---
title: "Saturnalia · Τὰ πρὸς Κρόνον"
author: "Lucian"
translator: "Kenneth Kilburn"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Classical Greek"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/
cite: "Lucian, tr. Kenneth Kilburn, Saturnalia · Τὰ πρὸς Κρόνον. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/"
---

# Saturnalia · Τὰ πρὸς Κρόνον

*Lucian, tr. Kenneth Kilburn*

Cronus explains the festival of misrule, and the poor and the rich exchange letters.

> Greek: ed. Kenneth Kilburn, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0062.tlg055, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Kenneth Kilburn, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0062.tlg055.perseus-eng3). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Sections 1–19](https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/1.md)
2. [Sections 20–39](https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/2.md)

## 1. Sections 1–19

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/1/#p-N

[¶0] 1. PRIEST: Cronus, you seem to be king just now, and it is you to whom we have offered sacrifices and we have received favourable omens. Now, what precise return for these rites would you give me if I asked?

> Greek: 1. ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Ὦ Κρόνε, σὺ γὰρ ἔοικας ἄρχειν τό γε νῦν εἶναι καὶ σοὶ τέθυται καὶ κεκαλλιέρηται παρ’ ἡμῶν, τί ἂν μάλιστα ἐπὶ τῶν ἱερῶν αἰτήσας λάβοιμι παρὰ σοῦ;

[¶1] CRONUS: In this case the proper procedure is for you to have made your own decision what to pray for, unless you expect your king to be a diviner as well and know what request would please you. As far as lies within my power I shall not deny your prayer.

> Greek: ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Τοῦτο μὲν αὐτόν σε καλῶς ἔχει ἐσκέφθαι ὅ τι σοι εὐκτέον, εἰ μὴ καὶ μάντιν ἅμα ἐθέλεις εἶναι τὸν ἄρχοντα, εἰδέναι τί σοι ἥδιον αἰτεῖν. ἐγὼ δὲ τά γε δυνατὰ οὐκ ἀνανεύσω πρὸς τὴν εὐχήν.

[¶2] PRIEST: My decision was made a long time ago. I shall ask for the usual, obvious things—wealth, a lot of gold, to be lord of an estate, to own many slaves, clothing, bright-coloured and soft, silver, ivory, and everything else that is worth something. Grant me some part of this, my dearest Cronus, so that I too may profit from your reign, and may not spend my whole life as the only one who gets no benefit.

> Greek: ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Ἀλλὰ πάλαι ἔσκεμμαι. ἐρῶ γὰρ τὰ κοινὰ ταυτὶ καὶ πρόχειρα—πλοῦτον καὶ χρυσὸν πολὺν καὶ ἀγρῶν δεσπότην εἶναι καὶ ἀνδράποδα πολλὰ κεκτῆσθαι καὶ ἐσθῆτας εὐανθεῖς καὶ μαλακὰς καὶ ἄργυρον καὶ ἐλέφαντα καὶ τὰ ἄλλα ὁπόσα τίμια. τούτων οὖν, ὦ ἄριστε Κρόνε, δίδου μοι, ὥς τι καὶ αὐτὸν ἀπολαῦσαι τῆς σῆς ἀρχῆς μηδὲ ἄμοιρον εἶναι μόνον αὐτὸν διὰ παντὸς τοῦ βίου.

[¶3] 2. CRONUS: There! That request is beyond me. It is not mine to distribute things of that sort. So don’t be discontented if you don’t get them, but ask Zeus when the sovereignty comes round to him, as it will do presently. I take over the kingship on set terms. My entire reign is for seven days; the moment this period is over I am a private citizen and, I suppose, one of the common herd. But during the seven days I have agreed to conduct no business whatever, not even in politics. What I may do is drink and be drunk, shout, play games and dice, appoint masters of the revels, feast the servants, sing stark naked, clap and shake, and sometimes even get pushed head-first into cold water with my face smeared with soot. Such great gifts as wealth and gold Zeus distributes to whomsoever he pleases.

> Greek: 2. ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Ὁρᾷς; οὐ κατ’ ἐμὲ τοῦτο ᾔτησας. οὐ γὰρ ἐμὸν διανέμειν τὰ τοιαῦτα. ὥστε μὴ ἄχθου, εἰ ἀτυχήσειας αὐτῶν, ἀλλ’ αἴτει παρὰ τοῦ Διός, ὁπόταν εἰς ἐκεῖνον ἡ ἀρχὴ περιέλθῃ μετ’ ὀλίγον. ἐγὼ δ’ ἐπὶ ῥητοῖς παραλαμβάνω τὴν δυναστείαν. ἑπτὰ μὲν ἡμερῶν ἡ πᾶσα βασιλεία, καὶ ἢν ἐκπρόθεσμος τούτων γένωμαι, ἰδιώτης εὐθύς εἰμι καί που τοῦ πολλοῦ δήμου εἷς. ἐν αὐταῖς δὲ ταῖς ἑπτὰ σπουδαῖον μὲν οὐδὲν οὐδὲ ἀγοραῖον διοικήσασθαί μοι συγκεχώρηται, πίνειν δὲ καὶ μεθύειν καὶ βοᾶν καὶ παίζειν καὶ κυβεύειν καὶ ἄρχοντας καθιστάναι καὶ τοὺς οἰκέτας εὐωχεῖν καὶ γυμνὸν ᾄδειν καὶ κροτεῖν ὑποτρέμοντα, ἐνίοτε δὲ καὶ ἐς ὕδωρ ψυχρὸν ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν ὠθεῖσθαι ἀσβόλῳ κεχρισμένον τὸ πρόσωπον, ταῦτα ἐφεῖταί μοι ποιεῖν. τὰ μεγάλα δὲ ἐκεῖνα, τὸν πλοῦτον καὶ τὸ χρυσίον, ὁ Ζεὺς διαδίδωσιν οἷς ἂν ἐθέλῃ.

[¶4] 3. PRIEST: But even Zeus, Cronus, is not ready or open-handed in his gifts. At any rate I’ve shouted for them till I’m worn out, yet he doesn’t listen at all. No, he shakes his aegis and brandishes his thunderbolt with a fierce stare and terrifies those who bother him. If ever he does nod assent to anyone and make him rich, there is a great lack of discrimination about it. He sometimes passes over the good and wise and lavishes riches on wicked and stupid people, most of them criminals and effeminates. But the things you can do—these are what I want to know.

> Greek: 3. ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Ἀλλ’ οὐδ’ ἐκεῖνος, ὦ Κρόνε, ῥᾳδίως καὶ προχείρως. ἐγὼ γ’ οὖν ἤδη ἀπηγόρευκα αἰτῶν μεγάλῃ τῇ φωνῇ, ὁ δ’ οὐκ ἐπαΐει τὸ παράπαν, ἀλλὰ τὴν αἰγίδα ἐπισείων καὶ τὸν κεραυνὸν ἐπανατεινόμενος δριμὺ ἐνορῶν ἐκπλήττει τοὺς ἐνοχλοῦντας. ἢν δέ ποτε καὶ ἐπινεύσῃ τινὶ καὶ πλούσιον ποιῇ, πολὺ τὸ ἄκριτον ἐνταῦθα, καὶ τοὺς ἀγαθοὺς ἐνίοτε καὶ συνετοὺς ἀφεὶς ὁ δὲ παμπονήροις τε καὶ ἀνοήτοις ἀνδράσι περιχεῖ τὸν πλοῦτον, μαστιγίαις ἢ ἀνδρογύνοις τοῖς πλείστοις αὐτῶν. πλὴν τά γε σοὶ δυνατὰ ἐθέλω εἰδέναι τίνα ταῦτά ἐστιν.

[¶5] 4. CRONUS: They are not entirely of no importance or altogether contemptible when judged in relation to the prerogatives of omnipotence—unless you think it trivial to win at dice, and when others are rolling singles always to be turning up sixes yourself. At any rate many men have got themselves more than enough to eat in this sort of way, men to whom the die will give a gracious and generous nod. Then again, there are those who have swum out to safety without a stitch of clothing when their ship has foundered on the die’s tiny reef. Again, to drink the most delightful drinks, to be acclaimed a better singer in your cups than the next man, to see the others who serve at table with you thrown into the water as the penalty for their clumsy service while you are proclaimed victor and win the sausage as prize—do you see what a blessing that is? Again, to become sole king of all with a win at the knuckle-bones, so that you not only escape silly orders but can give them yourself, telling one man to shout out something disgraceful about himself, another to dance naked, pick up the flute-girl, and carry her three times round the house—surely this is proof of my generosity? And if you criticise this kingdom as not real or lasting you will be unreasonable when you know that I myself who dispense these blessings have the sovereignty for only a short time. So do not hesitate to ask for any of these things which I can give you: gaming, lordship of the feast, singing and all that I have enumerated, in the assurance that I shall not in any circumstances frighten you with the aegis and the thunderbolt.

> Greek: 4. ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Οὐ μικρὰ ὅλως οὐδὲ παντάπασιν εὐκαταφρόνητα ὡς πρὸς τὴν δύναμιν ἐξετάζεσθαι τῆς συμπάσης ἀρχῆς—εἰ μή σοί γε μικρὸν δοκεῖ τὸ νικᾶν κυβεύοντα καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις ἐς τὴν μονάδα κυλιομένου τοῦ κύβου σοὶ τὴν ἑξάδα ὑπεράνω ἀεὶ φαίνεσθαι. πολλοὶ γοῦν ἐς κόρον ἀπὸ τοῦ τοιούτου ἐπεσιτίσαντο, οἷς ἵλεως καὶ φορὸς ὁ κύβος ἐπινεύσει· οἱ δὲ ἔμπαλιν γυμνοὶ ἐξενήξαντο συντριβέντος αὐτοῖς τοῦ σκάφους περὶ οὕτω μικρῷ ἕρματι τῷ κύβῳ. καὶ μὴν καὶ πιεῖν ἐς τὸ ἥδιστον καὶ ᾠδικώτερον ἄλλου δόξαι ᾆσαι ἐν τῷ συμποσίῳ καὶ διακονουμένων τοὺς μὲν ἄλλους ἐς τὸ ὕδωρ ἐμπεσεῖν—τοῦτο γὰρ τοὐπιτίμιον τῆς ἀδεξίου διακονίας—σὲ δὲ ἀνακηρυχθῆναι καλλίνικον καὶ τἆθλα φέρεσθαι τὸν ἀλλᾶντα—ὁρᾷς ἡλίκον τὸ ἀγαθόν; ἔτι καὶ βασιλέα μόνον ἐφ’ ἁπάντων γενέσθαι τῷ ἀστραγάλῳ κρατήσαντα, ὡς μήτε ἐπιταχθείης γελοῖα ἐπιτάγματα καὶ αὐτὸς ἐπιτάττειν ἔχοις, τῷ μὲν αἰσχρόν τι περὶ αὑτοῦ ἀναβοῆσαι, τῷ δὲ γυμνὸν ὀρχήσασθαι καὶ ἀράμενον τὴν αὐλητρίδα τρὶς τὴν οἰκίαν περιελθεῖν—πῶς οὐχὶ καὶ ταῦτα δείγματα μεγαλοδωρίας τῆς ἐμῆς; εἰ δὲ τὸ μὴ ἀληθῆ μηδὲ βέβαιον γίγνεσθαι τὴν τοιαύτην βασιλείαν αἰτιάσει, ἄγνωμον ποιήσεις ὁρῶν αὐτὸν ἐμὲ τὸν ταῦτα διανέμοντα ὀλιγοχρόνιον τὴν ἀρχὴν ἔχοντα. τούτων δ’ οὖν ἅ μοι δυνατὰ δοῦναι, τῶν πεττῶν, τοῦ ἄρχειν, τοῦ ᾄδειν καὶ τῶν ἃ κατηριθμησάμην, θαρρῶν αἴτει, ὡς ἐμοῦ πρὸς οὐδὲν δεδιξομένου σε τῇ αἰγίδι καὶ τῷ κεραυνῷ.

[¶6] 5. PRIEST: Why, best of Titans, I need nothing like that. But answer me this—I have longed to know, and if you tell me it will be an adequate return for the sacrifice and I release you from future debts.

> Greek: 5. ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Ἀλλ’, ὦ Τιτάνων ἄριστε, τῶν μὲν τοιούτων οὐ δέομαι, σὺ δὲ ἀλλ’ ἐκεῖνό μοι ἀπόκριναι, ὃ μάλιστα ἐπόθουν εἰδέναι, καί μοι ἢν εἴπῃς αὐτό, ἱκανὴν ἔσει τὴν ἀμοιβὴν ἀποδεδωκὼς ἀντὶ τῆς θυσίας, καὶ πρὸς τὸ λοιπὸν ἀφίημί σοι τὰ χρέα.

[¶7] CRONUS: Just ask what you want. I shall answer if I happen to know.

> Greek: ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Ἐρώτα μόνον. ἀποκρινοῦμαι γάρ, ἢν εἰδὼς τύχω.

[¶8] PRIEST: This first: whether what we often hear about you is true, that you ate up Rhea’s children, but she put Zeus out of the way, substituting a stone for you to swallow down instead of the child; then, when he grew up, he beat you in war and drove you from the sovereignty; he took you to Tartarus, put fetters on you and all the allies who sided with you, and threw you in.

