---
title: "A Slip of the Tongue in Greeting · Ὑπέρ τοῦ ἐν τῇ προσαγορεύσει πταισμάτως"
author: "Lucian"
translator: "Kenneth Kilburn"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Classical Greek"
section: 1 of 1
url: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-a-slip-of-the-tongue/1/
cite: "Lucian, tr. Kenneth Kilburn, A Slip of the Tongue in Greeting · Ὑπέρ τοῦ ἐν τῇ προσαγορεύσει πταισμάτως, section 1. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-a-slip-of-the-tongue/1/"
---

# A Slip of the Tongue in Greeting · Ὑπέρ τοῦ ἐν τῇ προσαγορεύσει πταισμάτως

*Lucian, tr. Kenneth Kilburn*

Lucian greeted a patron in the morning with the evening’s greeting and explains himself at length.

> Greek: ed. Kenneth Kilburn, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0062.tlg058, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Kenneth Kilburn, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0062.tlg058.perseus-eng3). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 1. Sections 1–19

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-a-slip-of-the-tongue/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-a-slip-of-the-tongue/1/#p-N

[¶0] 1. It is difficult for a mortal to avoid the caprice of some power on high, but it is much more difficult to find a defence for a silly slip sent by some such heavenly power. Both of these misfortunes have now happened to me. When I came to you to give you the morning greeting, I ought to have used the usual expression “Joy to you,” but like a golden ass I blundered and said “Health to you,” a pleasant enough greeting, but not suitable—it is not for the morning. As soon as I had said it I was all sixes and sevens. I began to sweat and went pink. Some of the company thought it a slip—naturally enough; others thought that I had become a fool in my old age, or that it was a hangover from yesterday’s drinking. You took it very well, though—not a trace of a smile to mark my slip of the tongue. So I thought it a good idea to write something to comfort myself, so as not to be too upset over my slip, or think it intolerable if I, an old man, had fallen so far from what was proper before so many witnesses. I don’t think an apology was necessary for a tongue that slipped into a wish so pleasant.

> Greek: 1. Χαλεπὸν μὲν ἄνθρωπον ὄντα δαίμονός τινος ἐπήρειαν διαφυγεῖν, πολὺ δὲ χαλεπώτερον ἀπολογίαν εὑρεῖν παραλόγου καὶ δαιμονίου πταίσματος, ἅπερ ἀμφότερα νῦν ἐμοὶ συμβέβηκεν, ὃς ἀφικόμενος παρὰ σέ, ὡς προσείποιμι τὸ ἑωθινόν, δέον τὴν συνήθη ταύτην φωνὴν ἀφεῖναι καὶ χαίρειν κελεύειν, ἐγὼ δὲ ὁ χρυσοῦς ἐπιλαθόμενος ὑγιαίνειν σε ἠξίουν, εὔφημον μὲν καὶ τοῦτο, οὐκ ἐν καιρῷ δὲ ὡς οὐ κατὰ τὴν ἕω. ἐγὼ μὲν οὖν ἐπὶ τούτῳ εὐθὺς ἴδιόν τε καὶ ἠρυθρίων καὶ παντοῖος ἦν ὑπὸ ἀπορίας, οἱ παρόντες δὲ οἱ μὲν παραπαίειν, ὡς τὸ εἰκός, οἱ δὲ ληρεῖν ὑφ' ἡλικίας, οἱ δὲ χθεσινῆς κραιπάλης ἀνάμεστον ἔτι ᾤοντό με εἶναι, εἰ καὶ ὅτι μάλιστα σὺ ἐπιεικῶς ἤνεγκας τὸ γεγονὸς οὐδ’ ὅσον ἄκρῳ τῷ μειδιάματι ἐπισημηνάμενος τῆς γλώττης τὴν διαμαρτίαν. ἔδοξεν οὖν μοι καλῶς ἔχειν παραμυθίαν τινὰ ἐμαυτῷ συγγράψαι, ὡς μὴ πάνυ ἀνιῴμην ἐπὶ τῷ πταίσματι μηδ’ ἀφόρητον ἡγοίμην, εἰ πρεσβύτης ἀνὴρ τοσοῦτον ἀπεσφάλην τοῦ καλῶς ἔχοντος ἐπὶ τοσούτων μαρτύρων. ἀπολογίας μὲν γὰρ οὐδὲν ἔδει οἶμαι ὑπὲρ γλώττης εἰς οὕτως εὔφημον εὐχὴν ὀλισθούσης.

