---
title: "Dialogues of the Dead · Νεκρικοὶ διάλογοι"
author: "Lucian"
translator: "Matthew Donald Macleod"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Classical Greek"
section: 16 of 30
url: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-dialogues-of-the-dead/16/
cite: "Lucian, tr. Matthew Donald Macleod, Dialogues of the Dead · Νεκρικοὶ διάλογοι, section 16. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-dialogues-of-the-dead/16/"
---

# Dialogues of the Dead · Νεκρικοὶ διάλογοι

*Lucian, tr. Matthew Donald Macleod*

Diogenes, Menippus, Alexander, Achilles and the rest in Hades, where beauty, wealth and power count for nothing.

> Greek: ed. Matthew Donald Macleod, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0062.tlg066, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Matthew Donald Macleod, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0062.tlg066.perseus-eng3). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (books, chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 16. Dialogue 16

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-dialogues-of-the-dead/16/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-dialogues-of-the-dead/16/#p-N

[¶0] 1. TERPSION: Is this just, Pluto? Me to die at thirty, and old Thucritus, already over ninety, to go on living?

> Greek: 1. ΤΕΡΨΙΩΝ: Τοῦτο, ὦ Πλούτων, δίκαιον, ἐμὲ μὲν τεθνάναι τριάκοντα ἔτη γεγονότα, τὸν δὲ ὑπὲρ τὰ ἐνενήκοντα γέροντα Θούκριτον ζῆν ἔτι;

[¶1] PLUTO: Perfectly just, Terpsion; he lives on without praying for the death of any of his friends, but you spent all your time plotting against him and waiting for his possessions.

> Greek: ΠΛΟΥΤΩΝ: Δικαιότατον μὲν οὖν, ὦ Τερψίων, εἴ γε ὁ μὲν ζῇ μηδένα εὐχόμενος ἀποθανεῖν τῶν φίλων, σὺ δὲ παρὰ πάντα τὸν χρόνον ἐπεβούλευες αὐτῷ περιμένων τὸν κλῆρον.

[¶2] TERPSION: Well, oughtn’t an old man like him, who can no longer make use of his wealth, to depart from life and make way for young men?

> Greek: ΤΕΡΨΙΩΝ: Οὐ γὰρ ἐχρῆν γέροντα ὄντα καὶ μηκέτι χρήσασθαι τῷ πλούτῳ αὐτὸν δυνάμενον ἀπελθεῖν τοῦ βίου παραχωρήσαντα τοῖς νέοις;

[¶3] PLUTO: I never heard the like of this edict of yours, Terpsion, requiring the death of anyone who can no longer use his wealth on pleasure. But Fate and Nature have arranged things otherwise.

> Greek: ΠΛΟΥΤΩΝ: Καινά, ὦ Τερψίων, νομοθετεῖς, τὸν μηκέτι τῷ πλούτῳ χρήσασθαι δυνάμενον πρὸς ἡδονὴν ἀποθνήσκειν· τὸ δὲ ἄλλως ἡ Μοῖρα καὶ ἡ φύσις διέταξεν.

[¶4] 2. TERPSION: Then I object to the present arrangement. It ought to be a matter of turn, with the oldest man first, and after him the next oldest, without the slightest change in the order. Your Methuselah shouldn’t live on, when he has no more than three teeth still left, and is scarcely able to see, supported by four servants, with his nose always running and his eyes bleary, past knowing any of the pleasures of life, a living tomb laughed at by the young men. He shouldn’t live, while handsome lusty young men die. That’s as unnatural as “rivers running backwards ”. The young men ought at least to know when each old man is going to die, so that they wouldn’t waste their attentions upon some of them. But at present, it’s just one more case of the proverbial cart coming before the horse.

> Greek: 2. ΤΕΡΨΙΩΝ: Οὐκοῦν ταύτης αἰτιῶμαι τῆς διατάξεως· ἐχρῆν γὰρ τὸ πρᾶγμα ἑξῆς πως γίνεσθαι, τὸν πρεσβύτερον πρότερον καὶ μετὰ τοῦτον ὅστις καὶ τῇ ἡλικίᾳ μετ' αὐτόν, ἀναστρέφεσθαι δὲ μηδαμῶς, μηδὲ ζῆν μὲν τὸν ὑπέργηρων ὀδόντας τρεῖς ἔτι λοιποὺς ἔχοντα, μόγις ὁρῶντα, οἰκέταις γε τέτταρσιν ἐπικεκυφότα, κορύζης μὲν τὴν ῥῖνα, λήμης δὲ τοὺς ὀφθαλμοὺς μεστὸν ὄντα, οὐδὲν ἔτι ἡδὺ εἰδότα, ἔμψυχόν τινα τάφον ὑπὸ τῶν νέων καταγελώμενον, ἀποθνήσκειν δὲ καλλίστους καὶ ἐρρωμενεστάτους νεανίσκους· ἄνω γὰρ ποταμῶν τοῦτό γε· ἢ τὸ τελευταῖον εἰδέναι γε ἐχρῆν, πότε καὶ τεθνήξεται τῶν γερόντων ἕκαστος, ἵνα μὴ μάτην ἂν ἐνίους ἐθεράπευον. νῦν δὲ τὸ τῆς παροιμίας, ἡ ἅμαξα τὸν βοῦν πολλάκις ἐκφέρει.

[¶5] 3. PLUTO: Things are done much more sensibly than you think, Terpsion. Tell me now, what makes you gape with greed at other people’s property, and foist yourselves upon childless old men? As a result you provide a good laugh, if your burial comes before theirs, and most folk find the situation really delightful. The more you pray for their death, the more delighted people are, if you die first; for there’s never been anything like this art you’ve invented, with your love for old men and women, and for the childless ones in particular, while those with children inspire no love in your hearts. However, many of those you love have seen through the wickedness behind your affection, and, even if they have children, they pretend to hate them, so that they too may have their own lovers. But later, when the wills are read, the bodyguard, for all their years of service, are excluded, and the sons and Nature herself, as is only right, prevail over all of them, and they gnash their teeth in secret at having been made to look such fools.

> Greek: 3. ΠΛΟΥΤΩΝ: Ταῦτα μέν, ὦ Τερψίων, πολὺ συνετώτερα γίνεται ἤπερ σοὶ δοκεῖ. καὶ ὑμεῖς δὲ τί παθόντες ἀλλοτρίοις ἐπιχαίνετε καὶ τοῖς ἀτέκνοις τῶν γερόντων εἰσποιεῖτε φέροντες αὑτούς; τοιγαροῦν γέλωτα ὀφλισκάνετε πρὸ ἐκείνων κατορυττόμενοι, καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα τοῖς πολλοῖς ἥδιστον γίνεται· ὅσῳ γὰρ ὑμεῖς ἐκείνους ἀποθανεῖν εὔχεσθε, τοσούτῳ ἅπασιν ἡδὺ προαποθανεῖν ὑμᾶς αὐτῶν. καινὴν γάρ τινα ταύτην τὴν τέχνην ἐπινενοήκατε γραῶν καὶ γερόντων ἐρῶντες, καὶ μάλιστα εἰ ἄτεκνοι εἶεν, οἱ δὲ ἔντεκνοι ὑμῖν ἀνέραστοι. καίτοι πολλοὶ ἤδη τῶν ἐρωμένων συνέντες ὑμῶν τὴν πανουργίαν τοῦ ἔρωτος, ἢν καὶ τύχωσι παῖδας ἔχοντες, μισεῖν αὐτοὺς πλάττονται, ὡς καὶ αὐτοὶ ἐραστὰς ἔχωσιν· εἶτα ἐν ταῖς διαθήκαις ἀπεκλείσθησαν μὲν οἱ πάλαι δορυφορήσαντες, ὁ δὲ παῖς καὶ ἡ φύσις, ὥσπερ ἐστὶ δίκαιον, κρατοῦσι πάντων, οἱ δὲ ὑποπρίουσι τοὺς ὀδόντας ἀπομυγέντες.

