1. SIMYLUS: So, you’ve come to join us at last, Polystratus, after living to be, I think, almost a hundred?
1. ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Ἥκεις ποτέ, ὦ Πολύστρατε, καὶ σὺ παρ' ἡμᾶς ἔτη οἶμαι οὐ πολύ ἀποδέοντα τῶν ἑκατὸν βεβιωκώς;
POLYSTRATUS: Ninety-eight, Simylus.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Ὀκτὼ ἐπὶ τοῖς ἐνενήκοντα, ὦ Σιμύλε.
SIMYLUS: Whatever sort of life did you have for these thirty years after my death? I died when you were about seventy.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Πῶς δαὶ τὰ μετ' ἐμὲ ταῦτα ἐβίως τριάκοντα; ἐγὼ γὰρ ἀμφὶ τὰ ἑβδομήκοντά σου ὄντος ἀπέθανον.
POLYSTRATUS: An exceedingly pleasant life, even if you will think it strange.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Ὑπερήδιστα, εἰ καί σοι παράδοξον τοῦτο δόξει.
SIMYLUS: Strange indeed, if you were not only old and weak but also childless, and yet could enjoy life.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Παράδοξον, εἰ γέρων τε καὶ ἀσθενὴς ἄτεκνός τε προσέτι ἥδεσθαι τοῖς ἐν τῷ βίῳ ἐδύνασο.
2. POLYSTRATUS: At first, I could do anything. I still could enjoy plenty of pretty boys, and the nicest women, unguents and fragrant wine, and a table to outdo any in Sicily.
2. ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Τὸ μὲν πρῶτον ἅπαντα ἐδυνάμην· ἔτι καὶ παῖδες ὡραῖοι ἦσαν πολλοὶ καὶ γυναῖκες ἁβρόταται καὶ μύρα καὶ οἶνος ἀνθοσμίας καὶ τράπεζα ὑπὲρ τὰς ἐν Σικελίᾳ.
SIMYLUS: That’s something new. I knew you to be very sparing.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Καινὰ ταῦτα· ἐγὼ γάρ σε πάνυ φειδόμενον ἠπιστάμην.
POLYSTRATUS: Ah, but the good things came pouring in from others, my good fellow; at crack of dawn crowds of folk would start flocking to my doors, and later in the day all kinds of choice gifts from every corner of the earth would arrive.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Ἀλλ' ἐπέρρει μοι, ὦ γενναῖε, παρὰ ἄλλων τὰ ἀγαθά· καὶ ἕωθεν μὲν εὐθὺς ἐπὶ θύρας ἐφοίτων μάλα πολλοί, μετὰ δὲ παντοῖά μοι δῶρα προσήγετο ἁπανταχόθεν τῆς γῆς τὰ κάλλιστα.
SIMYLUS: Did you become tyrant, Polystratus, after my time?
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Ἐτυράννησας, ὦ Πολύστρατε, μετ' ἐμέ;
POLYSTRATUS: No, but I had thousands of lovers.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Οὔκ, ἀλλ’ ἐραστὰς εἶχον μυρίους.
SIMYLUS: You make me laugh. Lovers? At your age? With only four teeth in your head?
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Ἐγέλασα· ἐραστὰς σὺ τηλικοῦτος ὤν, ὀδόντας τέτταρας ἔχων;
POLYSTRATUS: Yes indeed, the noblest lovers in the city. Though I was old and bald, as you see, yes, and blear-eyed and snivelling too, they were delighted to court me, and anyone of them I favoured with a mere glance thought himself in heaven.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Νὴ Δία, τοὺς ἀρίστους γε τῶν ἐν τῇ πόλει· καὶ γέροντά με καὶ φαλακρόν, ὡς ὁρᾷς, ὄντα καὶ λημῶντα προσέτι καὶ κορυζῶντα ὑπερήδοντο θεραπεύοντες, καὶ μακάριος ἦν αὐτῶν ὅντινα ἂν καὶ μόνον προσέβλεψα.
SIMYLUS: You weren’t another to have a divine passenger, as did Phaon, when he ferried Aphrodite over from Chios, and have your prayers answered, becoming young, handsome and attractive all over again?
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Μῶν καὶ σύ τινα ὥσπερ ὁ Φάων τὴν Ἀφροδίτην ἐκ Χίου διεπόρθμευσας, εἶτά σοι εὐξαμένῳ ἔδωκεν νέον εἶναι καὶ καλὸν ἐξ ὑπαρχῆς καὶ ἀξιέραστον;
POLYSTRATUS: No, I was the desire of all, though just as you see me now.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Οὔκ, ἀλλὰ τοιοῦτος ὢν περιπόθητος ἦν.
SIMYLUS: You’re talking in riddles.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Αἰνίγματα λέγεις.
