---
title: "Icaromenippus, or The Sky-Man · Ἰκαρομένιππος ἢ Ὑπερνέφελος"
author: "Lucian"
translator: "Henry Watson Fowler"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Classical Greek"
section: 2 of 2
url: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-icaromenippus/2/
cite: "Lucian, tr. Henry Watson Fowler, Icaromenippus, or The Sky-Man · Ἰκαρομένιππος ἢ Ὑπερνέφελος, section 2. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-icaromenippus/2/"
---

# Icaromenippus, or The Sky-Man · Ἰκαρομένιππος ἢ Ὑπερνέφελος

*Lucian, tr. Henry Watson Fowler*

Menippus flies to heaven with one eagle’s wing and one vulture’s to see how the world looks from above and how Zeus hears prayers.

> Greek: ed. Austin Morris Harmon, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0062.tlg021, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Watson Fowler, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0062.tlg021.perseus-eng4). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 2. Sections 17–34

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-icaromenippus/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-icaromenippus/2/#p-N

[¶0] 17. Menippus: All this was simultaneous, you understand; and you must try to conceive what a queer jumble it all made. It was as if aman were to collect a number of choristers, or rather of choruses, and then tell each individual to disregard the others and start a strain of his own; if each did his best, went his own way, and tried to drown his neighbour, can you imagine what the musical effect would be?

> Greek: 17. Μένιππος: ἁπάντων δὲ τούτων ὑπὸ τὸν αὐτὸν γινομένων χρόνον ὥρα σοι ἤδη ἐπινοεῖν ὁποῖός τις ὁ κυκεὼν οὗτος ἐφαίνετο. ὥσπερ ἂν εἴ τις παραστησάμενος πολλοὺς χορευτάς, μᾶλλον δὲ πολλοὺς χορούς, ἔπειτα προστάξειε τῶν ᾀδόντων ἑκάστῳ τὴν συνῳδίαν ἀφέντα ἴδιον ᾄδειν μέλος, φιλοτιμουμένου δὲ ἑκάστου καὶ τὸ ἴδιον περαίνοντος καὶ τὸν πλησίον ὑπερβαλέσθαι τῇ μεγαλοφωνίᾳ προθυμουμένου — ἆρα ἐνθυμῇ πρὸς Διὸς οἵα γένοιτʼ ἂν ἡ ᾠδή;

[¶1] Friend: A very ridiculous confusion.

> Greek: Ἕταιρος: παντάπασιν, ὦ Μένιππε, παγγέλοιος καὶ τεταραγμένη.

[¶2] Menippus: Well, friend, such are the earthly dancers; the life of man is just such a discordant performance; not only are the voices jangled, but the steps are not uniform, the motions not concerted, the objects not agreed upon—until the impresario dismisses them one by one from the stage, with a ‘not wanted.’ Then they are all alike, and quiet enough, confounding no longer their undisciplined rival strains. But as long as the show lasts in its marvellous diversity, there is plenty of food for _ laughter in its vagaries.

> Greek: Μένιππος: καὶ μήν, ὦ ἑταῖρε, τοιοῦτοι πάντες εἰσὶν οἱ ἐπὶ γῆς χορευταὶ κἀκ τοιαύτης ἀναρμοστίας ὁ τῶν ἀνθρώπων βίος συντέτακται, οὐ μόνον ἀπῳδὰ φθεγγομένων, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀνομοίων τὰ σχήματα καὶ τἀναντία κινουμένων καὶ ταὐτὸν οὐδὲν ἐπινοούντων, ἄχρι ἂν αὐτῶν ἕκαστον ὁ χορηγὸς ἀπελάσῃ τῆς σκηνῆς οὐκέτι δεῖσθαι λέγων· τοὐντεῦθεν δὲ ὅμοιοι πάντες ἤδη σιωπῶντες, οὐκέτι τὴν συμμιγῆ καὶ ἄτακτον ἐκείνην ᾠδὴν ἀπᾴδοντες. ἀλλʼ ἐν αὐτῷ γε ποικίλῳ καὶ πολυειδεῖ τῷ θεάτρῳ πάντα μὲν γελοῖα δήπουθεν ἦν τὰ γινόμενα.

[¶3] 18. Menippus: The people who most amused me, however, were those who dispute about boundaries, or pride themselves on cultivating the plain of Sicyon, or holding the Oenoé side of Marathon, or a thousand acres at Acharnae. The whole of Greece, as I then saw it, might measure some four inches; how much smaller Athens on the same scale. So I realized what sort of sized basis for their pride remains to our rich men. The widest-acred of them all, methought, was the proud cultivator of an Epicurean atom. Then I looked at the Peloponnese, my eyes fell on the Cynurian district, and the thought occurred that it was for this little plot, no broader than an Egyptian lentil, that all those Argives and Spartans fell in a single day, Or if I saw a man puffed up by the possession of seven or eight gold rings and half as many gold cups, again my lungs would begin to crow; why, Pangaeus with all its mines was about the size of a grain of millet.

> Greek: 18. Μένιππος: μάλιστα δὲ ἐπʼ ἐκείνοις ἐπῄει μοι γελᾶν τοῖς περὶ γῆς ὅρων ἐρίζουσι καὶ τοῖς μέγα φρονοῦσιν ἐπὶ τῷ τὸ Σικυώνιον πεδίον γεωργεῖν ἢ Μαραθῶνος ἔχειν τὰ περὶ τὴν Οἰνόην ἢ Ἀχαρνῆσι πλέθρα κεκτῆσθαι χίλια· τῆς γοῦν Ἑλλάδος ὅλης ὡς τότε μοι ἄνωθεν ἐφαίνετο δακτύλων οὔσης τὸ μέγεθος τεττάρων, κατὰ λόγον, οἶμαι, ἡ Ἀττικὴ πολλοστημόριον ἦν. ὥστε ἐνενόουν ἐφʼ ὁπόσῳ τοῖς πλουσίοις τούτοις μέγα φρονεῖν κατελείπετο· σχεδὸν γὰρ ὁ πολυπλεθρότατος αὐτῶν μίαν τῶν Ἐπικουρείων ἀτόμων ἐδόκει μοι γεωργεῖν. ἀποβλέψας δὲ δὴ καὶ ἐς τὴν Πελοπόννησον, εἶτα τὴν Κυνουρίαν γῆν ἰδὼν ἀνεμνήσθην περὶ ὅσου χωρίου, κατʼ οὐδὲν Αἰγυπτίου φακοῦ πλατυτέρου, τοσοῦτοι ἔπεσον Ἀργείων καὶ Λακεδαιμονίων μιᾶς ἡμέρας. καὶ μὴν εἴ τινα ἴδοιμι ἐπὶ χρυσῷ μέγα φρονοῦντα, ὅτι δακτυλίους τε εἶχεν ὀκτὼ καὶ φιάλας τέτταρας, πάνυ καὶ ἐπὶ τούτῳ ἂν ἐγέλων· τὸ γὰρ Πάγγαιον ὅλον αὐτοῖς μετάλλοις κεγχριαῖον ἦν τὸ μέγεθος.