[¶1] 2. When I began to write, I thought that I was taking on an impossible task, but as I went on I found plenty to say. But before I tell you this, let me say a few suitable words about these greetings “Joy to you,” “Do well,” and “Health to you.” “Joy to you” is the ancient greeting, not however confined to the morning or to the first meeting, but they used it whenever they first caught sight of one another, as in
“Joy to you, you lord of this Tirynthian land,”
and after dinner when they were ready to talk over their wine, as in
“Joy to you, Achilles, there is no lack
Of meat for all alike.”
when Odysseus was declaring to him his embassy’s mission. They used it also when they took their leave, as in
“Joy to you! No longer mortal know me now,
To you a god divine.”
This greeting was not reserved for a special time, as now only for morning. Indeed even on the most unwelcome and inauspicious occasions they used it nevertheless, as in Euripides when Polynices at the end of his life says
“Joy to you! For now does darkness gird me
round.”
It was not just a sign for them of friendly feeling, but also of dislike and final parting. For example, to bid “Joy to it and a long one” meant that they washed their hands of it.

> Greek: 2. Ἀρχόμενος μὲν οὖν τῆς γραφῆς πάνυ ἀπόρῳ ἐντεύξεσθαι ᾤμην τῷ προβλήματι, προϊόντι δὲ πολλὰ προὐφάνη τὰ λεκτέα. οὐ μὴν πρότερον ἐρῶ αὐτά, ἢν μὴ περὶ τοῦ χαίρειν αὐτοῦ καὶ τοῦ εὖ πράττειν καὶ τοῦ ὑγιαίνειν προείπω τὰ εἰκότα. Τὸ μὲν δὴ χαίρειν ἀρχαία μὲν ἡ προσαγόρευσις, οὐ μὴν ἑωθινὴ μόνον οὐδὲ ὑπὸ τὴν πρώτην ἔντευξιν, ἀλλὰ καὶ πρῶτον μὲν ἰδόντες ἀλλήλους ἔλεγον αὐτό, ὡς τό
χαῖρ', ὦ δυνάστα τῆσδε γῆς Τιρυνθίας.
καὶ μετὰ τὸ δεῖπνον ἐς λόγους ἤδη παροινίους τρεπόμενοι, ὡς τό
χαῖρ', Ἀχιλεῦ, δαιτὸς μὲν ἐΐσης οὐκ ἐπιδευεῖς,
Ὀδυσσεὺς ὁπότε τὴν ἐπεσταλμένην πρεσβείαν αὐτῷ ἐρρητόρευεν. καὶ ἤδη ἀπιόντες παρ' ἀλλήλων, ὡς τό
χαίρετ', ἐγὼ δ’ ὔμμιν θεὸς ἄμβροτος, οὐκέτι
θνητός.
ἴδιος δὲ καιρὸς οὐδεὶς ἀπενενέμητο τῇ προσρήσει, οὐδὲ ὡς νῦν μόνος ὁ ἑωθινός, ὅπου γε καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν ἀπαισίων καὶ ἀπευκτοτάτων ὅμως ἐχρῶντο αὐτῇ, ὡς ὁ τοῦ Εὐριπίδου Πολυνείκης ἤδη τελευτῶν τὸν βίον,
καὶ χαίρετ', ἤδη γάρ με περιβάλλει σκότος.
καὶ οὐ μόνον φιλοφροσύνης αὐτοῖς ἦν τοῦτο σύμβολον, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀπεχθείας καὶ τοῦ μηκέτι χρήσεσθαι ἀλλήλοις. τὸ γοῦν μακρὰ χαίρειν φράσαι τὸ μηκέτι φροντιεῖν δηλοῖ.

[¶2] 3. Philippides, the one who acted as courier, is said to have used it first in our sense when he brought the news of victory from Marathon and addressed the magistrates in session when they were anxious how the battle had ended; “Joy to you, we’ve won,” he said, and there and then he died, breathing his last breath with that “Joy to you.” Cleon the Athenian demagogue also began his letter from Sphacteria with “Joy to you,” when he gave the good news of the victory there and the capture of the Spartiates. However after him Nicias in his despatches from Sicily followed the old practice and began right away with the matter in hand.

