1. JOESSA: So, Lysias, you’re turning up your nose at me? It serves me right, seeing that I never asked money of you, or locked you out when you came, telling you I had another man with me, or forced you to cheat your father or rob your mother to bring me something. That’s what all the other courtesans do, but I let you come in from the start, though you didn’t pay me anything or contribute your share of the meal, and I sent away ever so many lovers, as you know, men such as Theocles, who’s an important man in the Council at the moment, and Pasion, the shipowner, and your companion, Melissus, though he lost his father the other day and now has control of the estate. But you were my only love, my Phaon, and I wouldn’t look at anyone or have anyone near me but only you. For I thought in my folly that your vows were true, and for that reason I’ve devoted myself to you and lived as chaste a life as Penelope, though my mother shouts at me and runs me down before her friends. But ever since you realised that I doted on you, and you had me under your thumb, you’ve been having jokes with Lycena, before my very eyes, to annoy me, or at other times praising Magidium, the harp-girl, when we were dining together. These things make me cry and feel insulted. Only the other day, when you were drinking with Thraso and Diphilus, the company also included the flute-girl Cymbalium, and Pyrallis, whom I loathe. As you know that, I didn’t worry particularly at your kissing Cymbalium five times. To kiss a woman like that was an insult to yourself! But oh! the way you kept on making signs to Pyrallis, and would lift up your cup to her, when you drank, and whisper in the slave’s ear, when you returned the cup, telling him not to give anyone a drink unless Pyrallis asked for one! In the end you bit off a piece of your apple, when you saw Diphilus was busy talking to Thraso, and, bending forward, shot it with skilful aim into her bosom, without any attempt to hide it from me. She kissed it, and, dropping it between her breasts, tucked it under her girdle.
1. ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Θρύπτῃ, ὦ Λυσία, πρὸς ἐμέ; καὶ καλῶς, ὅτι μήτε ἀργύριον πώποτε ᾔτησά σε μήτ' ἀπέκλεισα ἐλθόντα, ἔνδον ἕτερος, εἰποῦσα, μήτε παραλογισάμενον τὸν πατέρα ἢ ὑφελόμενον τῆς μητρὸς ἠνάγκασα ἐμοί τι κομίσαι, ὁποῖα αἱ ἄλλαι ποιοῦσιν, ἀλλ’ εὐθὺς ἐξ ἀρχῆς ἄμισθον, ἀξύμβολον εἰσεδεξάμην, οἶσθα ὅσους ἐραστὰς παραπεμψαμένη, Θεοκλέα τὸν πρυτανεύοντα νῦν καὶ Πασίωνα τὸν ναύκληρον καὶ τὸν συνέφηβόν σου Μέλισσον, καίτοι ἔναγχος ἀποθανόντος αὐτῷ τοῦ πατρὸς καὶ κύριον αὐτὸν ὄντα τῆς οὐσίας· ἐγὼ δὲ τὸν Φάωνα μόνον εἶχον οὔτε τινὰ προσβλέπουσα ἕτερον οὔτε προσιεμένη ὅτι μὴ σέ· ᾤμην γὰρ ἡ ἀνόητος ἀληθῆ εἶναι ἃ ὤμνυες, καὶ διὰ τοῦτό σοι προσέχουσα ὥσπερ ἡ Πηνελόπη ἐσωφρόνουν, ἐπιβοωμένης τῆς μητρὸς καὶ πρὸς τὰς φίλας ἐγκαλούσης. σὺ δὲ ἐπείπερ ἔμαθες ὑποχείριον ἔχων με τετηκυῖαν ἐπὶ σοί, ἄρτι μὲν Λυκαίνῃ προσέπαιζες ἐμοῦ ὁρώσης, ὡς λυποίης ἐμέ, ἄρτι δὲ σὺν ἐμοὶ κατακείμενος ἐπῄνεις Μαγίδιον τὴν ψάλτριαν· ἐγὼ δ’ ἐπὶ τούτοις δακρύω καὶ συνίημι ὑβριζομένη. πρῴην δὲ ὁπότε συνεπίνετε Θράσων καὶ σὺ καὶ Δίφιλος, παρῆσαν καὶ ἡ αὐλητρὶς Κυμβάλιον καὶ Πυραλλὶς ἐχθρὰ οὖσα ἐμοί. σὺ δὲ τοῦτ' εἰδὼς τὴν Κυμβάλιον μὲν οὔ μοι πάνυ ἐμέλησεν ὅτι πεντάκις ἐφίλησας· σεαυτὸν γὰρ ὕβριζες τοιαύτην φιλῶν· Πυραλλίδα δὲ ὅσον ἐνένευες, καὶ πιὼν ἂν ἐκείνῃ μὲν ἀπέδειξας τὸ ποτήριον, ἀποδιδοὺς δὲ τῷ παιδὶ πρὸς τὸ οὖς ἐκέλευες, εἰ μὴ Πυραλλὶς αἰτήσειε, μὴ ἂν ἄλλῳ ἐγχέαι· τέλος δὲ τοῦ μήλου ἀποδακών, ὁπότε τὸν Δίφιλον εἶδες ἀσχολούμενον—ἐλάλει γὰρ Θράσωνι—προκύψας πως εὐστόχως προσηκόντισας ἐς τὸν κόλπον αὐτῆς, οὐδὲ λαθεῖν γε πειρώμενος ἐμέ· ἡ δὲ φιλήσασα μεταξὺ τῶν μαστῶν ὑπὸ τῷ ἀποδέσμῳ παρεβύσατο.