> Greek: ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Τὸ μὲν πρῶτον ἐκεῖνο, εἰ ἀληθῆ ταῦτά ἐστιν ἃ περὶ σοῦ ἀκούομεν, ὡς κατήσθιες τὰ γεννώμενα ὑπὸ τῆς Ῥέας, ἐκείνη δὲ ὑφελομένη τὸν Δία λίθον ὑποβαλλομένη ἀντὶ τοῦ βρέφους ἔδωκέ σοι καταπιεῖν, ὁ δὲ εἰς ἡλικίαν ἀφικόμενος ἐξήλασέ σε τῆς ἀρχῆς πολέμῳ κρατήσας, εἶτα ἐς τὸν Τάρταρον φέρων ἐνέβαλε πεδήσας αὐτόν τε καὶ τὸ συμμαχικὸν ἅπαν, ὁπόσον μετὰ σοῦ παρετάττετο.

[¶9] CRONUS: If it were not festival-time, my man, and if you weren’t allowed to get drunk and cheek your masters with impunity, you would have found out that I’m allowed to be angry at any rate—asking such questions and showing no respect for a grey-haired old god like me!

> Greek: ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Εἰ μὴ ἑορτήν, ὦ οὗτος, ἤγομεν καὶ μεθύειν ἐφεῖτο καὶ λοιδορεῖσθαι τοῖς δεσπόταις ἐπ’ ἐξουσίας, ἔγνως ἂν ὡς ὀργίζεσθαι γοῦν ἐφεῖταί μοι, τοιαῦτα ἐρωτήσας, οὐκ αἰδεσθεὶς πολιὸν οὕτω καὶ πρεσβύτην θεόν.

[¶10] PRIEST: Now I don’t say this on my own, Cronus. Hesiod and Homer say so; I’m not sure that I should tell you that the rest of mankind too believes pretty much the same about you.

> Greek: ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Κἀγὼ ταῦτα, ὦ Κρόνε, οὐ παρ’ ἐμαυτοῦ φημι, ἀλλ’ Ἡσίοδος καὶ Ὅμηρος, ὀκνῶ γὰρ λέγειν ὅτι καὶ οἱ ἄλλοι ἅπαντες ἄνθρωποι σχεδὸν ταῦτα πεπιστεύκασι περὶ σοῦ.

[¶11] 6. CRONUS: Do you imagine that that shepherd, that impostor, has any sound knowledge of me? Look at it this way: would any man (I will not say god) put up with eating his own children of his own free will, unless he were some Thyestes who unluckily had an impious brother? Suppose he were as mad as this; then how would he fail to recognise he was eating a stone and not a child, unless he had no feeling in his teeth? No, there was no fighting, nor does Zeus rule his empire by force; I handed it to him and abdicated quite voluntarily. That I am neither in chains nor in Tartarus I suppose you see for yourself, unless you are as blind as Homer.

> Greek: 6. ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Οἴει γὰρ τὸν ποιμένα ἐκεῖνον, τὸν ἀλαζόνα, ὑγιές τι περὶ ἐμοῦ εἰδέναι; σκόπει δὲ οὕτως. ἔσθ’ ὅστις ἄνθρωπος (οὐ γὰρ θεὸν ἐρῶ) ὑπομείνειεν ἂν ἑκὼν αὐτὸς καταφαγεῖν τὰ τέκνα, εἰ μή τις Θυέστης ὢν ἀσεβεῖ ἀδελφῷ περιπεσὼν ἤσθιε; καὶ εἰ τοῦτο μανείη, πῶς ἀγνοήσει λίθον ἀντὶ βρέφους ἐσθίων, εἰ μὴ ἀνάλγητος εἴη τοὺς ὀδόντας; ἀλλ’ οὔτε ἐπολεμήσαμεν οὔτε ὁ Ζεὺς βίᾳ τὴν ἀρχὴν, ἑκόντος δέ μου παραδόντος αὐτῷ καὶ ὑπεκστάντος, ἄρχει. ὅτι μὲν γὰρ οὔτε πεπέδημαι οὔτε ἐν τῷ Ταρτάρῳ εἰμί, καὶ αὐτὸς ὁρᾷς οἶμαι εἰ μὴ τυφλὸς ὥσπερ Ὅμηρος εἶ.

[¶12] 7. PRIEST: Why ever did you let the sovereignty go, Cronus?

> Greek: 7. ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Τί παθὼν δέ, ὦ Κρόνε, ἀφῆκας τὴν ἀρχήν;

[¶13] CRONUS: I will tell you. In brief it was because I was old and gouty owing to my years. That is why people suppose that I had been put into chains. I hadn’t the strength to deal with all the injustice of the present generation, but I had to run up and down with my thunderbolt at the ready, setting fire to perjurers, temple-robbers, or men of violence; the whole business was very strenuous and needed a young man’s energy. So I abdicated, thank goodness, in favour of Zeus. Besides, I thought it a good idea to divide the kingdom between my sons, and for myself to spend most of my time in quiet enjoyment of the good things of life, not engaged with people making vows or annoyed by those who make contradictory requests, neither thundering nor lightening nor having to throw hail occasionally. No, I live this pleasant life of an old man, drinking stiff nectar and chatting with Iapetus and my other cronies, and Zeus is king with all the worry. Nevertheless I thought it best to filch these few days on the terms I mentioned, and I take over the sovereignty again to remind mankind what life was like under me, when everything grew for them without sowing and without ploughing—not ears of wheat, but loaves ready-baked and meats ready-cooked. Wine flowed like a river, and there were springs of honey and milk; for everyone was good, pure gold. This is the reason for my short-lived dominion, and why everywhere there is clapping and singing and playing games, and everyone, slave and free man, is held as good as his neighbour. There was no slavery, you see, in my time.

> Greek: ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Ἐγώ σοι φράσω. τὸ μὲν ὅλον, γέρων ἤδη καὶ ποδαγρὸς ὑπὸ τοῦ χρόνου ὤν. διὸ καὶ πεπεδῆσθαί με οἱ πολλοὶ εἴκασαν. οὐ γὰρ ἠδυνάμην διαρκεῖν πρὸς οὕτω πολλὴν τὴν ἀδικίαν τῶν νῦν, ἀλλ’ ἀεὶ ἀναθεῖν ἔδει ἄνω καὶ κάτω τὸν κεραυνὸν διηρμένον τοὺς ἐπιόρκους ἢ ἱεροσύλους ἢ βιαίους καταφλέγοντα, καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα πάνυ ἐργῶδες ἦν καὶ νεανικόν. ἐξέστην οὖν εὖ ποιῶν τῷ Διί. καὶ ἄλλως δὲ καλῶς ἔχειν ἐδόκει μοι διανείμαντα τοῖς παισὶν οὖσι τὴν ἀρχὴν αὐτὸν εὐωχεῖσθαι τὰ πολλὰ ἐφ’ ἡσυχίας οὔτε τοῖς εὐχομένοις χρηματίζοντα οὔτε ὑπὸ τῶν τἀναντία αἰτούντων ἐνοχλούμενον οὔτε βροντῶντα ἢ ἀστράπτοντα ἢ χάλαζαν ἐνίοτε βάλλειν ἀναγκαζόμενον· ἀλλὰ πρεσβυτικόν τινα τοῦτον ἥδιστον βίον διάγω ζωρότερον πίνων τὸ νέκταρ, τῷ Ἰαπετῷ καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις τοῖς ἡλικιώταις προσμυθολογῶν· ὁ δὲ ἄρχει μυρία ἔχων πράγματα. πλὴν ὀλίγας ταύτας ἡμέρας ἐφ’ οἷς εἶπον ὑπεξελέσθαι μοι ἔδοξε καὶ ἀναλαμβάνω τὴν ἀρχήν, ὡς ὑπομνήσαιμι τοὺς ἀνθρώπους οἷος ἦν ὁ ἐπ’ ἐμοῦ βίος, ὁπότε ἄσπορα καὶ ἀνήροτα πάντα ἐφύετο αὐτοῖς, οὐ στάχυες, ἀλλ’ ἕτοιμος ἄρτος καὶ κρέα ἐσκευασμένα, καὶ ὁ οἶνος ἔρρει ποταμηδὸν καὶ πηγαὶ μέλιτος καὶ γάλακτος· ἀγαθοὶ γὰρ ἦσαν καὶ χρυσοῖ ἅπαντες. αὕτη μοι ἡ αἰτία τῆς ὀλιγοχρονίου ταύτης δυναστείας, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο ἁπανταχοῦ κρότος καὶ ᾠδὴ καὶ παιδιὰ καὶ ἰσοτιμία πᾶσι καὶ δούλοις καὶ ἐλευθέροις. οὐδεὶς γὰρ ἐπ’ ἐμοῦ δοῦλος ἦν.

[¶14] 8. PRIEST: Well, Cronus, I had assumed from the story that this humanity you showed to slaves and those in chains was to do honour to men whose sufferings had been like your own, since you yourself had been a slave and you were remembering your chains.

> Greek: 8. ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Ἐγὼ δέ, ὦ Κρόνε, καὶ τοῦτο εἴκαζον τὸ εἰς τοὺς δούλους καὶ πεδότριβας φιλάνθρωπον ἐκ τοῦ μυθου ἐκείνου ποιεῖν σε τιμῶντα τοὺς τὰ ὅμοια πάσχοντας, ἅτε καὶ αὐτὸν δουλεύοντα, μεμνημένον τῆς πέδης.

[¶15] CRONUS: Oh, stop that silly talk.

> Greek: ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Οὐ παύσῃ γὰρ τοιαῦτα ληρῶν;

[¶16] PRIEST: You are right. I will stop. But answer me another question. Was it customary for men to gamble in your time?

> Greek: ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Εὖ λέγεις, καὶ παύσομαι. πλὴν ἔτι μοι κα τοῦτο ἀπόκριναι. τὸ πεττεύειν σύνηθες ἦν τοῖς ἐπὶ σοῦ ἀνθρώποις;

[¶17] CRONUS: Certainly. But not for talents and thousands of drachmas as you do. No, nuts were the highest stake. Then there was no heart-break if a man was beaten, or floods of tears because he alone had lost the price of a meal.

> Greek: ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Καὶ μάλα, οὐ μὴν περὶ ταλάντων γε καὶ μυριάδων ὥσπερ ὑμῖν, ἀλλὰ περὶ καρύων τὸ μέγιστον, ὡς μὴ ἀνιᾶσθαι ἡττηθέντα μηδὲ δακρύειν ἀεὶ ἄσιτον ὄντα μόνον τῶν ἄλλων.

[¶18] PRIEST: How wise they were! What could their stakes be when they were pure gold themselves? But while you were talking I thought of something: suppose one of your men of beaten gold had been brought into our world for everyone to see, what a bad time the poor wretch would have had at people’s hands! They would have certainly rushed at him and torn him limb from limb, as the Maenads tore Pentheus, the Thracians Orpheus, and the dogs Actaeon, vying with each other to carry off the biggest piece. Not even at festival-time are they free from greed for gain. Indeed most of them have made your festival a source of revenue. Some of them go off and rob their friends at the banquet; others revile you when they ought not and smash the dice, which are certainly not responsible for what they do of their own free will.

> Greek: ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Εὖ γε ἐκεῖνοι ποιοῦντες. ὑπὲρ τίνος γὰρ ἂν καὶ ἐπέττευον αὐτοὶ ὁλόχρυσοι ὄντες; ὡς ἔγωγε καὶ μεταξὺ λέγοντός σου τοιόνδε τι ἐνενόησα· εἴ τις ἕνα τῶν ἀνδρῶν ἐκείνων τῶν χρυσηλάτων ἐς τὸν ἡμέτερον τοῦτον βίον ἀγαγὼν ἔδειξε τοῖς πολλοῖς, οἷα ἔπαθεν ἂν ὁ ἄθλιος ὑπ’ αὐτῶν; διεσπάσαντο γὰρ ἂν αὐτὸν εὖ οἶδ’ ὅτι ἐπιδραμόντες ὥσπερ τὸν Πενθέα αἱ Μαινάδες ἢ αἱ Θρᾷτται τὸν Ὀρφέα ἢ τὸν Ἀκταίωνα αἱ κύνες, περὶ τοῦ μεῖζον ἀπενέγκασθαι τὸ μέρος πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἕκαστος ἁμιλλώμενοι, οἵ γε οὐδὲ ἑορτάζοντες ἔξω τοῦ φιλοκερδοῦς εἰσιν, ἀλλὰ πρόσοδον οἱ πολλοὶ πεποίηνται τὴν ἑορτήν. εἶτα οἱ μὲν ἀπέρχονται λῃστεύοντες ἐν τῷ συμποσίῳ τοὺς φίλους, οἱ δέ σοί τε λοιδοροῦνται, οὐδὲν δέον, καὶ τοὺς κύβους συντρίβουσιν ἀναιτίους ὄντας αὐτοῖς ὧν ἑκόντες ποιοῦσιν.

[¶19] 9. But tell me this as well: why, when you are such a soft-living god and old at that, have you chosen the most unpleasant time of the year, when the snow covers everything, the North wind is strong, everything is frozen, trees are withered and bare and leafless, fields are ugly and without bloom, and men are bent like old, old men, most of them hard by the stove? The season is not good for the old or for lovers of easy living.
CRONUS: You are asking me a lot of questions, my man, when I ought to be already drinking. In fact you’ve robbed me of quite a bit of my festival with all these completely unnecessary speculations. So let them be for now and let us enjoy ourselves, clap hands, and live on freedom’s terms at this festival-time. Then let’s dice in the old way for nuts, vote for our kings and obey them. So I will prove the truth of the proverb which says that for old men there comes a second childhood.