> Greek: 3. Πρῶτος δ’ αὐτὸ Φιλιππίδης ὁ ἡμεροδρομήσας λέγεται ἀπὸ Μαραθῶνος ἀγγέλλων τὴν νίκην εἰπεῖν πρὸς τοὺς ἄρχοντας καθημένους καὶ πεφροντικότας ὑπὲρ τοῦ τέλους τῆς μάχης, Χαίρετε, νικῶμεν, καὶ τοῦτο εἰπὼν συναποθανεῖν τῇ ἀγγελίᾳ καὶ τῷ χαίρειν συνεκπνεῦσαι. ἐν ἐπιστολῆς δὲ ἀρχῇ Κλέων ὁ Ἀθηναῖος δημαγωγὸς ἀπὸ Σφακτηρίας πρῶτον χαίρειν προὔθηκεν εὐαγγελιζόμενος τὴν νίκην τὴν ἐκεῖθεν καὶ τὴν τῶν Σπαρτιατῶν ἅλωσιν. καὶ ὅμως γε μετ' ἐκεῖνον ὁ Νικίας ἀπὸ Σικελίας ἐπιστέλλων ἐν τῷ ἀρχαίῳ τῶν ἐπιστολῶν διέμεινεν ἀπ' αὐτῶν ἀρξάμενος τῶν πραγμάτων.

[¶3] 4. The admirable Plato himself, a most sound authority on such matters, altogether rejected the use of “Joy to you” as bad and pointless. He substitutes “Do well,” which implies a good state of both body and soul. In a letter to Dionysius he censures him for greeting Apollo with “Joy to you” in his poem to the god; it is unworthy of the Pythian, he says, and not even for men of taste is it becoming, let alone gods.

> Greek: 4. Ἀλλ' ὁ θαυμαστὸς Πλάτων, ἀνὴρ ἀξιόπιστος νομοθέτης τῶν τοιούτων, τὸ μὲν χαίρειν κελεύειν καὶ πάνυ ἀποδοκιμάζει ὡς μοχθηρὸν ὂν καὶ οὐδὲν σπουδαῖον ἐμφαῖνον, τὸ δ’ εὖ πράττειν ἀντ' αὐτοῦ εἰσάγει ὡς κοινὸν σώματός τε καὶ ψυχῆς εὖ διακειμένων σύμβολον, καὶ ἐπιστέλλων γε τῷ Διονυσίῳ αἰτιᾶται αὐτόν, ὅτι ποιῶν ἐς τὸν Ἀπόλλω χαίρειν τὸν θεὸν προσεῖπεν ὡς ἀνάξιον τοῦ Πυθίου καὶ οὐχ ὅπως θεοῖς, ἀλλ’ οὐδ’ ἀνθρώποις δεξιοῖς πρέπον.

[¶4] 5. The divine Pythagoras chose not to leave us anything of his own, but if we may judge by Ocellus the Leucanian and Archytas and his other disciples, he did not prefix “Joy to you” or “Do well,” but told them to begin with “Health to you.” At any rate all his school in serious letters to each other began straightway with “Health to you,” as a greeting most suitable for both body and soul, encompassing all human goods. Indeed the Pentagram, the triple intersecting triangle which they used as a symbol of their sect, they called “Health.” In short they thought that health included doing well and joy, but that the converse did not altogether hold. Some of them called the Quaternion, their most solemn oath, which made for them the perfect number, the Beginning of Health. Philolaus, for example.

