---
title: "The Dead Come to Life, or The Fisherman · Ἀναβιοῦντες ἢ Ἁλιεύς"
author: "Lucian"
translator: "Austin Morris Harmon"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Classical Greek"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/
cite: "Lucian, tr. Austin Morris Harmon, The Dead Come to Life, or The Fisherman · Ἀναβιοῦντες ἢ Ἁλιεύς. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/"
---

# The Dead Come to Life, or The Fisherman · Ἀναβιοῦντες ἢ Ἁλιεύς

*Lucian, tr. Austin Morris Harmon*

The philosophers of old return from Hades to put Lucian on trial for the auction; he fishes for impostors with a hook baited with gold.

> Greek: ed. Austin Morris Harmon, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0062.tlg025, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Austin Morris Harmon, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0062.tlg025.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Sections 1–26](https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/1.md)
2. [Sections 27–52](https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/2.md)

## 1. Sections 1–26

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/1/#p-N

[¶0] 1. SOCRATES: Pelt, pelt the scoundrel with plenty of stones! Heap him with clods! Pile him up with broken dishes, too! Beat the blackguard with your sticks! Look out he doesn’t get away! Throw, Plato; you too, Chrysippus; you too; everybody at once! Let’s charge him together. “Let wallet to wallet give succour, and cudgel to cudgel,” for he is our joint enemy, and there is not a man of us whom he has not outraged. Diogenes, ply your stick, if ever you did before; let none of you weaken; let him pay the penalty for his ribaldry. What is this? Have yon given out, Epicurus and Aristippus? Come, that is too bad!
Show yourselves men, ye sages, and call up the fury of battle.

> Greek: 1. Σωκράτης: βάλλε βάλλε τὸν κατάρατον ἀφθόνοις τοῖς λίθοις· ἐπίβαλλε τῶν βώλων· προσεπίβαλλε καὶ τῶν ὀστράκων· παῖε τοῖς ξύλοις τὸν ἀλιτήριον· ὅρα μὴ διαφύγῃ· καὶ σὺ βάλλε, ὦ Πλάτων· καὶ σύ, ὦ Χρύσιππε, καὶ σὺ δέ, καὶ πάντες ἅμα· συνασπίσωμεν ἐπʼ αὐτόν, ὡς πήρη πήρῃφιν ἀρήγῃ, βάκτρα δὲ βάκτροις, κοινὸς γὰρ πολέμιος, καὶ οὐκ ἔστιν ἡμῶν ὅντινα οὐχ ὕβρικε. σὺ δέ, ὦ Διόγενες, εἴ ποτε καὶ ἄλλοτε, χρῶ τῷ ξύλῳ· μηδὲ ἀνῆτε· διδότω τὴν ἀξίαν βλάσφημος ὤν. τί τοῦτο; κεκμήκατε, ὦ Ἐπίκουρε καὶ Ἀρίστιππε; καὶ μὴν οὐκ ἐχρῆν. ἀνέρες ἔστε, σοφοί, μνήσασθε δὲ θούριδος ὀργῆς.

[¶1] 2. SOCRATES: Aristotle, make haste! Still faster! That’s well; the game is bagged. We have you, villain! you shall soon find out what sort of men you have been insulting. But how are we to punish him, to be sure? Let us invent a complex death for him, such as to satisfy us all; in fact he deserves to die seven times over for each of us. PHILOSOPHER: I suggest he be crucified. ANOTHER: Yes, by Heaven; but flogged beforehand. ANOTHER: Let him have his eyes put out long beforehand ANOTHER: Let him have that tongue of his cut off, even longer beforehand.

> Greek: 2. Σωκράτης: Ἀριστότελες, ἐπισπούδασον· ἔτι θᾶττον. εὖ ἔχει· ἑάλωκεν τὸ θηρίον. εἰλήφαμέν σε, ὦ μιαρέ. εἴσῃ γοῦν αὐτίκα οὕστινας ἡμᾶς ὄντας ἐκακηγόρεις. τῷ τρόπῳ δέ τις αὐτὸν καὶ μετέλθῃ; ποικίλον γάρ τινα θάνατον ἐπινοῶμεν κατʼ αὐτοῦ πᾶσιν ἡμῖν ἐξαρκέσαι δυνάμενον· καθʼ ἕκαστον γοῦν ἑπτάκις δίκαιός ἐστιν ἀπολωλέναι. Φιλόσοφος: ἐμοὶ μὲν ἀνασκολοπισθῆναι δοκεῖ αὐτόν. Ἄλλος1: νὴ Δία, μαστιγωθέντα γε πρότερον. Ἄλλος2: πολὺ πρότερον τοὺς ὀφθαλμοὺς ἐκκεκολάφθω. Ἄλλος3: τὴν γλῶτταν αὐτὴν ἔτι πολὺ πρότερον ἀποτετμήσθω.

[¶2] SOCRATES: And you, Empedocles—what do you suggest? EMPEDOCLES: That he be thrown into my crater, so that he may learn not to abuse his betters.

> Greek: Σωκράτης: σοὶ δὲ τί, Ἐμπεδόκλεις, δοκεῖ; Ἐμπεδοκλῆς: εἰς τοὺς κρατῆρας ἐμπεσεῖν αὐτόν, ὡς μάθῃ μὴ λοιδορεῖσθαι τοῖς κρείττοσιν.

[¶3] PLATO: Indeed, the best suggestion would have been for him, like another Pentheus or Orpheus, “To find among the crags a riven doom,” so that each of us might have gone off with a scrap of him.

> Greek: Πλάτων: καὶ μὴν ἄριστον ἦν καθάπερ τινὰ Πενθέα ἢ Ὀρφέα λακιστὸν ἐν πέτραισιν εὑρέσθαι μόρον, ἵνα ἂν καὶ τὸ μέρος αὐτοῦ ἕκαστος ἔχων ἀπηλλάττετο.

[¶4] 3. FRANKNESS: No, no! In the name of Him who hears the suppliant, spare me!

> Greek: 3. Παρρησιάδης: μηδαμῶς· ἀλλὰ πρὸς Ἱκεσίου φείσασθέ μου.

[¶5] PLATO: Your doom is sealed: you cannot be let go now. You know, of course, what Homer says:
Since between lions and men there exist no bonds of alliance.

> Greek: Πλάτων: Ἄραρεν· οὐκ ἂν ἀφεθείης ἔτι. ὁρᾷς δὲ δὴ καὶ τὸν Ὅμηρον ἅ φησιν, ὡς οὐκ ἔστι λέουσι καὶ ἀνδράσιν ὅρκια πιστά.

[¶6] FRANKNESS: Indeed, I myself will quote Homer in begging you for mercy. Perhaps you will revere his verses and will not ignore me when I have recited them:
Save me, for I am no churl, and I receive what is fitting in ransom,
Copper and gold, that in truth are desirable even to sages.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: καὶ μὴν καθʼ Ὅμηρον ὑμᾶς καὶ αὐτὸς ἱκετεύσω· αἰδέσεσθε γὰρ ἴσως τὰ ἔπη καὶ οὐ παρόψεσθε ῥαψῳδήσαντά με·
ζωγρεῖτʼ οὐ κακὸν ἄνδρα καὶ ἄξια δέχθε ἄποινα,
χαλκόν τε χρυσόν τε, τὰ δὴ φιλέουσι σοφοί περ.

[¶7] PLATO: But we ourselves shall not be at a loss for a Homeric reply to you; listen to this, for instance:
Think not now in your heart of escape, you speaker of slander,
Even by talking of gold, oncé into our hands you have fallen.

> Greek: Πλάτων: ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ ἡμεῖς ἀπορήσομεν πρὸς σὲ Ὁμηρικῆς ἀντιλογίας. ἄκουε γοῦν·
μὴ δή μοι φύξιν γε, κακηγόρε, βάλλεο θυμῷ
χρυσόν περ λέξας, ἐπεὶ ἵκεο χεῖρας ἐς ἀμάς.

[¶8] FRANKNESS: Oh, what wretched luck! Homer, in whom I had my greatest hope, is useless to me. I suppose I must take refuge with Euripides; perhaps he might save me:
Slay not! The suppliant thou shalt not skay.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οἴμοι τῶν κακῶν. ὁ μὲν Ὅμηρος ἡμῖν ἄπρακτος, ἡ μεγίστη ἐλπίς. ἐπὶ τὸν Εὐριπίδην δή μοι καταφευκτέον· τάχα γὰρ ἂν ἐκεῖνος σώσειέ με. μὴ κτεῖνε· τὸν ἱκέτην γὰρ οὐ θέμις κτανεῖν.

[¶9] PLATO: Ah, but is not this by Euripides, too?
No harm for them that wrought to suffer harm.

> Greek: Πλάτων: τί δέ; οὐχὶ κἀκεῖνα Εὐριπίδου ἐστίν, οὐ δεινὰ πάσχειν δεινὰ τοὺς εἰργασμένους;

[¶10] FRANKNESS:
hen will ye slay me now, because of words?

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: νῦν οὖν ἕκατι ῥημάτων κτενεῖτέ με;

[¶11] PLATO: Yes, by Heaven! Anyhow, he himself says:
Of mouths that are curbless
And fools that are lawless
The end is mischance.

> Greek: Πλάτων: νὴ Δία· φησὶ γοῦν ἐκεῖνος αὐτός,
ἀχαλίνων στομάτων
ἀνόμου τʼ ἀφροσύνας
τὸ τέλος δυστυχία.

[¶12] 4. FRANKNESS: Well, then, as you are absolutely determined to kill me and there is no possibility of my escaping, do tell me at least who you are and what irreparable injuries you have received from me that you’ are irreconcilably angry and have seized me for execution.

> Greek: 4. Παρρησιάδης: οὐκοῦν ἐπεὶ δέδοκται πάντως ἀποκτιννύναι καὶ οὐδεμία μηχανὴ τὸ διαφυγεῖν με, φέρε τοῦτο γοῦν εἴπατέ μοι, τίνες ὄντες ἢ τί πεπονθότες ἀνήκεστον πρὸς ἡμῶν ἀμείλικτα ὀργίζεσθε καὶ ἐπὶ θανάτῳ συνειλήφατε;

[¶13] PLATO: What dreadful wrongs you have done us you may ask yourself, you rascal, and those precious dialogues of yours in which you not only spoke abusively of Philosophy herself, but insulted us by advertising for sale, as if in a slave-market, men who are learned, and what is more, free-born. Indignant at this, we requested a brief leave of absence from Pluto and have come up to get you—Chrysippus here, Epicurus, Plato (myself), Aristotle over there, Pythagoras here, who says nothing, Diogenes, and everyone that you vilified in your dialogues.

> Greek: Πλάτων: ἅτινα μὲν εἴργασαι ἡμᾶς τὰ δεινά, σεαυτὸν ἐρώτα, ὦ κάκιστε, καὶ τοὺς καλοὺς ἐκείνους σου λόγους ἐν οἷς φιλοσοφίαν τε αὐτὴν κακῶς ἠγόρευες καὶ εἰς ἡμᾶς ὕβριζες, ὥσπερ ἐξ ἀγορᾶς ἀποκηρύττων σοφοὺς ἄνδρας, καὶ τὸ μέγιστον, ἐλευθέρους· ἐφʼ οἷς ἀγανακτήσαντες ἀνεληλύθαμεν ἐπὶ σὲ παραιτησάμενοι πρὸς ὀλίγον τὸν Ἀϊδωνέα, Χρύσιππος οὑτοσὶ καὶ Ἐπίκουρος καὶ ὁ Πλάτων ἐγὼ καὶ Ἀριστοτέλης ἐκεῖνος καὶ ὁ σιωπῶν οὗτος Πυθαγόρας καὶ Διογένης καὶ ἅπαντες ὁπόσους διέσυρες ἐν τοῖς λόγοις.

[¶14] 5. FRANKNESS: I breathe again, for you will not put me to death if you understand how I have acted as regards you. So throw away your stones; or better, keep them. You will make use of them against those who deserve them.

> Greek: 5. Παρρησιάδης: ἀνέπνευσα· οὐ γὰρ ἀποκτενεῖτέ με, ἢν μάθητε ὁποῖος ἐγὼ περὶ ὑμᾶς ἐγενόμην· ὥστε ἀπορρίψατε τοὺς λίθους, μᾶλλον δὲ φυλάττετε. χρήσεσθε γὰρ αὐτοῖς κατὰ τῶν ἀξίων.

[¶15] PLATO: Nonsense: you must die to-day. Yes, forthwith
Don your tunic of stone on account of the wrongs you have done us!

> Greek: Πλάτων: ληρεῖς. σὲ δὲ χρὴ τήμερον ἀπολωλέναι, καὶ ἤδη γε λάϊνον ἕσσο χιτῶνα κακῶν ἕνεχʼ ὅσσα ἔοργας.

[¶16] FRANKNESS: Truly, gentlemen, you will put to death, you may depend upon it, the one man in the world whom you ought to commend as your friend, well-wisher, comrade in thought, and, if it be not in bad taste to say so, the defender of your teachings, if you put me to death after I have laboured so earnestly in your behalf. Take care, then, that you yourselves are not acting like most of our present-day philosophers by showing yourselves ungrateful and hasty and inconsiderate toward a benefactor.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: καὶ μήν, Ὢ ἄριστοι, ὃν ἐχρῆν μόνον ἐξ ἁπάντων ἐπαινεῖν οἰκεῖόν τε ὑμῖν ὄντα καὶ εὔνουν καὶ ὁμογνώμονα καί, εἰ μὴ φορτικὸν εἰπεῖν, κηδεμόνα τῶν ἐπιτηδευμάτων εὖ ἴστε ἀποκτενοῦντες, ἢν ἐμὲ ἀποκτείνητε τοσαῦτα ὑπὲρ ὑμῶν πεπονηκότα. ὁρᾶτε οὖν μὴ κατὰ τοὺς πολλοὺς τῶν νῦν φιλοσόφων αὐτοὶ ποιεῖτε, ἀχάριστοι καὶ ὀργίλοι καὶ ἀγνώμονες φαινόμενοι πρὸς ἄνδρα εὐεργέτην.

[¶17] PLATO: O what impudence! So we really owe you gratitude for your abuse, into the bargain? Are you so convinced that you are truly talking to slaves? Will you actually set yourself down as our benefactor, on top of all your insolent and intemperate language?

> Greek: Πλάτων: Ὢ τῆς ἀναισχυντίας. καὶ χάριν σοι τῆς κακηγορίας προσοφείλομεν; οὕτως ἀνδραπόδοις ὡς ἀληθῶς οἴει διαλέγεσθαι; ἢ καὶ εὐεργεσίαν καταλογιῇ πρὸς ἡμᾶς ἐπὶ τῇ τοσαύτῃ ὕβρει καὶ παροινίᾳ τῶν λόγων;

[¶18] 6. FRANKNESS: Where, pray, and when have I insulted you? I have always consistently admired philosophy and extolled you and lived on intimate terms with the writings that you have left behind. These very phrases that I utter—where else but from you did I get them? Culling them like a bee, I make my show with them before men, who applaud and recognize where and from whom and how I gathered each flower; and although ostensibly it is I whom they admire for the bouquet, as a matter of fact it is you and your garden, because you have put forth such blossoms, so gay and varied in their hues—if one but knows how to select and interweave and combine them so that they will not be out of harmony with one another. Would any man, after receiving this kindly treatment at your hands,-attempt to speak ill of benefactors to whom he owes his reputation? Not unless he be like Thamyris or Eurytus in his nature, so as to raise his voice against the Muses from whom he had the gift of song, or to match himself against Apollo in archery—and he the giver of the bow!

> Greek: 6. Παρρησιάδης: ποῦ γὰρ ἐγὼ ὑμᾶς ἢ πότε ὕβρικα, ὃς ἀεὶ φιλοσοφίαν τε θαυμάζων διατετέλεκα καὶ ὑμᾶς αὐτοὺς ὑπερεπαινῶν καὶ τοῖς λόγοις οἷς καταλελοίπατε ὁμιλῶν; αὐτὰ γοῦν ἅ φημι ταῦτα, πόθεν ἄλλοθεν ἢ παρʼ ὑμῶν λαβὼν καὶ κατὰ τὴν μέλιτταν ἀπανθισάμενος ἐπιδείκνυμαι τοῖς ἀνθρώποις; οἱ δὲ ἐπαινοῦσι καὶ γνωρίζουσιν ἕκαστον τὸ ἄνθος ὅθεν καὶ παρʼ ὅτου καὶ ὅπως ἀνελεξάμην, καὶ λόγῳ μὲν ἐμὲ ζηλοῦσι τῆς ἀνθολογίας, τὸ δʼ ἀληθὲς ὑμᾶς καὶ τὸν λειμῶνα τὸν ὑμέτερον, οἳ τοιαῦτα ἐξηνθήκατε ποικίλα καὶ πολυειδῆ τὰς βαφάς, εἴ τις ἀναλέξασθαί τε αὐτὰ ἐπίσταιτο καὶ ἀναπλέξαι καὶ ἁρμόσαι, ὡς μὴ ἀπᾴδειν θάτερον θατέρου. ἔσθʼ ὅστις οὖν ταῦτα εὖ πεπονθὼς παρʼ ὑμῶν κακῶς ἂν εἰπεῖν ἐπιχειρήσειεν εὐεργέτας ἄνδρας, ἀφʼ ὧν εἶναί τις ἔδοξεν; ἐκτὸς εἰ μὴ κατὰ τὸν Θάμυριν ἢ τὸν Εὔρυτον εἴη τὴν φύσιν, ὡς ταῖς Μούσαις ἀντᾴδειν, παρʼ ὧν εἴληφε τὴν ᾠδήν, ἢ τῷ Ἀπόλλωνι ἐριδαίνειν ἐναντία τοξεύων, καὶ ταῦτα δοτῆρι ὄντι τῆς τοξικῆς.