> Greek: 9. ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι καὶ τόδε· τί δή ποτε ἁβρὸς οὕτω θεὸς ὢν καὶ γέρων ἐπιλεξάμενος τὸ ἀτερπέστατον, ὁπότε ἡ χιὼν ἐπέχει τὰ πάντα καὶ ὁ βορρᾶς πολὺς καὶ οὐδὲν ὅ τι οὐ πέπηγεν ὑπὸ τοῦ κρύους καὶ τὰ δένδρα ξηρὰ καὶ γυμνὰ καὶ ἄφυλλα καὶ οἱ λειμῶνες ἄμορφοι καὶ ἀπηνθηκότες καὶ οἱ ἄνθρωποι ἐπικεκυφότες ὥσπερ οἱ πάνυ γεγηρακότες, ἀμφὶ τὴν κάμινον οἱ πολλοί, τηνικαῦτα ἑορτάζεις; οὐ γὰρ πρεσβυτικός γε ὁ καιρὸς οὐδὲ ἐπιτήδειος τοῖς τρυφῶσι.
ΚΡΟΝΟΣ: Πολλά με ἀνακρίνεις, ὦ οὗτος, ἤδη πίνειν δέον. παρῄρησαι γοῦν μου χρόνον τῆς ἑορτῆς οὐκ ὀλίγον οὐ πάνυ ἀναγκαῖά μοι ταῦτα προσφιλοσοφῶν. ὥστε νῦν μὲν ἄφες αὐτά. εὐωχώμεθα δὲ ἤδη καὶ κροτῶμεν καὶ ἐπὶ τῇ ἐλευθερίᾳ ἤδη ζῶμεν, εἶτα πεττεύωμεν ἐς τὸ ἀρχαῖον ἐπὶ καρύων καὶ βασιλέας χειροτονῶμεν καὶ πειθαρχῶμεν αὐτοῖς. οὕτω γὰρ ἂν τὴν παροιμίαν ἐπαληθεύσαιμι, ἥ φησι παλίμπαιδας τοὺς γέροντας γίγνεσθαι.

[¶20] PRIEST: Well, Cronus, never may anyone who doesn’t approve of what you say be able to get a drink when he is thirsty! Then let us drink! Your first answer was quite enough. I think I shall write down this conversation of ours in a book, both what I asked and what you so kindly answered, and I’ll give it to my friends to read, at any rate those who deserve to hear what you have said.

> Greek: ΙΕΡΕΥΣ: Ἀλλὰ μὴ δύναιτο διψῶν πιεῖν, ὦ Κρόνε, ὅτῳ μὴ ταῦτα ἃ λέγεις ἡδέα. ὥστε πίνωμεν. ἱκανὰ γὰρ ἀποκέκρισαι καὶ τὰ πρῶτα. καί μοι δοκῶ γραψάμενος εἰς βιβλίον ταύτην ἡμῶν τὴν συνουσίαν ἅ τε αὐτὸς ἠρώτησα καὶ σὺ πρὸς ταῦτα ἵλεως ἀπεκρίνω παρέξειν ἀναγνῶναι τῶν φίλων, ὅσοι γ’ ἐπακοῦσαι τῶν σῶν λόγων ἄξιοι.

[¶21] 10. Thus says Cronosolon, priest and prophet of Cronus, and giver of laws for his festival. What the poor must do I have written in another book and sent to them, and I am well assured that they will abide by the laws, or else they will at once be liable to the severe penalties appointed for disobedience. But you who are rich, see that you do not transgress the law or hear these commands amiss. Whoever acts otherwise, let him know that it is not I, the lawgiver, whom he slights, but he does injury to Cronus himself, who has appointed me lawgiver of his festival, appearing before me in no dream, but conversing with me in bodily shape the other day when I was fully awake. He was not in fetters, nor was he shabby, as the painters show him, following the ravings of the poets. No, he had his sickle full-whetted; he was all radiance and strength, and his garb was that of a king. Such was his appearance when he was seen by me. What he said equally showed his divinity and may be told you by way of preface.

> Greek: 10. Τάδε λέγει Κρονοσόλων ἱερεὺς καὶ προφήτης τοῦ Κρόνου καὶ νομοθέτης τῶν ἀμφὶ τὴν ἑορτήν. Ἃ μὲν τοὺς πένητας χρὴ ποιεῖν, αὐτοῖς ἐκείνοις ἔπεμψα ἄλλο βιβλίον, ἐγγράψας, καὶ εὖ οἶδ’ ὅτι ἐμμενοῦσι κἀκεῖνοι τοῖς νόμοις, ἢ αὐτίκα ἔνοχοι ἔσονται τοῖς ἐπιτιμίοις, ἃ κατὰ τῶν ἀπειθούντων μεγάλα ὥρισται. Ὑμεῖς δέ, ὦ πλούσιοι, ὁρᾶτε πῶς μὴ παρανομήσητε μηδὲ παρακούσητε τῶνδε τῶν προσταγμάτων. ὡς ὅστις ἂν οὕτω μὴ ποιήσῃ, ἴστω οὗτος οὐκ ἐμοῦ νομοθέτου ἀμελήσων ἀλλ’ εἰς τὸν Κρόνον αὐτόν, ὅς με προείλετο νομοθετῆσαι ἐς τὴν ἑορτὴν οὐκ ὄναρ ἐπιστάς, ἀλλὰ πρῴην ἐγρηγορότι ἐναργὴς συγγενόμενος. ἦν δὲ οὐ πεδήτης οὐδὲ αὐχμοῦ πλέως, οἷον αὐτὸν οἱ ζωγράφοι παρὰ τῶν λήρων τῶν ποιητῶν παραδεξάμενοι ἐπιδείκνυνται, ἀλλὰ τὴν μὲν ἅρπην εἶχεν πάνυ τεθηγμένην. τὰ δ’ ἄλλα φαιδρός τε ἦν καὶ καρτερὸς καὶ βασιλικῶς ἐνεσκεύαστο. μορφὴν μὲν τοιόσδε ὤφθη μοι, ἃ δὲ εἶπε, πάνυ θεσπέσια καὶ ταῦτα, προειρῆσθαι ὑμῖν ἄξια.

[¶22] 11. Seeing me morose and walking deep in thought, he knew at once, as became a god, the reason for my grief, namely that I was cross because of my poverty, having but a single cloak, not enough for the season; for it was cold with a strong north-wind, ice and snow, and I had little defence against these things; and then since the festival was almost at hand, I saw other people getting ready their sacrifices and feasts, and I had little that makes for festival-time. Well, he came up from behind, took me by the ear, and shook me (his usual way of accosting me), and said: “Why are you looking so downhearted, Cronosolon?” “Haven’t I every reason, master, when I see disgusting and filthy rogues unbelievably rich and alone leading a comfortable life, while I and many another educated man know poverty and despair as companions? But even you, master, won’t put a stop to these things and make a more equitable arrangement.” “Generally speaking,” he said, “it’s not easy to change the lot that Clotho and the other Fates assign you, but as far as the needs of the festival go I shall set your poverty right. This is how I shall do it: go, Cronosolon, and write me laws on conduct during the festival, so that the rich may not keep private festival but share their good things with you.” “I do not know the laws,” I said. “I will instruct you,” said he, and he set to.

> Greek: 11. Ἰδὼν γάρ με σκυθρωπόν, ἐπὶ συννοίας βαδίζοντα, ὥσπερ εἰκὸς ἦν θεόν, ἔγνω αὐτίκα τὴν αἰτίαν τῆς λύπης τίς ἐστί μοι, καὶ ὡς τὴν πενίαν δυσχεραίνοιμι οὐ κατὰ τὴν ὥραν μονοχίτων· καὶ γὰρ κρύος καὶ βορρᾶς πολὺς καὶ κρύσταλλοι καὶ χιών· ἐγὼ δὲ ἥκιστα ἐπεφράγμην πρὸς αὐτά· ἀλλ’ ὅτι καὶ τῆς ἑορτῆς πάνυ πλησιαζούσης ἑώρων τοὺς μὲν ἄλλους παρασκευαζομένους ὅπως θύσωσι καὶ εὐωχήσωνται, ἐμαυτῷ δὲ οὐ πάνυ ἑορτάσιμα ὄντα. καὶ δὴ προσελθὼν ὄπισθε καὶ τοῦ ὠτός μου λαβόμενος καὶ διασείσας, ὥσπερ μοι προσπελάζειν εἴωθε, Τί ταῦτα, ἔφη, ὦ Κρονοσόλων, ἀνιωμένῳ ἔοικας; Οὐ γὰρ ἄξιον, ἔφην, ὦ δέσποτα, ὅταν καταράτους μὲν καὶ μιαροὺς ἀνθρώπους ὑπερπλουτοῦντας καὶ μόνους τρυφῶντας ὁρῶν, αὐτὸς δὲ καὶ ἄλλοι συχνοὶ τῶν πεπαιδευμένων ἀπορίᾳ καὶ ἀμηχανίᾳ σύνεσμεν; ἀλλ’ οὐδὲ σύ, ὦ δέσποτα, θέλεις παῦσαι ταῦτα καὶ μετακοσμῆσαι πρὸς τὸ ἰσόμοιρον. Τὰ μὲν ἄλλα, ἔφη, οὐ ῥάδιον ἀλλάττειν ὁπόσα ἐκ Κλωθοῦς καὶ τῶν ἄλλων Μοιρῶν πάσχετε, ἃ δέ ἐστι τῆς ἑορτῆς, ἐπανορθώσομαι ὑμῖν τὴν πενίαν. ἡ δὲ ἐπανόρθωσις ἥδε ἔστω· ἴθι, ὦ Κρονοσόλων, καὶ γράψον μοι νόμους τινάς, ἃ χρὴ πράττειν ἐν τῇ ἑορτῇ, ὡς μὴ καθ’ αὑτοὺς οἱ πλούσιοι ἑορτάζοιεν, κοινωνοῖεν δὲ ὑμῖν τῶν ἀγαθῶν. Ἀλλ’ οὐκ οἶδα, ἔφην. Ἐγώ, ἦ δ’ ὅς, διδάξομαί σε· κᾆτα ἀρξάμενος ἐδίδασκεν.

[¶23] 12. Then, when I had learnt them all, he said, “And tell them that if they are disobedient it’s not for nothing that I carry this sharp sickle here—I should be a fool to have castrated my own father, Uranus, and yet not make eunuchs of the rich who break my laws, making them servants of the Great Mother and collectors for her, complete with flutes and cymbals.” That was his threat. So you had better not transgress his ordinances.

> Greek: 12. εἶτα ἐπειδὴ πάντα ἠπιστάμήν, Καὶ εἰπὲ αὐτοῖς, ἔφη, ὅτι ἢν μὴ τοῦτο ποιῶσι, μὴ μάτην ἐγὼ τὴν ἅρπην ταύτην ὀξεῖαν περιφέρω, ἢ γελοῖος ἂν εἴην τὸν μὲν πατέρα ἐκτομίαν πεποιηκὼς τὸν Οὐρανόν, τοὺς δὲ πλουσίους μὴ εὐνουχίζων, ὁπόσοι ἂν παρανομήσωσιν, ὡς ἀγείροιεν τῇ μητρὶ σὺν αὐλοῖς καὶ τυμπάνοις βάκηλοι γενόμενοι. ταῦτα ἠπείλησεν. ὥστε καλῶς ἔχει ὑμῖν μὴ παραβαίνειν τοὺς θεσμούς.

[¶24] 13. 1. First Laws No one is to do any business, public or private, during the festival, except what pertains to sport, luxurious living and entertainment: cooks and confectioners alone shall work. Let every man be treated equal, slave and freeman, poor and rich. No one may be ill-tempered or cross or threaten anybody. No one may audit accounts during the festival of Cronus. No one may inspect or list his silver or clothing during the festival, nor take part in athletics, nor practise public-speaking, nor deliver lectures, except wits and jolly fellows purveying jokes and entertainment.

> Greek: 13. 1. ΝΟΜΟΙ ΠΡΩΤΟΙ Μηδένα μηδὲν μήτε ἀγοραῖον μήτε ἴδιον πράττειν ἐντὸς τῆς ἑορτῆς ἢ ὅσα ἐς παιδιὰν καὶ τρυφὴν καὶ θυμηδίαν· ὀψοποιοὶ μόνοι καὶ πεμματουργοὶ ἐνεργοὶ ἔστωσαν. Ἰσοτιμία πᾶσιν ἔστω καὶ δούλοις καὶ ἐλευθέροις καὶ πένησι καὶ πλουσίοις. Ὀργίζεσθαι ἢ ἀγανακτεῖν ἢ ἀπειλεῖν μηδενὶ ἐξέστω. Λογισμοὺς παρὰ τῶν ἐπιμελουμένων Κρονίοις λαμβάνειν μηδὲ τοῦτο ἐξέστω. Μηδεὶς τὸν ἄργυρον ἢ τὴν ἐσθῆτα ἐξεταζέτω μηδὲ ἀναγραφέτω ἐν τῇ ἑορτῇ μηδὲ γυμναζέσθω Κρονίοις μηδὲ λόγους ἀσκεῖν ἢ ἐπιδείκνυσθαι, πλὴν εἴ τινες ἀστεῖοι καὶ φαιδροὶ σκῶμμα καὶ παιδιὰν ἐμφαίνοντες.

[¶25] 14. 2. Second Laws Long before the festival the rich shall write on a tablet the name of each of their friends, and shall hold in readiness the cash value of a tenth of their yearly income, any surplus clothing they possess, furniture too crude for them, and a good proportion of their silver. They shall keep this ready at hand. On the day before the festival a purificatory sacrifice shall be carried round, and they shall purge their houses of meanness, avarice, greed, and all such vices that dwell with most of them. When they have purified the house, they shall sacrifice to Zeus the Giver of Wealth, Hermes the Bestower, and Apollo of the Great Gifts. Then in the late afternoon, that list of friends shall be read to them.