> Greek: 5. Ὁ μέν γε θεσπέσιος Πυθαγόρας, εἰ καὶ μηδὲν αὐτὸς ἴδιον ἡμῖν καταλιπεῖν τῶν αὐτοῦ ἠξίωσεν, ὅσον Ὀκέλλῳ τῷ Λευκανῷ καὶ Ἀρχύτᾳ καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις ὁμιληταῖς αὐτοῦ τεκμαίρεσθαι, οὔτε τὸ χαίρειν οὔτε τὸ εὖ πράττειν προὔγραφεν, ἀλλ’ ἀπὸ τοῦ ὑγιαίνειν ἄρχεσθαι ἐκέλευεν. ἅπαντες γοῦν οἱ ἀπ' αὐτοῦ ἀλλήλοις ἐπιστέλλοντες ὁπότε σπουδαῖόν τι γράφοιεν ὑγιαίνειν εὐθὺς ἐν ἀρχῇ παρεκελεύοντο ὡς καὶ αὐτὸ ψυχῇ τε καὶ σώματι ἁρμοδιώτατον καὶ συνόλως ἅπαντα περιειληφὸς τἀνθρώπου ἀγαθά, καὶ τό γε τριπλοῦν αὐτοῖς τρίγωνον τὸ δι’ ἀλλήλων τὸ πεντάγραμμον, ᾧ συμβόλῳ πρὸς τοὺς ὁμοδόξους ἐχρῶντο, ὑγίεια πρὸς αὐτῶν ὠνομάζετο, καὶ ὅλως ἡγοῦντο τῷ μὲν ὑγιαίνειν τὸ εὖ πράττειν καὶ τὸ χαίρειν εἶναι, οὔτε δὲ τῷ εὖ πράττειν οὔτε τῷ χαίρειν πάντως καὶ τὸ ὑγιαίνειν. εἰσὶ δὲ οἳ καὶ τὴν τετρακτύν, τὸν μέγιστον ὅρκον αὐτῶν, ἣ τὸν ἐντελῆ αὐτοῖς ἀριθμὸν ἀποτελεῖ, ἤδη καὶ ὑγιείας ἀρχὴν ἐκάλεσαν. ὧν καὶ Φιλόλαός ἐστι.

[¶5] 6. But why quote the ancients when there is Epicurus? He certainly enjoyed joy, and chose Pleasure as the chief good. In his more serious letters (there are not many of these) and in those to his dearest friends he generally began straightway with “Health to you.” In tragedy too and in Old Comedy you will often find “Health” said straightway first. The greeting
“Good health and joy be yours”
clearly puts health before joy. Alexis says
“Good health, my lord! At long last you are
here,”
and Achaeus
“I come in dreadful case, but health I wish to
you,”
and Philemon
“First I beg good health, and second doing well,
Thirdly to have joy, and last to owe no debts.”
What does the writer of that drinking-song which Plato mentions say? “Good health is best, then good looks, third wealth,” and he never mentions joy at all. I need hardly mention that most familiar piece of all which everybody quotes,
“I’d live with thee, O Health, chief of the gods
Through all the mortal life that’s left to me.”
Then if health is the chief of the gods, her work—the enjoyment of good health—is to be preferred to other blessings.

> Greek: 6. Καὶ τί σοι τοὺς παλαιοὺς λέγω, ὅπου καὶ Ἐπίκουρος ἀνὴρ πάνυ χαίρων τῷ χαίρειν καὶ τὴν ἡδονὴν πρὸ ἁπάντων αἱρούμενος ἐν ταῖς σπουδαιοτέραις ἐπιστολαῖς (εἰσὶ δὲ αὗται ὀλίγαι) καὶ ἐν ταῖς πρὸς τοὺς φιλτάτους μάλιστα ὑγιαίνειν εὐθὺς ἐν ἀρχῇ προστάττει; πολὺ δ’ ἂν καὶ ἐν τῇ τραγῳδίᾳ καὶ ἐν τῇ ἀρχαίᾳ κωμῳδίᾳ εὕροις τὸ ὑγιαίνειν πρῶτον εὐθὺς λεγόμενον. τὸ μὲν γὰρ
οὖλέ τε καὶ μάλα χαῖρε
σαφῶς προτεταγμένον τοῦ χαίρειν τὸ ὑγιαίνειν ἔχει. ὁ δὲ Ἄλεξις,
ὦ δέσποθ', ὑγίαιν', ὡς χρόνιος ἐλήλυθας·
ὁ δὲ Ἀχαιός,
ἥκω πεπραγὼς δεινά, σὺ δ’ ὑγίαινέ μοι·
καὶ ὁ Φιλήμων,
αἰτῶ δ’ ὑγίειαν πρῶτον, εἶτ' εὐπραξίαν,
τρίτον δὲ χαίρειν, εἶτ' ὀφείλειν μηδενί.
ὁ μὲν γὰρ τὸ σκόλιον γράψας, οὗ καὶ Πλάτων μέμνηται, τί καὶ οὗτός φησιν; Ὑγιαίνειν μὲν ἄριστον, τὸ δεύτερον καλὸν γενέσθαι, τρίτον δὲ πλουτεῖν, τοῦ χαίρειν δὲ τὸ παράπαν οὐκ ἐμνήσθη, ἵνα σοι μὴ τὸ γνωριμώτατον ἐκεῖνο καὶ πᾶσι διὰ στόματος λέγω,
ὑγίεια, πρεσβίστα μακάρων, μετὰ σεῦ ναίοιμι τὸ
λειπόμενον
βιοτᾶς.
ὥστε εἰ πρεσβίστη ἐστὶν ὑγίεια, καὶ τὸ ἔργον αὐτῆς τὸ ὑγιαίνειν προτακτέον τῶν ἄλλων ἀγαθῶν.