[¶4] 19. Friend: You lucky man! what a rare sight you had! And how big, now, did the towns and the people look from there?

> Greek: 19. Ἕταιρος: ὦ μακάριε Μένιππε τῆς παραδόξου θέας. αἱ δὲ δὴ πόλεις πρὸς Διὸς καὶ οἱ ἄνδρες αὐτοὶ πηλίκοι διεφαίνοντο ἄνωθεν;

[¶5] Menippus: You must often have seen a community of ants, some of them a seething mass, some going abroad, others coming back to town. One is a scavenger, another a bustling porter loaded with a bit of bean-pod or half a wheat grain. They no doubt have, on their modest myrmecic scale, their architects and politicians, their magistrates and composers and philosophers. At any rate, what men and cities suggested to me was just so many ant-hills. If you think the similitude too disparaging, look into the Thessalian legends, and you will find that the most warlike tribe there was the Myrmidons, or ants turned men. Well, when I had had enough of contemplation and laughter, I roused myself and soared
To join the Gods, where dwells the Lord of storms.

> Greek: Μένιππος: οἶμαί σε πολλάκις ἤδη μυρμήκων ἀγορὰν ἑωρακέναι, τοὺς μὲν εἰλουμένους περὶ τὸ στόμα τοῦ φωλεοῦ κἀν τῷ μέσῳ πολιτευομένους, ἐνίους δʼ ἐξιόντας, ἑτέρους δὲ ἐπανιόντας αὖθις εἰς τὴν πόλιν· καὶ ὁ μέν τις τὴν κόπρον ἐκφέρει, ὁ δὲ ἁρπάσας ποθὲν ἢ κυάμου λέπος ἢ πυροῦ ἡμίτομον θεῖ φέρων. εἰκὸς δὲ εἶναι παρʼ αὐτοῖς κατὰ λόγον τοῦ μυρμήκων βίου καὶ οἰκοδόμους τινὰς καὶ δημαγωγοὺς καὶ πρυτάνεις καὶ μουσικοὺς καὶ φιλοσόφους. πλὴν αἵ γε πόλεις αὐτοῖς ἀνδράσι ταῖς μυρμηκιαῖς μάλιστα ἐῴκεσαν. εἰ δέ σοι μικρὸν δοκεῖ τὸ παράδειγμα, τὸ ἀνθρώπους εἰκάσαι τῇ μυρμήκων πολιτείᾳ, τοὺς παλαιοὺς μύθους ἐπίσκεψαι τῶν Θετταλῶν· εὑρήσεις γὰρ τοὺς Μυρμιδόνας, τὸ μαχιμώτατον φῦλον, ἐκ μυρμήκων ἄνδρας γεγονότας. ἐπειδὴ δʼ οὖν πάντα ἱκανῶς ἑώρατο καὶ κατεγεγέλαστό μοι, διασείσας ἐμαυτὸν ἀνεπτόμην δώματʼ ἐς αἰγιόχοιο Διὸς μετὰ δαίμονας ἄλλους.

[¶6] 20. Menippus: I had only flown a couple of hundred yards, when Selene’s feminine voice reached me: ‘Menippus, do me an errand to Zeus, and I will wish you a pleasant journey.’ ‘You have only to name it,’ I said, ‘provided it is not something to carry.’ ‘It is a simple message of entreaty to Zeus. I am tired to death, you must know, of being slandered by these philosophers; they have no better occupation than impertinent curiosity about me—What am I? how big am 1? why am I halved? why am I gibbous? Iam inhabited; I am just a mirror hung over the sea; I am—whatever their latest fancy suggests. It is the last straw when they say my light is stolen, sham, imported from the sun, and keep on doing their best to get up jealousy and ill feeling between brother and sister. They might have been contented with making him out a stone or a red-hot lump.

> Greek: 20. Μένιππος: οὔπω στάδιον ἀνεληλύθειν καὶ ἡ Σελήνη γυναικείαν φωνὴν προϊεμένη, Μένιππε, φησίν, οὕτως ὄναιο, διακόνησαί μοί τι πρὸς τὸν Δία. λέγοις ἄν, ἦν δʼ ἐγώ· βαρὺ γὰρ οὐδέν, ἢν μή τι φέρειν δέῃ. πρεσβείαν, ἔφη, τινὰ οὐ χαλεπὴν καὶ δέησιν ἀπένεγκε παρʼ ἐμοῦ τῷ Διί· ἀπείρηκα γὰρ ἤδη, Μένιππε, πολλὰ καὶ δεινὰ παρὰ τῶν φιλοσόφων ἀκούουσα, οἷς οὐδὲν ἕτερόν ἐστιν ἔργον ἢ τἀμὰ πολυπραγμονεῖν, τίς εἰμι καὶ πηλίκη, καὶ διʼ ἥντινα αἰτίαν διχότομος ἢ ἀμφίκυρτος γίγνομαι. καὶ οἱ μὲν κατοικεῖσθαί μέ φασιν, οἱ δὲ κατόπτρου δίκην ἐπικρέμασθαι τῇ θαλάττῃ, οἱ δὲ ὅ τι ἂν ἕκαστος ἐπινοήσῃ τοῦτό μοι προσάπτουσι. τὰ τελευταῖα δὲ καὶ τὸ φῶς αὐτὸ κλοπιμαῖόν τε καὶ νόθον εἶναί μοί φασιν ἄνωθεν ἧκον παρὰ τοῦ Ἡλίου, καὶ οὐ παύονται καὶ πρὸς τοῦτόν με ἀδελφὸν ὄντα συγκροῦσαι καὶ στασιάσαι προαιρούμενοι· οὐ γὰρ ἱκανὰ ἦν αὐτοῖς ἃ περὶ αὐτοῦ εἰρήκασι τοῦ Ἡλίου, λίθον αὐτὸν εἶναι καὶ μύδρον διάπυρον.

[¶7] 21. Menippus: ‘These gentry who in the day look so stern and manly, dress so gravely, and are so revered by common men, would be surprised to learn how much I know of their vile nightly abominations, I see them all, though I never tell; it would be too indecent to make revelations, and show up the contrast between their nightly doings and their public performances; so, if I catch one of them in adultery or theft or other nocturnal adventure, I pull my cloud veil over me; I do not want the vulgar to see old men disgracing their long beards and their virtuous calling. But they go on giving tongue and worrying me all the same, and, so help me Night, I have thought many a time of going a long, long way off, out of reach of their impertinent tongues. Will you remember to tell Zeus all this? and you may add that I cannot remain at my post unless he will pulverize the physicists, muzzle the logicians, raze the Porch, burn the Academy, and put an end to strolling in the Lyceum. That might secure mea little peace from these daily mensurations.’

