1. HERMES: To think, Apollo, that a poor cripple and mere artisan like him has married the two fairest of the fair, Aphrodite and Charis!
1. ΕΡΜΗΣ: Τὸ δὲ καὶ χωλὸν αὐτὸν ὄντα καὶ τέχνην ἔχοντα βάναυσον, ὦ Ἄπολλον, τὰς καλλίστας γεγαμηκέναι, τὴν Ἀφροδίτην καὶ τὴν Χάριν.
APOLLO: That’s just good luck, my dear fellow; but what does surprise me is that they can stand living with him, especially when they see him bathed in sweat, bending over his furnace, with soot all over his face. And yet they embrace a creature like that and kiss him and sleep with him.
ΑΠΟΛΛΩΝ: Εὐποτμία τις, ὦ Ἑρμῆ· πλὴν ἐκεῖνό γε θαυμάζω, τὸ ἀνέχεσθαι συνούσας αὐτῷ, καὶ μάλιστα ὅταν ὁρῶσιν ἱδρῶτι ῥεόμενον, εἰς τὴν κάμινον ἐπικεκυφότα, πολλὴν αἰθάλην ἐπὶ τοῦ προσώπου ἔχοντα· καὶ ὅμως τοιοῦτον ὄντα περιβάλλουσί τε αὐτὸν καὶ φιλοῦσι καὶ ξυγκαθεύδουσι.
HERMES: That annoys me too, and makes me jealous of Hephaestus. You can show off your fine hair, Apollo, and play on your harp, and be proud of your beauty, and I of my fine physique and my lyre, but when it comes to bedtime, we’ve got to sleep alone.
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Τοῦτο καὶ αὐτὸς ἀγανακτῶ καὶ τῷ Ἡφαίστῳ φθονῶ· σὺ δὲ κόμα, ὦ Ἄπολλον, καὶ κιθάριζε καὶ μέγα ἐπὶ τῷ κάλλει φρόνει, κἀγὼ ἐπὶ τῇ εὐεξίᾳ, καὶ τῇ λύρᾳ· εἶτα, ἐπειδὰν κοιμᾶσθαι δέῃ, μόνοι καθευδήσομεν.
2. APOLLO: I’m Generally unlucky in love; at least I lost my two special sweethearts, Daphne and Hyacinthus. Daphne so loathes and shuns me that she’s chosen to turn into a tree rather than share my company, and Hyacinthus was killed by that quoit. All that’s left of them for me is wreaths.
2. ΑΠΟΛΛΩΝ: Ἐγὼ μὲν καὶ ἄλλως ἀναφρόδιτός εἰμι εἰς τὰ ἐρωτικὰ καὶ δύο γοῦν, οὓς μάλιστα ὑπερηγάπησα, τὴν Δάφνην καὶ τὸν Ὑάκινθον· ἡ μὲν ἀποδιδράσκει με καὶ μισεῖ, ὥστε εἵλετο ξύλον γενέσθαι μᾶλλον ἢ ἐμοὶ ξυνεῖναι, ὁ δὲ ἀπώλετο ὑπὸ τοῦ δίσκου, καὶ νῦν ἀντ' ἐκείνων στεφάνους ἔχω.
HERMES: And I once with Aphrodite—but I mustn’t boast.
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Ἐγὼ δὲ ἤδη ποτὲ τὴν Ἀφροδίτην—ἀλλὰ οὐ χρὴ αὐχεῖν.
APOLLO: I know. They say she presented you with Hermaphroditus. But tell me, if you can, why Aphrodite and Charis are not jealous of each other.
ΑΠΟΛΛΩΝ: Οἶδα, καὶ τὸν Ἑρμαφρόδιτον ἐκ σοῦ λέγεται τετοκέναι. πλὴν ἐκεῖνό μοι εἰπέ, εἴ τι οἶσθα, πῶς οὐ ζηλοτυπεῖ ἡ Ἀφροδίτη τὴν Χάριν ἢ ἡ Χάρις αὐτήν.
3. HERMES: Because, my dear fellow, Charis keeps company with him in Lemnos, and Aphrodite in heaven. Besides, Aphrodite is most wrapped up in Ares, and in love with him, and so doesn’t trouble much about this blacksmith fellow.
3. ΕΡΜΗΣ: Ὅτι, ὦ Ἄπολλον, ἐκείνη μὲν αὐτῷ ἐν τῇ Λήμνῳ σύνεστιν, ἡ δὲ Ἀφροδίτη ἐν τῷ οὐρανῷ· ἄλλως τε περὶ τὸν Ἄρη ἔχει τὰ πολλὰ κἀκείνου ἐρᾷ, ὥστε ὀλίγον αὐτῇ τοῦ χαλκέως τούτου μέλει.
APOLLO: Do you think Hephaestus knows of this?
ΑΠΟΛΛΩΝ: Καὶ ταῦτα οἴει τὸν Ἥφαιστον εἰδέναι;
HERMES: Of course he does, but what can he do when he sees Ares is such a fine strapping young fellow, and a man of war? So he keeps quiet. But he’s threatening to invent some sort of trap for them, and to catch them in a net on the bed.APOLLO: That’s news to me; but I know I’d like to be destined to fall into that trap myself.
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Οἶδεν· ἀλλὰ τί ἂν δρᾶσαι δύναιτο γενναῖον ὁρῶν νεανίαν καὶ στρατιώτην αὐτόν; ὥστε τὴν ἡσυχίαν ἄγει· πλὴν ἀπειλεῖ γε δεσμά τινα ἐπιμηχανήσεσθαι αὐτοῖς καὶ συλλήψεσθαι σαγηνεύσας ἐπὶ τῆς εὐνῆς. ΑΠΟΛΛΩΝΟΣ: Οὐκ οἶδα· εὐξαίμην δ’ ἂν αὐτὸς ὁ ξυλληφθησόμενος εἶναι.