή. Ἄπολλον, ἐργῶδὲς γ᾽. α. ἄκουσον, ὦγαθέ· δεῖ τὸν μάγειρον εἰδέναι πρώτιστα μὲν περὶ τῶν μετεώρων τάς τε τῶν ἄστρων δύσεις καὶ τὰς ἐπιτολὰς καὶ τὸν ἥλιον πότε ἐπὶ τὴν μακράν τε καὶ βραχεῖαν ἡμέραν ἐπάνεισι κἀν ποίοισίν ἐστι ζῳδίοις. τὰ γὰρ ὄψα πάντα καὶ τὰ βρώματα σχεδὸν ἐν τῇ περιφορᾷ τῆς ὅλης συντάξεως ἑτέραν ἐν ἑτέροις λαμβάνει τὴν ἡδονήν. ὁ μὲν οὖν κατέχων τὰ τοιαῦτα τὴν ὥραν ἰδὼν τούτων ἑκάστοις ὡς προσήκει χρήσεται, ὁ δ’ ἀγνοῶν ταῦτ’ εἰκότως τυντλάζεται. πάλιν τὸ περὶ τῆς ἀρχιτεκτονικῆς ἴσως ἐθαύμασας τί τῇ τέχνῃ συμβάλλεται. δὴ, ἐγὼ δ’ ἐθαύμασ᾽; α. ἀλλ’ ὅμως ἐγὼ φράσω τοὐπτάνιον ὀρθῶς καταβαλέσθαι καὶ τὸ φῶς λαβεῖν· ὅσον δεῖ καὶ τὸ πνεῦμ’ ἰδεῖν πόθεν ἐστίν, μεγάλην χρείαν τιν’ εἰς τὸ πρᾶγμ’ ἔχει. ὁ καπνὸς φερόμενος δεῦρο κἀκεῖ διαφορὰν εἴωθε τοῖς ὄψοισιν ἐμποιεῖν τινα, τί οὖν; ἔτι σοι δίειμι τὰ στρατηγικὰ … ἔχω γε τὸν μάγειρον. ἡ τάξις σοφὸν ἁπανταχοῦ μέν ἐστι κἀν πάσῃ τέχνῃ, ἐν τῇ καθ’ ἡμᾶς δ’ ὥσπερ ἡγεῖται σχεδόν. τὸ γὰρ παραθεῖναι κἀφελεῖν τεταγμένως ἕκαστα καὶ τὸν καιρὸν ἐπὶ τούτοις ἰδεῖν, πότε δεῖ πυκνότερον ἐπαγαγεῖν καὶ πότε βάδην, καὶ πῶς ἔχουσι πρὸς τὸ δεῖπνον καὶ πότε εὔκαιρον αὐτοῖς ἐστι τῶν ὄψων τὰ μὲν θερμὰ παραθεῖναι, τὰ δ’ ἐπανέντα, τὰ δὲ μέσως, τὰ δ’ ὅλως ἀποψύξαντα, ταῦτα πάντα δὴ ἐν τοῖς στρατηγικοῖσιν ἐξετάζεται μαθήμασιν. δή. πεισθέντι παραδείξας ἐμοὶ τὰ δέοντ’ ἀπελθὼν αὐτὸς ἡσυχίαν ἄγε.
And the cook in the Milesians of Alexis is not very different from this, for he speaks as follows—A. Do you not know, that in most arts and trades'Tis not th' artificer who alone has pow'rO'er their enjoyment Those who use them tooContribute all their part, if well they use them.B. How so? Let me, O stranger, understand.A. The duty of the cook is but to dressAnd rightly season meat; and nothing more.If, then, the man who is to eat his meat,And judge of it, comes in proper time,He aids the cook in that his business.But if he come too late, so that the jointAlready roasted must be warm'd again,Or if he come too soon, so that the cookIs forced to roast the meat with undue haste,He spoils the pleasure which he might have hadFrom the cook's skill by his unpunctuality.I class a cook among philosophers;You're standing round; my fire is alight;See how the numerous dogs of Vulcan's packLeap to the roof;........... You know what happens next:And so some unforeseen necessityHas brought on us alone this end of life.
καὶ ὁ παρὰ τῷ Ἀλέξιδι δὲ ἐν Μιλησίοις μάγειρος οὐ μακρὰν τούτου ἐστὶ λέγων τοιάδε· οὐκ ἴστε ταῖς πλείσταισι τῶν τεχνῶν ὅτι οὐχ ἁρχιτέκτων· κύριος τῆς ἡδονῆς μόνος καθέστηκ᾽, ἀλλὰ καὶ τῶν χρωμένων συμβάλλεταί τις, ἂν καλῶς χρῶνται, μερίς; β. ποῖόν τι; δεῖ γὰρ κἀμὲ τὸν ξένον μαθεῖν. α. τὸν ὀψοποιὸν σκευάσαι χρηστῶς μόνον δεῖ τοὔψον, ὁ ἄλλο δ’ οὐδέν. ἂν μὲν οὖν τύχῃ ὁ ταῦτα μέλλων ἐσθίειν τε καὶ κρινεῖν εἰς καιρὸν ἐλθών, ὠφέλησε τὴν τέχνην ἂν δ’ ὑστερίζῃ τῆς τεταγμένης ἀκμῆς, ὥστ’ ἢ προοπτήσαντα χλιαίνειν πάλιν, ἢ μὴ προοπτήσαντα συντελεῖν ταχύ, ἀπεστέρησε τῆς τέχνης τὴν ἡδονήν. β. εἰς τοὺς σοφιστὰς τὸν μάγειρον ἐγγράφω. α. ἑστήκαθ’ ὑμεῖς· κάεται δ’ ἐμοὶ τὸ πῦρ· ἤδη πυκνοὶ δ’ ᾄττουσιν Ἡφαίστου κύνες κούφως πρὸς αἴθραν, οἷς τό γίνεσθαί θ’ ἅμα καὶ τὴν τελευτὴν τοῦ βίου συνῆψέ τις μόνοις ἀνάγκης θεσμὸς οὐχ ὁρώμενος.
