---
title: "The Pot of Gold · Aulularia"
author: "Plautus"
translator: "Henry Thomas Riley"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
section: 1 of 2
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-aulularia/1/
cite: "Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley, The Pot of Gold · Aulularia, section 1. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-aulularia/1/"
---

# The Pot of Gold · Aulularia

*Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley*

A miser finds a pot of gold and lives in terror of losing it.

> Latin: ed. Friedrich Leo, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi0119.phi003, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Thomas Riley, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi0119.phi003.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (line numbers), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 1. Lines 1–433

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-aulularia/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-aulularia/1/#p-N

[¶0] EUNOMIA, the sister of Megadorus. PHAEDRA, the daughter of Euclio. STAPHYLA, an old woman, servant of Euclio.
THE HOUSEHOLD GOD:
Lest any one should wonder who I am, I will tell you in a few words. I am the household God of this family, from whose house you have seen me coming forth. It is now many years that I have been occupying this house, and I inhabited it
for the father and the grandfather of this person who now dwells here. But beseeching me, his grandfather entrusted to me a treasure of gold, unknown to all. He deposited it in the midst of the hearth, praying me that I would watch it for him. He, when he died, was of such an avaricious disposition,
that he would never disclose it to his own son, and preferred rather to leave him in want than to show that treasure to that son. He left him no large quantity of land, on which to live with great laboriousness and in wretchedness.

> Latin: Lar familiaris:
Ne quis miretur qui sim, paucis eloquar.
ego Lar sum familiaris ex hac familia
unde exeuntem me aspexistis. hanc domum
iam multos annos est cum possideo et colo
patri avoque iam huius qui nunc hic habet.
sed mí avos huius obsecrans concredidit
thensaurum aúri clam omnis: in medio foco
defodit, venerans mé ut id servarem sibi.
is quoniam moritur (ita avido ingenio fuit),
numquam indicare id filio voluit suo,
inopemque optavit potius eum relinquere,
quam eum thensaurum commonstraret filio;
agri reliquit ei non magnum modum,
quo cum labore magno et misere viveret.

[¶1] When he died who had entrusted that gold to me, I began to take notice whether his son would any how pay greater honor to me than his father had paid me. But he was in the habit of venerating me still less and less by very much, and gave me a still less share of devotion.

> Latin: ubi is óbiit mortem qui mihi id aurum credidit,
coepi observare, ecqui maiorem filius
mihi honorem haberet quam eius habuisset pater.
atque ille vero minus minusque impendio
curare mínusque me impertire honoribus.

[¶2] So in return was it done by me; and he likewise ended his life. He left this person who now dwells here, his son, of the same disposition as his father and grandfather were. He has an only daughter; she is always every day making offerings to me, either with incense, or wine, or something or other;
she presents me, too, with chaplets. Out of regard for her, I have caused this Euclio to find this treasure, in order that he might more readily give her in marriage if he should wish; for a young man of very high rank has ravished her; this young man knows who it is that he has ravished;
she knows him not, nor yet does her father know that she has been ravished. This day I shall cause the old gentleman here, our neighbour, to ask her as his wife; that will I do for this reason, that he may the more easily marry her who has ravished her. And this old gentleman who shall ask her as his wife,
the same is the uncle of that young man who debauched her in the night time at the festival of Ceres. But this old fellow is now making an uproar in the house, as usual; he is thrusting the old woman out of doors, that she may not be privy to the secret. I suppose he wants to look at the gold, if it be not stolen.
(Enter EUCLIO, driving out STAPHYLA.)

> Latin: item a me contra factum est, nam item obiit diem.
is ex se húnc reliquit qui hic nunc habitat filium
pariter moratum ut pater avosque huius fuit.
huic filia una est. ea mihi cottidie
aut ture aut vino aut aliqui semper supplicat,
dat mihi coronas. eius honoris gratia
feci, thensaurum ut hic reperiret Euclio,
quo illam facilius nuptum, si vellet, daret.
nam eam compressit de summo adulescens loco.
is scit adulescens quae sit quam compresserit,
illa illum nescit, neque compressam autem pater.
eam ego hódie faciam ut hic senex de proxumo
sibi uxórem poscat. id ea faciam gratia,
quo ille eam facilius ducat qui compresserat.
et hic qui poscet eam sibi uxorem senex,
is adulescentis illius est avonculus,
qui illam stupravit noctu, Cereris vigiliis.
sed hic senex iam clamat intus ut solet.
anum foras extrudit, ne sit conscia.
credo aurum inspicere volt, ne subreptum siet.

[¶3] EUCLIO:
Get out, I say, be off, get out; by my troth, you must budge out of this house here, you pryabout woman, with your inquisitive eyes.

