---
title: "Demonax · Δημώνακτος Βίος"
author: "Lucian"
translator: "Henry Watson Fowler"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Classical Greek"
section: 1 of 1
url: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-demonax/1/
cite: "Lucian, tr. Henry Watson Fowler, Demonax · Δημώνακτος Βίος, section 1. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-demonax/1/"
---

# Demonax · Δημώνακτος Βίος

*Lucian, tr. Henry Watson Fowler*

The life and sayings of a cheerful Cynic philosopher of Athens whom Lucian knew.

> Greek: ed. Austin Morris Harmon, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0062.tlg008, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Watson Fowler, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0062.tlg008.perseus-eng4). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 1. Sections 1–67

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-demonax/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-demonax/1/#p-N

[¶0] 1. It was in the book of Fate that even this age of ours should not be destitute entirely of noteworthy and memorable men, but produce a body of extraordinary power, and a mind of surpassing wisdom. My allusions are to Sostratus the Boeotian, whom the Greeks called, and believed to be, Heracles; and more particularly to the philosopher Demonax. I saw and marvelled at both of them, and with the latter I long consorted. Ihave written of Sostratus elsewhere, and described his stature and enormous strength, his open-air life on Parnassus, sleeping on the grass and eating what the mountain afforded, the exploits that bore out his surname—robbers exterminated, rough places made smooth, and deep waters bridged.

> Greek: 1. Ἔμελλεν ἄρα μηδὲ ὁ καθʼ ἡμᾶς βίος τὸ παντάπασιν ἄμοιρος ἔσεσθαι ἀνδρῶν λόγου καὶ μνήμης ἀξίων, ἀλλὰ καὶ σώματος ἀρετὴν ὑπερφυᾶ καὶ γνώμην ἄκρως φιλόσοφον ἐκφαίνειν· λέγω δὲ εἴς τε τὸν Βοιώτιον Σώστρατον ἀναφέρων, ὃν Ἡρακλέα οἱ Ἕλληνες ἐκάλουν καὶ ᾤοντο εἶναι, καὶ μάλιστα εἰς Δημώνακτα τὸν φιλόσοφον, οὓς καὶ εἶδον αὐτὸς καὶ ἰδὼν ἐθαύμασα, θατέρῳ δὲ τῷ Δημώνακτι καὶ ἐπὶ μήκιστον συνεγενόμην. περὶ μὲν οὖν Σωστράτου ἐν ἄλλῳ βιβλίῳ γέγραπταί μοι καὶ δεδήλωται μέγεθός τε αὐτοῦ καὶ ἰσχύος ὑπερβολὴ καὶ ἡ ὕπαιθρος ἐν τῷ Παρνασσῷ δίαιτα καὶ ἡ ἐπίπονος εὐνὴ καὶ τροφαὶ ὄρειοι καὶ ἔργα οὐκ ἀπῳδὰ τοῦ ὀνόματος ὅσα ἢ λῃστὰς αἴρων ἔπραξεν ἢ ὁδοποιῶν τὰ ἄβατα ἢ γεφυρῶν τὰ δύσπορα.

[¶1] 2. This time I am to write of Demonax, with two sufficient ends in view: first, to keep his memory green among good men, as far as in me lies; and secondly, to provide the most earnest of our rising generation, who aspire to philosophy, with a contemporary pattern, that they may not be forced back upon the ancients for worthy models, but imitate this best—if I am any judge—of all philosophers.

> Greek: 2. περὶ δὲ Δημώνακτος ἤδη δίκαιον λέγειν ἀμφοῖν ἕνεκα, ὡς ἐκεῖνος τε διὰ μνήμης εἴη τοῖς ἀρίστοις τό γε κατʼ ἐμὲ καὶ οἱ γενναιότατοι τῶν νέων καὶ πρὸς φιλοσοφίαν ὁρμῶντες ἔχοιεν μὴ πρὸς τὰ ἀρχαῖα μόνα τῶν παραδειγμάτων σφᾶς αὐτοὺς ῥυθμίζειν, ἀλλὰ κἀκ τοῦ ἡμετέρου βίου κανόνα προτίθεσαι καὶ ζηλοῦν ἐκεῖνον ἄριστον ὧν οἶδα ἐγὼ φιλοσόφων γενόμενον.

[¶2] 3. He came of a Cyprian family which enjoyed considerable property and political influence. But his views soared above such things as these; he claimed nothing less than the highest, and devoted himself to philosophy. This was not due to any exhortations of Agathobulus, his predecessor Demetrius, or Epictetus. He did indeed enjoy the converse of all these, as well as of Timocrates of Heraclea, that wise man whose gifts of expression and of understanding were equal. It was not, however, to the exhortations of any of these, but to a natural impulse towards the good, an innate yearning for philosophy which manifested itself in childish years, that he owed his superiority to all the things that ordinary men pursue. He took independence and candour for his guiding principles, lived himself an upright, wholesome, irreproachable life, and exhibited to -all who saw or heard him the model of his own disposition and philosophic sincerity.

> Greek: 3. ἦν δὲ τὸ μὲν γένος Κύπριος, οὐ τῶν ἀφανῶν ὅσα εἰς ἀξίωμα πολιτικὸν καὶ κτῆσιν. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ πάντων τούτων ὑπεράνω γενόμενος καὶ ἀξιώσας ἑαυτὸν τῶν καλλίστων πρὸς φιλοσοφίαν ὥρμησεν οὐκ Ἀγαθοβούλου μὰ Δίʼ οὐδὲ Δημητρίου πρὸ αὐτοῦ οὐδὲ Ἐπικτήτου ἐπεγειράντων, ἀλλὰ πᾶσι μὲν συνεγένετο τούτοις καὶ ἔτι Τιμοκράτει τῷ Ἡρακλεώτῃ σοφῷ ἀνδρὶ φωνήν τε καὶ γνώμην μάλιστα κεκοσμημένῳ· ἀλλʼ ὅ γε Δημῶναξ οὐχ ὑπὸ τούτων τινός, ὡς ἔφην, παρακληθείς, ἀλλʼ ὑπʼ οἰκείας πρὸς τὰ καλὰ ὁρμῆς καὶ ἐμφύτου πρὸς φιλοσοφίαν ἔρωτος ἐκ παίδων εὐθὺς κεκινημένος ὑπερεῖδεν μὲν τῶν ἀνθρωπείων ἀγαθῶν ἁπάντων, ὅλον δὲ παραδοὺς ἑαυτὸν ἐλευθερίᾳ καὶ παρρησίᾳ διετέλεσεν αὐτός τε ὀρθῷ καὶ ὑγιεῖ καὶ ἀνεπιλήπτῳ βίῳ χρώμενος καὶ τοῖς ὁρῶσι καὶ ἀκούουσι παράδειγμα παρέχων τὴν ἑαυτοῦ γνώμην καὶ τὴν ἐν τῷ φιλοσοφεῖν ἀλήθειαν.

[¶3] 4. He was no half-baked enthusiast either; he had lived with the poets, and knew most of them by heart; he was a practised speaker; he had a knowledge of philosophic principles not of the superficial skin-deep order; he had developed and hardened his body by exercise and toil, and, in short, had been at the pains to make himself every man’s equal at every point. He was consistent enough, when he found that he could no longer suffice to himself, to depart voluntarily from life, leaving a great reputation behind him among the true nobility of Greece.

> Greek: 4. οὐ μὴν ἀνίπτοις γε ποσίν, τὸ τοῦ λόγου, πρὸς ταῦτα ᾖξεν, ἀλλὰ καὶ ποιηταῖς σύντροφος ἐγένετο καὶ τῶν πλείστων ἐμέμνητο καὶ λέγειν ἤσκητο καὶ τὰς ἐν φιλοσοφίᾳ προαιρέσεις οὐκ ἐπʼ ὀλίγον οὐδὲ κατὰ τὴν παροιμίαν ἄκρῳ τῷ δακτύλῳ ἁψάμενος ἠπίστατο, καὶ τὸ σῶμα δὲ ἐγεγύμναστο καὶ πρὸς καρτερίαν διεπεπόνητο, καὶ τὸ ὅλον ἐμεμελήκει αὐτῷ μηδενὸς ἄλλου προσδεᾶ εἶναι· ὥστε ἐπεὶ καὶ ἔμαθεν οὐκέτι ἑαυτῷ διαρκῶν, ἑκὼν ἀπῆλθε τοῦ βίου πολὺν ὑπὲρ αὑτοῦ λόγον τοῖς ἀρίστοις τῶν Ἑλλήνων καταλιπών.