But Euphron, whom I mentioned a little while ago, O judges, (for I do not hesitate to call you judges, while awaiting the decision of your sense,) in his play called the Brothers, having represented a certain cook as a well-educated man of extensive learning, and enumerating all the artists before his time, and what particular excellence each of them had, and what he surpassed the rest in, still never mentioned anything of such a nature as I have frequently prepared for you. Accordingly, he speaks as follows—I have, ere this, had many pupils, Lycus,Because I've always had both wit and knowledge;But you, the youngest of them all, are nowLeaving my house an all-accomplish'd cookIn less than forty weeks. There was the RhodianAgis, the best of cooks to roast a fish;Nereus, the Chian, could a conger boilFit for the gods: Charides, of Athens,Could season forcemeat of the whitest hue:Black broth was first devised by Lamprias;Sausages rich we owe to Aphthonetus;Euthunus taught us to make lentil soup;Aristion made out whole bills of fareFor those who like a picnic entertainment.So, like those grave philosophers of old,These are our seven wisest of all cooks.But I, for all the other ground I sawHad been pre-occupied by former artists,First found out how to steal, in such a wayThat no one blamed me, but all sought at onceT' engage my aid. And you, perceiving tooThis ground already occupied by me,Invented something new yourself—'tis this:—Five days ago the Tenians, grey old men,After a tedious voyage o'er the sea,Did hold a sacrifice: a small thin kid:Lycus could crib no portion of that meat,Nor could his master. Yon compelled the menTo furnish two more kids. For as they longAnd oft survey'd the liver of the victims,You, letting down one unperceived hand,Were impudent enough to throw the kidneysInto the ditch: you raised a mighty tumult:“The victim has no kidneys,” they exclaim'd,And all look'd downcast at-th', unsual want.They slew another and again I sawYou eat the heart from out this second victim.You surely are a mighty man; you know it-For you alone have found a way to hinderA wolf (λύκον) from opening his mouth in vain.And 1 yesterday you threw some strings of sausages(Which you had sought all day) into the fire,And sang to the dichordon. And I witness'dThat play of yours; but this is merely sport. I wonder if it was any of these second seven wise men who contrived this device about the pig, so as to stuff his inside without cutting his throat, and so as to roast one side of him and boil the other at the same time. And as we now urged and entreated him to explain this clever device to us, he said,—I will not tell you this year, I swear by those who encountered danger at Marathon, and also by those who fought at Salamis. So when he had taken such an oath as that, we all thought we ought not to press the man; but all began to lay hands on the different dishes which were served up before us. And Ulpian said,—I swear by those who encountered danger at Artemisium, no one shall taste of anything before we are told in what ancient author the word παραφέρω is used in the sense of serving up. For as to the word γεύματα, I think I am the only person who knows anything about that. And Magnus said, Aristophanes in his Proagon says—Why did you not desire him to placeThe goblets on the board (παραφέρειν)?And Sophron, in his Female Actresses, uses the word in a more general sense, where he says—O Cocoas, bring (παράφερε) me now a goblet full.And Plato, in his Lacedæmonians, says—Let him bring forward (παραφερέτω).And Alexis, in his Pamphila, says—He laid the table, then he placed on it (παραφέρων)Good things in wagon loads.But concerning the word γεύματα, meaning anything which is tasted, food, the exclusive knowledge about which you have claimed for yourself, it is time for you now to tell us, O Ulpian, what you do know. For as to the verb γεῦσαι, we have that in Eupolis, in his Goats, where he says—Take now of this, and taste (γεῦσαι) it.And Ulpian said, Ephippus in his Peltastes says—There there were stations for the horses and asses,And wine to drink (γεύματα οἴνων).And Antiphanes, in his Twins, says—Now he drinks wine (οἰνογευστεῖ) and walks about in splendour,Wreathed with flowery garlands.
εὔφρων δέ, οὗ καὶ πρὸ βραχέος ἐμνήσθην, ἄνδρες δικασταὶ δικαστὰς γὰρ ὑμᾶς οὐκ ὀκνήσαιμ’ ἂν καλεῖν ἀναμένων τὴν ὑμετέραν τῶν αἰσθητηρίων κρίσιν ἐν τοῖς Ἀδελφοῖς τῷ δράματι ποιήσας τινὰ μάγειρον πολυμαθῆ καὶ εὐπαίδευτον μνημονεύοντά τε τῶν πρὸ αὑτοῦ τεχνιτῶν καὶ τίνα ἕκαστος εἶχεν ἰδίαν ἀρετὴν καὶ ἐν τίνι ἐπλεονέκτει, ὅμως οὐδενὸς ἐμνήσθη τοιούτου ὧν ἐγὼ ὑμῖν πολλάκις τυγχάνω παρασκευάζων. λέγει δ’ οὖν οὕτως·πολλῶν μαθητῶν γενομένων ἐμοί, Λύκε, διὰ τὸ νοεῖν ἀεί τι καὶ ψυχὴν ἔχειν ἄπει γεγονὼς μάγειρος ἐκ τῆς οἰκίας ἐν οὐχ ὅλοις δέκα μησί, πολὺ νεώτατος. Ἆγις Ῥόδιος ὤπτηκεν ἰχθὺν μόνος ἄκρως, Νηρεὺς δ’ ὁ Χῖος γόγγρον ἧψε τοῖς θεοῖς, θρῖον τὸ λευκὸν οὑξ Ἀθηνῶν Χαριάδης, ζωμὸς μέλας ἐγένετο πρώτῳ Λαμπρίᾳ, ἀλλᾶντας Ἀφθόνητος, Εὔθυνος φακῆν, ἀπὸ συμβολῶν συνάγουσιν Ἀριστίων σπάρους. οὗτοι μετ’ ἐκείνους τοὺς σοφιστὰς τοὺς πάλαι γεγόνασιν ἡμῶν ἑπτὰ δεύτεροι σοφοί. ἐγὼ δ’ ὁρῶν τὰ πολλὰ προκατειλημμένα εὗρον τὸ κλέπτειν πρῶτος ὥστε μηδένα μισεῖν με διὰ τοῦτ᾽, ἀλλὰ πάντας λαμβάνειν. ὑπ’ ἐμοῦ δ’ ὁρῶν σὺ τοῦτο προκατειλημμένον ἴδιον ἐφεύρηκάς τι καὶ τοῦτ’ ἐστὶ σόν. πέμπτην ἔθυον ἡμέραν οἱ Τήνιοι πολλοὶ παρόντες, πλοῦν πολὺν πεπλευκότες, λεπτὸν ἔριφον καὶ μικρόν, οὐκ ἦν ἐκφορὰ λύκῳ κρεῶν τότ’ οὐδὲ τῷ διδασκάλῳ. ἑτέρους πορίσασθαι δύ’ ἐρίφους ἠνάγκασας· τὸ γὰρ ἧπαρ αὐτῶν πολλάκις σκοπουμένων· καθεὶς κάτω τὴν χεῖρα τὴν μίαν λαθὼν ἔρριψας εἰς τὸν λάκκον ἰταμῶς τὸν νεφρόν. πολὺν ἐποίησας θόρυβον οὐκ ἔχει νεφρόν ἔλεγον. ἔκυπτον οἱ παρόντες ἀποβολῇ, ἔθυσαν ἕτερον, τοῦ δὲ δευτέρου πάλιν τὴν καρδίαν εἶδόν σε καταπίνοντ’ ἐγώ. πάλαι μέγας εἶ, γίνωσκε· τοῦ γὰρ μὴ χανεῖν λύκον διὰ κενῆς σὺ μόνος εὕρηκας τέχνην, χορδῆς ὀβελίσκους ἠρέμα ζυγουμένους δύ’ ἐχθὲς ὠμοὺς εἰς τὸ πῦρ ἀποσβέσας καὶ πρὸς τὸ δίχορδον ἐτερέτιζες. ᾐσθόμην ἐκεῖνο δρᾶμα, τοῦτο δ’ ἐστὶ παίγνιον. μὴ τις τούτων τῶν δευτέρων ἑπτὰ σοφῶν ὀνομασθέντων τοιοῦτόν τι ἐπενόησε περὶ τοῦ χοίρου, πῶς καὶ τὰ ἐντὸς πεπλήρωται καὶ τὸ μὲν ὀπταλέον ἐστὶν αὐτοῦ, τὸ δὲ ἑφθόν αὐτὸς δ’ ἐστὶν ἄσφακτος;δεομένων οὖν ἡμῶν καὶ λιπαρούντων δεικνύναι τὴν σοφίαν, οὐκ ἐρῶ, φησί, τῆτες, μὰ τοὺς ἐν Μαραθῶνι κινδυνεύσαντας καὶ πρὸς ἔτι τοὺς ἐν Σαλαμῖνι ναυμαχήσαντας.ἔδοξεν οὖν πᾶσι διὰ τὸν τηλικόνδε ὅρκον μὴ βιάζεσθαι τὸν ἄνθρωπον, ἐπ’ ἄλλο δέ τι τῶν παραφερομένων τὰς χεῖρας ἐπιβάλλειν. καὶ ὁ Οὐλπιανὸς ἔφη· μὰ τοὺς ἐν Ἀρτεμισίῳ κινδυνεύσαντας, οὐδείς τινος γεύσεται πρὶν λεχθῆναι ποῦ κεῖται τὸ παραφέρειν. τὰ γὰρ γεύματα ἐγὼ οἶδα μόνος.καὶ ὁ Μάγνος ἔφη· Ἀριστοφάνης ἐν Προάγωνι· τί οὐκ ἐκέλευσας παραφέρειν τὰ ποτήρια; σώφρων δ’ ἐν γυναικείοις κατὰ τὸ κοινότερον κέχρηται λέγων ᾽ παράφερε, Κοικόα, τὸν σκύφον μεστόν καὶ Πλάτων δ’ ἐν Λάκωσιν ἔφη· πάσας παραφερέτω Ἄλεξις Παμφίλῃ· παρέθηκε τὴν τράπεζαν, εἶτα παραφέρων ἀγαθῶν ἁμάξας … περὶ δὲ τῶν γευμάτων ἃ σαυτῷ προὔπιες ὥρα σοι λέγειν, Οὐλπιανέ. τὸ γὰρ γεῦσαι ἔχομεν παρ’ Εὐπόλιδι ἐν Αἰξί· τοῦδε νῦν γεῦσαι λαβών.καὶ ὁ Οὐλπιανὸς ἔφιππος, ἔφη, ἐν Πελταστῇ ᾽ ᾽ἔνθ’ ὄνων ἵππων τε στάσεις καὶ γεύματα οἴνων Ἀντιφάνης δ’ ἐν Διδύμοις· οἰνογευστεῖ, περιπατεῖ ἐν τοῖς στεφάνοις.
On this the cook said—I, then, will relate to you now, not an ancient contrivance, but a device of my own, in order that the flute-player may escape being beaten; (for Eubulus, in his Lacedæmonians or Leda, says—But I have heard of this, I swear by Vesta,That when the cook at home makes any blunder,The flute-player is always beaten for it.And Philyllius, or whoever the poet may have been who wrote the play of The Cities, says—Whatever blunders now the cook may make,The flute-player receives the stripes for them.)And I mean the device about the pig half-roasted, half-boiled, and stuffed, without having had any apparent incision made in him. The fact is, the pig was stuck with a very short wound under his shoulder; (and he showed the wound.) Then when the greater part of the blood had flowed from it, all the entrails, with the intestines, I washed (and the word ἐξαίρεσις, O you revellers who think so much of words, means not only a taking out, but also the entrails themselves) care- fully in wine several times, and hung the pig up by his feet. Then again I washed him in wine; and having boiled up beforehand all the seasonings which I have spoken of with a good deal of pepper, I pushed them in at his mouth, pouring in afterwards a quantity of broth very carefully made. And after this I plastered over one-half of the pig, as you see, with a great quantity of barleymeal, having soaked that in wine and oil. And then I put it in an oven, placing under it a brazen table, and I roasted it at a gentle fire, so as not to burn it, nor, on the other hand, to take it away before it was quite done. And when the skin began to get roasted and brown, I conjectured that the other side was boiled enough. And so then I took off the barleymeal, and brought it up in that condition and set it before you.
ἐπὶ τούτοις ὁ μάγειρος ἔφη· λέξω τοίνυν κἀγὼ οὐκ ἀρχαίαν ἐπίνοιαν, ἀλλ’ εὕρεσιν ἐμὴν ἵνα μὴ ὁ αὐλητὴς πληγὰς λάβῃ· ὁ γὰρ Εὔβουλος ἐν Λάκωσιν ἢ Λήδᾳ ἔφη· ἀλλ’ ἠκούσαμεν καὶ τοῦτο, νὴ τὴν Ἑστίαν, οἴκοι ποθ’ ὡς ὅσ’ ἂν ὁ μάγειρος ἐξαμάρτῃ, τύπτεται, ὥς φασιν, αὑλητὴς παρ’ ὑμῖν. Φιλύλλιὸς τε ἢ ὁ ποιήσας τὰς Πόλεις φησίν ὅ τι ἂν τύχῃ μάγειρος ἀδικήσας, τὸν αὐλητὴν λαβεῖν πληγάς περὶ ἡμιόπτου καὶ ἡμιέφθου καὶ ἀσφάκτου γεμιστοῦ χοίρου. ὁ μὲν χοῖρος ἐσφάγη ὑπὸ τὸν ὦμον σφαγὴν βραχεῖαν,καὶ ἐπέδειξεν. ἔπειτα ἀπορρεύσαντος τοῦ πολλοῦ αἵματος πάντα τὰ ἐντοσθίδια μετὰ τῆς ἐξαιρέσεως εἴρηται γὰρ καὶ ἐξαίρεσις, ὦ στωμυλῆθραι δαιταλεῖς διακλύσας ἐπιμελῶς οἴνῳ πολλάκις ἐκρέμασα ἐκ ποδῶν. εἶτα πάλιν οἴνῳ διέβρεξα καὶ προεψήσας μετὰ πολλοῦ πιπέρεως τὰ προειρημένα χναυμάτια ἔβυσα διὰ τοῦ στόματος, πολλὸν ἐπιχέας ζωμὸν εὖ πάνυ πεποιημένον. καὶ μετὰ ταῦτα περιέπλασα τοῦ χοίρου τὴν ἡμίσειαν, ὡς ὁρᾶτε, ἀλφίτοις πολλοῖς κριθῆς· ἀναδεύσας αὐτὰ οἴνῳ καὶ ἐλαίῳ. ἔπειτ’ ἐνέθηκα κριβάνῳ ὑποθεὶς τράπεζαν χαλκῆν ἐστάθευσά τε τῷ πυρί, ὡς μήτε κατακαῦσαι μήτ’ ὠμὸν ἀφελεῖν. καὶ τῆς φορίνης ἤδη γενομένης κραμβαλέας εἴκασα καὶ τἄλλο μέρος ἡψῆσθαι ἀποβαλών τ’ αὐτοῦ τὰ ἄλφιτα οὕτω φέρων ὑμῖν παρέθηκα.
