MN 100 · With Saṅgārava · part 2

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I, with teeth clenched and tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth, squeeze, squash, and scorch mind with mind?’ So that’s what I did, until sweat ran from my armpits. It was like when a strong man grabs a weaker man by the head or throat or shoulder and squeezes, squashes, and crushes them. In the same way, with teeth clenched and tongue pressed against the roof of my mouth, I squeezed, squashed, and crushed mind with mind until sweat ran from my armpits. My energy was roused up and unflagging, and my mindfulness was established and lucid, but my body was disturbed, not tranquil, because I’d pushed too hard with that painful striving.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ dantebhidantamādhāya, jivhāya tāluṁ āhacca, cetasā cittaṁ abhiniggaṇheyyaṁ abhinippīḷeyyaṁ abhisantāpeyyan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, dantebhidantamādhāya, jivhāya tāluṁ āhacca, cetasā cittaṁ abhiniggaṇhāmi abhinippīḷemi abhisantāpemi. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, dantebhidantamādhāya, jivhāya tāluṁ āhacca, cetasā cittaṁ abhiniggaṇhato abhinippīḷayato abhisantāpayato kacchehi sedā muccanti. Seyyathāpi, bhāradvāja, balavā puriso dubbalataraṁ purisaṁ sīse vā gahetvā khandhe vā gahetvā abhiniggaṇheyya abhinippīḷeyya abhisantāpeyya; evameva kho me, bhāradvāja, dantebhidantamādhāya, jivhāya tāluṁ āhacca, cetasā cittaṁ abhiniggaṇhato abhinippīḷayato abhisantāpayato kacchehi sedā muccanti. Āraddhaṁ kho pana me, bhāradvāja, vīriyaṁ hoti asallīnaṁ, upaṭṭhitā sati asammuṭṭhā; sāraddho ca pana me kāyo hoti appaṭippassaddho, teneva dukkhappadhānena padhānābhitunnassa sato.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I practice the breathless absorption?’ So I cut off my breathing through my mouth and nose. But then winds came out my ears making a severe noise, like the puffing of a blacksmith’s bellows. My energy was roused up and unflagging, and my mindfulness was established and lucid, but my body was disturbed, not tranquil, because I’d pushed too hard with that painful striving.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ appāṇakaṁyeva jhānaṁ jhāyeyyan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca assāsapassāse uparundhiṁ. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu kaṇṇasotehi vātānaṁ nikkhamantānaṁ adhimatto saddo hoti. Seyyathāpi nāma kammāragaggariyā dhamamānāya adhimatto saddo hoti; evameva kho me, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu kaṇṇasotehi vātānaṁ nikkhamantānaṁ adhimatto saddo hoti. Āraddhaṁ kho pana me, bhāradvāja, vīriyaṁ hoti asallīnaṁ, upaṭṭhitā sati asammuṭṭhā; sāraddho ca pana me kāyo hoti appaṭippassaddho, teneva dukkhappadhānena padhānābhitunnassa sato.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I keep practicing the breathless absorption?’ So I cut off my breathing through my mouth and nose and ears. But then severe winds ground my head, like a strong man was drilling into my head with a sharp point. My energy was roused up and unflagging, and my mindfulness was established and lucid, but my body was disturbed, not tranquil, because I’d pushed too hard with that painful striving.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ appāṇakaṁyeva jhānaṁ jhāyeyyan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāse uparundhiṁ. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimattā vātā muddhani ūhananti. Seyyathāpi, bhāradvāja, balavā puriso, tiṇhena sikharena muddhani abhimattheyya; evameva kho me, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimattā vātā muddhani ūhananti. Āraddhaṁ kho pana me, bhāradvāja, vīriyaṁ hoti asallīnaṁ, upaṭṭhitā sati asammuṭṭhā; sāraddho ca pana me kāyo hoti appaṭippassaddho, teneva dukkhappadhānena padhānābhitunnassa sato.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I keep practicing the breathless absorption?’ So I cut off my breathing through my mouth and nose and ears. But then I got a severe headache, like a strong man was tightening a strong leather strap around my head. My energy was roused up and unflagging, and my mindfulness was established and lucid, but my body was disturbed, not tranquil, because I’d pushed too hard with that painful striving.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ appāṇakaṁyeva jhānaṁ jhāyeyyan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāse uparundhiṁ. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimattā sīse sīsavedanā honti. Seyyathāpi, bhāradvāja, balavā puriso daḷhena varattakkhaṇḍena sīse sīsaveṭhaṁ dadeyya; evameva kho, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimattā sīse sīsavedanā honti. Āraddhaṁ kho pana me, bhāradvāja, vīriyaṁ hoti asallīnaṁ, upaṭṭhitā sati asammuṭṭhā; sāraddho ca pana me kāyo hoti appaṭippassaddho, teneva dukkhappadhānena padhānābhitunnassa sato.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I keep practicing the breathless absorption?’ So I cut off my breathing through my mouth and nose and ears. But then severe winds carved up my belly, like a deft butcher or their apprentice was slicing my belly open with a sharp meat cleaver. My energy was roused up and unflagging, and my mindfulness was established and lucid, but my body was disturbed, not tranquil, because I’d pushed too hard with that painful striving.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ appāṇakaṁyeva jhānaṁ jhāyeyyan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāse uparundhiṁ. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimattā vātā kucchiṁ parikantanti. Seyyathāpi, bhāradvāja, dakkho goghātako vā goghātakantevāsī vā tiṇhena govikantanena kucchiṁ parikanteyya; evameva kho me, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimattā vātā kucchiṁ parikantanti. Āraddhaṁ kho pana me, bhāradvāja, vīriyaṁ hoti asallīnaṁ upaṭṭhitā sati asammuṭṭhā; sāraddho ca pana me kāyo hoti appaṭippassaddho, teneva dukkhappadhānena padhānābhitunnassa sato.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I keep practicing the breathless absorption?’ So I cut off my breathing through my mouth and nose and ears. But then there was a severe burning in my body, like two strong men grabbing a weaker man by the arms to burn and scorch him on a pit of glowing coals. My energy was roused up and unflagging, and my mindfulness was established and lucid, but my body was disturbed, not tranquil, because I’d pushed too hard with that painful striving.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ appāṇakaṁyeva jhānaṁ jhāyeyyan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāse uparundhiṁ. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimatto kāyasmiṁ ḍāho hoti. Seyyathāpi, bhāradvāja, dve balavanto purisā dubbalataraṁ purisaṁ nānābāhāsu gahetvā aṅgārakāsuyā santāpeyyuṁ samparitāpeyyuṁ; evameva kho me, bhāradvāja, mukhato ca nāsato ca kaṇṇato ca assāsapassāsesu uparuddhesu adhimatto kāyasmiṁ ḍāho hoti. Āraddhaṁ kho pana me, bhāradvāja, vīriyaṁ hoti asallīnaṁ, upaṭṭhitā sati asammuṭṭhā, sāraddho ca pana me kāyo hoti appaṭippassaddho, teneva dukkhappadhānena padhānābhitunnassa sato.

