1. MOTHER: If we find another lover like Chaereas, Musarium, we’ll have to sacrifice a white goat to earthly Aphrodite, and a heifer to the statue of heavenly Aphrodite in the Gardens, and offer a wreath to Demeter, Giver of Wealth! We shall be prosperous and more than doubly blessed! You can see how much we’re getting from the young fellow at present! He has never given you so much as a penny, or a dress, or a pair of shoes, or a bottle of scent. Always there are excuses and promises and hopes for the distant future, and he keeps saying, “If only my father—” or “If I get my inheritance,” or “It will all be yours.” And you say he’s promised on oath to make you his lawful wedded wife.
1. ΜΗΤΗΡ: Ἄν δ’ ἔτι τοιοῦτον ἐραστὴν εὕρωμεν, ὦ Μουσάριον, οἷος ὁ Χαιρέας ἐστί, θῦσαι μὲν τῇ πανδήμῳ δεήσει λευκὴν μηκάδα, τῇ οὐρανίᾳ δὲ τῇ ἐν κήποις δάμαλιν, στεφανῶσαι δὲ καὶ τὴν πλουτοδότειραν, καὶ ὅλως μακάριαι καὶ τρισευδαίμονες ἐσόμεθα. νῦν ὁρᾷς παρὰ τοῦ νεανίσκου ἡλίκα λαμβάνομεν, ὃς ὀβολὸν μὲν οὐδέποτε σοι δέδωκεν, οὐκ ἐσθῆτα, οὐχ ὑποδήματα, οὐ μύρον, ἀλλὰ προφάσεις ἀεὶ καὶ ὑποσχέσεις καὶ μακραὶ ἐλπίδες καὶ πολὺ τό, ἐὰν ὁ πατὴρ..., καὶ κύριος γένωμαι τῶν πατρῴων, καὶ πάντα σά. σὺ δὲ καὶ ὀμωμοκέναι αὐτὸν φῂς ὅτι νόμῳ γαμετὴν ποιήσεταί σε.
MUSARIUM: Yes, mother, he swore by the two goddesses and by the Protectress of Athens.
ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Ὤμοσε γάρ, ὦ μῆτερ, κατὰ ταῖν θεοῖν καὶ τῆς Πολιάδος.
MOTHER: And you believe him, of course. That’s why, the other day when he couldn’t pay his share of the party, you gave him your ring without telling me, and he sold it and spent the money on drink—yes, and the two Ionian necklaces, weighing two Darics apiece, which Praxias, the Chian shipowner had made in Ephesus and brought for you? Chaereas needed to pay his contribution for a dinner with his fellows. Need I mention your gowns and fine linen? He has indeed been a godsend and blessing to us!
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Καὶ πιστεύεις δηλαδή· καὶ διὰ τοῦτο πρῴην οὐκ ἔχοντι αὐτῷ καταθεῖναι συμβολὴν τὸν δακτύλιον δέδωκας ἀγνοούσης ἐμοῦ, ὁ δὲ ἀποδόμενος κατέπιε, καὶ πάλιν τὰ δύο περιδέραια τὰ Ἰωνικά, ἕλκοντα ἑκάτερον δύο δαρεικούς, ἅ σοι ὁ Χῖος Πραξίας ὁ ναύκληρος ἐκόμισε ποιησάμενος ἐν Ἐφέσῳ· ἐδεῖτο γὰρ Χαιρέας ἔρανον συνεφήβοις ἀπενεγκεῖν. ὀθόνας γὰρ καὶ χιτωνίσκους τί ἂν λέγοιμι; καὶ ὅλως ἕρμαιόν τι ἡμῖν καὶ μέγα ὄφελος ἐμπέπτωκεν οὗτος.
2. MUSARIUM: But he’s handsome and smooth-chinned, says he loves me, and cries; he’s the son of Dinomache and Laches, the Areopagite, and says he’ll marry me, and we’ve great hopes of him, if only the old man will fall asleep.
2. ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Ἀλλὰ καλὸς καὶ ἀγένειος, καὶ φησὶν ἐρᾶν καὶ δακρύει καὶ Δεινομάχης καὶ Λάχητος υἱός ἐστι τοῦ Ἀρεοπαγίτου καὶ φησὶν ἡμᾶς γαμήσειν καὶ μεγάλας ἐλπίδας ἔχομεν παρ' αὐτοῦ, ἢν ὁ γέρων μόνον καταμύσῃ.
MOTHER: Well, Musarium, if we want a pair of shoes, and the cobbler asks for two drachmas, we’ll say to him, “We have no money, but let us give you a few of our hopes.” We’ll say the same to the barleymerchant, and, if we’re asked for the rent, we’ll say, “Wait until Laches of Colyttus dies; I’ll pay you after the wedding.” Aren’t you ashamed that you’re the only courtesan without an earring, a necklace, or a lace wrap?
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Οὐκοῦν, ὦ Μουσάριον, ἐὰν ὑποδήσασθαι δέῃ, καὶ ὁ σκυτοτόμος αἰτῇ τὸ δίδραχμον, ἐροῦμεν πρὸς αὐτόν, Ἀργύριον μὲν οὐκ ἔχομεν, σὺ δὲ τῶν ἐλπίδων ὀλίγας παρ' ἡμῶν λαβέ· καὶ πρὸς τὸν ἀλφιτοπώλην τὰ αὐτά· καὶ ἢν τὸ ἐνοίκιον αἰτώμεθα, Περίμεινον, φήσομεν, ἔστ' ἂν Λάχης ὁ Κολυττεὺς ἀποθάνῃ· ἀποδώσω γάρ σοι μετὰ τοὺς γάμους. οὐκ αἰσχύνῃ μόνη τῶν ἑταιρῶν οὐκ ἐλλόβιον οὐχ ὅρμον οὐ ταραντινίδιον ἔχουσα;
3. MUSARIUM: What of it, mother? Are they happier than I am or prettier?
3. ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Τί οὖν, ὦ μῆτερ; ἐκεῖναι εὐτυχέστεραί μου καὶ καλλίους εἰσίν;
MOTHER: No, but they’re more sensible, and know their job; they don’t trust idle words, or young men with promises on the tips of their tongues. But you are constant and affectionate, and won’t have anyone near you but Chaereas. Yes, the other day when the Acharnian farmer came with two minas, though he had smooth cheeks too, and money from the wine his father had sent him to sell, you turned up your nose at him, and slept with your Adonis, Chaereas.
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Οὔκ, ἀλλὰ συνετώτεραι καὶ ἴσασιν ἑταιρίζειν, οὐδὲ πιστεύουσι ῥηματίοις καὶ νεανίσκοις ἐπ' ἄκρου τοῦ χείλους τοὺς ὅρκους ἔχουσι· σὺ δὲ ἡ πιστὴ καὶ φίλανδρος οὐδὲ προσίῃ ἄλλον τινὰ ὅτι μὴ μόνον Χαιρέαν· καὶ πρῴην μὲν ὅτε ὁ γεωργὸς ὁ Ἀχαρνεὺς ἧκε δύο μνᾶς κομίζων, ἀγένειος καὶ αὐτός—οἴνου δὲ τιμὴν ἀπειλήφει τοῦ πατρὸς πέμψαντος—σὺ δὲ ἐκεῖνον μὲν ἀπεμύκτισας, καθεύδεις δὲ μετὰ τοῦ Ἀδώνιδος Χαιρέου.
MUSARIUM: What of it? Was I to leave Chaereas and take that clodhopper smelling of goats? To use the common expression, I find Chaereas smooth, and the Acharnian a rough pig.
ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Τί οὖν; ἐχρῆν Χαιρέαν καταλείψασαν παραδέξασθαι τὸν ἐργάτην ἐκεῖνον κινάβρας ἀπόζοντα; λεῖός μοι, φασί, Χαιρέας καὶ χοιρίσκος Ἁχαρνεύς.
MOTHER: Very well, the other’s a rustic and smells nasty. But what about Antipho, the son of MeneCrates, who promised one mina? You wouldn’t have him either. Wasn’t he handsome and polished and just as young as Chaereas?