But as to the word ἐξαίρεσις, my excellent friend Ulpian, Dionysius the comic poet, in his drama called Things having the same Name, speaks thus, representing a cook speaking to his pupils—Come now, O Dromon, if you aught do know,Wise or accomplish'd in your business,Or fit to charm the eyes, reveal it straightTo me your master. For I ask you nowFor a brief exhibition of your skill.I'm leading you into an enemy's country;Come gaily to the charge. They'll weigh the meatAnd count the joints they give you, and they'll watch you:But you, by boiling them to pieces, willNot only make them tender, but confuseThe number of the pieces, so as quiteTo upset all their calculations.They bring you a fine fish;—his trail is yours.And if you filch a slice, that, too, is yours.While we are in the house: when we've got outIt then belongs to me. Th' ἐξαιρέσεις,And all the other parts, which can't be counted,In which you cannot easily be found out,Which may be class'd as parings and as scrapings,Shall make a feast for you and me to-morrow.And let the porter share in all your spoils,That you may pass his gate with his good-will.Why need I say much to a prudent man?You are my pupil, I am your preceptor,Remember this, and come along with me.
τὴν δ’ ἐξαίρεσιν, ὦ καλέ μου Οὐλπιανέ, Διονύσιος ὁ κωμῳδιοποιος ἐν τοῖς Ὁμωνύμοις τῷ δράματι οὕτως εἴρηκε ποιήσας τινὰ μάγειρον πρὸς τοὺς μαθητὰς διαλεγόμενον ἄγε δὴ Δρόμων νῦν, εἴ τι κομψὸν ἢ σοφὸν ἢ γλαφυρὸν οἶσθα τῶν σεαυτοῦ πραγμάτων, φανερὸν ποίησον τοῦτο τῷ διδασκάλῳ. νῦν τὴν ἀπόδειξιν τῆς τέχνης αἰτῶ σ’ ἐγώ. εἰς πολεμίαν ἄγω σε· θαρρῶν κατάτρεχε· ἀριθμῷ διδόασι τὰ κρέα καὶ τηροῦσί σε. τακερὰ ποιήσας ταῦτα καὶ ζέσας σφόδρα τὸν ἀριθμὸν αὐτῶν, ὡς λέγω σοι, σύγχεον. ἰχθὺς ἁδρὸς πάρεστι· τἀντός ἐστι σά. κἂν τέμαχος ἐκκλίνῃς τι, καὶ τοῦτ’ ἐστὶ σὸν ἕως ἂν ἔνδον ὦμεν· ὅταν ἔξω δ᾽, ἐμόν. ἐξαιρέσεις καὶ τἄλλα τἀκόλουθ’ ὅσα οὔτ’ ἀριθμὸν οὔτε ἔλεγχον ἐφ’ ἑαυτῶν ἔχει, περικόμματος δὲ τάξιν ἢ θέσιν φέρει, εἰς αὔριον σὲ κἀμὲ ταῦτ’ εὐφρανάτω λαφυροπώλῃ παντάπασι μεταδίδου, τὴν πάροδον ἵν’ ἔχῃς τῶν θυρῶν εὐνουστέραν τί δεῖ λέγειν με πολλὰ πρὸς συνειδότα; ἐμὸς εἶ μαθητής, σὸς δ’ ἐγὼ διδάσκαλος, μέμνησο τῶνδε καὶ βάδιζε δεῦρ’ ἅμα.
And so when we had all praised the cook for the readiness of his discourse, and for the exceeding perfection of his skill, our excellent entertainer Laurentius said—And how much better it is for cooks to learn such things as these, than as they do with one whom I could mention of our fellow-citizens, who having had his head turned by riches and luxury, compelled his cooks to learn the dialogues of the incomparable Plato, and when they were bringing in dishes to say, “One, two, three, but where is the fourth, O most excellent Timæus, of those who were guests yesterday, but who are hosts to-day?”Then another made answer, “An illness has overtaken him, O Socrates,” —and so they went through the whole dialogue in this manner, so that those who were at the feast were very indignant, arid so that that all-accomplished man was laughed at and insulted every day, and that on this account many most respectable men refused all invitations to his entertainments. But these cooks of ours, who are perhaps just as well instructed in these things as he was, give us no little pleasure. And then the slave who had been praised for his cleverness as a cook, said,—Now what have my predecessors ever devised or told us of a similar kind to this and is not my behaviour moderate enough, since I do not boast myself? And yet Corebus the Elean, who was the first man who ever was crowned as victor in the Olympic games, was a cook; and yet he was not as proud of his skill and of his art as the cook in Straton in the Phœnicides, concerning whom the man who had hired him speaks thus— 'Tis a male sphinx, and not a cook, that ISeem to have introduced into my house.For by the gods I swear there's not one thingOf all he says that I can understand,So full is he of fine new-fangled words.For when he first came in, he, looking big,Ask'd me this question—"How many μέροπες nowHave you invited here to dinner? Tell me."—“How many μέροπες have I ask'd to dinner”—“You're angry.” —"Do you think that I'm a manTo have acquaintance with your μέροπεσ?It is a fine idea, to make a banquetAnd ask a lot of μέροπες to eat it."“Then do you mean there'll be no δαιτύμων (guest)?”“No Dætymon that I know of.” —Then I counted—There'll be Philinus, and Niceratus,And Moschion, and this man too, and that—And so I counted them all name by name;But there was not a Dætymon among them.“No Dætymon will come,” said I. “What! no one?”Replied he in a rage, as though insultedThat not a Dætymon had been invited.“Do you not slay that tearer up of th' earth,”Said he, the broad-brow'd ox? "In truth, not I;I've got no ox to kill, you stupid fellow."Then you will immolate some sheep? "Not I,By Jove; nor ox, nor sheep, but there's a lamb."“What! don't you know, said he, that lambs are sheep?”“Indeed,” said I, "I neither know nor careFor all this nonsense. I'm but country bred;So speak more plainly, if you speak at all."“Why, don't you know that this is Homer's language”My good cook, Homer was a man who hadA right to call things any names he pleased;But what, in Vesta's name, is that to us?"“At least you can't object when I quote him.”“Why, do you mean to kill me with your Homer?”“No, but it is my usual way of talking.”“Then get another way, while here with me.”“Shall I,” says he, "for your four dirty drachmas,Give up my eloquence and usual habits?Well, bring me here the οὐλόχυται." Oh me!What are οὐλόχυται?" Those barley-cakes.“You madman, why such roundabout expressions?”“Is there no sediment of the sea at hand?”"Sediment Speak plain; do tell me what you wantIn words I understand." Old man, says he,"You are most wondrous dull; have you no salt?That's sediment, and that you ought to know;Bring me the basin."—So they brought it. HeThen slew the animals, adding heaps of wordsWhich not a soul of us could understand,μίστυλλα, μοίρας,σίπτυχʼ, ὀβελούςSo that I took Philetas' Lexicon down,To see what each of all these words did mean.And then once more I pray'd of him to change,And speak like other men; by earth I swear,Persuasion's self could not have work'd on him.