[¶6] 4. TERPSION: True enough. Take me, for example—how much of mine has Thucritus devoured! Yet he always seemed on the point of death, and whenever I came in, would be groaning to himself, and his voice would be as faint and squeaky as an unfledged chicken straight from the egg; and so I, thinking I’d be putting him in his coffin any minute, would send in most of what he got, so that my rivals in love should not outdo me in generosity, and usually I lay awake at night, sleepless with worry, calculating each penny and arranging each move. It is this that has caused my death—the loss of sleep and the worry. But he gobbled down all that bait, and turned up the other day to gloat at my funeral.

> Greek: 4. ΤΕΡΨΙΩΝ: Ἀληθῆ ταῦτα φῄς· ἐμοῦ γοῦν Θούκριτος πόσα κατέφαγεν ἀεὶ τεθνήξεσθαι δοκῶν καὶ ὁπότε εἰσίοιμι ὑποστένων καὶ μύχιόν τι καθάπερ ἐξ ᾠοῦ νεοττὸς ἀτελὴς ὑποκρώζων ὥστ' ἐμε ὅσον αὐτίκα οἰόμενον ἐπιβήσειν αὐτὸν τῆς σοροῦ ἐσπέμπειν τὰ πολλά, ὡς μὴ ὑπερβάλλοιντό με οἱ ἀντερασταὶ τῇ μεγαλοδωρεᾷ, καὶ τὰ πολλὰ ὑπὸ φροντίδων ἄγρυπνος ἐκείμην ἀριθμῶν ἕκαστα καὶ διατάττων. ταῦτα γοῦν μοι καὶ τοῦ ἀποθανεῖν αἴτια γεγένηται, ἀγρυπνία καὶ φροντίδες· ὁ δὲ τοσοῦτόν μοι δέλεαρ καταπιὼν ἐφειστήκει θαπτομένῳ πρῴην ἐπιγελῶν.

[¶7] 5. PLUTO: Well done, Thucritus! Long may you live to keep your wealth, and, at the same time, have the laugh on fellows like that! May you never die till you have seen the funeral of all these toadies!

> Greek: 5. ΠΛΟΥΤΩΝ: Εὖ γε, ὦ Θούκριτε, ζῴης ἐπὶ μήκιστον πλουτῶν ἅμα καὶ τῶν τοιούτων καταγελῶν, μηδὲ πρότερόν γε σὺ ἀποθάνοις ἢ προπέμψας πάντας τοὺς κόλακας.

[¶8] TERPSION: It will give me too, the greatest pleasure Pluto, under the circumstances, if Charoeades is another to die before Thucritus.

> Greek: ΤΕΡΨΙΩΝ: Τοῦτο μέν, ὦ Πλούτων, καὶ ἐμοὶ ἥδιστον ἤδη, εἰ καὶ Χαροιάδης προτεθνήξεται Θουκρίτου.

[¶9] PLUTO: Don’t worry, Terpsion. Not only he but Phidon and Melanthus, and, in fact, all of them will come here before him through the same worries.

> Greek: ΠΛΟΥΤΩΝ: Θάρρει, ὦ Τερψίων· καὶ Φείδων γὰρ καὶ Μέλανθος καὶ ὅλως ἅπαντες προελεύσονται αὐτοῦ ὑπὸ ταῖς αὐταῖς φροντίσιν.

[¶10] TERPSION: I’m glad to hear it. Long life to you, Thucritus.

> Greek: ΤΕΡΨΙΩΝ: Ἐπαινῶ ταῦτα. ζῴης ἐπὶ μήκιστον, ὡ Θούκριτε.