[¶4] 5. Instead of confining himself to a single philosophic school, he laid them all under contribution, without showing clearly which of them he preferred; but perhaps he was nearest akin to Socrates; for, though he had leanings as regards externals and plain living to Diogenes, he never studied effect or lived for the applause and admiration of the multitude; his ways were like other people’s; he mounted no high horse; he was just a man and a citizen. He indulged in no Socratic irony; but his discourse was full of Attic grace; those who heard it went away neither disgusted by servility nor repelled by ill-tempered censure, but on the contrary lifted out of themselves by charity, and encouraged to more orderly, contented, hopeful lives.

> Greek: 5. φιλοσοφίας δὲ εἶδος οὐχ ἓν ἀποτεμόμενος, ἀλλὰ πολλὰς ἐς ταὐτὸ καταμίξας οὐ πάνυ τι ἐξέφαινε τίνι αὐτῶν ἔχαιρεν· ἐῴκει δὲ τῷ Σωκράτει μᾶλλον ᾠκειῶσθαι, εἰ καὶ τῷ σχήματι καὶ τῇ τοῦ βίου ῥᾳστώνῃ τὸν Σινωπέα ζηλοῦν ἔδοξεν, οὐ παραχαράττων τὰ εἰς τὴν δίαιταν, ὡς θαυμάζοιτο καὶ ἀποβλέποιτο ὑπὸ τῶν ἐντυγχανόντων, ἀλλʼ ὁμοδίαιτος ἅπασι καὶ πεζὸς ὢν καὶ οὐδʼ ἐπʼ ὀλίγον τύφῳ κάτοχος συνῆν καὶ συνεπολιτεύετο, τὴν μὲν τοῦ Σωκράτους εἰρωνείαν οὐ προσιέμενος, χάριτος δὲ Ἀττικῆς μεστὰς ἀποφαίνων τὰς συνουσίας, ὡς τοὺς προσομιλήσαντας ἀπιέναι μήτε καταφρονήσαντας ὡς ἀγεννοῦς μήτε τὸ σκυθρωπὸν τῶν ἐπιτιμήσεων ἀποφεύγοντας, παντοίους δὲ ὑπʼ εὐφροσύνης γενομένους καὶ κοσμιωτέρους παρὰ πολὺ καὶ φαιδροτέρους καὶ πρὸς τὸ μέλλον εὐέλπιδας.

[¶5] 7. He was never known to shout or be over vehement or angry, even when he had to correct; he touched offences, but pardoned offenders, saying that the doctors’ was the right model, who treat sickness but are not angry with the sick. It is human, he thought, to err, but divine (whether in God or man) to put the error right.

> Greek: 7. οὐδεπώποτε γοῦν ὤφθη κεκραγὼς ἢ ὑπερδιατεινόμενος ἢ ἀγανακτῶν, οὐδʼ εἰ ἐπιτιμᾶν τῳ δέοι, ἀλλὰ τῶν μὲν ἁμαρτημάτων καθήπτετο, τοῖς δὲ ἁμαρτάνουσι συνεγίνωσκεν, καὶ τὸ παράδειγμα παρὰ τῶν ἰατρῶν ἠξίου λαμβάνειν τὰ μὲν νοσήματα ἰωμένων, ὀργῇ δὲ πρὸς τοὺς νοσοῦντας οὐ χρωμένων· ἡγεῖτο γὰρ ἀνθρώπου μὲν εἶναι τὸ ἁμαρτάνειν, θεοῦ δὲ ἢ ἀνδρὸς ἰσοθέου τὰ πταισθέντα ἐπανορθοῦν.

[¶6] 8. A life of this sort left him without wants of his own; but he was always ready to render any proper service to his friends— including reminders to those among them who passed for fortunate, how brief was their tenure of what they so prided themselvesupon. To all, on the other hand, who repined at poverty, resented exile, or complained of old age or bad health, he administered laughing consolation, and bade them not forget how soon their troubles would be over, the distinction between good and bad be obsolete, and long freedom succeed to shortlived distress.

> Greek: 8. τοιούτῳ δὴ βίῳ χρώμενος εἰς ἑαυτὸν μὲν οὐδενὸς ἐδεῖτο, φίλοις δὲ συνέπραττε τὰ εἰκότα, καὶ τοὺς μὲν εὐτυχεῖν δοκοῦντας αὐτῶν ὑπεμίμνησκεν ὡς ἐπʼ ὀλιγοχρονίοις τοῖς δοκοῦσιν ἀγαθοῖς ἐπαιρομένους, τοὺς δὲ ἢ πενίαν ὀδυρομένους ἢ φυγὴν δυσχεραίνοντας ἢ γῆρας ἢ νόσον αἰτιωμένους σὺν γέλωτι παρεμυθεῖτο, οὐχ ὁρῶντας ὅτι μετὰ μικρὸν αὐτοῖς παύσεται μὲν τὰ ἀνιῶντα, λήθη δέ τις ἀγαθῶν καὶ κακῶν καὶ ἐλευθερία μακρὰ πάντας ἐν ὀλίγῳ καταλήψεται.

[¶7] 9. He was fond of playing peace-maker between brothers at variance, or presiding over the restoration of marital harmony. He could say a word in season, too, before an agitated political assembly, which would turn the scale in favour of patriotic duty. Such was the temper that philosophy produced in him, kindly, mild, and cheerful.

> Greek: 9. ἔμελεν δὲ αὐτῷ καὶ ἀδελφοὺς στασιάζοντας διαλλάττειν καὶ γυναιξὶ πρὸς τοὺς γεγαμηκότας εἰρήνην πρυτανεύειν· καί που καὶ δήμοις ταραττομένοις ἐμμελῶς διελέχθη καὶ τοὺς πλείστους αὐτῶν ἔπεισεν ὑπουργεῖν τῇ πατρίδι τὰ μέτρια. τοιοῦτός τις ἦν ὁ τρόπος τῆς φιλοσοφίας αὐτοῦ, πρᾶος καὶ ἥμερος καὶ φαιδρός·

[¶8] 10. Nothing ever grieved him except the illness or death of a friend, friendship being the one among blessings that he put highest; and indeed he was every man’s friend, counting among his kindred whatever had human shape. Not that there were no degrees in the pleasure different people’s society gave him; but he avoided none, except those who seemed so far astray that they could get no good from him. And every word or act in which these principles took shape might have been dictated by the Graces and Aphrodite; for ‘on his lips Persuasion sat,’ as the play has it.

> Greek: 10. μόνον αὐτὸν ἠνία φίλου νόσος ἢ θάνατος, ὡς ἂν καὶ τὸ μέγιστον τῶν ἐν ἀνθρώποις ἀγαθῶν τὴν φιλίαν ἡγούμενον. καὶ διὰ τοῦτο φίλος μὲν ἦν ἅπασι καὶ οὐκ ἔστιν ὅντινα οὐκ οἰκεῖον ἐνόμιζεν, ἄνθρωπόν γε ὄντα, πλέον δὲ ἢ ἔλαττον ἔχαιρε συνὼν ἐνίοις αὐτῶν, μόνοις ἐξιστάμενος ὁπόσοι ἂν ἐδόκουν αὐτῷ ὑπὲρ τὴν τῆς θεραπείας ἐλπίδα διαμαρτάνειν. καὶ πάντα ταῦτα μετὰ Χαρίτων καὶ Ἀφροδίτης αὐτῆς ἔπραττέν τε καὶ ἔλεγεν, ὡς ἀεί, τὸ κωμικὸν ἐκεῖνο, τὴν πειθὼ τοῖς χείλεσιν αὐτοῦ ἐπικαθῆσθαι.

[¶9] 11. Accordingly he was regarded with reverence at Athens, both by the collective assembly and by the officials; he always continued to be a person of great consequence in their eves. And this though most of them had been at first offended with him, and hated him as heartily as their ancestors had Socrates. Besides his candour and independence, there had been found Anytuses and Meletuses to repeat the historic charges: he bad never been known to sacrifice, and be made himself singular by - avoiding initiation at Eleusis. On this occasion he showed his courage by appearing in a garland and festal attire, and then pleading his cause before the people with a dash of unwonted asperity infused into his ordinary moderate tone. On the count of never having sacrificed to Athene, ‘Men of Athens,’ he said, ‘there is nothing wonderful in this; it was only that I gave the Goddess credit for being able to do very well without sacrifices from me.’ And in the matter of the Mysteries, his reason for not following the usual practice was this: if the Mysteries turned out to be bad, he would never be able to keep quiet about it to the uninitiated, but must dissuade them from the ceremony; while, if they were good, humanity would tempt him to divulge them. The Athenians, stone in hand already, were at once disarmed, and from that time onwards paid him honour and respect, which ultimately rose to reverence. Yet he had opened his case with a bitter enough reproof: ‘Men of Athens, you see me ready garlanded; proceed to sacrifice me, then; your former offering was deficient in this formality.’