> Greek: 14. 2. ΝΟΜΟΙ ΔΕΥΤΕΡΟΙ Πρὸ πολλοῦ τῆς ἑορτῆς οἱ πλούσιοι γραφόντων μὲν ἐς πινάκιον ἑκάστου τῶν φίλων τοὔνομα, ἐχόντων δὲ καὶ ἀργύριον ἕτοιμον ὅσον τῶν κατ’ ἔτος προσιόντων τὸ δέκατον καὶ ἐσθῆτα τῆς οὔσης τὴν περιττὴν καὶ ὅση παχυτέρα ἢ κατ’ αὐτοὺς κατασκευή, καὶ τῶν ἀργυρῶν οὐκ ὀλίγα. ταῦτα μὲν πρόχειρα ἔστω. Τῇ δὲ πρὸ τῆς ἑορτῆς καθάρσιον μέν τι περιφερέσθω καὶ ὑπ’ αὐτῶν ἐξελαυνέσθω ἐκ τῆς οἰκίας μικρολογία καὶ φιλαργυρία καὶ φιλοκερδία καὶ ὅσα τοιαῦτα ἄλλα σύνοικα τοῖς πλείστοις αὐτῶν. Ἐπειδὰν δὲ καθαρὰν τὴν οἰκίαν ἐξεργάσωνται, θυόντων Διὶ πλουτοδότῃ καὶ Ἑρμῇ δώτορι καὶ Ἀπόλλωνι μεγαλοδώρῳ. Εἶτα περὶ δείλην ὀψίαν ἀναγινωσκέσθω μὲν σφίσι τὸ φιλικὸν ἐκεῖνο πινάκιον.

[¶26] 15. They shall divide the gifts according to each man’s worth, and before sunset send them to their friends. The bearers shall not exceed three or four, the most trustworthy of their servants, well advanced in years. The nature and quantity of what is sent shall be written on a slip, that neither party may suspect the bearers. Each servant shall drink one cup and then run off and make no more demands. To men of letters double quantities shall be sent; they deserve a double share. The messages with the gifts shall be as modest and brief as possible. No one shall send an odious message with them, or cry up what is sent. Rich man shall not send to rich man or at Cronus’s festival entertain anyone of equal standing. He shall keep nothing of what is already prepared for sending, nor change his mind about a gift. Anyone who the year before missed his share through absence shall be given it now as an extra gift. The rich shall pay debts for their impecunious friends (including their rent if they owe this too and cannot pay). In general they shall make it their business to know long beforehand what is their greatest need.

> Greek: 15. κατανείμαντες δὲ αὐτοὶ κατ’ ἀξίαν ἑκάστῳ πρὶν ἥλιον δῦναι πεμπόντων τοῖς φίλοις. οἱ δὲ ἀποκομίζοντες μὴ πλείους τριῶν ἢ τεττάρων, οἱ πιστότατοι τῶν οἰκετῶν, ἤδη πρεσβῦται. ἐγγραψάσθω δὲ ἐς γραμμάτιον ὅ τι τὸ πεμπόμενον καὶ ὅσον, ὡς μὴ ἀμφότεροι ὑποπτεύοιεν τοὺς διακομίζοντας. αὐτοὶ δὲ οἱ οἰκέται μίαν κύλικα ἕκαστος πιόντες ἀποτρεχόντων, ἀπαιτούντων δὲ μηδὲν πλέον. Τοῖς πεπαιδευμένοις διπλάσια πάντα πεμπέσθω· ἄξιον γὰρ διμοιρίτας εἶναι. τὰ δὲ ἐπὶ τοῖς δώροις λεγόμενα ὡς μετριώτατα καὶ ὀλίγιστα ἔστω. ἐπαχθὲς δὲ μηδεὶς μηδὲν συνεπιστελλέτω μηδὲ ἐπαινείτω τὰ πεμπόμενα. Πλούσιος πλουσίῳ μηδὲν πεμπέτω μηδὲ ἑστιάτω Κρονίοις ὁ πλούσιος τὸν ἰσότιμον. τῶν εἰς τὸ πεμφθῆναι προχειρισθέντων φυλασσέσθω μηδὲν μηδὲ μετάνοια εἰσίτω ἐπὶ τῇ δωρεᾷ. Εἴ τις πέρυσιν ἀποδημῶν δι’ αὐτὸ ἄμοιρος κατέστη, ἀπολαμβανέτω κἀκεῖνα. Διαλυόντων δὲ οἱ πλούσιοι καὶ χρέα ὑπὲρ τῶν φίλων τῶν πενήτων καὶ τὸ ἐνοίκιον, οἵτινες ἂν καὶ τοῦτο ὀφείλοντες καταβαλεῖν μὴ ἔχωσι. καὶ ὅλως, πρὸ πολλοῦ μελέτω αὐτοῖς εἰδέναι ὅτου μάλιστα δέονται.

[¶27] 16. Those who receive shall not complain, but think the gift, whatever it is, generous. A jar of wine, a hare, or a plump bird shall not be reckoned a gift for Cronus’s festival, nor shall Cronian gifts be laughed at. In return the poor scholar shall send the rich man any pleasant, convivial, old book he may have, or a work of his own, the best he can. The rich man shall receive this gift with a glad countenance and then read it at once. If he rejects it or throws it away, he shall know that he is liable to what the sickle threatens, even if what he sends is adequate. The other poor recipients shall send garlands of flowers or grains of frankincense. If a poor man sends clothing or silver or gold beyond his means to a rich man, his gift shall be declared public property and sold, the money going into the treasury of Cronus; and the poor man on the next day shall receive from the rich man strokes on his hands with a cane to the number of not less than two hundred and fifty.

> Greek: 16. Ἀπέστω δὲ καὶ τῶν λαμβανόντων μεμψιμοιρία, καὶ τὸ πεμφθὲν ὁποῖον ἂν ᾖ, μέγα δοκείτω. οἴνου ἀμφορεὺς ἢ λαγὼς ἢ ὄρνις παχεῖα Κρονίων δῶρον μὴ δοκείτω, μηδὲ τὰς Κρονικὰς δωρεὰς εἰς γέλωτα φερέτωσαν. Ἀντιπεμπέτω δὲ ὁ πένης τῷ πλουσίῳ ὁ μὲν πεπαιδευμένος βιβλίον τῶν παλαιῶν, εἴ τι εὔφημον καὶ συμποτικόν, ἢ αὐτοῦ σύγγραμμα ὁποῖον ἂν δύνηται, καὶ τοῦτο λαμβανέτω ὁ πλούσιος πάνυ φαιδρῷ τῷ προσώπῳ καὶ λαβὼν ἀναγινωσκέτω εὐθύς. Ἢν δὲ ἀπωθῆται ἢ ἀπορρίψῃ, ἴστω τῇ τῆς ἅρπης ἀπειλῇ ἔνοχος ὤν, κἂν πέμψῃ ὅσα ἐχρῆν. οἱ δὲ ἄλλοι οἱ μὲν στεφάνους, οἱ δὲ λιβανωτοῦ χόνδρους πεμπόντων. Ἢν δὲ πένης ἐσθῆτα ἢ ἄργυρον ἢ χρυσὸν παρὰ τὴν δύναμιν πέμψῃ πλουσίῳ, τὸ μὲν πεμφθὲν ἔστω δημόσιον καὶ καταπραθὲν ἐμβαλλέσθω εἰς τὸν θησαυρὸν τοῦ Κρόνου, ὁ δὲ πένης ἐς τὴν ὑστεραίαν πληγὰς παρὰ τοῦ πλουσίου λαμβανέτω τῷ νάρθηκι εἰς τὰς χεῖρας οὐκ ἐλάττους διακοσίων καὶ πεντήκοντα.

[¶28] 17. 3. Laws for Banquets The time for bathing shall be when the shadow of the sundial is six feet long; before the bath there shall be nuts and gaming. Each man shall take the couch where he happens to be. Rank, family, or wealth shall have little influence on privilege. All shall drink the same wine, and neither stomach trouble nor headache shall give the rich man an excuse for being the only one to drink the better quality. All shall have their meat on equal terms. The waiters shall not show favour to anyone, but shall neither be too slow nor be dismissed until the guests choose what they are to take home. Neither are large portions to be placed before one and tiny ones before another, nor a ham for one and a pig’s jaw for another—all must be treated equally.

> Greek: 17. 3. ΝΟΜΟΙ ΣΥΜΠΟΤΙΚΟΙ Λούεσθαι μὲν ὁπόταν τὸ στοιχεῖον ἑξάπουν ᾖ, τὰ δὲ πρὸ τοῦ λουτροῦ κάρυα καὶ πεσσοὶ ἔστωσαν. Κατακείσθω ὅπου ἂν τύχῃ ἕκαστος. ἀξίωμα ἢ γένος ἢ πλοῦτος ὀλίγον συντελείτω ἐς προνομήν. Οἴνου τοῦ αὐτοῦ πίνειν ἅπαντας, μηδ’ ἔστω πρόφασις τῷ πλουσίῳ ἢ στομάχου ἢ κεφαλῆς ὀδύνη, ὡς μόνον δι’ αὐτὴν πίνειν τοῦ κρείττονος. Μοῖρα κρεῶν κατ’ ἴσον ἅπασιν. οἱ διάκονοι πρὸς χάριν μηδενὶ μηδέν, ἀλλὰ μηδὲ βραδυνέτωσαν μηδὲ παραπεμπέσθωσαν ἔστ’ ἂν αὐτοῖς δοκῇ, ὁπόσα χρὴ ἀποφέρειν. μηδὲ τῷ μὲν μεγάλα, τῷ δὲ κομιδῇ μικρὰ παρατιθέσθω, μηδὲ τῷ μὲν ὁ μηρός, τῷ δὲ ἡ γνάθος συός, ἀλλ’ ἰσότης ἐπὶ πᾶσιν.

[¶29] 18. The man who pours the wine shall keep a sharp eye on each guest from a vantage-point; he shall pay less attention to his master, and his ears shall be sharper than usual. The cups shall be of all kinds. It shall be permissible to pass a loving-cup, if desired. Everyone shall drink to everyone else, if desired, when the rich man has set the example. No one shall be made to drink if he cannot. It shall not be permissible for anyone who wishes it to introduce into the banquet a dancer or lyre-player who is still learning. Jesting shall be limited in all cases to what is inoffensive. All gambling shall be for nuts. If anyone gambles for money he shall go without food for the next day. Each guest shall stay and go as he likes. When a rich man gives a banquet to his servants, his friends shall aid him in waiting on them. Every rich man shall inscribe these laws on a slab of bronze and keep it in the centre of his hall, and read them. And it must be realised that as long as this slab shall last neither famine nor plague nor fire nor any other harm shall come to their house. May it never be taken down! For if it is, Heaven avert what is in store for them!

> Greek: 18. Ὁ οἰνοχόος ὀξὺ δεδορκέτω ἐκ περιωπῆς ἐς ἕκαστον, καὶ ἔλαττον ἐς τὸν δεσπότην, καὶ ἐπ’ ὀξύτερον ἀκουέτω, καὶ κύλικες παντοῖαι. καὶ ἐξέστω παρέχειν, ἤν τις ἐθέλῃ, φιλοτησίαν. πάντες πᾶσι προπινέτωσαν, ἢν ἐθέλωσι, προπιόντος τοῦ πλουσίου. μὴ ἐπάναγκες ἔστω πίνειν, ἤν τις μὴ δύνηται. Ἐς τὸ συμπόσιον μήτε ὀρχηστὴν μήτε κιθαριστὴν αὐτοὺς ἄγειν ἄρτι μανθάνοντα ἐξέστω, ἤν τις ἐθέλῃ. Σκώμματος μέτρον ἔστω τὸ ἄλυπον ἐπὶ πᾶσιν. Πεττευέτωσαν ἐπὶ καρύων. ἤν τις ἐπ’ ἀργυρίῳ πεττεύσῃ, ἄσιτος ἐς τὴν ὑστεραίαν ἔστω. Καὶ μενέτω καὶ ἀπίτω ἕκαστος, ὁπόταν βούληται. Ἐπὰν δὲ τοὺς οἰκέτας ὁ πλούσιος εὐωχῇ, διακονούντων καὶ οἱ φίλοι σὺν αὐτῷ. Τοὺς νόμους τούτους ἕκαστον τῶν πλουσίων ἐγγράψαντα ἐς χαλκῆν στήλην ἔχειν ἐν μεσαιτάτῳ τῆς αὐλῆς, καὶ ἀναγινωσκέτω. δεῖ δὲ εἰδέναι ὅτι ἔστ’ ἂν αὕτη ἡ στήλη μένῃ, οὔτε λιμὸς οὔτε λοιμὸς οὔτε πυρκαϊὰ οὔτε ἄλλο χαλεπὸν οὐδὲν εἴσεισιν εἰς τὴν οἰκίαν αὐτοῖς. ἢν δέ ποτε—ὅπερ μὴ γένοιτο—καθαιρεθῇ, ἀποτρόπαιον οἷα πείσονται.

[¶30] 19. 1. Myself to Cronus—Greetings! I wrote to you earlier telling you what my position was and how my poverty made it likely that I alone should have no share in the festival which you proclaimed, adding this, I remember, that it was most unreasonable for some of us to have too much wealth and live in luxury and not share what they have with those who are poorer than they while others are dying of hunger, and that too when the festival of Cronus is near. Since you sent no reply then, I have thought it necessary to remind you of it again. You ought, my dear Cronus, to have abolished this inequality, made the good things accessible to everyone, and then bid the festival begin. As we now are it is a case of “ant or camel”, as the saying has it. Better still, imagine a tragic actor with one foot on something high, like a tragic buskin, and let the other be unshod. Now if anyone were to walk like this you can see he would have to be up in the air at one moment and down again at the next according to whichever foot he is putting forward. Inequality in human life is the same: some put on the buskins which our producer Luck supplies and strut the human stage, but the rank and file of us go unshod on the earth below, though we could play a part and stride the boards no worse than they, you may be sure, if anyone had decked us out like them.