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Ἔστω· ἐκεῖνος ἀγροῖκος καὶ πονηρὸν ἀποπνεῖ. τί καὶ Ἀντιφῶντα τὸν Μενεκράτους μνᾶν ὑπισχνούμενον οὐδὲ τοῦτον ἐδέξω; οὐ καλὸς ἦν καὶ ἀστικὸς καὶ ἡλικιώτης Χαιρέου;
4. MUSARIUM: But Chaereas threatened to slit the throats of both of us, if he ever caught me with him.
4. ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Ἀλλ' ἠπείλησε Χαιρέας ἀποσφάξειν ἀμφοτέρους, εἰ λάβοι μέ ποτε μετ' αὐτοῦ.
MOTHER: But ever so many others make that threat. Will you, then, remain without lovers because of that, and live a chaste life, as though you were not a courtesan but a priestess of Demeter, Giver of Laws? Well, I won’t say any more. It’s the Harvest Home to-day; what has he given you for the feast?
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Πόσοι δὲ καὶ ἄλλοι ταῦτα ἀπειλοῦσιν; οὐκοῦν ἀνέραστος σὺ μενεῖς διὰ τοῦτο καὶ σωφρονήσεις καθάπερ οὐχ ἑταίρα, τῆς δὲ Θεσμοφόρου ἱέρειά τις οὖσα; ἐῶ τἆλλα. τήμερον Ἁλῶά ἐστι. τί δέ σοι δέδωκεν ἐς τὴν ἑορτήν;
MUSARIUM: He has nothing to give, mummy dear.
ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Οὐκ ἔχει, ὦ μαννάριον.
MOTHER: Is he the only one who hasn’t found a way of tricking his father, or sent a slave to hoodwink him, or begged from his mother, and threatened to sail off to the wars, if he’s not given anything? No, there he sits, bringing us to ruin, giving nothing himself, and forbidding you to take from those who will give. Do you think you’ll be eighteen for ever, Musarium, or that Chaereas will feel the same when he’s a rich man himself, and his mother finds him a rich match? Do you think he’ll still remember his tears and his kisses and his oaths, when he sees a dowry of five talents or so?
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Μόνος οὗτος οὐ τέχνην εὕρηκεν ἐπὶ τὸν πατέρα, οὐκ οἰκέτην καθῆκεν ἐξαπατήσοντα, οὐκ ἀπὸ τῆς μητρὸς ᾔτησεν ἀπειλήσας ἀποπλευσεῖσθαι στρατευσόμενος, εἰ μὴ λάβοι, ἀλλὰ κάθηται ἡμᾶς ἐπιτρίβων μήτε αὐτὸς διδοὺς μήτε παρὰ τῶν διδόντων ἐῶν λαμβάνειν; σὺ δὲ οἴει, ὦ Μουσάριον, ὀκτωκαίδεκα ἐτῶν ἀεὶ ἔσεσθαι; ἢ τὰ αὐτὰ φρονήσειν Χαιρέαν, ὅταν πλουτῇ μὲν αὐτός, ἡ δὲ μήτηρ γάμον πολυτάλαντον ἐξεύρῃ αὐτῷ; μνησθήσεται ἔτι, οἴει, τότε τῶν δακρύων ἢ τῶν φιλημάτων ἢ τῶν ὅρκων πέντε ἴσως τάλαντα προικὸς βλέπων;
MUSARIUM: He will remember. I can prove it. He’s still unmarried, and has refused to take a wife despite all the bullying and browbeating he’s had to face.
ΜΟΥΣΑΡΙΟΝ: Μνησθήσεται ἐκεῖνος· δεῖγμα δέ· οὐδὲ νῦν γεγάμηκεν, ἀλλὰ καταναγκαζόμενος καὶ βιαζόμενος ἠρνήσατο.
MOTHER: I only hope he won’t play you false. I’ll remind you of my words, Musarium, when that day comes.
ΜΗΤΗΡ: Γένοιτο μὴ ψεύδεσθαι. ἀναμνήσω δέ σε, ὦ Μουσάριον, τότε.