§I
AS THE ALARM CLOCK on the chest of drawers exploded like a horrid little
bomb of bell metal, Dorothy, wrenched from the depths of some complex,
troubling dream, awoke with a start and lay on her back looking into the
darkness in extreme exhaustion.
The alarm clock continued its nagging, feminine clamour, which would go
on for five minutes or thereabouts if you did not stop it. Dorothy was
aching from head to foot, and an insidious and contemptible self-pity,
which usually seized upon her when it was time to get up in the morning,
caused her to bury her head under the bedclothes and try to shut the
hateful noise out of her ears. She struggled against her fatigue,
however, and, according to her custom, exhorted herself sharply in the
second person plural. Come on, Dorothy, up you get! No snoozing, please!
Proverbs vi. 9. Then she remembered that if the noise went on any longer
it would wake her father, and with a hurried movement she bounded out of
bed, seized the clock from the chest of drawers and turned off the
alarm. It was kept on the chest of drawers precisely in order that she
should have to get out of bed to silence it. Still in darkness, she
knelt down at her bedside and repeated the Lord’s Prayer, but rather
distractedly, her feet being troubled by the cold.
It was just half past five, and coldish for an August morning. Dorothy
(her name was Dorothy Hare, and she was the only child of the Reverend
Charles Hare, Rector of St. Athelstan’s, Knype Hill, Suffolk) put on her
aged flannelette dressing-gown and felt her way downstairs. There was a
chill morning smell of dust, damp plaster and the fried dabs from
yesterday’s supper, and from either side of the passage on the second
floor she could hear the antiphonal snoring of her father and of Ellen,
the maid of all work. With care—for the kitchen table had a nasty trick
of reaching out of the darkness and banging you on the hip-bone—Dorothy
felt her way into the kitchen, lighted the candle on the mantelpiece,
and, still aching with fatigue, knelt down and raked the ashes out of
the range.
The kitchen fire was a “beast” to light. The chimney was crooked and
therefore perpetually half choked, and the fire, before it would light,
expected to be dosed with a cupful of kerosene, like a drunkard’s
morning nip of gin. Having set the kettle to boil for her father’s
shaving-water, Dorothy went upstairs and turned on her bath. Ellen was
still snoring, with heavy youthful snores. She was a good hardworking
servant once she was awake, but she was one of those girls whom the
Devil and all his angels cannot get out of bed before seven in the
morning.
Dorothy filled the bath as slowly as possible—the splashing always woke
her father if she turned on the tap too fast—and stood for a moment
regarding the pale, unappetising pool of water. Her body had gone
goose-flesh all over. She detested cold baths; it was for that very
reason that she made it a rule to take all her baths cold from April to
November. Putting a tentative hand into the water—and it was horribly
cold—she drove herself forward with her usual exhortations. Come on,
Dorothy! In you go! No funking, please! Then she stepped resolutely into
the bath, sat down and let the icy girdle of water slide up her body and
immerse her all except her hair, which she had twisted up behind her
head. The next moment she came to the surface gasping and wriggling, and
had no sooner got her breath back than she remembered her “memo list,”
which she had brought down in her dressing-gown pocket and intended to
read. She reached out for it, and, leaning over the side of the bath,
waist deep in icy water, read through the “memo list” by the light of
the candle on the chair.
It ran:
7 oc. H.C.
Mrs T baby? Must visit.
Breakfast. Bacon. Must ask father money. (P)
Ask Ellen what stuff kitchen father’s tonic NB. to ask about
stuff for curtains at Solepipe’s.
Visiting call on Mrs P cutting from Daily M angelica tea good
for rheumatism Mrs L’s corn-plaster.
12 oc. Rehearsal Charles I. NB. to order ½lb. glue 1 pot
aluminium paint.
Dinner [crossed out] Luncheon . . .?
Take round Parish Mag NB. Mrs F owes 3/6_d._
4.30 pm Mothers’ U tea don’t forget 2½ yards casement cloth.
Flowers for church NB. 1 tin Brasso.
Supper. Scrambled eggs.
Type Father’s sermon what about new ribbon typewriter?
NB. to fork between peas bindweed awful.
Dorothy got out of her bath, and as she dried herself with a towel
hardly bigger than a table napkin—they could never afford decent-sized
towels at the Rectory—her hair came unpinned and fell down over her
collar-bones in two heavy strands. It was thick, fine, exceedingly pale
hair, and it was perhaps as well that her father had forbidden her to
bob it, for it was her only positive beauty. For the rest, she was a
girl of middle height, rather thin, but strong and shapely, and her face
was her weak point. It was a thin, blonde, unremarkable kind of face,
with pale eyes and a nose just a shade too long; if you looked closely
you could see crows’ feet round the eyes, and the mouth, when it was in
repose, looked tired. Not definitely a spinsterish face as yet, but it
certainly would be so in a few years’ time. Nevertheless, strangers
commonly took her to be several years younger than her real age (she was
not quite twenty-eight) because of the expression of almost childish
earnestness in her eyes. Her left forearm was spotted with tiny red
marks like insect bites.
Dorothy put on her nightdress again and cleaned her teeth—plain water,
of course; better not to use toothpaste before H.C. After all, either
you are fasting or you aren’t. The R.C.s are quite right there—and,
even as she did so, suddenly faltered and stopped. She put her
toothbrush down. A deadly pang, an actual physical pang, had gone
through her viscera.
She had remembered, with the ugly shock with which one remembers
something disagreeable for the first time in the morning, the bill at
Cargill’s, the butcher’s, which had been owing for seven months. That
dreadful bill—it might be nineteen pounds or even twenty, and there was
hardly the remotest hope of paying it—was one of the chief torments of
her life. At all hours of the night or day it was waiting just round the
corner of her consciousness, ready to spring upon her and agonise her;
and with it came the memory of a score of lesser bills, mounting up to a
figure of which she dared not even think. Almost involuntarily she began
to pray, “Please God, let not Cargill send in his bill again to-day!”
But the next moment she decided that this prayer was worldly and
blasphemous, and she asked forgiveness for it. Then she put on her
dressing-gown and ran down to the kitchen in hopes of putting the bill
out of mind.
The fire had gone out, as usual. Dorothy relaid it, dirtying her hands
with coal-dust, dosed it afresh with kerosene and hung about anxiously
until the kettle boiled. Father expected his shaving-water to be ready
at a quarter past six. Just seven minutes late, Dorothy took the can
upstairs and knocked at her father’s door.
“Come in, come in!” said a muffled, irritable voice.
The room, heavily curtained, was stuffy, with a masculine smell. The
Rector had lighted the candle on his bed-table, and was lying on his
side, looking at his gold watch, which he had just drawn from beneath
his pillow. His hair was as white and thick as thistledown. One dark
bright eye glanced irritably over his shoulder at Dorothy.
“Good morning, Father.”
“I do wish, Dorothy,” said the Rector indistinctly—his voice always
sounded muffled and senile until he had put his false teeth in—“you
would make some effort to get Ellen out of bed in the mornings. Or else
be a little more punctual yourself.”
“I’m so sorry, Father. The kitchen fire kept going out.”
“Very well! Put it down on the dressing-table. Put it down and draw
those curtains.”
It was daylight now, but a dull, clouded morning. Dorothy hastened up to
her room and dressed herself with the lightning speed which she found
necessary six mornings out of seven. There was only a tiny square of
mirror in the room, and even that she did not use. She simply hung her
gold cross about her neck—plain gold cross; no crucifixes,
please!—twisted her hair into a knot behind, stuck a number of hairpins
rather sketchily into it, and threw her clothes (grey jersey, threadbare
Irish tweed coat and skirt, stockings not quite matching the coat and
skirt, and much-worn brown shoes) on to herself in the space of about
three minutes. She had got to “do out” the dining-room and her father’s
study before church, besides saying her prayers in preparation for Holy
Communion, which took her not less than twenty minutes.
When she wheeled her bicycle out at the front gate the morning was still
overcast, and the grass sodden with heavy dew. Through the mist that
wreathed the hillside St. Athelstan’s Church loomed dimly, like a leaden
sphinx, its single bell tolling funereally boom! boom! boom! Only one of
the bells was now in active use; the other seven had been unswung from
their cage and had lain silent these three years past, slowly
splintering the floor of the belfry beneath their weight. In the
distance, from the mists below, you could hear the offensive clatter of
the bell in the R.C. church—a nasty, cheap, tinny little thing which
the Rector of St. Athelstan’s used to compare to a muffin-bell.
Dorothy mounted her bicycle and rode swiftly up the hill, leaning over
her handlebars. The bridge of her thin nose was pink in the morning
cold. A redshank whistled overhead, invisible against the clouded sky.
Early in the morning my song shall rise to Thee! Dorothy propped her
bicycle against the lychgate, and, finding her hands still grey with
coal-dust, knelt down and scrubbed them clean in the long wet grass
between the graves. Then the bell stopped ringing, and she jumped up and
hastened into church, just as Proggett, the sexton, in ragged cassock
and vast labourer’s boots, was clumping up the aisle to take his place
at the side altar.
The church was very cold, with a scent of candle-wax and ancient dust.
It was a large church, much too large for its congregation, and ruinous
and more than half empty. The three narrow islands of pews stretched
barely halfway down the nave, and beyond them were great wastes of bare
stone floor in which a few worn inscriptions marked the sites of ancient
graves. The roof over the chancel was sagging visibly; beside the Church
Expenses box two fragments of riddled beam explained mutely that this
was due to that mortal foe of Christendom, the death-watch beetle. The
light filtered, pale-coloured, through windows of anæmic glass. Through
the open south door you could see a ragged cypress and the boughs of a
lime-tree, greyish in the sunless air and swaying faintly.
As usual, there was only one other communicant—old Miss Mayfill, of The
Grange. The attendance at Holy Communion was so bad that the Rector
could not even get any boys to serve him, except on Sunday mornings,
when the boys like showing off in front of the congregation in their
cassocks and surplices. Dorothy went into the pew behind Miss Mayfill,
and, in penance for some sin of yesterday, pushed away the hassock and
knelt on the bare stones. The service was beginning. The Rector, in
cassock and short linen surplice, was reciting the prayers in a swift
practised voice, clear enough now that his teeth were in, and curiously
ungenial. In his fastidious, aged face, pale as a silver coin, there was
an expression of aloofness, almost of contempt. “This is a valid
sacrament,” he seemed to be saying, “and it is my duty to administer it
to you. But remember that I am only your priest, not your friend. As a
human being I dislike you and despise you.” Proggett, the sexton, a man
of forty with curly grey hair and a red, harassed face, stood patiently
by, uncomprehending but reverent, fiddling with the little communion
bell which was lost in his huge red hands.
Dorothy pressed her fingers against her eyes. She had not yet succeeded
in concentrating her thoughts—indeed, the memory of Cargill’s bill was
still worrying her intermittently. The prayers, which she knew by heart,
were flowing through her head unheeded. She raised her eyes for a
moment, and they began immediately to stray. First upwards, to the
headless roof-angels on whose necks you could still see the saw-cuts of
the Puritan soldiers, then back again, to Miss Mayfill’s black,
quasi-pork-pie hat and tremulous jet earrings. Miss Mayfill wore a long
musty black overcoat, with a little collar of greasy-looking astrakhan,
which had been the same ever since Dorothy could remember. It was of
some very peculiar stuff, like watered silk but coarser, with rivulets
of black piping wandering all over it in no discoverable pattern. It
might even have been that legendary and proverbial substance, black
bombazine. Miss Mayfill was very old, so old that no one remembered her
as anything but an old woman. A faint scent radiated from her—an
ethereal scent, analysable as eau-de-Cologne, mothballs and a
sub-flavour of gin.
Dorothy drew a long glass-headed pin from the lapel of her coat, and
furtively, under cover of Miss Mayfill’s back, pressed the point against
her forearm. Her flesh tingled apprehensively. She made it a rule,
whenever she caught herself not attending to her prayers, to prick her
arm hard enough to make blood come. It was her chosen form of
self-discipline, her guard against irreverence and sacrilegious
thoughts.
With the pin poised in readiness she managed for several moments to pray
more collectedly. Her father had turned one dark eye disapprovingly upon
Miss Mayfill, who was crossing herself at intervals, a practice he
disliked. A starling chattered outside. With a shock Dorothy discovered
that she was looking vaingloriously at the pleats of her father’s
surplice, which she herself had sewn two years ago. She set her teeth
and drove the pin an eighth of an inch into her arm.
They were kneeling again. It was the General Confession. Dorothy
recalled her eyes—wandering, alas! yet again, this time to the
stained-glass window on her right, designed by Sir Warde Tooke, A.R.A.,
in 1851, and representing St. Athelstan’s welcome at the gate of Heaven
by Gabriel and a legion of angels all remarkably like one another and
the Prince Consort—and pressed the pinpoint against a different part of
her arm. She began to meditate conscientiously upon the meaning of each
phrase of the prayer, and so brought her mind back to a more attentive
state. But even so she was all but obliged to use the pin again when
Proggett tinkled the bell in the middle of “Therefore with Angels and
Archangels”—being visited, as always, by a dreadful temptation to begin
laughing at that passage. It was because of a story her father had told
her once, of how when he was a little boy, and serving the priest at the
altar, the communion bell had had a screw-on clapper, which had come
loose; and so the priest had said: “Therefore with Angels and
Archangels, and with all the company of Heaven, we laud and magnify Thy
glorious name; evermore praising Thee, and saying, Screw it up, you
little fat-head screw it up!”
As the Rector finished the consecration Miss Mayfill began to struggle
to her feet with extreme difficulty and slowness, like some disjointed
wooden creature picking itself up by sections, and disengaging at each
movement a powerful whiff of mothballs. There was an extraordinary
creaking sound—from her stays, presumably, but it was a noise as of
bones grating against one another. You could have imagined that there
was only a dry skeleton inside the black overcoat.
Dorothy remained on her feet a moment longer. Miss Mayfill was creeping
towards the altar with slow, tottering steps. She could barely walk, but
she took bitter offence if you offered to help her. In her ancient,
bloodless face her mouth was surprisingly large, loose and wet. The
under lip, pendulous with age, slobbered forward, exposing a strip of
gum and a row of false teeth as yellow as the keys of an old piano. On
the upper lip was a fringe of dark, dewy moustache. It was not an
appetising mouth; not the kind of mouth that you would like to see
drinking out of your cup. Suddenly, spontaneously, as though the Devil
himself had put it there, the prayer slipped from Dorothy’s lips: “O
God, let me not have to take the chalice after Miss Mayfill!”
The next moment, in self-horror, she grasped the meaning of what she had
said, and wished that she had bitten her tongue in two rather than utter
that deadly blasphemy upon the very altar steps. She drew the pin again
from her lapel and drove it into her arm so hard that it was all she
could do to suppress a cry of pain. Then she stepped to the altar and
knelt down meekly on Miss Mayfill’s left, so as to make quite sure of
taking the chalice after her.
Kneeling, with head bent and hands clasped against her knees, she set
herself swiftly to pray for forgiveness before her father should reach
her with the wafer. But the current of her thoughts had been broken.
Suddenly it was quite useless attempting to pray; her lips moved, but
there was neither heart nor meaning in her prayers. She could hear
Proggett’s boots shuffling and her father’s clear low voice murmuring
“Take and eat,” she could see the worn strip of red carpet beneath her
knees, she could smell dust and eau-de-Cologne and mothballs; but of the
Body and Blood of Christ, of the purpose for which she had come here,
she was as though deprived of the power to think. A deadly blankness had
descended upon her mind. It seemed to her that actually she could not
pray. She struggled, collected her thoughts, uttered mechanically the
opening phrases of a prayer; but they were useless, meaningless—nothing
but the dead shells of words. Her father was holding the wafer before
her in his shapely, aged hand. He held it between finger and thumb,
fastidiously, somehow distastefully, as though it had been a spoon of
medicine. His eye was upon Miss Mayfill, who was doubling herself up
like a geometrid caterpillar, with many creakings, and crossing herself
so elaborately that one might have imagined that she was sketching a
series of braid frogs on the front of her coat. For several seconds
Dorothy hesitated and did not take the wafer. She dared not take it.
Better, far better to step down from the altar than to accept the
sacrament with such chaos in her heart!
Then it happened that she glanced sidelong, through the open south door.
A momentary spear of sunlight had pierced the clouds. It struck
downwards through the leaves of the limes, and a spray of leaves in the
doorway gleamed with a transient, matchless green, greener than jade or
emerald or Atlantic waters. It was as though some jewel of unimaginable
splendour had flashed for an instant, filling the doorway with green
light, and then faded. A flood of joy ran through Dorothy’s heart. The
flash of living colour had brought back to her, by a process deeper than
reason, her peace of mind, her love of God, her power of worship.