[¶19] 7. PLATO: That speech of yours is good rhetoric, my fine fellow; but it is directly against your case and only makes your presumptuousness appear more staggering, since ingratitude is now added to injustice. For you got your shafts from us, as you admit, and then turned them against us, making it your only aim to speak ill of us all. That is the way you have paid us for opening that garden to you and not forbidding you to pick flowers and go away with your arms full. For that reason, then, above all else, you deserve to die.

> Greek: 7. Πλάτων: τοῦτο μέν, ὦ γενναῖε, κατὰ τοὺς ῥήτορας εἴρηταί σοι· ἐναντιώτατον δʼ οὖν ἐστι τῷ πράγματι καὶ χαλεπωτέραν σου ἐπιδείκνυσι τὴν τόλμαν, εἴ γε τῇ ἀδικίᾳ καὶ ἀχαριστία πρόσεστιν, ὃς παρʼ ἡμῶν τὰ τοξεύματα, ὡς φής, λαβὼν καθʼ ἡμῶν ἐτόξευες, ἕνα τοῦτον ὑποθέμενος τὸν σκοπόν, ἅπαντας ἡμᾶς ἀγορεύειν κακῶς· τοιαῦτα παρὰ σοῦ ἀπειλήφαμεν ἀνθʼ ὧν σοι τὸν λειμῶνα ἐκεῖνον ἀναπετάσαντες οὐκ ἐκωλύομεν δρέπεσθαι καὶ τὸ προκόλπιον ἐμπλησάμενον ἀπελθεῖν· ὥστε διά γε τοῦτο μάλιστα δίκαιος ἂν εἴης ἀποθανεῖν.

[¶20] 8. FRANKNESS: See! You give me an angry-hearing, and you reject every just plea! Yet I should never have supposed that anger could affect. Plato or Chrysippus or Aristotle or the rest of you; it seemed to me that you, and you alone, were surely far away from anything of that kind. But, however that may be, my masters, do not put me to death unsentenced and unheard. This too was once a trait of yours, not to deal with fellow-citizens on a basis of force and superior strength, but to settle your differences by course of law, according, a hearing and in your turn receiving one. So let us choose a judge, and then you may bring your complaint either jointly or through anyone whom you may elect to represent you all; and I will defend.myself against your charges. Then, if I am proven guilty, and the court passes that verdict upon me, I will submit, of course, to the punishment that I deserve, and you will not have taken it upon yourselves to do anything high-handed. But if after I have undergone my investigation I am found innocent and irreproachable, the jury will discharge me, and you will turn your anger against those who nave misled you and set you against me.

> Greek: 8. Παρρησιάδης: ὁρᾶτε· πρὸς ὀργὴν ἀκούετε καὶ οὐδὲν τῶν δικαίων προσίεσθε. καίτοι οὐκ ἂν ᾠήθην ποτὲ ὡς ὀργὴ Πλάτωνος ἢ Χρυσίππου ἢ Ἀριστοτέλους ἢ τῶν ἄλλων ὑμῶν καθίκοιτο ἄν, ἀλλά μοι ἐδοκεῖτε μόνοι δὴ πόρρω εἶναι τοῦ τοιούτου. πλὴν ἀλλὰ μὴ ἄκριτόν γε, ὦ θαυμάσιοι, μηδὲ πρὸ δίκης ἀποκτείνητέ με. ὑμέτερον γοῦν καὶ τοῦτο ἦν, μὴ βίᾳ μηδὲ κατὰ τὸ ἰσχυρότερον πολιτεύεσθαι, δίκῃ δὲ τὰ διάφορα λύεσθαι διδόντας λόγον καὶ δεχομένους ἐν τῷ μέρει. ὥστε δικαστὴν ἑλόμενοι κατηγορήσατε μὲν ὑμεῖς ἢ ἅμα πάντες ἢ ὅντινα ἂν χειροτονήσητε ὑπὲρ ἁπάντων, ἐγὼ δὲ ἀπολογήσομαι πρὸς τὰ ἐγκλήματα. κᾆτα ἢν μέν τι ἀδικῶν φαίνωμαι καὶ τοῦτο περὶ ἐμοῦ γνῷ τὸ δικαστήριον, ὑφέξω δηλαδὴ τὴν ἀξίαν· ὑμεῖς δὲ βίαιον οὐδὲν τολμήσετε· ἢν δὲ τὰς εὐθύνας ὑποσχὼν καθαρὸς ὑμῖν καὶ ἀνεπίληπτος εὑρίσκωμαι, ἀφήσουσί με οἱ δικασταί, ὑμεῖς δὲ εἰς τοὺς ἐξαπατήσαντας ὑμᾶς καὶ παροξύναντας καθʼ ἡμῶν τὴν ὀργὴν τρέψετε.

[¶21] 9. PLATO: There we have it! “Cavalry into the open,” so that you may give the slip to the jury and get away. At any rate, they say that you are an orator and a lawyer and a wizard at making speeches. And whom do you wish to be judge, what is more? It must be someone whom you cannot influence by a bribe, as your sort often do, to cast an unjust ballot in your favour.

> Greek: 9. Πλάτων: τοῦτʼ ἐκεῖνο· εἰς πεδίον τὸν ἵππον, ὡς παρακρουσάμενος τοὺς δικαστὰς ἀπέλθῃς. φασὶ γοῦν ῥήτορά σε καὶ δικανικόν τινα εἶναι καὶ πανοῦργον ἐν τοῖς λόγοις. τίνα δὲ καὶ δικαστὴν ἐθέλεις γενέσθαι, ὅντινα μὴ σὺ δωροδοκήσας, οἷα πολλὰ ποιεῖτε, ἄδικα πείσεις ὑπὲρ σοῦ ψηφίσασθαι;

[¶22] FRANKNESS: Do not be alarmed on that score. I should not care to have any such referee of suspicious or doubtful character, who would sell me his vote. See, for my part I nominate Philosophy herself to the bench, and you yourselves also!

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: θαρρεῖτε τούτου γε ἕνεκα· οὐδένα τοιοῦτον διαιτητὴν ὕποπτον ἢ ἀμφίβολον ἀξιώσαιμʼ ἂν γενέσθαι καὶ ὅστις ἀποδώσεταί μοι τὴν ψῆφον. ὁρᾶτε γοῦν, τὴν Φιλοσοφίαν αὐτὴν μεθʼ ὑμῶν ποιοῦμαι δικάστριαν ἔγωγε.

[¶23] PLATO: And who can conduct the prosecution if we are to be jurors?

> Greek: Πλάτων: καὶ τίς ἂν κατηγορήσειεν, εἴ γε ἡμεῖς δικάσομεν;

[¶24] FRANKNESS: Be prosecutors and jurors at the same time. Even that arrangement has no terrors for me, since I have so much the better of you in the justice of my case and expect to be so over-stocked with pleas.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οἱ αὐτοὶ κατηγορεῖτε καὶ δικάζετε· οὐδὲν οὐδὲ τοῦτο δέδια. τοσοῦτον ὑπερφέρω τοῖς δικαίοις καὶ ἐκ περιουσίας ἀπολογήσεσθαι ὑπολαμβάνω.

[¶25] 10. PLATO: What shall we do, Pythagoras and Socrates? Really, the man seems to be making a reasonable request in demanding a trial.

> Greek: 10. Πλάτων: τί ποιοῦμεν, ὦ Πυθαγόρα καὶ Σώκρατες; ἔοικε γὰρ ἁνὴρ οὐκ ἄλογα προκαλεῖσθαι δικάζεσθαι ἀξιῶν.

[¶26] SOCRATES: What can we do but go to court, taking Philosophy _ with us, and hear his defence, whatever it may be. Prejudgment is not our way; it is terribly unprofessional, characteristic of hot-headed fellows who hold that might is right. We shall lay ourselves open to hard words from those who like to deal in them if we stone a man who has had no opportunity even to plead his case, especially as we ourselves maintain that we delight in just dealing. What could we say of Anytus and Meletus, who prosecuted me, or of the jurors on that occasion, if this fellow is to die without getting any hearing at all?

> Greek: Σωκράτης: τί δὲ ἄλλο ἢ βαδίζωμεν ἐπὶ τὸ δικαστήριον καὶ τὴν Φιλοσοφίαν παραλαβόντες ἀκούσωμεν ὅ τι καὶ ἀπολογήσεται· τὸ πρὸ δίκης γὰρ οὐχ ἡμέτερον, ἀλλὰ δεινῶς ἰδιωτικόν, ὀργίλων τινῶν ἀνθρώπων καὶ τὸ δίκαιον ἐν τῇ χειρὶ τιθεμένων. παρέξομεν οὖν ἀφορμὰς τοῖς κακηγορεῖν ἐθέλουσιν καταλεύσαντες ἄνδρα μηδὲ ἀπολογησάμενον ὑπὲρ ἑαυτοῦ, καὶ ταῦτα δικαιοσύνῃ χαίρειν αὐτοὶ λέγοντες. ἢ τί ἂν εἴποιμεν Ἀνύτον καὶ Μελήτου πέρι, τῶν ἐμοῦ κατηγορησάντων, ἢ τῶν τότε δικαστῶν, εἰ οὗτος τεθνήξεται μηδὲ τὸ παράπαν ὕδατος μεταλαβών;

[¶27] PLATO: Excellent advice, Socrates; so let us go and get Philosophy. She shall judge, and we shall be content with her decision, whatever it may be.

> Greek: Πλάτων: ἄριστα παραινεῖς, ὦ Σώκρατες· ὥστε ἀπίωμεν ἐπὶ τὴν Φιλοσοφίαν. ἡ δὲ δικασάτω, καὶ ἡμεῖς ἀγαπήσομεν οἷς ἂν ἐκείνη διαγνῷ.

[¶28] 11. FRANKNESS: Well done, most learned sirs; this course is better and more legal. Keep your stones, however, as I said; for you will need them presently at court. But where is Philosophy to be found? For my part I do not know where she lives. Yet I wandered very long in search of her dwelling, so that I might study with her. Then I met men with short cloaks and long beards who professed to come directly from her; and thinking that they knew, I questioned them. But they were far more at a loss than I, and either made no answer, in order that they might not ‘be convicted of ignorance, or else pointed out one door after another. Even to this day I have been unable to find her house.

> Greek: 11. Παρρησιάδης: εὖ γε, ὦ σοφώτατοι, ἀμείνω ταῦτα καὶ νομιμώτερα. τοὺς μέντοι λίθους φυλάττετε, ὡς ἔφην· δεήσει γὰρ αὐτῶν μικρὸν ὕστερον ἐν τῷ δικαστηρίῳ. ποῦ δὲ τὴν Φιλοσοφίαν εὕροι τις ἄν; οὐ γὰρ οἶδα ἔνθα οἰκεῖ· καίτοι πάνυ πολὺν ἐπλανήθην χρόνον ἀναζητῶν τὴν οἰκίαν, ὡς συγγενοίμην αὐτῇ. εἶτα ἐντυγχάνων ἄν τισι τριβώνια περιβεβλημένοις καὶ πώγωνας βαθεῖς καθειμένοις παρʼ αὐτῆς ἐκείνης ἥκειν φάσκουσιν, οἰόμενος εἰδέναι αὐτοὺς ἀνηρώτων· οἱ δὲ πολὺ μᾶλλον ἐμοῦ ἀγνοοῦντες ἢ οὐδὲν ὅλως ἀπεκρίναντό μοι, ὡς μὴ ἐλέγχοιντο οὐκ εἰδότες, ἢ ἄλλην θύραν ἀντʼ ἄλλης ἐπεδείκνυον. οὐδέπω γοῦν καὶ τήμερον ἐξευρεῖν δεδύνημαι τὴν οἰκίαν.

[¶29] 12. FRANKNESS: Often, either by guesswork on my own part or under the guidance of someone else; I would go to a door in the firm belief that at last I had found it, drawing my conclusion from the number of men that came and went, all solemn of countenance, decorous in dress, and studious in looks. So I would thrust myself among them and enter also. Then I always saw a hussy who was far from ingenuous, however much she strove to bring herself into harmony with simplicity and plainness. On the contrary, I perceived at once that she did not leave the apparent disorder of her hair unenhanced by art, nor let her mantle hang about her in unstudied folds. It was patent that she used it all asa make-up and employed her seeming negligence to heighten her attractiveness. There were also evidences of enamel and rouge; her talk was quite that of a courtesan; she delighted in being praised by her lovers for her beauty; she took eagerly any presents that were offered; and she would let her wealthy lovers sit close beside her, but would not even look at those who were poor. And often when she exposed her throat as if by accident, I saw gold necklaces thicker than shackles. Qn observing all this I would withdraw at once, pitying, as you may well believe, those poor unfortunates whom she was leading, not by the nose, but by the beard, and who, like Ixion, embraced but a phantom and not Hera.

> Greek: 12. Παρρησιάδης: πολλάκις δὲ ἢ αὐτὸς εἰκάσας ἢ ξεναγήσαντός τινος ἧκον ἂν ἐπί τινας θύρας βεβαίως ἐλπίσας τότε γοῦν εὑρηκέναι, τεκμαιρόμενος τῷ πλήθει τῶν εἰσιόντων τε καὶ ἐξιόντων, ἁπάντων σκυθρωπῶν καὶ τὰ σχήματα εὐσταλῶν καὶ φροντιστικῶν τὴν πρόσοψιν· μετὰ τούτων οὖν συμπαραβυσθεὶς καὶ αὐτὸς εἰσῆλθον ἄν. εἶτα ἑώρων γύναιόν τι οὐχ ἁπλοϊκόν, εἰ καὶ ὅτι μάλιστα εἰς τὸ ἀφελὲς καὶ ἀκόσμητον ἑαυτὴν ἐπερρύθμιζεν, ἀλλὰ κατεφάνη μοι αὐτίκα οὐδὲ τὸ ἄνετον δοκοῦν τῆς κόμης ἀκαλλώπιστον ἐῶσα οὐδὲ τοῦ ἱματίου τὴν ἀναβολὴν ἀνεπιτηδεύτως περιστέλλουσα· πρόδηλος δὲ ἦν κοσμουμένη αὐτοῖς καὶ πρὸς εὐπρέπειαν τῷ ἀθεραπεύτῳ δοκοῦντι προσχρωμένη. ὑπεφαίνετο δέ τι καὶ ψιμύθιον καὶ φῦκος, καὶ τὰ ῥήματα πάνυ ἑταιρικά, καὶ ἐπαινουμένη ὑπὸ τῶν ἐραστῶν εἰς κάλλος ἔχαιρε, καὶ εἰ δοίη τις προχείρως ἐδέχετο, καὶ τοὺς πλουσιωτέρους ἂν παρακαθισαμένη πλησίον τοὺς πένητας τῶν ἐραστῶν οὐδὲ προσέβλεπεν. πολλάκις δὲ καὶ γυμνωθείσης αὐτῆς κατὰ τὸ ἀκούσιον ἑώρων περιδέραια χρυσᾶ τῶν κλοιῶν παχύτερα. ταῦτα ἰδὼν ἐπὶ πόδα ἂν εὐθὺς ἀνέστρεφον, οἰκτείρας δηλαδὴ τοὺς κακοδαίμονας ἐκείνους ἑλκομένους πρὸς αὐτῆς οὐ τῆς ῥινὸς ἀλλὰ τοῦ πώγωνος καὶ κατὰ τὸν Ἰξίονα εἰδώλῳ ἀντὶ τῆς Ἥρας συνόντας.

[¶30] 13. PLATO: You are right in one point: the door is not conspicuous and not known to all. However, there will be no need to go to her house. We shall wait for her here in the Potters’ Quarter. She will come here presently, no doubt, on her way back from the Academy, to stroll in the Painted Porch also, for it is her custom to do so every day. In fact, here she comes now. Do you see her, the mannerly one, the one in the mantle, soft of eye, walking slowly, rapt in thought?

> Greek: 13. Πλάτων: τοῦτο μὲν ὀρθῶς ἔλεξας· οὐ γὰρ πρόδηλος οὐδὲ πᾶσι γνώριμος ἡ θύρα. πλὴν ἀλλὰ οὐδὲν δεήσει βαδίζειν ἐπὶ τὴν οἰκίαν· ἐνταῦθα γὰρ ἐν Κεραμεικῷ ὑπομενοῦμεν αὐτήν. ἡ δὲ ἤδη που ἀφίξεται ἐπανιοῦσα ἐξ Ἀκαδημίας, ὡς περιπατήσειε καὶ ἐν τῇ Ποικίλῃ· τοῦτο γὰρ ὁσημέραι ποιεῖν ἔθος αὐτῇ· μᾶλλον δὲ ἤδη πρόσεισιν. ὁρᾷς τὴν κόσμιον, τὴν ἀπὸ τοῦ σχήματος, τὴν προσηνῆ τὸ βλέμμα, τὴν ἐπὶ συννοίας ἠρέμα βαδίζουσαν;

[¶31] FRANKNESS: I see many who are alike in mantle, walk, and fashion. Yet surely only one, even among then, is the true Philosophy.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: πολλὰς ὁμοίας ὁρῶ τό γε σχῆμα καὶ τὸ βάδισμα καὶ τὴν ἀναβολήν. καίτοι μία πάντως ἥ γε ἀληθὴς Φιλοσοφία καὶ ἐν αὐταῖς.

[¶32] PLATO: Right, but she will show you who she is, just by speaking.

> Greek: Πλάτων: εὖ λέγεις. ἀλλὰ δηλώσει ἥτις ἐστὶ φθεγξαμένη μόνον.