[¶6] 7. I could show you thousands of other passages in the poets and historians and philosophers which put health first, but I shall beg to be excused, or my writing will be guilty of the bad taste of an adolescent, and only knock one nail out with another. But a few things from ancient history I remember are to the point, and I may as well add them for you.

> Greek: 7. Μυρία δὲ καὶ ἄλλα ἔκ τε ποιητῶν καὶ συγγραφέων καὶ φιλοσόφων καταδεῖξαί σοι ἔχων, προτιμώντων τὸ ὑγιαίνειν, τοῦτο μὲν παραιτήσομαι, ὡς μὴ εἰς ἀπειροκαλίαν τινὰ μειρακιώδη ἐκπέσῃ μοι τὸ σύγγραμμα καὶ κινδυνεύωμεν ἄλλῳ ἥλῳ ἐκκρούειν τὸν ἧλον, ὀλίγα δέ σοι τῆς ἀρχαίας ἱστορίας ὁπόσα μέμνημαι οἰκεῖα τῷ παρόντι προσγράψαι καλῶς ἔχειν ὑπέλαβον.

[¶7] 8. Just before the Battle of Issus, as Eumenes of Cardia says in his letter to Antipater, Hephaestion came early into Alexander’s tent. He blundered or was confused (as I was) or was driven to it by some god when he gave my greeting: “Health to you, king,” he said, it is already time to set the battle-line.” The others present were upset by the strange address, and Hephaestion almost died for shame. But Alexander said, “I accept the omen. It has now promised us a safe return from the battle.”

> Greek: 8. Ὅτε Ἀλέξανδρος τὴν ἐν Ἰσσῷ μάχην ἀγωνιεῖσθαι ἔμελλεν, ὡς Εὐμένης ὁ Καρδιανὸς ἐν τῇ πρὸς Ἀντίπατρον ἐπιστολῇ λέγει, ἕωθεν εἰσελθὼν εἰς τὴν σκηνὴν αὐτοῦ ὁ Ἡφαιστίων, εἴτ' ἐπιλαθόμενος εἴτε ταραχθεὶς ὥσπερ ἐγὼ εἴτε καὶ θεοῦ τινος τοῦτο καταναγκάσαντος, ταὐτὸν ἐμοὶ ἔφη, Ὑγίαινε, βασιλεῦ, καιρὸς ἤδη παρατάττεσθαι. ταραχθέντων δὲ τῶν παρόντων πρὸς τὸ παράδοξον τῆς προσαγορεύσεως καὶ τοῦ Ἡφαιστίωνος ὀλίγου δεῖν ὑπ' αἰδοῦς ἐκθανόντος, Ἀλέξανδρος, Δέχομαι, εἶπε, τὴν κλῃδόνα. τὸ γὰρ σώους ἐπανήξειν ἀπὸ τῆς μάχης ἤδη μοι ὑπέσχηται.

[¶8] 9. When Antiochus Soter was about to engage the Galatians, he dreamed he saw Alexander standing by him, who told him to give the army the password “Health” before the battle, and under that word he won his amazing victory.

> Greek: 9. Ἀντίοχος δὲ ὁ σωτὴρ ὅτε τοῖς Γαλάταις συνάπτειν ἔμελλεν, ἔδοξεν ὄναρ ἐπιστάντα οἱ τὸν Ἀλέξανδρον κελεύειν σύνθημα πρὸ τῆς μάχης παραδοῦναι τῇ στρατιᾷ τὸ ὑγιαίνειν, καὶ ὑπὸ τούτῳ τῷ συνθήματι τὴν θαυμαστὴν ἐκείνην νίκην ἐνίκησεν.

[¶9] 10. Ptolemy, the son of Lagos, when writing to Seleucus clearly reversed the usual order by putting “Health to you” at the beginning of his letter, and at the end “Joy to you” instead of wishing him strength. Dionysodorus who collected his letters tells us this.