Somehow, because of the greenness of the leaves, it was again possible
to pray. O all ye green things upon the earth, praise ye the Lord! She
began to pray, ardently, joyfully, thankfully. The wafer melted upon her
tongue. She took the chalice from her father, and tasted without
repulsion, even with an added joy in this small act of self-abasement,
the wet imprint of Miss Mayfill’s lips on its silver rim.
§II
St. Athelstan’s Church stood at the highest point of Knype Hill, and if
you chose to climb the tower you could see ten miles or so across the
surrounding country. Not that there was anything worth looking at—only
the low, barely undulating East Anglian landscape, intolerably dull in
summer, but redeemed in winter by the recurring pattern of the elms,
naked and fan-shaped against leaden skies.
Immediately below you lay the town, with the High Street running east
and west and dividing it unequally. The southern section of the town was
the ancient, agricultural and respectable section. On the northern side
were the buildings of the Blifil-Gordon sugar-beet refinery, and all
round and leading up to them were higgledy-piggledly rows of vile yellow
brick cottages, mostly inhabited by the employees of the factory. The
factory employees, who made up more than half of the town’s two thousand
inhabitants, were newcomers, townfolk, and godless almost to a man.
The two pivots, or foci, about which the social life of the town moved
were the Knype Hill Conservative Club (fully licensed), from whose bow
window, any time after the bar was open, the large, rosy-gilled faces of
the town’s élite were to be seen gazing like chubby goldfish from an
aquarium pane; and Ye Olde Tea Shoppe, a little farther down the High
Street, the principal rendezvous of the Knype Hill ladies. Not to be
present at Ye Olde Tea Shoppe between ten and eleven every morning, to
drink your “morning coffee” and spend your half-hour or so in that
agreeable twitter of upper-middle-class voices (“My dear, he had nine
spades to the ace-queen and he went one no trump, if you please. What,
my dear, you don’t mean to say you’re paying for my coffee again? Oh,
but, my dear, it is simply too sweet of you! Now to-morrow I shall
simply insist upon paying for yours. And just look at dear little
Toto sitting up and looking such a clever little man with his little
black nose wiggling, and he would, would he, the darling duck, he would,
he would, and his mother would give him a lump of sugar, she would, she
would. There, Toto!”), was to be definitely out of Knype Hill society.
The Rector in his acid way nicknamed these ladies “the coffee brigade.”
Close to the colony of sham-picturesque villas inhabited by the coffee
brigade, but cut off from them by its larger grounds, was The Grange,
Miss Mayfill’s house. It was a curious, machicolated, imitation castle
of dark red brick—somebody’s Folly, built about 1870—and fortunately
almost hidden among dense shrubberies.
The Rectory stood half way up the hill, with its face to the church and
its back to the High Street. It was a house of the wrong age,
inconveniently large, and faced with chronically peeling yellow plaster.
Some earlier Rector had added, at one side, a large greenhouse which
Dorothy used as a workroom, but which was constantly out of repair. The
front garden was choked with ragged fir-trees and a great spreading ash
which shadowed the front rooms and made it impossible to grow any
flowers. There was a large vegetable garden at the back. Proggett did
the heavy digging of the garden in the spring and autumn, and Dorothy
did the sowing, planting and weeding in such spare time as she could
command; in spite of which the vegetable garden was usually an
impenetrable jungle of weeds.
Dorothy jumped off her bicycle at the front gate, upon which some
officious person had stuck a poster inscribed “Vote for Blifil-Gordon
and Higher Wages!” (There was a by-election going on, and Mr.
Blifil-Gordon was standing in the Conservative interest.) As Dorothy
opened the front door she saw two letters lying on the worn coco-nut
mat. One was from the Rural Dean, and the other was a nasty,
thin-looking letter from Catkin & Palm, her father’s clerical tailors.
It was a bill, undoubtedly. The Rector had followed his usual practice
of collecting the letters that interested him and leaving the others.
Dorothy was just bending down to pick up the letters, when she saw, with
a horrid shock of dismay, an unstamped envelope sticking in the
letter-flap.
It was a bill—for certain it was a bill! Moreover, as soon as she set
eyes on it she “knew” that it was that horrible bill from Cargill’s, the
butcher’s. A sinking feeling passed through her entrails. For a moment
she actually began to pray that it might not be Cargill’s bill—that it
might only be the bill for three and nine from Solepipe’s, the draper’s,
or the bill from the International or the baker’s or the dairy—anything
except Cargill’s bill! Then, mastering her panic, she took the envelope
from the letter-flap and tore it open with a convulsive movement.
“To account rendered: £21 7_s_. 9_d_.”
This was written in the innocuous handwriting of Mr. Cargill’s
accountant. But underneath, in thick, accusing-looking letters, was
added and heavily underlined: “Shd. like to bring to your notice that
this bill has been owing a very long time. The earliest possible
settlement will oblige. S. CARGILL.”
Dorothy had turned a shade paler, and was conscious of not wanting any
breakfast. She thrust the bill into her pocket and went into the
dining-room. It was a smallish, dark room, badly in need of repapering,
and, like every other room in the Rectory, it had the air of having been
furnished from the sweepings of an antique shop. The furniture was
“good,” but battered beyond repair, and the chairs were so worm-eaten
that you could only sit on them in safety if you knew their individual
foibles. There were old, dark, defaced steel engravings hanging on the
walls, one of them—an engraving of Van Dyck’s portrait of Charles
I—probably of some value if it had not been ruined by damp.
The Rector was standing before the empty grate, warming himself at an
imaginary fire and reading a letter that came from a long blue envelope.
He was still wearing his cassock of black watered silk, which set off to
perfection his thick white hair and his pale, fine, none too amiable
face. As Dorothy came in he laid the letter aside, drew out his gold
watch and scrutinised it significantly.
“I’m afraid I’m a bit late, Father.”
“Yes, Dorothy, you are a bit late,” said the Rector, repeating her
words with delicate but marked emphasis. “You are twelve minutes late,
to be exact. Don’t you think, Dorothy, that when I have to get up at a
quarter past six to celebrate Holy Communion, and come home exceedingly
tired and hungry, it would be better if you could manage to come to
breakfast without being a bit late?”
It was clear that the Rector was in what Dorothy called,
euphemistically, his “uncomfortable mood.” He had one of those weary,
cultivated voices which are never definitely angry and never anywhere
near good humour—one of those voices which seem all the while to be
saying, “I really cannot see what you are making all this fuss about!”
The impression he gave was of suffering perpetually from other people’s
stupidity and tiresomeness.
“I’m so sorry, Father! I simply had to go and ask after Mrs. Tawney.”
(Mrs. Tawney was the “Mrs T” of the “memo list.”) “Her baby was born
last night, and you know she promised me she’d come and be churched
after it was born. But of course she won’t if she thinks we aren’t
taking any interest in her. You know what these women are—they seem so
to hate being churched. They’ll never come unless I coax them into it.”
The Rector did not actually grunt, but he uttered a small dissatisfied
sound as he moved towards the breakfast table. It was intended to mean,
first, that it was Mrs. Tawney’s duty to come and be churched without
Dorothy’s coaxing; secondly, that Dorothy had no business to waste her
time visiting all the riff-raff of the town, especially before
breakfast. Mrs. Tawney was a labourer’s wife and lived in partibus
infidelium, north of the High Street. The Rector laid his hand on the
back of his chair, and, without speaking, cast Dorothy a glance which
meant: “Are we ready now? Or are there to be any more delays?”
“I think everything’s here, Father,” said Dorothy. “Perhaps if you’d
just say grace——”
“Benedictus benedicat,” said the Rector, lifting the worn silver
coverlet off the breakfast dish. The silver coverlet, like the
silver-gilt marmalade spoon, was a family heirloom; the knives and
forks, and most of the crockery, came from Woolworths. “Bacon again, I
see,” the Rector added, eyeing the three minute rashers that lay curled
up on squares of fried bread.
“It’s all we’ve got in the house, I’m afraid,” Dorothy said.
The Rector picked up his fork between finger and thumb, and with a very
delicate movement, as though playing at spillikins, turned one of the
rashers over.
“I know, of course,” he said, “that bacon for breakfast is an English
institution almost as old as parliamentary government. But still, don’t
you think we might occasionally have change, Dorothy?”
“Bacon’s so cheap now,” said Dorothy regretfully. “It seems a sin not to
buy it. This was only fivepence a pound, and I saw some quite
decent-looking bacon as low as threepence.”
“Ah, Danish, I suppose? What a variety of Danish invasions we have had
in this country! First with fire and sword, and now with their
abominable cheap bacon. Which has been responsible for the more deaths,
I wonder?”
Feeling a little better after this witticism, the Rector settled himself
in his chair and made a fairly good breakfast off the despised bacon,
while Dorothy (she was not having any bacon this morning—a penance she
had set herself yesterday for saying “Damn” and idling for half an hour
after lunch) meditated upon a good conversational opening.
There was an unspeakably hateful job in front of her—a demand for
money. At the very best of times getting money out of her father was
next door to impossible, and it was obvious that this morning he was
going to be even more “difficult” than usual. “Difficult” was another of
her euphemisms. He’s had bad news, I suppose, she thought despondently,
looking at the blue envelope.
Probably no one who had ever spoken to the Rector for as long as ten
minutes would have denied that he was a “difficult” kind of man. The
secret of his almost unfailing ill humour really lay in the fact that he
was an anachronism. He ought never to have been born into the modern
world; its whole atmosphere disgusted and infuriated him. A couple of
centuries earlier, a happy pluralist writing poems or collecting fossils
while curates at £40 a year administered his parishes, he would have
been perfectly at home. Even now, if he had been a richer man, he might
have consoled himself by shutting the twentieth century out of his
consciousness. But to live in past ages is very expensive; you can’t do
it on less than two thousand a year. The Rector, tethered by his poverty
to the age of Lenin and the Daily Mail, was kept in a state of chronic
exasperation which it was only natural that he should work off on the
person nearest to him—usually, that is, on Dorothy.
He had been born in 1871, the younger son of the younger son of a
baronet, and had gone into the Church for the out-moded reason that the
Church is the traditional profession for younger sons. His first cure
had been in a large, slummy parish in East London—a nasty, hooliganish
place it had been, and he looked back on it with loathing. Even in those
days the lower classes (as he made a point of calling them) were getting
decidedly out of hand. It was a little better when he was
curate-in-charge at some remote place in Kent (Dorothy had been born in
Kent), where the decently downtrodden villagers still touched their hats
to “parson.” But by that time he had married, and his marriage had been
diabolically unhappy; moreover, because clergymen must not quarrel with
their wives, its unhappiness had been secret and therefore ten times
worse. He had come to Knype Hill in 1908, aged thirty-seven and with a
temper incurably soured—a temper which had ended by alienating every
man, woman and child in the parish.
It was not that he was a bad priest, merely as a priest. In his purely
clerical duties he was scrupulously correct—perhaps a little too
correct for a Low Church East Anglian parish. He conducted his services
with perfect taste, preached admirable sermons and got up at
uncomfortable hours of the morning to celebrate Holy Communion every
Wednesday and Friday. But that a clergyman has any duties outside the
four walls of the church was a thing that had never seriously occurred
to him. Unable to afford a curate, he left the dirty work of the parish
entirely to his wife, and after her death (she died in 1921) to Dorothy.
People used to say, spitefully and untruly, that he would have let
Dorothy preach his sermons for him if it had been possible. The “lower
classes” had grasped from the first what was his attitude towards them,
and if he had been a rich man they would probably have licked his boots,
according to their custom; as it was, they merely hated him. Not that he
cared whether they hated him or not, for he was largely unaware of their
existence. But even with the upper classes he had got on no better. With
the County he had quarrelled one by one, and as for the petty gentry of
the town, as the grandson of a baronet he despised them, and was at no
pains to hide it. In twenty-three years he had succeeded in reducing the
congregation of St. Athelstan’s from six hundred to something under two
hundred.
This was not solely due to personal reasons. It was also because the
old-fashioned High Anglicanism to which the Rector obstinately clung was
of a kind to annoy all parties in the parish about equally. Nowadays, a
clergyman who wants to keep his congregation has only two courses open
to him. Either it must be Anglo-Catholicism pure and simple—or rather,
pure and not simple; or he must be daringly modern and broad-minded and
preach comforting sermons proving that there is no Hell and all good
religions are the same. The Rector did neither. On the one hand, he had
the deepest contempt for the Anglo-Catholic movement. It had passed over
his head, leaving him absolutely untouched; “Roman Fever” was his name
for it. On the other hand, he was too “High” for the older members of
his congregation. From time to time he scared them almost out of their
wits by the use of the fatal word “Catholic,” not only in its sanctified
place in the Creeds, but also from the pulpit. Naturally the
congregation dwindled year by year, and it was the Best People who were
the first to go. Lord Pockthorne of Pockthorne Court, who owned a fifth
of the county, Mr. Leavis, the retired leather merchant, Sir Edward
Huson of Crabtree Hall, and such of the petty gentry as owned
motor-cars, had all deserted St. Athelstan’s. Most of them drove over on
Sunday mornings to Millborough, five miles away. Millborough was a town
of five thousand inhabitants, and you had your choice of two churches,
St. Edmund’s and St. Wedekind’s. St. Edmund’s was Modernist—text from
Blake’s “Jerusalem” blazoned over the altar, and communion wine out of
liqueur glasses—and St. Wedekind’s was Anglo-Catholic and in a state of
perpetual guerrilla warfare with the Bishop. But Mr. Cameron, the
secretary of the Knype Hill Conservative Club, was a Roman Catholic
convert, and his children were in the thick of the Roman Catholic
literary movement. They were said to have a parrot which they were
teaching to say “Extra ecclesiam nulla salus.” In effect, no one of any
standing remained true to St. Athelstan’s, except Miss Mayfill, of The
Grange. Most of Miss Mayfill’s money was bequeathed to the Church—so
she said; meanwhile, she had never been known to put more than sixpence
in the collection bag, and she seemed likely to go on living for ever.
The first ten minutes of breakfast passed in complete silence. Dorothy
was trying to summon up courage to speak—obviously she had got to start
some kind of conversation before raising the money-question—but her
father was not an easy man with whom to make small talk. At times he
would fall into such deep fits of abstraction that you could hardly get
him to listen to you; at other times he was all too attentive, listened
carefully to what you said and then pointed out, rather wearily, that it
was not worth saying. Polite platitudes—the weather, and so
forth—generally moved him to sarcasm. Nevertheless, Dorothy decided to
try the weather first.
“It’s a funny kind of day, isn’t it?” she said—aware, even as she made
it, of the inanity of this remark.
“What is funny?” enquired the Rector.
“Well, I mean, it was so cold and misty this morning, and now the sun’s
come out and it’s turned quite fine.”
“Is there anything particularly funny about that?”
That was no good, obviously. He must have had bad news, she thought.
She tried again.
“I do wish you’d come out and have a look at the things in the back
garden some time, Father. The runner beans are doing so splendidly! The
pods are going to be over a foot long. I’m going to keep all the best of
them for the Harvest Festival, of course. I thought it would look so
nice if we decorated the pulpit with festoons of runner beans and a few
tomatoes hanging in among them.”
This was a faux pas. The Rector looked up from his plate with an
expression of profound distaste.
“My dear Dorothy,” he said sharply, “is it necessary to begin worrying
me about the Harvest Festival already?”
“I’m sorry, Father!” said Dorothy, disconcerted. “I didn’t mean to worry
you. I just thought——”
“Do you suppose,” proceeded the Rector, “it is any pleasure to me to
have to preach my sermon among festoons of runner beans? I am not a
greengrocer. It quite puts me off my breakfast to think of it. When is
the wretched thing due to happen?”
“It’s September the sixteenth, Father.”
“That’s nearly a month hence. For Heaven’s sake let me forget it a
little longer! I suppose we must have this ridiculous business once a
year to tickle the vanity of every amateur gardener in the parish. But
don’t let’s think of it more than is absolutely necessary.”
The Rector had, as Dorothy ought to have remembered a perfect abhorrence
of Harvest Festivals. He had even lost a valuable parishioner—a Mr.
Toagis, a surly retired market gardener—through his dislike, as he
said, of seeing his church dressed up to imitate a coster’s stall. Mr.
Toagis, anima naturaliter Nonconformistica, had been kept “Church”
solely by the privilege, at Harvest Festival time, of decorating the
side altar with a sort of Stonehenge composed of gigantic vegetable
marrows. The previous summer he had succeeded in growing a perfect
leviathan of a pumpkin, a fiery red thing so enormous that it took two
men to lift it. This monstrous object had been placed in the chancel,
where it dwarfed the altar and took all the colour out of the east
window. In no matter what part of the church you were standing, the
pumpkin, as the saying goes, hit you in the eye. Mr. Toagis was in
raptures. He hung about the church at all hours, unable to tear himself
away from his adored pumpkin, and even bringing relays of friends in to
admire it. From the expression of his face you would have thought that
he was quoting Wordsworth on Westminster Bridge:
Earth has not any thing to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty!