Then some deities saw me and said, ‘The ascetic Gotama is dead.’ Others said, ‘He’s not dead, but he’s dying.’ Others said, ‘He’s not dead or dying. The ascetic Gotama is a perfected one, for that is how the perfected ones live.’

Apissu maṁ, bhāradvāja, devatā disvā evamāhaṁsu: ‘kālaṅkato samaṇo gotamo’ti. Ekaccā devatā evamāhaṁsu: ‘na kālaṅkato samaṇo gotamo, api ca kālaṁ karotī’ti. Ekaccā devatā evamāhaṁsu: ‘na kālaṅkato samaṇo gotamo, nāpi kālaṁ karoti; arahaṁ samaṇo gotamo, vihāro tveva so arahato evarūpo hotī’ti.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I practice completely cutting off food?’

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ sabbaso āhārupacchedāya paṭipajjeyyan’ti.

But deities came to me and said, ‘Good fellow, don’t practice totally cutting off food. If you do, we’ll infuse heavenly nectar into your pores and you will live on that.’

Atha kho maṁ, bhāradvāja, devatā upasaṅkamitvā etadavocuṁ: ‘mā kho tvaṁ, mārisa, sabbaso āhārupacchedāya paṭipajji. Sace kho tvaṁ, mārisa, sabbaso āhārupacchedāya paṭipajjissasi, tassa te mayaṁ dibbaṁ ojaṁ lomakūpehi ajjhohāressāma. Tāya tvaṁ yāpessasī’ti.

Then it occurred to me, ‘If I claim to be completely fasting while these deities are infusing heavenly nectar in my pores, that would be a lie on my part.’ So I refused those deities, saying, ‘There’s no need.’

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘ahañceva kho pana sabbaso ajajjitaṁ paṭijāneyyaṁ, imā ca me devatā dibbaṁ ojaṁ lomakūpehi ajjhohāreyyuṁ, tāya cāhaṁ yāpeyyaṁ. Taṁ mamassa musā’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, tā devatā paccācikkhāmi, ‘halan’ti vadāmi.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why don’t I just take a little bit of food each time, a handful of broth made from mung beans, horse gram, chickpeas, or green gram?’ So that’s what I did, until my body became severely emaciated. Due to eating so little, my major and minor limbs became like the joints of an eighty-year-old or a dying man, my bottom became like a camel’s hoof, my vertebrae stuck out like beads on a string, and my ribs were as gaunt as the broken-down rafters on an old barn. Due to eating so little, the gleam of my eyes sank deep in their sockets, like the gleam of water sunk deep down a well. Due to eating so little, my scalp shriveled and withered like a green bitter-gourd in the wind and sun. Due to eating so little, the skin of my belly stuck to my backbone, so that when I tried to rub the skin of my belly I grabbed my backbone, and when I tried to rub my backbone I rubbed the skin of my belly. Due to eating so little, when I tried to urinate or defecate I fell face down right there. Due to eating so little, when I tried to relieve my body by rubbing my limbs with my hands, the hair, rotted at its roots, fell out.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘yannūnāhaṁ thokaṁ thokaṁ āhāraṁ āhāreyyaṁ pasataṁ pasataṁ, yadi vā muggayūsaṁ, yadi vā kulatthayūsaṁ, yadi vā kaḷāyayūsaṁ, yadi vā hareṇukayūsan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, thokaṁ thokaṁ āhāraṁ āhāresiṁ pasataṁ pasataṁ, yadi vā muggayūsaṁ, yadi vā kulatthayūsaṁ, yadi vā kaḷāyayūsaṁ, yadi vā hareṇukayūsaṁ. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, thokaṁ thokaṁ āhāraṁ āhārayato pasataṁ pasataṁ, yadi vā muggayūsaṁ, yadi vā kulatthayūsaṁ, yadi vā kaḷāyayūsaṁ, yadi vā hareṇukayūsaṁ, adhimattakasimānaṁ patto kāyo hoti. Seyyathāpi nāma āsītikapabbāni vā kāḷapabbāni vā; evamevassu me aṅgapaccaṅgāni bhavanti tāyevappāhāratāya. Seyyathāpi nāma oṭṭhapadaṁ; evamevassu me ānisadaṁ hoti tāyevappāhāratāya; seyyathāpi nāma vaṭṭanāvaḷī; evamevassu me piṭṭhikaṇṭako uṇṇatāvanato hoti tāyevappāhāratāya. Seyyathāpi nāma jarasālāya gopānasiyo oluggaviluggā bhavanti; evamevassu me phāsuḷiyo oluggaviluggā bhavanti tāyevappāhāratāya. Seyyathāpi nāma gambhīre udapāne udakatārakā gambhīragatā okkhāyikā dissanti; evamevassu me akkhikūpesu akkhitārakā gambhīragatā okkhāyikā dissanti tāyevappāhāratāya. Seyyathāpi nāma tittakālābu āmakacchinno vātātapena samphuṭito hoti sammilāto; evamevassu me sīsacchavi samphuṭitā hoti sammilātā tāyevappāhāratāya. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, ‘udaracchaviṁ parimasissāmī’ti piṭṭhikaṇṭakaṁyeva pariggaṇhāmi, ‘piṭṭhikaṇṭakaṁ parimasissāmī’ti udaracchaviṁyeva pariggaṇhāmi; yāvassu me, bhāradvāja, udaracchavi piṭṭhikaṇṭakaṁ allīnā hoti tāyevappāhāratāya. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, ‘vaccaṁ vā muttaṁ vā karissāmī’ti tattheva avakujjo papatāmi tāyevappāhāratāya. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, imameva kāyaṁ assāsento pāṇinā gattāni anumajjāmi. Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, pāṇinā gattāni anumajjato pūtimūlāni lomāni kāyasmā papatanti tāyevappāhāratāya.