> Greek: 11. τοιγαροῦν καὶ Ἀθηναίων ὅ τε σύμπας δῆμος καὶ οἱ ἐν τέλει ὑπερφυῶς ἐθαύμαζον αὐτὸν καὶ διετέλουν ὥς τινα τῶν κρειττόνων προσβλέποντες. καίτοι ἐν ἀρχῇ προσέκρουε τοῖς πολλοῖς αὐτῶν καὶ μῖσος οὐ μεῖον τοῦ πρὸ αὑτοῦ παρὰ τοῖς πλήθεσιν ἐκτήσατο ἐπί τε τῇ παρρησίᾳ καὶ ἐλευθερίᾳ, καί τινες ἐπʼ αὐτὸν συνέστησαν Ἄνυτοι καὶ Μέλητοι τὰ αὐτὰ κατηγοροῦντες ἅπερ κἀκείνου οἱ τότε, ὅτι οὔτε θύων ὤφθη πώποτε οὔτε ἐμυήθη μόνος ἁπάντων ταῖς Ἐλευσινίαις· πρὸς ἅπερ ἀνδρείως μάλα στεφανωσάμενος καὶ καθαρὸν ἱμάτιον ἀναλαβὼν καὶ παρελθὼν εἰς τὴν ἐκκλησίαν τὰ μὲν ἐμμελῶς, τὰ δὲ καὶ τραχύτερον ἢ κατὰ τὴν ἑαυτοῦ προαίρεσιν ἀπελογήσατο· πρὸς μὲν γὰρ τὸ μὴ τεθυκέναι πώποτε τῇ Ἀθηνᾷ, Μὴ θαυμάσητε, ἔφη, ὦ ἄνδρες Ἀθηναῖοι, εἰ μὴ πρότερον αὐτῇ ἔθυσα, οὐδὲν γὰρ δεῖσθαι αὐτὴν τῶν παρʼ ἐμοῦ θυσιῶν ὑπελάμβανον. πρὸς δὲ θάτερον, τὸ τῶν μυστηρίων, ταύτην ἔφη ἔχειν αἰτίαν τοῦ μὴ κοινωνῆσαι σφίσι τῆς τελετῆς, ὅτι, ἄν τε φαῦλα ᾖ τὰ μυστήρια, οὐ σιωπήσεται πρὸς τοὺς μηδέπω μεμυημένους, ἀλλʼ ἀποτρέψει αὐτοὺς τῶν ὀργίων, ἄν τε καλά, πᾶσιν αὐτὰ ἐξαγορεύσει ὑπὸ φιλανθρωπίας· ὥστε τοὺς Ἀθηναίους ἤδη λίθους ἐπʼ αὐτὸν ἐν ταῖν χεροῖν ἔχοντας πράους αὐτῷ καὶ ἵλεως γενέσθαι αὐτίκα καὶ τὸ ἀπʼ ἐκείνου ἀρξαμένους τιμᾶν καὶ αἰδεῖσθαι καὶ τὰ τελευταῖα θαυμάζειν, καίτοι εὐθὺς ἐν ἀρχῇ τῶν πρὸς αὐτοὺς λόγων τραχυτέρῳ ἐχρήσατο τῷ προοιμίῳ· ἄνδρες γὰρ ἔφη Ἀθηναῖοι, ἐμὲ μὲν ὁρῶντες ἐστεφανωμένον ὑμεῖς ἤδη κἀμὲ καταθύσατε, τὸ γὰρ πρότερον οὐκ ἐκαλλιερήσατε.

[¶10] 12. I will now give some specimens of his pointed and witty sayings, which may begin with his answers to Favorinus. The latter had heard that he made fun of his lectures, and in particular of the sentimental verses with which they were garnished, and which Demonax thought contemptible, womanish, and quite. unsuited to philosophy. So he came and asked him: ‘Who, pray, are you, that you should pour scorn upon me?’ ‘I am the possessor of a critical pair of ears,’ was the answer. The sophist had not had enough; ‘You are no infant,’ he went on,. ‘but a philosopher, it seems; may one ask what marks the transformation?’ ‘The marks of manhood,’ said Demonax.

> Greek: 12. βούλομαι δὲ ἔνια παραθέσθαι τῶν εὐστόχως τε ἅμα καὶ ἀστείως ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ λελεγμένων· ἄρξασθαι δὲ ἀπὸ Φαβωρίνου καλὸν καὶ ὧν πρὸς ἐκεῖνον εἶπεν. ἐπεὶ γὰρ ὁ Φαβωρῖνος ἀκούσας τινὸς ὡς ἐν γέλωτι ποιοῖτο τὰς ὁμιλίας αὐτοῦ καὶ μάλιστα τῶν ἐν αὐταῖς μελῶν τὸ ἐπικεκλασμένον σφόδρα ὡς ἀγεννὲς καὶ γυναικεῖον καὶ φιλοσοφίᾳ ἥκιστα πρέπον, προσελθὼν ἠρώτα τὸν Δημώνακτα, τίς ὢν χλευάζοι τὰ αὐτοῦ· ἄνθρωπος, ἔφη, οὐκ εὐαπάτητα ἔχων τὰ ὦτα. ἐγκειμένου δὲ τοῦ σοφιστοῦ καὶ ἐρωτῶντος, τίνα δὲ καὶ ἐφόδια ἔχων, ὦ Δημῶναξ, ἐκ παιδείας εἰς φιλοσοφίαν ἥκεις; ὄρχεις, ἔφη.

[¶11] 13. Another time the same person came up and asked him what school of philosophy he belonged to. ‘Who told you I was a philosopher?’ was all he said. But as he left him, he had a good laugh to himself, which Favorinus observing, demanded what he was laughing at; ‘I was only amused by your taking a man for a philosopher because he wears a beard, when you have none yourself.’

> Greek: 13. ἄλλοτε δέ ποτε ὁ αὐτὸς προσελθὼν ἠρώτα τὸν Δημώνακτα, τίνα αἵρεσιν ἀσπάζεται μᾶλλον ἐν φιλοσοφίᾳ· ὁ δέ, Τίς γάρ σοι εἶπεν ὅτι φιλοσοφῶ; καὶ ἀπιὼν ἤδη παρʼ αὐτοῦ μάλα ἡδὺ ἐγέλασεν· τοῦ δὲ ἐρωτήσαντος, ἐφʼ ὅτῳ γελᾷ, ἐκεῖνος ἔφη, Γελοῖόν μοι εἶναι ἔδοξεν, εἰ σὺ ἀπὸ τοῦ πώγωνος ἀξιοῖς κρίνεσθαι τοὺς φιλοσοφοῦντας αὐτὸς πώγωνα οὐκ ἔχων.

[¶12] 14. When Sidonius, who had a great reputation at Athens as a teacher, was boasting that he was conversant with all the philosophic systems—but I had better quote his words. ‘Let Aristotle call, and I follow to the Lyceum; Plato, and I hurry to the Academy; Zeno, and I make my home in the Porch; Pythagoras, and I keep the rule of silence.’ Then rose Demonax from among the audience: ‘Sidonius, Pythagoras calls.’

> Greek: 14. τοῦ δὲ Σιδωνίου ποτὲ σοφιστοῦ Ἀθήνησιν εὐδοκιμοῦντος καὶ λέγοντος ὑπὲρ αὑτοῦ ἔπαινόν τινα τοιοῦτον, ὅτι πάσης φιλοσοφίας πεπείραται — οὐ χεῖρον δὲ αὐτὰ εἰπεῖν ἃ ἔλεγεν· Ἐὰν Ἀριστοτέλης με καλῇ ἐπὶ τὸ Λύκειον, ἕψομαι· ἂν Πλάτων ἐπὶ τὴν Ἀκαδημίαν, ἀφίξομαι· ἂν Ζήνων, ἐν τῇ Ποικίλῃ διατρίψω· ἂν Πυθαγόρας καλῇ, σιωπήσομαι. ἀναστὰς οὖν ἐκ μέσων τῶν ἀκροωμένων, Οὗτος, ἔφη προσειπὼν τὸ ὄνομα, καλεῖ σε Πυθαγόρας.

[¶13] 15. A pretty girlish young man called Python, son of some Macedonian grandee, once by way of quizzing him asked a riddling question and invited him to show his acumen over it. ‘I only see one thing, dear child,’ he said, ‘and that is, that you are a fair logician.’ The other lost his temper at this equivoque, and threatened him: ‘You shall see in a minute what a man can do.’ ‘Oh, you keep a man, do you?’ was Demonax’s smiling retort.