Dorothy even had hopes, after this, of getting him to come to Holy
Communion. But when the Rector saw the pumpkin he was seriously angry,
and ordered “that revolting thing” to be removed at once. Mr. Toagis had
instantly “gone chapel,” and he and his heirs were lost to the Church
for ever.
Dorothy decided to make one final attempt at conversation.
“We’re getting on with the costumes for Charles the First,” she said.
(The Church School children were rehearsing a play entitled Charles I,
in aid of the organ fund.) “But I do wish we’d chosen something a bit
easier. The armour is a dreadful job to make, and I’m afraid the
jackboots are going to be worse. I think next time we must really have a
Roman or Greek play. Something where they only have to wear togas.”
This elicited only another muted grunt from the Rector. School plays,
pageants, bazaars, jumble sales and concerts in aid of were not quite so
bad in his eyes as Harvest Festivals, but he did not pretend to be
interested in them. They were necessary evils, he used to say. At this
moment Ellen, the maidservant, pushed open the door and came gauchely
into the room with one large, scaly hand holding her sacking apron
against her belly. She was a tall, round-shouldered girl with
mouse-coloured hair, a plaintive voice and a bad complexion, and she
suffered chronically from eczema. Her eyes flitted apprehensively
towards the Rector, but she addressed herself to Dorothy, for she was
too much afraid of the Rector to speak to him directly.
“Please, Miss——” she began.
“Yes, Ellen?”
“Please, Miss,” went on Ellen plaintively, “Mr. Porter’s in the kitchen,
and he says, please could the Rector come round and baptise Mrs.
Porter’s baby? Because they don’t think as it’s going to live the day
out, and it ain’t been baptised yet, Miss.”
Dorothy stood up. “Sit down,” said the Rector promptly, with his mouth
full.
“What do they think is the matter with the baby?” said Dorothy.
“Well, Miss, it’s turning quite black. And it’s had the diarrhoea
something cruel.”
The Rector emptied his mouth with an effort. “Must I have these
disgusting details while I am eating my breakfast?” he exclaimed. He
turned on Ellen: “Send Porter about his business and tell him I’ll be
round at his house at twelve o’clock. I really cannot think why it is
that the lower classes always seem to choose meal-times to come
pestering one,” he added, casting another irritated glance at Dorothy as
she sat down.
Mr. Porter was a labouring man—a bricklayer, to be exact. The Rector’s
views on baptism were entirely sound. If it had been urgently necessary
he would have walked twenty miles through snow to baptise a dying baby.
But he did not like to see Dorothy proposing to leave the breakfast
table at the call of a common bricklayer.
There was no further conversation during breakfast. Dorothy’s heart was
sinking lower and lower. The demand for money had got to be made, and
yet it was perfectly obvious that it was foredoomed to failure. His
breakfast finished, the Rector got up from the table and began to fill
his pipe from the tobacco-jar on the mantelpiece. Dorothy uttered a
short prayer for courage, and then pinched herself. Go on, Dorothy! Out
with it! No funking, please! With an effort she mastered her voice and
said:
“Father——”
“What is it?” said the Rector, pausing with the match in his hand.
“Father, I’ve something I want to ask you. Something important.”
The expression of the Rector’s face changed. He had divined instantly
what she was going to say; and, curiously enough, he now looked less
irritable than before. A stony calm had settled upon his face. He looked
like a rather exceptionally aloof and unhelpful sphinx.
“Now, my dear Dorothy, I know very well what you are going to say. I
suppose you are going to ask me for money again. Is that it?”
“Yes, Father. Because——”
“Well, I may as well save you the trouble. I have no money at
all—absolutely no money at all until next quarter. You have had your
allowance, and I can’t give you a halfpenny more. It’s quite useless to
come worrying me now.”
“But, Father——!”
Dorothy’s heart sank yet lower. What was worst of all when she came to
him for money was the terrible, unhelpful calmness of his attitude. He
was never so unmoved as when you were reminding him that he was up to
his eyes in debt. Apparently he could not understand that tradesmen
occasionally want to be paid, and that no house can be kept going
without an adequate supply of money. He allowed Dorothy eighteen pounds
a month for all the household expenses, including Ellen’s wages, and at
the same time he was “dainty” about his food and instantly detected any
falling off in its quality. The result was, of course, that the
household was perennially in debt. But the Rector paid not the smallest
attention to his debts—indeed, he was hardly even aware of them. When
he lost money over an investment, he was deeply agitated; but as for a
debt to a mere tradesman—well, it was the kind of thing that he simply
could not bother his head about.
A peaceful plume of smoke floated upwards from the Rector’s pipe. He was
gazing with a meditative eye at the steel engraving of Charles I, and
had probably forgotten already about Dorothy’s demand for money. Seeing
him so unconcerned, a pang of desperation went through Dorothy, and her
courage came back to her. She said more sharply than before:
“Father, please listen to me! I must have some money soon! I simply
must! We can’t go on as we’re doing. We owe money to nearly every
tradesman in the town. It’s got so that some mornings I can hardly bear
to go down the street and think of all the bills that are owing. Do you
know that we owe Cargill nearly twenty-two pounds?”
“What of it?” said the Rector between puffs of smoke.
“But the bill’s been mounting up for over seven months! He’s sent it in
over and over again. We must pay it! It’s so unfair to him to keep him
waiting for his money like that!”
“Nonsense, my dear child! These people expect to be kept waiting for
their money. They like it. It brings them more in the end. Goodness
knows how much I owe to Catkin & Palm—I should hardly care to enquire.
They are dunning me by every post. But you don’t hear me complaining,
do you?”
“But, Father, I can’t look at it as you do, I can’t! It’s so dreadful to
be always in debt! Even if it isn’t actually wrong, it’s so hateful.
It makes me so ashamed! When I go into Cargill’s shop to order the
joint, he speaks to me so shortly and makes me wait after the other
customers, all because our bill’s mounting up the whole time. And yet I
daren’t stop ordering from him. I believe he’d run us in if I did.”
The Rector frowned. “What! Do you mean to say the fellow has been
impertinent to you?”
“I didn’t say he’d been impertinent, Father. But you can’t blame him if
he’s angry when his bill’s not paid.”
“I most certainly can blame him! It is simply abominable how these
people take it upon themselves to behave nowadays—abominable! But there
you are, you see. That is the kind of thing that we are exposed to in
this delightful century. That is democracy—progress, as they are
pleased to call it. Don’t order from the fellow again. Tell him at once
that you are taking your account elsewhere. That’s the only way to treat
these people.”
“But, Father, that doesn’t settle anything. Really and truly, don’t you
think we ought to pay him? Surely we can get hold of the money somehow?
Couldn’t you sell out some shares, or something?”
“My dear child, don’t talk to me about selling out shares! I have just
had the most disagreeable news from my broker. He tells me that my
Sumatra Tin shares have dropped from seven and fourpence to six and a
penny. It means a loss of nearly sixty pounds. I am telling him to sell
out at once before they drop any further.”
“Then if you sell out you’ll have some ready money, won’t you? Don’t you
think it would be better to get out of debt once and for all?”
“Nonsense, nonsense,” said the Rector more calmly, putting his pipe back
in his mouth. “You know nothing whatever about these matters. I shall
have to reinvest at once in something more hopeful—it’s the only way of
getting my money back.”
With one thumb in the belt of his cassock he frowned abstractedly at the
steel engraving. His broker had advised United Celanese. Here—in
Sumatra Tin, United Celanese and numberless other remote and dimly
imagined companies—was the central cause of the Rector’s money
troubles. He was an inveterate gambler. Not, of course, that he thought
of it as gambling; it was merely a lifelong search for a “good
investment.” On coming of age he had inherited four thousand pounds,
which had gradually dwindled, thanks to his “investments,” to about
twelve hundred. What was worse, every year he managed to scrape
together, out of his miserable income, another fifty pounds which
vanished by the same road. It is a curious fact that the lure of a “good
investment” seems to haunt clergymen more persistently than any other
class of man. Perhaps it is the modern equivalent of the demons in
female shape who used to haunt the anchorites of the Dark Ages.
“I shall buy five hundred United Celanese,” said the Rector finally.
Dorothy began to give up hope. Her father was now thinking of his
“investments” (she knew nothing whatever about these “investments,”
except that they went wrong with phenomenal regularity), and in another
moment the question of the shop-debts would have slipped entirely out of
his mind. She made a final effort.
“Father, let’s get this settled, please. Do you think you’ll be able to
let me have some extra money fairly soon? Not this moment, perhaps—but
in the next month or two?”
“No, my dear, I don’t. About Christmas time, possibly—it’s very
unlikely even then. But for the present, certainly not. I haven’t a
halfpenny I can spare.”
“But, Father, it’s so horrible to feel we can’t pay our debts! It
disgraces us so! Last time Mr. Welwyn-Foster was here [Mr. Welwyn-Foster
was the Rural Dean], Mrs. Welwyn-Foster was going all round the town
asking everyone the most personal questions about us—asking how we
spent our time, and how much money we had, and how many tons of coal we
used in a year, and everything. She’s always trying to pry into our
affairs. Suppose she found out that we were badly in debt!”
“Surely it is our own business? I fail entirely to see what it has to do
with Mrs. Welwyn-Foster or anyone else.”
“But she’d repeat it all over the place—and she’d exaggerate it too!
You know what Mrs. Welwyn-Foster is. In every parish she goes to she
tries to find out something disgraceful about the clergyman, and then
she repeats every word of it to the Bishop. I don’t want to be
uncharitable about her, but really she——”
Realising that she did want to be uncharitable, Dorothy was silent.
“She is a detestable woman,” said the Rector evenly. “What of it? Who
ever heard of a Rural Dean’s wife who wasn’t detestable?”
“But, Father, I don’t seem to be able to get you to see how serious
things are! We’ve simply nothing to live on for the next month. I don’t
even know where the meat’s coming from for to-day’s dinner.”
“Luncheon, Dorothy, luncheon!” said the Rector with a touch of
irritation. “I do wish you would drop that abominable lower-class habit
of calling the midday meal dinner!”
“For luncheon, then. Where are we to get the meat from? I daren’t ask
Cargill for another joint.”
“Go to the other butcher—what’s his name? Salter—and take no notice of
Cargill. He knows he’ll be paid sooner or later. Good gracious, I don’t
know what all this fuss is about! Doesn’t everyone owe money to his
tradesmen? I distinctly remember”—the Rector straightened his shoulders
a little, and, putting his pipe back into his mouth, looked into the
distance; his voice became reminiscent and perceptibly more
agreeable—“I distinctly remember that when I was up at Oxford, my
father had still not paid some of his own Oxford bills of thirty years
earlier. Tom [Tom was the Rector’s cousin, the baronet] Tom owed seven
thousand before he came into his money. He told me so himself.”
At that, Dorothy’s last hope vanished. When her father began to talk
about his cousin Tom, and about things that had happened “when I was up
at Oxford,” there was nothing more to be done with him. It meant that he
had slipped into an imaginary golden past in which such vulgar things as
butchers’ bills simply did not exist. There were long periods together
when he seemed actually to forget that he was only a poverty-stricken
country Rector—that he was not a young man of family with estates and
reversions at his back. The aristocratic, the expensive attitude was the
one that in all circumstances came the most naturally to him. And of
course while he lived, not uncomfortably, in the world of his
imagination, it was Dorothy who had to fight the tradesmen and make the
leg of mutton last from Sunday to Wednesday. But she knew the complete
uselessness of arguing with him any longer. It would only end in making
him angry. She got up from the table and began to pile the breakfast
things on to the tray.
“You’re absolutely certain you can’t let me have any money, Father?” she
said for the last time, at the door, with the tray in her arms.
The Rector, gazing into the middle distance, amid comfortable wreaths of
smoke, did not hear her. He was thinking, perhaps, of his golden Oxford
days. Dorothy went out of the room distressed almost to the point of
tears. The miserable question of the debts was once more shelved, as it
had been shelved a thousand times before, with no prospect of final
solution.
§III
On her elderly bicycle with the basketwork carrier on the handle-bars,
Dorothy free-wheeled down the hill, doing mental arithmetic with three
pounds nineteen and fourpence—her entire stock of money until next
quarter-day.
She had been through the list of things that were needed in the kitchen.
But indeed, was there anything that was not needed in the kitchen?
Tea, coffee, soap, matches, candles, sugar, lentils, firewood, soda,
lamp oil, boot polish, margarine, baking powder—there seemed to be
practically nothing that they were not running short of. And at every
moment some fresh item that she had forgotten popped up and dismayed
her. The laundry bill, for example, and the fact that the coal was
running short, and the question of the fish for Friday. The Rector was
“difficult” about fish. Roughly speaking, he would only eat the more
expensive kinds; cod, whiting, sprats, skate, herrings and kippers he
refused.
Meanwhile, she had got to settle about the meat for to-day’s
dinner—luncheon. (Dorothy was careful to obey her father and call it
luncheon, when she remembered it. On the other hand, you could not in
honesty call the evening meal anything but “supper”; so there was no
such meal as “dinner” at the Rectory.) Better make an omelette for
luncheon to-day, Dorothy decided. She dared not go to Cargill again.
Though, of course, if they had an omelette for luncheon and then
scrambled eggs for supper, her father would probably be sarcastic about
it. Last time they had had eggs twice in one day, he had enquired
coldly, “Have you started a chicken farm, Dorothy?” And perhaps tomorrow
she would get two pounds of sausages at the International, and that
staved off the meat-question for one day more.
Thirty-nine further days, with only three pounds nineteen and fourpence
to provide for them, loomed up in Dorothy’s imagination, sending through
her a wave of self-pity which she checked almost instantly. Now then,
Dorothy! No snivelling, please! It all comes right somehow if you trust
in God. Matthew vi. 25. The Lord will provide. Will He? Dorothy removed
her right hand from the handle-bar and felt for the glass-headed pin,
but the blasphemous thought faded. At this moment she became aware of
the gloomy red face of Proggett, who was hailing her respectfully but
urgently from the side of the road.
Dorothy stopped and got off her bicycle.
“Beg pardon, Miss,” said Proggett. “I been wanting to speak to you,
Miss—partic’lar.”
Dorothy sighed inwardly. When Proggett wanted to speak to you
partic’lar, you could be perfectly certain what was coming; it was
some piece of alarming news about the condition of the church. Proggett
was a pessimistic, conscientious man, and a very loyal churchman, after
his fashion. Too dim of intellect to have any definite religious
beliefs, he showed his piety by an intense solicitude about the state of
the church buildings. He had decided long ago that the Church of Christ
meant the actual walls, roof and tower of St. Athelstan’s, Knype Hill,
and he would poke round the church at all hours of the day, gloomily
noting a cracked stone here, a worm-eaten beam there—and afterwards, of
course, coming to harass Dorothy with demands for repairs which would
cost impossible sums of money.
“What is it, Proggett?” said Dorothy.
“Well, Miss, it’s they——” —here a peculiar, imperfect sound, not a
word exactly, but the ghost of a word, all but formed itself on
Proggett’s lips. It seemed to begin with a B. Proggett was one of those
men who are for ever on the verge of swearing, but who always recapture
the oath just as it is escaping between their teeth. “It’s they bells,
Miss,” he said, getting rid of the B sound with an effort. “They bells
up in the church tower. They’re a-splintering through that there belfry
floor in a way as it makes you fair shudder to look at ’em. We’ll have
’em down atop of us before we know where we are. I was up the belfry
’smorning, and I tell you I come down faster’n I went up, when I saw how
that there floor’s a-busting underneath ’em.”
Proggett came to complain about the condition of the bells not less than
once in a fortnight. It was now three years that they had been lying on
the floor of the belfry, because the cost of either reswinging or
removing them was estimated at twenty-five pounds, which might as well
have been twenty-five thousand for all the chance there was of paying
it. They were really almost as dangerous as Proggett made out. It was
quite certain that, if not this year or next year, at any rate at some
time in the near future, they would fall through the belfry floor into
the church porch. And, as Proggett was fond of pointing out, it would
probably happen on a Sunday morning just as the congregation were coming
into church.
Dorothy sighed again. Those wretched bells were never out of mind for
long; there were times when the thought of their falling even got into
her dreams. There was always some trouble or other at the church. If it
was not the belfry, then it was the roof or the walls; or it was a
broken pew which the carpenter wanted ten shillings to mend; or it was
seven hymn-books needed at one and sixpence each, or the flue of the
stove choked up—and the sweep’s fee was half a crown—or a smashed
window-pane or the choirboys’ cassocks in rags. There was never enough
money for anything. The new organ which the Rector had insisted on
buying five years earlier—the old one, he said, reminded him of a cow
with the asthma—was a burden under which the Church Expenses fund had
been staggering ever since.
“I don’t know what we can do,” said Dorothy finally; “I really don’t.
We’ve simply no money at all. And even if we do make anything out of the
school-children’s play, it’s all got to go to the organ fund. The organ
people are really getting quite nasty about their bill. Have you spoken
to my father?”