πάντων οὖν ἡμῶν ἐπαινεσάντων τὸν μάγειρον ἐπί τε τῷ ἑτοίμῳ τῶν λεγομένων καὶ τῇ τῆς τέχνης περιεργίᾳ ὁ καλὸς ἡμῶν ἑστιάτωρ Λαρήνσιος καὶ πόσῳ κάλλιον, ἔφη, τὰ τοιαῦτα ἐκμανθάνειν τοὺς μαγείρους ἢ ἅπερ παρά τινι τῶν πολιτῶν ἡμῶν, ὃς ὑπὸ πλούτου καὶ τρυφῆς τοὺς τοῦ θαυμασιωτάτου Πλάτωνος διαλόγους ἠνάγκαζεν ἐκμανθάνοντας τοὺς μαγείρους φέροντάς τε τὰς λοπάδας ἅμα λέγειν ᾽ εἷς, δύο, τρεῖς· ὁ δὲ δή τέταρτος ἡμῖν, ὦ φίλε Τίμαιε, ποῦ τῶν χθὲς μὲν δαιτυμόνων, τὰ νῦν δ’ ἑστιατόρων; ᾽ ἔπειτ’ ἄλλος ἀπεκρίνατο ἀσθένειά τις αὐτῷ ξυνέπεσεν, ὦ Σώκρατες.᾽ διεξήρχοντό τε τοῦ διαλόγου τὰ πολλὰ τὸν τρόπον τοῦτον, ὡς ἄχθεσθαι μὲν τοὺς εὐωχουμένους, ὑβρίζεσθαι δὲ τὸν πάνσοφον ἐκεῖνον ἄνθρωπον ὁσημέραι, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο πολλοὺς τῶν καθαρείων ἐξόμνυσθαι τὰς παρ’ ἐκείνῳ ἑστιάσεις, οἱ δὲ ἡμέτεροι οὗτοι ἅμα ἴσως ταῦτ’ ἐκμανθάνοντες οὐκ ὀλίγην ὑμῖν θυμηδίαν παρέχουσιν. καὶ ὁ παῖς ἐπὶ τῇ μαγειρικῇ σοφίᾳ ἐπαινεθεὶς τί τοιοῦτον εὑρήκασιν, ἔφη, ἢ εἰρήκασιν οἱ πρὸ ἐμοῦ; ἢ ἐπὶ μετρίους ἐμαυτὸν ἄγω οὐ μεγαλαυχούμενος ἐπ’ ἐμαυτῷ; καίτοι καὶ ὁ πρῶτος τῶν τὸν Ὀλυμπίασιν ἀγῶνα ἀναδησαμένων Κόροιβος ὁ Ἠλεῖος μάγειρος ἦν καὶ οὐχ οὕτως ὠγκύλλετο ἐπὶ τῇ τέχνῃ ὡς ὁ παρὰ Στράτωνι μάγειρος ἐν τῷ Φοινικίδῃ, περὶ οὗ τοιαῦτα λέγει ὁ μεμισθωμένος· σφίγγ’ ἄρρεν᾽, οὐ μάγειρον, εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν εἴληφ’ ἁπλῶς γὰρ οὐδὲ ἓν μὰ τοὺς θεοὺς ὅσ’ ἂν λέγῃ συνίημι· καινὰ ῥήματα πεπορισμένος πάρεστιν. ὡς εἰσῆλθε γάρ, εὐθὺς μ’ ἐπηρώτησε προσβλέψας μέγα ᾽ πόσους κέκληκας μέροπας ἐπὶ δεῖπνον; λέγε ἐγὼ κέκληκα μέροπας ἐπὶ δεῖπνον; χολᾷς. τοὺς δέ μέροπας τούτους με γινώσκειν δοκεῖς; οὐδεὶς παρέσται. τοῦτο γὰρ νὴ τὸν Δία ἐστὶ κατάλοιπον μέροπας ἐπὶ δεῖπνον καλεῖν. οὐδ’ ἄρα παρέσται δαιτυμὼν οὐδεὶς ὅλως; οὐκ οἴομαί γε Δαιτυμών. ἐλογιζόμην ἥξει Φιλῖνος, Μοσχίων, Νικήρατος, ὁ δεῖν᾽, ὁ δεῖνα· κατ’ ὄνομ’ ἀνελογιζόμην οὐκ ἦν ἐν αὐτοῖς οὐδὲ εἷς μοι Δαιτυμών. οὐδεὶς παρέσται, φημί. ᾽ τί λέγεις; οὐδὲ εἷς;᾽ σφόδρ’ ἠγανάκτησ’ ὥσπερ ἠδικημένος, εἰ μὴ κέκληκα Δαιτυμόνα. καινὸν πάνυ. ᾽ σῦν ἄρα θύεις ἐρυσίχθον᾽; ᾽ οὔκ, ἔφην ἐγώ. ‘βοῦν δ’ εὐρυμέτωπον;’ οὐ θύω βοῦν, ἄθλιε. ‘μῆλα θυσιάζεις ἆρα;’ μὰ Δί᾽ ἐγὼ μὲν οὔ, οὐδέτερον αὐτῶν, προβάτιον δ᾽. ‘οὔκουν, ἔφη, τὰ μῆλα πρόβατα;’ μῆλα πρόβατ᾽; οὐ μανθάνω· οὐκ οἶδα τούτων οὐδὲν οὐδὲ βούλομαι. ἀγροικότερός εἰμ᾽; ὥσθ’ ἁπλῶς μοι διαλέγου. ‘Ὅμηρος, οὐκ οἶσθ᾽, ἔλεγε ταῦτα;’ καὶ μάλα ἐξῆν ὃ βούλοιτ᾽, ὦ μάγειρ᾽, αὐτῷ λέγειν. ἀλλὰ τί πρὸς ἡμᾶς τοῦτο, πρὸς τῆς Ἑστίας; ᾽ κατ’ ἐκεῖνον ἤδη πρόσεχε καὶ τὰ λοιπὰ μοι Ὁμηρικῶς γὰρ διανοεῖ μ’ ἀπολλύναι; ᾽ ᾽οὕτω λαλεῖν εἴωθα.᾽ μὴ τοίνυν λάλει οὕτω παρ’ ἔμοιγ’ ὤν. ἀλλὰ διὰ τὰς τέτταρας δραχμὰς ἀποβάλω φησί, ι τὴν προαίρεσιν; τὰς οὐλοχύτας φέρε δεῦρο.᾽ τοῦτο δ᾽· ἐστὶ τί; κριθαί. τί οὖν, ἀπόπληκτε, περιπλοκὰς λέγεις; ᾽ πηγὸς πάρεστι; πηγός; οὐχὶ λαικάσει, ὁ ἐρεῖς σαφέστερὸν θ’ ὃ βούλει μοι λέγειν;· ἀτάσθαλὸς γ’ εἶ, πρέσβυ, ᾽ φησ’ ʽ ἅλας φέρε τοῦτ’ ἔστι πηγός; ᾽ ἀλλὰ δεῖξον χέρνιβα.᾽ παρῆν. ἔθυεν, ἔλεγεν ἄλλα ῥήματα τοιαῦθ’ ἃ μὰ τὴν Γῆν οὐδὲ εἷς ἤκουσεν ἄν, μίστυλλα, μοίρας, δίπτυχ᾽, ὀβελούς, ὥστε με τῶν τοῦ Φιλίτα λαμβάνοντα βιβλίων σκοπεῖν ἕκαστα τί δύναται τῶν ῥημάτων, πλὴν ἱκέτευον αὐτὸν ἤδη μεταβαλεῖν ἀνθρωπίνως λαλεῖν τε. τὸν δ’ οὐκ ἂν ταχὺ ἔπεισεν ἡ Πειθὼ μὰ τὴν Γῆν οἶδ’ ὅτι.