> Greek: 10. Καὶ Πτολεμαῖος δὲ ὁ Λάγου Σελεύκῳ ἐπιστέλλων σαφῶς ἀνέστρεψε τὴν τάξιν ἐν ἀρχῇ μὲν τῆς ἐπιστολῆς ὑγιαίνειν αὐτὸν προσειπών, ἐπὶ τέλει δὲ ἀντὶ τοῦ ἐρρῶσθαι ὑπογράψας τὸ χαίρειν, ὡς Διονυσόδωρος ὁ τὰς ἐπιστολὰς αὐτοῦ συναγαγών φησιν.

[¶10] 11. Then Pyrrhus of Epirus also is worthy of mention. As a general he was second only to Alexander and endured a myriad changes of fortune. In all his prayers to the gods and sacrifices and offerings he never asked them for victory or increased kingly dignity or glory or excessive wealth; his prayer was for this thing alone—good health; he was sure that if he had this he would easily get all the rest. I think he was right when he considered that all the blessings in the world are worth nothing when health is the one thing he hasn’t got.

> Greek: 11. Ἄξιον δὲ καὶ Πύρρου τοῦ Ἠπειρώτου μνησθῆναι, ἀνδρὸς μετὰ Ἀλέξανδρον τὰ δεύτερα ἐν στρατηγίαις ἐνεγκαμένου καὶ μυρίας τροπὰς τῆς τύχης ἐνεγκόντος. οὗτος τοίνυν ἀεὶ θεοῖς εὐχόμενος καὶ θύων καὶ ἀνατιθεὶς οὐδεπώποτε ἢ νίκην ἢ βασιλείας ἀξίωμα μεῖζον ἢ εὔκλειαν ἢ πλούτου ὑπερβολὴν ᾔτησε παρ' αὐτῶν, ἀλλ’ ἓν τοῦτο ηὔχετο, ὑγιαίνειν, ὡς ἔστ' ἂν τοῦτ' ἔχῃ, ῥᾳδίως αὐτῷ τῶν ἄλλων προσγενησομένων. καὶ ἄριστα οἶμαι ἐφρόνει, λογιζόμενος ὅτι οὐδὲν ὄφελος τῶν ἁπάντων ἀγαθῶν, ἔστ' ἂν τοῦ ὑγιαίνειν μόνον ἀπῇ.

[¶11] 12. Yes, someone will say, we have assigned the proper time for each phrase, but you have switched it; and even if you have done nothing else wrong, you have still in all justice made a slip; you’ve put a helmet on your shins and greaves on your head. Oh, yes, my good sir, I would answer, that would be reasonable if there were any time at all when health wasn’t needed; as it is you always need health—morning, noon, and night—, especially you magistrates and busy men who depend so much on your bodily vigour. “Joy to you” is only an auspicious beginning, a prayer in fact. “Health to you” is positive and useful; it reminds you of what makes for good health; it is a warning as well as a prayer.

> Greek: 12. Ναί, φησίν τις, ἀλλὰ νῦν ἑκάστου καιρὸς ἴδιος ὑφ' ἡμῶν ἀποδέδεικται, σὺ δὲ τοῦτον ἐναλλάξας, εἰ καὶ μηδὲν ἄλλο ἐσφάλης, ὅμως τῷ δικαίῳ λόγῳ οὐκ ἂν ἔξω εἴης τοῦ ἡμαρτηκέναι, ὥσπερ ἂν εἴ τις περὶ τῇ κνήμῃ τὸ κράνος ἢ περὶ τῇ κεφαλῇ τὰς κνημῖδας ἐπιδήσαιτο. Ἀλλ', ὦ βέλτιστε, φαίην ἂν κἀγὼ πρὸς αὐτόν, εἰκότως ἂν ταῦτα ἔλεγες, εἴ τις ὅλως καιρὸς ἦν ὑγιείας μὴ δεόμενος, νῦν δὲ καὶ ἕωθεν καὶ μεσούσης ἡμέρας καὶ νύκτωρ ἀεὶ τὸ ὑγιαῖνον ἀναγκαῖον, καὶ μάλιστα τοῖς ἄρχουσι καὶ πολλὰ πράττουσιν ὑμῖν, ὅσῳ καὶ πρὸς τὰ πολλὰ δεῖσθε τοῦ σώματος. ἔτι δὲ ὁ μὲν χαῖρε εἰπὼν μόνον εὐφήμῳ τῇ ἀρχῇ ἐχρήσατο, καὶ ἔστιν εὐχὴ το πρᾶγμα, ὁ δὲ ὑγιαίνειν παρακελευόμενος καὶ χρήσιμόν τι δρᾷ καὶ ὑπομιμνήσκει τῶν πρὸς τὸ ὑγιαίνειν συντελούντων, καὶ οὐ συνεύχεται μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ παραγγέλλει. τί δ’;