“Yes, Miss. He don’t make nothing of it. ‘Belfry’s held up five hundred
years,’ he says; ‘we can trust it to hold up a few years longer.’”
This was quite according to precedent. The fact that the church was
visibly collapsing over his head made no impression on the Rector; he
simply ignored it, as he ignored anything else that he did not wish to
be worried about.
“Well, I don’t know what we can do,” Dorothy repeated. “Of course
there’s the jumble sale coming off the week after next. I’m counting on
Miss Mayfill to give us something really nice for the jumble sale. I
know she could afford to. She’s got such lots of furniture and things
that she never uses. I was in her house the other day, and I saw a most
beautiful Lowestoft china tea service which was put away in a cupboard,
and she told me it hadn’t been used for over twenty years. Just suppose
she gave us that tea service! It would fetch pounds and pounds. We must
just pray that the jumble sale will be a success Proggett. Pray that
it’ll bring us five pounds at least. I’m sure we shall get the money
somehow if we really and truly pray for it.”
“Yes, Miss,” said Proggett respectfully, and shifted his gaze to the far
distance.
At this moment a horn hooted and a vast, gleaming blue car came very
slowly down the road, making for the High Street. Out of one window Mr.
Blifil-Gordon, the proprietor of the sugar-beet refinery, was thrusting
a sleek black head which went remarkably ill with his suit of
sandy-coloured Harris tweed. As he passed, instead of ignoring Dorothy
as usual, he flashed upon her a smile so warm that it was almost
amorous. With him were his eldest son Ralph—or, as he and the rest of
the family pronounced it, Walph—an epicene youth of twenty, given to
the writing of sub-Eliot vers libre poems, and Lord Pockthorne’s two
daughters. They were all smiling, even Lord Pockthorne’s daughters.
Dorothy was astonished, for it was several years since any of these
people had deigned to recognise her in the street.
“Mr. Blifil-Gordon is very friendly this morning,” she said.
“Aye, Miss. I’ll be bound he is. It’s the election coming on next week,
that’s what ’tis. All honey and butter they are till they’ve made sure
as you’ll vote for them; and then they’ve forgot your very face the day
afterwards.”
“Oh, the election!” said Dorothy vaguely. So remote were such things as
parliamentary elections from the daily round of parish work that she was
virtually unaware of them—hardly, indeed, even knowing the difference
between Liberal and Conservative or Socialist and Communist. “Well,
Proggett,” she said, immediately forgetting the election in favour of
something more important, “I’ll speak to Father and tell him how serious
it is about the bells. I think perhaps the best thing we can do will be
to get up a special subscription, just for the bells alone. There’s no
knowing, we might make five pounds. We might even make ten pounds! Don’t
you think if I went to Miss Mayfill and asked her to start the
subscription with five pounds, she might give it to us?”
“You take my word, Miss, and don’t you let Miss Mayfill hear nothing
about it. It’d scare the life out of her. If she thought as that tower
wasn’t safe; we’d never get her inside that church again.”
“Oh dear! I suppose not.”
“No, Miss. We shan’t get nothing out of her; the old ——”
A ghostly B floated once more across Proggett’s lips. His mind a little
more at rest now that he had delivered his fortnightly report upon the
bells, he touched his cap and departed, while Dorothy rode on into the
High Street, with the twin problems of the shop-debts and the Church
Expenses pursuing one another through her mind like the twin refrains of
a villanelle.
The still watery sun, now playing hide-and-seek, April-wise, among
woolly islets of cloud, sent an oblique beam down the High Street,
gilding the house-fronts of the northern side. It was one of those
sleepy, old-fashioned streets that look so ideally peaceful on a casual
visit and so very different when you live in them and have an enemy or a
creditor behind every window. The only definitely offensive buildings
were Ye Olde Tea Shoppe (plaster front with sham beams nailed on to it,
bottle-glass windows and revolting curly roof like that of a Chinese
joss-house), and the new, Doric-pillared post office. After about two
hundred yards the High Street forked, forming a tiny market-place,
adorned with a pump, now defunct, and a worm-eaten pair of stocks. On
either side of the pump stood the Dog and Bottle, the principal inn of
the town, and the Knype Hill Conservative Club. At the end, commanding
the street, stood Cargill’s dreaded shop.
Dorothy came round the corner to a terrific din of cheering, mingled
with the strains of “Rule Britannia” played on the trombone. The
normally sleepy street was black with people, and more people were
hurrying from all the side-streets. Evidently a sort of triumphal
procession was taking place. Right across the street, from the roof of
the Dog and Bottle to the roof of the Conservative Club, hung a line
with innumerable blue streamers, and in the middle a vast banner
inscribed “Blifil-Gordon and the Empire!” Towards this, between the
lanes of people, the Blifil-Gordon car was moving at a foot-pace, with
Mr. Blifil-Gordon smiling richly, first to one side, then to the other.
In front of the car marched a detachment of the Buffaloes, headed by an
earnest-looking little man playing the trombone, and carrying among them
another banner inscribed:
“Who’ll save Britain from the Reds?
BLIFIL-GORDON!
Who’ll put the Beer back into your Pot?
BLIFIL-GORDON!
Blifil-Gordon for ever!”
From the window of the Conservative Club floated an enormous Union Jack,
above which six scarlet faces were beaming enthusiastically.
Dorothy wheeled her bicycle slowly down the street, too much agitated by
the prospect of passing Cargill’s shop (she had got to pass it, to get
to Solepipe’s) to take much notice of the procession. The Blifil-Gordon
car had halted for a moment outside Ye Olde Tea Shoppe. Forward, the
coffee brigade! Half the ladies of the town seemed to be hurrying forth,
with lapdogs or shopping baskets on their arms, to cluster about the car
like Bacchantes about the car of the vine-god. After all, an election is
practically the only time when you get a chance of exchanging smiles
with the County. There were eager feminine cries of “Good luck, Mr.
Blifil-Gordon! Dear Mr. Blifil-Gordon! We do hope you’ll get in, Mr.
Blifil-Gordon!” Mr. Blifil-Gordon’s largesse of smiles was unceasing,
but carefully graded. To the populace he gave a diffused, general smile,
not resting on individuals; to the coffee-ladies and the six scarlet
patriots of the Conservative Club he gave one smile each; to the most
favoured of all, young Walph gave an occasional wave of the hand and a
squeaky “Cheewio!”
Dorothy’s heart tightened. She had seen that Mr. Cargill, like the rest
of the shopkeepers, was standing on his doorstep. He was a tall,
evil-looking man, in blue-striped apron, with a lean, scraped face as
purple as one of his own joints of meat that had lain a little too long
in the window. So fascinated were Dorothy’s eyes by that ominous figure
that she did not look where she was going, and bumped into a very large,
stout man who was stepping off the pavement backwards.
The stout man turned round. “Good Heavens! It’s Dorothy!” he exclaimed.
“Why, Mr. Warburton! How extraordinary! Do you know, I had a feeling I
was going to meet you to-day.”
“By the pricking of your thumbs, I presume?” said Mr. Warburton, beaming
all over a large, pink, Micawberish face. “And how are you? But by
Jove!” he added, “what need is there to ask? You look more bewitching
than ever.”
He pinched Dorothy’s bare elbow—she had changed, after breakfast, into
a sleeveless gingham frock. Dorothy stepped hurriedly backwards to get
out of his reach—she hated being pinched or otherwise “mauled
about”—and said rather severely:
“Please don’t pinch my elbow. I don’t like it.”
“My dear Dorothy, who could resist an elbow like yours? It’s the sort of
elbow one pinches automatically. A reflex action, if you understand me.”
“When did you get back to Knype Hill?” said Dorothy, who had put her
bicycle between Mr. Warburton and herself. “It’s over two months since
I’ve seen you.”
“I got back the day before yesterday. But this is only a flying visit.
I’m off again to-morrow. I’m taking the kids to Brittany. The
bastards, you know.”
Mr. Warburton pronounced the word bastards, at which Dorothy looked
away in discomfort, with a touch of naïve pride. He and his “bastards”
(he had three of them) were one of the chief scandals of Knype Hill. He
was a man of independent income, calling himself a painter—he produced
about half a dozen mediocre landscapes every year—and he had come to
Knype Hill two years earlier and bought one of the new villas behind the
Rectory. There he had lived, or rather stayed periodically, in open
concubinage with a woman whom he called his housekeeper. Four months ago
this woman—she was a foreigner, a Spaniard it was said—had created a
fresh and worse scandal by abruptly deserting him, and his three
children were now parked with some long-suffering relative in London. In
appearance he was a fine, imposing-looking man, though entirely bald (he
was at great pains to conceal this), and he carried himself with such a
rakish air as to give the impression that his fairly sizeable belly was
merely a kind of annexe to his chest. His age was forty-eight, and he
owned to forty-four. People in the town said that he was a “proper old
rascal”; young girls were afraid of him, not without reason.
Mr. Warburton had laid his hand pseudo-paternally on Dorothy’s shoulder
and was shepherding her through the crowd, talking all the while almost
without a pause. The Blifil-Gordon car, having rounded the pump, was now
wending its way back, still accompanied by its troupe of middle-aged
Bacchantes. Mr. Warburton, his attention caught, paused to scrutinise
it.
“What is the meaning of these disgusting antics?” he asked.
“Oh, they’re—what is it they call it?—electioneering. Trying to get us
to vote for them, I suppose.”
“Trying to get us to vote for them! Good God!” murmured Mr. Warburton,
as he eyed the triumphal cortège. He raised the large, silver-headed
cane that he always carried, and pointed, rather expressively, first at
one figure in the procession and then at another. “Look at it! Just look
at it! Look at those fawning hags, and that half-witted oaf grinning at
us like a monkey that sees a bag of nuts. Did you ever see such a
disgusting spectacle?”
“Do be careful!” Dorothy murmured. “Somebody’s sure to hear you.”
“Good!” said Mr. Warburton, immedately raising his voice. “And to think
that that low-born hound actually has the impertinence to think that
he’s pleasing us with the sight of his false teeth! And that suit he’s
wearing is an offence in itself. Is there a Socialist candidate? If so,
I shall certainly vote for him.”
Several people on the pavement turned and stared. Dorothy saw little Mr.
Twiss, the ironmonger, a weazened, leather-coloured old man, peering
with veiled malevolence round the corner of the rush baskets that hung
in his doorway. He had caught the word Socialist, and was mentally
registering Mr. Warburton as a Socialist and Dorothy as the friend of
Socialists.
“I really must be getting on,” said Dorothy hastily, feeling that she
had better escape before Mr. Warburton said something even more
tactless. “I’ve got ever such a lot of shopping to do. I’ll say good-bye
for the present, then.”
“Oh, no, you won’t!” said Mr. Warburton cheerfully. “Not a bit of it!
I’ll come with you.”
As she wheeled her bicycle down the street he marched at her side, still
talking, with his large chest well forward and his stick tucked under
his arm. He was a difficult man to shake off, and though Dorothy counted
him as a friend, she did sometimes wish, he being the town scandal and
she the Rector’s daughter, that he would not always choose the most
public places to talk to her in. At this moment, however, she was rather
grateful for his company, which made it appreciably easier to pass
Cargill’s shop—for Cargill was still on his doorstep and was regarding
her with a sidelong, meaning gaze.
“It was a bit of luck my meeting you this morning,” Mr. Warburton went
on. “In fact, I was looking for you. Who do you think I’ve got coming to
dinner with me to-night? Bewley—Ronald Bewley. You’ve heard of him, of
course?”
“Ronald Bewley? No, I don’t think so. Who is he?”
“Why, dash it! Ronald Bewley, the novelist. Author of _Fishpools and
Concubines_. Surely you’ve read Fishpools and Concubines?”
“No, I’m afraid I haven’t. In fact, I’d never even heard of it.”
“My dear Dorothy! You have been neglecting yourself. You certainly
ought to read Fishpools and Concubines. It’s hot stuff, I assure
you—real high-class pornography. Just the kind of thing you need to
take the taste of the Girl Guides out of your mouth.”
“I do wish you wouldn’t say such things!” said Dorothy, looking away
uncomfortably, and then immediately looking back again because she had
all but caught Cargill’s eye. “Where does this Mr. Bewley live?” she
added. “Not here, surely, does he?”
“No. He’s coming over from Ipswich for dinner, and perhaps to stay the
night. That’s why I was looking for you. I thought you might like to
meet him. How about your coming to dinner to-night?”
“I can’t possibly come to dinner,” said Dorothy. “I’ve got Father’s
supper to see to, and thousands of other things. I shan’t be free till
eight o’clock or after.”
“Well, come along after dinner, then. I’d like you to know Bewley. He’s
an interesting fellow—very au fait with all the Bloomsbury scandal, and
all that. You’ll enjoy meeting him. It’ll do you good to escape from the
church hen-coop for a few hours.”
Dorothy hesitated. She was tempted. To tell the truth, she enjoyed her
occasional visits to Mr. Warburton’s house extremely. But of course they
were very occasional—once in three or four months at the oftenest; it
so obviously didn’t do to associate too freely with such a man. And
even when she did go to his house she was careful to make sure
beforehand that there was going to be at least one other visitor.
Two years earlier, when Mr. Warburton had first come to Knype Hill (at
that time he was posing as a widower with two children; a little later,
however, the housekeeper suddenly gave birth to a third child in the
middle of the night), Dorothy had met him at a tea-party and afterwards
called on him. Mr. Warburton had given her a delightful tea, talked
amusingly about books, and then, immediately after tea, sat down beside
her on the sofa and begun making love to her, violently, outrageously,
even brutally. It was practically an assault. Dorothy was horrified
almost out of her wits, though not too horrified to resist. She escaped
from him and took refuge on the other side of the sofa, white, shaking
and almost in tears. Mr. Warburton, on the other hand, was quite
unashamed and even seemed rather amused.
“Oh, how could you, how could you?” she sobbed.
“But it appears that I couldn’t,” said Mr. Warburton.
“Oh, but how could you be such a brute?”
“Oh, that? Easily, my child, easily. You will understand that when you
get to my age.”
In spite of this bad beginning, a sort of friendship had grown up
between the two, even to the extent of Dorothy being “talked about” in
connection with Mr. Warburton. It did not take much to get you “talked
about” in Knype Hill. She only saw him at long intervals and took the
greatest care never to be alone with him, but even so he found
opportunities of making casual love to her. But it was done in a
gentlemanly fashion; the previous disagreeable incident was not
repeated. Afterwards, when he was forgiven, Mr. Warburton had explained
that he “always tried it on” with every presentable woman he met.
“Don’t you get rather a lot of snubs?” Dorothy could not help asking
him.
“Oh, certainly. But I get quite a number of successes as well, you
know.”
People wondered sometimes how such a girl as Dorothy could consort, even
occasionally, with such a man as Mr. Warburton; but the hold that he had
over her was the hold that the blasphemer and evil-liver always has over
the pious. It is a fact—you have only to look about you to verify
it—that the pious and the immoral drift naturally together. The best
brothel-scenes in literature have been written, without exception, by
pious believers or pious unbelievers. And of course Dorothy, born into
the twentieth century, made a point of listening to Mr. Warburton’s
blasphemies as calmly as possible; it is fatal to flatter the wicked by
letting them see that you are shocked by them. Besides, she was
genuinely fond of him. He teased her and distressed her, and yet she got
from him, without being fully aware of it, a species of sympathy and
understanding which she could not get elsewhere. For all his vices he
was distinctly likeable, and the shoddy brilliance of his
conversation—Oscar Wilde seven times watered—which she was too
inexperienced to see through, fascinated while it shocked her. Perhaps,
too, in this instance, the prospect of meeting the celebrated Mr. Bewley
had its effect upon her; though certainly Fishpools and Concubines
sounded like the kind of book that she either didn’t read or else set
herself heavy penances for reading. In London, no doubt, one would
hardly cross the road to see fifty novelists; but these things appear
differently in places like Knype Hill.
“Are you sure Mr. Bewley is coming?” she said.
“Quite sure. And his wife’s coming as well, I believe. Full chaperonage.
No Tarquin and Lucrece business this evening.”
“All right,” said Dorothy finally; “thanks very much. I’ll come
round—about half past eight, I expect.”
“Good. If you can manage to come while it is still daylight, so much the
better. Remember that Mrs. Semprill is my next-door neighbour. We can
count on her to be on the qui vive any time after sundown.”
Mrs. Semprill was the town scandalmonger—the most eminent, that is, of
the town’s many scandalmongers. Having got what he wanted (he was
constantly pestering Dorothy to come to his house more often), Mr.
Warburton said au revoir and left Dorothy to do the remainder of her
shopping.