> Greek: 15. Πύθωνος δέ τινος τῶν ἐν Μακεδονίᾳ εὐπαρύφων νεανίσκου ὡραίου ἐρεσχηλοῦντος αὐτὸν καὶ προτείνοντος ἐρώτημά τι σοφιστικὸν καὶ κελεύοντος εἰπεῖν τοῦ συλλογισμοῦ τὴν λύσιν, Ἕν, ἔφη, οἶδα, τέκνον, ὅτι περαίνει. ἀγανακτήσαντος δὲ ἐκείνου ἐπὶ τῷ τῆς ἀμφιβολίας σκώμματι καὶ συναπειλήσαντος, Αὐτίκα σοι μάλα τὸν ἄνδρα δείξω, ὁ δὲ σὺν γέλωτι ἠρώτησεν, Καὶ γὰρ ἄνδρα ἔχεις;

[¶14] 16. He once, for daring to laugh at an athlete who displayed himself in gay clothes because he had won an Olympic victory, received a blow on the head with a stone, which drew blood. The bystanders were all as angry as if they had themselves been the victims, and set up a shout—' The Proconsul! the Proconsul!’ ‘Thank you, gentlemen,’ said Demonax, ‘but I should prefer the doctor.’

> Greek: 16. ἐπεὶ δέ τις ἀθλητὴς καταγελασθεὶς ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ, ὅτι ἐσθῆτα ὤφθη ἀνθινὴν ἀμπεχόμενος Ὀλυμπιονίκης ὤν, ἐπάταξεν αὐτὸν εἰς τὴν κεφαλὴν λίθῳ καὶ αἷμα ἐρρύη, οἱ μὲν παρόντες ἠγανάκτουν ὡς αὐτὸς ἕκαστος τετυπτημένος καὶ ἐβόων πρὸς τὸν ἀνθύπατον ἰέναι, ὁ δὲ Δημῶναξ, Μηδαμῶς, ἔφη, ὦ ἄνδρες, πρὸς τὸν ἀνθύπατον, ἀλλʼ ἐπὶ τὸν ἰατρόν.

[¶15] 17. He once picked up a little gold charm in the road as he walked, and posted a notice in the market-place stating that the loser could recover his property, if he would call upon Demonax and give particulars of the weight, material, and workmanship. A handsome young exquisite came, professing to have lost it. The philosopher soon saw that it was a got-up story; ‘Ah, my boy,’ he said, ‘you will do very well, if you lose your other charms as little as you have lost this one.’

> Greek: 17. ἐπεὶ δέ ποτε καὶ χρυσοῦν δακτύλιον ὁδῷ βαδίζων εὗρεν, γραμματεῖον ἐν ἀγορᾷ προθεὶς ἠξίου τὸν ἀπολέσαντα, ὅστις εἴη τοῦ δακτυλίου δεσπότης, ἥκειν καὶ εἰπόντα ὁλκὴν αὐτοῦ καὶ λίθον καὶ τύπον ἀπολαμβάνειν· ἧκεν οὖν τις μειρακίσκος ὡραῖος αὐτὸς ἀπολωλεκέναι λέγων. ἐπεὶ δὲ οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς ἔλεγεν, Ἄπιθι, ἔφη, ὦ παῖ, καὶ τὸν ἑαυτοῦ δακτύλιον φύλαττε, τοῦτον γὰρ οὐκ ἀπολώλεκας.

[¶16] 18. A Roman senator at Athens once presented his son, who had great beauty of a soft womanish type. ‘My son salutes you, sir,’ he said. To which Demonax answered, ‘A pretty lad, worthy of his father, and extremely like his mother.’

> Greek: 18. τῶν δὲ ἀπὸ τῆς Ῥωμαίων βουλῆς τις Ἀθήνησιν υἱὸν αὐτῷ δείξας πάνυ ὡραῖον, θηλυδρίαν δὲ καὶ διακεκλασμένον, Προσαγορεύει σε, ἔφη, ὁ ἐμὸς υἱὸς οὑτοσί, καὶ ὁ Δημῶναξ, Καλός, ἔφη, καὶ σοῦ ἄξιος καὶ τῇ μητρὶ ὅμοιος.

[¶17] 19. A cynic who emphasized his principles by wearing a bear’s skin he insisted on addressing not by his name of Honoratus, but as Bruin.

> Greek: 19. τὸν δὲ Κυνικὸν τὸν ἐν ἄρκτου δέρματι φιλοσοφοῦντα οὐχ Ὁνωρᾶτον, ὥσπερ ὠνομάζετο, ἀλλʼ Ἀρκεσίλαον καλεῖν ἠξίου.

[¶18] 20. Asked for a definition of Happiness, he said that only the free was happy. ‘Well,’ said the questioner, ‘there is no lack of free men.’ — ‘I count no man free who is subject to hopes and fears.’—' You ask impossibilities; of these two we are all very much the slaves.’ ‘Once grasp the nature of human affairs,’ said Demonax, ‘and you will find that they justify neither hope nor fear, since both pain and pleasure are to have an end.’ Peregrine Proteus was shocked at his taking things so lightly, and treating mankind as a subject for humour:

> Greek: 20. ἐρωτήσαντος δέ τινος, τίς αὐτῷ ὅρος εὐδαιμονίας εἶναι δοκεῖ, μόνον εὐδαίμονα ἔφη τὸν ἐλεύθερον· ἐκείνου δὲ φήσαντος πολλοὺς ἐλευθέρους εἶναι, ἀλλʼ ἐκεῖνον νομίζω τὸν μήτε ἐλπίζοντά τι μήτε δεδιότα· ὁ δέ, Καὶ πῶς ἄν, ἔφη, τοῦτό τις δύναιτο; ἅπαντες γὰρ ὡς τὸ πολὺ τούτοις δεδουλώμεθα. καὶ μὴν εἰ κατανοήσεις τὰ τῶν ἀνθρώπων πράγματα, εὕροις ἂν αὐτὰ οὔτε ἐλπίδος οὔτε φόβου ἄξια, παυσομένων πάντως καὶ τῶν ἀνιαρῶν καὶ τῶν ἡδέων.

[¶19] 21. ‘You have no teeth, Demonax.’ ‘And you, Peregrine, have no bowels.’ A physical philosopher was discoursing about the antipodes; Demonax took his hand, and led him to a well, in which he showed him his own reflection: ‘Do you want us to believe that the antipodes are like that?’

> Greek: 21. Περεγρίνου δὲ τοῦ Πρωτέως ἐπιτιμῶντος αὐτῷ, ὅτι ἐγέλα τὰ πολλὰ καὶ τοῖς ἀνθρώποις προσέπαιζε, καὶ λέγοντος, Δημῶναξ, οὐ κυνᾷς, ἀπεκρίνατο, Περεγρῖνε, οὐκ ἀνθρωπίζεις. καὶ μὴν καὶ φυσικόν τινα περὶ τῶν ἀντιπόδων διαλεγόμενον ἀναστήσας καὶ ἐπὶ φρέαρ ἀγαγὼν καὶ δείξας αὐτῷ τὴν ἐν τῷ ὕδατι σκιὰν ἤρετο, Τοιούτους ἄρα τοὺς ἀντίποδας εἶναι λέγεις;

[¶20] 23. A man once boasted that he was a wizard, and possessed of mighty charms whereby he could get what he chose out-of anybody. ‘Will it surprise you to learn that I am a fellow-craftsman?' asked Demonax; ‘pray come with me to the baker’s, and you shall see a single charm, just one wave of my magic wand, induce him to bestow several loaves upon me.’ Current coin, he meant, is as good a magician as most.

> Greek: 23. ἀλλὰ καὶ μάγου τινὸς εἶναι λέγοντος καὶ ἐπῳδὰς ἔχειν ἰσχυράς, ὡς ὑπʼ αὐτῶν ἅπαντας ἀναπεισθῆναι παρέχειν αὐτῷ ὁπόσα βούλεται, Μὴ θαύμαζε, ἔφη· καὶ γὰρ αὐτὸς ὁμότεχνός εἰμί σοι, καὶ εἰ βούλει, ἕπου πρὸς τὴν ἀρτόπωλιν καὶ ὄψει με διὰ μιᾶς ἐπῳδῆς καὶ μικροῦ τοῦ φαρμάκου πείθοντα αὐτὴν δοῦναί μοι τῶν ἄρτων, αἰνιττόμενος τὸ νόμισμα ὡς τὰ ἴσα τῇ ἐπῳδῇ δυνάμενον.