3. POLYSTRATUS: Yet this great love for rich, childless old men is there for all to see.
3. ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Καὶ μὴν πρόδηλός γε ὁ ἔρως οὑτοσὶ πολὺς ὢν ὁ περὶ τοὺς ἀτέκνους καὶ πλουσίους γέροντας.
SIMYLUS: Now I understand your beauty, you old wonder; it came from the golden Aphrodite.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Νῦν μανθάνω σου τὸ κάλλος, ὦ θαυμάσιε, ὅτι παρὰ τῆς χρυσῆς Ἀφροδίτης ἦν.
POLYSTRATUS: And no small enjoyment, Simylus, my lovers have brought me; I was almost worshipped by them. Often I would be coy, and occasionally bar my door to some of them, but they would vie with each other in their zeal for my affection.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Ἀτάρ, ὦ Σιμύλε, οὐκ ὀλίγα τῶν ἐραστῶν ἀπολέλαυκα μονονουχὶ προσκυνούμενος ὑπ' αὐτῶν· καὶ ἐθρυπτόμην δὲ πολλάκις καὶ ἀπέκλειον αὐτῶν τινας ἐνίοτε, οἱ δὲ ἡμιλλῶντο καὶ ἀλλήλους ὑπερεβάλλοντο ἐν τῇ περὶ ἐμὲ φιλοτιμίᾳ.
SIMYLUS: But what decision did you make about your property in the end?
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Τέλος δ’ οὖν πῶς ἐβουλεύσω περὶ τῶν κτημάτων;
POLYSTRATUS: I would keep saying in public that I had left each of them as my heir, and each would believe me, and show himself more assiduous than ever in his flattery; but all the time my real will was different and I left them—instructions to go to the devil one and all.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Εἰς τὸ φανερὸν μὲν ἕκαστον αὐτῶν κληρονόμον ἀπολιπεῖν ἔφασκον, ὁ δ’ ἐπίστευέν τε ἂν καὶ κολακευτικώτερον παρεσκεύαζεν αὑτόν, ἄλλας δὲ τὰς ἀληθεῖς διαθήκας ἐκείνας ἔχων κατέλιπον οἰμώζειν ἅπασι φράσας.
4. SIMYLUS: And who was the heir under your final will? One of your family, no doubt?POLYSTRATUS: Good heavens no; it was a pretty boy from Phrygia I’d just bought.
4. ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Τίνα δὲ αἱ τελευταῖαι τὸν κληρονόμον ἔσχον; ἦ πού τινα τῶν ἀπὸ τοῦ γένους; ΠΟΛΓΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Οὐ μὰ Δία, ἀλλὰ νεώνητόν τινα τῶν μειρακίων τῶν ὡραίων Φρύγα.
SIMYLUS: What sort of age was he?
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Ἀμφὶ πόσα ἔτη, ὦ Πολύστρατε;
POLYSTRATUS: Roughly about twenty.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Σχεδὸν ἀμφὶ τὰ εἴκοσι.
SIMYLUS: Now I understand how he won your favour.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Ἤδη μανθάνω ἅτινά σοι ἐκεῖνος ἐχαρίζετο.
POLYSTRATUS: Oh well, he deserved to be my heir much more than they did, even if he was a barbarian and a pest. He’s already being courted by the noblest of them all. So he became my heir, and is now numbered among the aristocrats, and, despite his smooth chin and foreign accent, is credited with bluer blood than Codrus, greater beauty than NIreus, and more intelligence than Odysseus.
ΠΟΛΥΣΤΡΑΤΟΣ: Πλὴν ἀλλὰ πολὺ ἐκείνων ἀξιώτερος κληρονομεῖν, εἰ καὶ βάρβαρος ἦν καὶ ὄλεθρος, ὃν ἤδη καὶ αὐτῶν οἱ ἄριστοι θεραπεύουσιν. ἐκεῖνος τοίνυν ἐκληρονόμησέ μου καὶ νῦν ἐν τοῖς εὐπατρίδαις ἀριθμεῖται ὑπεξυρημένος μὲν τὸ γένειον καὶ βαρβαρίζων, Κόδρου δὲ εὐγενέστερος καὶ Νιρέως καλλίων καὶ Ὀδυσσέως συνετώτερος λεγόμενος εἶναι.
SIMYLUS: That doesn’t worry me. Let him even be Generalissimo of Greece, if he wishes to, so long as those fellows don’t inherit.
ΣΙΜΥΛΟΣ: Οὔ μοι μέλει· καὶ στρατηγησάτω τῆς Ἑλλάδος, εἰ δοκεῖ, ἐκεῖνοι δὲ ⟨μὴ⟩ κληρονομείτωσαν μόνον.