In the semi-gloom of Solepipe’s shop, she was just moving away from the
counter with her two and a half yards of casement cloth, when she was
aware of a low, mournful voice at her ear. It was Mrs. Semprill. She was
a slender woman of forty, with a lank, sallow, distinguished face,
which, with her glossy dark hair and air of settled melancholy, gave her
something the appearance of a Van Dyck portrait. Entrenched behind a
pile of cretonnes near the window, she had been watching Dorothy’s
conversation with Mr. Warburton. Whenever you were doing something that
you did not particularly want Mrs. Semprill to see you doing, you could
trust her to be somewhere in the neighbourhood. She seemed to have the
power of materialising like an Arabian jinneeyeh at any place where she
was not wanted. No indiscretion, however small, escaped her vigilance.
Mr. Warburton used to say that she was like the four beasts of the
Apocalypse—“They are full of eyes, you remember, and they rest not
night nor day.”
“Dorothy dearest,” murmured Mrs. Semprill in the sorrowful,
affectionate voice of someone breaking a piece of bad news as gently as
possible. “I’ve been so wanting to speak to you. I’ve something simply
dreadful to tell you—something that will really horrify you!”
“What is it?” said Dorothy resignedly, well knowing what was coming—for
Mrs. Semprill had only one subject of conversation.
They moved out of the shop and began to walk down the street, Dorothy
wheeling her bicycle, Mrs. Semprill mincing at her side with a delicate
birdlike step and bringing her mouth closer and closer to Dorothy’s ear
as her remarks grew more and more intimate.
“Do you happen to have noticed,” she began, “that girl who sits at the
end of the pew nearest the organ in church? A rather pretty girl, with
red hair. I’ve no idea what her name is,” added Mrs. Semprill, who knew
the surname and all the Christian names of every man, woman and child in
Knype Hill.
“Molly Freeman,” said Dorothy. “She’s the niece of Freeman the
greengrocer.”
“Oh, Molly Freeman? Is that her name? I’d often wondered. Well ——”
The delicate red mouth came closer, the mournful voice sank to a shocked
whisper. Mrs. Semprill began to pour forth a stream of purulent libel
involving Molly Freeman and six young men who worked at the sugarbeet
refinery. After a few moments the story became so outrageous that
Dorothy, who had turned very pink, hurriedly withdrew her ear from Mrs.
Semprill’s whispering lips. She stopped her bicycle.
“I won’t listen to such things!” she said abruptly. “I know that isn’t
true about Molly Freeman. It can’t be true! She’s such a nice quiet
girl—she was one of my very best Girl Guides, and she’s always been so
good about helping with the church bazaars and everything. I’m perfectly
certain she wouldn’t do such things as you’re saying.”
“But, Dorothy dearest! When, as I told you, I actually saw with my own
eyes . . .”
“I don’t care! It’s not fair to say such things about people. Even if
they were true it wouldn’t be right to repeat them. There’s quite enough
evil in the world without going about looking for it.”
“Looking for it!” sighed Mrs. Semprill. “But, my dear Dorothy, as
though one ever wanted or needed to look! The trouble is that one
can’t help seeing all the dreadful wickedness that goes on in this
town.”
Mrs. Semprill was always genuinely astonished if you accused her of
looking for subjects for scandal. Nothing, she would protest, pained
her more than the spectacle of human wickedness; but it was constantly
forced upon her unwilling eyes, and only a stern sense of duty impelled
her to make it public. Dorothy’s remark, so far from silencing her,
merely set her talking about the general corruption of Knype Hill, of
which Molly Freeman’s misbehaviour was only one example. And so from
Molly Freeman and her six young men she proceeded to Dr. Gaythorne, the
town medical officer, who had got two of the nurses at the Cottage
Hospital with child, and then to Mrs. Corn, the Town Clerk’s wife, found
lying in a field dead drunk on eau-de-Cologne, and then to the curate at
St. Wedekind’s in Millborough, who had involved himself in a grave
scandal with a choirboy; and so it went on, one thing leading to
another. For there was hardly a soul in the town or the surrounding
country about whom Mrs. Semprill could not disclose some festering
secret if you listened to her long enough.
It was noticeable that her stories were not only dirty and libellous,
but that they had nearly always some monstrous tinge of perversion about
them. Compared with the ordinary scandalmongers of a country town, she
was as Freud to Boccaccio. From hearing her talk you would have gathered
the impression that Knype Hill with its two thousand inhabitants held
more of the refinements of evil than Sodom, Gomorrah and Buenos Ayres
put together. Indeed, when you reflected upon the lives led by the
inhabitants of this latter-day City of the Plain—from the manager of
the local bank squandering his client’s money on the children of his
second and bigamous marriage, to the barmaid of the Dog and Bottle
serving drinks in the taproom dressed only in high-heeled satin
slippers, and from old Miss Channon, the music-teacher, with her secret
gin-bottle and her anonymous letters, to Maggie White, the baker’s
daughter, who had borne three children to her own brother—when you
considered these people, all, young and old, rich and poor, sunken in
monstrous and Babylonian vices, you wondered that fire did not come down
from Heaven and consume the town forthwith. But if you listened just a
little longer, the catalogue of obscenities became first monotonous and
then unbearably dull. For in a town in which everyone is either a
bigamist, a pederast or a drug-taker, the worst scandal loses its sting.
In fact, Mrs. Semprill was something worse even than a slanderer; she
was a bore.
As to the extent to which her stories were believed, it varied. At times
the word would go round that she was a foul-mouthed old cat and
everything she said was a pack of lies; at other times one of her
accusations would take effect on some unfortunate person, who would need
months or even years to live it down. She had certainly been
instrumental in breaking off not less than half a dozen engagements and
starting innumerable quarrels between husbands and wives.
All this while Dorothy had been making abortive efforts to shake Mrs.
Semprill off. She had edged her way gradually across the street until
she was wheeling her bicycle along the right-hand kerb; but Mrs.
Semprill had followed, whispering without cease. It was not until they
reached the end of the High Street that Dorothy summoned up enough
firmness to escape. She halted and put her right foot on the pedal of
her bicycle.
“I really can’t stop a moment longer,” she said. “I’ve got a thousand
things to do, and I’m late already.”
“Oh, but, Dorothy dear! I’ve something else I simply must tell
you—something most important!”
“I’m sorry—I’m in such a terrible hurry. Another time, perhaps.”
“It’s about that dreadful Mr. Warburton,” said Mrs. Semprill hastily,
lest Dorothy should escape without hearing it. “He’s just come back from
London, and do you know—I most particularly wanted to tell you
this—do you know, he actually ——”
But here Dorothy saw that she must make off instantly, at no matter what
cost. She could imagine nothing more uncomfortable than to have to
discuss Mr. Warburton with Mrs. Semprill. She mounted her bicycle, and
with only a very brief “Sorry—I really can’t stop!” began to ride
hurriedly away.
“I wanted to tell you—he’s taken up with a new woman!” Mrs. Sempill
cried after her, even forgetting to whisper in her eagerness to pass on
this juicy titbit.
But Dorothy rode swiftly round the corner, not looking back, and
pretending not to have heard. An unwise thing to do, for it did not pay
to cut Mrs. Semprill too short. Any unwillingness to listen to her
scandals was taken as a sign of depravity, and led to fresh and worse
scandals being published about yourself the moment you had left her.
As Dorothy rode homewards she had uncharitable thoughts about Mrs.
Semprill, for which she duly pinched herself. Also, there was another,
rather disturbing idea which had not occurred to her till this
moment—that Mrs. Semprill would certainly learn of her visit to Mr.
Warburton’s house this evening, and would probably have magnified it
into something scandalous by to-morrow. The thought sent a vague
premonition of evil through Dorothy’s mind as she jumped off her bicycle
at the Rectory gate, where Silly Jack, the town idiot, a third-grade
moron with a triangular scarlet face like a strawberry, was loitering,
vacantly flogging the gatepost with a hazel switch.
§IV
It was a little after eleven. The day, which, like some overripe but
hopeful widow playing at seventeen, had been putting on unseasonable
April airs, had now remembered that it was August and settled down to be
broiling hot.
Dorothy rode into the hamlet of Fennelwick, a mile out of Knype Hill.
She had delivered Mrs. Lewin’s corn-plaster, and was dropping in to give
old Mrs. Pither that cutting from the Daily Mail about angelica tea
for rheumatism. The sun, burning in the cloudless sky, scorched her back
through her gingham frock, and the dusty road quivered in the heat, and
the hot, flat meadows, over which even at this time of year numberless
larks chirruped tiresomely, were so green that it hurt your eyes to look
at them. It was the kind of day that is called “glorious” by people who
don’t have to work.
Dorothy leaned her bicycle against the gate of the Pithers’ cottage, and
took her handkerchief out of her bag and wiped her hands, which were
sweating from the handle-bars. In the harsh sunlight her face looked
pinched and colourless. She looked her age, and something over, at that
hour of the morning. Throughout her day—and in general it was a
seventeen-hour day—she had regular, alternating periods of tiredness
and energy; the middle of the morning, when she was doing the first
instalment of the day’s “visiting,” was one of the tired periods.
“Visiting,” because of the distances she had to bicycle from house to
house, took up nearly half of Dorothy’s day. Every day of her life,
except on Sundays, she made from half a dozen to a dozen visits at
parishioners’ cottages. She penetrated into cramped interiors and sat on
lumpy, dust-diffusing chairs gossiping with overworked, blowsy
housewives; she spent hurried half-hours giving a hand with the mending
and the ironing, and read chapters from the Gospels, and readjusted
bandages on “bad legs” and condoled with sufferers from
morning-sickness; she played ride a cock-horse with sour-smelling
children who grimed the bosom of her dress with their sticky little
fingers; she gave advice about ailing aspidistras, and suggested names
for babies, and drank “nice cups of tea” innumerable—for the working
women always wanted her to have a “nice cup of tea,” out of the teapot
endlessly stewing.
Much of it was profoundly discouraging work. Few, very few, of the women
seemed to have even a conception of the Christian life that she was
trying to help them to lead. Some of them were shy and suspicious, stood
on the defensive and made excuses when urged to come to Holy Communion;
some shammed piety for the sake of the tiny sums they could wheedle out
of the church alms box; those who welcomed her coming were for the most
part the talkative ones, who wanted an audience for complaints about the
“goings on” of their husbands, or for endless mortuary tales (“And he
had to have glass chubes let into his veins,” etc., etc.) about the
revolting diseases their relatives had died of. Quite half the women on
her list, Dorothy knew, were at heart atheistical in a vague unreasoning
way. She came up against it all day long—that vague, blank disbelief so
common in illiterate people, against which all argument is powerless. Do
what she would, she could never raise the number of regular communicants
to more than a dozen or thereabouts. Women would promise to communicate,
keep their promise for a month or two, and then fall away. With the
younger women it was especially hopeless. They would not even join the
local branches of the Church leagues that were run for their
benefit—Dorothy was honorary secretary of three such leagues, besides
being captain of the Girl Guides. The Band of Hope and the Companionship
of Marriage languished almost memberless, and the Mothers’ Union only
kept going because gossip and unlimited strong tea made the weekly
sewing-parties acceptable. Yes, it was discouraging work; so
discouraging that at times it would have seemed altogether futile if she
had not known the sense of futility for what it is—the subtlest weapon
of the Devil.
Dorothy knocked at the Pithers’ badly fitting door, from beneath which a
melancholy smell of boiled cabbage and dish-water was oozing. From long
experience she knew and could taste in advance the individual smell of
every cottage on her rounds. Some of their smells were peculiar in the
extreme. For instance, there was the salty, feral smell that haunted the
cottage of old Mr. Tombs, an aged retired bookseller who lay in bed all
day in a darkened room, with his long, dusty nose and pebble spectacles
protruding from what appeared to be a fur rug of vast size and richness.
But if you put your hand on the fur rug it disintegrated, burst and fled
in all directions. It was composed entirely of cats—twenty-four cats,
to be exact. Mr. Tombs “found they kept him warm,” he used to explain.
In nearly all the cottages there was a basic smell of old overcoats and
dish-water upon which the other, individual smells were superimposed;
the cesspool smell, the cabbage smell, the smell of children, the
strong, bacon-like reek of corduroys impregnated with the sweat of a
decade.
Mrs. Pither opened the door, which invariably stuck to the jamb, and
then, when you wrenched it open, shook the whole cottage. She was a
large, stooping, grey woman with wispy grey hair, a sacking apron and
shuffling carpet slippers.
“Why, if it isn’t Miss Dorothy!” she exclaimed in a dreary, lifeless but
not unaffectionate voice.
She took Dorothy between her large, gnarled hands, whose knuckles were
as shiny as skinned onions from age and ceaseless washing up, and gave
her a wet kiss. Then she drew her into the unclean interior of the
cottage.
“Pither’s away at work, Miss,” she announced as they got inside. “Up to
Dr. Gaythorne’s he is, a-digging over the doctor’s flower-beds for him.”
Mr. Pither was a jobbing gardener. He and his wife, both of them over
seventy, were one of the few genuinely pious couples on Dorothy’s
visiting-list. Mrs. Pither led a dreary, wormlike life of shuffling to
and fro, with a perpetual crick in her neck because the door lintels
were too low for her, between the well, the sink, the fireplace and the
tiny plot of kitchen garden. The kitchen was decently tidy, but
oppressively hot, evil-smelling and saturated with ancient dust. At the
end opposite the fireplace Mrs. Pither had made a kind of prie-dieu out
of a greasy rag mat laid in front of a tiny, defunct harmonium, on top
of which were an oleographed crucifixion, “Watch and Pray” done in
beadwork, and a photograph of Mr. and Mrs. Pither on their wedding day
in 1882.
“Poor Pither!” went on Mrs. Pither in her depressing voice, “him
a-digging at his age, with his rheumatism that bad! Ain’t it cruel
hard, Miss? And he’s had a kind of a pain between his legs, Miss, as he
can’t seem to account for—terrible bad he’s been with it, these last
few mornings. Ain’t it bitter hard, Miss, the lives us poor working
folks has to lead?”
“It’s a shame,” said Dorothy. “But I hope you’ve been keeping a little
better yourself, Mrs. Pither?”
“Ah, Miss, there’s nothing don’t make me better. I ain’t a case for
curing, not in this world, I ain’t. I shan’t never get no better, not
in this wicked world down here.”
“Oh, you mustn’t say that, Mrs. Pither! I hope we shall have you with us
for a long time yet.”
“Ah, Miss, you don’t know how poorly I’ve been this last week! I’ve had
the rheumatism a-coming and a-going all down the backs of my poor old
legs, till there’s some mornings when I don’t feel as I can’t walk not
so far as to pull a handful of onions in the garden. Ah, Miss, it’s a
weary world we lives in, ain’t it, Miss? A weary, sinful world.”
“But of course we must never forget, Mrs. Pither, that there’s a better
world coming. This life is only a time of trial—just to strengthen us
and teach us to be patient, so that we’ll be ready for Heaven when the
time comes.”
At this a sudden and remarkable change came over Mrs. Pither. It was
produced by the word “Heaven.” Mrs. Pither had only two subjects of
conversation; one of them was the joys of Heaven, and the other the
miseries of her present state. Dorothy’s remark seemed to act upon her
like a charm. Her dull grey eye was not capable of brightening, but her
voice quickened with an almost joyful enthusiasm.
“Ah, Miss, there you said it! That’s a true word, Miss! That’s what
Pither and me keeps a-saying to ourselves. And that’s just the one thing
as keeps us a-going—just the thought of Heaven and the long, long rest
we’ll have there. Whatever we’ve suffered, we gets it all back in
Heaven, don’t we, Miss? Every little bit of suffering, you gets it back
a hundredfold and a thousandfold. That is true, ain’t it, Miss? There’s
rest for us all in Heaven—rest and peace and no more rheumatism nor
digging nor cooking nor laundering nor nothing. You do believe that,
don’t you, Miss Dorothy?”
“Of course,” said Dorothy.
“Ah, Miss, if you knew how it comforts us—just the thoughts of Heaven!
Pither he says to me, when he comes home tired of a night and our
rheumatism’s bad, ‘Never you mind, my dear,’ he says, ‘we ain’t far off
from Heaven now,’ he says. ‘Heaven was made for the likes of us,’ he
says; ‘just for poor working folks like us, that have been sober and
godly and kept our Communions regular.’ That’s the best way, ain’t it,
Miss Dorothy—poor in this life and rich in the next? Not like some of
them rich folks as all their motor-cars and their beautiful houses won’t
save from the worm that dieth not and the fire that’s not quenched. Such
a beautiful text, that is. Do you think you could say a little prayer
with me, Miss Dorothy? I been looking forward all the morning to a
little prayer.”
Mrs. Pither was always ready for a “little prayer” at any hour of the
night or day. It was her equivalent to a “nice cup of tea.” They knelt
down on the rag mat and said the Lord’s Prayer and the Collect for the
week; and then Dorothy, at Mrs. Pither’s request, read the parable of
Dives and Lazarus, Mrs. Pither coming in from time to time with “Amen!
That’s a true word, ain’t it, Miss Dorothy? ‘And he was carried by
angels into Abraham’s bosom.’ Beautiful! Oh, I do call that just too
beautiful! Amen, Miss Dorothy—Amen!”