Then some people saw me and said: ‘The ascetic Gotama is black.’ Some said: ‘He’s not black, he’s brown.’ Some said: ‘He’s neither black nor brown. The ascetic Gotama has dingy skin.’ That’s how far the pure, bright complexion of my skin had been ruined by taking so little food.

Apissu maṁ, bhāradvāja, manussā disvā evamāhaṁsu: ‘kāḷo samaṇo gotamo’ti. Ekacce manussā evamāhaṁsu: ‘na kāḷo samaṇo gotamo, sāmo samaṇo gotamo’ti. Ekacce manussā evamāhaṁsu: ‘na kāḷo samaṇo gotamo napi sāmo, maṅguracchavi samaṇo gotamo’ti; yāvassu me, bhāradvāja, tāva parisuddho chavivaṇṇo pariyodāto upahato hoti tāyevappāhāratāya.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Whatever ascetics and brahmins have experienced painful, sharp, severe, acute feelings due to exertion—whether in the past, future, or present—this is as far as it goes, no-one has done more than this. But I have not achieved any superhuman distinction in knowledge and vision worthy of the noble ones by this severe, grueling work. Could there be another path to awakening?’

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘ye kho keci atītamaddhānaṁ samaṇā vā brāhmaṇā vā opakkamikā dukkhā tibbā kharā kaṭukā vedanā vedayiṁsu, etāvaparamaṁ, nayito bhiyyo; yepi hi keci anāgatamaddhānaṁ samaṇā vā brāhmaṇā vā opakkamikā dukkhā tibbā kharā kaṭukā vedanā vedayissanti, etāvaparamaṁ, nayito bhiyyo; yepi hi keci etarahi samaṇā vā brāhmaṇā vā opakkamikā dukkhā tibbā kharā kaṭukā vedanā vedayanti, etāvaparamaṁ, nayito bhiyyo. Na kho panāhaṁ imāya kaṭukāya dukkarakārikāya adhigacchāmi uttari manussadhammā alamariyañāṇadassanavisesaṁ. Siyā nu kho añño maggo bodhāyā’ti?

Then it occurred to me, ‘I recall sitting in the cool shade of a black plum tree while my father the Sakyan was off working. Quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unskillful qualities, I entered and remained in the first absorption, which has the rapture and bliss born of seclusion, while placing the mind and keeping it connected. Could that be the path to awakening?’ Stemming from that memory came the understanding: ‘<em>That</em> is the path to awakening!’