> Greek: 21. Μένιππος: καίτοι πόσα ἐγὼ συνεπίσταμαι αὐτοῖς ἃ πράττουσι τῶν νυκτῶν αἰσχρὰ καὶ κατάπτυστα οἱ μεθʼ ἡμέραν σκυθρωποὶ καὶ ἀνδρώδεις τὸ βλέμμα καὶ τὸ σχῆμα σεμνοὶ καὶ ὑπὸ τῶν ἰδιωτῶν ἀποβλεπόμενοι; κἀγὼ μὲν ταῦτα ὁρῶσα ὅμως σιωπῶ· οὐ γὰρ ἡγοῦμαι πρέπειν ἀποκαλύψαι καὶ διαφωτίσαι τὰς νυκτερινὰς ἐκείνας διατριβὰς καὶ τὸν ὑπὸ σκηνῆς ἑκάστου βίον, ἀλλὰ κἄν τινα ἴδω αὐτῶν μοιχεύοντα ἢ κλέπτοντα ἢ ἄλλο τι τολμῶντα νυκτερινώτατον, εὐθὺς ἐπισπασαμένη τὸ νέφος ἐνεκαλυψάμην, ἵνα μὴ δείξω τοῖς πολλοῖς γέροντας ἄνδρας βαθεῖ πώγωνι καὶ ἀρετῇ ἐνασχημονοῦντας. οἱ δὲ οὐδὲν ἀνιᾶσι διασπαράττοντές με τῷ λόγῳ καὶ πάντα τρόπον ὑβρίζοντες, ὥστε νὴ τὴν Νύκτα πολλάκις ἐβουλευσάμην μετοικῆσαι ὅτι πορρωτάτω, ἵνʼ αὐτῶν τὴν περίεργον ἂν γλῶτταν διέφυγον. μέμνησο οὖν ταῦτά τε ἀπαγγεῖλαι τῷ Διὶ καὶ προσθεῖναι δʼ ὅτι μὴ δυνατόν ἐστί μοι κατὰ χώραν μένειν, ἢν μὴ τοὺς φυσικοὺς ἐκεῖνος ἐπιτρίψῃ καὶ τοὺς διαλεκτικοὺς ἐπιστομίσῃ καὶ τὴν Στοὰν κατασκάψῃ καὶ τὴν Ἀκαδημίαν καταφλέξῃ καὶ παύσῃ τὰς ἐν τοῖς περιπάτοις διατριβάς· οὕτω γὰρ ἂν εἰρήνην ἀγάγοιμι καὶ παυσαίμην ὁσημέραι παρʼ αὐτῶν γεωμετρουμένη.

[¶8] 22. Menippus: ‘I will remember,’ said I, and resumed my upward flight to Heaven, through
A region where nor ox nor man had wrought.
For the Moon was soon but a small object, with the Earth entirely hidden behind it. Three days’ flight through the stars, with the Sun on my right hand, brought me close to Heaven; and my first idea was to go straight in as I was; I should easily pass unobserved in virtue of my half-eagleship; for of course the eagle was Zeus’s familiar; on second thoughts, though, my vulture wing would very soon betray me. So, thinking it better not to run any risks, I went up to the door and knocked. Hermes opened, took my name, and hurried off to inform Zeus. After a brief wait I was asked to step in; I was now trembling with apprehension, and I found that the Gods, who were all seated together, were not quite easy themselves. The unexpected nature of the visit was slightly disturbing to them, and they had visions of all mankind arriving at my heels by the same conveyance.

> Greek: 22. Μένιππος: ἔσται ταῦτα, ἦν δʼ ἐγώ, καὶ ἅμα πρὸς τὸ ἄναντες ἔτεινον τὴν ἐπὶ τοῦ οὐρανοῦ, ἔνθα μὲν οὔτε βοῶν οὔτ’ ἀνδρῶν φαίνετο ἔργα· μετʼ ὀλίγον γὰρ καὶ ἡ σελήνη βραχεῖά μοι καθεωρᾶτο καὶ τὴν γῆν ἤδη ἀπέκρυπτον. λαβὼν δὲ τὸν ἥλιον ἐν δεξιᾷ διὰ τῶν ἀστέρων πετόμενος τριταῖος ἐπλησίασα τῷ οὐρανῷ, καὶ τὸ μὲν πρῶτον ἐδόκει μοι ὡς εἶχον εὐθὺς εἴσω παριέναι· ῥᾳδίως γὰρ ᾤμην διαλαθεῖν ἅτε ἐξ ἡμισείας ὢν ἀετός, τὸν δὲ ἀετὸν ἠπιστάμην ἐκ παλαιοῦ συνήθη τῷ Διί· ὕστερον δὲ ἐλογισάμην ὡς τάχιστα καταφωράσουσί με γυπὸς τὴν ἑτέραν πτέρυγα περικείμενον. ἄριστον γοῦν κρίνας τὸ μὴ παρακινδυνεύειν ἔκοπτον προσελθὼν τὴν θύραν. ὑπακούσας δὲ ὁ Ἑρμῆς καὶ τοὔνομα ἐκπυθόμενος ἀπῄει κατὰ σπουδὴν φράσων τῷ Διί, καὶ μετʼ ὀλίγον εἰσεκλήθην πάνυ δεδιὼς καὶ τρέμων, καταλαμβάνω τε πάντας ἅμα συγκαθημένους οὐδὲ αὐτοὺς ἀφρόντιδας· ὑπετάραττε γὰρ ἡσυχῇ τὸ παράδοξον μου τῆς ἐπιδημίας, καὶ ὅσον οὐδέπω πάντας ἀνθρώπους ἀφίξεσθαι προσεδόκων τὸν αὐτὸν τρόπον ἐπτερωμένους.

[¶9] 23. Menippus: But Zeus bent upon me a Titanic glance, awful, penetrating, and spoke: Who art thou? where thy city? who thy kin? At the sound, I nearly died of fear, but remained upright, though mute and paralysed by that thunderous voice. I gradually recovered, began at the beginning, and gave a clear account of myself—how I had been possessed with curiosity about the heavens, had gone to the philosophers, found their accounts conflicting, and grown tired of being logically rent in twain; so I came to my great idea, my wings, and ultimately to Heaven; I added Selene’s message. Zeus smiled and slightly unbent his brow. ‘What of Otus and Ephialtes now?’ he said; ‘here is Menippus scaling Heaven! “Well, well, for to-day consider yourself our guest. To-morrow we will treat with you of your business, and send you on your way.’ And therewith he rose and walked to the acoustic centre of Heaven, it being prayer time.