Dorothy gave Mrs. Pither the cutting from the Daily Mail about
angelica tea for rheumatism, and then, finding that Mrs. Pither had been
too “poorly” to draw the day’s supply of water, she drew three
bucketfuls for her from the well. It was a very deep well, with such a
low parapet that Mrs. Pither’s final doom would almost certainly be to
fall into it and get drowned, and it had not even a winch—you had to
haul the bucket up hand over hand. And then they sat down for a few
minutes, and Mrs. Pither talked some more about Heaven. It was
extraordinary how constantly Heaven reigned in her thoughts; and more
extraordinary yet was the actuality, the vividness with which she could
see it. The golden streets and the gates of orient pearl were as real to
her as though they had been actually before her eyes. And her vision
extended to the most concrete, the most earthly details. The softness of
the beds up there! The deliciousness of the food! The lovely silk
clothes that you would put on clean every morning! The surcease from
everlasting to everlasting from work of any description! In almost every
moment of her life the vision of Heaven supported and consoled her, and
her abject complaints about the lives of “poor working folks” were
curiously tempered by a satisfaction in the thought that, after all, it
is “poor working folks” who are the principal inhabitants of Heaven. It
was a sort of bargain that she had struck, setting her lifetime of
dreary labour against an eternity of bliss. Her faith was almost too
great, if that is possible. For it was a curious fact, but the certitude
with which Mrs. Pither looked forward to Heaven—as to some kind of
glorified home for incurables—affected Dorothy with strange uneasiness.
Dorothy prepared to depart, while Mrs. Pither thanked her, rather too
effusively, for her visit, winding up, as usual, with fresh complaints
about her rheumatism.
“I’ll be sure and take the angelica tea,” she concluded, “and thank you
kindly for telling me of it, Miss. Not as I don’t expect as it’ll do me
much good. Ah, Miss, if you knew how cruel bad my rheumatism’s been this
last week! All down the backs of my legs, it is, like a regular shooting
red-hot poker, and I don’t seem to be able to get at them to rub them
properly. Would it be asking too much of you, Miss, to give me a bit of
a rub-down before you go? I got a bottle of Elliman’s under the sink.”
Unseen by Mrs. Pither, Dorothy gave herself a severe pinch. She had been
expecting this, and—she had done it so many times before—she really
did not enjoy rubbing Mrs. Pither down. She exhorted herself angrily.
Come on, Dorothy! No sniffishness, please! John xiii. 14. “Of course I
will, Mrs. Pither!” she said instantly.
They went up the narrow, rickety staircase, in which you had to bend
almost double at one place to avoid the overhanging ceiling. The bedroom
was lighted by a tiny square of window that was jammed in its socket by
the creeper outside, and had not been opened in twenty years. There was
an enormous double bed that almost filled the room, with sheets
perennially damp and a flock mattress as full of hills and valleys as a
contour map of Switzerland. With many groans the old woman crept on to
the bed and laid herself face down. The room reeked of urine and
paregoric. Dorothy took the bottle of Elliman’s embrocation and
carefully anointed Mrs. Pither’s large, grey-veined, flaccid legs.
Outside, in the swimming heat, she mounted her bicycle and began to ride
swiftly homewards. The sun burned in her face, but the air now seemed
sweet and fresh. She was happy, happy! She was always extravagantly
happy when her morning’s “visiting” was over; and, curiously enough, she
was not aware of the reason for this. In Borlase the dairy-farmer’s
meadow the red cows were grazing, knee-deep in shining seas of grass.
The scent of cows, like a distillation of vanilla and fresh hay, floated
into Dorothy’s nostrils. Though she had still half a morning’s work in
front of her she could not resist the temptation to loiter for a moment,
steadying her bicycle with one hand against the gate of Borlase’s
meadow, while a cow, with moist shell-pink nose, scratched its chin upon
the gatepost and dreamily regarded her.
Dorothy caught sight of a wild rose, flowerless of course, growing
beyond the hedge, and climbed over the gate with the intention of
discovering whether it were not sweetbriar. She knelt down among the
tall weeds beneath the hedge. It was very hot down there, close to the
ground. The humming of many unseen insects sounded in her ears, and the
hot summery fume from the tangled swathes of vegetation flowed up and
enveloped her. Near by, tall stalks of fennel were growing, with
trailing fronds of foliage like the tails of sea-green horses. Dorothy
pulled a frond of the fennel against her face and breathed in the strong
sweet scent. Its richness overwhelmed her, almost dizzied her for a
moment. She drank it in, filling her lungs with it. Lovely, lovely
scent—scent of summer days, scent of childhood joys, scent of
spice-drenched islands in the warm foam of oriental seas!
Her heart swelled with sudden joy. It was that mystical joy in the
beauty of the earth and the very nature of things that she recognised,
perhaps mistakenly, as the love of God. As she knelt there in the heat,
the sweet odour and the drowsy hum of insects, it seemed to her that she
could momentarily hear the mighty anthem of praise that the earth and
all created things send up everlastingly to their maker. All vegetation,
leaves, flowers, grass, shining, vibrating, crying out in their joy.
Larks also chanting, choirs of larks invisible, dripping music from the
sky. All the riches of summer, the warmth of the earth, the song of
birds, the fume of cows, the droning of countless bees, mingling and
ascending like the smoke of ever-burning altars. Therefore with Angels
and Archangels! She began to pray, and for a moment she prayed ardently,
blissfully, forgetting herself in the joy of her worship. Then, less
than a minute later, she discovered that she was kissing the frond of
the fennel that was still against her face.
She checked herself instantly, and drew back. What was she doing? Was it
God that she was worshipping, or was it only the earth? The joy ebbed
out of her heart, to be succeeded by the cold, uncomfortable feeling
that she had been betrayed into a half-pagan ecstasy. She admonished
herself. None of that, Dorothy! No Nature-worship, please! Her father
had warned her against Nature-worship. She had heard him preach more
than one sermon against it; it was, he said, mere pantheism, and, what
seemed to offend him even more, a disgusting modern fad. Dorothy took a
thorn of the wild rose, and pricked her arm three times, to remind
herself of the Three Persons of the Trinity, before climbing over the
gate and remounting her bicycle.
A black, very dusty shovel hat was approaching round the corner of the
hedge. It was Father McGuire, the Roman Catholic priest, also bicycling
his rounds. He was a very large, rotund man, so large that he dwarfed
the bicycle beneath him and seemed to be balanced on top of it like a
golf-ball on a tee. His face was rosy, humorous and a little sly.
Dorothy looked suddenly unhappy. She turned pink, and her hand moved
instinctively to the neighbourhood of the gold cross beneath her dress.
Father McGuire was riding towards her with an untroubled, faintly amused
air. She made an endeavour to smile, and murmured unhappily, “Good
morning.” But he rode on without a sign; his eyes swept easily over her
face and then beyond her into vacancy, with, an admirable pretence of
not having noticed her existence. It was the Cut Direct. Dorothy—by
nature, alas! unequal to delivering the Cut Direct—got on to her
bicycle and rode away, struggling with the uncharitable thoughts which a
meeting with Father McGuire never failed to arouse in her.
Five or six years earlier, when Father McGuire was holding a funeral in
St. Athelstan’s churchyard (there was no Roman Catholic cemetery at
Knype Hill) there had been some dispute with the Rector about the
propriety of Father McGuire robing in the church, or not robing in the
church, and the two priests had wrangled disgracefully over the open
grave. Since then they had not been on speaking terms. It was better so,
the Rector said.
As to the other ministers of religion in Knype Hill—Mr. Ward the
Congregationalist minister, Mr. Foley the Wesleyan pastor, and the
braying bald-headed elder who conducted the orgies at Ebenezer
Chapel—the Rector called them a pack of vulgar Dissenters and had
forbidden Dorothy on pain of his displeasure to have anything to do with
them.
§V
It was twelve o’clock. In the large, dilapidated conservatory, whose
roof-panes, from the action of time and dirt, were dim, green and
iridescent like old Roman glass, they were having a hurried and noisy
rehearsal of Charles I.
Dorothy was not actually taking part in the rehearsal, but was busy
making costumes. She made the costumes, or most of them, for all the
plays the school-children acted. The production and stage management
were in the hands of Victor Stone—Victor, Dorothy called him—the
Church schoolmaster. He was a small-boned, excitable, black-haired youth
of twenty-seven, dressed in dark sub-clerical clothes, and at this
moment he was gesturing fiercely with a roll of manuscript at six
dense-looking children. On a long bench against the wall four more
children were alternately practising “noises off” by clashing fire-irons
together, and squabbling over a grimy little bag of Spearmint Bouncers,
forty a penny.
It was horribly hot in the conservatory, and there was a powerful smell
of glue and the sour sweat of children. Dorothy was kneeling on the
floor, with her mouth full of pins and a pair of shears in her hand,
rapidly slicing sheets of brown paper into long narrow strips. The
gluepot was bubbling on an oil-stove beside her; behind her, on the
rickety, ink-stained work-table, were a tangle of half-finished
costumes, more sheets of brown paper, her sewing-machine, bundles of
tow, shards of dry glue, wooden swords and open pots of paint. With half
her mind Dorothy was meditating upon the two pairs of
seventeenth-century jackboots that had got to be made for Charles I and
Oliver Cromwell, and with the other half listening to the angry shouts
of Victor, who was working himself up into a rage, as he invariably did
at rehearsals. He was a natural actor, and withal thoroughly bored by
the drudgery of rehearsing half-witted children. He strode up and down,
haranguing the children in a vehement slangy style, and every now and
then breaking off to lunge at one or other of them with a wooden sword
that he had grabbed from the table.
“Put a bit of life into it, can’t you?” he cried, prodding an ox-faced
boy of eleven in the belly. “Don’t drone! Say it as if it meant
something! You look like a corpse that’s been buried and dug up again.
What’s the good of gurgling it down in your inside like that? Stand up
and shout at him. Take off that second murderer expression!”
“Come here, Percy!” cried Dorothy through her pins. “Quick!”
She was making the armour—the worst job of the lot, except those
wretched jackboots—out of glue and brown paper. From long practice
Dorothy could make very nearly anything out of glue and brown paper; she
could even make a passably good periwig, with a brown paper skull-cap
and dyed tow for the hair. Taking the year through, the amount of time
she spent in struggling with glue, brown paper, butter muslin and all
the other paraphernalia of amateur theatricals was enormous. So chronic
was the need of money for all the Church funds that hardly a month ever
passed when there was not a school play or a pageant or an exhibition of
tableaux vivants on hand—not to mention the bazaars and jumble sales.
As Percy—Percy Jowett, the blacksmith’s son, a small curly-headed
boy—got down from the bench and stood wriggling unhappily before her,
Dorothy seized a sheet of brown paper, measured it against him, snipped
out the neckhole and armholes, draped it round his middle and rapidly
pinned it into the shape of a rough breastplate. There was a confused
din of voices.
Victor: “Come on, now, come on! Enter Oliver Cromwell—that’s you!
No, not like that! Do you think Oliver Cromwell would come slinking on
like a dog that’s just had a hiding? Stand up. Stick your chest out.
Scowl. That’s better. Now go on, ‘Cromwell: “Halt! I hold a pistol in my
hand!”’ Go on.”
A girl: “Please, Miss, Mother said as I was to tell you, Miss——”
Dorothy: “Keep still, Percy! For goodness’ sake keep still!”
Cromwell: “’Alt! I ’old a pistol in my ’and!”
A small girl on the bench: “Mister! I’ve dropped my sweetie!
[Snivelling] I’ve dropped my swee-e-e-etie!”
Victor: “No, no, no, Tommie! No, no, no!”
The girl: “Please, Miss, Mother said as I was to tell you as she
couldn’t make my knickers like she promised, Miss, because——”
Dorothy: “You’ll make me swallow a pin if you do that again.”
Cromwell: “_H_alt! I _h_old a pistol——”
The small girl (in tears): “My swee-e-e-e-eetie!”
Dorothy seized the glue-brush, and with feverish speed pasted strips of
brown paper all over Percy’s thorax, up and down, backwards and
forwards, one on top of another, pausing only when the paper stuck to
her fingers. In five minutes she had made a cuirass of glue and brown
paper stout enough, when it was dry, to have defied a real sword-blade.
Percy, “locked up in complete steel” and with the sharp paper edge
cutting his chin, looked down at himself with the miserable resigned
expression of a dog having its bath. Dorothy took the shears, slit the
breastplate up one side, set it on end to dry and started immediately on
another child. A fearful clatter broke out as the “noises off” began
practising the sound of pistol-shots and horses galloping. Dorothy’s
fingers were getting stickier and stickier, but from time to time she
washed some of the glue off them in a bucket of hot water that was kept
in readiness. In twenty minutes she had partially completed three
breast-plates. Later on they would have to be finished off, painted over
with aluminium paint and laced up the sides; and after that there was
the job of making the thigh-pieces, and, worst of all, the helmets to go
with them. Victor, gesticulating with his sword and shouting to overcome
the din of galloping horses, was personating in turn Oliver Cromwell,
Charles I, Roundheads, Cavaliers, peasants and Court ladies. The
children were now growing restive and beginning to yawn, whine and
exchange furtive kicks and pinches. The breast-plates finished for the
moment, Dorothy swept some of the litter off the table, pulled her
sewing-machine into position and set to work on a Cavalier’s green
velvet doublet—it was butter muslin Twinked green, but it looked all
right at a distance.
There was another ten minutes of feverish work. Dorothy broke her
thread, all but said “Damn!” checked herself and hurriedly re-threaded
the needle. She was working against time. The play was now a fortnight
distant, and there was such a multitude of things yet to be
made—helmets, doublets, swords, jackboots (those miserable jackboots
had been haunting her like a nightmare for days past), scabbards,
ruffles, wigs, spurs, scenery—that her heart sank when she thought of
them. The children’s parents never helped with the costumes for the
school plays; more exactly, they always promised to help and then backed
out afterwards. Dorothy’s head was aching diabolically, partly from the
heat of the conservatory, partly from the strain of simultaneously
sewing and trying to visualise patterns for brown paper jackboots. For
the moment she had even forgotten the bill for twenty-one pounds seven
and ninepence at Cargills. She could think of nothing save that fearful
mountain of unmade clothes that lay ahead of her. It was so throughout
her day. One thing loomed up after another—whether it was the costumes
for the school play or the collapsing floor of the belfry, or the
shop-debts or the bindweed in the peas—and each in its turn so urgent
and so harassing that it blotted all the others out of existence.
Victor threw down his wooden sword, took out his watch and looked at it.
“That’ll do!” he said in the abrupt, ruthless tone from which he never
departed when he was dealing with children. “We’ll go on on Friday.
Clear out, the lot of you! I’m sick of the sight of you.”
He watched the children out, and then, having forgotten their existence
as soon as they were out of his sight, produced a page of music from his
pocket and began to fidget up and down, cocking his eye at two forlorn
plants in the corner which trailed their dead brown tendrils over the
edges of their pots. Dorothy was still bending over her machine,
stitching up the seams of the green velvet doublet.
Victor was a restless, intelligent little creature, and only happy when
he was quarrelling with somebody or something. His pale, fine-featured
face wore an expression that appeared to be discontent and was really
boyish eagerness. People meeting him for the first time usually said
that he was wasting his talents in his obscure job as a village
schoolmaster; but the truth was that Victor had no very marketable
talents except a slight gift for music and a much more pronounced gift
for dealing with children. Ineffectual in other ways, he was excellent
with children; he had the proper, ruthless attitude towards them. But of
course, like everyone else, he despised his own especial talent. His
interests were almost purely ecclesiastical. He was what people call a
churchy young man. It had always been his ambition to enter the
Church, and he would actually have done so if he had possessed the kind
of brain that is capable of learning Greek and Hebrew. Debarred from the
priesthood, he had drifted quite naturally into his position as a Church
schoolmaster and organist. It kept him, so to speak, within the Church
precincts. Needless to say, he was an Anglo-Catholic of the most
truculent Church Times breed—more clerical than the clerics,
knowledgeable about Church history, expert on vestments, and ready at
any moment with a furious tirade against Modernists, Protestants,
scientists, Bolshevists and atheists.
“I was thinking,” said Dorothy as she stopped her machine and snipped
off the thread, “we might make those helmets out of old bowler hats, if
we can get hold of enough of them. Cut the brims off, put on paper brims
of the right shape and silver them over.”
“Oh Lord, why worry your head about such things?” said Victor, who had
lost interest in the play the moment the rehearsal was over.
“It’s those wretched jackboots that are worrying me the most,” said
Dorothy, taking the doublet on to her knee and looking at it.
“Oh, bother the jackboots! Let’s stop thinking about the play for a
moment. Look here,” said Victor, unrolling his page of music, “I want
you to speak to your father for me. I wish you’d ask him whether we
can’t have a procession some time next month.”
“Another procession? What for?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You can always find an excuse for a procession.