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘abhijānāmi kho panāhaṁ pitu sakkassa kammante sītāya jambucchāyāya nisinno vivicceva kāmehi vivicca akusalehi dhammehi savitakkaṁ savicāraṁ vivekajaṁ pītisukhaṁ paṭhamaṁ jhānaṁ upasampajja viharitā. Siyā nu kho eso maggo bodhāyā’ti? Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, satānusāri viññāṇaṁ ahosi: ‘eseva maggo bodhāyā’ti.

Then it occurred to me, ‘Why am I afraid of that pleasure, for it has nothing to do with sensual pleasures or unskillful qualities?’ Then it occurred to me, ‘I’m not afraid of that pleasure, for it has nothing to do with sensual pleasures or unskillful qualities.’

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘kiṁ nu kho ahaṁ tassa sukhassa bhāyāmi yaṁ taṁ sukhaṁ aññatreva kāmehi aññatra akusalehi dhammehī’ti? Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘na kho ahaṁ tassa sukhassa bhāyāmi yaṁ taṁ sukhaṁ aññatreva kāmehi aññatra akusalehi dhammehī’ti.

Then it occurred to me, ‘I can’t achieve that pleasure with a body so severely emaciated. Why don’t I eat some solid food, some rice and porridge?’ So I ate some solid food.

Tassa mayhaṁ, bhāradvāja, etadahosi: ‘na kho taṁ sukaraṁ sukhaṁ adhigantuṁ evaṁ adhimattakasimānaṁ pattakāyena. Yannūnāhaṁ oḷārikaṁ āhāraṁ āhāreyyaṁ odanakummāsan’ti. So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, oḷārikaṁ āhāraṁ āhāresiṁ odanakummāsaṁ.

Now at that time the group of five mendicants were attending on me, thinking, ‘The ascetic Gotama will tell us of any truth that he realizes.’ But when I ate some solid food, they left disappointed in me, saying, ‘The ascetic Gotama has become indulgent; he has strayed from the struggle and returned to indulgence.’

Tena kho pana maṁ, bhāradvāja, samayena pañcavaggiyā bhikkhū paccupaṭṭhitā honti: ‘yaṁ kho samaṇo gotamo dhammaṁ adhigamissati taṁ no ārocessatī’ti. Yato kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, oḷārikaṁ āhāraṁ āhāresiṁ odanakummāsaṁ, atha me te pañcavaggiyā bhikkhū nibbijja pakkamiṁsu: ‘bāhulliko samaṇo gotamo padhānavibbhanto āvatto bāhullāyā’ti.

After eating solid food and gathering my strength, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unskillful qualities, I entered and remained in the first absorption … As the placing of the mind and keeping it connected were stilled, I entered and remained in the second absorption … third absorption … fourth absorption.

So kho ahaṁ, bhāradvāja, oḷārikaṁ āhāraṁ āhāretvā balaṁ gahetvā vivicceva kāmehi …pe… paṭhamaṁ jhānaṁ upasampajja vihāsiṁ. Vitakkavicārānaṁ vūpasamā ajjhattaṁ sampasādanaṁ cetaso ekodibhāvaṁ avitakkaṁ avicāraṁ samādhijaṁ pītisukhaṁ dutiyaṁ jhānaṁ … tatiyaṁ jhānaṁ … catutthaṁ jhānaṁ upasampajja vihāsiṁ.

When my mind had immersed in samādhi like this—purified, bright, flawless, rid of corruptions, pliable, workable, steady, and imperturbable—I extended it toward recollection of past lives. I recollected many past lives. That is: one, two, three, four, five, ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, a hundred, a thousand, a hundred thousand rebirths; many eons of the world contracting, many eons of the world expanding, many eons of the world contracting and expanding. And so I recollected my many kinds of past lives, with features and details.

So evaṁ samāhite citte parisuddhe pariyodāte anaṅgaṇe vigatūpakkilese mudubhūte kammaniye ṭhite āneñjappatte pubbenivāsānussatiñāṇāya cittaṁ abhininnāmesiṁ. So anekavihitaṁ pubbenivāsaṁ anussarāmi, seyyathidaṁ—ekampi jātiṁ dvepi jātiyo …pe… iti sākāraṁ sauddesaṁ anekavihitaṁ pubbenivāsaṁ anussarāmi.