But the race of cooks are really very curious for the most part about the histories and names of things. Accordingly the most learned of them say, “The knee is nearer than the leg,” —and, “I have travelled over Asia and Europe:” and when they are finding fault with any one they say, “It is impossible to make a Peleus out of an Œneus.” —and I once marvelled at one of the old cooks, after I had enjoyed his skill and the specimens of his art which he had invented. And Alexis, in his Caldron, introduces one speaking in he following manner—A. He boil'd, it seem'd to me, some pork, from offA pig who died by suffocation.B. That's nice.A. And then he scorch'd it at the fire.B. Never mind that; that can be remedied.A. How so?B. Take some cold vinegar, and pour itInto a plate. Dost heed me Then take upThe dish while hot and put it in the vinegar;For while 'tis hot 'twill draw the moisture upThrough its material, which is porous all;And so fermenting, like a pumice-stone,'Twill open all its spongy passages,Through which it will imbibe new moisture thoroughly.And so the meat will cease to seem dried up,But will be moist and succulent again.A. O Phœbus, what a great physician's here!O Glaucias!—I will do all you tell me.B. And serve them, when you do serve them up,(Dost mark me?) cold; for so no smell too strongWill strike the nostrils; but rise high above them.A. It seems to me you're fitter to write booksThan to cook dinners; since you quibble muchIn all your speeches, jesting on your art.
περίεργον δ’ ἐστὶν ὡς ἀληθῶς τὸ πολὺ τῶν μαγείρων γένος περί τε τὰς ἱστορίας καὶ τὰ ὀνόματα, λέγουσι γοῦν αὐτῶν οἱ λογιώτατοι γόνυ κνήμης ἔγγιον καὶ περιῆλθον Ἀσίαν καὶ Εὐρώπην. ἐπιτιμῶντας δὲ τινί φασιν μὴ δεῖν τὸν Οἰνέα Πηλέα ποιεῖν. ἐγὼ δὲ ἕνα τῶν ἀρχαίων μαγείρων τεθαύμακα πείρᾳ τῆς τέχνης ἧς εἰσηγήσατο ἀπολαύσας. παράγει δ’ αὐτὸν Ἄλεξις ἐν Λέβητι λέγοντα τάδε· ἧψε, μοὐδόκει, πνικτόν τι ὄψον δελφάκειον. γλ. ἡδύ γε. α. ἔπειτα προσκέκαυκε. γλ. μηδὲν φροντίσῃς· ἰάσιμον γὰρ τὸ πάθος ἐστί. α. τῷ τρόπῳ; γλ. ὄξος λαβὼν ἢν εἰς λεκάνην τιν’ ἐγχέας ψυχρόν, ξυνιεῖς, εἶτα θερμὴν τὴν χύτραν εἰς τοὔξος ἐνθῇς· διάπυρος γὰρ οὖσ’ ἔτι ἕλξει δι’ αὑτῆς νοτίδα καὶ ζυμουμένη ὥσπερ κίσηρις λήψεται διεξόδους σομφάς, δι’ ὧν τὴν ὑγρασίαν ἐκδέξεται τὰ κρεᾴδι’ ἔσται τ’ οὐκ ἀπεξηραμμένα, ἔγχυλα δ’ ἀτρεμεὶ καὶ δροσώδη τὴν σχέσιν. α. Ἄπολλον, ὡς ἰατρικῶς, ὦ Γλαυκία, ταυτὶ ποιήσω. γλ. καὶ παρατίθει γ’ αὐτά, παῖ, ὅταν παρατιθῇς, μανθάνεις, ἐψυγμένα. ἀτμὶς γὰρ οὕτως οὐχὶ προσπηδήσεται ταῖς ῥισίν, ἀλλ’ ἄνω μάλ’ εἶσι καταφυγών. α. πολλῷ γ’ ἀμείνων, ὡς ἔοικας, ἦσθ’ ἄρα λογογράφος ἢ μάγειρος, ὃ λέγεις οὐ λέγεις· τέχνην δ’ ὀνειδίζεις.
And now we have had enough of cooks, my feasters; lest perhaps some one of them, pluming himself and quoting the Morose Man of Menander, may spout such lines as these—No one who does a cook an injuryEver escapes unpunish'd; for our artIs a divine and noble one.But I say to you, in the words of the tuneful Diphilus—I place before you now a lamb entire,Well skewer'd, and well cook'd and season'd;Some porkers in their skins, and roasted whole;And a fine goose stuff'd full, like Dureus.
καὶ μαγείρων μὲν ἅλις, ἄνδρες δαιταλεῖς, μὴ καὶ τις αὐτῶν τὰ ἐκ Δυσκόλου Μενάνδρου βρενθυόμενος λαρυγγίσῃ τάδε· οὐδὲ εἷς μάγειρον ἀδικήσας ἀθῷος διέφυγεν ἱεροπρεπής πώς ἐστιν ἡμῶν ἡ τέχνη. ἐγὼ δ’ ὑμῖν, κατὰ τὸν ἥδιστον Δίφιλον παρατίθημ’ ὁλοσχερῆ ἄρν’ ἐς μέσον σύμπτυκτον, ὠνθυλευμένον, χοιρίδια περιφόρινα κρομβώσας ὅλα, δούρειον ἐπάγω χῆνα τῷ φυσήματι.