2. Well, why do you act like that? Have I ever done anything great or small to harm or annoy you? Have I ever looked at another man? Don’t I live only for you? There’s nothing glorious, Lysias, in vexing like this a poor weak woman, who’s mad with love for you. There is such a goddess as Nemesis, and she sees things like this. Perhaps it will bring you grief when you hear that I lie dead, after hanging myself, or jumping head first into a well, or I’ll find some other way of killing myself, so that you won’t have the annoyance of seeing me any more. Then you’ll be able to swagger around with pride for a great and glorious achievement. Why do you look at me so angrily and gnash your teeth? If you have any complaint against me, speak up, and let Pythias here judge between us. Hullo? Are you going away and leaving me, without answering? Pythias, do you see how I’m being treated by Lysias? PYTHIAS: What cruelty! Even your tears don’t soften his heart. He’s a stone, not a human being. But, if truth must be spoken, Joessa, you spoilt him by loving him too much, and letting him see it. You shouldn’t make very much of him at all. Men become proud when they see that. Stop crying, poor girl; take my advice and shut him out once or twice. Then you’ll find him burning with passion and really mad in his turn for your love.JOESSA: Stop it! Don’t even say that! Me shut out Lysias? I only hope he won’t desert me first. PYTHIAS: He’s coming back again.
2. ταῦτα οὖν τίνος ἕνεκα ποιεῖς; τί σε ἢ μέγα ἢ μικρὸν ἐγὼ ἠδίκησα ἢ λελύπηκα; τίνα ἕτερον εἶδον; οὐ πρὸς μόνον σὲ ζῶ; οὐ μέγα, ὦ Λυσία, τοῦτο ποιεῖς γύναιον ἄθλιον λυπῶν μεμηνὸς ἐπὶ σοί; ἔστι τις θεὸς ἡ Ἀδράστεια καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα ὁρᾷ· σὺ δέ ποτε λυπήσῃ τάχα, ἂν ἀκούσῃς τι περὶ ἐμοῦ, κειμένην με ἤτοι βρόχῳ ἐμαυτὴν ἀποπνίξασαν ἢ ἐς τὸ φρέαρ ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν ἐμπεσοῦσαν, ἢ ἕνα γέ τινα τρόπον εὑρήσω θανάτου, ὡς μηκέτ' ἐνοχλοίην βλεπομένη. πομπεύσεις τότε ὡς μέγα καὶ λαμπρὸν ἔργον ἐργασάμενος. τί με ὑποβλέπεις καὶ πρίεις τοὺς ὁδόντας; εἰ γάρ τι ἐγκαλεῖς, εἰπέ, Πυθιὰς ἡμῖν αὕτη δικασάτω. τί τοῦτο; οὐδὲ ἀποκρινάμενος ἀπέρχῃ καταλιπών με; ὁρᾷς, ὦ Πυθιάς, οἷα πάσχω ὑπὸ Λυσίου; ΠΥΘΙΑΣ: Ὢ τῆς ἀγριότητος, τὸ μηδὲ ἐπικλασθῆναι δακρυούσης· λίθος, οὐκ ἄνθρωπός ἐστι. πλὴν ἀλλ’ εἴ γε χρὴ τἀληθὲς εἰπεῖν, σύ, ὦ Ἰόεσσα, διέφθειρας αὐτὸν ὑπεραγαπῶσα καὶ τοῦτο ἐμφαίνουσα. ἐχρῆν δὲ μὴ πάνυ αὐτὸν ζηλοῦν· ὑπερόπται γὰρ αἰσθανόμενοι γίγνονται. παῦ', ὦ τάλαινα, δακρύουσα, καὶ ἤν μοι πείθῃ, ἅπαξ ἢ δὶς ἀπόκλεισον ἐλθόντα· ὄψει γὰρ ἀνακαιόμενον αὐτὸν πάνυ καὶ ἀντιμεμηνότα ἀληθῶς.ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Ἀλλὰ μηδ’ εἴπῃς, ἄπαγε. ἀποκλείσω Λυσίαν; εἴθε μὴ αὐτὸς ἀποσταίη φθάσας. ΠΥΘΙΑΣ: Ἀλλ' ἐπανέρχεται αὖθις.