There’s the Nativity for the B.V.M. coming off on the eighth—that’s
good enough for a procession, I should think. We’ll do it in style. I’ve
got hold of a splendid rousing hymn that they can all bellow, and
perhaps we could borrow their blue banner with the Virgin Mary on it
from St. Wedekind’s in Millborough. If he’ll say the word I’ll start
practising the choir at once.”
“You know he’ll only say no,” said Dorothy, threading a needle to sew
the buttons on the doublet. “He doesn’t really approve of processions.
It’s much better not to ask him and make him angry.”
“Oh, but dash it all!” protested Victor. “It’s simply months since we’ve
had a procession. I never saw such dead-alive services as we have here.
You’d think we were a Baptist chapel or something, from the way we go
on.”
Victor chafed ceaselessly against the dull correctness of the Rector’s
services. His ideal was what he called “the real Catholic
worship”—meaning unlimited incense, gilded images and more than Roman
vestments. In his capacity of organist he was for ever pressing for more
processions, more voluptuous music, more elaborate chanting of the
liturgy, so that it was a continuous pull devil, pull baker between him
and the Rector. And on this point Dorothy sided with her father. Having
been brought up in the peculiar, frigid via media of Anglicanism, she
was by nature averse to and half afraid of anything “ritualistic.”
“But dash it all!” went on Victor, “a procession is such fun! Down the
aisle, out through the west door and back through the south door, with
the choir carrying candles behind and the Boy Scouts in front with the
banner. It would look fine.” He sang a stave in a thin but tuneful
tenor:
“Hail thee, Festival Day, blest day that art hallowed for ever!”
“If I had my way,” he added, “I’d have a couple of boys swinging jolly
good censers of incense at the same time.”
“Yes, but you know how much Father dislikes that kind of thing.
Especially when it’s anything to do with the Virgin Mary. He says it’s
all Roman Fever and leads to people crossing themselves and genuflecting
at the wrong times and goodness know what. You remember what happened at
Advent.”
The previous year, on his own responsibility, Victor had chosen as one
of the hymns for Advent, Number 642, with the refrain “Hail Mary, hail
Mary, hail Mary full of grace!” This piece of popishness had annoyed the
Rector extremely. At the close of the first verse he had pointedly laid
down his hymn book, turned round in his stall and stood regarding the
congregation with an air so stony that some of the choirboys faltered
and almost broke down. Afterwards he had said that to hear the rustics
bawling “’Ail Mary! ’Ail Mary!” made him think he was in the four-ale
bar of the Dog and Bottle.
“But dash it!” said Victor in his aggrieved way, “your father always
puts his foot down when I try and get a bit of life into the service. He
won’t allow us incense, or decent music, or proper vestments, or
anything. And what’s the result? We can’t get enough people to fill the
church a quarter full, even on Easter Sunday. You look round the church
on Sunday morning, and it’s nothing but the Boy Scouts and the Girl
Guides and a few old women.”
“I know. It’s dreadful,” admitted Dorothy, sewing on her button. “It
doesn’t seem to make any difference what we do—we simply can’t get
people to come to church. Still,” she added, “they do come to us to be
married and buried. And I don’t think the congregation’s actually gone
down this year. There were nearly two hundred people at Easter
Communion.”
“Two hundred! It ought to be two thousand. That’s the population of this
town. The fact is that three-quarters of the people in this place never
go near a church in their lives. The Church has absolutely lost its hold
over them. They don’t know that it exists. And why? That’s what I’m
getting at. Why?”
“I suppose it’s all this Science and Free Thought and all that,” said
Dorothy rather sententiously, quoting her father.
This remark deflected Victor from what he had been about to say. He had
been on the very point of saying that St. Athelstan’s congregation had
dwindled because of the dullness of the services; but the hated words
Science and Free Thought set him off in another and even more familiar
channel.
“Of course it’s this so-called Free Thought!” he exclaimed, immediately
beginning to fidget up and down again. “It’s these swine of atheists
like Bertrand Russell and Julian Huxley and all that crowd. And what’s
ruined the Church is that instead of jolly well answering them and
showing them up for the fools and liars they are, we just sit tight and
let them spread their beastly atheist propaganda wherever they choose.
It’s all the fault of the bishops, of course.” (Like every
Anglo-Catholic, Victor had an abysmal contempt for bishops.) “They’re
all Modernists and time-servers. By Jove!” he added more cheerfully,
halting, “did you see my letter in the Church Times last week?”
“No, I’m afraid I didn’t,” said Dorothy, holding another button in
position with her thumb. “What was it about?”
“Oh, Modernist bishops and all that. I got in a good swipe at old
Barnes.”
It was very rarely that a week passed when Victor did not write a letter
to the Church Times. He was in the thick of every controversy and in
the forefront of every assault upon Modernists and atheists. He had
twice been in combat with Dr. Major, had written letters of withering
irony about Dean Inge and the Bishop of Birmingham, and had not
hesitated to attack even the fiendish Russell himself—but Russell, of
course, had not dared to reply. Dorothy, to tell the truth, very seldom
read the Church Times, and the Rector grew angry if he so much as saw
a copy of it in the house. The weekly paper they took in at the Rectory
was the High Churchman’s Gazette—a fine old High Tory anachronism
with a small and select circulation.
“That swine Russell!” said Victor reminiscently, with his hands deep in
his pockets. “How he does make my blood boil!”
“Isn’t that the man who’s such a clever mathematician, or something?”
said Dorothy, biting off her thread.
“Oh, I dare say he’s clever enough in his own line, of course,” admitted
Victor grudgingly. “But what’s that got to do with it? Just because a
man’s clever at figures it doesn’t mean to say that—well, anyway! Let’s
come back to what I was saying. Why is it that we can’t get people to
come to church in this place? It’s because our services are so dreary
and godless, that’s what it is. People want worship that is
worship—they want the real Catholic worship of the real Catholic Church
we belong to. And they don’t get it from us. All they get is the old
Protestant mumbo-jumbo, and Protestantism’s as dead as a doornail, and
everyone knows it.”
“That’s not true!” said Dorothy rather sharply as she pressed the third
button into place. “You know we’re not Protestants. Father’s always
saying that the Church of England is the Catholic Church—he’s preached
I don’t know how many sermons about the Apostolic Succession. That’s why
Lord Pockthorne and the others won’t come to church here. Only he won’t
join in the Anglo-Catholic movement because he thinks they’re too fond
of ritualism for its own sake. And so do I.”
“Oh, I don’t say your father isn’t absolutely sound on
doctrine—absolutely sound. But if he thinks we’re the Catholic Church,
why doesn’t he hold the service in a proper Catholic way? It’s a shame
we can’t have incense occasionally. And his ideas about vestments—if
you don’t mind my saying it—are simply awful. On Easter Sunday he was
actually wearing a Gothic cope with a modern Italian lace alb. Why, dash
it, it’s like wearing a top hat with brown boots.”
“Well, I don’t think vestments are so important as you do,” said
Dorothy. “I think it’s the spirit of the priest that matters, not the
clothes he wears.”
“That’s the kind of thing a Primitive Methodist would say!” exclaimed
Victor disgustedly. “Of course vestments are important! Where’s the
sense of worshipping at all if we can’t make a proper job of it? Now, if
you want to see what real Catholic worship can be like, look at St.
Wedekind’s in Millborough! By Jove, they do things in style there!
Images of the Virgin, reservation of the Sacrament—everything. They’ve
had the Kensitites on to them three times, and they simply defy the
Bishop.”
“Oh, I hate the way they go on at St. Wedekind’s!” said Dorothy.
“They’re absolutely spiky. You can hardly see what’s happening at the
altar, there are such clouds of incense. I think people like that ought
to turn Roman Catholic and have done with it.”
“My dear Dorothy, you ought to have been a Nonconformist. You really
ought. A Plymouth Brother—or a Plymouth Sister or whatever it’s called.
I think your favourite hymn must be Number 567, ‘O my God I fear Thee,
Thou art very High!’”
“Yours is Number 231, ‘I nightly pitch my moving tent a day’s march
nearer Rome!’” retorted Dorothy, winding the thread round the fourth and
last button.
The argument continued for several minutes while Dorothy adorned a
Cavalier’s beaver hat (it was an old black felt school hat of her own)
with plume and ribbons. She and Victor were never long together without
being involved in an argument upon the question of “ritualism.” In
Dorothy’s opinion Victor was of a kind to “go over to Rome” if not
prevented, and she was very likely right. But Victor was not yet aware
of his probable destiny. At present the fevers of the Anglo-Catholic
movement, with its ceaseless exciting warfare on three fronts at
once—Protestants to right of you, Modernists to left of you, and,
unfortunately, Roman Catholics to rear of you and always ready for a sly
kick in the pants—filled his mental horizon. Scoring off Dr. Major in
the Church Times meant more to him than any of the serious business of
life. But for all his churchiness he had not an atom of real piety in
his constitution. It was essentially as a game that religious
controversy appealed to him—the most absorbing game ever invented,
because it goes on for ever and because just a little cheating is
allowed.
“Thank goodness, that’s done!” said Dorothy, twiddling the Cavalier’s
beaver hat round on her hand and then putting it down. “Oh dear, what
piles of things there are still to do, though! I wish I could get those
wretched jackboots off my mind. What’s the time, Victor?”
“It’s nearly five to one.”
“Oh, good gracious! I must run. I’ve got three omelettes to make. I
daren’t trust them to Ellen. And, oh, Victor! Have you got anything you
can give us for the jumble sale? If you had an old pair of trousers you
could give us, that would be best of all, because we can always sell
trousers.”
“Trousers? No. But I tell you what I have got, though. I’ve got a copy
of the The Pilgrim’s Progress and another of Foxe’s Book of Martyrs
that I’ve been wanting to get rid of for years. Beastly Protestant
trash! An old dissenting aunt of mine gave them to me.—Doesn’t it make
you sick, all this cadging for pennies? Now, if we only held our
services in a proper, Catholic way, so that we could get up a proper
congregation, don’t you see, we shouldn’t need——”
“That’ll be splendid,” said Dorothy. “We always have a stall for
books—we charge a penny for each book, and nearly all of them get sold.
We simply must make that jumble sale a success, Victor! I’m counting
on Miss Mayfill to give us something really nice. What I’m specially
hoping is that she might give us that beautiful old Lowestoft china tea
service of hers, and we could sell it for five pounds at least. I’ve
been making special prayers all the morning that she’ll give it to us.”
“Oh?” said Victor, less enthusiastically than usual. Like Proggett
earlier in the morning, he was embarrassed by the word “prayer.” He was
ready to talk all day long about a point of ritual; but the mention of
private devotions struck him as slightly indecent. “Don’t forget to ask
your father about the procession,” he said, getting back to a more
congenial topic.
“All right, I’ll ask him. But you know how it’ll be. He’ll only get
annoyed and say it’s Roman Fever.”
“Oh, damn Roman Fever!” said Victor, who, unlike Dorothy, did not set
himself penances for swearing.
Dorothy hurried to the kitchen, discovered that there were only five
eggs to make omelettes for three people, and decided to make one large
omelette and swell it out a bit with the cold boiled potatoes left over
from yesterday. With a short prayer for the success of the omelette (for
omelettes are so dreadfully apt to get broken when you take them out of
the pan), she whipped up the eggs, while Victor made off down the drive,
half wistfully and half sulkily humming “Hail thee, Festival Day,” and
passing on his way a disgusted-looking manservant carrying the two
handleless chamber-pots which were Miss Mayfill’s contribution to the
jumble sale.
§VI
It was a little after ten o’clock. Various things had happened—nothing,
however, of any particular importance; only the usual round of parish
jobs that filled up Dorothy’s afternoon and evening. Now, as she had
arranged earlier in the day, she was at Mr. Warburton’s house, and was
trying to hold her own in one of those meandering arguments in which he
delighted to entangle her.
They were talking—but indeed, Mr. Warburton never failed to manœuvre
the conversation towards this subject—about the question of religious
belief.
“My dear Dorothy,” he was saying argumentatively, as he walked up and
down with one hand in his coat pocket and the other manipulating a
Brazilian cigar. “My dear Dorothy, you don’t seriously mean to tell me
that at your age—twenty-seven, I believe—and with your intelligence,
you still retain your religious beliefs more or less in toto?”
“Of course I do. You know I do.”
“Oh, come, now! The whole bag of tricks? All that nonsense that you
learned at your mother’s knee—surely you’re not going to pretend to me
that you still believe in it? But of course you don’t! You can’t! You’re
afraid to own up, that’s all it is. No need to worry about that here,
you know. The Rural Dean’s wife isn’t listening, and I won’t give the
show away.”
“I don’t know what you mean by ‘all that nonsense,’” began Dorothy,
sitting up straighter in her chair, a little offended.
“Well, let’s take an instance. Something particularly hard to
swallow—Hell, for instance. Do you believe in Hell? When I say
believe, mind you, I’m not asking whether you believe it in some milk
and water metaphorical way like these Modernist bishops young Victor
Stone gets so excited about. I mean do you believe in it literally? Do
you believe in Hell as you believe in Australia?”
“Yes, of course I do,” said Dorothy, and she endeavoured to explain to
him that the existence of Hell is much more real and permanent than the
existence of Australia.
“Hm,” said Mr. Warburton, unimpressed. “Very sound in its way, of
course. But what always makes me so suspicious of you religious people
is that you’re so deucedly cold-blooded about your beliefs. It shows a
very poor imagination, to say the least of it. Here am I, an infidel and
blasphemer and neck deep in at least six out of the Seven Deadly, and
obviously doomed to eternal torment. There’s no knowing that in an
hour’s time I mayn’t be roasting in the hottest part of Hell. And yet
you can sit there talking to me as calmly as though I’d nothing the
matter with me. Now, if I’d merely got cancer or leprosy or some other
bodily ailment, you’d be quite distressed about it—at least, I like to
flatter myself that you would. Whereas, when I’m going to sizzle on the
grid throughout eternity, you seem positively unconcerned about it.”
“I never said you were going to Hell,” said Dorothy somewhat
uncomfortably, and wishing that the conversation would take a different
turn. For the truth was, though she was not going to tell him so, that
the point Mr. Warburton had raised was one with which she herself had
had certain difficulties. She did indeed believe in Hell, but she had
never been able to persuade herself that anyone actually went there.
She believed that Hell existed, but that it was empty. Uncertain of the
orthodoxy of this belief, she preferred to keep it to herself. “It’s
never certain that anyone is going to Hell,” she said more firmly,
feeling that here at least she was on sure ground.
“What!” said Mr. Warburton, halting in mock surprise. “Surely you don’t
mean to say that there’s hope for me yet?”
“Of course there is. It’s only those horrid Predestination people who
pretend that you go to Hell whether you repent or not. You don’t think
the Church of England are Calvinists, do you?”
“I suppose there’s always the chance of getting off on a plea of
Invincible Ignorance,” said Mr. Warburton reflectively; and then, more
confidentially: “Do you know, Dorothy, I’ve a sort of feeling that even
now, after knowing me two years, you’ve still half an idea you can make
a convert of me. A lost sheep—brand plucked from the burning, and all
that. I believe you still hope against hope that one of these days my
eyes will be opened and you’ll meet me at Holy Communion at seven
o’clock on some damned cold winter morning. Don’t you?”
“Well——” said Dorothy, again uncomfortably. She did, in fact,
entertain some such hope about Mr. Warburton, though he was not exactly
a promising case for conversion. It was not in her nature to see a
fellow-being in a state of unbelief without making some effort to
reclaim him. What hours she had spent, at different times, earnestly
debating with vague village atheists who could not produce a single
intelligible reason for their unbelief! “Yes,” she admitted finally, not
particularly wanting to make the admission, but not wanting to
prevaricate.
Mr. Warburton laughed delightedly.
“You’ve a hopeful nature,” he said. “But you aren’t afraid, by any
chance, that I might convert you? ‘The dog it was that died,’ you may
remember.”
At this Dorothy merely smiled. “Don’t let him see he’s shocking
you”—that was always her maxim when she was talking to Mr. Warburton.
They had been arguing in this manner, without coming to any kind of
conclusion, for the past hour, and might have gone on for the rest of
the night if Dorothy had been willing to stay; for Mr. Warburton
delighted in teasing her about her religious beliefs. He had that fatal
cleverness that so often goes with unbelief, and in their arguments,
though Dorothy was always right, she was not always victorious. They
were sitting, or rather Dorothy was sitting and Mr. Warburton was
standing, in a large agreeable room, giving on a moonlit lawn, that Mr.