> Greek: 23. Μένιππος: ὁ δὲ Ζεὺς μάλα φοβερῶς, δριμύ τε καὶ τιτανῶδες εἰς ἐμὲ ἀπιδών, φησί Τίς πόθεν εἶς ἀνδρῶν, πόθι τοι πόλις ἠδὲ τοκῆες; Ἐγὼ δὲ ὡς τοῦτʼ ἤκουσα„ μικροῦ μὲν ἐξέθανον ὑπὸ τοῦ δέους, εἱστήκειν δὲ ὅμως ἀχανὴς καὶ ὑπὸ τῆς μεγαλοφωνίας ἐμβεβροντημένος. χρόνῳ δʼ ἐμαυτὸν ἀναλαβὼν ἅπαντα διηγούμην σαφῶς ἄνωθεν ἀρξάμενος, ὡς ἐπιθυμήσαιμι τὰ μετέωρα ἐκμαθεῖν, ὡς ἔλθοιμι παρὰ τοὺς φιλοσόφους, ὡς τἀναντία λεγόντων ἀκούσαιμι, ὡς ἀπαγορεύσαιμι διασπώμενος ὑπὸ τῶν λόγων, εἶτα ἑξῆς τὴν ἐπίνοιαν καὶ τὰ πτερὰ καὶ τὰ ἄλλα πάντα μέχρι πρὸς τὸν οὐρανόν· ἐπὶ πᾶσι δὲ προσέθηκα τὰ ὑπὸ τῆς Σελήνης ἐπεσταλμένα. μειδιάσας δʼ οὖν ὁ Ζεὺς καὶ μικρὸν ἐπανεὶς τῶν ὀφρύων, τί ἂν λέγοις, φησίν, Ὤτου πέρι καὶ Ἐφιάλτου, ὅπου καὶ Μένιππος ἐτόλμησεν ἐς τὸν οὐρανὸν ἀνελθεῖν; ἀλλὰ νῦν μὲν ἐπὶ ξένια σε καλοῦμεν, αὔριον δέ, ἔφη, περὶ ὧν ἥκεις χρηματίσαντες ἀποπέμψομεν. καὶ ἅμα ἐξαναστὰς ἐβάδιζεν ἐς τὸ ἐπηκοώτατον τοῦ οὐρανοῦ· καιρὸς γὰρ ἦν ἐπὶ τῶν εὐχῶν καθέζεσθαι.

[¶10] 24. Menippus: As he went, he put questions to me about earthly affairs, beginning with, What was wheat a quarter in Greece? had we suffered much from cold last winter? and did the vegetables want more rain? Then he wished to know whether any of Phidias’s kin were alive, why there had been no Diasia at Athens all these years, whether his Olympieum was ever going to be completed, and had the robbers of his temple at Dodona been caught? I answered all these questions, and he proceeded:—‘Tell me, Menippus, what are men’s feelings towards me?’ ‘What should they be, Lord, but those of absolute reverence, as to the King of all Gods?’ ‘Now, now, chaffing as usual,’ he said; ‘I know their fickleness very well, for all your dissimulation. There was a time when I was their prophet, their healer, and their all,
And Zeus filled every street and gathering-place.
In those days Dodona and Pisa were glorious and far-famed, and I could not get a view for the clouds of sacrificial steam. But now Apollo has set up his oracle at Delphi, Asclepius his temple of health at Pergamum, Bendis and Anubis and Artemis their shrines in Thrace, Egypt, Ephesus; and to these all run; theirs the festal gatherings and the hecatombs. As for me, I am superannuated; they think themselves very generous if they offer me a victim at Olympia at four-year intervals. My altars are cold as Plato’s Laws or Chrysippus’s Syllogisms.’

> Greek: 24. Μένιππος: μεταξύ τε προϊὼν ἀνέκρινέ με περὶ τῶν ἐν τῇ γῇ πραγμάτων, τὰ πρῶτα μὲν ἐκεῖνα, πόσου νῦν ὁ πυρός ἐστιν ὤνιος ἐπὶ τῆς Ἑλλάδος, καὶ εἰ σφόδρα ὑμῶν ὁ πέρυσι χειμὼν καθίκετο, καὶ εἰ τὰ λάχανα δεῖται πλείονος ἐπομβρίας. μετὰ δὲ ἠρώτα εἴ τις ἔτι λείπεται τῶν ἀπὸ Φειδίου καὶ διʼ ἣν αἰτίαν ἐλλείποιεν Ἀθηναῖοι τὰ Διάσια τοσούτων ἐτῶν, καὶ εἰ τὸ Ὀλυμπίειον αὐτῷ ἐπιτελέσαι διανοοῦνται, καὶ εἰ συνελήφθησαν οἱ τὸν ἐν Δωδώνῃ νεὼν σεσυληκότες. ἐπεὶ δὲ περὶ τούτων ἀπεκρινάμην, εἰπέ μοι, Μένιππε, ἔφη, περὶ δὲ ἐμοῦ οἱ ἄνθρωποι τίνα γνώμην ἔχουσι; τίνα, ἔφην, δέσποτα, ἢ τὴν εὐσεβεστάτην, βασιλέα σε πάντων εἶναι θεῶν; παίζεις ἔχων, ἔφη· τὸ δὲ φιλόκαινον αὐτῶν ἀκριβῶς οἶδα, κἂν μὴ λέγῃς. ἦν γάρ ποτε χρόνος, ὅτε καὶ μάντις ἐδόκουν αὐτοῖς καὶ ἰατρὸς καὶ πάντα ὅλως ἦν ἐγώ,
μεσταὶ δὲ Διὸς πᾶσαι μὲν ἀγυιαί,
πᾶσαι δ' ἀνθρώπων ἀγοραί·
καὶ ἡ Δωδώνη τότε καὶ ἡ Πῖσα λαμπραὶ καὶ περίβλεπτοι πᾶσιν ἦσαν, ὑπὸ δὲ τοῦ καπνοῦ τῶν θυσιῶν οὐδὲ ἀναβλέπειν μοι δυνατόν· ἐξ οὗ δὲ ἐν Δελφοῖς μὲν Ἀπόλλων τὸ μαντεῖον κατεστήσατο, ἐν Περγάμῳ δὲ τὸ ἰατρεῖον ὁ Ἀσκληπιὸς καὶ τὸ Βενδίδειον ἐγένετο ἐν Θρᾴκῃ καὶ τὸ Ἀνουβίδειον ἐν Αἰγύπτῳ καὶ τὸ Ἀρτεμίσιον ἐν Ἐφέσῳ, ἐπὶ ταῦτα μὲν ἅπαντες θέουσι καὶ πανηγύρεις ἀνάγουσι καὶ ἑκατόμβας παριστᾶσι καὶ χρυσᾶς πλίνθους ἀνατιθέασιν ἐμὲ δὲ παρηβηκότα ἱκανῶς τετιμηκέναι νομίζουσιν, ἂν διὰ πέντε ὅλων ἐτῶν θύσωσιν ἐν Ὀλυμπίᾳ. τοιγαροῦν ψυχροτέρους ἄν μου τοὺς βωμοὺς ἴδοις τῶν Πλάτωνος νόμων ἢ τῶν Χρυσίππου συλλογισμῶν.