[¶33] 14. PHILOSOPHY: Ah! What are you all doing in the upper world, Plato and Chrysippus and Aristotle and the rest of you, the very fore-front of my studies? Why have you come back to life? Did anything in the underworld ‘distress you? You certainly appear to be angry. And who is this man whom you have taken into custody? Some ghoul or murderer or profaner of holiness, I suppose.

> Greek: 14. Φιλοσοφία: παπαῖ· τί Πλάτων καὶ Χρύσιππος ἄνω καὶ Ἀριστοτέλης καὶ οἱ λοιποὶ ἅπαντες, αὐτὰ δὴ τὰ κεφάλαιά μου τῶν μαθημάτων; τί αὖθις εἰς τὸν βίον; ἆρά τι ὑμᾶς ἐλύπει τῶν κάτω; ὀργιζομένοις γοῦν ἐοίκατε. καὶ τίνα τοῦτον συλλαβόντες ἄγετε; ἦ που τυμβωρύχος τις ἢ ἀνδροφόνος ἢ ἱερόσυλός ἐστιν;

[¶34] PLATO: “Yes, indeed, Philosophy, the most impious of all profaners, for he made bold to speak ill of you, than whom nothing is more holy, and of us, one and all, who learned something from you and have left it to those who came after us.

> Greek: Πλάτων: νὴ Δία, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, πάντων γε ἱεροσύλων ἀσεβέστατος, ὃς τὴν ἱερωτάτην σὲ κακῶς ἀγορεύειν ἐπεχείρησεν καὶ ἡμᾶς ἅπαντας, ὁπόσοι τι παρὰ σοῦ μαθόντες τοῖς μεθʼ ἡμᾶς καταλελοίπαμεν.

[¶35] PHILOSOPHY: Then it made you angry to be vituperated? And yet you knew that in spite of the hard names which Comedy calls me during the festival of Dionysus, I have held her my friend, and neither sued her at law nor berated her in private, but permit her to make the fun that is in keeping and customary at the festival. I am aware, you see, that no harm can be done by a joke; that, on the contrary, whatever is beautiful shines brighter and becomes more conspicuous, like gold cleansed by its minting. But you, for some reason or other, have grown hot-tempered and violent. Tell me, why do you throttle him?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: εἶτα ἠγανακτήσατε λοιδορησαμένου τινός, καὶ ταῦτα εἰδότες ἐμέ, οἷα πρὸς τῆς Κωμῳδίας ἀκούουσα ἐν Διονυσίοις ὅμως φίλην τε αὐτὴν ἥγημαι καὶ οὔτε ἐδικασάμην οὔτε ᾐτιασάμην προσελθοῦσα, ἐφίημι δὲ παίζειν τὰ εἰκότα καὶ τὰ συνήθη τῇ ἑορτῇ; οἶδα γὰρ ὡς οὐκ ἄν τι ὑπὸ σκώμματος χεῖρον γένοιτο, ἀλλὰ τοὐναντίον ὅπερ ἂν ᾖ καλόν, ὥσπερ τὸ χρυσίον ἀποσμώμενον τοῖς κόμμασι, λαμπρότερον ἀποστίλβει καὶ φανερώτερον γίγνεται. ὑμεῖς δὲ οὐκ οἶδα ὅπως ὀργίλοι καὶ ἀγανακτικοὶ γεγόνατε. τί δʼ οὖν αὐτὸν ἄγχετε;

[¶36] PLATO: "Obtaining leave of absence for this one day, we came to get him, so that he may pay the penalty for what he has done; for rumours repeatedly told us what sort of language he used in public against us.

> Greek: Πλάτων: μίαν ἡμέραν ταύτην παραιτησάμενοι ἥκομεν ἐπʼ αὐτὸν ὡς ὑπόσχῃ τὴν ἀξίαν ὧν δέδρακεν. φῆμαι γὰρ ἡμῖν διήγγελλον οἷα ἔλεγεν εἰς τὰ πλήθη καθʼ ἡμῶν.

[¶37] 15. PHILOSOPHY: Then you intend to put him to death before trial, without even a chance to defend himself? It is certainly clear that he wants to make.a statement.

> Greek: 15. Φιλοσοφία: εἶτα πρὸ δίκης οὐδὲ ἀπολογησάμενον ἀποκτενεῖτε; δῆλος γοῦν ἐστιν εἰπεῖν τι θέλων.

[¶38] PLATO: No: we have referred the whole matter to you, and you are to conclude the trial as you think best.

> Greek: Πλάτων: οὔκ, ἀλλʼ ἐπὶ σὲ τὸ πᾶν ἀνεβαλόμεθα, καὶ σοὶ ὅτι ἂν δοκῇ, τοῦτο ποιήσῃ τέλος τῆς δίκης.

[¶39] PHILOSOPHY: You, there, what do you say?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: τί φὴς σύ;

[¶40] FRANKNESS: Precisely what they do, my Lady Philosophy; for. you, even without aid, could discover the truth. In fact, it was only with difficulty, after a deal of entreaty, that I secured the reservation of the case for you.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: τοῦτο αὐτό, ὦ δέσποινα Φιλοσοφία, ἥπερ καὶ μόνη τἀληθὲς ἂν ἐξευρεῖν δύναιο· μόλις γοῦν εὑρόμην πολλὰ ἱκετεύσας τὸ σοὶ φυλαχθῆναι τὴν δίκην.

[¶41] PLATO: Now, you scoundrel, you call her “My Lady,” do you? Just the other day you made her out to be. utterly contemptible by offering every form of her doctrines for sale at two obols apiece before so large an audience!

> Greek: Πλάτων: νῦν, ὦ κατάρατε, δέσποιναν αὐτὴν καλεῖς; πρῴην δὲ τὸ ἀτιμότατον Φιλοσοφίαν ἀπέφαινες ἐν τοσούτῳ θεάτρῳ ἀποκηρύττων κατὰ μέρη δύʼ ὀβολῶν ἕκαστον εἶδος αὐτῆς τῶν λόγων.

[¶42] PHILOSOPHY: Careful! Perhaps fis abuse was not directed against Philosophy, but against impostors who do much that is vile in oyr name.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ὁρᾶτε μὴ οὐ Φιλοσοφίαν οὗτός γε ἀλλὰ γόητας ἄνδρας ἐπὶ τῷ ἡμετέρῳ ὀνόματι πολλὰ καὶ μιαρὰ πράττοντας ἠγόρευεν κακῶς.

[¶43] FRANKNESS: You shall see at once, if you will only hear my defence.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: εἴσῃ αὐτίκα, ἢν ἐθέλῃς ἀπολογουμένου ἀκούειν μόνον.

[¶44] PHILOSOPHY: Let us go to the Areopagus, or-rather, to the Acropolis itself, so that at the same time we may get a bird’s eye view of everything in the city.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ἀπίωμεν εἰς Ἄρειον πάγον, μᾶλλον δὲ εἰς τὴν ἀκρόπολιν αὐτήν, ὡς ἂν ἐκ περιωπῆς ἅμα καταφανείη πάντα ἐν τῇ πόλει.

[¶45] 16. PHILOSOPHY: You, my dears, may walk about in the Painted Porch meanwhile: I shall join you after concluding the trial.

> Greek: 16. Φιλοσοφία: ὑμεῖς δέ, ὦ φίλαι, ἐν τῇ Ποικίλῃ τέως περιπατήσατε· ἥξω γὰρ ὑμῖν ἐκδικάσασα τὴν δίκην.

[¶46] FRANKNESS: Who are they, Philosophy? They too seem very mannerly.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: τίνες δέ εἰσιν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία; πάνυ γάρ μοι κόσμιαι καὶ αὗται δοκοῦσιν.

[¶47] PHILOSOPHY: This one with the masculine air is Virtue; yonder is Temperance, and there beside her Justice; the one in advance is Culture, and she that is faint and indistinct in colour is Truth.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ἀρετὴ μὲν ἡ ἀνδρώδης αὕτη, Σωφροσύνη δὲ ἐκείνη καὶ Δικαιοσύνη ἡ παρʼ αὐτήν. ἡ προηγουμένη δὲ Παιδεία, ἡ ἀμυδρὰ δὲ καὶ ἀσαφὴς τὸ χρῶμα ἡ Ἀλήθειά ἐστιν.

[¶48] FRANKNESS: I do not see which one you really mean.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οὐχ ὁρῶ ἥντινα καὶ λέγεις.

[¶49] PHILOSOPHY: Do you not see the unadorned one over there, naked, always shrinking into the background and slipping away?: FRANKNESS: I can just see her now. But why not bring them also, in order that the meeting may be full and perfect? As to Truth, indeed, I wish to introduce her into the trial as an advocate.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: τὴν ἀκαλλώπιστον ἐκείνην οὐχ ὁρᾷς, τὴν γυμνήν, τὴν ὑποφεύγουσαν ἀεὶ καὶ διολισθάνουσαν;
Παρρησιάδης: ὁρῶ νῦν μόλις. ἀλλὰ τί οὐχὶ καὶ ταύτας ἄγεις, ὡς πλῆρες γένοιτο καὶ ἐντελὲς τὸ συνέδριον; τὴν Ἀλήθειαν δέ γε καὶ συνήγορον ἀναβιβάσασθαι πρὸς τὴν δίκην βούλομαι.

[¶50] PHILOSOPHY: To be sure. (To the others) Come with us also. It is not a hard matter to try a single case, particularly one that will involve our own interests.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: νὴ Δία, ἀκολουθήσατε καὶ ὑμεῖς· οὐ βαρὺ γὰρ μίαν δικάσαι δίκην, καὶ ταῦτα περὶ τῶν ἡμετέρων ἐσομένην.

[¶51] 17. TRUTH: You others go: I do not-need to hear what I have long known all about.

> Greek: 17. Ἀλήθεια: ἄπιτε ὑμεῖς· ἐγὼ γὰρ οὐδὲν δέομαι ἀκούειν ἃ πάλαι οἶδα ὁποῖά ἐστιν.

[¶52] PHILOSOPHY: But it would help us, Truth, if you should join in the trial and give us information on each point.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ἀλλʼ ἡμῖν, ὦ Ἀλήθεια, ἐν δέοντι συνδικάζοις ἂν καὶ καταμηνύοις ἕκαστα.

[¶53] TRUTH: Then shall I bring along these two waitingwomen, who are in very close sympathy with me?

> Greek: Ἀλήθεια: οὐκοῦν ἐπάγωμαι καὶ τὼ θεραπαινιδίω τούτω εὐνοϊκοτάτω μοι ὄντε;

[¶54] PHILOSOPHY: Yes, indeed, as many as you wish.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: καὶ μάλα ὁπόσας ἂν ἐθέλῃς.

[¶55] TRUTH: Come with us, Liberty and Free-speech, so that we may be able to rescue this poor creature, our admirer, who is facing danger for no just reason. You, Investigation, may stay where you are.

> Greek: Ἀλήθεια: ἕπεσθον, ὦ Ἐλευθερία καὶ Παρρησία, μεθʼ ἡμῶν, ὡς τὸν δείλαιον τουτονὶ ἀνθρωπίσκον ἐραστὴν ἡμέτερον ὄντα καὶ κινδυνεύοντα ἐπὶ μηδεμιᾷ προφάσει δικαίᾳ σῶσαι δυνηθῶμεν. σὺ δέ, ὦ Ἔλεγχε, αὐτοῦ περίμεινον.

[¶56] FRANKNESS: Hold, my lady: let him come too, if anyone is to come. Those whom I shall have to fight to-day are none of your ordinary cattle, but pretentious fellows, hard to argue down, always finding some loophole or other, so that Investigation is necessary. INVESTIGATION: Yes, most necessary: and you had better take Proof along too.: TRUTH: Come, all of you, since you appear to be necessary to the case.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: μηδαμῶς, ὦ δέσποινα, ἡκέτω δὲ καὶ οὗτος, εἰ καί τις ἄλλος· οὐ γὰρ τοῖς τυχοῦσι θηρίοις προσπολεμῆσαι δεήσει με, ἀλλʼ ἀλαζόσιν ἀνθρώποις καὶ δυσελέγκτοις, ἀεί τινας ἀποφυγὰς εὑρισκομένοις, ὥστε ἀναγκαῖος ὁ Ἔλεγχος. Ἔλεγχος Gesner: ΦΙΛΟΣ. vulg.: ἀναγκαιότατος μὲν οὖν· ἄμεινον δέ, εἰ καὶ τὴν Ἀπόδειξιν παραλάβοις.
Ἀλήθεια: ἕπεσθε πάντες, ἐπείπερ ἀναγκαῖοι δοκεῖτε πρὸς τὴν δίκην.

[¶57] 18. PLATO: Do you see that? He is suborning Truth against us, Philosophy.

> Greek: 18. Πλάτων: ὁρᾷς; προσεταιρίζεται καθʼ ἡμῶν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, τὴν Ἀλήθειαν.

[¶58] PHILOSOPHY: Then you, Plato and Chrysippus and Aristotle, are afraid that she, Truth, may tell some lie ‘in his behalf?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: εἶτα δέδιτε, ὦ Πλάτων καὶ Χρύσιππε καὶ Ἀριστότελες, μή τι ψεύσηται ὑπὲρ αὐτοῦ Ἀλήθεια οὖσα;

[¶59] PLATO: It isn’t that, but he is terribly unprincipled and smooth-tongued, so that he will seduce her.

> Greek: Πλάτων: οὐ τοῦτο, ἀλλὰ δεινῶς πανοῦργός ἐστιν καὶ κολακικός· ὥστε παραπείσει αὐτήν.

[¶60] PHILOSOPHY: Have no fear. No injustice will be done while we have Justice here with us.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: θαρρεῖτε· οὐδὲν μὴ γένηται ἄδικον, Δικαιοσύνης ταύτης συμπαρούσης.

[¶61] 19. PHILOSOPHY: Let us go up, then. But tell me, what is your name?

> Greek: 19. Φιλοσοφία: ἀνίωμεν οὖν. ἀλλὰ εἰπέ μοι σύ, τί σοι τοὔνομα;

[¶62] FRANKNESS: Mine? Frankness, son of Truthful, son of Renowned Investigator.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: ἐμοί; Παρρησιάδης Ἀληθίωνος τοῦ Ἐλεγξικλέους.

[¶63] PHILOSOPHY: And your country?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: πατρὶς δέ;

[¶64] FRANKNESS: I am a Syrian, Philosophy, from the banks of the Euphrates. But what of that? I know that some of my opponents here are just as foreign-born as I: but in their manners and culture they are not like men of Soli or Cyprus or Babylon or Stageira. Yet as far as you are concerned it would make no difference even if a man’s speech were foreign, if only his way of thinking were manifestly right and just.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: Σύρος, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, τῶν Ἐπευφρατιδίων. ἀλλὰ τί τοῦτο; καὶ γὰρ τούτων τινὰς οἶδα τῶν ἀντιδίκων μου οὐχ ἧττον ἐμοῦ βαρβάρους τὸ γένος· ὁ τρόπος δὲ καὶ ἡ παιδεία οὐ κατὰ Σολέας ἢ Κυπρίους ἢ Βαβυλωνίους ἢ Σταγειρίτας. καίτοι πρός γε σὲ οὐδὲν ἂν ἔλαττον γένοιτο οὐδʼ εἰ τὴν φωνὴν βάρβαρος εἴη τις, εἴπερ ἡ γνώμη ὀρθὴ καὶ δικαία φαίνοιτο οὖσα.

[¶65] 20. PHILOSOPHY: True: it was a needless question, to be sure. But what is your calling? That at least is worth knowing.

> Greek: 20. Φιλοσοφία: εὖ λέγεις· ἄλλως γοῦν ἠρόμην. ἡ τέχνη δέ σοι τίς; ἄξιον γὰρ ἐπίστασθαι τοῦτό γε.

[¶66] FRANKNESS: Iam a bluff-hater, cheat-hater, liar-hater, vanityhater, and hate all that sort of scoundrels, who are very numerous, as you know.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: μισαλαζών εἰμι καὶ μισογόης καὶ μισοψευδὴς καὶ μισότυφος καὶ μισῶ πᾶν τὸ τοιουτῶδες εἶδος τῶν μιαρῶν ἀνθρώπων· πάνυ δὲ πολλοί εἰσιν, ὡς οἶσθα.

[¶67] PHILOSOPHY: Heracles! You follow a hateful calling!

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: Ἡράκλεις, πολυμισῆ τινα μέτει τὴν τέχνην.

[¶68] FRANKNESS: You are right. You see, in fact, how many have come to dislike me and how I am imperilled because I follow it. However, I am very well up in the opposite calling, too: I mean the one with love for a base; for I am a truth-lover, a beauty-lover, a simplicitylover, and a lover of all else that is kindred to love. But there are very few who deserve to have this calling practised upon them, while those who come under the other and are closer akin to hatefulness number untold thousands. So the chances are that by this time I have lost my skill in the pne calling for lack of practice, but have become very expert in the other.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: εὖ λέγεις· ὁρᾷς γοῦν ὁπόσοις ἀπεχθάνομαι καὶ ὡς κινδυνεύω διʼ αὐτήν. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ τὴν ἐναντίαν αὐτῇ πάνυ ἀκριβῶς οἶδα, λέγω δὲ τὴν ἀπὸ τοῦ φιλο τὴν ἀρχὴν ἔχουσαν· φιλαλήθης τε γὰρ καὶ φιλόκαλος καὶ φιλαπλοϊκὸς καὶ ὅσα τῷ φιλεῖσθαι συγγενῆ. πλὴν ἀλλʼ ὀλίγοι πάνυ ταύτης ἄξιοι τῆς τέχνης, οἱ δὲ ὑπὸ τῇ ἐναντίᾳ ταττόμενοι καὶ τῷ μίσει οἰκειότεροι πεντακισμύριοι. κινδυνεύω τοιγαροῦν τὴν μὲν ὑπʼ ἀργίας ἀπομαθεῖν ἤδη, τὴν δὲ πάνυ ἠκριβωκέναι.