JOESSA: You’ve ruined us, Pythias! Perhaps he’s heard you saying, “Shut him out!”
ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Ἀπολώλεκας ἡμᾶς, ὦ Πυθιάς· ἠκρόαταί σου ἴσως “ἀπόκλεισον” λεγούσης.
3. LYSIAS: I’ve not come back because of her, Pythias, for I wouldn’t look at her till she changes her ways, but for your sake, so that you won’t think I’m in the wrong and say, “Lysias is heartless.” PYTHIAS: Indeed that’s just what I was saying, Lysias.
3. ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Οὐχὶ ταύτης ἕνεκεν, ὦ Πυθιάς, ἐπανελήλυθα, ἣν οὐδὲ προσβλέψαιμι ἔτι τοιαύτην οὖσαν, ἀλλὰ διὰ σέ, ὡς μὴ καταγιγνώσκῃς ἐμοῦ καὶ λέγῃς, Ἄτεγκτος ὁ Λυσίας ἐστίν. ΠΥΘΙΑΣ: Ἀμέλει καὶ ἔλεγον, ὦ Λυσία.
LYSIAS: So, Pythias, you expect me to put up with Joessa? She may be all tears now, but I myself found her being unfaithful to me and sleeping with another young man. PYTHIAS: Lysias, the point is that she’s a courtesan. But how did you catch them sleeping together?
ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Φέρειν οὖν ἐθέλεις, ὦ Πυθιάς, Ἰόεσσαν ταύτην τὴν νῦν δακρύουσαν αὐτὸν ἐπιστάντα αὐτῇ ποτε μετὰ νεανίου καθευδούσῃ ἐμοῦ ἀποστάσῃ; ΠΥΘΙΑΣ: Λυσία, τὸ μὲν ὅλον ἑταίρα ἐστί. πῶς δ’ οὖν κατέλαβες αὐτοὺς συγκαθεύδοντας;
LYSIAS: It was about five days ago; yes, by Jove, five it was, for it was the second of the month, and it’s the seventh today. My father, knowing that I’d long been in love with this paragon among women, had shut me in, with instructions to the porter that he wasn’t to open the door for me. But I, unable to stay away from her, told Dromo to bend down along the top of the courtyard wall at its lowest part, and let me mount his back. In that way I’d be able to climb up more easily. To cut my story short, I got over the wall, came here, and found the door carefully bolted, for it was midnight. I didn’t knock, but gently eased the door up off its hinges, as I’d done on earlier occasions, and, pushing it open, entered without making a sound. Everybody was asleep, and I felt my way along the wall till I was at the bed.
ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Ἕκτην σχεδὸν ταύτην ἡμέραν, νὴ Δί', ἕκτην γε, δευτέρᾳ ἱσταμένου· τὸ τήμερον δὲ ἑβδόμη ἐστίν. ὁ πατὴρ εἰδὼς ὡς πάλαι ἐρῴην ταυτησὶ τῆς χρηστῆς, ἐνέκλεισέ με παραγγείλας τῷ θυρωρῷ μὴ ἀνοίγειν· ἐγὼ δέ, οὐ γὰρ ἔφερον μὴ οὐχὶ συνεῖναι αὐτῇ, τὸν Δρόμωνα ἐκέλευσα παρακύψαντα παρὰ τὸν θριγκὸν τῆς αὐλῆς, ᾗ ταπεινότατον ἦν, ἀναδέξασθαί με ἐπὶ τὸν νῶτον· ῥᾷον γὰρ οὕτως ἀναβήσεσθαι ἔμελλον. τί ἂν μακρὰ λέγοιμι; ὑπερέβην, ἦκον, τὴν αὔλειον εὗρον ἀποκεκλεισμένην ἐπιμελῶς· μέσαι γὰρ νύκτες ἦσαν. οὐκ ἔκοψα δ’ οὖν, ἀλλ’ ἐπάρας ἠρέμα τὴν θύραν, ἤδη δὲ καὶ ἄλλοτ' ἐπεποιήκειν αὐτό, παραγαγὼν τὸν στροφέα παρεισῆλθον ἀψοφητί. ἐκάθευδον δὲ πάντες, εἶτα ἐπαφώμενος τοῦ τοίχου ἐφίσταμαι τῇ κλίνῃ.
4. JOESSA: In Demeter’s name, what are you going to say? I’m on tenterhooks.
4. ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Τί ἐρεῖς, ὦ Δάματερ; ἀγωνιῶ γάρ.