Warburton called his “studio”—not that there was any sign of any work
ever having been done in it. To Dorothy’s great disappointment, the
celebrated Mr. Bewley had not turned up. (As a matter of fact, neither
Mr. Bewley, nor his wife, nor his novel entitled _Fishpools and
Concubines_, actually existed. Mr. Warburton had invented all three of
them on the spur of the moment, as a pretext for inviting Dorothy to his
house, well knowing that she would never come unchaperoned.) Dorothy had
felt rather uneasy on finding that Mr. Warburton was alone. It had
occurred to her, indeed she had felt perfectly certain, that it would be
wiser to go home at once; but she had stayed, chiefly because she was
horribly tired and the leather armchair into which Mr. Warburton had
thrust her the moment she entered the house was too comfortable to
leave. Now, however, her conscience was pricking her. It didn’t do to
stay too late at his house—people would talk if they heard of it.
Besides, there was a multitude of jobs that she ought to be doing and
that she had neglected in order to come here. She was so little used to
idleness that even an hour spent in mere talking seemed to her vaguely
sinful.
She made an effort, and straightened herself in the too-comfortable
chair. “I think, if you don’t mind, it’s really time I was getting
home,” she said.
“Talking of Invincible Ignorance,” went on Mr. Warburton, taking no
notice of Dorothy’s remark, “I forget whether I ever told you that once
when I was standing outside the World’s End pub in Chelsea, waiting for
a taxi, a damned ugly little Salvation Army lassie came up to me and
said—without any kind of introduction, you know—‘What will you say at
the Judgement Seat?’ I said, ‘I am reserving my defence.’ Rather neat, I
think, don’t you?”
Dorothy did not answer. Her conscience had given her another and harder
jab—she had remembered those wretched, unmade jackboots, and the fact
that at least one of them had got to be made to-night. She was, however,
unbearably tired. She had had an exhausting afternoon, starting off with
ten miles or so of bicycling to and fro in the sun, delivering the
parish magazine, and continuing with the Mothers’ Union tea in the hot
little wooden-walled room behind the parish hall. The Mothers met every
Wednesday afternoon to have tea and do some charitable sewing while
Dorothy read aloud to them. (At present she was reading Gene Stratton
Porter’s A Girl of the Limberlost.) It was nearly always upon Dorothy
that jobs of that kind devolved, because the phalanx of devoted women
(the church fowls, they are called) who do the dirty work of most
parishes had dwindled at Knype Hill to four or five at most. The only
helper on whom Dorothy could count at all regularly was Miss Foote, a
tall, rabbit-faced, dithering virgin of thirty-five, who meant well but
made a mess of everything and was in a perpetual state of flurry. Mr.
Warburton used to say that she reminded him of a comet—“a ridiculous
blunt-nosed creature rushing round on an eccentric orbit and always a
little behind time.” You could trust Miss Foote with the church
decorations, but not with the Mothers or the Sunday School, because,
though a regular churchgoer, her orthodoxy was suspect. She had confided
to Dorothy that she could worship God best under the blue dome of the
sky. After tea Dorothy had dashed up to the church to put fresh flowers
on the altar, and then she had typed out her father’s sermon—her
typewriter was a rickety pre-Boer War “invisible,” on which you couldn’t
average eight hundred words an hour—and after supper she had weeded the
pea rows until the light failed and her back seemed to be breaking. With
one thing and another, she was even more tired than usual.
“I really must be getting home,” she repeated more firmly. “I’m sure
it’s getting fearfully late.”
“Home?” said Mr. Warburton. “Nonsense! The evening’s hardly begun.”
He was walking up and down the room again, with his hands in his coat
pockets, having thrown away his cigar. The spectre of the unmade
jackboots stalked back into Dorothy’s mind. She would, she suddenly
decided, make two jackboots to-night instead of only one, as a penance
for the hour she had wasted. She was just beginning to make a mental
sketch of the way she would cut out the pieces of brown paper for the
insteps, when she noticed that Mr. Warburton had halted behind her
chair.
“What time is it, do you know?” she said.
“I dare say it might be half past ten. But people like you and me don’t
talk of such vulgar subjects as the time.”
“If it’s half past ten, then I really must be going,” said Dorothy.
“I’ve got a whole lot of work to do before I go to bed.”
“Work! At this time of night? Impossible!”
“Yes, I have. I’ve got to make a pair of jackboots.”
“You’ve got to make a pair of what?” said Mr. Warburton.
“Of jackboots. For the play the school-children are acting. We make them
out of glue and brown paper.”
“Glue and brown paper! Good God!” murmured Mr. Warburton. He went on,
chiefly to cover the fact that he was drawing nearer to Dorothy’s chair:
“What a life you lead! Messing about with glue and brown paper in the
middle of the night! I must say, there are times when I feel just a
little glad that I’m not a clergyman’s daughter.”
“I think——” began Dorothy.
But at the same moment Mr. Warburton, invisible behind her chair, had
lowered his hands and taken her gently by the shoulders. Dorothy
immediately wriggled herself in an effort to get free of him; but Mr.
Warburton pressed her back into her place.
“Keep still,” he said peaceably.
“Let me go!” exclaimed Dorothy.
Mr. Warburton ran his right hand caressingly down her upper arm. There
was something very revealing, very characteristic in the way he did it;
it was the lingering, appraising touch of a man to whom a woman’s body
is valuable precisely in the same way as though it were something to
eat.
“You really have extraordinary nice arms,” he said. “How on earth have
you managed to remain unmarried all these years?”
“Let me go at once!” repeated Dorothy, beginning to struggle again.
“But I don’t particularly want to let you go,” objected Mr. Warburton.
“Please don’t stroke my arm like that! I don’t like it!”
“What a curious child you are! Why don’t you like it?”
“I tell you I don’t like it!”
“Now don’t go and turn round,” said Mr. Warburton mildly. “You don’t
seem to realise how tactful it was on my part to approach you from
behind your back. If you turn round you’ll see that I’m old enough to be
your father, and hideously bald into the bargain. But if you’ll only
keep still and not look at me you can imagine I’m Ivor Novello.”
Dorothy caught sight of the hand that was caressing her—a large, pink,
very masculine hand, with thick fingers and a fleece of gold hairs upon
the back. She turned very pale; the expression of her face altered from
mere annoyance to aversion and dread. She made a violent effort,
wrenched herself free and stood up, facing him.
“I do so wish you wouldn’t do that!” she said, half in anger and half
in distress.
“What is the matter with you?” said Mr. Warburton.
He had stood upright, in his normal pose, entirely unconcerned, and he
looked at her with a touch of curiosity. Her face had changed. It was
not only that she had turned pale; there was a withdrawn,
half-frightened look in her eyes—almost as though, for the moment, she
were looking at him with the eyes of a stranger. He perceived that he
had wounded her in some way which he did not understand, and which
perhaps she did not want him to understand.
“What is the matter with you?” he repeated.
“Why must you do that every time you meet me?”
“‘Every time I meet you’ is an exaggeration,” said Mr. Warburton. “It’s
really very seldom that I get the opportunity. But if you really and
truly don’t like it——”
“Of course I don’t like it! You know I don’t like it!”
“Well, well! Then let’s say no more about it,” said Mr. Warburton
generously. “Sit down, and we’ll change the subject.”
He was totally devoid of shame. It was perhaps his most outstanding
characteristic. Having attempted to seduce her, and failed, he was quite
willing to go on with the conversation as though nothing whatever had
happened.
“I’m going home at once,” said Dorothy. “I can’t stay here any longer.”
“Oh, nonsense! Sit down and forget about it. We’ll talk of moral
theology, or cathedral architecture, or the Girl Guides’ cooking
classes, or anything you choose. Think how bored I shall be all alone if
you go home at this hour.”
But Dorothy persisted, and there was an argument. Even if it had not
been his intention to make love to her—and whatever he might promise he
would certainly begin again in a few minutes if she did not go—Mr.
Warburton would have pressed her to stay, for, like all thoroughly idle
people, he had a horror of going to bed and no conception of the value
of time. He would, if you let him, keep you talking till three or four
in the morning. Even when Dorothy finally escaped, he walked beside her
down the moonlit drive, still talking voluminously and with such perfect
good humour that she found it impossible to be angry with him any
longer.
“I’m leaving first thing to-morrow,” he told her as they reached the
gate. “I’m going to take the car to town and pick up the kids—the
bastards, you know—and we’re leaving for France the next day. I’m not
certain where we shall go after that; eastern Europe, perhaps. Prague,
Vienna, Bucharest.”
“How nice,” said Dorothy.
Mr. Warburton, with an adroitness surprising in so large and stout a
man, had manœuvred himself between Dorothy and the gate.
“I shall be away six months or more,” he said. “And of course I needn’t
ask, before so long a parting, whether you want to kiss me good-bye?”
Before she knew what he was doing he had put his arm about her and drawn
her against him. She drew back—too late; he kissed her on the
cheek—would have kissed her on the mouth if she had not turned her head
away in time. She struggled in his arms, violently and for a moment
helplessly.
“Oh, let me go!” she cried. “Do let me go!”
“I believe I pointed out before,” said Mr. Warburton, holding her easily
against him, “that I don’t want to let you go.”
“But we’re standing right in front of Mrs. Semprill’s window! She’ll see
us absolutely for certain!”
“Oh, good God! So she will!” said Mr. Warburton. “I was forgetting.”
Impressed by this argument, as he would not have been by any other, he
let Dorothy go. She promptly put the gate between Mr. Warburton and
herself. He, meanwhile, was scrutinising Mrs. Semprill’s windows.
“I can’t see a light anywhere,” he said finally. “With any luck the
blasted hag hasn’t seen us.”
“Good-bye,” said Dorothy briefly. “This time I really must go.
Remember me to the children.”
With this she made off as fast as she could go without actually running,
to get out of his reach before he should attempt to kiss her again.
Even as she did so a sound checked her for an instant—the unmistakable
bang of a window shutting, somewhere in Mrs. Semprill’s house. Could
Mrs. Semprill have been watching them after all? But (reflected Dorothy)
of course she had been watching them! What else could you expect? You
could hardly imagine Mrs. Semprill missing such a scene as that. And if
she had been watching them, undoubtedly the story would be all over
the town to-morrow morning, and it would lose nothing in the telling.
But this thought, sinister though it was, did no more than flit
momentarily through Dorothy’s mind as she hurried down the road.
When she was well out of sight of Mr. Warburton’s house she stopped,
took out her handkerchief and scrubbed the place on her cheek where he
had kissed her. She scrubbed it vigorously enough to bring the blood
into her cheek. It was not until she had quite rubbed out the imaginary
stain which his lips had left there that she walked on again.
What he had done had upset her. Even now her heart was knocking and
fluttering uncomfortably. I can’t bear that kind of thing! she
repeated to herself several times over. And unfortunately this was no
more than the literal truth; she really could not bear it. To be kissed
or fondled by a man—to feel heavy male arms about her and thick male
lips bearing down upon her own—was terrifying and repulsive to her.
Even in memory or imagination it made her wince. It was her especial
secret, the especial, incurable disability that she carried through
life.
If only they would leave you alone! she thought as she walked onwards
a little more slowly. That was how she put it to herself habitually—“If
only they would leave you alone!” For it was not that in other ways
she disliked men. On the contrary, she liked them better than women.
Part of Mr. Warburton’s hold over her was in the fact that he was a man
and had the careless good humour and the intellectual largeness that
women so seldom have. But why couldn’t they leave you alone? Why did
they always have to kiss you and maul you about? They were dreadful when
they kissed you—dreadful and a little disgusting, like some large,
furry beast that rubs itself against you, all too friendly and yet
liable to turn dangerous at any moment. And beyond their kissing and
mauling there lay always the suggestion of those other, monstrous things
(“all that” was her name for them) of which she could hardly even bear
to think.
Of course, she had had her share, and rather more than her share, of
casual attention from men. She was just pretty enough, and just plain
enough, to be the kind of girl that men habitually pester. For when a
man wants a little casual amusement, he usually picks out a girl who is
not too pretty. Pretty girls (so he reasons) are spoilt and therefore
capricious; but plain girls are easy game. And even if you are a
clergyman’s daughter, even if you live in a town like Knype Hill and
spend almost your entire life in parish work, you don’t altogether
escape pursuit. Dorothy was all too used to it—all too used to the
fattish middle-aged men, with their fishily hopeful eyes, who slowed
down their cars when you passed them on the road, or who manœuvred an
introduction and then began pinching your elbow about ten minutes
afterwards. Men of all descriptions. Even a clergyman, on one
occasion—a bishop’s chaplain, he was. . . .
But the trouble was that it was not better, but oh! infinitely worse
when they were the right kind of man and the advances they made you were
honourable. Her mind slipped backwards five years, to Francis Moon,
curate in those days at St. Wedekind’s in Millborough. Dear Francis! How
gladly would she have married him if only it had not been for _all
that_! Over and over again he had asked her to marry him, and of course
she had had to say No; and, equally of course, he had never known why.
Impossible to tell him why. And then he had gone away, and only a year
later had died so irrelevantly of pneumonia. She whispered a prayer for
his soul, momentarily forgetting that her father did not really approve
of prayers for the dead, and then, with an effort, pushed the memory
aside. Ah, better not to think of it again! It hurt her in her breast to
think of it.
She could never marry, she had decided long ago upon that. Even when she
was a child she had known it. Nothing would ever overcome her horror of
all that—at the very thought of it something within her seemed to
shrink and freeze. And of course, in a sense she did not want to
overcome it. For, like all abnormal people, she was not fully aware that
she was abnormal.
And yet, though her sexual coldness seemed to her natural and
inevitable, she knew well enough how it was that it had begun. She could
remember, as clearly as though it were yesterday, certain dreadful
scenes between her father and her mother—scenes that she had witnessed
when she was no more than nine years old. They had left a deep, secret
wound in her mind. And then a little later she had been frightened by
some old steel engravings of nymphs pursued by satyrs. To her childish
mind there was something inexplicably, horribly sinister in those
horned, semi-human creatures that lurked in thickets and behind large
trees, ready to come bounding forth in sudden swift pursuit. For a whole
year of her childhood she had actually been afraid to walk through woods
alone, for fear of satyrs. She had grown out of the fear, of course, but
not out of the feeling that was associated with it. The satyr had
remained with her as a symbol. Perhaps she would never grow out of it,
that special feeling of dread, of hopeless flight from something more
than rationally dreadful—the stamp of hooves in the lonely wood, the
lean, furry thighs of the satyr. It was a thing not to be altered, not
to be argued away. It is, moreover, a thing too common nowadays, among
educated women, to occasion any kind of surprise.
Most of Dorothy’s agitation had disappeared by the time she reached the
Rectory. The thoughts of satyrs and Mr. Warburton, of Francis Moon and
her foredoomed sterility, which had been going to and fro in her mind,
faded out of it and were replaced by the accusing image of a jackboot.
She remembered that she had the best part of two hours’ work to do
before going to bed to-night. The house was in darkness. She went round
to the back and slipped in on tiptoe by the scullery door, for fear of
waking her father, who was probably asleep already.
As she felt her way through the dark passage to the conservatory, she
suddenly decided that she had done wrong in going to Mr. Warburton’s
house to-night. She would, she resolved, never go there again, even when
she was certain that somebody else would be there as well. Moreover, she
would do penance to-morrow for having gone there to-night. Having
lighted the lamp, before doing anything else she found her “memo list,”
which was already written out for to-morrow, and pencilled a capital P
against “breakfast.” P stood for penance—no bacon again for breakfast
to-morrow. Then she lighted the oil-stove under the gluepot.
The light of the lamp fell yellow upon her sewing machine and upon the
pile of half-finished clothes on the table, reminding her of the yet
greater pile of clothes that were not even begun; reminding her, also,
that she was dreadfully, overwhelmingly tired. She had forgotten her
tiredness at the moment when Mr. Warburton laid his hands on her
shoulders, but now it had come back upon her with double force.
Moreover, there was a somehow exceptional quality about her tiredness
to-night. She felt, in an almost literal sense of the words, washed out.
As she stood beside the table she had a sudden, very strange feeling as
though her mind had been entirely emptied, so that for several seconds
she actually forgot what it was that she had come into the conservatory
to do.
Then she remembered—the jackboots, of course! Some contemptible little
demon whispered in her ear, “Why not go straight to bed and leave the
jackboots till to-morrow?” She uttered a prayer for strength, and
pinched herself. Come on, Dorothy! No slacking, please! Luke ix. 62.
Then, clearing some of the litter off the table, she got out her
scissors, a pencil and four sheets of brown paper, and sat down to cut
out those troublesome insteps for the jackboots while the glue was
boiling.
When the grandfather clock in her father’s study struck midnight she was
still at work. She had shaped both jackboots by this time, and was
reinforcing them by pasting narrow strips of paper all over them—a
long, messy job. Every bone in her body was aching, and her eyes were
sticky with sleep. Indeed, it was only rather dimly that she remembered
what she was doing. But she worked on, mechanically pasting strip after
strip of paper into place, and pinching herself every two minutes to
counteract the hypnotic sound of the oil-stove singing beneath the
gluepot.
Public domain in Canada and Hong Kong, where copyright ends fifty years after the author’s death. It may still be under copyright elsewhere: not for use or redistribution outside Canada or Hong Kong.