[¶11] 25. Menippus: So talking, we reached the spot where he was to sit and listen to the prayers. There was a row of openings with lids like wellcovers, and a chair of gold by each. Zeus took his seat at the first, lifted off the lid and inclined his ear. From every quarter of Earth were coming the most various and contradictory petitions; for I too bent down my head and listened. Here are specimens. ‘O Zeus, that I might be king!’ ‘O Zeus, that my onions and garlic might thrive!’ ‘Ye Gods, a speedy death for my father!? Or again, ‘Would that I might succeed to my wife’s property!’ ‘Grant that my plot against my brother be not detected.’ ‘Let me win my suit. ‘Give me an Olympic garland.’ Of those at sea, one prayed for a north, another for a south wind; the farmer asked for rain, the fuller for sun. Zeus listened, and gave each prayer careful consideration, but without promising to grant them all;
Our Father this bestowed, and that withheld.
Righteous prayers he allowed to come up through the hole, received and laid them down at his right, while he sent the unholy ones packing with a downward puff of breath, that Heaven might not be defiled by their entrance. In one case I saw him puzzled; two men praying for opposite things and promising the same sacrifices, he could not tell which of them to favour, and experienced a truly Academic suspense of judgement, showing a reserve and equilibrium worthy of Pyrrho himself.

> Greek: 25. Μένιππος: τοιαῦθʼ ἅμα διεξιόντες ἀφικνούμεθα ἐς τὸ χωρίον ἔνθα ἔδει αὐτὸν καθεζόμενον διακοῦσαι τῶν εὐχῶν. θυρίδες δὲ ἦσαν ἑξῆς τοῖς στομίοις τῶν φρεάτων ἐοικυῖαι πώματα ἔχουσαι, καὶ παρʼ ἑκάστῃ θρόνος ἔκειτο χρυσοῦς. καθίσας οὖν ἑαυτόν·ἑαυτόν· ἐπὶ τῆς πρώτης ὁ Ζεὺς καὶ ἀφελὼν τὸ πῶμα παρεῖχε τοῖς εὐχομένοις ἑαυτόν·ἑαυτόν· εὔχοντο δὲ πανταχόθεν τῆς γῆς διάφορα καὶ ποικίλα. συμπαρακύψας γὰρ καὶ αὐτὸς ἐπήκουον ἅμα τῶν εὐχῶν. ἦσαν δὲ τοιαίδε, ὦ Ζεῦ, βασιλεῦσαί μοι γένοιτο· ὦ Ζεῦ, τὰ κρόμμυά μοι φῦναι καὶ τὰ σκόροδα· Ὦ θεοί, τὸν πατέρα μοι ταχέως ἀποθανεῖν ὁ δέ τις ἂν ἔφη, εἴθε κληρονομήσαιμι τῆς γυναικός, εἴθε λάθοιμι ἐπιβουλεύσας τῷ ἀδελφῷ, γένοιτό μοι νικῆσαι τὴν δίκην, δὸς στεφθῆναι τὰ Ὀλύμπια. τῶν πλεόντων δὲ ὁ μὲν βορέαν εὔχετο ἐπιπνεῦσαι, ὁ δὲ νότον, ὁ δὲ γεωργὸς ᾔτει ὑετόν, ὁ δὲ γναφεὺς ἥλιον. ἐπακούων δὲ ὁ Ζεὺς καὶ τὴν εὐχὴν ἑκάστην ἀκριβῶς ἐξετάζων οὐ πάντα ὑπισχνεῖτο, ἀλλʼ ἕτερον μὲν ἔδωκε πατήρ, ἕτερον δʼ ἀνένευσε· τὰς μὲν γὰρ δικαίας τῶν εὐχῶν προσίετο ἄνω διὰ τοῦ στομίου καὶ ἐπὶ τὰ δεξιὰ κατετίθει φέρων, τὰς δὲ ἀνοσίους ἀπράκτους αὖθις ἀπέπεμπεν ἀποφυσῶν κάτω, ἵνα μηδὲ πλησίον γένοιντο τοῦ οὐρανοῦ. ἐπὶ μιᾶς δέ τινος εὐχῆς καὶ ἀποροῦντα αὐτὸν ἐθεασάμην· δύο γὰρ ἀνδρῶν τἀναντία εὐχομένων καὶ τὰς ἴσας θυσίας ὑπισχνουμένων οὐκ εἶχεν ὁποτέρῳ μᾶλλον ἐπινεύσειεν αὐτῶν, ὥστε δὴ τὸ Ἀκαδημαϊκὸν ἐκεῖνο ἐπεπόνθει καὶ οὐδέν τι ἀποφήνασθαι δυνατὸς ἦν, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ὁ Πύρρων ἐπεῖχεν ἔτι καὶ διεσκέπτετο.

[¶12] 26. Menippus: The prayers disposed of, he went on to the next chair and opening, and attended to oaths and their takers. These done with, and Hermodorus the Epicurean annihilated, he proceeded to the next chair to deal with omens, prophetic voices, and auguries, ‘Then came the turn of the sacrifice aperture, through which the smoke came up and communicated to Zeus the name of the devotee it represented. After that, he was free to give his wind and weather orders:—Rain for Scythia to-day, a thunderstorm for Libya, snow for Greece. The north wind he instructed to blow in Lydia, the west to raise a storm in the Adriatic, the south to take a rest; a thousand bushels of hail to be distributed over Cappadocia.