LYSIAS: When I could make out the breath of more than one person, at first I thought Lyde was sleeping with her. But that wasn’t so, Pythias, for, when I touched her companion, it was a smooth-chinned, soft-skinned man, with his head shaved, and reeking of scent like a woman. If I’d had my sword with me, when I’d made this discovery, believe me, I wouldn’t have hesitated! Why are you laughing, Pythias? Do you see anything funny in what I say?
ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Ἐπειδὴ δὲ οὐχ ἑώρων τὸ ἆσθμα ἕν, τὸ μὲν πρῶτον ᾤμην τὴν Λυδὴν αὐτῇ συγκαθεύδειν· τὸ δ’ οὐκ ἦν, ὦ Πυθιάς, ἀλλ’ ἐφαψάμενος εὗρον ἀγένειόν τινα πάνυ ἁπαλόν, ἐν χρῷ κεκαρμένον, μύρων καὶ αὐτὸν ἀποπνέοντα. τοῦτο ἰδὼν εἰ μὲν καὶ ξίφος ἔχων ἦλθον, οὐκ ἂν ὤκνησα, εὖ ἴστε. τί γελᾶτε, ὦ Πυθιάς; γέλωτος ἄξια δοκῶ σοι διηγεῖσθαι;
JOESSA: Was that what annoyed you, Lysias? It was Pythias here who was sleeping with me. PYTHIAS: Don’t tell him, Joessa.
ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Τοῦτό σε, ὦ Λυσία, λελύπηκεν; ἡ Πυθιὰς αὕτη μοι συνεκάθευδε. ΠΥΘΙΑΣ: Μὴ λέγε, ὦ Ἰόεσσα, πρὸς αὐτόν.
JOESSA: Why not? It was Pythias, darling. I asked her to sleep with me, because I was miserable without you.
ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Τί μὴ λέγω; Πυθιὰς ἦν, φίλτατε, μετακληθεῖσα ὑπ' ἐμοῦ, ὡς ἅμα καθεύδοιμεν· ἐλυπούμην γὰρ σὲ μὴ ἔχουσα.
5. LYSIAS: Pythias the man with the shaved head? Has she grown all this hair in the five days since then?
5. ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Πυθιὰς ὁ ἐν χρῷ κεκαρμένος; εἶτα δι’ ἕκτης ἡμέρας ἀνεκόμησε τοσαύτην κόμην;
JOESSA: She had her head shaved, because she was ill and her hairs were falling out. But now she’s wearing a wig. Show him, Pythias, show him I’m telling the truth. Convince him. Take a look at the young man, the lover of whom you were so jealous!
ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Ἀπὸ τῆς νόσου ἐξυρήσατο, ὦ Λυσία· ὑπέρρεον γὰρ αὐτῇ αἱ τρίχες. νῦν δὲ καὶ τὴν πηνήκην ἐπέθετο. δεῖξον, ὦ Πυθιάς, δεῖξον οὕτως ὄν, πεῖσον αὐτόν. ἰδοὺ τὸ μειράκιον ὁ μοιχὸς ὃν ἐζηλοτύπεις.
LYSIAS: Well, hadn’t I good reason? Especially as I loved you, and had touched your companion with my own hands?
ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Οὐκ ἐχρῆν οὖν, ὦ Ἰόεσσα, καὶ ταῦτα ἐρῶντα ἐφαψάμενον αὐτόν;
JOESSA: Then you believe me now? Do you want me to get my own back by annoying you? I’ve a perfect right to be angry in my turn.
ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Οὐκοῦν σὺ μὲν ἤδη πέπεισαι· βούλει δὲ ἀντιλυπήσω σε καὶ αὐτή; ὀργίζομαι δικαίως ἐν τῷ μέρει.
LYSIAS: Please don’t. Let’s have some wine now, and Pythias with us. She ought to be there when the wine seals our truce.
ΛΥΣΙΑΣ: Μηδαμῶς, ἀλλὰ πίνωμεν ἤδη, καὶ Πυθιὰς μεθ' ἡμῶν· ἄξιον γὰρ αὐτὴν παρεῖναι ταῖς σπονδαῖς.
JOESSA: So she shall. Oh, but how I’ve suffered because of you, Pythias, you noble young fellow! PYTHIAS: But I was also the one who made you friends again, and so you mustn’t be angry with me. But there’s one thing, Lysias. Be sure you tell nobody about my hair.
ΙΟΕΣΣΑ: Παρέσται. οἷα πέπονθα διὰ σέ, ὦ γενναιότατε νεανίσκων Πυθίας. ΠΥΘΙΑΣ: Ἀλλὰ καὶ διήλλαξα ὑμᾶς ὁ αὐτός, ὥστε μή μοι χαλέπαινε. πλὴν τὸ δεῖνα, ὅρα, ὦ Λυσία, μή τινι εἴπῃς τὸ περὶ τῆς κόμης.