[¶21] 24. The great Herodes, mourning the untimely death of Pollux, used to have the carriage and horses got ready, and the place laid at table, as though the dead were going to drive and eat. To him came Demonax, saying that he brought a message from Pollux. Herodes, delighted with the idea that Demonax was humouring his whim like other people, asked what it was that Pollux required of him. ‘He cannot think why you are so long coming to him.’

> Greek: 24. ἐπεὶ δὲ Ἡρῴδης ὁ πάνυ ἐπένθει τὸν Πολυδεύκη πρὸ ὥρας ἀποθανόντα καὶ ἠξίου ὄχημα ζεύγνυσθαι αὐτῷ καὶ ἵππους παρίστασθαι ὡς ἀναβησομένῳ καὶ δεῖπνον παρασκευάζεσθαι, προσελθών, Παρὰ Πολυδεύκους, ἔφη, κομίζω σοί τινα ἐπιστολήν. ἡσθέντος δὲ ἐκείνου καὶ οἰηθέντος ὅτι κατὰ τὸ κοινὸν καὶ αὐτὸς τοῖς ἄλλοις συντρέχει τῷ πάθει αὐτοῦ, καὶ εἰπόντος, Τί οὖν, ὦ Δημῶναξ, Πολυδεύκης ἀξιοῖ; αἰτιᾶταί σε, ἔφη, ὅτι μὴ ἤδη πρὸς αὐτὸν ἄπει.

[¶22] 25. When another person kept himself shut up in the dark, mourning his son, Demonax represented himself to him as a magician: he would call up the son’s ghost, the only condition being that he should be given the names of three people who had never had to mourn. The father hum’d and ha’d, unable, doubtless, to produce any such person, till Demonax broke in: ‘And have you, then, a monopoly of the unendurable, when you cannot name a man who has not some grief to endure?”

> Greek: 25. ὁ δʼ αὐτὸς υἱὸν πενθοῦντι καὶ ἐν σκότῳ ἑαυτὸν καθείρξαντι προσελθὼν ἔλεγεν μάγος τε εἶναι καὶ δύνασθαι αὐτῷ ἀναγαγεῖν τοῦ παιδὸς τὸ εἴδωλον, εἰ μόνον αὐτῷ τρεῖς τινας ἀνθρώπους ὀνομάσειε μηδένα πώποτε πεπενθηκότας· ἐπὶ πολὺ δὲ ἐκείνου ἐνδοιάσαντος καὶ ἀποροῦντος — οὐ γὰρ εἶχέν τινα, οἶμαι, εἰπεῖν τοιοῦτον — εἶτʼ, ἔφη, ὦ γελοῖε, μόνος ἀφόρητα πάσχειν νομίζεις μηδένα ὁρῶν πένθους ἄμοιρον;

[¶23] 26. He often ridiculed the people who use obsolete and uncommon words in their lectures. One of these produced a bit of Attic purism in answer to some question he had put. ‘My dear sir,’ he said, ‘the date of my question is to-day; that of your answer is temp. Bell. Troj.'

> Greek: 26. καὶ μὴν κἀκείνων καταγελᾶν ἠξίου τῶν ἐν ταῖς ὁμιλίαις πάνυ ἀρχαίοις καὶ ξένοις ὀνόμασι χρωμένων· ἑνὶ γοῦν ἐρωτηθέντι ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ λόγον τινὰ καὶ ὑπεραττικῶς ἀποκριθέντι, Ἐγὼ μέν σε, ἔφη, ὦ ἑταῖρε, νῦν ἠρώτησα, σὺ δέ μοι ὡς ἐπʼ Ἀγαμέμνονος ἀποκρίνῃ.

[¶24] 27. A friend asking him to come to the temple of Asclepius, there to make prayer for his son, ‘Poor deaf Asclepius!’ he exclaimed; 'can he not hear at this distance?’

> Greek: 27. εἰπόντος δέ τινος τῶν ἑταίρων, Ἀπίωμεν, Δημῶναξ, εἰς τὸ Ἀσκληπιεῖον καὶ προσευξώμεθα ὑπὲρ τοῦ υἱοῦ, Πάνυ, ἔφη, κωφὸν ἡγῇ τὸν Ἀσκληπιόν, εἰ μὴ δύναται κἀντεῦθεν ἡμῶν εὐχομένων ἀκούειν.

[¶25] 28. He once saw two philosophers engaged in a very unedifying game of cross questions and crooked answers. ‘Gentlemen,’ said he, ‘here is one man milking a billy-goat, and another catching the proceeds in a sieve.’

> Greek: 28. ἰδὼν δέ ποτε δύο τινὰς φιλοσόφους κομιδῇ ἀπαιδεύτως ἐν ζητήσει ἐρίζοντας καὶ τὸν μὲν ἄτοπα ἐρωτῶντα, τὸν δὲ οὐδὲν πρὸς λόγον ἀποκρινόμενον, Οὐ δοκεῖ ὑμῖν, ἔφη, ὦ φίλοι, ὁ μὲν ἕτερος τούτων τράγον ἀμέλγειν, ὁ δὲ αὐτῷ κόσκινον ὑποτιθέναι;

[¶26] 29. When Agathocles the Peripatetic vaunted himself as the first and only dialectician, he asked him how he could be the first, if he was the only, or the only, if he was the first.

> Greek: 29. Ἀγαθοκλέους δὲ τοῦ Περιπατητικοῦ μέγα φρονοῦντος ὅτι μόνος αὐτός ἐστιν καὶ πρῶτος τῶν διαλεκτικῶν, ἔφη, Καὶ μήν, ὦ Ἀγαθόκλεις, εἰ μὲν πρῶτος, οὐ μόνος, εἰ δὲ μόνος, οὐ πρῶτος.

[¶27] 30. The consular Cethegus, on his way to serve under his father in Asia, said and did many foolish things. A friend describing him as a great ass, ‘Not even a great ass,’ said Demonax.

> Greek: 30. Κεθήγου δὲ τοῦ ὑπατικοῦ, ὁπότε διὰ τῆς Ἑλλάδος εἰς τὴν Ἀσίαν ἀπῄει πρεσβεύσων τῷ πατρί, πολλὰ καταγέλαστα καὶ λέγοντος καὶ ποιοῦντος, ἐπειδὴ τῶν ἑταίρων τις ὁρῶν ταῦτα ἔλεγεν αὐτὸν μέγα κάθαρμα εἶναι, Μὰ τὸν Δίʼ, ἔφη ὁ Δημῶναξ, οὐδὲ μέγα.

[¶28] 31. When Apollonius was appointed professor of philosophy in the Imperial household, Demonax witnessed his departure, attended by a great number of his pupils. ‘Why, here is Apollonius with all his Argonauts,’ he cried.

> Greek: 31. καὶ Ἀπολλώνιον δέ ποτε τὸν φιλόσοφον ἰδὼν μετὰ πολλῶν τῶν μαθητῶν ἐξελαύνοντα — ἤδη δὲ ἀπῄει μετάπεμπτος ὡς ἐπὶ παιδείᾳ τῷ βασιλεῖ συνεσόμενος — προσέρχεται, ἔφη, Ἀπολλώνιος καὶ οἱ Ἀργοναῦται αὐτοῦ.

[¶29] 32. Asked whether he held the soul to be immortal, ‘Dear me, yes,’ he said; ‘everything is.’

> Greek: 32. ἄλλου δέ ποτε ἐρομένου εἰ ἀθάνατος αὐτῷ ἡ ψυχὴ δοκεῖ εἶναι, Ἀθάνατος, ἔφη, ἀλλʼ ὡς πάντα.

[¶30] 33. He remarked à propos of Herodes that Plato was quite right about our having more than one soul; the same soul could not possibly compose those splendid declamations, and have places laid for Regilla and Pollux after their death.

> Greek: 33. περὶ μέντοι Ἡρῴδου ἔλεγεν ἀληθεύειν τὸν Πλάτωνα φάμενον, οὐ μίαν ἡμᾶς ψυχὴν ἔχειν· οὐ γὰρ εἶναι τῆς αὐτῆς ψυχῆς Ῥήγιλλαν καὶ Πολυδεύκη ὡς ζῶντας ἑστιᾶν καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα μελετᾶν.

[¶31] 34. He was once bold enough to ask the assembled people, when he heard the sacred proclamation, why they excluded barbarians from the Mysteries, seeing that Eumolpus, the founder of them, was a barbarian from Thrace.

> Greek: 34. ἐτόλμησε δέ ποτε καὶ Ἀθηναίους ἐρωτῆσαι δημοσίᾳ τῆς προρρήσεως ἀκούσας, διὰ τίνα αἰτίαν ἀποκλείουσι τοὺς βαρβάρους, καὶ ταῦτα τοῦ τὴν τελετὴν αὐτοῖς καταστησαμένου Εὐμόλπου βαρβάρου καὶ Θρᾳκὸς ὄντος.