[¶12] 13. Now in the book of instructions you always get from the emperor, isn’t the first injunction to you to take care of your health? And rightly so. You would not be of much use otherwise. Indeed you yourselves, if I know any Latin, also often return the word “Health” when you shake hands.

> Greek: 13. οὐχὶ καὶ ἐν τῷ τῶν ἐντολῶν βιβλίῳ, ὃ ἀεὶ παρὰ βασιλέως λαμβάνετε, τοῦτο πρῶτον ὑμῖν ἐστι παράγγελμα, τῆς ὑγιείας τῆς ὑμετέρας αὐτῶν ἐπιμελεῖσθαι; καὶ μάλ' εἰκότως· οὐδὲν γὰρ ἂν εἴη ὄφελος ὑμῶν πρὸς τὰ ἄλλα μὴ οὕτω διακειμένων. ἀλλὰ καὶ ὑμεῖς αὐτοί, εἴ τι κἀγὼ τῆς Ῥωμαίων φωνῆς ἐπαΐω, τοὺς προσαγορεύοντας ἀντιδεξιούμενοι τῷ τῆς ὑγιείας ὀνόματι πολλάκις ἀμείβεσθε.

[¶13] 14. In saying all this I did not want deliberately to discard “Joy to you” and put “Health” in its place; this was an accident—it would be ridiculous for me to surprise you all by changing the usual times of the greetings.

> Greek: 14. Καὶ ταῦτα πάντα εἶπον οὐχ ὡς ἐκ προνοίας ἀφελὼν μὲν τὸ χαίρειν, ἐπιτηδεύσας δὲ ἀντ' αὐτοῦ εἰπεῖν τὸ ὑγιαίνειν, ἀλλ’ ὡς τοῦτο μὲν ἄκων παθών—ἢ γελοῖος γ' ἂν ἦν ξενίζων καὶ τοὺς καιροὺς τῶν προσαγορεύσεων ἐναλλάττων.

[¶14] 15. I am grateful to heaven that my slip was a switch into something much more auspicious and slid into something better. Perhaps the goddess Health or Asclepius himself inspired me on purpose to promise you health through me. I could certainly never have done it without a god’s intervention, when I was never confused like this before in a long life.

> Greek: 15. χάριν δὲ ὁμολογῶ τοῖς θεοῖς, ὅτι μοι τὸ σφάλμα εἰς ἄλλο μακρῷ αἰσιώτερον περιετράπη καὶ εἰς τὸ ἄμεινον παρώλισθον, καὶ τάχα τῆς Ὑγιείας ἢ Ἀσκληπιοῦ αὐτοῦ ἐπιπνοίᾳ τοῦτ' ἐπράχθη δι’ ἐμοῦ σοι τὸ ὑγιαίνειν ὑπισχνουμένου· ἐπεὶ ἔγωγε πῶς ἂν αὐτὸ ἔπαθον ἄνευ θεοῦ μηδέπω πρότερον ἐν τῷ μακρῷ βίῳ ταραχθεὶς ὅμοιον;

[¶15] 16. But, if I must make a human apology for what has happened, there is nothing strange, if a fervent desire for your good opinion in all that is best was too strong and in my utter confusion I stumbled into the opposite effect. A man might also be startled away from proper deliberation by the crowd of soldiers pushing their way to the front or not waiting their turn in presenting their petitions.

> Greek: 16. Εἰ δὲ δεῖ καὶ ἀνθρωπίνην τινὰ ὑπὲρ τοῦ γεγονότος ἀπολογίαν εἰπεῖν, οὐδὲν ξένον, εἰ πάνυ ἐσπουδακὼς ἐπὶ τοῖς ἀρίστοις ὑπὸ σοῦ γνωρίζεσθαι ἐκ τῆς ἄγαν ἐπιθυμίας εἰς τοὐναντίον διαταραχθεὶς ἐνέπεσον. τάχα δ’ ἄν τινα ἐκπλήξειε τῶν κατ' ὀρθὸν λογισμῶν καὶ στρατιωτῶν πλῆθος, ὧν οἱ μὲν προωθοῦντες, οἱ δὲ ἐν τῇ τάξει τῆς προσαγορεύσεως μὴ μένοντες.