> Greek: 19. Ἐγεγράφειν μὲν ἤδη σοι καὶ πρότερον δηλῶν ἐν οἷς εἴην καὶ ὡς ὑπὸ πενίας κινδυνεύοιμι μόνος ἄμοιρος εἶναι τῆς ἑορτῆς, ἣν ἐπήγγελκας, ἔτι καὶ τοῦτο προσθεὶς—μέμνημαι γάρ—ἀλογώτατον εἶναι τοὺς μὲν ἡμῶν ὑπερπλουτεῖν καὶ τρυφᾶν οὐ κοινωνοῦντας ὧν ἔχουσι τοῖς πενεστέροις, τοὺς δὲ λιμῷ διαφθείρεσθαι, καὶ ταῦτα Κρονίων ἐνεστώτων. ἐπεὶ δέ μοι τότε οὐδὲν ἀντεπέστειλας, ἡγησάμην δεῖν αὖθις ἀναμνῆσαί σε τῶν αὐτῶν. ἐχρῆν γάρ σε, ὦ ἄριστε Κρόνε, τὸ ἄνισον τοῦτο ἀφελόντα καὶ τὰ ἀγαθὰ ἐς τὸ μέσον ἅπασι καταθέντα ἔπειτα κελεύειν ἑορτάζειν. ὡς δὲ νῦν ἔχομεν, μύρμηξ ἢ κάμηλος, ὡς ἡ παροιμία φησί. μᾶλλον δὲ τραγικὸν ὑποκριτὴν ἐννόησον θατέρῳ μὲν τοῖν ποδοῖν ἐφ’ ὑψηλοῦ βεβηκότα, οἷοί εἰσι τραγικοὶ ἐμβάται, ὁ δ’ ἕτερος ἀνυπόδητος ἔστω. εἰ τοίνυν βαδίζοι οὕτως ἔχων, ὁρᾷς ὅτι ἀναγκαῖον αὐτῷ ἄρτι μὲν ὑψηλῷ, ἄρτι δὲ ταπεινῷ γενέσθαι, καθ’ ὁπότερον ἂν πόδα προβαίνῃ. τοσοῦτον κἀν τῷ βίῳ ἡμῶν τὸ ἄνισον· καὶ οἱ μὲν ὑποδησάμενοι ἐμβάτας τῆς τύχης χορηγούσης ἐντραγῳδοῦσιν ἡμῖν, οἱ πολλοὶ δὲ πεζῇ καὶ χαμαὶ βαδίζομεν δυνάμενοι ἄν, εὖ ἴσθι, μὴ χεῖρον αὐτῶν ὑποκρίνεσθαι καὶ διαβαίνειν, εἴ τις καὶ ἡμᾶς ἐνεσκεύασε παραπλησίως ἐκείνοις.

## 2. Sections 20–39

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-saturnalia/2/#p-N

[¶0] 20. Indeed I hear the poets saying that things were not like that in old times when you were still lord. No, the earth produced its good things for the folk without sowing and without ploughing, an ample meal ready to each man’s hand; the rivers flowed some with wine, some with milk, and others again with honey. And, above all, they say the men themselves were gold and poverty was nowhere near. As for us, we could not even be thought of as lead, but something meaner, if such there be; and for most of us food is won with toil; and poverty, want, and helplessness, and “alas!”, and “how can I get it?”, and “oh, what bad luck!” and such exclamations are plentiful, at least among us poor. We should be less distressed about it, you may be sure, if we did not see the rich living in such bliss, who, though they have such gold, such silver in their safes, though they have all that clothing and own slaves and carriage-horses and tenements and farms, each and all in large numbers, not only have never shared them with us, but never deign even to notice ordinary people.

> Greek: 20. Καίτοι ἀκούω τῶν ποιητῶν λεγόντων ὡς τὸ παλαιὸν οὐ τοιαῦτα ἦν τοῖς ἀνθρώποις τὰ πράγματα σοῦ ἔτι μοναρχοῦντος, ἀλλ’ ἡ μὲν γῆ ἄσπορος καὶ ἀνήροτος ἔφυεν αὐτοῖς τὰ ἀγαθά, δεῖπνον ἕτοιμον ἑκάστῳ ἐς κόρον, ποταμοὶ δὲ οἱ μὲν οἶνον, οἱ δὲ γάλα, εἰσὶ δὲ οἳ καὶ μέλι ἔρρεον. τὸ δὲ μέγιστον, αὐτοὺς ἐκείνους φασὶ τοὺς ἀνθρώπους χρυσοῦς εἶναι, πενίαν δὲ μηδὲ τὸ παράπαν αὐτοῖς πλησιάζειν. ἡμεῖς δὲ αὐτοὶ μὲν οὐδὲ μόλυβδος ἂν εἰκότως δοκοίημεν, ἀλλ’ εἴ τι καὶ τούτου ἀτιμότερον, ἡ τροφὴ δὲ μετὰ πόνων τοῖς πλείστοις, ἡ πενία δὲ καὶ ἀπορία καὶ ἀμηχανία καὶ τὸ οἴμοι καὶ τὸ πόθεν ἄν μοι γένοιτο καὶ ὢ τῆς τύχης πολλὰ τοιαῦτα παρὰ γοῦν ἡμῖν τοῖς πένησι. Καὶ ἧττον ἄν, εὖ ἴσθι, ἠνιώμεθα ἂν ἐπ’ αὐτοῖς, εἰ μὴ τοὺς πλουσίους ἑωρῶμεν τοσαύτῃ εὐδαιμονίᾳ συνόντας, οἳ τοσοῦτον μὲν χρυσόν, τοσοῦτον δὲ ἄργυρον ἐγκλεισάμενοι, ἐσθῆτας δὲ ὅσας ἔχοντες, ἀνδράποδα δὲ καὶ ζεύγη καὶ συνοικίας καὶ ἀγρούς, πάμπολλα δὲ ταῦτα ἕκαστα κεκτημένοι οὐχ ὅπως μετέδοσαν ἡμῖν ποτε αὐτῶν, ἀλλ’ οὐδὲ προσβλέπειν τοὺς πολλοὺς ἀξιοῦσι.

[¶1] 21. This is what sticks in our throats most of all, Cronus, and we think it an intolerable thing for such a man to lie in his purple clothes and gorge himself on all these good things, belching, receiving his guest’s congratulations, and feasting without a break, while I and my sort dream where we can get four obols to be able to sleep after a fill of bread or barley, with cress or thyme or onion as a relish. So either, Cronus, change the situation and give us instead of our present lot an equal share in life, or, at the very least, bid these rich men stop their solitary enjoyment of the good things and out of all their bushels of gold throw down a measure for us all, and out of their clothing give us what would be no loss to them even if it were eaten by moths—it will be completely destroyed and ruined by time in any case—, and tell them to give it us to wear before letting it rot in their boxes and chests with mould everywhere.

> Greek: 21. ταῦτα ἡμᾶς μάλιστα ἀποπνίγει, ὦ Κρόνε, καὶ ἀφόρητον ἡγούμεθα τὸ πρᾶγμα, τὸν μὲν ἐφ’ ἁλουργίδων κατακείμενον τοσούτοις ἀγαθοῖς ἐντρυφᾶν ἐρυγγάνοντα καὶ ὑπὸ τῶν συνόντων εὐδαιμονιζόμενον ἀεὶ ἑορτάζοντα, ἐμὲ δὲ καὶ τοὺς ὁμοίους ὀνειροπολεῖν, εἴ ποθεν ὀβολοὶ τέσσαρες γένοιντο, ὡς ἔχοιμεν ἄρτων γοῦν ἢ ἀλφίτων ἐμπεπλησμένοι καθεύδειν κάρδαμον ἢ θύμον ἢ κρόμμυον ἐπιτρώγοντες. ἢ τοίνυν ταῦτα, ὦ Κρόνε, ἀλλάττειν καὶ μεταποιεῖν ἐς τὸ ἰσοδίαιτον, ἢ τὸ ὕστατον, αὐτούς γε ἐκείνους κελεύειν τοὺς πλουσίους μὴ μόνους ἀπολαύειν τῶν ἀγαθῶν, ἀλλὰ ἀπὸ μεδίμνων τοσούτων χρυσίου χοίνικά γε ἡμῶν πάντων κατασκεδάσαι, ἀπὸ δὲ ἱματίων ὅσα κἂν ὑπὸ σητῶν διαβρωθέντα οὐκ ἂν αὐτοὺς ἀνιάσειε· ταῦτα γοῦν πάντως ἀπολλύμενα καὶ ὑπὸ τοῦ χρόνου διαφθαρησόμενα ἡμῖν δοῦναι περιβαλέσθαι μᾶλλον ἢ ἐν ταῖς κοίταις καὶ κίσταις εὐρῶτι πολλῷ κατασαπῆναι.

[¶2] 22. Tell them, moreover, to invite the poor to dinner, taking in four or five at a time, not as they do nowadays though, but in a more democratic fashion, all having an equal share, not one man stuffing himself with dainties with the servant standing waiting for him to eat himself to exhaustion, then when this servant comes to us he passes on while we are still getting ready to put out our hand, only letting us glimpse the platter or the remnants of the cake. And tell him not to give a whole half of the pig when it’s brought in, and the head as well, to his master, bringing the others bones covered over. And tell the wine-servers not to wait for each of us to ask seven times for a drink but on one request to pour it out and hand it to us at once, filling a great cup as they do for their master. And let the wine be one and the same for all the guests—where is it laid down that he should get drunk on wine with a fine bouquet while I must burst my belly on new stuff?

> Greek: 22. Καὶ μὴν καὶ δειπνίζειν ἕκαστον ἄρτι μὲν τέσσαρας, ἄρτι δὲ πέντε τῶν πενήτων παραλαμβάνοντας, μὴ μέντοι ἐς τὸν νῦν τρόπον τῶν δείπνων, ἀλλ’ ἐς τὸ δημοτικώτερον, ὡς ἐπ’ ἴσης μετέχειν ἅπαντας καὶ μὴ τὸν μὲν ἐμφορεῖσθαι τῶν ὄψων καὶ τὸν οἰκέτην περιμένειν ἑστῶτα, ἔστ’ ἂν ἀπαγορεύσῃ ἐσθίων, ἐφ’ ἡμᾶς δὲ ἐλθόντα, ἔτι παρασκευαζομένων ὡς ἐπιβάλοιμεν τὴν χεῖρα, παραμείβεσθαι δείξαντα μόνον τὴν λοπάδα ἢ ὅσον ἐστὶ τοῦ πλακοῦντος τὸ λοιπόν· μηδὲ ἐσκομισθέντος ὑὸς διανέμοντα τῷ μὲν δεσπότῃ παρατιθέναι τὸ ἡμίτομον ὅλον σὺν τῇ κεφαλῇ, τοῖς δὲ ἄλλοις ὀστᾶ φέρειν ἐγκεκαλυμμένα. προειπεῖν δὲ καὶ τοῖς οἰνοχόοις μὴ περιμένειν, ἔστ’ ἂν ἑπτάκις αἰτήσῃ πιεῖν ἡμῶν ἕκαστος, ἀλλὰ ἢν ἅπαξ κελεύσῃ, αὐτίκα ἐγχέαι καὶ ἀναδοῦναι μεγάλην κύλικα ἐμπλησαμένους ὥσπερ τῷ δεσπότῃ. καὶ τὸν οἶνον δὲ αὐτὸν πᾶσι τοῖς συμπόταις ἕνα καὶ τὸν αὐτὸν εἶναι—ἢ ποῦ γὰρ γεγράφθαι τοῦτον τὸν νόμον, τὸν μὲν ἀνθοσμίου μεθύσκεσθαι, ἐμοὶ δὲ ὑπὸ τοῦ γλεύκους διαρρήγνυσθαι τὴν γαστέρα;

[¶3] 23. If you correct and adjust this, Cronus, you will have made living really living and your festival a real festival. If not, let them have their festival, and we shall sit on our haunches praying that when they have come from the bath the boy will turn up the wine-jar and break it over them, that the cook will burn the soup and in a fit of absent-mindedness put the fish in the pudding, and that the dog will rush in and eat up all the sausage, while the scullions are busy with the other preparations, and half the cake as well; that while the pork and the venison and the sucking-pigs are being cooked they may do what Homer says Helius’s cattle did —or rather not only just crawl, but jump up and rush to the mountain, spits and all; and that their plump birds, although already plucked and prepared for serving, should take wing and go off likewise, so that they may not enjoy them by themselves.