We must now speak of the goose. For as many geese were served up very excellently dressed, some one said, Look at the fat geese (σιτευτοὶ χῆνες). And Ulpian said, Where do you ever find the expression σιτευτὸς χήν? And Plutarch answered him:—Theopompus the Chian, in his History of Greece, and in the thirteenth book of his History of the Affairs and Exploits of Philip, says that the Egyptians sent to Agesilaus the Lacedæmonian, when he arrived in Egypt, some fatted (σιτευτοὺς) calves and geese (χῆνας). And Epigenes the comic poet says in his Bacchanalian Women—But if a person were to take me likeA fatted goose (χῆνα σιτευτόν).And Archestratus, in that celebrated poem of his, says—And at the same time dress the young of oneFat goose (σιτευτοῦ χῆνος), and let him too be roasted thoroughly.But we have a right now, O Ulpian, to expect you to tell us, you who question everybody about everything, where this very costly dish of the livers of geese has been mentioned by any ancient writer. For Cratinus is a witness that they were acquainted with people whose business it was to feed geese, in his Dionysalexander, where he says—Geese-feeders, cow-herds.... And Homer uses the word χὴν in both the masculine and feminine gender; for he says—αἰετὸς ἀργὴν χῆνα φέρων–An eagle carrying off a lazy goose.And again he says—And as he seized a fine home-fatten'd goose (χῆνα ἀτιταλλομένην).And in another place he says—I've twenty geese, fond of the lucid stream,Who in my house eat wheat, and fatten fast.And Eupolis mentions the livers of geese (and they are thought an excessive delicacy at Rome), in his Women Selling Garlands, where he says—If you have not a goose's liver or heart.
χήν. περιενεχθέντων δὲ τούτων καὶ ἄλλων ὀρνίθων περιττῶς ἐσκευασμένων ἔφη τις οἱ χῆνες σιτευτοί. καὶ ὁ Οὐλπιανὸς ὁ δὲ σιτευτὸς χὴν παρὰ τίνι; πρὸς ὃν ὁ Πλούταρχος·Θεόπομπος μὲν ἔφη ὁ Χῖος ἐν ταῖς Ἑλληνικαῖς κἀν τῇ τρισκαιδεκάτῃ δὲ τῶν Φιλιππικῶν Ἀγησιλάῳ τῷ Λάκωνι εἰς Αἴγυπτον ἀφικομένῳ πέμψαι τοὺς Αἰγυπτίους χῆνας καὶ μόσχους σιτευτούς· καὶ Ἐπιγένης δ’ ὁ κωμῳδιοποιὸς ἐν Βάκχαις φησίν ἀλλ’ εἴ τις ὥσπερ χῆν’ ἀνέτρεφέ μοι λαβὼν σιτευτόν. καὶ Ἀρχέστρατος ἐν τῷ πολυθρυλήτῳ ποιήματι καὶ σιτευτὸν χηνὸς ὁμοῦ σκεύαζε νεοττόν, ὀπτὸν ἁπλῶς καὶ τόνδε, σὺ δὲ ἡμῖν, ὦ Οὐλπιανέ, δίκαιος εἶ λέγειν, ὁ περὶ πάντων πάντας ἀπαιτῶν, ποῦ μνήμης ἠξίωται παρὰ τοῖς ἀρχαίοις τὰ πολυτελῆ ταῦτα τῶν χηνῶν ἥπατα, ὅτι γὰρ χηνοβοσκοὺς οἴδασι μάρτυς Κρατῖνος ἐν Διονυσαλεξάνδρῳ λέγων ᾽ χηνοβοσκοί, βουκόλοι Ὅμηρος δὲ καὶ θηλυκῶς καὶ ἀρσενικῶς εἴρηκεν· αἰετὸς ἀργὴν χῆνα φέρων καί· ὣς ὅδε χῆν’ ἥρπαξ’ ἀτιταλλομένην ἐνὶ οἴκῳ. καί· χῆνές μοι κατὰ οἶκον ἐείκοσι πυρὸν ἔδουσιν ἐξ ὕδατος, χηνείων δὲ ἡπάτων περισπούδαστα δὲ ταῦτα κατὰ τὴν ʽ Ῥώμην μνημονεύει Εὔβουλος ἐν Στεφανοπώλισι λέγων οὕτως· εἰ μὴ σὺ χηνὸς ἧπαρ ἢ ψυχὴν ἔχεις.
There were also heads of pigs split in half and served up as a dish. And this dish is mentioned by Crobylus, in his Son falsely held to be Supposititious—There came in half a head of a young pig,A tender dish; and I did stick to itSo close, by Jove, that I left none of it.After these things there was served up a haricot, called κρεωκάκκαβος. And this dish consists of meat chopped up with blood and fat, in a sauce richly sweetened: and Aristophanes the Grammarian says that it was the Achæans who gave this name to the dish. But Anticlides, in the seventy-eighth book of his Returns, says, “Once when there was a design on the part of the Erythreans to put the Chians to death by treachery at a banquet, one of them having learnt what was intended to be done, said–O Chians, wondrous is the insolenceWhich now has seized the Erythreans' hearts.Flee when you've done your pork-don't wait for beef.And Aristomenes, in his Jugglers, makes mention in the following terms of boiled meat, which he calls ἀναβραστὰ κρέα— * * * * * They used also to eat the testicles of animals, which they called νέφροι.—Philippodes, in his Renovation, speaking of the gluttony of Gnathæna the courtesan, says—Then, after all these things, a slave came in,Bearing a large dish full of testicles;And all the rest of the girls made prudish faces,But fair Gnathæna, that undoer of men,Laughed, and said, "Capital things are testicles,I swear by Ceres." So she took a pairAnd ate them up: so that the guests aroundFell back upon their chairs from laughing greatly.