[¶16] 17. But I know that you at any rate have taken the affair as a sign of modesty and simplicity and a mind un-debased and unsophisticated, even if the others referred it to ignorance or bad training or idiocy. Excessive boldness in such matters is not far off audacity and shamelessness. May I never make such a slip, or, if I do, may I happen on some lucky phrase!

> Greek: 17. σὺ δ’ εὖ οἶδ’ ὅτι κἂν οἱ ἄλλοι εἰς ἄνοιαν ἢ ἀπαιδευσίαν ἢ παραφροσύνην ἀναφέρωσιν τὸ πρᾶγμα, αἰδοῦς αὐτὸ σύμβολον καὶ ἀφελείας ἐποιήσω καὶ ψυχῆς μηδὲν ἀγοραῖον καὶ ἔντεχνον ἐχούσης· ὡς τό γε πάνυ θαρραλέον ἐν τοῖς τοιούτοις οὐ πόρρω θρασύτητος καὶ ἀναισχυντίας ἐστίν. καὶ ἔμοιγε εἴη μηδὲν μὲν τοιοῦτο σφάλλεσθαι, εἰ δὲ συμβαίη, πρὸς εὐφημίαν αὐτὸ τρέπεσθαι.

[¶17] 18. Indeed they say that something like this happened to the first Augustus. It happened that he had decided a certain case correctly and acquitted a defendant who had been unjustly prosecuted on a most serious charge. The man acknowledged his gratitude in a loud voice: “Thank you, Emperor, for your bad and unjust judgment!” Augustus’s courtiers were furious and would have torn him to pieces, but the emperor said, “Calm your anger. It is his meaning, not his words, that you must consider.” That was his answer, but if you look at my meaning, the intention, you’ll see, was good; if at my words, they too were auspicious.

> Greek: 18. Ἐπὶ γοῦν τοῦ πρώτου Σεβαστοῦ καὶ τοιόνδε τι λέγεται γενέσθαι· ὁ μὲν ἔτυχε δίκην τινὰ δικάσας ὀρθῶς καὶ ἀπολύσας ἐγκλήματος τοῦ μεγίστου ἀδίκως συκοφαντούμενον ἄνθρωπον, ὁ δὲ χάριν ὁμολογῶν μεγάλῃ τῇ φωνῇ, Χάριν οἶδά σοι, ἔφη, ὦ αὐτοκράτορ, ὅτι κακῶς καὶ ἀδίκως ἐδίκασας· καὶ τῶν περὶ Σεβαστὸν ἀγανακτησάντων καὶ διασπάσασθαι τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἐθελόντων, Παύσασθε χαλεπαίνοντες, ἐκεῖνος ἔφη· οὐ γὰρ τὴν γλῶτταν αὐτοῦ, ἀλλὰ τὴν γνώμην ἐξετάζειν ἄξιον. ἐκεῖνος μὲν οὕτως, σὺ δ’ εἴτε τὴν γνώμην σκέψαιο, πάνυ εὔνουν εὑρήσεις, εἴτε τὴν γλῶτταν, εὔφημος καὶ αὐτή.

[¶18] 19. Having now reached this point, I think I may reasonably be afraid of something else: some may think the slip deliberate, a pretext for writing this defence. May my composition, dearest Asclepius, be such that all may see it as a starting point of a display, not as a defence.

> Greek: 19. Ἔοικα δ’ ἐνταῦθα ἤδη γενόμενος εἰκότως ἄλλο τι φοβήσεσθαι, μή τισι δόξω ἐξεπίτηδες ἡμαρτηκέναι, ὡς τὴν ἀπολογίαν ταύτην συγγράψαιμι. καὶ εἴη γε, ὦ φίλτατε Ἀσκληπιέ, τοιοῦτον φανῆναι τὸν λόγον, ὡς μὴ ἀπολογίαν, ἀλλ’ ἐπιδείξεως ἀφορμὴν εἶναι δοκεῖν.