> Greek: 23. Ἤν ταῦτα ἐπανορθώσῃς καὶ μετακοσμήσῃς, ὦ Κρόνε, βίον μὲν τὸν βίον, ἑορτὴν δὲ τὴν ἑορτὴν ἔσῃ πεποιηκώς, εἰ δὲ μή, ἐκεῖνοι μὲν ἑορταζόντων, ἡμεῖς δὲ καθεδούμεθα εὐχόμενοι, ἐπειδὰν λουσάμενοι ἥκωσι, τὸν παῖδα μὲν αὐτοῖς ἀνατρέψαντα τὸν ἀμφορέα κατᾶξαι, τὸν μάγειρον δὲ τὸν ζωμὸν κνισῶσαι καὶ ἐπιλαθόμενον τὸ τάριχος μὲν ἐς τὴν φακῆν ἐμβαλεῖν· τὴν κύνα δὲ παρεισπεσοῦσαν τόν τε ἀλλᾶντα ὅλον καταφαγεῖν, περὶ τἆλλα τῶν ὀψοποιῶν ἐχόντων, καὶ τοῦ πλακοῦντος τὸ ἥμισυ· τὸν δὲ ὗν καὶ τὸν ἔλαφον καὶ τὰ δελφάκια μεταξὺ ὀπτώμενα τὸ ὅμοιον ποιεῖν, ὅπερ Ὅμηρος περὶ τῶν Ἡλίου βοῶν φησι—μᾶλλον δὲ μὴ ἕρπειν μόνον, ἀλλ’ ἀναπηδήσαντα φεύγειν εἰς τὸ ὄρος αὐτοῖς ὀβελοῖς· καὶ τὰς ὄρνεις δὲ τὰς παχείας, καίτοι ἀπτέρους ἤδη οὔσας καὶ ἐσκευασμένας, ἀναπταμένας οἴχεσθαι καὶ ταύτας, ὡς μὴ μόνοι ἀπολαύοιεν αὐτῶν.

[¶4] 24. This in particular will cause them trouble: we shall pray for their gold to be dug up from its hiding-places by ants like those of India and carried off by night to the public treasury; and that their clothing through neglect of those in charge should be riddled like a sieve by those fine creatures the mice, to be just like a tunny net; and that their pretty, long-haired pages whom they call Hyacinth or Achilles or Narcissus, just as they are handing them the cup should go bald and have their hair fall out and sprout a pointed beard, like the wedge-shaped beards in the comedy, and have the part around their temples become very hairy and exceedingly prickly, and the area between them smooth and bare. All this and more we shall pray for if they will not give up their excessive selfishness and keep their wealth for everybody’s good and give us a moderate share.

> Greek: 24. Ὃ δὲ δὴ μάλιστα ἂν αὐτοὺς ἀνιάσειε, τὸ μὲν χρυσίον μύρμηκάς τινας οἵους τοὺς Ἰνδικοὺς ἀνορύττοντας ἐκ τῶν θησαυρῶν ἐκφέρειν νύκτωρ ἐς τὸ δημόσιον· τὴν ἐσθῆτα δὲ ὀλιγωρίᾳ τῶν ἐπιμελητῶν κοσκινηδὸν διατετρυπῆσθαι ὑπὸ τῶν βελτίστων μυῶν, ὡς σαγήνης θυννευτικῆς μηδὲν διαφέρειν· παῖδας δὲ αὐτῶν τοὺς ὡραίους καὶ κομήτας, οὓς Ὑακίνθους ἢ Ἀχιλλέας ἢ Ναρκίσσους ὀνομάζουσι, μεταξὺ ὀρέγοντας σφίσι τὸ ἔκπωμα φαλακροὺς γίγνεσθαι ὑπορρεούσης τῆς κόμης καὶ πώγωνα φύειν ὀξύν, οἷοί εἰσιν ἐν ταῖς κωμῳδίαις οἱ σφηνοπώγωνες, καὶ τὸ παρὰ τοῖς κροτάφοις πάνυ λάσιον καὶ κάρτα ἐκκεντοῦν, τὸ μεταξὺ δὲ λεῖον καὶ γυμνὸν εἶναι. ταῦτα καὶ πλείω τούτων εὐξαίμεθ’ ἄν, εἰ μὴ θέλωσι τὸ ἄγαν φίλαυτον τοῦτ’ ἀφέντες ἐς τὸ κοινὸν πλουτεῖν καὶ μεταδιδόναι ἡμῖν τῶν μετρίων.

[¶5] 25. 2. Cronus to His Very Dear Me—Greetings! Why do you talk this nonsense, my man, sending me letters about the way things are and telling me to make a redistribution of property? That task would belong to someone else, your present ruler. I’m surprised that you are the only one who doesn’t know that I stopped being king a long time ago when I apportioned my sovereignty to my sons, and that such things are Zeus’s special concern. This rule of mine doesn’t go beyond dicing, hand-clapping, singing, and getting drunk, and then it’s for no longer than seven days. So, as to the more important matters you mention—removing inequality and all being poor or rich together—Zeus might deal with you. But any injustice or selfishness in the festival it would be for me to judge. In fact I am sending to the rich about the dinners and the measure of gold and the clothing, telling them to send you some for the festival. It is just and proper for them to do this, as you say, unless they can bring some reasonable argument against it.

> Greek: 25. 2. ΚΡΟΝΟΣ ΕΜΟΙ ΤΩΙ ΤΙΜΙΩΤΑΤΩΙ ΧΑΙΡΕΙΝ Τί ταῦτα ληρεῖς, ὦ οὗτος, ἐμοὶ περὶ τῶν παρόντων ἐπιστέλλων καὶ ἀναδασμὸν τῶν ἀγαθῶν ποιεῖν κελεύων; τὸ δὲ ἑτέρου ἂν εἴη, τοῦ νῦν ἄρχοντος. θαυμάζω γὰρ εἰ μόνος τῶν ἁπάντων ἀγνώσσεις ὡς ἐγὼ μὲν πάλαι βασιλεὺς ὢν πέπαυμαι τοῖς παισὶ διανείμας τὴν ἀρχήν, ὁ δὲ Ζεὺς μάλιστα τῶν τοιούτων ἐπιμελεῖται. τὰ δὲ ἡμέτερα ταῦτα μέχρι πεττῶν καὶ κρότου καὶ ᾠδῆς καὶ μέθης, καὶ τοῦτο οὐ πλέον ἡμερῶν ἑπτά. ὥστε περὶ τῶν μειζόνων ἃ φής—ἀφελεῖν τὸ ἄνισον καὶ ἐκ τῆς ὁμοίας ἢ πένεσθαι ἢ πλουτεῖν ἅπαντας—ὁ Ζεὺς ἂν χρηματίσειεν ὑμῖν. Εἰ δέ τι τῶν ἐκ τῆς ἑορτῆς ἀδικοῖτό τις ἢ πλεονεκτοῖτο, ἐμὸν ἂν εἴη δικάζειν. καὶ ἐπιστέλλω δὲ τοῖς πλουσίοις περὶ τῶν δείπνων καὶ τοῦ χοίνικος τοῦ χρυσίου καὶ τῶν ἐσθήτων, ὡς καὶ ὑμῖν πέμποιεν ἐς τὴν ἑορτήν. δίκαια γὰρ ταῦτα καὶ ἄξια αὐτοὺς ποιεῖν, ὡς φατέ, εἰ μή τι εὔλογον ἐκεῖνοι πρὸς ταῦτα λέγειν ἔχωσιν.

[¶6] 26. But in general you must realise that you poor people have been deceived and have a false view of the rich. You think that they are completely happy and they alone live a life that’s pleasant, because they can have expensive dinners, get drunk on sweet wine, mix with pretty boys and women, and wear soft clothing. You have no idea what the truth of it is. In the first place these things bring no little worry: they are compelled to keep a watchful eye on every detail so that the steward doesn’t get away with any carelessness or theft, that the wine doesn’t go sour, that the corn isn’t swarming with weevils, that a burglar doesn’t steal the drinking-cups, or the people believe the rabble-rousers when they say the rich man wants to be a tyrant. All these things, moreover, would not make up the tiniest fraction of their troubles. If you had only known the fears and worries they have, you would have thought wealth something to be avoided at all costs.

> Greek: 26. τὸ δὲ ὅλον, ἴστε οἱ πένητες ὑμεῖς ἐξηπατημένοι καὶ οὐκ ὀρθῶς δοξάζοντες περὶ τῶν πλουσίων, οἵ γε πανευδαίμονας αὐτοὺς οἴεσθε εἶναι καὶ μόνους ἡδύν τινα βιοῦν τὸν βίον, ὅτι δειπνεῖν τε πολυτελῶς ἔστιν αὐτοῖς καὶ μεθύσκεσθαι οἴνου ἡδέος καὶ παισὶν ὡραίοις καὶ γυναιξὶν ὁμιλεῖν καὶ ἐσθῆσι μαλακαῖς χρῆσθαι. τὸ δὲ πάνυ ἀγνοεῖτε ὁποῖόν ἐστιν. αἵ τε γὰρ φροντίδες αἱ περὶ τούτων οὐ μικραί, ἀλλ’ ἀνάγκη ἐπαγρυπνεῖν ἑκάστοις, μή τι ὁ οἰκονόμος βλακεύσας ἢ ὑφελόμενος λάθῃ, μὴ ὁ οἶνος ὀξυνθῇ, μὴ ὁ σῖτος φθειρὶ ζέσῃ, ἢ ὁ λῃστὴς ὑφέληται τὰ ἐκπώματα, μὴ πιστεύσῃ τοῖς συκοφάνταις ὁ δῆμος λέγουσι τυραννεῖν αὐτὸν ἐθέλειν. ταῦτα δὲ πάντα οὐδὲ τὸ πολλοστὸν ἂν εἴη μέρος τῶν ἀνιώντων αὐτούς. εἰ γοῦν ἠπίστασθε τοὺς φόβους καὶ τὰς μερίμνας ἃς ἔχουσιν, πάνυ ἂν ὑμῖν φευκτέον ὁ πλοῦτος ἔδοξεν.

[¶7] 27. Do you really think that if wealth and kingship were a fine thing I should have been mad enough to let them go and hand them over to others, to sit quietly in private life and put up with orders from another? No, I knew about all this host of troubles which rich men and rulers have to endure, and I gave up my empire, and a good thing too.

> Greek: 27. ἐπεί τοι οἴει με αὐτὸν οὕτως ἄν ποτε κορυβαντιᾶσαι, ὡς εἰ καλὸν ἦν τὸ πλουτεῖν καὶ βασιλεύειν, ἀφέντα ἂν αὐτὰ καὶ παραχωρήσαντα ἄλλοις καθῆσθαι ἰδιωτεύοντα καὶ ἀνέχεσθαι ὑπ’ ἄλλῳ ταττόμενον; ἀλλὰ τὰ πολλὰ ταῦτα εἰδώς, ἃ τοῖς πλουσίοις καὶ ἄρχουσι προσεῖναι ἀνάγκη, ἀφῆκα τὴν ἀρχὴν εὖ ποιῶν.

[¶8] 28. Take the noisy complaints you made to me just now, that they gorged on pork and cakes in the feasting—what do they amount to? Both of them are perhaps sweet and not disagreeable for the moment, but in the aftermath the matter is turned right round. Then, whereas you will get up on the next day without the headache their drinking gives them and the foul, smoky belching from over-fullness, they not only have the pleasure of all this but having spent most of the night in debauchery with boys or women or in any way their lechery takes them, without difficulty they pick up consumption or pneumonia or dropsy from their excessive indulgence. Again, would you find it easy to point out one of them who was not absolutely pale, looking very much like death? Or one who reached old age on his own feet and not carried on four men’s backs, all gold on the outside, but with his inside cobbled like the costumes in tragedy, patched up out of quite worthless rags? You paupers never taste or feed on fish, true enough, but don’t you see that you’ve no acquaintance with gout or pneumonia either, or of anything else that they catch for some other reason? Yet even they themselves don’t find it pleasant eating this food every day beyond what they want of these dishes; no, you’ll see them sometimes with a better appetite for vegetables and thyme than even you have for hare and pork.

> Greek: 28. Καὶ γὰρ ἃ νῦν ἐποτνιῶ πρός με, ὡς τοὺς μὲν ὑῶν καὶ πλακούντων ἐμφορουμένους ἐν τῇ ἑορτῇ, σκέψαι ὁποῖά ἐστι. πρὸς μὲν γὰρ τὸ παρὸν ἡδὺ καὶ οὐκ ἀνιαρὸν ἴσως ἑκάτερον αὐτῶν, πρὸς δὲ τὰ μετὰ ταῦτα ἔμπαλιν ἀναστρέφεται τὸ πρᾶγμα. εἶτα ὑμεῖς μὲν οὔτε καρηβαροῦντες ἀνασταίητ’ ἂν ἐς τὴν ὑστεραίαν ὥσπερ ἐκεῖνοι ὑπὸ τῆς μέθης οὔτε ὑπὸ τῆς ἄγαν πλησμονῆς δυσῶδές τι καὶ καπνωδέστερον ἐρυγγάνοντες· οἱ δὲ τούτων τε ἀπολαύουσι καὶ τὸ πολὺ τῆς νυκτὸς ἢ παισὶν ἢ γυναιξὶν ἢ ὅπως ἂν ὁ τράγος κελεύῃ συναναφυρέντες ἢ φθόην ἢ περιπνευμονίαν ἢ ὕδερον οὐ χαλεπῶς συνελέξαντο ἐκ τῆς πολλῆς τρυφῆς. ἢ τίνα ἂν αὐτῶν ῥᾳδίως δεῖξαι δύναιο μὴ πάντως ὠχρὸν ὄντα πολὺ τὸ νεκρῶδες ἐμφαίνοντα; τίνα δὲ ἐς γῆρας ἀφικόμενον τοῖς αὐτοῦ ποσίν, ἀλλὰ μὴ φοράδην ἐπὶ τεττάρων ὀχούμενον, ὁλόχρυσον μὲν τὰ ἔξω, κατάρραφον δὲ τὰ ἔνδον, ὥσπερ αἱ τραγικαὶ ἐσθῆτες ἐκ ῥακῶν πάνυ εὐτελῶν συγκεκαττυμέναι; ὑμεῖς δὲ ἰχθύων μὲν ἄγευστοι καὶ ἄσιτοι, ποδάγρας δὲ ἢ περιπνευμονίας οὐχ ὁρᾶθ’ ὅτι καὶ τούτων ἄπειροί ἐστε, ἢ εἴ τι κατ’ ἄλλην τινὰ αἰτίαν συμβαίνει; καίτοι οὐδ’ αὐτοῖς ἐκείνοις ἡδύ ἐστιν αὐτὸν καθ’ ἡμέραν καὶ πέρα τοῦ κόρου ἐσθίειν τούτων, ἀλλὰ ἴδοις ἂν αὐτοὺς οὕτω λαχάνων καὶ θύμου ὀρεγομένους ἐνίοτε, ὥσπερ οὐδὲ σὺ τῶν λαγωῶν καὶ ὑῶν.