> Latin: Evclio:
Exi, ínquam. age exi. exeúndum herclé tibi hinc est foras,
circumspectatrix cum oculis emissiciis.

[¶4] STAPHYLA:
Pray why are you beating me, wretched creature that I am?

> Latin: Staphyla:
Nam cur me miseram verberas?

[¶5] EUCLIO:
That you may be wretched, and that, curst as you are. you may pass a curst life, well befitting you.

> Latin: Evclio:
Vt misera sis
atque ut te dignam mala malam aetatem exigas.

[¶6] STAPHYLA:
But for what reason have you now pushed me out of the house?

> Latin: Staphyla:
Nam qua me nunc causa extrusisti ex aedibus?

[¶7] EUCLIO:
Am I to be giving you a reason, you whole harvest of whips. Get away there from the door! There, do look, if you please, how she does creep along. But do you know how matters stand with you? If I just now take a stick or a whip in my hand, I’ll quicken that tortoise pace for you.

> Latin: Evclio:
Tibi egó rationem reddam, stimulorum seges?
illuc regredere ab ostio. illuc sis vide,
ut incédit. at scin quo modo tibi res se habet?
si hercle hodie fustem cepero aut stimulum in manum,
testudineum istum tibi ego grandibo gradum.

[¶8] STAPHYLA:
O that the Gods would drive me to hang myself, rather indeed than that I should be a slave in your house on these terms!

> Latin: Staphyla:
Vtinam me divi adaxint ad suspendium
potius quidem quam hoc pacto apud te serviam.

[¶9] EUCLIO:
Hark how the hag is grumbling to herself! By my troth, you wretch, I’ll knock out those eyes of yours, that you mayn’t be able to watch me, what business I’m about.

> Latin: Evclio:
At ut scelesta sola secum murmurat.
oculos hercle égo istos, improba, ecfodiam tibi,
ne me observare possis quid rerum geram.

[¶10] Get out (pushes her with his hands)—further yet! still further! further! There now, stand you there! By my faith, if you budge a finger’s breadth, or a nail’s width from that spot, or if you look back until I shall order you, i’ faith, I’ll give you up at once as a trainer for the gibbet.
(Aside.)

> Latin: abscede etiam nunc—etiam nunc—etiam—ohe,
istic astato. si hercle tu ex istoc loco
digitum transvorsum aut unguem latum excesseris
aut si respexis, donicum ego te iussero,
continuo hercle ego te dedam discipulam cruci.

[¶11] I know for sure that I did never see one more accursed than this hag, and I’m sadly in fear of her, lest she should be cheating me unawares, or be scenting it out where the gold is concealed, a most vile wretch, who has eyes in the back of her head as well.

> Latin: scelestiorem me hac anu certo scio
vidisse numquam, nimisque ego hanc metuo male,
ne mi ex insidiis verba imprudenti duit
neu persentiscat aurum ubi est absconditum,
quae in occipitio quoque habet oculos pessima.

[¶12] Now I’ll go and see whether the gold is just as I concealed it, that so troubles wretched me in very many ways.
(He goes into his house.)
STAPHYLA:
By heavens, I cannot now conceive what misfortune, or what insanity, I am to say has befallen my master; in such a way does he
often, ten times in one day, in this fashion push wretched me out of the house. I’ faith, I know not what craziness does possess this man; whole nights is he on the watch; then, too, all the day long does he sit for whole days together at home like a lame cobbler.

> Latin: nunc ibo ut visam sitne ita aurum ut condidi,
quod me sollicitat plurimis miserum modis.—
Staphyla:
Noenum mecastor quid ego ero dicam meo
malae rei evenisse quamve insaniam,
queo comminisci; íta me miseram ad hunc modum
decies die uno saepe extrudit aedibus.
nescio pol quae illunc hominem intemperiae tenent:
pervigilat noctes totas, tum autem interdius
quasi claudus sutor domi sedet totos dies.

[¶13] Nor can I imagine now by what means to conceal the disgrace of my master’s daughter, whose lying-in approaches near; and there isn’t anything better for me, as I fancy, than to make one long capital letter of myself, when I’ve tied up my neck in a halter.
(Enter EUCLIO, from his house.)
EUCLIO: (to himself.)

> Latin: neque iam quo pacto celem erilis filiae
probrum, propinqua partitudo cui appetit,
queo comminisci; neque quicquam meliust mihi,
ut opinor, quam ex me ut unam faciam litteram
longam, ⟨meum⟩ laqueo collum quando obstrinxero.

[¶14] Now, with my mind at ease, at length I go out of my house,
after I’ve seen that everything is safe in-doors. Now do you return at once into the house (to STAPHYLA), and keep watch in-doors.
STAPHYLA:
Keep watch in-doors upon nothing at all, forsooth! or is it, that no one may carry the house away. For here in our house there’s nothing else for thieves to gain, so filled is it with emptiness and cobwebs.

