1. HEPHAESTUS: What do you want me to do, Zeus? Here I am, as you ordered, all ready with my axe at its sharpest, even if I must chop through stones with a single blow.
1. ΗΦΑΙΣΤΟΣ: Τί με, ὦ Ζεῦ, δεῖ ποιεῖν; ἥκω γάρ, ὡς ἐκέλευσας, ἔχων τὸν πέλεκυν ὀξύτατον, εἰ καὶ λίθους δέοι μιᾷ πληγῇ διατεμεῖν.
ZEUS: That’s grand, Hephaestus. Now, down with it on my head and cut it in two.
ΖΕΥΣ: Εὖ γε, ὦ Ἥφαιστε· ἀλλὰ δίελέ μου τὴν κεφαλὴν εἰς δύο κατενεγκών.
HEPHAESTUS: Are you trying to see if I’m mad? Tell me what you really want me to do.
ΗΦΑΙΣΤΟΣ: Πειρᾷ μου, εἰ μέμηνα; πρόσταττε δ’ οὖν τἀληθὲς ὅπερ θέλεις σοι γενέσθαι.
ZEUS: You heard. I want my skull split. If you don’t obey, I’ll be angry—and you know what that’s like already. Hit away with all your might. Come on, hurry up. The birth-pangs shooting through my brain are killing me.
ΖΕΥΣ: Τοῦτο αὐτό, διαιρεθῆναί μοι τὸ κρανίον· εἰ δὲ ἀπειθήσεις, οὐ νῦν πρῶτον ὀργιζομένου πειράσῃ μου. ἀλλὰ χρὴ καθικνεῖσθαι παντὶ τῷ θυμῷ μηδὲ μέλλειν· ἀπόλλυμαι γὰρ ὑπὸ τῶν ὠδίνων, αἵ μοι τὸν ἐγκέφαλον ἀναστρέφουσιν.
HEPHAESTUS: Take care, Zeus, or I may hurt you. My axe is sharp. You’ll find her a midwife that draws blood and quite different from Ilithyia.
ΗΦΑΙΣΤΟΣ: Ὅρα, ὦ Ζεῦ, μὴ κακόν τι ποιήσωμεν· ὀξὺς γὰρ ὁ πέλεκύς ἐστι καὶ οὐκ ἀναιμωτὶ οὐδὲ κατὰ τὴν Εἰλήθυιαν μαιώσεταί σε.
ZEUS: Hit away, Hephaestus. Don’t be afraid; I know what’s good for me.
ΖΕΥΣ: Κατένεγκε μόνον, ὦ Ἥφαιστε, θαρρῶν· οἶδα γὰρ ἐγὼ τὸ σύμφερον.
HEPHAESTUS: All right, here goes. How can I help it, when it’s your orders? Hullo, what’s this? A girl in armour? That was no small trouble you had in your head. No wonder you were short-tempered, breeding a big girl like that in your brain—and her with armour into the bargain. It wasn’t a head you had but a barracks, though we didn’t know it. She’s leaping up and down in a war-dance, shaking her shield and poising her spear, full of the spirit of battle; and, most wonderful of all, see how good-looking and grown-up she’s become in this short time; she’s got grey eyes, but they go very well with her helmet. So, Zeus, pay me for my services as midwife, by betrothing her to me this minute.
ΗΦΑΙΣΤΟΣ: Κατοίσω· τί γὰρ χρὴ ποιεῖν σοῦ κελεύοντος; τί τοῦτο; κόρη ἔνοπλος; μέγα, ὦ Ζεῦ, κακὸν εἶχες ἐν τῇ κεφαλῇ· εἰκότως γοῦν ὀξύθυμος ἦσθα τηλικαύτην ὑπὸ τὴν μήνιγγα παρθένον ζωογονῶν καὶ ταῦτα ἔνοπλον· ἦ που στρατόπεδον, οὐ κεφαλὴν ἐλελήθεις ἔχων. ἡ δὲ πηδᾷ καὶ πυρριχίζει καὶ τὴν ἀσπίδα τινάσσει καὶ τὸ δόρυ πάλλει καὶ ἐνθουσιᾷ καὶ τὸ μέγιστον, καλὴ πάνυ καὶ ἀκμαία γεγένηται δὴ ἐν βραχεῖ· γλαυκῶπις μέν, ἀλλὰ κοσμεῖ τοῦτο ἡ κόρυς. ὥστε, ὦ Ζεῦ, μαίωτρά μοι ἀπόδος ἐγγυήσας ἤδη αὐτήν.
ZEUS: That’s impossible. She’ll want to remain single for ever, though for my part I’ve no objection to your request.
ΖΕΥΣ: Ἀδύνατα αἰτεῖς, ὦ Ἥφαιστε· παρθένος γὰρ ἀεὶ ἐθελήσει μένειν. ἐγὼ δ’ οὖν τό γε ἐπ' ἐμοὶ οὐδὲν ἀντιλέγω.
HEPHAESTUS: That’s all I wanted to hear. Leave the rest to me. I’ll be off with her right away.
ΗΦΑΙΣΤΟΣ: Τοῦτ' ἐβουλόμην· ἐμοὶ μελήσει τὰ λοιπά, καὶ ἤδη συναρπάσω αὐτήν.
ZEUS: Do so, if you can manage it, but I know that what you want is impossible.
ΖΕΥΣ: Εἴ σοι ῥᾴδιον, οὕτω ποίει· πλὴν οἶδα ὅτι ἀδυνάτων ἐρᾷς.