[¶69] PHILOSOPHY: But that ought not to be so, for if a man can do the one, they say, he can do the other. So do not distinguish the two callings; they are but one, though they seem two.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: καὶ μὴν οὐκ ἐχρῆν· τοῦ γὰρ αὐτοῦ καὶ τάδε, φασί, καὶ τάδε· ὥστε μὴ διαίρει τὼ τέχνα· μία γὰρ ἐστὸν δύʼ εἶναι δοκούσα.

[¶70] FRANKNESS: You know best as to that, Philosophy. For my part, however, I am so-constituted as to hate rascals and to commend and love honest men.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: ἄμεινον σὺ ταῦτα οἶσθα, ὦ Φιλοσοφία. τὸ μέντοι ἐμὸν τοιοῦτόν ἐστιν, οἷον τοὺς μὲν πονηροὺς μισεῖν, ἐπαινεῖν δὲ τοὺς χρηστοὺς καὶ φιλεῖν.

[¶71] 21. PHILOSOPHY: Come, now, since we are where we planned to be, let us hold our court somewhere hereabouts in the portico of Our Lady of the Citadel. Priestess, arrange the benches for us. Let us in the meantime pay our homage to the goddess.

> Greek: 21. Φιλοσοφία: ἄγε δή, πάρεσμεν γὰρ ἔνθα ἐχρῆν, ἐνταῦθά που ἐν τῷ προνάῳ τῆς Πολιάδος δικάσωμεν. ἡ Ἱέρεια διάθες ἡμῖν τὰ βάθρα, ἡμεῖς δὲ ἐν τοσούτῳ προσκυνήσωμεν τὴν θεόν.

[¶72] FRANKNESS: Lady of the Citadel, come to my aid against the pretenders, remembering how many oaths thou dost hear them make and break each day, and what they do thou alone seest, dwelling as thou dost upon a lookout. Now is thine hour to requite them. If thou seest that I am being overborne, and that the black ballots are more than the half, add thou thine own and set me free.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: ὦ Πολιάς, ἐλθέ μοι κατὰ τῶν ἀλαζόνων σύμμαχος ἀναμνησθεῖσα ὁπόσα ἐπιορκούντων ὁσημέραι ἀκούεις αὐτῶν· καὶ ἃ πράττουσι δὲ μόνη ὁρᾷς ἅτε δὴ ἐπὶ σκοπῆς οἰκοῦσα. νῦν καιρὸς ἀμύνασθαι αὐτούς. ἐμὲ δὲ ἤν που κρατούμενον ἴδῃς καὶ πλείους ὦσιν αἱ μέλαιναι, σὺ προσθεῖσα τὴν σεαυτῆς σῶζέ με.

[¶73] 22. PHILOSOPHY: Well and good. Here we are for you, gentlemen, all seated in readiness to hear the speeches. Choose one of your number who in your opinion can best conduct the prosecution, and when you have done so, build up your complaint and establish your charge; it is not feasible for all to speak at once. You, Frankness, shall make your defence thereafter. PLATO Which. of us, I wonder, would be the best fitted to handle the case? CHRYSIPPUS: You, Plato. Marvellous sublimity, superlatively Attic elegance, charm and _ persuasiveness, insight, subtlety, opportune seductiveness in demonstration— all this is yours to the full. Accept the spokesmanship, therefore, and say whatever is appropriate in behalf of us all. Remember now all your former successes and put together any points you have urged against Gorgias or Polos or Hippias or Prodicus: this man is more able than they. So apply a light sprinkling of irony, too, put those clever, incessant questions of yours, and if you think best, also slip it in somewhere that “great Zeus in heaven driving his winged car” would be angry if this man should not be punished.

> Greek: 22. Φιλοσοφία: Εἶεν· ἡμεῖς μὲν ὑμῖν καὶ δὴ καθήμεθα ἕτοιμοι ἀκούειν τῶν λόγων, ὑμεῖς δὲ προελόμενοί τινα ἐξ ἁπάντων, ὅστις ἄριστα κατηγορῆσαι ἂν δοκεῖ, συνείρετε τὴν κατηγορίαν καὶ διελέγχετε· πάντας γὰρ ἅμα λέγειν ἀμήχανον. σὺ δέ, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, ἀπολογήσῃ τὸ μετὰ τοῦτο. Πλάτων: τίς οὖν ὁ ἐπιτηδειότατος ἐξ ἡμῶν ἂν γένοιτο πρὸς τὴν δίκην; Χρύσιππος: σύ, ὦ Πλάτων. ἥ τε γὰρ μεγαλόνοια θαυμαστὴ καὶ ἡ καλλιφωνία δεινῶς Ἀττικὴ καὶ τὸ κεχαρισμένον καὶ πειθοῦς μεστὸν ἥ τε σύνεσις καὶ τὸ ἀκριβὲς καὶ τὸ ἐπαγωγὸν ἐν καιρῷ τῶν ἀποδείξεων, πάντα ταῦτά σοι ἀθρόα πρόσεστιν· ὥστε τὴν προηγορίαν δέχου καὶ ὑπὲρ ἁπάντων εἰπὲ τὰ εἰκότα. νῦν ἀναμνήσθητι πάντων ἐκείνων καὶ συμφόρει εἰς τὸ αὐτό, εἴ τί σοι πρὸς Γοργίαν ἢ Πῶλον ἢ Πρόδικον ἢ Ἱππίαν εἴρηται· δεινότερος οὗτός ἐστιν. ἐπίπαττε οὖν καὶ τῆς εἰρωνείας καὶ τὰ κομψὰ ἐκεῖνα καὶ συνεχῆ ἐρώτα, κἄν σοι δοκῇ, κἀκεῖνό που παράβυσον, ὡς ὁ μέγας ἐν οὐρανῷ Ζεὺς πτηνὸν ἅρμα ἐλαύνων ἀγανακτήσειεν ἄν, εἰ μὴ οὗτος ὑπόσχοι τὴν δίκην.

[¶74] 23. PLATO: No, let us make use of someone more strenuous— Diogenes here, or Antisthenes, or Crates, or you yourself, Chrysippus. For surely what the occasion demands now is not elegance and literary distinction, but some degree of argumentative and forensic equipment: Frankness is a professional speaker.

> Greek: 23. Πλάτων: μηδαμῶς, ἀλλά τινα τῶν σφοδροτέρων προχειρισώμεθα, Διογένη τοῦτον ἢ Ἀντισθένη ἢ Κράτητα ἢ καὶ σέ, ὦ Χρύσιππε· οὐ γὰρ δὴ κάλλους ἐν τῷ παρόντι καὶ δεινότητος συγγραφικῆς ὁ καιρός, ἀλλά τινος ἐλεγκτικῆς καὶ δικανικῆς παρασκευῆς· ῥήτωρ δὲ ὁ Παρρησιάδης ἐστίν.

[¶75] DIOGENES: Well, then, I will be prosecutor, for we shall not require speeches of any great length, I suppose: and besides, I have been insulted beyond all of you, since I was auctioned off the other day for two obols.

> Greek: Διογένης: ἀλλʼ ἐγὼ αὐτοῦ κατηγορήσω· οὐδὲ γὰρ πάνυ μακρῶν οἶμαι τῶν λόγων δεήσεσθαι. καὶ ἄλλως ὑπὲρ ἅπαντας ὕβρισμαι δύʼ ὀβολῶν πρῴην ἀποκεκηρυγμένος.

[¶76] PLATO: Diogenes will make the speech, Philosophy, for all of us. Remember, friend, not just to speak for yourself in the complaint, but to keep our common interests in view. If we do disagree with one another a little in our doctrines, you must not examine into that, or attempt to say who is the nearer right, but, in general, make an impassioned plea for Philosophy herself, because she has been heaped with insult and shamefully abused in the dialogues of Freespeaker; ignore the personal views wherein we differ, and fight for what we all have in common. Take note, you are our sole representative and it rests with you whether all our teachings are to seem worthy of high reverence or to be thought no better than this man made them out to be.

> Greek: Πλάτων: ὁ Διογένης, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, ἐρεῖ τὸν λόγον ὑπὲρ ἁπάντων. μέμνησο δέ, ὦ γενναῖε, μὴ τὰ σεαυτοῦ μόνον πρεσβεύειν ἐν τῇ κατηγορίᾳ, τὰ κοινὰ δὲ ὁρᾶν· εἰ γάρ τι καὶ πρὸς ἀλλήλους διαφερόμεθα ἐν τοῖς δόγμασι, σὺ δὲ τοῦτο μὲν μὴ ἐξέταζε, μηδὲ ὅστις ἐστὶν ὁ ἀληθέστερος νῦν λέγε, ὅλως δὲ ὑπὲρ Φιλοσοφίας αὐτῆς ἀγανάκτει περιυβρισμένης καὶ κακῶς ἀκουούσης ἐν τοῖς Παρρησιάδου λόγοις, καὶ τὰς προαιρέσεις ἀφείς, ἐν αἷς διαλλάττομεν, ὃ κοινὸν ἅπαντες ἔχομεν, τοῦτο ὑπερμάχει. ὅρα· σὲ μόνον προεστησάμεθα καὶ ἐν σοὶ τὰ πάντα ἡμῶν νῦν κινδυνεύεται, ἢ σεμνότατα δόξαι ἢ τοιαῦτα πιστευθῆναι οἷα οὗτος ἀπέφηνε.

[¶77] 24. DIOGENES: Do not be alarmed; we shall not come short: I will speak in behalf of all. Even if Philosophy, swayed by his eloquence—for she is naturally kindly and gentle—determines to acquit him, I for my part shall not be found wanting, for I will show him that we do not carry sticks for nothing!

> Greek: 24. Διογένης: θαρρεῖτε, οὐδὲν ἐλλείψομεν· ὑπὲρ ἁπάντων ἐρῶ. κἂν ἡ Φιλοσοφία δὲ πρὸς τοὺς λόγους ἐπικλασθεῖσα — φύσει γὰρ ἥμερος καὶ πρᾶός ἐστιν — ἀφεῖναι διαβουλεύηται αὐτόν, ἀλλʼ οὐ τὰ ἐμὰ ἐνδεήσει· δείξω γὰρ αὐτῷ ὅτι μὴ μάτην ξυλοφοροῦμεν.

[¶78] PHILOSOPHY: Not by.any means! Use arguments, rather, for that is better. Butdo notdelay. The water already has been poured in, and the jury has its eyes upon you.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: τοῦτο μὲν μηδαμῶς, ἀλλὰ τῷ λόγῳ μᾶλλον· ἄμεινον γὰρ ἤπερ τῷ ξύλῳ. μὴ μέλλε δʼ οὖν. ἤδη γὰρ ἐγκέχυται τὸ ὕδωρ καὶ πρὸς σὲ τὸ δικαστήριον ἀποβλέπει.

[¶79] FRANKNESS: Let the others take seats, Philosophy, and cast their votes with your company, and let Diogenes be the only prosecutor.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οἱ λοιποὶ καθιζέτωσαν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, καὶ ψηφοφορείτωσαν μεθʼ ὑμῶν, Διογένης δὲ κατηγορείτω μόνος.

[¶80] PHILOSOPHY: Then are you not afraid they may find you guilty?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: οὐ δέδιας οὖν μή σου καταψηφίσωνται;

[¶81] FRANKNESS: Not at all. In fact, I wish to win by a larger majority.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οὐδαμῶς· πλείοσι γοῦν κρατῆσαι βούλομαι.

[¶82] PHILOSOPHY: That is handsome of you. Well, then, take your seats, and you, Diogenes, begin your speech.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: γενναῖά σου ταῦτα· καθίσατε δʼ οὖν. σὺ δέ, ὦ Διόγενες, λέγε.

[¶83] 25. DIOGENES: What sort of men we were in life, Philosophy, you know right well, and I need not discuss that point at all; for who is not aware how much beauty was brought into life by Pythagoras here, Plato, Aristotle, Chrysippus and the others, to say nothing of myself? I shall proceed to speak of the insults which, in spite of our merit, this double-dyed scoundrel Frankness has dealt us. He is a public speaker, they say: but abandoning the courts and the successes to be gained therein, he concentrated upon us all thé eloquence and power that he had acquired.in rhetoric, and not only unceasingly abuses us himself by calling us cheats and liars, but induces the public to laugh and sneer at us as if we amounted to nothing at all. More than that, he has at last made people actually hate you, Philosophy, as well as us by dubbing your doctrines stuff and nonsense and rehearsing in mockery all that is most serious in what you taught us, so as to get applause and praise from his audience for himself and contumely for us. The common sort are that way by nature; they delight in jesters and buffoons, and most of all when they criticise what is held in high reverence. Just so in days gone by they took delight in Aristophanes and Eupolis, who brought Socrates on the stage to make fun of him and got up monstrous farces about him. The playwrights, however, showed their boldness against only one man, and at the Dionysia, when it was’ permissible to do so, and the joking was considered part of the holiday, and
The god, who loves his joke, no doubt was pleased.

> Greek: 25. Διογένης: οἷοι μὲν ἡμεῖς ἄνδρες ἐγενόμεθα παρὰ τὸν βίον, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, πάνυ ἀκριβῶς οἶσθα καὶ οὐδὲν δεῖ λόγων· ἵνα γὰρ τὸ κατʼ ἐμὲ σιωπήσω, ἀλλὰ Πυθαγόραν τοῦτον καὶ Πλάτωνα καὶ Ἀριστοτέλη καὶ Χρύσιππον καὶ τοὺς ἄλλους τίς οὐκ οἶδεν ὅσα εἰς τὸν βίον καλὰ εἰσεκομίσαντο; ἃ δὲ τοιούτους ὄντας ἡμᾶς ὁ τρισκατάρατος οὑτοσὶ Παρρησιάδης ὕβρικεν ἤδη ἐρῶ. ῥήτωρ γάρ τις, ὥς φασιν, ὤν, ἀπολιπὼν τὰ δικαστήρια καὶ τὰς ἐν ἐκείνοις εὐδοκιμήσεις, ὁπόσον ἢ δεινότητος ἢ ἀκμῆς ἐπεπόριστο ἐν τοῖς λόγοις, τοῦτο πᾶν ἐφʼ ἡμᾶς συσκευασάμενος οὐ παύεται αὐτὸς μὲν ἀγορεύων κακῶς γόητας καὶ ἀπατεῶνας ἀποκαλῶν, τὰ πλήθη δὲ ἀναπείθων καταγελᾶν ἡμῶν καὶ καταφρονεῖν ὡς τὸ μηδὲν ὄντων· μᾶλλον δὲ καὶ μισεῖσθαι πρὸς τῶν πολλῶν ἤδη πεποίηκεν αὐτούς τε ἡμᾶς καὶ σὲ τὴν Φιλοσοφίαν, φληνάφους καὶ λήρους ἀποκαλῶν τὰ σὰ καὶ τὰ σπουδαιότατα ὧν ἡμᾶς ἐπαίδευσας ἐπὶ χλευασμῷ διεξιών, ὥστε αὐτὸν μὲν κροτεῖσθαι καὶ ἐπαινεῖσθαι πρὸς τῶν θεατῶν, ἡμᾶς δὲ ὑβρίζεσθαι. φύσει γὰρ τοιοῦτόν ἐστιν ὁ πολὺς λεώς, χαίρουσι τοῖς ἀποσκώπτουσιν καὶ λοιδορουμένοις, καὶ μάλισθʼ ὅταν τὰ σεμνότατα εἶναι δοκοῦντα διασύρηται, ὥσπερ ἀμέλει καὶ πάλαι ἔχαιρον Ἀριστοφάνει καὶ Εὐπόλιδι Σωκράτη τουτονὶ ἐπὶ χλευασίᾳ παράγουσιν ἐπὶ τὴν σκηνὴν καὶ κωμῳδοῦσιν ἀλλοκότους τινὰς περὶ αὐτοῦ κωμῳδίας. καίτοι ἐκεῖνοι μὲν καθʼ ἑνὸς ἀνδρὸς ἐτόλμων τοιαῦτα, καὶ ἐν Διονυσίοις ἐφειμένον αὐτὸ ἔδρων, καὶ τὸ σκῶμμα ἐδόκει μέρος τι τῆς ἑορτῆς, καὶ ὁ θεὸς ἴσως ἔχαιρε φιλόγελώς τις ὤν.

[¶84] 26. DIOGENES: But this man brings the best people together, after a long period of thinking and preparing and writing down slanders in a thick roll, and then loudly abuses Plato, Pythagoras, Aristotle here, Chrysippus there, myself, and in a word, one and all, without the sanction of a holiday and without having. had anything done to him personally by us. He would have some excuse for the thing, of course, if he had acted in self-defence instead of starting the quarrel. What is worst of all, in doing this sort of thing, Philosophy, he shelters himself under your name, and he has suborned Dialogue, our serving-man, employing him against us as a helper and a spokesman. Moreover, he has actually bribed Menippus, a comrade of ours, to take part in his farces frequently; he is the only one who is not here and does not join us in the prosecution, thereby playing traitor to our common cause.