This was the first knowledge, which I achieved in the first watch of the night. Ignorance was banished and knowledge arose; darkness was banished and light arose, as happens for a meditator who is diligent, keen, and resolute.

Ayaṁ kho me, bhāradvāja, rattiyā paṭhame yāme paṭhamā vijjā adhigatā, avijjā vihatā, vijjā uppannā; tamo vihato, āloko uppanno; yathā taṁ appamattassa ātāpino pahitattassa viharato.

When my mind had immersed in samādhi like this—purified, bright, flawless, rid of corruptions, pliable, workable, steady, and imperturbable—I extended it toward knowledge of the death and rebirth of sentient beings. With clairvoyance that is purified and superhuman, I saw sentient beings passing away and being reborn—inferior and superior, beautiful and ugly, in a good place or a bad place. I understood how sentient beings pass on according to their deeds.

So evaṁ samāhite citte parisuddhe pariyodāte anaṅgaṇe vigatūpakkilese mudubhūte kammaniye ṭhite āneñjappatte sattānaṁ cutūpapātañāṇāya cittaṁ abhininnāmesiṁ. So dibbena cakkhunā visuddhena atikkantamānusakena satte passāmi cavamāne upapajjamāne hīne paṇīte suvaṇṇe dubbaṇṇe sugate duggate yathākammūpage satte pajānāmi …pe…

This was the second knowledge, which I achieved in the middle watch of the night. Ignorance was banished and knowledge arose; darkness was banished and light arose, as happens for a meditator who is diligent, keen, and resolute.

ayaṁ kho me, bhāradvāja, rattiyā majjhime yāme dutiyā vijjā adhigatā, avijjā vihatā, vijjā uppannā; tamo vihato, āloko uppanno; yathā taṁ appamattassa ātāpino pahitattassa viharato.

When my mind had immersed in samādhi like this—purified, bright, flawless, rid of corruptions, pliable, workable, steady, and imperturbable—I extended it toward knowledge of the ending of defilements. I truly understood: ‘This is suffering’ … ‘This is the origin of suffering’ … ‘This is the cessation of suffering’ … ‘This is the practice that leads to the cessation of suffering.’ I truly understood: ‘These are defilements’ … ‘This is the origin of defilements’ … ‘This is the cessation of defilements’ … ‘This is the practice that leads to the cessation of defilements.’

So evaṁ samāhite citte parisuddhe pariyodāte anaṅgaṇe vigatūpakkilese mudubhūte kammaniye ṭhite āneñjappatte āsavānaṁ khayañāṇāya cittaṁ abhininnāmesiṁ. So ‘idaṁ dukkhan’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ, ‘ayaṁ dukkhasamudayo’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ, ‘ayaṁ dukkhanirodho’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ, ‘ayaṁ dukkhanirodhagāminī paṭipadā’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ; ‘ime āsavā’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ, ‘ayaṁ āsavasamudayo’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ, ‘ayaṁ āsavanirodho’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ, ‘ayaṁ āsavanirodhagāminī paṭipadā’ti yathābhūtaṁ abbhaññāsiṁ.

Knowing and seeing like this, my mind was freed from the defilements of sensuality, desire to be reborn, and ignorance. When it was freed, I knew it was freed.

Tassa me evaṁ jānato evaṁ passato kāmāsavāpi cittaṁ vimuccittha, bhavāsavāpi cittaṁ vimuccittha, avijjāsavāpi cittaṁ vimuccittha. Vimuttasmiṁ vimuttamiti ñāṇaṁ ahosi.

I understood: ‘Rebirth is ended; the spiritual journey has been completed; what had to be done has been done; there is nothing further for this place.’

‘Khīṇā jāti, vusitaṁ brahmacariyaṁ, kataṁ karaṇīyaṁ, nāparaṁ itthattāyā’ti abbhaññāsiṁ.