> Latin: Evclio:
Nunc defaecato demum animo egredior domo,
postquam perspexi salva esse intus omnia.
redi núnciam intro atque intus serva.
Staphyla:
Quippini?
ego intus servem? an ne quis aedes auferat?
nam hic apud nos nihil est aliud quaesti furibus,
ita inaniis sunt oppletae atque araneis.

[¶15] EUCLIO:’Tis a wonder that, for your sake, Jupiter doesn’t now make me a King Philip, or a Darius, you hag of hags. I choose those cobwebs to be watched for me. I am poor, I confess it—I put up with it. What the Gods send, I endure. Go in-doors, shut to the door, I shall be there directly.

> Latin: Evclio:
Mirum quin tua me causa faciat Iuppiter
Philippum regem aut Dareum, trivenefica.
araneas mihi ego illas servari volo.
pauper sum; fateor, patior; quod di dant fero.
abi intro, occlude ianuam. iam ego hic ero.

[¶16] Take you care not to let any strange person into the house.

> Latin: cave quémquam alienum in aedis intro miseris.

[¶17] STAPHYLA:
What if any person asks for fire?
EUCLIO:
I wish it to be put out, that there may be no cause for any one asking it of you. But if the fire shall be kept in, you yourself shall be forthwith extinguished. Then do you say that the water has run out, if any one asks for it.

> Latin: quod quispiam ignem quaerat, extingui volo,
ne causae quid sit quod te quisquam quaeritet.
nam si ignis vivet, tu extinguere extempulo.
tum aquam aufugisse dicito, si quis petet.

[¶18] STAPHYLA:
The knife, the hatchet, the pestle and mortar, utensils that neighbours are always asking the loan of—
EUCLIO:
Say that thieves have come and carried them off. In fact, in my absence, I wish no one to be admitted into my house; and this, too, do I tell you beforehand,
if Good Luck should come, don’t you admit her.

> Latin: cultrum, securim, pistillum, mortarium,
quae utenda vasa semper vicini rogant,
fures venisse atque abstulisse dicito.
profecto in aedis meas me absente neminem
volo intro mitti. atque etiam hoc praedico tibi,
si Bona Fortuna veniat, ne intro miseris.

[¶19] STAPHYLA:
I’ faith, she takes good care, I think, not to be admitted; for though close at hand, she has never come to our house.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Pol ea ipsa credo ne intro mittatur cavet,
nam ad aedis nostras numquam adit, quamquam prope est.

[¶20] EUCLIO:
Hold your tongue, and go in-doors.

> Latin: Evclio:
Tace atque abi intro.

[¶21] STAPHYLA:
I’ll hold my tongue, and be off.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Taceo atque abeo.—

[¶22] EUCLIO:
Shut the door, please, with both bolts. I shall be there directly.
(STAPHYLA goes into the house.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Occlude sis
fores ambobus pessulis. iam ego hic ero.

[¶23] I’m tormented in my mind, because I must go away from my house I’ faith, I go but very unwillingly; but I know full well what I’m about; for the person that is our master of our ward has given notice that he will distribute a didrachm of silver to each man; if I relinquish that, and don’t ask for it, at once I fancy that all
will be suspecting that I’ve got gold at home; for it isn’t very likely that a poor man would despise ever such a trifle, so as not to ask for his piece of money. For as it is, while I am carefully concealing it from all, lest they should know, all seem to know it,
and all salute me more civilly than they formerly used to salute me; they come up to me, they stop, they shake hands; they ask me how I am, what I’m doing, what business I’m about. Now I’ll go there whither I had set out; afterwards, I’ll betake myself back again home as fast as ever I can.
(Enter EUNOMIA and MEGADORUS, from their house.)

> Latin: discrucior animi, quía ab domo abeundum est mihi.
nimis hercle invitus abeo. sed quid agam scio.
nam noster nostrae qui est magister curiae
dividere argenti dixit nummos in viros;
id si relinquo ac non peto, omnes ilico
me suspicentur, credo, habere aurum domi.
nam non est veri simile, hominem pauperem
pauxillum parvi facere quin nummum petat.
nam nunc cum celo sedulo omnis, ne sciant,
omnes videntur scire et me benignius
omnes salutant quam salutabant prius;
adeunt, consistunt, copulantur dexteras,
rogitant me ut valeam, quid agam, quid rerum geram.
nunc quo profectus sum ibo; postidea domum
me rursum quantum potero tantum recipiam.