> Greek: 26. Μένιππος: ἐπεὶ δὲ ἱκανῶς ἐχρημάτισε ταῖς εὐχαῖς, ἐπὶ τὸν ἑξῆς μεταβὰς θρόνον καὶ τὴν δευτέραν θυρίδα κατακύψας τοῖς ὅρκοις ἐσχόλαζε καὶ τοῖς ὀμνύουσι. χρηματίσας δὲ καὶ τούτοις καὶ τὸν Ἐπικούρειον Ἑρμόδωρον ἐπιτρίψας μετεκαθέζετο ἐπὶ τὸν ἑξῆς θρόνον κληδόσι καὶ φήμαις καὶ οἰωνοῖς προσέξων. εἶτʼ ἐκεῖθεν ἐπὶ τὴν τῶν θυσιῶν θυρίδα μετῄει, διʼ ἧς ὁ καπνὸς ἀνιὼν ἀπήγγελλε τῷ Διὶ τοῦ θύοντος ἑκάστου τοὔνομα. ἀποστὰς δὲ τούτων προσέταττε τοῖς ἀνέμοις καὶ ταῖς ὥραις ἃ δεῖ ποιεῖν· τήμερον παρὰ Σκύθαις ὑέτω, παρὰ Λίβυσιν ἀστραπτέτω, παρʼ Ἕλλησι νιφέτω, σὺ δὲ ὁ Βορέας πνεῦσον ἐν Λυδίᾳ, σὺ δὲ ὁ Νότος ἡσυχίαν ἄγε, ὁ δὲ Ζέφυρος τὸν Ἀδρίαν διακυμαινέτω, καὶ τῆς χαλάζης ὅσον μέδιμνοι χίλιοι διασκεδασθήτωσαν ὑπὲρ Καππαδοκίας, Μένιππος: ἁπάντων δὲ ἤδη σχεδὸν αὐτῷ διῳκημένων ἀπῄειμεν ἐς τὸ συμπόσιον·

[¶13] 27. Menippus: His work was now pretty well completed, and as it was just dinner time, we went to the banquet hall. Hermes received. me, and gave me my place next to a group of Gods whose alien origin left them in a rather doubtful position—Pan, the Corybants, Attis, and Sabazius. I was supplied with bread by Demeter, wine by Dionysus, meat by Heracles, myrtle-blossoms by Aphrodite, and sprats by Posidon. But I also got a sly taste of ambrosia and nectar; good-natured Ganymede, as often as he saw that Zeus’s attention was engaged elsewhere, brought round the nectar and indulged me with a half-pint or so. The Gods, as Homer (who I think must have had the same opportunities of observation as myself) somewhere says, neither eat bread nor drink the ruddy wine; they heap their plates with ambrosia, and are nectar-bibbers; but their choicest dainties are the smoke of sacrifice ascending with rich fumes, and the blood of victims poured by their worshippers round the altars. During dinner, Apollo harped, Silenus danced his wild measures, the Muses uprose and sang to us from Hesiod’s Birth of Gods, and the first of Pindar’s odes. When we had our fill and had well drunken, we slumbered, each where he was, Menippus:
Slept all the Gods, and men with plumed helms,
That livelong night; but me kind sleep forsook;
for I had much upon my mind; most of all, how came it that Apollo, in all that time, had never grown a beard?

> Greek: 27. δείπνου γὰρ ἤδη καιρὸς ἦν· καί με ὁ Ἑρμῆς παραλαβὼν κατέκλινε παρὰ τὸν Πᾶνα καὶ τοὺς Κορύβαντας καὶ τὸν Ἄττιν καὶ τὸν Σαβάζιον, τοὺς μετοίκους τούτους καὶ ἀμφιβόλους θεούς. καὶ ἄρτον τε ἡ Δημήτηρ παρεῖχε καὶ ὁ Διόνυσος οἶνον καὶ ὁ Ἡρακλῆς κρέα καὶ μύρτα ἡ Ἀφροδίτη καὶ ὁ Ποσειδῶν μαινίδας. ἅμα δὲ καὶ τῆς ἀμβροσίας ἠρέμα καὶ τοῦ νέκταρος παρεγευόμην· ὁ γὰρ βέλτιστος Γανυμήδης ὑπὸ φιλανθρωπίας εἰ θεάσαιτο ἀποβλέποντά που τὸν Δία, κοτύλην ἂν ἢ καὶ δύο τοῦ νέκταρος ἐνέχει μοι φέρων. οἱ δὲ θεοί, ὡς Ὅμηρός που λέγει (καὶ αὐτός, οἶμαι, καθάπερ ἐγὼ τἀκεῖ τεθεαμένος), οὔτε σῖτον ἔδουσιν, οὐ πίνους’ αἴθοπα οἶνον, ἀλλὰ τὴν ἀμβροσίαν παρατίθενται καὶ τοῦ νέκταρος μεθύσκονται, μάλιστα δὲ ἥδονται σιτούμενοι τὸν ἐκ τῶν θυσιῶν καπνὸν αὐτῇ κνίσῃ ἀνενηνεγμένον καὶ τὸ αἷμα δὲ τῶν ἱερείων, ὃ τοῖς βωμοῖς οἱ θύοντες περιχέουσιν. ἐν δὲ τῷ δείπνῳ ὅ τε Ἀπόλλων ἐκιθάρισε καὶ ὁ Σιληνὸς κόρδακα ὠρχήσατο καὶ αἱ Μοῦσαι ἀναστᾶσαι τῆς τε Ἡσιόδου Θεογονίας ᾖσαν ἡμῖν καὶ τὴν πρώτην ᾠδὴν τῶν ὕμνων τῶν Πινδάρου. κἀπειδὴ κόρος ἦν, ἀνεπαυόμεθα ὡς εἶχεν ἕκαστος ἱκανῶς ὑποβεβρεγμένοι.

[¶14] 28. and how was night possible in Heaven, with the sun always there taking his share of the good cheer? So I had but a short nap of it. And in the morning Zeus arose, and bade summon an assembly.

> Greek: 28. Μένιππος:
ἄλλοι μέν ῥα θεοί τε καὶ ἀνέρες ἱπποκορυσταὶ
εὗδον παννύχιοι, ἐμὲ δʼ οὐκ ἔχε νήδυμος ὕπνος·
ἀνελογιζόμην γὰρ πολλὰ μὲν καὶ ἄλλα, μάλιστα δὲ ἐκεῖνα, πῶς ἐν τοσούτῳ χρόνῳ ὁ Ἀπόλλων οὐ φύσειε πώγωνα ἢ πῶς γίνοιτο νὺξ ἐν οὐρανῷ τοῦ ἡλίου παρόντος ἀεὶ καὶ συνευωχουμένου. τότε μὲν οὖν μικρόν τι κατέδαρθον. ἕωθεν δὲ διαναστὰς ὁ Ζεὺς προσέταττε κηρύττειν ἐκκλησίαν.

