1. In spirit I am well, so far as it is the Lord's good pleasure and as He deigns to grant me strength; in body, I am confined to bed. I can neither walk nor stand nor sit down because of the pain and swelling of piles or tumours. b Yet even so, since that is the Lord's good pleasure, what else should I say than that I am well? If we do not like what pleases Him, we ourselves are rather to assume the blame than to imagine that He is wrong in what He either does or allows. This is all familiar to you, but since you are my second self, what can I say to you with more pleasure than what I say to myself? To your holy prayers then I commend both my nights and my days; pray for me, that I may not squander my days and that I may endure my nights with patience; pray that even if I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, the Lord may be with me that I may fear no evil. c You will have already heard, I am sure, of the death of the Senior Megalius a; as I write, it is almost twenty-four days since his body was laid to rest.
1. Secundum spiritum, quantum domino placet atque ipse vires praebere dignatur, recte sumus; corpore autem ego in lecto sum; nec ambulare enim nec stare nec sedere possum rhagadis vel exochadis dolore et tumore. Sed etiam sic, quoniam id domino placet, quid aliud dicendum est, nisi quia recte sumus? Potius enim, si id nolumus quod ille vult, nos culpandi sumus, quam ille non recte aliquid vel facere vel sinere existimandus est. Nosti haec omnia; sed quia mihi es alter ego, quid libentius tecum loquerer, nisi quod mecum loquor? Commendamus ergo sanctis orationibus tuis et dies et noctes nostras, ut oretis pro nobis, ne diebus intemperanter utamur, ut noctes aequo animo toleremus, ut, etiam si ambulemus in medio umbrae mortis, nobiscum sit dominus, ne timeamus mala.
2. Let me know, if possible, whether you have seen his successor in the primacy, as was your intention. We are not without our trials, yet not without our refuge; we are not without our sorrows, yet not without comfort either. And you are excellently well aware, my excellent brother, how carefully amid such vexations we must watch that no ill-feeling towards anyone takes possession of our inmost heart and prevents us from entering into our chamber, closing the door and praying to God, b and even closes the door against God Himself. Although no angry person thinks his own anger is unjustified, it grows upon him, and anger that becomes inveterate in this way passes into hatred, c since the pleasureableness that accompanies an apparently justified resentment keeps it longer in the vessel until the whole thing grows sour and spoils the vessel. For this reason it is much better to be angry with no one, even when it is justifiable, than from apparently justified anger to slip by the stealthy tendency of passion into hatred of anyone. We have a proverbial saying about welcoming unknown guests that it is much better to endure a bad man than through ignorance to risk shutting out a good one from fear of welcoming a bad one. But with our passions the opposite is true: for it is beyond comparison a more beneficial thing not to open the shrine of our heart at the knock of even justified anger than to yield it entrance; once in, it will not easily be expelled, and it will grow from a sapling to a sturdy tree, since it boldly and shamelessly develops at an even greater speed than people imagine, for it is not put to shame in the darkness, when the sun has gone down upon it. a You can at any rate bethink you of the care and anxiety with which I write this, if you bethink you of your remarks on a recent journey we made together.
2. Quod senex Megalius defunctus sit, iam vos audisse quis dubitet? Erant autem a depositione corporis eius. cum haec scriberem, dies ferme viginti quattuor. Utrum iam videris, disponebas enim, successorem primatus eius, si fieri potest, nosse volumus. Non desunt scandala sed neque refugium; non desunt maerores sed neque consolationes. Atque inter haec quam vigilandum sit, ne cuiusquam odium cordis intima teneat neque sinat, ut oremus deum in cubili nostro clauso ostio, sed adversus ipsum deum claudat ostium, nosti optime, optime frater; subrepit autem, dum nulli irascenti ira sua videtur iniusta. Ita enim inveterescens ira fit odium, dum quasi iusti doloris admixta dulcedo diutius eam in vase detinet, donec totum acescat vasque corrumpat. Quapropter multo melius nec iuste cuiquam irascimur, quam velut iuste irascendo in alicuius odium irae occulta facilitate delabimur. In recipiendis enim hospitibus ignotis solemus dicere multo esse melius malum hominem perpeti quam forsitan per ignorantiam excludi bonum, dum cavemus, ne recipiatur malus. Sed in affectibus animi contra est. Nam incomparabiliter salubrius est irae etiam iuste pulsanti non aperire penetrale cordis quam admittere non facile recessuram et per- venturam de surculo ad trabem. Audet quippe inpudenter etiam crescere citius, quam putatur. Non enim erubescit in tenebris, cum super eam sol occiderit. Recolis certe, qua cura et quanta sollicitudine ista scripserim, si recolis quid mecum nuper in itinere quodam locutus sis.
3. Give my greetings to brother Severus b and his company. I should perhaps be writing to them too, if the bearer's haste allowed it. I want, however, to express my thanks through your Holiness to our brother Victor for letting me know when he was going to Constantine. c Please help me by asking him if he would mind making his return journey by Calama, as he promised me he would, because of that business he knows of; it is weighing very heavily on me, for the elder Nectarius d is very insistent about it. Good-bye.
3. Fratrem Severum et qui cum eo sunt salutamus. Etiam ipsis fortasse scriberemus, si per festinationem perlatoris liceret. Peto autem, ut apud eundem fratrem nostrum Victorem, cui ago etiam apud tuam sanctitatem gratias, quod Constantinam cum pergeret indicavit, petendo adiuves, propter negotium quod ipse novit, de quo gravissimum pondus pro ea re multum deprecantis Nectarii maioris patior, per Calamam remeare ne gravetur; sic enim promisit mihi. Vale.