[¶9] 29. I say nothing of the other things that worry them—a licentious son, a wife in love with a servant, a loved one who yields because he has to and not because he wants. Altogether there’s a great deal you don’t know of—you only see their gold and purple, and whenever you see them riding out behind a white team you gape and do obeisance to them. Now if you ignored and despised them and neither turned to look at their silver carriage nor during conversation glanced at the emerald in their ring and touched their dress in admiration at its softness, but let them be rich for themselves alone, you may be quite sure they would come to you of their own accord and beg you to dine with them so that they might show you their couches and tables and cups, which are no use if people don’t see that they’re yours.

> Greek: 29. Ἐῶ λέγειν ὅσα ἄλλα λυπεῖ αὐτούς—υἱὸς ἀκόλαστος ἢ γυνὴ τοῦ οἰκέτου ἐρῶσα ἢ ἐρώμενος πρὸς ἀνάγκην μᾶλλον ἢ πρὸς ἡδονὴν συνών. καὶ ὅλως πολλά ἐστιν ἅπερ ὑμεῖς ἀγνοοῦντες τὸν χρυσὸν ὁρᾶτε αὐτῶν μόνον καὶ τὴν πορφύραν, καὶ ἢν ἴδητέ ποτε ἐξελαύνοντας ἐπὶ λευκοῦ ζεύγους, κεχήνατε καὶ προσκυνεῖτε. εἰ δὲ ὑπερεωρᾶτε αὐτῶν καὶ κατεφρονεῖτε καὶ μήτε ἐπεστρέφεσθε πρὸς τὴν ἀργυρᾶν ἁρμάμαξαν μήτε μεταξὺ διαλεγομένων εἰς τὸν ἐν τῷ δακτυλίῳ σμάραγδον ἀφεωρᾶτε καὶ τῶν ἱματίων παραπτόμενοι τὸ μαλακὸν ἐθαυμάζετε, ἀλλ’ εἰᾶτε καθ’ ἑαυτοὺς πλουτεῖν, εὖ ἴστε, αὐτοὶ ἐφ’ ὑμᾶς ἰόντες ἐδέοντο συνδειπνεῖν, ὡς ἐπιδείξαιντο ὑμῖν τὰς κλίνας καὶ τὰς τραπέζας καὶ τὰ ἐκπώματα, ὧν οὐδὲν ὄφελος, εἰ ἀμάρτυρος ἡ κτῆσις εἴη.

[¶10] 30. In fact most of what they have you would find they get on your account, not for their own use, but to impress you poor people. This, then, is the advice I give you, knowing both ways of life as I do. And it is right that during the festival you should remember that after a little time you must all depart from life, the rich giving up their wealth and you your poverty. But I shall write to them as I promised and I know they will not despise my words.

> Greek: 30. τά γέ τοι πλεῖστα εὕροιτε ἂν αὐτοὺς ὑμῶν ἕνεκα κτωμένους, οὐχ ὅπως αὐτοὶ χρήσωνται, ἀλλ’ ὅπως ὑμεῖς θαυμάζοιτε. Ταῦτα ὑμᾶς παραμυθοῦμαι εἰδὼς τὸν βίον ἑκάτερον, καὶ ἄξιον ἑορτάζειν ἐνθυμουμένους ὅτι μετ’ ὀλίγον ἅπαντας δεήσει ἀπιέναι ἐκ τοῦ βίου κἀκείνους τὸν πλοῦτον καὶ ὑμᾶς τὴν πενίαν ἀφέντας. πλὴν ἐπιστελῶ γε αὐτοῖς ὥσπερ ὑπεσχόμην, καὶ οἶδ’ ὅτι οὐκ ὀλιγωρήσουσι τῶν ἐμῶν γραμμάτων.

[¶11] 31. 3. Cronus to the Rich—Greetings! The poor have recently written me complaining that you don’t let them share what you have, and, to be brief, they asked me to make the good things common to all and let everyone have his bit. It was right, they said, for there to be equality and not for one man to have too much of what is pleasing while another goes without altogether. I replied that Zeus would see to that better than I, but with regard to the present and the injustices they suppose they suffer at festival-time I saw that here judgment was in my hands. I promised to write to you. Now these requests seem to me to be reasonable. “How,” they say, “can we, shivering in this extreme cold and in the grip of famine, keep festival as well?” So if I wanted them too to share in the festival, they bade me compel you to give them a share of any clothing you have above your needs or any too coarse for you, and to sprinkle on them a little of your gold. If you do that, they say, they will not even argue with you before Zeus any more about your possessions. Otherwise they threaten a summons for redistribution of property just as soon as Zeus begins his cases. These things are not at all difficult for you to grant out of all that you are rightly blessed with.

> Greek: 31. 3. ΚΡΟΝΟΣ ΤΟΙΣ ΠΛΟΥΣΙΟΙΣ ΧΑΙΡΕΙΝ Οἱ πένητες ἔναγχος ἐπεστάλκασί μοι αἰτιώμενοι ὑμᾶς μὴ μεταδιδόναι σφίσιν ὧν ἔχετε, καὶ τὸ μὲν ὅλον ἠξίουν με κοινὰ πᾶσι ποιεῖν τἀγαθὰ καὶ τὸ μέρος ἕκαστον αὐτῶν ἔχειν. δίκαιον γὰρ εἶναι ἰσοτιμίαν καθεστηκέναι καὶ μὴ τῷ μὲν πλέον, τῷ δὲ μηδ’ ὅλως μετεῖναι τῶν ἡδέων. ἐγὼ δὲ περὶ μὲν τούτων ἔφην ἄμεινον σκέψασθαι τὸν Δία, περὶ δὲ τῶν παρόντων καὶ ὧν ἀδικεῖσθαι ᾤοντο κατὰ τὴν ἑορτὴν ἑώρων ἐπ’ ἐμὲ καθήκουσαν τὴν κρίσιν, καὶ ὑπεσχόμην γράψειν πρὸς ὑμᾶς. Ἔστι δὲ ἅπερ ἀξιοῦσι ταῦτα μέτρια, ὡς ἐμοὶ ἔδοξε. πῶς γάρ, φασί, ῥιγοῦντες τοσούτῳ κρύει καὶ λιμῷ ἐχόμενοι προσέτι ἑορτάζοιμεν ἄν; εἰ τοίνυν ἐθέλοιμι κἀκείνους μετέχειν τῆς ἑορτῆς, ἐκέλευόν με ἀναγκάσαι ὑμᾶς ἐσθήτων τε ὧν ἔχετε μεταδοῦναι αὐτοῖς, εἴ τινες περιτταὶ καὶ παχύτεραι ἢ καθ’ ὑμᾶς, καὶ τοῦ χρυσίου ὀλίγον ἐπιστάξαι αὐτοῖς. εἰ γὰρ ταῦτα, φασί, ποιήσετε, μηδὲ ἀμφισβητεῖν ὑμῖν ἔτι τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἐπὶ τοῦ Διός, εἰ δὲ μή, ἀπειλοῦσι προσκαλέσασθαι ἐπὶ τὸν ἀναδασμόν, ἐπειδὰν τὸ πρῶτον δίκας ὁ Ζεὺς προθῇ. ταῦτά ἐστιν οὐ πάνυ χαλεπὰ ὑμῖν ἀπὸ τοσούτων ἃ καλῶς ποιοῦντες ἔχετε.

[¶12] 32. Oh yes, the dinners and their dining with you—they asked me to add this to my letter, that at present you gorge alone behind locked doors, and, if ever at long intervals you are willing to entertain any of them, there is more annoyance than good cheer in the dinner, and most of what happens is done to hurt them—that business of not drinking the same wine as you, for instance—goodness! how ungenerous that is! They themselves might well be condemned for not getting up and going during the proceedings and leaving the banquet entirely to you. But they say that even so they do not drink their fill, for your cup-bearers, like Odysseus’s companions, have had their ears stuffed with wax. The rest is so disgraceful that I hesitate to mention their complaints of the way the meat is apportioned and how the servants stand beside you until you are full to bursting, but run past them. There are many more like complaints of meanness, complaints that bring little credit to gentlemen. In fact the pleasantest thing, more in keeping with conviviality, is equality, and a controller of the feast presides over your banquets just so that all can have an equal share.

> Greek: 32. Νὴ Δία καὶ τῶν δείπνων πέρι, ὡς συνδειπνοῖεν ὑμῖν—καὶ τοῦτο προσθεῖναι ἠξίουν τῇ ἐπιστολῇ, ὡς νῦν γε μόνους ὑμᾶς τρυφᾶν ἐπικλεισαμένους τὰς θύρας, εἰ δέ ποτε κἀκείνων τινὰς ἑστιᾶν διὰ μακροῦ ἐθελήσετε, πλέον τοῦ εὐφραίνοντος ἐνεῖναι τὸ ἀνιαρὸν τῷ δείπνῳ, καὶ τὰ πολλὰ ἐφ’ ὕβρει αὐτῶν γίγνεσθαι—οἷον ἐκεῖνο τὸ μὴ τοῦ αὐτοῦ οἴνου συμπίνειν, Ἡράκλεις, ὡς ἀνελεύθερον. καὶ καταγιγνώσκειν αὐτῶν ἐκείνων ἄξιον, ὅτι μὴ μεταξὺ ἀναστάντες οἴχονται ὅλον ὑμῖν τὸ συμπόσιον καταλιπόντες. ἀλλ’ οὐδὲ ἐς κόρον ὅμως φασὶ πίνειν. τοὺς γὰρ οἰνοχόους ὑμῶν ὥσπερ τοὺς Ὀδυσσέως ἑταίρους κηρῷ βεβύσθαι τὰ ὦτα. τὰ μὲν γὰρ ἄλλα οὕτως αἰσχρά ἐστιν, ὥστε ὀκνῶ λέγειν, ἃ περὶ τῆς νομῆς τῶν κρεῶν αἰτιῶνται καὶ τῶν διακόνων, ὑμῖν μὲν παρεστώτων ἔστ’ ἂν ὑπερεμφορηθῆτε, ἐκείνους δὲ παραθεόντων, καὶ ἄλλα πολλὰ τοιαῦτα μικροπρεπῆ καὶ ἥκιστα ἐλευθέροις πρέποντα. τὸ γοῦν ἥδιστον καὶ συμποτικώτερον ἡ ἰσοτιμία ἐστί, καὶ ὁ ἰσοδαίτης τούτου ἕνεκα ἡγεῖται ὑμῖν τῶν συμποσίων, ὡς τὸ ἴσον ἅπαντες ἔχοιεν.

[¶13] 33. See to it then that they don’t accuse you any more, but respect and like you for their share in these few things; the expense is nothing to you, but they will never forget that you gave in time of need. Besides, you could not even live in your cities if the poor were not your fellow-citizens and did not contribute in thousands of ways to your happiness; and you would have no one to admire your wealth if you were rich in isolation, privately, and in obscurity. So let many see and admire your silver and your tables, and when you are pledging friendship let them, while they are drinking, examine the cup and estimate the weight themselves, determine the accuracy of the story told on it and the amount of gold that adorns the work. For as well as being called good and kindly you will stop being envied by them. For who would envy the man who goes shares and gives what is fair? And who would not pray for him to live as long as possible in the enjoyment of his blessings? As you are now, your happiness has no witness, your riches are begrudged you, and your life is unpleasant.

> Greek: 33. Ὁρᾶτε οὖν ὅπως μηκέτι ὑμᾶς αἰτιάσωνται, ἀλλὰ τιμήσωσι καὶ φιλήσωσι τῶν ὀλίγων τούτων μεταλαμβάνοντες· ὧν ὑμῖν μὲν ἡ δαπάνη ἀνεπαίσθητος, ἐκείνοις δὲ ἐν καιρῷ τῆς χρείας ἡ δόσις ἀείμνηστος. ἄλλως τε οὐδ’ ἂν οἰκεῖν δύναισθε τὰς πόλεις μὴ οὐχὶ καὶ πενήτων συμπολιτευομένων καὶ μυρία πρὸς τὴν εὐδαιμονίαν ὑμῖν συντελούντων, οὐδ’ ἂν ἔχοιτε τοὺς θαυμάζοντας ὑμῶν τὸν πλοῦτον, ἢν μόνοι καὶ ἰδίᾳ καὶ ὑπὸ σκότῳ πλουτῆτε. ἰδέτωσαν οὖν πολλοὶ καὶ θαυμασάτωσαν ὑμῶν τὸν ἄργυρον καὶ τὰς τραπέζας καὶ προπινόντων φιλοτησίας, μεταξὺ πίνοντες περισκοπείτωσαν τὸ ἔκπωμα καὶ τὸ βάρος ἴστωσαν αὐτοὶ διαβαστάσαντες καὶ τῆς ἱστορίας τὸ ἀκριβὲς καὶ τὸν χρυσὸν ὅσος, ὃς ἐπανθεῖ τῇ τέχνῃ. πρὸς γὰρ τῷ χρηστοὺς καὶ φιλανθρώπους ἀκούειν καὶ τοῦ φθονεῖσθαι ὑπ’ αὐτῶν ἔξω γενήσεσθε. τίς γὰρ ἂν φθονήσειε τῷ κοινωνοῦντι καὶ διδόντι τῶν μετρίων; τίς δ’ οὐκ ἂν εὔξαιτο εἰς τὸ μήκιστον διαβιῶναι αὐτὸν ἀπολαύοντα τῶν ἀγαθῶν; ὡς δὲ νῦν ἔχετε, ἀμάρτυρος μὲν ἡ εὐδαιμονία, ἐπίφθονος δὲ ὁ πλοῦτος, ἀηδὴς δὲ ὁ βίος.