[¶15] 29. Menippus: When all were gathered, he thus commenced:— 'The immediate occasion of my summoning you is the arrival of this stranger yesterday. But I have long intended to take counsel with you regarding the philosophers, and now, urged by Selene and her complaints, I have determined to defer the consideration of the question no longer. There is a class which has recently become conspicuous among men; they are idle, quarrelsome, vain, irritable, lickerish, silly, puffed up, arrogant, and, in Homeric phrase, vain cumberers of the earth. These men have divided themselves into bands, each dwelling in a separate word-maze of its own construction, and call themselves Stoics, Epicureans, Peripatetics, and more farcical names yet. Then they take to themselves the holy name of Virtue, and with uplifted brows and flowing beards exhibit the deceitful semblance that hides immoral lives; their model is the tragic actor, from whom if you strip off the mask and the gold-spangled robe, there is nothing left but a paltry fellow hired for a few shillings to play a part.

> Greek: 29. Μένιππος: κἀπειδὴ παρῆσαν ἅπαντες, ἄρχεται λέγειν· Τὴν μὲν αἰτίαν τοῦ συναγαγεῖν ὑμᾶς ὁ χθιζὸς οὗτος ξένος παρέσχηται· πάλαι δὲ βουλόμενος ὑμῖν κοινώσασθαι περὶ τῶν φιλοσόφων, μάλιστα ὑπὸ τῆς Σελήνης καὶ ὧν ἐκείνη μέμφεται προτραπεὶς ἔγνων μηκέτʼ ἐπὶ πλέον παρατεῖναι τὴν διάσκεψιν. γένος γάρ τι ἀνθρώπων ἐστὶν οὐ πρὸ πολλοῦ τῷ βίῳ ἐπιπολάσαν ἀργὸν φιλόνεικον κενόδοξον ὀξύχολον ὑπόλιχνον ὑπόμωρον τετυφωμένον ὕβρεως ἀνάπλεων καὶ ἵνα καθʼ Ὅμηρον εἴπω ἐτώσιον ἄχθος ἀρούρης. οὗτοι τοίνυν εἰς συστήματα διαιρεθέντες καὶ διαφόρους λόγων λαβυρίνθους ἐπινοήσαντες οἱ μὲν Στωϊκοὺς ὠνομάκασιν ἑαυτούς, οἱ δὲ Ἀκαδημαϊκούς, οἱ δὲ Ἐπικουρείους, οἱ δὲ Περιπατητικοὺς καὶ ἄλλα πολλῷ γελοιότερα τούτων· ἔπειτα δὲ ὄνομα σεμνὸν τὴν ἀρετὴν περιθέμενοι καὶ τὰς ὀφρῦς ἐπάραντες καὶ τὰ μέτωπα ῥυτιδώσαντες καὶ τοὺς πώγωνας ἐπισπασάμενοι περιέρχονται ἐπιπλάστῳ σχήματι κατάπτυστα ἤθη περιστέλλοντες, ἐμφερεῖς μάλιστα τοῖς τραγικοῖς ἐκείνοις ὑποκριταῖς, ὧν ἢν ἀφέλῃ τις τὰ προσωπεῖα καὶ τὴν χρυσόπαστον ἐκείνην στολήν, τὸ καταλειπόμενόν ἐστι γελοῖον ἀνθρώπιον ἑπτὰ δραχμῶν ἐς τὸν ἀγῶνα μεμισθωμένον.

[¶16] 30. Menippus: ‘Nevertheless, quite undeterred by their own characters, they scorn the human and travesty the divine; they gather a company of guileless youths, and feed them with solemn chatter upon Virtue and quibbling verbal puzzles; in their pupils’ presence they are all for fortitude and temperance, and have no words bad enough for wealth and pleasure: when they are by themselves, there is no limit to their gluttony, their lechery, their licking of dirty pence. But the head and front of their offending is this: they neither work themselves nor help others’ work; they are useless drones,
Of no avail in council nor in war;
which notwithstanding, they censure others; they store up poisoned words, they con invectives, they heap their neighbours with reproaches; their highest honours are for him who shall be loudest and most overbearing and boldest in abuse.

> Greek: 30. Μένιππος: τοιοῦτοι δὲ ὄντες ἀνθρώπων μὲν ἁπάντων καταφρονοῦσι, περὶ θεῶν δὲ ἀλλόκοτα διεξέρχονται· καὶ συνάγοντες εὐεξαπάτητα μειράκια τήν τε πολυθρύλητον ἀρετὴν τραγῳδοῦσι καὶ τὰς τῶν λόγων ἀπορίας ἐκδιδάσκουσι, καὶ πρὸς μὲν τοὺς μαθητὰς καρτερίαν ἀεὶ καὶ σωφροσύνην καὶ τὸ αὐταρκὲς ἐπαινοῦσι καὶ πλούτου καὶ ἡδονῆς καταπτύουσι, μόνοι δὲ καὶ καθʼ ἑαυτοὺς γενόμενοι τί ἂν λέγοι τις ὅσα μὲν ἐσθίουσιν, ὅσα δὲ ἀφροδισιάζουσιν, ὅπως δὲ περιλείχουσι τῶν ὀβολῶν τὸν ῥύπον; τὸ δὲ πάντων δεινότατον, ὅτι μηδὲν αὐτοὶ μήτε κοινὸν μήτε ἴδιον ἐπιτελοῦντες, ἀλλʼ ἀχρεῖοι καὶ περιττοὶ καθεστῶτες οὔτε ποτʼ ἐν πολέμῳ ἐναρίθμιοι οὔτʼ ἐνὶ βουλῇ, ὅμως τῶν ἄλλων κατηγοροῦσι καὶ λόγους τινὰς πικροὺς συμφορήσαντες καὶ λοιδορίας καινὰς ἐκμεμελετηκότες ἐπιτιμῶσι καὶ ὀνειδίζουσι τοῖς πλησίον, καὶ οὗτος αὐτῶν τὰ πρῶτα φέρεσθαι δοκεῖ ὃς ἂν μεγαλοφωνότατός τε ᾖ καὶ ἰταμώτατος καὶ πρὸς τὰς βλασφημίας θρασύτατος.

[¶17] 31. Menippus: 'Ask one of these brawling bawling censors, And what do you do? in God’s name, what shall we call your contribution to progress? and he would reply, if conscience and truth were anything to him: I consider it superfluous to sail the sea or till the earth or fight for my country or follow a trade; but I have a loud voice and a dirty body; I eschew warm water and go barefoot through the winter; I am a Momus who can always pick holes in other people’s coats; ifarich man keeps a costly table or a mistress, I make it my business to be properly horrified; but if my familiar friend is lying sick, in need of help and care, I am not aware of it. Such, your Godheads, is the nature of this vermin.