[¶32] 35. When he once had a winter voyage to make, a friend asked how he liked the thought of being capsized and becoming food for fishes. ‘I should be very unreasonable to mind giving them a meal, considering how many they have given me.’

> Greek: 35. ἐπεὶ δέ ποτε πλεῖν μέλλοντι αὐτῷ διὰ χειμῶνος ἔφη τις τῶν φίλων, Οὐ δέδοικας μὴ ἀνατραπέντος τοῦ σκάφους ὑπὸ ἰχθύων καταβρωθῇς; ἀγνώμων ἂν εἴην, ἔφη, ὀκνῶν ὑπὸ ἰχθύων κατεδεσθῆναι τοσούτους αὐτὸς ἰχθῦς καταφαγών.

[¶33] 36. To a rhetorician who had given a very poor declamation he recommended constant practice. ‘Why, I am always practising to myself,’ says the man. ‘Ah, that accounts for it; you are accustomed to such a foolish audience.’

> Greek: 36. ῥήτορι δέ τινι κάκιστα μελετήσαντι συνεβούλευεν ἀσκεῖν καὶ γυμνάζεσθαι· τοῦ δὲ εἰπόντος, Ἀεὶ ἐπʼ ἐμαυτοῦ λέγω, Εἰκότως τοίνυν, ἔφη, τοιαῦτα λέγεις μωρῷ ἀκροατῇ χρώμενος.

[¶34] 37. Observing a soothsayer one day officiating for pay, he said: ‘I cannot see how you can ask pay. If it is because you can change the course of Fate, you cannot possibly put the figure high enough: if everything is settled by Heaven, and not by you, what is the good of your soothsaying?”

> Greek: 37. καὶ μάντιν δέ ποτε ἰδὼν δημοσίᾳ ἐπὶ μισθῷ μαντευόμενον, Οὐχ ὁρῶ, ἔφη, ἐφʼ ὅτῳ τὸν μισθὸν ἀπαιτεῖς· εἰ μὲν γὰρ ὡς ἀλλάξαι τι δυνάμενος τῶν ἐπικεκλωσμένων, ὀλίγον αἰτεῖς ὁπόσον ἂν αἰτῇς, εἰ δὲ ὡς δέδοκται τῷ θεῷ πάντα ἔσται, τί σου δύναται ἡ μαντική;

[¶35] 38. A hale old Roman once gave him a little exhibition of his skill in fence, taking a clothes-peg for his mark. ‘What do you think of my play, Demonax?’ he said. ‘Excellent, so long as you have a wooden man to play with.’

> Greek: 38. πρεσβύτου δέ τινος Ῥωμαίου εὐσωματοῦντος τὴν ἐνόπλιον αὐτῷ μάχην πρὸς πάτταλον ἐπιδειξαμένου καὶ ἐρομένου, Πῶς σοι, Δημῶναξ, μεμαχῆσθαι ἔδοξα; καλῶς, ἔφη, ἂν ξύλινον τὸν ἀνταγωνιστὴν ἔχῃς.

[¶36] 39. Even for questions meant to be insoluble he generally had a shrewd answer at command, Some one tried to make a fool of him by asking, If I burn a hundred pounds of wood, how many pounds of smoke shall I get? ‘Weigh the ashes; the difference is all smoke.’

> Greek: 39. καὶ μὴν καὶ πρὸς τὰς ἀπόρους τῶν ἐρωτήσεων πάνυ εὐστόχως παρεσκεύαστο· ἐρομένου γάρ τινος ἐπὶ χλευασμῷ, Εἰ χιλίας μνᾶς ξύλων καύσαιμι, ὦ Δημῶναξ, πόσαι μναῖ ἂν καπνοῦ γένοιντο; στῆσον, ἔφη, τὴν σποδόν, καὶ τὸ λοιπὸν πᾶν καπνὸς ἔσται.

[¶37] 40. One Polybius, an uneducated man whose grammar was very defective, once informed him that he had received Roman citizenship from the Emperor. ‘Why did he not make you a Greek instead?’ asked Demonax.

> Greek: 40. Πολυβίου δέ τινος, κομιδῇ ἀπαιδεύτου ἀνθρώπου καὶ σολοίκου, εἰπόντος, Ὁ βασιλεύς με τῇ Ῥωμαίων πολιτείᾳ τετίμηκεν· εἴθε σε, ἔφη, Ἕλληνα μᾶλλον ἢ Ῥωμαῖον πεποιήκει.

[¶38] 41. Seeing a decorated person very proud of his broad stripe, he whispered in his ear, while he took hold of and drew attention to the cloth, ‘This attire did not make its original wearer anything but a sheep.’

> Greek: 41. ἰδὼν δέ τινα τῶν εὐπαρύφων ἐπὶ τῷ πλάτει τῆς πορφύρας μέγα φρονοῦντα, κύψας αὐτοῦ πρὸς τὸ οὖς καὶ τῆς ἐσθῆτος λαβόμενος καὶ δείξας, Τοῦτο μέντοι πρὸ σοῦ πρόβατον ἐφόρει καὶ ἦν πρόβατον.

[¶39] 42. Once at the bath the water was at boiling point, and some one called him a coward for hesitating to get in. ‘What,’ said he, ‘is my country expecting me to do my duty?’

> Greek: 42. ἐπεὶ μέντοι λουόμενος ὤκνησεν ἐς τὸ ὕδωρ ζέον ἐμβῆναι, καὶ ᾐτιάσατό τις ὡς ἀποδειλιάσαντα, Εἰπέ μοι, ἔφη, ὑπὲρ πατρίδος αὐτὸ πείσεσθαι ἔμελλον;

[¶40] 43. Some one asked him what he took the next world to be like. ‘Wait a bit, and I will send you the information.’

> Greek: 43. ἐρομένου δέ τινος, Ποῖα νομίζεις εἶναι τὰ ἐν Ἅιδου; περίμεινον, ἔφη, κἀκεῖθέν σοι ἐπιστελῶ.

[¶41] 44. A minor poet called Admetus told him he had inserted a clause in his will for the inscribing on his tomb of a monostich, which I will give:
Admetus’ husk earth holds, and Heaven himself.
‘What a beautiful epitaph, Admetus!’ said Demonax, ‘and what a pity it is not up yet!’

> Greek: 44. Ἀδμήτῳ δέ τινι ποιητῇ φαύλῳ λέγοντι γεγραφέναι μονόστιχον ἐπίγραμμα, ὅπερ ἐν ταῖς διαθήκαις κεκέλευκεν ἐπιγραφῆναι αὑτοῦ τῇ στήλῃ — οὐ χεῖρον δὲ καὶ αὐτὸ εἰπεῖν, Γαῖα λάβʼ Ἀδμήτου ἔλυτρον, βῆ δʼ εἰς θεὸν αὐτός — γελάσας εἶπεν, Οὕτω καλόν ἐστιν, ὦ Ἄδμητε, τὸ ἐπίγραμμα, ὥστε ἐβουλόμην αὐτὸ ἤδη ἐπιγεγράφθαι.

[¶42] 45. The shrunk shanks of old age are a commonplace; but when his reached this state, some one asked him what was the matter with them. ‘Ah,’ he said with a smile, ‘Charon has been having a bite at them.’

> Greek: 45. ἰδὼν δέ τις ἐπὶ τῶν σκελῶν αὐτοῦ οἷα τοῖς γέρουσιν ἐπιεικῶς γίνεται, ἤρετο, Τί τοῦτο, ὦ Δημῶναξ; ὁ δὲ μειδιάσας, Χάρων με ἔδακεν, ἔφη.

[¶43] 46. He interrupted a Spartan who was scourging his servant with, ‘Why confer on your slave the privilege of Spartans like yourself?’

> Greek: 46. καὶ μέντοι καὶ Λακεδαιμόνιόν τινα ἰδὼν τὸν αὑτοῦ οἰκέτην μαστιγοῦντα, Παῦσαι, ἔφη, ὁμότιμον σαυτοῦ τὸν δοῦλον ἀποφαίνων.

[¶44] 47. He observed to one Danae, who was bringing a suit against her brother, ‘Have the law of him by all means; it was another Danae whose father was called the Lawless.’

> Greek: 47. Δανάης δέ τινος πρὸς τὸν ἀδελφὸν δίκην ἐχούσης, Κρίθητι, ἔφη, οὐ γὰρ εἶ Δανάη ἡ Ἀκρισίου θυγάτηρ.