> Greek: 26. Διογένης: ὁ δὲ τοὺς ἀρίστους συγκαλῶν, ἐκ πολλοῦ φροντίσας καὶ παρασκευασάμενος καὶ βλασφημίας τινὰς εἰς παχὺ βιβλίον ἐγγράψας, μεγάλῃ τῇ φωνῇ ἀγορεύει κακῶς Πλάτωνα, Πυθαγόραν, Ἀριστοτέλη τοῦτον, Χρύσιππον ἐκεῖνον, ἐμὲ καὶ ὅλως ἅπαντας οὔτε ἑορτῆς ἐφιείσης οὔτε ἰδίᾳ τι πρὸς ἡμῶν παθών· εἶχε γὰρ ἄν τινα συγγνώμην αὐτῷ τὸ πρᾶγμα, εἰ ἀμυνόμενος, ἀλλὰ μὴ ἄρχων αὐτὸς ἔδρα. ὃ δὲ πάντων δεινότατον, ὅτι τοιαῦτα ποιῶν καὶ τὸ σὸν ὄνομα, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, ὑποδύεται καὶ ὑπελθὼν τὸν Διάλογον ἡμέτερον οἰκέτην ὄντα, τούτῳ συναγωνιστῇ καὶ ὑποκριτῇ χρῆται καθʼ ἡμῶν, ἔτι καὶ Μένιππον ἀναπείσας ἑταῖρον ἡμῶν ἄνδρα συγκωμῳδεῖν αὐτῷ τὰ πολλά, ὃς μόνος οὐ πάρεστιν οὐδὲ κατηγορεῖ μεθʼ ἡμῶν, προδοὺς τὸ κοινόν.

## 2. Sections 27–52

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/lucian-the-fisherman/2/#p-N

[¶0] 27. DIOGENES: For all this he ought to be punished. What, pray, can he have to say for himself after ridiculing all that is most holy before so many witnesses? In fact, it would be a good thing for them, too, if they were to see him punished, so that no other man might ever again sneer at Philosophy; for to keep quiet and pocket insults might well be thought to betoken weakness and simplicity rather than self-control. And who could put up with his last performances? Bringing us like slaves to the auction-room and appointing a crier, he sold us off, they say, some for a high price, some for an Attic mina, and me, arrant scoundrel that he is, for two obols! And those present laughed! On account of this, we ourselves have come up here in a rage, and we think it right that you for your part should avenge us because we have been insulted to the limit.

> Greek: 27. Διογένης: ἀνθʼ ὧν ἁπάντων ἄξιόν ἐστιν ὑποσχεῖν αὐτὸν τὴν δίκην. ἢ τί γὰρ ἂν εἰπεῖν ἔχοι τὰ σεμνότατα διασύρας ἐπὶ τοσούτων μαρτύρων; χρήσιμον γοῦν καὶ πρὸς ἐκείνους τὸ τοιοῦτον, εἰ θεάσαιντο αὐτὸν κολασθέντα, ὡς μηδὲ ἄλλος τις ἔτι καταφρονοίη Φιλοσοφίας· ἐπεὶ τό γε τὴν ἡσυχίαν ἄγειν καὶ ὑβριζόμενον ἀνέχεσθαι οὐ μετριότητος, ἀλλὰ ἀνανδρίας καὶ εὐηθείας εἰκότως ἂν νομίζοιτο. τὰ μὲν γὰρ τελευταῖα τίνι φορητά; ὃς καθάπερ τὰ ἀνδράποδα παραγαγὼν ἡμᾶς ἐπὶ τὸ πωλητήριον καὶ κήρυκα ἐπιστήσας ἀπημπόλησεν, ὥς φασιν, τοὺς μὲν ἐπὶ πολλῷ, ἐνίους δὲ μνᾶς Ἀττικῆς, ἐμὲ δὲ ὁ παμπονηρότατος οὗτος δύʼ ὀβολῶν· οἱ παρόντες δὲ ἐγέλων. ἀνθʼ ὧν αὐτοί τε ἀνεληλύθαμεν ἀγανακτήσαντες καὶ σὲ ἀξιοῦμεν τιμωρήσειν ἡμῖν τὰ ἔσχατα ὑβρισμένοις.

[¶1] 28. PLATO: Good, Diogenes! You have splendidly said all that you ought on behalf of us all.

> Greek: 28. Πλάτων: εὖ γε, ὦ Διόγενες, ὑπὲρ ἁπάντων καλῶς ὁπόσα ἐχρῆν ἅπαντα εἴρηκας.

[¶2] PHILOSOPHY: Stop applauding! Pour in the water for the defendant. Now, Frankness, make your speech in turn, for the water now is running for you. Don’t delay, then.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: παύσασθε ἐπαινοῦντες· ἔγχει τῷ ἀπολογουμένῳ. σὺ δὲ ὁ Παρρησιάδης λέγε ἤδη ἐν τῷ μέρει· σοὶ γὰρ τὸ νῦν ῥεῖ. μὴ μέλλε οὖν.

[¶3] 29. FRANKNESS: Diogenes did not complete the complaint against me, Philosophy. He left out, for some reason or other, the greater part of what I said, and everything that was very severe. But I am so far from denying. that I said it all and from appearing with a studied defence that whatever he passed over in silence or I neglected previously to say, I purpose to include now. In that way you can find out whom I put up for sale and abused, calling them pretenders and cheats. And I beg you merely to note throughout whether what I say about them is true. If my speech should prove to contain anything shocking or offensive, it is not I, their critic, but they, I think, whom you would justly blame for it, acting as they do. As soon as I perceived how many disagreeable attributes a public speaker must needs acquire, such as chicanery, lying, impudence, loudness of mouth, sharpness of elbow, and what all besides, I fled from all that, as was natural, and set out to attain your high ideals, Philosophy, expecting to sail, as it were, out of stormy waters into a peaceful haven and to live out the rest of my life under your protection.

> Greek: 29. Παρρησιάδης: οὐ πάντα μου, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, κατηγόρησε Διογένης, ἀλλὰ τὰ πλείω καὶ ὅσα ἦν χαλεπώτερα οὐκ οἶδα ὅ τι παθὼν παρέλιπεν. ἐγὼ δὲ τοσούτου δέω ἔξαρνος γενέσθαι ὡς οὐκ εἶπον αὐτά, ἢ ἀπολογίαν τινὰ μεμελετηκὼς ἀφῖχθαι, ὥστε καὶ εἴ τινα ἢ αὐτὸς ἀπεσιώπησεν ἢ ἐγὼ μὴ πρότερον ἔφθην εἰρηκώς, νῦν προσθήσειν μοι δοκῶ. οὕτως γὰρ ἂν μάθοις οὕστινας ἀπεκήρυττον καὶ κακῶς ἠγόρευον ἀλαζόνας καὶ γόητας ἀποκαλῶν. καί μοι μόνον τοῦτο παραφυλάττετε, εἰ ἀληθῆ περὶ αὐτῶν ἐρῶ. εἰ δέ τι βλάσφημον ἢ τραχὺ φαίνοιτο ἔχων ὁ λόγος, οὐ τὸν διελέγχοντα ἐμέ, ἀλλʼ ἐκείνους ἂν οἶμαι δικαιότερον αἰτιάσαισθε, τοιαῦτα ποιοῦντας. ἐγὼ γὰρ ἐπειδὴ τάχιστα συνεῖδον ὁπόσα τοῖς ῥητορεύουσιν ἀναγκαῖον τὰ δυσχερῆ προσεῖναι, ἀπάτην καὶ ψεῦδος καὶ θρασύτητα καὶ βοὴν καὶ ὠθισμοὺς καὶ μυρία ἄλλα, ταῦτα μέν, ὥσπερ εἰκὸς ἦν, ἀπέφυγον, ἐπὶ δὲ τὰ σά, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, καλὰ ὁρμήσας ἠξίουν ὁπόσον ἔτι μοι λοιπὸν τοῦ βίου καθάπερ ἐκ ζάλης καὶ κλύδωνος εἰς εὔδιόν τινα λιμένα ἐσπλεύσας ὑπὸ σοὶ σκεπόμενος καταβιῶναι.

[¶4] 30. FRANKNESS: Hardly had I caught a glimpse of “your doctrines when I conceived admiration for you, as was inevitable, and for all these men, who are the lawgivers of the higher life and lend a helping hand to those who aspire to it by giving advice which is extremely good and extremely helpful if one does not act contrary to it or falter, but fixedly regards the principles which you have established and tries to bring his life into harmony and agreement with them—a thing, to be sure, which very few, even of your own disciples, do!

> Greek: 30. Παρρησιάδης: κἀπειδὴ μόνον παρέκυψα εἰς τὰ ὑμέτερα, σὲ μέν, ὥσπερ ἀναγκαῖον ἦν, καὶ τούσδε ἅπαντας ἐθαύμαζον ἀρίστου βίου νομοθέτας ὄντας καὶ τοῖς ἐπʼ αὐτὸν ἐπειγομένοις χεῖρα ὀρέγοντας, τὰ κάλλιστα καὶ συμφορώτατα παραινοῦντας, εἴ τις μὴ παραβαίνοι αὐτὰ μηδὲ διολισθάνοι, ἀλλʼ ἀτενὲς ἀποβλέπων εἰς τοὺς κανόνας οὓς προτεθείκατε, πρὸς τούτους ῥυθμίζοι καὶ ἀπευθύνοι τὸν ἑαυτοῦ βίον, ὅπερ νὴ Δία καὶ τῶν καθʼ ὑμᾶς αὐτοὺς ὀλίγοι ποιοῦσιν.

[¶5] 31. FRANKNESS: When I saw, however, that many were not in love with Philosophy, but simply coveted the reputation of the thing, and that although in all the obvious, commonplace matters which anyone can easily copy they were very like worthy men (in beard, I mean, and walk and garb), in their life and actions, however, they contradicted their outward appearance and reversed your practice and sullied the dignity of the profession, I became angry. The case seemed to me to be as if some actor in tragedy who was soft and womanish should act the part of Achilles or Theseus, or even Heracles himself, without either walking or speaking as a hero should, but showing off airs and graces in a mask of such dignity. Even Helen or Polyxena would never suffer such a man to resemble them too closely, let alone Heracles, the conquering hero, who, in my opinion, would very soon smash both man and mask with a few strokes of his club for making him out so disgracefully effeminate.

> Greek: 31. Παρρησιάδης: ὁρῶν δὲ πολλοὺς οὐκ ἔρωτι φιλοσοφίας ἐχομένους ἀλλὰ δόξης μόνον τῆς ἀπὸ τοῦ πράγματος ἐφιεμένους, καὶ τὰ μὲν πρόχειρα ταῦτα καὶ δημόσια καὶ ὁπόσα παντὶ μιμεῖσθαι ῥᾴδιον εὖ μάλα ἐοικότας ἀγαθοῖς ἀνδράσι, τὸ γένειον λέγω καὶ τὸ βάδισμα καὶ τὴν ἀναβολήν, ἐπὶ δὲ τοῦ βίου καὶ τῶν πραγμάτων ἀντιφθεγγομένους τῷ σχήματι καὶ τἀναντία ὑμῖν ἐπιτηδεύοντας καὶ διαφθείροντας τὸ ἀξίωμα τῆς ὑποσχέσεως, ἠγανάκτουν, καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα ὅμοιον ἐδόκει μοι καθάπερ ἂν εἴ τις ὑποκριτὴς τραγῳδίας μαλθακὸς αὐτὸς ὢν καὶ γυναικεῖος Ἀχιλλέα ἢ Θησέα ἢ καὶ τὸν Ἡρακλέα ὑποκρίνοιτο αὐτὸν μήτε βαδίζων μήτε βοῶν ἡρωϊκόν, ἀλλὰ θρυπτόμενος ὑπὸ τηλικούτῳ προσωπείῳ, ὃν οὐδʼ ἂν ἡ Ἑλένη ποτὲ ἢ Πολυξένη ἀνάσχοιντο πέρα τοῦ μετρίου αὐταῖς προσεοικότα, οὐχ ὅπως ὁ Ἡρακλῆς ὁ Καλλίνικος, ἀλλά μοι δοκεῖ τάχιστʼ ἂν ἐπιτρῖψαι τῷ ῥοπάλῳ παίων τοῦτον αὐτόν τε καὶ τὸ προσωπεῖον, οὕτως ἀτίμως κατατεθηλυμμένος πρὸς αὐτοῦ.

[¶6] 32. FRANKNESS: Just so with me; when I saw you so treated by those others, I could not brook the shame, of their impersonation when they made bold, though but apes, to wear heroic masks, or to copy the ass of Cumae who put on a lion’s skin and claimed to be himself a lion, braying in a very harsh and fearsome way at the ignorant Cumaeans, until at length a foreigner, who had often seen lions and asses, exposed him and chased him away by beating him with sticks. But what seemed to me most shocking, Philosophy, was this, that if people saw any one of these fellows engaged in any wicked or unseemly or indecent practice, every man of them at once laid the blame upon Philosophy herself, and upon Chrysippus or Plato or Pythagoras or whichever one of you furnished that sinner with a name for himself and a model for his harangues; and from him, because he was leading an evil life, they drew sorry conclusions about you others, who died long ago. For as you were not alive, he could not be compared with you. You were not there, and they all clearly saw him following dreadful and discreditable practices, so that you suffered judgment by default along with him and became involved in the same scandal.

> Greek: 32. Παρρησιάδης: τοιαῦτα καὶ αὐτὸς ὑμᾶς πάσχοντας ὑπʼ ἐκείνων ὁρῶν οὐκ ἤνεγκα τὴν αἰσχύνην τῆς ὑποκρίσεως, εἰ πίθηκοι ὄντες ἐτόλμησαν ἡρώων προσωπεῖα περιθέσθαι ἢ τὸν ἐν Κύμῃ ὄνον μιμήσασθαι, ὃς λεοντῆν περιβαλόμενος ἠξίου λέων αὐτὸς εἶναι, πρὸς ἀγνοοῦντας τοὺς Κυμαίους ὀγκώμενος μάλα τραχὺ καὶ καταπληκτικόν, ἄχρι δή τις αὐτὸν ξένος καὶ λέοντα ἰδὼν καὶ ὄνον πολλάκις ἤλεγξε καὶ ἀπεδίωξε παίων τοῖς ξύλοις. Ὃ δὲ μάλιστά μοι δεινόν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, κατεφαίνετο, τοῦτο ἦν· οἱ γὰρ ἄνθρωποι εἴ τινα τούτων ἑώρων πονηρὸν ἢ ἄσχημον ἢ ἀσελγές τι ἐπιτηδεύοντα, οὐκ ἔστιν ὅστις οὐ Φιλοσοφίαν αὐτὴν ᾐτιᾶτο καὶ τὸν Χρύσιππον εὐθὺς ἢ Πλάτωνα ἢ Πυθαγόραν ἢ ὅτου ἐπώνυμον αὑτὸν ὁ διαμαρτάνων ἐκεῖνος ἐποιεῖτο καὶ οὗ τοὺς λόγους ἐμιμεῖτο· καὶ ἀπὸ τοῦ κακῶς βιοῦντος πονηρὰ περὶ ὑμῶν εἴκαζον τῶν πρὸ πολλοῦ τεθνηκότων· οὐ γὰρ παρὰ ζῶντας ὑμᾶς ἡ ἐξέτασις αὐτοῦ ἐγίγνετο, ἀλλʼ ὑμεῖς μὲν ἐκποδών, ἐκεῖνον δὲ ἑώρων σαφῶς ἅπαντες δεινὰ καὶ ἄσεμνα ἐπιτηδεύοντα, ὥστε ἐρήμην ἡλίσκεσθε μετʼ αὐτοῦ καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν ὁμοίαν διαβολὴν συγκατεσπᾶσθε.

[¶7] 33. FRANKNESS: I could not endure this spectacle, but set about exposing them and distinguishing them from you; and you, who ought to reward me for it, bring me into court! Then if I observed one of the initiates disclosing the mysteries of the Goddesses Twain and rehearsing them in public, and became indignant and showed him up, would you consider me the impious one: It would not be just. Certainly the officials of the games always flog an actor if he takes the part of Athena or Poseidon or Zeus and does not play it well and in accordance with the dignity of the gods; and the gods themselves are surely not angry at them for letting the scourgers whip a man. wearing their masks and dressed in their clothing. On the contrary, they would be gratified, I take it, if he were flogged more soundly. Not to act a servant’s or a messenger’s part cleverly is a trivial fault, but not to present Zeus or Heracles to the spectators worthily—Heaven forfend! how shameful!

> Greek: 33. Παρρησιάδης: ταῦτα οὐκ ἤνεγκα ὁρῶν ἔγωγε, ἀλλʼ ἤλεγχον αὐτοὺς καὶ διέκρινον ἀφʼ ὑμῶν· ὑμεῖς δέ, τιμᾶν ἐπὶ τούτοις δέον, εἰς δικαστήριόν με ἄγετε. οὐκοῦν ἤν τινα καὶ τῶν μεμυημένων ἰδὼν ἐξαγορεύοντα ταῖν θεαῖν τὰ ἀπόρρητα καὶ ἐξορχούμενον ἀγανακτήσω καὶ διελέγξω, ἐμὲ τὸν ἀσεβοῦντα ἡγήσεσθε εἶναι; ἀλλʼ οὐ δίκαιον. ἐπεὶ καὶ οἱ ἀθλοθέται μαστιγοῦν εἰώθασιν, ἤν τις ὑποκριτὴς Ἀθηνᾶν ἢ Ποσειδῶνα ἢ τὸν Δία ὑποδεδυκὼς μὴ καλῶς ὑποκρίνηται μηδὲ κατʼ ἀξίαν τῶν θεῶν, καὶ οὐ δή που ὀργίζονται αὐτοῖς ἐκεῖνοι, διότι τὸν περικείμενον αὐτῶν τὰ προσωπεῖα καὶ τὸ σχῆμα ἐνδεδυκότα ἐπέτρεψαν παίειν τοῖς μαστιγοφόροις, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἥδοιντʼ ἄν, οἶμαι, μᾶλλον μαστιγουμένῳ· οἰκέτην μὲν γάρ τινα ἢ ἄγγελον μὴ δεξιῶς ὑποκρίνασθαι μικρὸν τὸ πταῖσμα, τὸν Δία δὲ ἢ τὸν Ἡρακλέα μὴ κατʼ ἀξίαν ἐπιδείξασθαι τοῖς θεαταῖς, ἀποτρόπαιον ὡς αἰσχρόν.