> Greek: 31. Μένιππος: καίτοι τὸν διατεινόμενον αὐτὸν καὶ βοῶντα καὶ κατηγοροῦντα τῶν ἄλλων ἢν ἔρῃ, σὺ δὲ δὴ τί πράττων τυγχάνεις ἢ τί φῶμεν πρὸς θεῶν σε πρὸς τὸν βίον συντελεῖν; φαίη ἄν, εἰ τὰ δίκαια καὶ ἀληθῆ θέλοι λέγειν, ὅτι πλεῖν μὲν ἢ γεωργεῖν ἢ στρατεύεσθαι ἤ τινα τέχνην μετιέναι περιττὸν εἶναί μοι δοκεῖ, κέκραγα δὲ καὶ αὐχμῶ καὶ ψυχρολουτῶ καὶ ἀνυπόδητος τοῦ χειμῶνος περιέρχομαι καὶ τρίβωνα ῥυπαρὸν περιβέβλημαι καὶ ὥσπερ ὁ Μῶμος τὰ ὑπὸ τῶν ἄλλων γιγνόμενα συκοφαντῶ, καὶ εἰ μέν τις ὠψώνηκε τῶν πλουσίων πολυτελῶς ἢ ἑταίραν ἔχει, τοῦτο πολυπραγμονῶ καὶ ἀγανακτῶ, εἰ δὲ τῶν φίλων τις ἢ ἑταίρων κατάκειται νοσῶν ἐπικουρίας τε καὶ θεραπείας δεόμενος, ἀγνοῶ. Τοιαῦτα μέν ἐστιν ὑμῖν, ὦ θεοί, ταῦτα τὰ θρέμματα.

[¶18] 32. Menippus: ‘There is a special insolence in those who call themselves Epicureans; these go so far as to lay their hands on our character; we take no interest in human affairs, they say, and in fact have nothing to do with the course of events. And this is a serious question for you; if once they infect their generation with this view, you will learn what hunger means. Who will sacrifice to you, if he does not expect to profit by it? As to Selene’s complaints, you all heard them yesterday from this stranger’s lips. And now decide upon such measures as shall advantage mankind and secure your own safety.’

> Greek: 32. Μένιππος: οἱ δὲ δὴ Ἐπικούρειοι αὐτῶν λεγόμενοι μάλα δὴ καὶ ὑβρισταί εἰσι καὶ οὐ μετρίως ἡμῶν καθάπτονται μήτε ἐπιμελεῖσθαι τῶν ἀνθρωπίνων λέγοντες τοὺς θεοὺς μήτε ὅλως τὰ γιγνόμενα ἐπισκοπεῖν· ὥστε ὥρα ὑμῖν λογίζεσθαι διότι ἢν ἅπαξ οὗτοι πεῖσαι τὸν βίον δυνηθῶσιν, οὐ μετρίως πεινήσετε. τίς γὰρ ἂν ἔτι θύσειεν ὑμῖν πλέον οὐδὲν ἕξειν προσδοκῶν; ἃ μὲν γὰρ ἡ Σελήνη αἰτιᾶται, πάντες ἠκούσατε τοῦ ξένου χθὲς διηγουμένου. πρὸς ταῦτα βουλεύεσθε ἃ καὶ τοῖς ἀνθρώποις γένοιτʼ ἂν ὠφελιμώτατα καὶ ἡμῖν ἀσφαλέστατα.

[¶19] 33. Menippus: Zeus had no sooner closed his speech than clamour prevailed, all crying at once: Blast! burn! annihilate! to the pit with them! to Tartarus! to the Giants! Zeus ordered silence again, and then, ‘Your wishes,’ he said, ‘shall be executed; they shall all be annihilated, and their logic with them. But just at present chastisement is not lawful; you are aware that - we are now in the four months of the long vacation; the formal notice has lately been issued. In the spring of next year, the baleful levin-bolt shall give them the fate they deserve.’ He spake, and sealed his word with lowering brows.

> Greek: 33. Μένιππος: εἰπόντος ταῦτα τοῦ Διὸς ἡ ἐκκλησία διετεθορύβητο, καὶ εὐθὺς ἐβόων ἅπαντες, κεραύνωσον, κατάφλεξον ἐπίτριψον, ἐς τὸ βάραθρον, ἐς τὸν Τάρταρον, ὡς τοὺς Γίγαντας. ἡσυχίαν δὲ ὁ Ζεὺς αὖθις παραγγείλας, ἔσται ταῦτα ὡς βούλεσθε, ἔφη, καὶ πάντες ἐπιτρίψονται αὐτῇ διαλεκτικῇ, πλὴν τό γε νῦν εἶναι οὐ θέμις κολασθῆναί τινα· ἱερομηνία γάρ ἐστιν, ὡς ἴστε, μηνῶν τούτων τεττάρων, καὶ ἤδη τὴν ἐκεχειρίαν περιηγγειλάμην. ἐς νέωτα οὖν ἀρχομένου ἦρος κακοὶ κακῶς ἀπολοῦνται τῷ σμερδαλέῳ κεραυνῷ. ἦ καὶ κυανέῃσιν ἐπʼ ὀφρύσι νεῦσε Κρονίων.

[¶20] 34. Menippus: ‘As to Menippus,’ he added, ‘my pleasure is this. He shall be deprived of his wings, and so incapacitated for repeating his visit, but shall to-day be conveyed back to Earth by Hermes.’ So saying, he dismissed the assembly. The Cyllenian accordingly lifted me up by the right ear, and yesterday evening deposited me in the Ceramicus. And now, friend, you have all the latest from Heaven. I must be off to the Poecile, to let the philosophers loitering there know the luck they are in. Henry Watson Fowler

> Greek: 34. Μένιππος: περὶ δὲ τουτουὶ Μενίππου ταῦτα, ἔφη, μοι δοκεῖ· περιαιρεθέντα αὐτὸν τὰ πτερά, ἵνα μὴ καὶ αὖθις ἔλθῃ ποτέ, ὑπὸ τοῦ Ἑρμοῦ ἐς τὴν γῆν κατενεχθῆναι τήμερον καὶ ὁ μὲν ταῦτα εἰπὼν διέλυσε τὸν σύλλογον, ἐμὲ δὲ ὁ Κυλλήνιος τοῦ δεξιοῦ ὠτὸς ἀποκρεμάσας περὶ ἑσπέραν χθὲς κατέθηκε φέρων ἐς τὸν Κεραμεικόν. Ἅπαντα ἀκήκοας, ἅπαντα, ὦ ἑταῖρε, τἀξ οὐρανοῦ· ἄπειμι τοίνυν καὶ τοῖς ἐν τῇ Ποικίλῃ περιπατοῦσι τῶν φιλοσόφων αὐτὰ ταῦτα εὐαγγελιούμενος.