[¶45] 48. He waged constant warfare against all whose philosophy was not practical, but for show. So when he saw a cynic, with threadbare cloak and wallet, but a braying-pestle instead of a staff, proclaiming himself loudly as a follower of Antisthenes, Crates, and Diogenes, he said: ‘Tell us no lies; your master is the professor of braying.’

> Greek: 48. μάλιστα δὲ ἐπολέμει τοῖς οὐ πρὸς ἀλήθειαν ἀλλὰ πρὸς ἐπίδειξιν φιλοσοφοῦσιν· ἕνα γοῦν ἰδὼν Κυνικὸν τρίβωνα μὲν καὶ πήραν ἔχοντα, ἀντὶ δὲ τῆς βακτηρίας ὕπερον, καὶ κεκραγότα καὶ λέγοντα ὅτι Ἀντισθένους καὶ Κράτητος καὶ Διογένους ἐστὶ ζηλωτής, Μὴ ψεύδου, ἔφη, σὺ γὰρ Ὑπερείδου μαθητὴς ὢν τυγχάνεις.

[¶46] 49. Noticing how foul play was growing among the athletes, who often supplemented the resources of boxing and wrestling with their teeth, he said it was no wonder that the champions’ partisans had taken to describing them as lions.

> Greek: 49. ἐπεὶ μέντοι πολλοὺς τῶν ἀθλητῶν ἑώρα κακομαχοῦντας καὶ παρὰ τὸν νόμον τὸν ἐναγώνιον ἀντὶ τοῦ παγκρατιάζειν δάκνοντας, Οὐκ ἀπεικότως, ἔφη, τοὺς νῦν ἀθλητὰς οἱ παρομαρτοῦντες λέοντας καλοῦσιν.

[¶47] 50. There was both wit and sting in what he said to the proconsul. The latter was one of the people who take all the hair off their bodies with pitch-plaster. A cynic mounted a block of stone and cast this practice in his teeth, suggesting that it was for immoral purposes. The proconsul in a rage had the man pulled down, and was on the point of condemning him to be beaten or banished, when Demonax, who was present, pleaded for him on the ground that he was only exercising the traditional cynic licence. ‘Well,’ said the proconsul, ‘I pardon him this time at your request; but if he offends again, what shall I do to him?’ ‘Have him depilated,’ said Demonax.

> Greek: 50. ἀστεῖον δὲ κἀκεῖνο αὐτοῦ καὶ δηκτικὸν ἅμα τὸ πρὸς τὸν ἀνθύπατον εἰρημένον· ἦν μὲν γὰρ τῶν πιττουμένων τὰ σκέλη καὶ τὸ σῶμα ὅλον· κυνικοῦ δέ τινος ἐπὶ λίθον ἀναβάντος καὶ αὐτὸ τοῦτο κατηγοροῦντος αὐτοῦ καὶ εἰς κιναιδίαν διαβάλλοντος, ἀγανακτήσας καὶ κατασπασθῆναι τὸν Κυνικὸν κελεύσας ἔμελλεν ἢ ξύλοις συντρίψειν ἢ καὶ φυγῇ ζημιώσειν· ἀλλʼ ὅ γε Δημῶναξ παρατυχὼν παρῃτεῖτο συγγνώμην ἔχειν αὐτῷ κατά τινα πάτριον τοῖς Κυνικοῖς παρρησίαν θρασυνομένῳ. εἰπόντος δὲ τοῦ ἀνθυπάτου, Νῦν μέν σοι ἀφίημι αὐτόν, ἂν δὲ ὕστερον τοιοῦτόν τι τολμήσῃ, τί παθεῖν ἄξιός ἐστιν; καὶ ὁ Δημῶναξ, Δρωπακισθῆναι τότε αὐτὸν κέλευσον.

[¶48] 51. Another person, entrusted by the Emperor with the command of legions and the charge of a great province, asked him what was the way to govern well. ‘Keep your temper, say little, and hear much.’

> Greek: 51. ἄλλῳ δέ τινι στρατοπέδων ἅμα καὶ ἔθνους τοῦ μεγίστου τὴν ἀρχὴν ἐμπιστευθέντι ἐκ βασιλέως ἐρομένῳ, πῶς ἄριστα ἄρξει; ἀοργήτως, ἔφη, καὶ ὀλίγα μὲν λαλῶν, πολλὰ δὲ ἀκούων.

[¶49] 52. Asked whether he ate honey-cakes, ‘Do you suppose,’ he said, ‘that bees only make honey for fools?”

> Greek: 52. ἐρομένῳ δέ τινι εἰ καὶ αὐτὸς πλακοῦντας ἐσθίοι, Οἴει οὖν, ἔφη, τοῖς μωροῖς τὰς μελίσσας τιθέναι τὰ κηρία;

[¶50] 53. Noticing near the Poecile a statue minus a hand, he said it had taken Athens a long time to get up a bronze to Cynaegirus.

> Greek: 53. πρὸς δὲ τῇ Ποικίλῃ ἀνδριάντα ἰδὼν τὴν χεῖρα ἀποκεκομμένον, ὀψὲ ἔφη Ἀθηναίους εἰκόνι χαλκῇ τετιμηκέναι τὸν Κυνέγειρον.

[¶51] 54. Alluding to the lame Cyprian Rufinus, who was a Peripatetic and spent much time in the Lyceum walks, ‘What presumption,’ he exclaimed, ‘for a cripple to call himself a Walking Philosopher!’

> Greek: 54. καὶ μὴν καὶ Ῥουφῖνον τὸν Κύπριον — λέγω δὴ τὸν χωλὸν τὸν ἐκ τοῦ περιπάτου — ἰδὼν ἐπὶ πολὺ τοῖς περιπάτοις ἐνδιατρίβοντα, Οὐδέν ἐστιν, ἔφη, ἀναισχυντότερον χωλοῦ Περιπατητικοῦ.

[¶52] 55. Epictetus once urged him, with a touch of reproof, to take a wife and raise a family—for it beseemed a philosopher to leave some one to represent him after the flesh. But he received the home thrust: ‘Very well, Epictetus; give me one of your daughters.’

> Greek: 55. ἐπεὶ δέ ποτε ὁ Ἐπίκτητος ἐπιτιμῶν ἅμα συνεβούλευεν αὐτῷ ἀγαγέσθαι γυναῖκα καὶ παιδοποιήσασθαι — πρέπειν γὰρ καὶ τοῦτο φιλοσόφῳ ἀνδρὶ ἕτερον ἀντʼ αὐτοῦ καταλιπεῖν τῇ φύσει — ἐλεγκτικώτατα πρὸς αὐτὸν ἀπεκρίνατο, Οὐκοῦν, ὦ Ἐπίκτητε, δός μοι μίαν τῶν σαυτοῦ θυγατέρων.

[¶53] 56. His remark to Herminus the Aristotelian is equally worth recording. He was aware that this man’s character was vile and his misdeeds innumerable, and yet his mouth was always full of Aristotle and his ten predicaments. ‘Certainly, Herminus,’ he said, ‘no predicament is too bad for you.’

> Greek: 56. καὶ μὴν τὸ πρὸς Ἑρμῖνον τὸν Ἀριστοτελικὸν ἄξιον ἀπομνημονεῦσαι· εἰδὼς γὰρ αὐτὸν παγκάκιστον μὲν ὄντα καὶ μυρία κακὰ ἐργαζόμενον, τὸν Ἀριστοτέλη δʼ ἐπαινοῦντα καὶ διὰ στόματος αὐτοῦ τὰς δέκα κατηγορίας ἔχοντα, Ἑρμῖνε, ἔφη, ἀληθῶς ἄξιος εἶ δέκα κατηγοριῶν.

[¶54] 57. When the Athenians were thinking, in their rivalry with Corinth, of starting gladiatorial shows, he came forward and said: ‘Men of Athens, before you pass this motion, do not forget to destroy the altar of Pity.’

> Greek: 57. Ἀθηναίων δὲ σκεπτομένων κατὰ ζῆλον τὸν πρὸς Κορινθίους καταστήσασθαι θέαν μονομάχων, προελθὼν εἰς αὐτούς, Μὴ πρότερον ταῦτα, ὦ Ἀθηναῖοι, ψηφίσησθε, ἂν μὴ τοῦ Ἐλέου τὸν βωμὸν καθέλητε.

[¶55] 58. On the occasion of his visiting Olympia, the Eleans voted a bronze statue to him. But he remonstrated: ‘It will imply a reproach to your ancestors, men of Elis, who set up no statue to Socrates or Diogenes.’