[¶8] 34. FRANKNESS: It is most extraordinary, too, that most of them are thoroughly up in your writings, but live as if they read and studied them simply to practise the reverse. Their book tells them they must despise wealth and reputation, think that only what is beautiful is good, be free from anger, despise these people of eminence, and talk with them as man to man; and its advice is beautiful, as Heaven is my witness, and wise and wonderful, in all truth. But they teach these very doctrines for pay, and worship the rich, and are agog after money; they are more quick-tempered than curs, more cowardly than hares, more servile than apes, more lustful than jackasses, more thievish than cats, more quarrelsome than game-cocks. Consequently, they let themselves in for ridicule when they hustle after it all and elbow one another at the portals of the rich and take part in great banquets, where they pay vulgar compliments, stuff themselves beyond decency, grumble openly at their portions, vent their philosophy disagreeably and discordantly over their cups, and fail to carry their drink well. All those present who are not of the profession laugh at them, naturally, and spit philosophy to scorn for breeding up such beasts.

> Greek: 34. Παρρησιάδης: καὶ γὰρ αὖ καὶ τόδε πάντων ἀτοπώτατόν ἐστιν, ὅτι τοὺς μὲν λόγους ὑμῶν πάνυ ἀκριβοῦσιν οἱ πολλοὶ αὐτῶν, καθάπερ δὲ ἐπὶ τοῦτο μόνον ἀναγιγνώσκοντες αὐτοὺς καὶ μελετῶντες, ὡς τἀναντία ἐπιτηδεύοιεν, οὕτως βιοῦσιν. τὸ μὲν γὰρ βιβλίον χρημάτων φησὶ δεῖν καταφρονεῖν καὶ δόξης καὶ μόνον τὸ καλὸν ἀγαθὸν οἴεσθαι καὶ ἀόργητον εἶναι καὶ τῶν λαμπρῶν τούτων ὑπερορᾶν καὶ ἐξ ἰσοτιμίας αὐτοῖς διαλέγεσθαι, καλά, ὦ θεοί, καὶ σοφὰ καὶ θαυμάσια λέγον ὡς ἀληθῶς. οἱ δὲ καὶ αὐτὰ ταῦτα ἐπὶ μισθῷ διδάσκουσιν καὶ τοὺς πλουσίους τεθήπασιν καὶ πρὸς τὸ ἀργύριον κεχήνασιν, ὀργιλώτεροι μὲν τῶν κυνιδίων ὄντες, δειλότεροι δὲ τῶν λαγωῶν, κολακικώτεροι δὲ τῶν πιθήκων, ἀσελγέστεροι δὲ τῶν ὄνων, ἁρπακτικώτεροι δὲ τῶν γαλῶν, φιλονεικότεροι δὲ τῶν ἀλεκτρυόνων. τοιγαροῦν γέλωτα ὀφλισκάνουσιν ὠθιζόμενοι ἐπʼ αὐτὰ καὶ περὶ τὰς τῶν πλουσίων πυλῶνας ἀλλήλους παραγκωνιζόμενοι καὶ δεῖπνα πολυάνθρωπα δειπνοῦντες καὶ ἐν αὐτοῖς τούτοις ἐπαινοῦντες φορτικῶς καὶ πέρα τοῦ καλῶς ἔχοντος ἐμφορούμενοι καὶ μεμψίμοιροι φαινόμενοι καὶ ἐπὶ τῆς κύλικος ἀτερπῆ καὶ ἀπῳδὰ φιλοσοφοῦντες καὶ τὸν ἄκρατον οὐ φέροντες· οἱ ἰδιῶται δὲ ὁπόσοι πάρεισιν, γελῶσι δηλαδὴ καὶ καταπτύουσιν φιλοσοφίας, εἰ τοιαῦτα καθάρματα ἐκτρέφει.

[¶9] 35. FRANKNESS: Most shameless of all, though each one of them says he needs nothing and bawls it abroad that only the wise man is rich, after a little he presents himself and asks for something, and is angry if he does not get it. It is just as if someone in royal robes, with a high turban and a diadem and all the other marks of kingly dignity, should play the mendicant, begging of men worse off than himself. When they must needs receive a present, there is a great deal of talk to the effect that a man should be ready to share what he has, and that money does not matter: “What, pray, does gold or silver amount to, since it’ is not in any way better than pebbles on the sea-shore!”” But when someone in want of help, an old-time comrade and friend, goes and asks for a little of their plenty, he encounters silence, hesitancy, forgetfulness, and complete recantation of doctrines. Their numerous speeches about friendship, their “virtue’”’ and their “honour” have all gone flying off, I know not whither, winged words for certain, idly bandied about by them daily in their class-rooms.

> Greek: 35. Παρρησιάδης: τὸ δὲ πάντων αἴσχιστον, ὅτι μηδενὸς δεῖσθαι λέγων ἕκαστος αὐτῶν, ἀλλὰ μόνον πλούσιον εἶναι τὸν σοφὸν κεκραγὼς μικρὸν ὕστερον προσελθὼν αἰτεῖ καὶ ἀγανακτεῖ μὴ λαβών, ὅμοιον ὡς εἴ τις ἐν βασιλικῷ σχήματι ὀρθὴν τιάραν ἔχων καὶ διάδημα καὶ τὰ ἄλλα ὅσα βασιλείας γνωρίσματα προσαιτοίη τῶν ὑποδεεστέρων δεόμενος. ὅταν μὲν οὖν λαβεῖν αὐτοὺς δέῃ, πολὺς ὁ περὶ τοῦ κοινωνικὸν εἶναι δεῖν λόγος καὶ ὡς ἀδιάφορον ὁ πλοῦτος καί, τί γὰρ τὸ χρυσίον ἢ τἀργύριον, οὐδὲν τῶν ἐν τοῖς αἰγιαλοῖς ψήφων διαφέρον; ὅταν δέ τις ἐπικουρίας δεόμενος ἑταῖρος ἐκ παλαιοῦ καὶ φίλος ἀπὸ πολλῶν ὀλίγα αἰτῇ προσελθών, σιωπὴ καὶ ἀπορία καὶ ἀμαθία καὶ παλινῳδία τῶν δογμάτων πρὸς τὸ ἐναντίον· οἱ δὲ πολλοὶ περὶ φιλίας ἐκεῖνοι λόγοι καὶ ἡ ἀρετὴ καὶ τὸ καλὸν οὐκ οἶδα ὅποι ποτὲ οἴχεται ταῦτα ἀποπτάμενα πάντα, πτερόεντα ὡς ἀληθῶς ἔπη, μάτην ὁσημέραι πρὸς αὐτῶν ἐν ταῖς διατριβαῖς σκιαμαχούμενα.

[¶10] 36. FRANKNESS: Each of them is your friend as long as silver and gold are not in sight on the table; but if you merely give them a glimpse of an obol, the peace is broken, it is war without truce or parley everywhere, the pages of their books have become blank, and Virtue has taken to her heels. So it is with dogs, when you toss a bone among them; they spring to their feet and begin biting each other and barking at the one that was first to snatch the bone. It is said, too, that a king of Egypt once taught apes to dance, and that the animals, as they are very apt at imitating human ways, learned quickly and gave an exhibition, with purple mantles about them and masks on their faces. For a long time the show, they say, went well, until a facetions spectator, having nuts in his pocket, tossed them into the midst. On catching sight of them, the monkeys forgot their dance, changed from artists of the ballet to the simians that they really were, smashed their masks, tore their costumes, and fought with each other for the nuts; whereby the carefully planned ballet was entirely broken up, and was laughed at by the spectators.

> Greek: 36. Παρρησιάδης: μέχρι γὰρ τούτου φίλος ἕκαστος αὐτῶν, εἰς ὅσον ἂν μὴ ἀργύριον ἢ χρυσίον ᾖ προκείμενον ἐν τῷ μέσῳ· ἢν δέ τις ὀβολὸν ἐπιδείξῃ μόνον, λέλυται μὲν ἡ εἰρήνη, ἄσπονδα δὲ κἀκήρυκτα πάντα, καὶ τὰ βιβλία ἐξαλήλιπται καὶ ἡ ἀρετὴ πέφευγεν. οἷόν τι καὶ οἱ κύνες πάσχουσιν ἐπειδάν τις ὀστοῦν εἰς μέσους αὐτοὺς ἐμβάλῃ· ἀναπηδήσαντες δάκνουσιν ἀλλήλους καὶ τὸν προαρπάσαντα τὸ ὀστοῦν ὑλακτοῦσιν. λέγεται δὲ καὶ βασιλεύς τις Αἰγύπτιος πιθήκους ποτὲ πυρριχίζειν διδάξαι καὶ τὰ θηρία — μιμηλότατα δέ ἐστι τῶν ἀνθρωπίνων — ἐκμαθεῖν τάχιστα καὶ ὀρχεῖσθαι ἁλουργίδας ἀμπεχόμενα καὶ προσωπεῖα περικείμενα, καὶ μέχρι γε πολλοῦ εὐδοκιμεῖν τὴν θέαν, ἄχρι δὴ θεατής τις ἀστεῖος κάρυα ὑπὸ κόλπου ἔχων ἀφῆκεν εἰς τὸ μέσον· οἱ δὲ πίθηκοι ἰδόντες καὶ ἐκλαθόμενοι τῆς ὀρχήσεως, τοῦθʼ ὅπερ ἦσαν, πίθηκοι ἐγένοντο ἀντὶ πυρριχιστῶν καὶ συνέτριβον τὰ προσωπεῖα καὶ τὴν ἐσθῆτα κατερρήγνυον καὶ ἐμάχοντο περὶ τῆς ὀπώρας πρὸς ἀλλήλους, τὸ δὲ σύνταγμα τῆς πυρρίχης διελέλυτο καὶ κατεγελᾶτο ὑπὸ τοῦ θεάτρου.

[¶11] 37. FRANKNESS: These self-styled philosophers do just that, and I for my part abused their sort, and shall never stop criticizing and ridiculing them. But as for you and those who resemble you—for there are, there are some who truly cultivate philosophy and abide by your laws—may I never be so insane as to say anything abusive or unkind of you! What could I say? What is there of that nature in the lives that you have led? But those pretenders and miscreants deserve in my opinion to be hated. Come, now, Pythagoras, Plato, Chrysippus, Aristotle—what do you say? Have their sort anything to do with you, ov have they displayed any similarity or kinship in their mode of life? Aye, “Heracles and the monkey, as the proverb has it! Because they have long beards and claim to be philosophers and look sour, ought they to be compared with you? [could have: put up with it if they were at least convincing in their roles, but as things are, it would be easier for a buzzard to imitate a nightingale than for them to imitate philosophers. I have said all that I had to say in my own defence. Truth, tell them whether it is true.

> Greek: 37. Παρρησιάδης: τοιαῦτα καὶ οὗτοι ποιοῦσιν, καὶ ἔγωγε τοὺς τοιούτους κακῶς ἠγόρευον καὶ οὔποτε παύσομαι διελέγχων καὶ κωμῳδῶν, περὶ ὑμῶν δὲ ἢ τῶν ὑμῖν παραπλησίων — εἰσὶ γάρ, εἰσί τινες ὡς ἀληθῶς φιλοσοφίαν ζηλοῦντες καὶ τοῖς ὑμετέροις νόμοις ἐμμένοντες — μὴ οὕτως μανείην ἔγωγε ὡς βλάσφημον εἰπεῖν τι ἢ σκαιόν. ἢ τί γὰρ ἂν εἰπεῖν ἔχοιμι; τί γὰρ ὑμῖν τοιοῦτον βεβίωται; τοὺς δὲ ἀλαζόνας ἐκείνους καὶ θεοῖς ἐχθροὺς ἄξιον οἶμαι μισεῖν. ἢ σὺ γάρ, ὦ Πυθαγόρα καὶ Πλάτων καὶ Χρύσιππε καὶ Ἀριστότελες, τί φατε; προσήκειν ὑμῖν τοὺς τοιούτους ἢ οἰκεῖόν τι καὶ συγγενὲς ἐπιδείκνυσθαι τῷ βίῳ; νὴ Δῐ Ἡρακλῆς, φασίν, καὶ πίθηκος. ἢ διότι πώγωνας ἔχουσι καὶ φιλοσοφεῖν φάσκουσι καὶ σκυθρωποί εἰσι, διὰ τοῦτο χρὴ ὑμῖν εἰκάζειν αὐτούς; ἀλλὰ ἤνεγκα ἄν, εἰ πιθανοὶ γοῦν ἦσαν καὶ ἐπὶ τῆς ὑποκρίσεως αὐτῆς· νῦν δὲ θᾶττον ἂν γὺψ ἀηδόνα μιμήσαιτο ἢ οὗτοι φιλοσόφους. εἴρηκα ὑπὲρ ἐμαυτοῦ ὁπόσα εἶχον. σὺ δέ, ὦ Ἀλήθεια, μαρτύρει πρὸς αὐτοὺς εἰ ἀληθῆ ἐστιν.

[¶12] 38. PHILOSOPHY: Stand aside, Frankness; still farther... What are we to do? What did you think of the man’s speech?

> Greek: 38. Φιλοσοφία: μετάστηθι, ὦ Παρρησιάδη· ἔτι πορρωτέρω. τί ποιῶμεν ἡμεῖς; πῶς ὑμῖν εἰρηκέναι ἁνὴρ ἔδοξεν;

[¶13] TRUTH: For my part, Philosophy, while he was speaking I prayed that I might sink into the earth, so true was everything that he said. In fact, as I listened, I recognized each of the men who act that way and applied his remarks to them: “That refers to this man; so-and-so does that.” In short, he portrayed the gentlemen to the life, as in a painting, accurate likenesses in every respect, depicting not only their persons, but their very souls‘as faithfully as could be. VIRTUE: I, Virtue, also had to blush for shame.

> Greek: Ἀλήθεια: ἐγὼ μέν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, μεταξὺ λέγοντος αὐτοῦ κατὰ τῆς γῆς δῦναι εὐχόμην· οὕτως ἀληθῆ πάντα εἶπεν. ἐγνώριζον γοῦν ἀκούουσα ἕκαστον τῶν ποιούντων αὐτὰ καὶ ἐφήρμοζον μεταξὺ τοῖς λεγομένοις, τοῦτο μὲν εἰς τόνδε, τοῦτο δὲ ὁ δεῖνα ποιεῖ· καὶ ὅλως ἔδειξε τοὺς ἄνδρας ἐναργῶς καθάπερ ἐπί τινος γραφῆς τὰ πάντα προσεοικότας, οὐ τὰ σώματα μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ τὰς ψυχὰς αὐτὰς εἰς τὸ ἀκριβέστατον ἀπεικάσας. Ἀρετή: κἀγὼ πάνυ ἠρυθρίασα ἡ Ἀρετή.

[¶14] PHILOSOPHY: And what say you?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ὑμεῖς δὲ τί φατέ;

[¶15] PLATO: What else but to acquit him of the charge and set him down as our friend and benefactor? Indeed, just what happened to the Ilians has happened to us— we have brought down upon ourselves an actor of tragedies to hold forth about the woes of the Trojans! Let him hold forth, then, and make tragedies out of these miscreants.

> Greek: Πλάτων: τί δὲ ἄλλο ἢ ἀφεῖσθαι αὐτὸν τοῦ ἐγκλήματος καὶ φίλον ἡμῖν καὶ εὐεργέτην ἀναγεγράφθαι; τὸ γοῦν τῶν Ἰλιέων ἀτεχνῶς πεπόνθαμεν· τραγῳδόν τινα τοῦτον ἐφʼ ἡμᾶς κεκινήκαμεν ᾀσόμενον τὰς Φρυγῶν συμφοράς. ᾀδέτω δʼ οὖν καὶ τοὺς θεοῖς ἐχθροὺς ἐκτραγῳδείτω.

[¶16] DIOGENES: I, too, Philosophy, commend the man highly, take back my complaint and count him a friend, for he is a gallant fellow.

> Greek: Διογένης: καὶ αὐτός, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, πάνυ ἐπαινῶ τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ ἀνατίθεμαι τὰ κατηγορούμενα καὶ φίλον ποιοῦμαι αὐτὸν γενναῖον ὄντα.

[¶17] 39. PHILOSOPHY: Good! Come, Frankness. We acquit you of the charge; you have an unanimous verdict in your favour, and from now on you may count yourself one of my household.

> Greek: 39. Φιλοσοφία: εὖ ἔχει· πρόσιθι Παρρησιάδη· ἀφίεμέν σε τῆς αἰτίας, καὶ ἁπάσαις κρατεῖς, καὶ τὸ λοιπὸν ἴσθι ἡμέτερος ὤν.