[¶14] 34. It certainly cannot, I am sure, be as pleasant to have your fill by yourselves, as they say lions and lone wolves do, as to mix with clever fellows and those who try in every way to please. In the first place they will not allow your banquet to be deaf and dumb. No, their company means convivial stories, harmless jests, and all sorts of expressions of friendship; these are the pleasantest sorts of pastimes, dear to Dionysus and Aphrodite, dear too to the Graces. Then they will talk to everyone next day of your sociability and get you liked. And this is rightly worth a great deal.

> Greek: 34. οὐδὲ γὰρ οὐδὲ ὁμοίως ἡδύ, οἶμαι, μόνον ἐμπίπλασθαι, ὥσπερ τοὺς λέοντάς φασι καὶ τοὺς μονιοὺς τῶν λύκων, καὶ συνόντας δεξιοῖς ἀνδράσι καὶ πάντα χαρίζεσθαι πειρωμένοις, οἳ πρῶτα μὲν οὐ κωφὸν καὶ ἄφωνον τὸ συμπόσιον ἐάσουσιν εἶναι, ἀλλ’ ἐν μύθοις συμποτικοῖς καὶ σκώμμασιν ἀνεπαχθέσι καὶ φιλοφροσύναις ποικίλαις συνέσονται, οἷαι διατριβαὶ ἥδισται, φίλαι μὲν Διονύσῳ καὶ Ἀφροδίτῃ, φίλαι δὲ Χάρισιν, ἔπειτα δὲ πρὸς ἅπαντας ἐς τὴν ὑστεραίαν διηγούμενοι ὑμῶν τὴν δεξιότητα φιλεῖσθαι παρασκευάσουσι. ταῦτα πολλοῦ πρίασθαι καλῶς εἶχεν.

[¶15] 35. I will ask you something. Let us suppose the poor went about with their eyes shut; wouldn’t you be cross when you had no one to show your purple clothes, your thronging attendants, the size of your rings? I leave aside the plots, the hatred you must stir up in the poor against you if you choose to enjoy your luxury alone. Terrible are the curses they threaten to utter against you. May they never be constrained to utter them! For then you will taste neither sausages nor cakes, except what the dog may have left, your lentil-soup will have salt-fish dissolved in it, your boar and deer while they’re being roasted will plan escape from the oven to the hills, and your birds, wingless though they be,—shoo there!—they will be flying at full stretch to the homes of the selfsame poor. And worst of all, the prettiest of your wine-servers will turn bald all at once, and that after breaking your jar. Well, then, make plans that befit the festival and are safest for you. Lighten their great poverty for them, and at slight cost you will find friends who are far from despicable.

> Greek: 35. Ἐπεὶ ἐρήσομαι ὑμᾶς, εἰ μύοντες οἱ πένητες βαδίζοιεν—ὑποθώμεθα γὰρ οὕτως—οὐκ ἂν ὑμᾶς ἠνίασεν οὐκ ἔχοντας οἷς ἐπιδείξαισθε τὰς ἁλουργεῖς ἐσθῆτας καὶ τῶν ἀκολουθούντων τὸ πλῆθος ἢ τῶν δακτυλίων τὸ μέγεθος; ἐῶ λέγειν ὡς καὶ ἐπιβουλὰς καὶ μίση παρὰ τῶν πενήτων ἀναγκαῖον ἐγγίγνεσθαι πρὸς ὑμᾶς, ἢν μόνοι τρυφᾶν ἐθέλητε. ἃ μὲν γὰρ εὔξασθαι καθ’ ὑμῶν ἀπειλοῦσιν, ἀποτρόπαια, μηδὲ γένοιτο εἰς ἀνάγκην αὐτοὺς καταστῆναι τῆς εὐχῆς. ἐπεὶ οὔτε ἀλλάντων γεύσεσθε οὔτε πλακοῦντος ἢ εἴ τι λείψανον τῆς κυνός, ἡ φακῆ δὲ ὑμῖν σαπέρδην ἐντετηκότα ἕξει, ὗς δὲ καὶ ἔλαφος ὀπτώμενοι μεταξὺ δρασμὸν βουλεύσουσιν ἐκ τοῦ ὀπτανείου ἐς τὸ ὄρος, καὶ ὄρνις ψύττα κατατείνασαι ἄπτεροι καὶ αὗται παρ’ αὐτοὺς τοὺς πένητας ἐκπετήσονται. τὸ δὲ μέγιστον, οἱ ὡραιότατοι τῶν οἰνοχόων φαλακροὶ ἐν ἀκαρεῖ τοῦ χρόνου ὑμῖν γενήσονται, ἐπὶ κατεαγότι καὶ ταῦτα τῷ ἀμφορεῖ. Πρὸς τάδε βουλεύεσθε ἃ καὶ τῇ ἑορτῇ πρέποντα γένοιτ’ ἂν καὶ ὑμῖν ἀσφαλέστατα, καὶ ἐπικουφίζετε πολλὴν τὴν πενίαν αὐτοῖς ἀπ’ ὀλίγου τελέσματος φίλους οὐ μεμπτοὺς ἕξοντες.

[¶16] 36. 4. THE RICH TO CRONUS—GREETINGS! Do you really think that you are the only one written to by the poor in this vein, Cronus? Isn’t Zeus already quite deaf from the din of their de- mands for just that, a redistribution of wealth, and of their charges against fate for inequality in distri- bution and against us for not considering giving them any share? But he, being Zeus, knows who is to blame, and for that reason takes no notice of most of their complaints. Nevertheless we shall defend ourselves to you, since you are our lord at present. We for our part have set before us all you have written—that it was a fine thing to succour the needy out of our plenty, and that it was more agreeable to mix and feast with the poor. This is what we always used to do, putting ourselves on an equal footing with them so that not even our guest himself could find anything to complain of.

> Greek: 36. 4. ΟΙ ΠΛΟΥΣΙΟΙ ΤΩΙ ΚΡΟΝΩΙ ΧΑΙΡΕΙΝ Πρὸς γὰρ σὲ οἴει μόνον ὑπὸ τῶν πενήτων ταῦτα γεγράφθαι, ὦ Κρόνε, οὐχὶ δὲ καὶ ὁ Ζεὺς ἤδη ἐκκεκώφηται πρὸς αὐτῶν ἀναβοώντων καὶ αὐτὰ δὴ ταῦτα τὸν ἀναδασμὸν ἀξιούντων γενέσθαι καὶ αἰτιωμένων τήν τε εἱμαρμένην ὡς ἄνισον τὴν νομὴν πεποιημένην καὶ ἡμᾶς ὅτι μηδενὸς αὐτοῖς μεταδιδόναι ἀξιοῦμεν; ἀλλ’ οἶδεν ἐκεῖνος, ἅτε Ζεὺς ὤν, παρ’ οἷστισιν ἡ αἰτία, καὶ διὰ τοῦτο παρακούει αὐτῶν τὰ πολλά. σοὶ δὲ ὅμως ἀπολογησόμεθα, ἐπείπερ ἄρχεις γε νῦν ἡμῶν. Ἡμεῖς μὲν γὰρ ἅπαντα πρὸ ὀφθαλμῶν λαβόντες ἃ γέγραφας, ὡς καλὸν ἐπικουρεῖν ἀπὸ πολλῶν τοῖς δεομένοις καὶ ὡς ἥδιον συνεῖναι καὶ συνευωχεῖσθαι τοῖς πένησιν, ἀεὶ διετελοῦμεν οὕτω ποιοῦντες ἰσοδίαιτοι καθεστῶτες, ὡς ἂν μηδὲ τὸν συνδαίτην αὐτὸν αἰτιάσασθαί τι.

[¶17] 37. Now in the beginning they said that they asked for very little, but once we had opened our doors to them they never stopped making demand after demand; and if they didn’t get it all immediately and on demand then there was bad tem- per and ill-feeling, and maledictions came readily enough. And if they told a lie about us then those who heard them believed them, for they supposed their knowledge to be accurate because they had been with us. So we had the choice either not to give and inevitably be their enemies or to throw everything away and be straightway very poor and enter the ranks of the beggars ourselves.

> Greek: 37. οἱ δὲ ὀλίγων ἐν ἀρχῇ δεῖσθαι φάσκοντες, ἐπειδήπερ ἅπαξ αὐτοῖς ἀνεπετάσαμεν τὰς θύρας, οὐκ ἀνίεσαν ἄλλα ἐπ’ ἄλλοις αἰτοῦντες· εἰ δὲ μὴ πάντα εὐθὺς μηδὲ πρὸς ἔπος λαμβάνοιεν, ὀργὴ καὶ μῖσος καὶ πρόχειροι αἱ βλασφημίαι. κἂν εἴ τι ἐπιψεύδοιντο ἡμῖν, ἀλλ’ οἵ γε ἀκούοντες ἐπίστευον ἂν ὡς ἀκριβῶς εἰδόσιν ἐκ τοῦ συγγεγονέναι. ὥστε δυοῖν θάτερον, ἢ μὴ διδόντα ἐχθρὸν εἶναι πάντως ἔδει ἢ πάντα προϊέμενον αὐτίκα μάλα πένεσθαι καὶ τῶν αἰτούντων καὶ αὐτὸν εἶναι.

[¶18] 38. Now all the rest isn’t so bad compared with these very dinners you mention. For themselves they do not care so much about filling their bellies, but when they’ve drunk more than enough they either nudge the hand of a pretty page when he gives the cup back to them or make attempts on your mistress or your wedded wife. Then, after being sick all over the dining-room, next day back at home they abuse us, saying that they were thirsty and well acquainted with starvation. If you think these are lies we are telling against them, remember your own parasite, Ixion, who was granted a place at the common board and enjoyed equality of rank with you, the gods. Yet he, fine fellow that he was, got drunk and made attempts on Hera.

> Greek: 38. καὶ τὰ μὲν ἄλλα μέτρια· ἐν δὲ τοῖς δείπνοις αὐτοῖς ἀμελήσαντες τοῦ ἐμπίπλασθαι καὶ γαστρίζεσθαι καὶ αὐτοί, ἐπειδὰν πλεῖον τοῦ ἱκανοῦ ἐμπίωσιν, ἢ παιδὸς ὡραίου μεταξὺ ἀναδόντος τὸ ἔκπωμα ἔνυξαν τὴν χεῖρα ἢ παλλακῇ ἢ γαμετῇ γυναικὶ ἐπεχείρησαν. εἶτα κατεμέσαντες τοῦ συμποσίου ἐς τὴν ὑστεραίαν λοιδοροῦνται ἡμῖν κατελθόντες, ὡς ἐδίψησαν καὶ ὡς λιμῷ συνῆσαν διηγούμενοι. καὶ εἴ σοι ταῦτα καταψεύδεσθαι αὐτῶν δοκοῦμεν, τὸν ὑμέτερον παράσιτον ἀναμνήσθητι τὸν ᾿Ιξίονα, ὃς ἀξιωθεὶς κοινῆς τραπέζης, ἀξίωμα ἔχων ἴσον ὑμῖν, τῇ Ἥρᾳ μεθυσθεὶς ἐπεχείρει ὁ γενναῖος.

[¶19] 39. It’s this sort of thing that makes us determine not to let them in the house again, for our own safety’s sake. But if they were to make an agreement with you to be moderate in their demands, as they now say they are, and refrain from bad behaviour during banquets, then let them join us and dine with us, and good luck to them! Furthermore we shall send some of our clothing, as you direct, and spend as much gold as we can as well, and altogether we shan’t be found wanting in anything. And let them in their turn cease to be artful in their dealings with us and be friends instead of toadies and spongers. You will find no fault in us if they will do what they ought.

> Greek: 39. Ταῦτ’ ἐστὶ καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα, ὑφ’ ὧν ἡμεῖς ἐβουλευσάμεθα πρὸς τὸ λοιπὸν ἀσφαλείας τῆς ἡμετέρας ἕνεκεν μηκέτι ἐπιβατὸν αὐτοῖς ποιεῖν τὴν οἰκίαν. εἰ δὲ ἐπὶ σοῦ συνθοῖντο μετρίων δεήσεσθαι, ὥσπερ νῦν φασι, μηδὲν δὲ ὑβριστικὸν ἐν τοῖς συμποσίοις ἐργάσεσθαι, κοινωνούντων ἡμῖν καὶ συνδειπνούντων τύχῃ τῇ ἀγαθῇ. καὶ τῶν ἱματίων, ὡς σὺ κελεύεις, πέμψομεν καὶ τοῦ χρυσίου ὁπόσον οἷόν τε καὶ προσδαπανήσομεν, καὶ ὅλως οὐδὲν ἐλλείψομεν. καὶ αὐτοὶ δὲ ἀφέμενοι τοῦ κατὰ τέχνην ὁμιλεῖν ἡμῖν φίλοι ἀντὶ κολάκων καὶ παρασίτων ἔστωσαν. ὡς ἡμᾶς γε οὐδὲν ἂν αἰτιάσαιο κἀκείνων τὰ δέοντα ποιεῖν ἐθελόντων.