This was the third knowledge, which I achieved in the last watch of the night. Ignorance was banished and knowledge arose; darkness was banished and light arose, as happens for a meditator who is diligent, keen, and resolute.”

Ayaṁ kho me, bhāradvāja, rattiyā pacchime yāme tatiyā vijjā adhigatā, avijjā vihatā, vijjā uppannā; tamo vihato, āloko uppanno; yathā taṁ appamattassa ātāpino pahitattassa viharato”ti.

When he had spoken, Saṅgārava said to the Buddha, “The striving of the worthy Gotama was indeed assiduous and that of a true person, since he is a perfected one, a fully awakened Buddha. But worthy Gotama, do gods survive?”

Evaṁ vutte, saṅgāravo māṇavo bhagavantaṁ etadavoca: “aṭṭhitavataṁ bhoto gotamassa padhānaṁ ahosi, sappurisavataṁ bhoto gotamassa padhānaṁ ahosi; yathā taṁ arahato sammāsambuddhassa. Kiṁ nu kho, bho gotama, atthi devā”ti?

“I’ve understood about gods in terms of causes.”

“Ṭhānaso metaṁ, bhāradvāja, viditaṁ yadidaṁ— adhidevā”ti.

“But worthy Gotama, when asked ‘Do gods survive?’ why did you say that you have understood about gods in terms of causes? That being so, is it not hollow and false?”

“Kiṁ nu kho, bho gotama, ‘atthi devā’ti puṭṭho samāno ‘ṭhānaso metaṁ, bhāradvāja, viditaṁ yadidaṁ adhidevā’ti vadesi. Nanu, bho gotama, evaṁ sante tucchā musā hotī”ti?

“When asked ‘Do gods survive’, whether you reply ‘Gods survive’ or ‘I’ve understood in terms of causes’ a sensible person would come to the categorical conclusion in this matter that gods survive.”

“‘Atthi devā’ti, bhāradvāja, puṭṭho samāno ‘atthi devā’ti yo vadeyya, ‘ṭhānaso me viditā’ti yo vadeyya; atha khvettha viññunā purisena ekaṁsena niṭṭhaṁ gantabbaṁ yadidaṁ: ‘atthi devā’”ti.

“But why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

“Kissa pana me bhavaṁ gotamo ādikeneva na byākāsī”ti?

“It is agreed by the eminent in the world that gods survive.”

“Uccena sammataṁ kho etaṁ, bhāradvāja, lokasmiṁ yadidaṁ: ‘atthi devā’”ti.

When he had spoken, Saṅgārava said to the Buddha, “Excellent, worthy Gotama! Excellent! As if he were righting the overturned, or revealing the hidden, or pointing out the path to the lost, or lighting a lamp in the dark so people with clear eyes can see what’s there, worthy Gotama has made the Teaching clear in many ways. I go for refuge to the worthy Gotama, to the teaching, and to the mendicant Saṅgha. From this day forth, may the worthy Gotama remember me as a lay follower who has gone for refuge for life.”

Evaṁ vutte, saṅgāravo māṇavo bhagavantaṁ etadavoca: “abhikkantaṁ, bho gotama, abhikkantaṁ, bho gotama. Seyyathāpi, bho gotama, nikkujjitaṁ vā ukkujjeyya, paṭicchannaṁ vā vivareyya, mūḷhassa vā maggaṁ ācikkheyya, andhakāre vā telapajjotaṁ dhāreyya: ‘cakkhumanto rūpāni dakkhantī’ti; evamevaṁ bhotā gotamena anekapariyāyena dhammo pakāsito. Esāhaṁ bhavantaṁ gotamaṁ saraṇaṁ gacchāmi dhammañca bhikkhusaṅghañca. Upāsakaṁ maṁ bhavaṁ gotamo dhāretu ajjatagge pāṇupetaṁ saraṇaṁ gatan”ti.