[¶18] FRANKNESS: I pay my homage at once. (He kisses his hand.) But no! I think I shall do it more as they do in a play, for that will be more reverential:
O Victory, goddess so greatly revered,
Take my life in thy care
And cease not to crown me with garlands. VIRTUE: Well, then, let us now initiate our second bowl of wine. Let us summon up those others to be punished for the insults they are inflicting upon us. Frankness shall accuse each of them.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: προσεκύνησα τήν γε πρώτην· μᾶλλον δέ, τραγικώτερον αὐτὸ ποιήσειν μοι δοκῶ· σεμνότερον γάρ·
ὦ μέγα σεμνὴ Νίκη, τὸν ἐμὸν
βίοτον κατέχοις
καὶ μὴ λήγοις στεφανοῦσα. Ἀρετή: οὐκοῦν δευτέρου κρατῆρος ἤδη καταρχώμεθα· προσκαλῶμεν κἀκείνους, ὡς δίκην ὑπόσχωσιν ἀνθʼ ὧν εἰς ἡμᾶς ὑβρίζουσι· κατηγορήσει δὲ Παρρησιάδης ἑκάστου.

[¶19] PHILOSOPHY: Quite right, Virtue; so slip down into the town, Syllogism, my lad, and summon the philosophers.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ὀρθῶς, ὦ Ἀρετή, ἔλεξας. ὥστε σύ, παῖ Συλλογισμέ, κατακύψας εἰς τὸ ἄστυ προσκήρυττε τοὺς φιλοσόφους.

[¶20] 40. SYLLOGISM: Oyez! Silence! Let the philosophers come to the Acropolis to present their defence before Virtue, Philosophy, and Justice. FRANKNESS: Do you see! Very few of them understood the summons and are coming up. Besides, they fear Justice, and most of them are actually too busy because of their attentions to the rich. If you wish them all to come, Syllogism, make your proclamation like this— SYLLOGISM: No! You summon them, Frankness. in the way you think best.

> Greek: 40. Συλλογισμός: ἄκουε, σίγα· τοὺς φιλοσόφους ἥκειν εἰς ἀκρόπολιν ἀπολογησομένους ἐπὶ τῆς Ἀρετῆς καὶ Φιλοσοφίας καὶ Δίκης. Παρρησιάδης: ὁρᾷς; ὀλίγοι ἀνίασι γνωρίσαντες τὸ κήρυγμα, καὶ ἄλλως δεδίασι τὴν Δίκην· οἱ πολλοὶ δὲ αὐτῶν οὐδὲ σχολὴν ἄγουσιν ἀμφὶ τοὺς πλουσίους ἔχοντες. εἰ δὲ βούλει πάντας ἥκειν, κατὰ τάδε, ὦ Συλλογισμέ, κήρυττε — Συλλογισμός: Μηδαμῶς, ἀλλὰ σύ, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, προσκάλει καθʼ ὅ τι σοι δοκεῖ.

[¶21] 41. FRANKNESS: Nothing hard about that. Oyez! Silence! All who assert that they are philosophers, and all who think that they have any connection with the name, come tothe Acropolis for a distribution of gifts! Two minas will be given to every man, and a seed-cake also; and whoever displays a Jong beard shall receive a basket of figs into the bargain. Never mind temperance or justice or self-control, as these qualities are not essential if they are not available; but let each bring with him five syllogisms by all means, for without these it is impossible to be wise.
Lo, we have set up as prize two talents of gold for the contest;
These shall we give unto him who prevails over all in debating!

> Greek: 41. Παρρησιάδης: οὐδὲν τόδε χαλεπόν. ἄκουε, σίγα. ὅσοι φιλόσοφοι εἶναι λέγουσιν καὶ ὅσοι προσήκειν αὐτοῖς οἴονται τοῦ ὀνόματος, ἥκειν εἰς ἀκρόπολιν ἐπὶ τὴν διανομήν. δύο μναῖ ἑκάστῳ δοθήσονται καὶ σησαμαῖος πλακοῦς· ὃς δʼ ἂν πώγωνα βαθὺν ἐπιδείξηται, καὶ παλάθην ἰσχάδων οὗτός γε προσεπιλήψεται. κομίζειν δʼ ἕκαστον σωφροσύνην μὲν ἢ δικαιοσύνην ἢ ἐγκράτειαν μηδαμῶς· οὐκ ἀναγκαῖα γὰρ ταῦτά γε, ἢν μὴ παρῇ· πέντε δὲ συλλογισμοὺς ἐξ ἅπαντος· οὐ γὰρ θέμις ἄνευ τούτων εἶναι σοφόν.
κεῖται δʼ ἐν μέσσοισι δύο χρυσοῖο τάλαντα,
τῷ δόμεν, ὃς μετὰ πᾶσιν ἐριζέμεν ἔξοχος εἴη.

[¶22] 42. PHILOSOPHY: Aha! What a lot of them! The road up to the gate is full of men hustling after the two minas, as soon as they heard of them; others are coming up beside the Pelasgicon; others by the precinct of Asclepius; even more of them along the Areopagus; some, too, by the tomb of Talus; and some have set ladders against the temple of the Twin Brethren and are climbing up with a hum, by Heaven, and “in clusters” like swarming bees, to use the words of Homer; from that side right many, and from the other
Thousands of men, like the leaves and the flowers that come in the springtime.
The Acropolis is full in a trice as they
noisily settle in place,
and everywhere are begging-bags and flattery, beards and shamelessness, staves and gluttony, syllogisms and avarice. The few that came up in answer to the first summons are obscure and inconspicuous, intermingled with the crowd of others, and they escape the eye in the general similarity of garb.

> Greek: 42. Φιλοσοφία: βαβαί, ὅσοι· πλήρης μὲν ἡ ἄνοδος ὠθιζομένων ἐπὶ τὰς δύο μνᾶς, ὡς ἤκουσαν μόνον· παρὰ δὲ τὸ Πελασγικὸν ἄλλοι καὶ κατὰ τὸ Ἀσκληπιεῖον ἕτεροι καὶ παρὰ τὸν Ἄρειον πάγον ἔτι πλείους, ἔνιοι δὲ καὶ κατὰ τὸν Τάλω τάφον, οἱ δὲ καὶ πρὸς τὸ Ἀνακεῖον προσθέμενοι κλίμακας ἀνέρπουσι βομβηδὸν νὴ Δία καὶ βοτρυδὸν ἑσμοῦ δίκην, ἵνα καὶ καθʼ Ὅμηρον εἴπω· ἀλλὰ κἀκεῖθεν εὖ μάλα πολλοὶ κἀντεῦθεν μυρίοι, ὅσσα τε φύλλα καὶ ἄνθεα γίνεται ὥρῃ. μεστὴ δὲ ἡ ἀκρόπολις ἐν βραχεῖ κλαγγηδὸν προκαθιζόντων καὶ πανταχοῦ πήρα κολακεία, πώγων ἀναισχυντία, βακτηρία λιχνεία, συλλογισμὸς φιλαργυρία· οἱ ὀλίγοι δέ, ὁπόσοι πρὸς τὸ πρῶτον κήρυγμα ἐκεῖνο ἀνῄεσαν, ἀφανεῖς καὶ ἄσημοι, ἀναμιχθέντες τῷ πλήθει τῶν ἄλλων, καὶ λελήθασιν ἐν τῇ ὁμοιότητι τῶν ἄλλων σχημάτων.

[¶23] FRANKNESS: In fact, that is the worst feature of it all, Philosophy, and the one for which you could be most criticized, that you have set no mark and token upon them. These cheats are often more convincing than the genuine philosophers.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: τοῦτο γοῦν τὸ δεινότατόν ἐστιν, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, καὶ ὅ τις ἂν μέμψαιτο μάλιστά σου, τὸ μηδὲν ἐπιβαλεῖν γνώρισμα καὶ σημεῖον αὐτοῖς· πιθανώτεροι γὰρ οἱ γόητες οὗτοι πολλάκις τῶν ἀληθῶς φιλοσοφούντων.

[¶24] PHILOSOPHY: That shall be seen to presently; but let us welcome them now.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ἔσται τοῦτο μετʼ ὀλίγον, ἀλλὰ δεχώμεθα ἤδη αὐτούς.

[¶25] 43. PLATONIST: We Platonists should get our share first. PYTHAGOREAN: No! we Pythagoreans, for Pythagoras was earlier. STOIC: Nonsense! we of the Porch are better. PERIPATETIC: Not at all; in matters of money we of the Walk should be first. EPICUREAN: Give us Epicureans the cakes and the figs, but we will wait for the money, even if we have to be the last to get it. ACADEMIC: Where are the two talents? We Academics will show you how much better debaters we are than the rest! STOIC: Not while we Stoics are here!

> Greek: 43. Πλατωνικός: ἡμᾶς πρώτους χρὴ τοὺς Πλατωνικοὺς λαβεῖν. Πυθαγορικός: οὔκ, ἀλλὰ τοὺς Πυθαγορικοὺς ἡμᾶς· πρότερος γὰρ ὁ Πυθαγόρας ἦν. Στωικός: Ληρεῖτε· ἀμείνους ἡμεῖς οἱ ἀπὸ τῆς Στοᾶς. Περιπατητικός: οὐ μὲν οὖν, ἀλλʼ ἔν γε τοῖς χρήμασι πρῶτοι ἂν ἡμεῖς εἴημεν οἱ ἐκ τοῦ Περιπάτου. ΕΠΙΚΟΥΡΕΙΟΣ: ἡμῖν τοῖς Ἐπικουρείοις τοὺς πλακοῦντας δότε καὶ τὰς παλάθας· περὶ δὲ τῶν μνῶν περιμενοῦμεν, κἂν ὑστάτους δέῃ λαβεῖν. Ἀκαδημαικός: ποῦ τὰ δύο τάλαντα; δείξομεν γὰρ οἱ Ἀκαδημαϊκοὶ ὅσον τῶν ἄλλων ἐσμὲν ἐριστικώτεροι. Στωικός: οὐχ ἡμῶν γε τῶν Στωϊκῶν παρόντων.

[¶26] 44. PHILOSOPHY: Stop your bickering! You Cynics, do not jostle one another or strike each other with your staves. You were asked here for a different purpose, let me assure you! And now I, Philosophy, and Virtue here and Truth will decide who are the genuine philosophers. Then all who are found to be living by our rules shall be pronounced superior and will be happy ever after, but as for the cheats and all those who have nothing in common with us, we shall put the wretches to a wretched end, so that they may not claim any part in things that are over their heads, false pretenders that they are! What is this? Are you running away? By Heaven, they are, most of them jumping over the cliffs! The Acropolis is empty except for these few who have remained because they did not fear the trial.

> Greek: 44. Φιλοσοφία: παύσασθε φιλονεικοῦντες· ὑμεῖς δὲ οἱ Κυνικοὶ μήτε ὠθεῖτε ἀλλήλους μήτε τοῖς ξύλοις παίετε· ἐπʼ ἄλλα γὰρ ἴστε κεκλημένοι. καὶ νῦν ἔγωγε ἡ Φιλοσοφία καὶ Ἀρετὴ αὕτη καὶ Ἀλήθεια δικάσομεν οἵτινες οἱ ὀρθῶς φιλοσοφοῦντές εἰσιν. εἶτα ὅσοι μὲν ἂν εὑρεθῶσιν κατὰ τὰ ἡμῖν δοκοῦντα βιοῦντες, εὐδαιμονήσουσιν ἄριστοι κεκριμένοι· τοὺς γόητας δὲ καὶ οὐδὲν ἡμῖν προσήκοντας κακοὺς κακῶς ἐπιτρίψομεν, ὡς μὴ ἀντιποιῶνται τῶν ὑπὲρ αὐτοὺς ἀλαζόνες ὄντες. τί τοῦτο; φεύγετε; νὴ Δία, κατὰ τῶν γε κρημνῶν οἱ πολλοὶ ἁλλόμενοι. κενὴ δʼ οὖν ἡ ἀκρόπολις, πλὴν ὀλίγων τούτων ὁπόσοι μεμενήκασιν οὐ φοβηθέντες τὴν κρίσιν.

[¶27] 45. PHILOSOPHY: Attendants, pick up the bag which the Cynic threw away in the rout. Come, let me see what is in it; probably lupines, or a book, or some whole-wheat bread. ATTENDANT: No! gold—see here!—perfume, a razor, a mirror, and a set of dice!

> Greek: 45. Φιλοσοφία: οἱ ὑπηρέται ἀνέλεσθε τὴν πήραν, ἣν ὁ Κυνικὸς ἀπέρριψεν ἐν τῇ τροπῇ. φέρʼ ἴδω τί καὶ ἔχει· ἦ που θέρμους ἢ βιβλίον ἢ ἄρτους τῶν αὐτοπυριτῶν; Ὑπηρέτης: Οὔκ, ἀλλὰ χρυσίον τουτὶ καὶ μύρον καὶ μαχαίριον κουρευτικὸν καὶ κάτοπτρον καὶ κύβους.

[¶28] PHILOSOPHY: Good for you, my fine fellow! Were these your instruments for the mortification of the flesh, and did’ _ you think that with the aid of these you could abuse all mankind and instruct the rest of the world?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: εὖ γε, ὦ γενναῖε. τοιαῦτα ἦν σοι τὰ ἐφόδια τῆς ἀσκήσεως καὶ μετὰ τούτων ἠξίους λοιδορεῖσθαι πᾶσιν καὶ τοὺς ἄλλους παιδαγωγεῖν;

[¶29] FRANKNESS: Well, there you see what they are like. You must consider how all this is to stop going on unobserved, and how those who come into contact with them are to tell which of them are the good and which, on the contrary, the followers of thte other life.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: τοιοῦτοι μὲν οὖν ὑμῖν οὗτοι. χρὴ δὲ ὑμᾶς σκοπεῖν ὅντινα τρόπον ἀγνοούμενα ταῦτα πεπαύσεται καὶ διαγνώσονται οἱ ἐντυγχάνοντες, οἵτινες οἱ ἀγαθοὶ αὐτῶν εἰσι καὶ οἵτινες αὖ πάλιν οἱ τοῦ ἑτέρου βίου.

[¶30] PHILOSOPHY: Invent a plan, Truth; for it would be in your own interest to do so, in order that Falsehood may not prevail over you, and bad men, under the cloak of Ignorance, escape your eye when they imitate the good.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: Σύ, ὦ Ἀλήθεια, ἐξεύρισκε· ὑπὲρ σοῦ γὰρ τοῦτο γένοιτʼ ἄν, ὡς μὴ ἐπικρατῇ σου τὸ Ψεῦδος μηδὲ ὑπὸ τῇ Ἀγνοίᾳ λανθάνωσιν οἱ φαῦλοι τῶν ἀνδρῶν σε τοὺς χρηστοὺς μεμιμημένοι.

[¶31] 46. TRUTH: If you think best, let us empower Frankness himself to do this, since we have seen that he is honest and in sympathy with us, and that he particularly admires you, Philosophy—to take along Investigation and put himself in the way of all who claim to be philosophers. Then, whenever he finds a truly legitimate son of Philosophy, let him crown the man with a wreath of green olive and invite him to the Prytaneum; and if he meets a scoundrel whose philosophy is but stage-play—there are many of that sort—let him tear his mantle, cut off his beard close to the skin with goat-shears, and stamp or brand a mark on his forehead, between the eyebrows; let the pattern of the brand be a fox or an ape.

> Greek: 46. Ἀλήθεια: ἐπʼ αὐτῷ, εἰ δοκεῖ, Παρρησιάδῃ ποιησώμεθα τὸ τοιοῦτον, ἐπεὶ χρηστὸς ὦπται καὶ εὔνους ἡμῖν καὶ σέ, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, μάλιστα θαυμάζων, παραλαβόντα μεθʼ ἑαυτοῦ τὸν Ἔλεγχον ἅπασι τοῖς φάσκουσι φιλοσοφεῖν ἐντυγχάνειν. εἶθʼ ὃν μὲν ἂν εὕρῃ γνήσιον ὡς ἀληθῶς φιλόσοφον, στεφανωσάτω θαλλοῦ στεφάνῳ καὶ εἰς τὸ Πρυτανεῖον καλεσάτω, ἢν δέ τινι — οἷοι πολλοί εἰσι — καταράτῳ ἀνδρὶ ὑποκριτῇ φιλοσοφίας ἐντύχῃ, τὸ τριβώνιον περισπάσας ἀποκειράτω τὸν πώγωνα ἐν χρῷ πάνυ τραγοκουρικῇ μαχαίρᾳ καὶ ἐπὶ τοῦ μετώπου στίγματα ἐπιβαλέτω ἢ ἐγκαυσάτω κατὰ τὸ μεσόφρυον· ὁ δὲ τύπος τοῦ καυτῆρος ἔστω ἀλώπηξ ἢ πίθηκος.

[¶32] PHILOSOPHY: Good for you, Truth! Let the test, Frankness, be like the test of the eaglets against the sun. Not that they, like the eaglets, are to stare at the light and be put to the proof in that way; but set gold and fame and pleasure in their view, and whomsoever of them you see paying no attention and in no way attracted to the spectacle, let him be the one to wear the crown of green olive; but whomever you see gazing fixedly at the gold and reaching his hand out after it, hale him off to the branding-place, after first cutting off his beard in accordance with our decision.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: εὖ γε, ὦ Ἀλήθεια, φής· ὁ δὲ ἔλεγχος, Παρρησιάδη, τοιόσδε ἔστω, οἷος ὁ τῶν ἀετῶν πρὸς τὸν ἥλιον εἶναι λέγεται, οὐ μὰ Δίʼ ὥστε κἀκείνους ἀντιβλέπειν τῷ φωτὶ καὶ πρὸς ἐκεῖνο δοκιμάζεσθαι, ἀλλὰ προθεὶς χρυσίον καὶ δόξαν καὶ ἡδονὴν ὃν μὲν ἂν αὐτῶν ἴδῃς ὑπερορῶντα καὶ μηδαμῶς ἑλκόμενον πρὸς τὴν ὄψιν, οὗτος ἔστω ὁ τῷ θαλλῷ στεφόμενος, ὃν δʼ ἂν ἀτενὲς ἀποβλέποντα καὶ τὴν χεῖρα ὀρέγοντα ἐπὶ τὸ χρυσίον, ἀπάγειν ἐπὶ τὸ καυτήριον τοῦτον ἀποκείρας πρότερον τὸν πώγωνα ὡς ἔδοξεν.