ἦσαν δὲ καὶ ἡμίκραιραι πολλαὶ δελφάκων, μνημονεύει δ’ αὐτῶν Κρώβυλος ἐν Ψευδυποβολιμαίῳ· εἰσῆλθεν ἡμίκραιρα τακερὰ δέλφακος. ταύτης μὰ τὸν Δί᾽ οὐχὶ κατέλιπον δ’ ἐγὼ οὐδέν. μετὰ δὲ ταῦτα ὁ καλούμενος κρεωκάκκαβος. κρέα δ’ ἐστὶ ταῦτα συγκεκομμένα μεθ’ αἵματος καὶ λίπους ἐν ζωμῷ γεγλυκασμένῳ. λέγειν δὲ οὕτως Ἀριστοφάνης φησὶν ὁ γραμματικὸς Ἀχαιούς, ὁ Μυρτίλος ἔφη.Ἀντικλείδης δ᾽ ἐν η’ Νόστων ᾽ ἐν δείπνῳ, ᾽ φησίν, μελλόντων Χίων ὑπ’ Ἐρυθραίων ἐξ ἐπιβουλῆς ἀναιρεῖσθαι μαθών τις τὸ μέλλον γίνεσθαι ἔφη ὦ Χῖοι, πολλὴ γὰρ Ἐρυθραίους ἔχει ὕβρις, φεύγετε δειπνήσαντες ὑὸς κρέα μηδὲ μένειν βοῦν.᾽ ἀναβράστων δὲ κρεῶν μνημονεύει Ἀριστομένης Γόησιν οὕτως …· καὶ ὄρχεις ἤσθιον, οὓς καὶ νεφροὺς ἐκάλουν Φιλιππίδης ἐν τῇ Ἀνανεώσει Γναθαίνης τῆς ἑταίρας τὸ γαστρίμαργον ἐμφανίζων λέγει· ἔπειτ’ ἐπὶ τούτοις πᾶσιν ἧκ’ ὄρχεις φέρων πολλούς, τὰ μὲν οὖν γύναια τἄλλ’ ἠκκίζετο, ὁ ἡ δ’ ἀνδροφόνος Γνάθαιν᾽ ἀναγελάσασ᾽ ἅμα· ‘καλοί γε’ φησίν, ‘οἱ νεφροί, νὴ τὴν φίλην Δήμητρα.’ καὶ δύ᾽ ἁρπάσασα κατέπιεν, ὥσθ’ ὑπτίους ὑπὸ τοῦ γέλωτος καταπεσεῖν.
And when some one said that a cock dressed with a sauce of oil and vinegar (ὀξυλίπαρον) was a very good bird, Ulpian, who was fond of finding fault, and who was reclining on a couch by himself, eating little, but watching the rest of the guests, said—What is that ὀξυλίπαρον you speak of? unless indeed you give that name to the small figs called κόττανα and lepidium, which are both national food of mine. —But Timocles, he replied, the comic poet, in his play called The Ring, mentions ὀξυλίπαρον, saying—And sharks and rays and all the other fish,Which may be dressed in sauce of ὀξυλίπαρον.And Alexis has called some men ἀκρολίπαροι, fat on the surface, in his Wicked Woman, saying—Fat on the surface, but the rest of their bodyIs all as dry as wood.And once when a large fish was served up in sour pickle (ὀξάλμν), and somebody said that every fish (ὀψάριον) was best when dressed in this kind of pickle, Ulpian, picking out the small bones, and contracting his brows, said,—here do you find the word ὀξάλμη? And as to ὀψάριον, I am quite sure that that is a word used by no living author. However, at that time the guests all desired him to settle that as he pleased, and themselves preferred eating; while Cynulcus quoted these lines out of the Breezes of Metagenes—But, my friend, now let us dine,After that ask what you choose;For at present I'm so hungry,I can't recollect a thing.But Myrtilus in a pleasant manner declared that he subscribed to Ulpian's sentiments, so as to be willing to have nothing to eat, as long as he might talk; and said;—Cratinus, in his Ulysseses, has mentioned ὀξάλμη, in the following lines—And in return for this I now will takeAll you my brave companions; and will pound,And boil, and broil, and roast you thoroughly,In pickle, sour pickle (ὀξάλμη), garlic pickle,Soaking you thoroughly in each by turns.And that one which does seem most fairly roastedI'll do the honour to devour myself.And Aristophanes, in his Wasps,—Breathe on me, and then put me in hot pickle (ὀξάλμη).
εἰπόντος δὲ καὶ ἄλλου ἥδιστα γεγονέναι καὶ τὸν μετὰ ὀξυλιπάρου ἀλεκτρυόνα ὁ φιλεπιτιμητὴς Οὐλπιανὸς κατακείμενος μόνος, ὀλίγα δ’ ἐσθίων καὶ τηρῶν τοὺς λέγοντας ἔφη· ὀξυλίπαρον δὲ τί ἐστι; πλὴν εἰ μὴ καὶ κόττανα ἡμῖν, καὶ λέπιδιν, τὰ πάτριά μου νόμιμα βρώματα, ὀνομάζειν μέλλετε. καὶ ὃς Τιμοκλῆς, ἔφη,ὁ κωμικὸς ἐν Δακτυλίῳ μέμνηται τοῦ ὀξυλιπάρου λέγων οὕτως· γαλεοὺς καὶ βατίδας ὅσα τε τῶν γενῶν ἐν ὀξυλιπάρῳ τρίμματι σκευάζεται. ἀκρολιπάρους δέ τινας ἀνθρώπους κέκληκεν Ἄλεξις ἐν Πονήρᾳ οὕτως· ἀκρολίπαροι, τὸ δ’ ἄλλο σῶμ’ ὑπόξυλον.παρατεθέντος δέ ποτε καὶ ἰχθύος μεγάλου ἐν ὀξάλμῃ καὶ εἰπόντος τινὸς ἥδιστον εἶναι ὀψάριον πᾶν τὸ ἐν ὀξάλμῃ παρατιθέμενον, συναγαγὼν τὰς ὀφρῦς ὁ τὰς ἀκάνθας ἀγείρων Οὐλπιανὸς ποῦ κεῖται, ἔφη, ὀξάλμη; ὀψάριον γὰρ παρ’ οὐδενὶ τῶν ζώντων λεγόμενον οἶδα. οἱ μὲν οὖν πολλοὶ μακρά χαίρειν εἰπόντες αὐτῷ ἐδείπνουν, τοῦ Κυνούλκου τὰ ἐξ Αὐρῶν Μεταγένους ἀναφωνήσαντος· ἀλλ᾽, ὦ ᾽γαθέ, δειπνῶμεν πρῶτον, κἄπειτά με πάντ’ ἐπερωτᾶν ὅ τι ἂν βούλῃ· νῦν γὰρ πεινῶν δεινῶς πώς εἰμ᾽ ἐπιλήσμων. καὶ ὁ Μυρτίλος ἡδέως πως συναπογραφόμενος αὐτῷ, ἵνα μηδενὸς μεταλαμβάνῃ, ἀλλὰ πάντα λαλῇ, ἔφη·Κρατῖνος ἐν Ὀδυσσεῦσιν εἴρηκε τὴν ὀξάλμην διὰ τούτων ἀνθ’ ὧν πάντας ἑλὼν ὑμᾶς ἐρίηρας ἑταίρους, φρύξας, ἑψήσας, κἀπ’ ἀνθρακιᾶς ὀπτήσας, εἰς ἅλμην τε καὶ ὀξάλμην κᾆτ’ ἐς σκοροδάλμην χλιερὸν ἐμβάπτων, ὃς ἂν ὀπτότατός μοι ἁπάντων ὑμῶν φαίνηται, κατατρώξομαι, ὦ στρατιῶται. καὶ Ἀριστοφάνης Σφηξὶν ἀποφυσήσας εἰς ὀξάλμην ἔμβαλε θερμήν.