> Greek: 58. ἐπεὶ δὲ εἰς Ὀλυμπίαν ποτὲ ἐλθόντι αὐτῷ Ἠλεῖοι εἰκόνα χαλκῆν ἐψηφίσαντο, Μηδαμῶς τοῦτο, ἔφη, ὦ ἄνδρες Ἠλεῖοι, μὴ δόξητε ὀνειδίζειν τοῖς προγόνοις ὑμῶν, ὅτι μήτε Σωκράτους μήτε Διογένους εἰκόνα ἀνατεθείκασιν.

[¶56] 59. I once heard him observe to a learned lawyer that laws were not of much use, whether meant for the good or for the bad; the first do not need them, and upon the second they have no effect.

> Greek: 59. ἤκουσα δὲ αὐτοῦ ποτε καὶ πρὸς τὸν … τὸν τῶν νόμων ἔμπειρον ταῦτα λέγοντος, ὅτι κινδυνεύουσιν ἄχρηστοι εἶναι οἱ νόμοι, ἄν τε πονηροῖς ἄν τε ἀγαθοῖς γράφωνται· οἱ μὲν γὰρ οὐ δέονται νόμων, οἱ δὲ ὑπὸ νόμων οὐδὲν βελτίους γίγνονται.

[¶57] 60. There was one line of Homer always on his tongue:
Idle or busy, death takes all alike.

> Greek: 60. τῶν δὲ Ὁμήρου στίχον ἕνα ᾖδεν μάλιστα — κάτθανʼ ὁμῶς ὅ τʼ ἀεργὸς ἀνὴρ ὅ τε πολλὰ ἐοργώς.

[¶58] 61. He had a good word for Thersites, as a cynic and a leveller.

> Greek: 61. ἐπῄνει δὲ καὶ τὸν Θερσίτην ὡς Κυνικόν τινα δημηγόρον.

[¶59] 62. Asked which of the philosophers was most to his taste, he said: ‘I admire them all; Socrates I revere, Diogenes I admire, Aristippus I love.’

> Greek: 62. ἐρωτηθεὶς δέ ποτε, τίς αὐτῷ ἀρέσκοι τῶν φιλοσόφων, ἔφη, Πάντες μὲν θαυμαστοί· ἐγὼ δὲ Σωκράτη μὲν σέβω, θαυμάζω δὲ Διογένη καὶ φιλῶ Ἀρίστιππον.

[¶60] 63. He lived to nearly a hundred, free from disease and pain, burdening no man, asking no man’s favour, serving his friends, and having no enemies. Not Athens only, but all Greece was so in love with him that as he passed the great would give him place and there would be a general hush. Towards the end of his long life he would go uninvited into the first house that offered, and there get his dinner and his bed, the household regarding it as the visit of some heavenly being which brought them a blessing. When they saw him go by, the baker-wives would contend for the honour of supplying him, and a happy woman was the actual donor. Children too used to call him father, and bring him offerings of fruit.

> Greek: 63. Ἐβίου δὲ ἔτη ὀλίγου δέοντα τῶν ἑκατὸν ἄνοσος, ἄλυπος, οὐδένα ἐνοχλήσας τι ἢ αἰτήσας, φίλοις χρήσιμος, ἐχθρὸν οὐδένα οὐδεπώποτε ἐσχηκώς· καὶ τοσοῦτον ἔρωτα ἔσχον πρὸς αὐτὸν Ἀθηναῖοί τε αὐτοὶ καὶ ἅπασα ἡ Ἑλλάς, ὥστε παριόντι ὑπεξανίστασθαι μὲν τοὺς ἄρχοντας, σιωπὴν δὲ γίνεσθαι παρὰ πάντων. τὸ τελευταῖον δὲ ἤδη ὑπέργηρως ὢν ἄκλητος εἰς ἣν τύχοι παριὼν οἰκίαν ἐδείπνει καὶ ἐκάθευδε, τῶν ἐνοικούντων θεοῦ τινα ἐπιφάνειαν ἡγουμένων τὸ πρᾶγμα καί τινα ἀγαθὸν δαίμονα εἰσεληλυθέναι αὐτοῖς εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν. παριόντα δὲ αἱ ἀρτοπώλιδες ἀνθεῖλκον πρὸς αὑτὰς ἑκάστη ἀξιοῦσα παρʼ αὐτῆς λαμβάνειν τῶν ἄρτων, καὶ τοῦτο εὐτυχίαν ἑαυτῆς ἡ δεδωκυῖα ᾤετο. καὶ μὴν καὶ οἱ παῖδες ὀπώρας προσέφερον αὐτῷ πατέρα ὀνομάζοντες.

[¶61] 64. Party spirit was once running high at Athens; he came into the assembly, and his mere appearance was enough to still the storm. When he saw that they were ashamed, he departed again without having uttered a word.

> Greek: 64. στάσεως δέ ποτε Ἀθήνησι γενομένης εἰσῆλθεν εἰς τὴν ἐκκλησίαν καὶ φανεὶς μόνον σιωπᾶν ἐποίησεν αὐτούς· ὁ δὲ ἰδὼν ἤδη μετεγνωκότας οὐδὲν εἰπὼν καὶ αὐτὸς ἀπηλλάγη.

[¶62] 65. When he found that he was no longer able to take care of himself, he repeated to his friends the tag with which the iecalds close the festival:
The games are done,
The crowns all won;
No more delay,
But haste away,
and from that moment abstaining from food, left life as cheerfully as he had lived it.

> Greek: 65. ὅτε δὲ συνῆκεν οὐκέθʼ οἷός τε ὢν αὑτῷ ἐπικουρεῖν, εἰπὼν πρὸς τοὺς παρόντας τὸν ἐναγώνιον τῶν κηρύκων πόδα
λήγει μὲν ἀγὼν τῶν καλλίστων
ἄθλων ταμίας, καιρὸς δὲ καλεῖ
μηκέτι μέλλειν,
καὶ πάντων ἀποσχόμενος ἀπῆλθεν τοῦ βίου φαιδρὸς καὶ οἷος ἀεὶ τοῖς ἐντυγχάνουσιν ἐφαίνετο.

[¶63] 66. When the end was near, he was asked his wishes about burial. ‘Oh, do not trouble; scent will summon: my undertakers.’ Well, but it would be indecent for the body of so great a man to feed birds and dogs. ‘Oh, no harm in making oneself useful in death to anything that lives.’

> Greek: 66. ὀλίγον δὲ πρὸ τῆς τελευτῆς ἐρομένου τινός, Περὶ ταφῆς τί κελεύεις; μὴ πολυπραγμονεῖτε, ἔφη· ἡ γὰρ ὀδμή με θάψει. φαμένου δὲ ἐκείνου, Τί οὖν; οὐκ αἰσχρὸν ὀρνέοις καὶ κυσὶ βορὰν προτεθῆναι τηλικούτου ἀνδρὸς σῶμα; καὶ μὴν οὐδὲν ἄτοπον, ἔφη, τοῦτο, εἰ μέλλω καὶ ἀποθανὼν ζῴοις τισὶ χρήσιμος ἔσεσθαι.

[¶64] 67. However, the Athenians gave him a magnificent public funeral, long lamented him, worshipped and garlanded the stone seat on which he had been wont to rest when tired, accounting the mere stone sanctified by him who had sat upon it. No one would miss the funeral ceremony, least of all any of the philosophers. It was these who bore him to the grave. I have made but a small selection of the material available; but it may serve to give readers some idea of this great man’s character. Henry Watson Fowler

> Greek: 67. οἱ μέντοι Ἀθηναῖοι καὶ ἔθαψαν αὐτὸν δημοσίᾳ μεγαλοπρεπῶς καὶ ἐπὶ πολὺ ἐπένθησαν, καὶ τὸν θᾶκον τὸν λίθινον, ἐφʼ οὗ εἰώθει ὁπότε κάμνοι ἀναπαύεσθαι, προσεκύνουν καὶ ἐστεφάνουν ἐς τιμὴν τοῦ ἀνδρός, ἡγούμενοι ἱερὸν εἶναι καὶ τὸν λίθον, ἐφʼ οὗ ἐκαθέζετο. ἐπὶ μὲν γὰρ τὴν ἐκφορὰν οὐκ ἔστιν ὅστις οὐκ ἀπήντησεν, καὶ μάλιστα τῶν φιλοσόφων· οὗτοι μέντοι ὑποδύντες ἐκόμιζον αὐτὸν ἄχρι πρὸς τὸν τάφον. ταῦτα ὀλίγα πάνυ ἐκ πολλῶν ἀπεμνημόνευσα, καὶ ἔστιν ἀπὸ τούτων τοῖς ἀναγινώσκουσι λογίζεσθαι ὁποῖος ἐκεῖνος ἀνὴρ ἐγένετο.