[¶33] 47. FRANKNESS: It shall be done, Philosophy. You shall very soon see most of them wearing the fox-brand or the ape- brand, and but few crowned with wreaths. If you like, however, I will bring you up some of them here and now.

> Greek: 47. Παρρησιάδης: ἔσται ταῦτα, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, καὶ ὄψει αὐτίκα μάλα τοὺς πολλοὺς αὐτῶν ἀλωπεκίας ἢ πιθηκοφόρους, ὀλίγους δὲ καὶ ἐστεφανωμένους· εἰ βούλεσθε μέντοι, κἀνταῦθα ὑμῖν ἀνάξω τινὰς ἤδη αὐτῶν.

[¶34] PHILOSOPHY: What! you will bring up the runaways?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: πῶς λέγεις; ἀνάξεις τοὺς φυγόντας;

[¶35] FRANKNESS: Yes, indeed, if the priestess will be good enough to lend me for a moment that hook and line which the fisherman from the Peiraeus dedicated. PRIESTESS: There, take it, and the rod too, so that you may have a complete outfit.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: καὶ μάλα, ἤνπερ ἡ ἱέρειά μοι ἐθελήσῃ πρὸς ὀλίγον χρῆσαι τὴν ὁρμιὰν ἐκείνην καὶ τὸ ἄγκιστρον, ὅπερ ὁ ἁλιεὺς ἀνέθηκεν ὁ ἐκ Πειραιῶς. Ἱερεία: ἰδοὺ δὴ λαβέ, καὶ τὸν κάλαμόν γε ἅμα, ὡς πάντα ἔχῃς.

[¶36] FRANKNESS: And now, priestess, give me some figs quickly and a little of your gold. PRIESTESS: Take them.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οὐκοῦν, ὦ ἱέρεια, καὶ ἰσχάδας μοί τινας δὸς ἀνύσασα καὶ ὀλίγον τοῦ χρυσίου. Ἱερεία: λάμβανε.

[¶37] PHILOSOPHY: What does the man intend to do? Baiting the hook with the fig and the gold, and taking his seat on the crest of the wall, he has made a cast into the town! Why are you doing that, Frankness? Have you made up your mind to fish up the stones out of the Pelasgicon?

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: τί πράττειν ἁνὴρ διανοεῖται; δελεάσας τὸ ἄγκιστρον ἰσχάδι καὶ τῷ χρυσίῳ καθεζόμενος ἐπὶ τὸ ἄκρον τοῦ τειχίου καθῆκεν εἰς τὴν πόλιν. τί ταῦτα, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, ποιεῖς; ἦ που τοὺς λίθους ἁλιεύσειν διέγνωκας ἐκ τοῦ Πελασγικοῦ;

[¶38] FRANKNESS: Hush, Philosophy; wait and see my catch. Poseidon, god of fishermen, and dear Amphitrite, send us up quantities of fish!

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: σιώπησον, ὦ Φιλοσοφία, καὶ τὴν ἄγραν περίμενε· σὺ δέ, ὦ Πόσειδον ἀγρεῦ καὶ Ἀμφιτρίτη φίλη, πολλοὺς ἡμῖν ἀνάπεμπε τῶν ἰχθύων.

[¶39] 48. FRANKNESS: Ah! I see a fine big pike, or rather, a golden carp.—No, it is a cat-fish. Anyhow, he is coming up to the hook with his mouth open. He has scented the gold; now he is close by; he struck; he is on; let’s pull him up. You pull too, Investigation. Investigation, take hold of the line with me! INVESTIGATION: He isup! Come, let me see what you are, my good fish. A dogfish! Heracles, what teeth! How about it, my fine fellow? Caught, were you, gormandizing about the rocks, where you hoped to slip under cover and keep out of sight? But now you will be in public view, hung up by the gills! Let us take out the hook and the bait. No, by Zeus, he has swallowed it! Here is your hook, all bare; the fig and the gold are secure in his insides.

> Greek: 48. Παρρησιάδης: ἀλλʼ ὁρῶ τινα λάβρακα εὐμεγέθη, μᾶλλον δὲ χρύσοφρυν· οὐκ, ἀλλὰ γαλεός ἐστιν. πρόσεισι γοῦν τῷ ἀγκίστρῳ κεχηνώς· ὤσφραται τοῦ χρυσίου· πλησίον ἤδη ἐστίν· ἔψαυσεν· εἴληπται· ἀνασπάσωμεν. καὶ σύ, ὦ Ἔλεγχε, ἀνάσπα· Ἔλεγχε, συνεπιλαβοῦ τῆς ὁρμιᾶς. Ἔλεγχος: ἄνω ἐστί. φέρʼ ἴδω τίς εἶ, ὦ βέλτιστε ἰχθύων; κύων οὗτός γε. Ἡράκλεις τῶν ὀδόντων. τί τοῦτο, ὦ γενναιότατε; εἴληψαι λιχνεύων περὶ τὰς πέτρας, ἔνθα λήσειν ἤλπισας ὑποδεδυκώς; ἀλλὰ νῦν ἔσῃ φανερὸς ἅπασιν ἐκ τῶν βραγχίων ἀπηρτημένος. ἐξέλωμεν τὸ ἄγκιστρον καὶ τὸ δέλεαρ. μὰ Δίʼ ἔπιεν. τουτὶ κενόν σοι τὸ ἄγκιστρον· ἡ δʼ ἰσχὰς ἤδη προσέσχηται καὶ τὸ χρυσίον ἐν τῇ κοιλίᾳ.

[¶40] FRANKNESS: Let him spew them up, by Zeus, so that we may bait for others. That’s well. What say you, Diogenes; do you know who this fellow is, and has he anything in common with you?

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: ἐξεμεσάτω νὴ Δία, ὡς καὶ ἐπʼ ἄλλους δελεάσωμεν. εὖ ἔχει· τί φής, ὦ Διόγενες; οἶσθα τοῦτον ὅστις ἐστίν, ἢ προσήκει τί σοι ἁνήρ;

[¶41] DIOGENES: Not in the least!

> Greek: Διογένης: οὐδαμῶς.

[¶42] FRANKNESS: Well, how much ought we to call him worth? For my part, I valued him at two obols the other day.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: τί οὖν; πόσου ἄξιον αὐτὸν χρὴ φάναι; ἐγὼ μὲν γὰρ δύʼ ὀβολῶν πρῴην αὐτὸν ἐτιμησάμην.

[¶43] DIOGENES: A high price. He is inedible and ugly and tough and worthless. Throw him down the cliff head first. Let down your hook and pull up another. But I say: look out, Frankness, not to let your rod bend till it breaks.

> Greek: Διογένης: πολὺ λέγεις· ἄβρωτός τε γάρ ἐστιν καὶ εἰδεχθὴς καὶ σκληρὸς καὶ ἄτιμος· ἄφες αὐτὸν ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν κατὰ τῆς πέτρας· σὺ δὲ ἄλλον ἀνάσπασον καθεὶς τὸ ἄγκιστρον. ἐκεῖνο μέντοι· ὅρα, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, μὴ καμπτόμενός σοι ὁ κάλαμος ἀποκλασθῇ.

[¶44] FRANKNESS: Have no fear, Diogenes. They are light, and pull no harder than weakfish.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: θάρρει, ὦ Διόγενες· κοῦφοί εἰσι καὶ τῶν ἀφύων ἐλαφρότεροι.

[¶45] DIOGENES: Aye, they are mighty weak, for certain; pull them up, however.

> Greek: Διογένης: νὴ Δίʼ, ἀφυέστατοί γε· ἀνάσπα δὲ ὅμως.

[¶46] 49. FRANKNESS: See! Here comes another fish that looks like a plate, as if he were sliced lengthways, a sort of flatfish, opening his mouth for the hook. He has swallowed it; he is caught. Up with him! What is he? INVESTIGATION: The kind that styles itself Platonic.

> Greek: 49. Παρρησιάδης: ἰδού τις ἄλλος ὑπόπλατος ὥσπερ ἡμίτομος ἰχθὺς πρόσεισιν, ψῆττά τις, κεχηνὼς εἰς τὸ ἄγκιστρον· κατέπιεν, ἔχεται, ἀνεσπάσθω. τίς ἐστιν; Ἔλεγχος: ὁ Πλατωνικὸς εἶναι λέγων.

[¶47] FRANKNESS: So you came to get the gold too, confound you? What do vou say, Plato? What are we to do with him?

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: καὶ σύ, ὦ κατάρατε, ἥκεις ἐπὶ τὸ χρυσίον; τί φής, ὦ Πλάτων; τί ποιῶμεν αὐτόν;

[¶48] 50. PLATO: Over the same cliff with him! Let down for another.

> Greek: 50. Πλάτων: ἀπὸ τῆς αὐτῆς πέτρας καὶ οὗτος· ἐπʼ ἄλλον καθείσθω.

[¶49] FRANKNESS: Ah, I see a very handsome one coming up, as far as can be judged in the deep water; of many colours, with golden stripes on his back. Do you see him, Investigation? INVESTIGATION: He is the kind that claims the name of Aristotle.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: καὶ μὴν ὁρῶ τινα πάγκαλον προσιόντα, ὡς ἂν ἐν βυθῷ δόξειεν, ποικίλον τὴν χρόαν, ταινίας τινὰς ἐπὶ τοῦ νώτου ἐπιχρύσους ἔχοντα. ὁρᾷς, ὦ Ἔλεγχε; Ἔλεγχος: ὁ τὸν Ἀριστοτέλη προσποιούμενος οὗτός ἐστιν.

[¶50] FRANKNESS: He came up and then swam away again. He is making a careful survey. Now he has come back again; he has opened his mouth; he is caught. Up with him. ARISTOTLE: Don’t ask me about him, Frankness. I don’t know who he is.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: ἦλθεν, εἶτα πάλιν ἄπεισιν. περισκοπεῖ ἀκριβῶς, αὖθις ἐπανῆλθεν, ἔχανεν, εἴληπται, ἀνιμήσθω. Ἀριστοτέλης: μὴ ἀνέρῃ με, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, περὶ αὐτοῦ· ἀγνοῶ γὰρ ὅστις ἐστίν.

[¶51] FRANKNESS: Then he too shall go over the cliff, Aristotle.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οὐκοῦν καὶ οὗτος, ὦ Ἀριστότελες, κατὰ τῶν πετρῶν.

[¶52] 51. FRANKNESS: But look here! I see a great number of fish closely alike in colour, spiny and rough-skinned, harder to grasp than sea-urchins. Shall we need a seine for them?

> Greek: 51. Παρρησιάδης: ἀλλʼ ἢν ἰδού, πολλούς που τοὺς ἰχθῦς ὁρῶ κατὰ ταὐτὸν ὁμόχροας, ἀκανθώδεις καὶ τὴν ἐπιφάνειαν ἐκτετραχυσμένους, ἐχίνων δυσληπτοτέρους. ἦ που σαγήνης ἐπʼ αὐτοὺς δεήσει;

[¶53] PHILOSOPHY: But we haven't any. It will be enough if we land only one out of the school. The one that comes to the hook will of course be the boldest of them. INVESTIGATION: Let down your line, if you want, but first arm it with iron for some distance, so that he may. not saw it off with his teeth after he has swallowed the gold.

> Greek: Φιλοσοφία: ἀλλʼ οὐ πάρεστιν. ἱκανὸν εἰ κἂν ἕνα τινὰ ἐκ τῆς ἀγέλης ἀνασπάσαιμεν. ἥξει δὲ ἐπὶ τὸ ἄγκιστρον δηλαδὴ ὃς ἂν αὐτῶν θρασύτατος ᾖ. Ἔλεγχος: κάθες, εἰ δοκεῖ, σιδηρώσας γε πρότερον ἐπὶ πολὺ τῆς ὁρμιᾶς, ὡς μὴ ἀποπρίσῃ τοῖς ὀδοῦσι καταπιὼν τὸ χρυσίον.

[¶54] FRANKNESS: It is down. Poseidon, grant us a quick catch! Aha! _ they are fighting over the bait; some are nibbling the fig in schools and some have taken firm hold of the gold. Good! A very powerful one is on the hook! Come, let me see whose namesake you say you are. But itis silly of me to try to make a fish talk; these anyhow are certainly dumb! Come, Investigation, tell us whom he has for master. INVESTIGATION: Chrysippus here.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: καθῆκα. καὶ σὺ δέ, ὦ Πόσειδον, ταχεῖαν ἐπιτέλει τὴν ἄγραν. βαβαί, μάχονται περὶ τοῦ δελέατος, καὶ οἱ μὲν συνάμα πολλοὶ περιτρώγουσι τὴν ἰσχάδα, οἱ δὲ προσφύντες ἔχονται τοῦ χρυσίου. εὖ ἔχει· περιεπάρη τις μάλα καρτερός. φέρʼ ἴδω τίνος ἐπώνυμον σεαυτὸν εἶναι λέγεις; καίτοι γελοῖός εἰμι ἀναγκάζων ἰχθὺν λαλεῖν· ἄφωνοι γὰρ οὗτοί γε. ἀλλὰ σύ, ὦ Ἔλεγχε, εἰπὲ ὅντινα ἔχει διδάσκαλον αὐτοῦ. Ἔλεγχος: Χρύσιππον τουτονί.

[¶55] FRANKNESS: I understand: because there was gold in the name, I take it. Well, Chrysippus, in the name of the Goddess of Wisdom tell us, do you know these fellows, and do you advise them to do as they do? CHRYSIPPUS: By Zeus, your questions are insulting, Frankness, if you imply that we have anything in common with that sort.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: μανθάνω· διότι χρυσίον προσῆν, οἶμαι, τῷ ὀνόματι. σὺ δʼ οὖν, Χρύσιππε, πρὸς τῆς Ἀθηνᾶς εἰπέ, οἶσθα τοὺς ἄνδρας ἢ τοιαῦτα παραινεῖς αὐτοῖς ποιεῖν; Χρύσιππος: νὴ Δίʼ, ὑβριστικὰ ἐρωτᾷς, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, προσήκειν τι ἡμῖν ὑπολαμβάνων τοιούτους ὄντας.

[¶56] FRANKNESS: Good, Chrysippus: that is handsome of you. He too shall go head first after the rest, as he is.spiny and there is danger that anyone who should try to eat him might get a hole in his gullet.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: εὖ γε, ὦ Χρύσιππε, γενναῖος εἶ. οὗτος δὲ καὶ αὐτὸς ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν μετὰ τῶν ἄλλων, ἐπεὶ καὶ ἀκανθώδης ἐστί, καὶ δέος μὴ διαπαρῇ τις τὸν λαιμὸν ἐσθίων.

[¶57] 52. PHILOSOPHY: Enough of fishing, Frankness. One of them— there are many capable of it—may snatch off the gold and the hook and make away with them, and then you will have to settle with the priestess. So let us go away to take our stroll, and as for you (to the. Philosophers), it is high time you went where you came from, that you may not overstay your leave. Frankness, you and Investigation seek them all out on every hand and either crown or brand them, as I said.

> Greek: 52. Φιλοσοφία: ἅλις, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, τῆς ἄγρας, μὴ καί τίς σοι, οἷοι πολλοί εἰσιν, οἴχηται ἀποσπάσας τὸ χρυσίον καὶ τὸ ἄγκιστρον, εἶτά σε ἀποτῖσαι τῇ ἱερείᾳ δεήσῃ. ὥστε ἡμεῖς μὲν ἀπίωμεν περιπατήσουσαι· καιρὸς δὲ καὶ ὑμᾶς ἀπιέναι ὅθεν ἥκετε, μὴ καὶ ὑπερήμεροι γένησθε τῆς προθεσμίας. σφὼ δέ, σὺ καὶ ὁ Ἔλεγχος, ὦ Παρρησιάδη, ἐν κύκλῳ ἐπὶ πάντας αὐτοὺς ἰόντες ἢ στεφανοῦτε ἢ ἐγκάετε, ὡς ἔφην.

[¶58] FRANKNESS: It shall be done, Philosophy. Good-bye, gentlemen. Let us go down into the town, Investigation, and carry out our orders. INVESTIGATION: Where shall we go first? To the Academy, or to the Porch? Or shall we begin with the Lyceum?

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: ἔσται ταῦτα, ὦ Φιλοσοφία. χαίρετε, ὦ βέλτιστοι ἀνδρῶν. ἡμεῖς δὲ κατίωμεν, ὦ Ἔλεγχε, καὶ τελῶμεν τὰ παρηγγελμένα. Ἔλεγχος: ποῖ δὲ καὶ πρῶτον ἀπιέναι δεήσει; μῶν εἰς τὴν Ἀκαδημίαν ἢ εἰς τὴν Στοὰν ἢ ἀπὸ τοῦ Λυκείου ποιησώμεθα τὴν ἀρχήν;

[¶59] FRANKNESS: It will make no difference. I am sure, however, that wherever we go we shall need few crowns of olive, but many brands.

> Greek: Παρρησιάδης: οὐδὲν διοίσει τοῦτο. πλὴν οἶδά γε ἐγὼ ὡς ὅποι ποτʼ ἂν ἀπέλθωμεν, ὀλίγων μὲν τῶν στεφάνων, πολλῶν δὲ τῶν καυτηρίων δεησόμεθα.