[¶24] EUNOMIA:
I could wish you, brother, to think that I utter these words by reason of my own regard and your welfare, as is befitting your own sister to do. Although I’m not unaware that we women are accounted troublesome; for we are all of us deservedly considered very talkative,
and, in fact, they say at the present day that not a single woman has been found dumb in any age. Still, brother, do you consider this one circumstance, that I am your nearest relation, and you in like manner are mine. How proper it is that I should counsel and advise you,
and you me, as to what we may judge for the interest of each of us; and for it not to be kept concealed or kept silence upon through apprehension, but rather that I should make you my confidant, and you me in like manner. For that reason, now, have I brought you here apart out of doors, that I might here discourse with you upon your private concerns.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Velím te arbitrári med haéc verba, fráter,
meai fidei tuaique rei
causa facere, ut aequom est germanam sororem.
quamquam haud falsa sum nos odiosas haberi;
nam multum loquaces merito omnes habemur,
nec mutam profecto repertam ullam esse
⟨aut⟩ hodie dicunt mulierem ⟨aut⟩ ullo in saeclo.
verum hoc, frater, unum tamen cogitato,
tibi proximam me mihique esse item te;
ita aequom est quod in rem esse utrique arbitremur
et mihi te et tibi ⟨me⟩ consulere et monere;
neque óccultum id habéri neque pér metúm mussári,
quin participem pariter ego te et tu me ut facias.
eo núnc ego secreto ted huc foras seduxi,
ut tuam rém ego tecum hic loquerer familiarem.

[¶25] MEGADORUS:
Best of women, give me your hand.
(Takes her hand.)
EUNOMIA: (looking about.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Da mi, optuma femina, manum.

[¶26] Where is she? Who, pray, is this best of women?

> Latin: Evnomia:
Vbi ea est? quis ea est nam optuma?

[¶27] MEGADORUS:
Yourself.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Tu.

[¶28] EUNOMIA:
Do you say so?

> Latin: Evnomia:
Túne ais?

[¶29] MEGADORUS:
If you say no, I say no.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Si négas, nego.

[¶30] EUNOMIA:
Indeed, it’s right that the truth should be spoken; for the best of women can nowhere be found;

> Latin: Evnomia:
Decet te équidem vera próloqui;
nam optúma nullá potest eligi:

[¶31] one is only worse than another, brother.
MEGADORUS:
I think the same, and I’m determined never to contradict you on that point, sister. What do you wish?

> Latin: alia ália peior, fráter, est.
Megadorvs:
Idem ego árbitror,
néc tibi advorsari certum est de istac ré umquam, soror.

[¶32] EUNOMIA:
Give me your attention, I beg of you.
MEGADORUS:’Tis at your service; use and command me, please, if you wish for aught.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Dá mihí óperam amabó.
Megadorvs:
Tuast, útere atque
ímpera, si quíd vis.

[¶33] EUNOMIA:
A thing that I consider very greatly for your advantage
I’m come to recommend you.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Íd quod in rém tuam óptumum esse árbitror,
téd id monitum advénto.

[¶34] MEGADORUS:
Sister, you are doing after your usual manner.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Soror, móre tuo facis.

[¶35] EUNOMIA:
I wish it were done.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Fáctum volo.

[¶36] MEGADORUS:
What is it, sister?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quid ést id, sorór?

[¶37] EUNOMIA:
That you may enjoy everlasting blessings in being the father of children.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Quod tibí sempitérnum
salútare sit: liberís procreándis
(ita dí faxint) volo te úxorem
domum dúcere.

[¶38] MEGADORUS:
May the Gods so grant it.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Ei occidí.

[¶39] EUNOMIA:
I wish you to bring home a wife.
MEGADORUS:
Ha! I’m undone.
EUNOMIA:
How so?

> Latin: Evnomia:
Quid ita?

[¶40] MEGADORUS:
Because, sister, your words are knocking out the brains of unfortunate me; you are speaking stones.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quia míhi misero cerebrum éxcutiunt
tua dícta, soror: lapidés loqueris.

[¶41] EUNOMIA:
Well, well, do this that your sister requests you.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Heia, hoc face quod te iubet soror.

[¶42] MEGADORUS:
If she requests me, I will do it.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Si lubeat, faciam.

[¶43] EUNOMIA:’Tis for your own interest.
MEGADORUS:
Yes, for me to die before I marry.

> Latin: Evnomia:
In rem hoc tuam est.
Megadorvs:
Vt quidem emoriar prius quam ducam.

[¶44] Let her who comes here to-morrow, be carried out of the house the day after, sister; on that condition, give me her whom you wish to give; get ready the nuptials.

> Latin: sed hís legibús si quam dáre vis dúcam:
quae crás veniat, peréndie forás feratur;
his legibús dare vís? cedo: nuptiás adorna.

[¶45] EUNOMIA:
I am able, brother, to provide you with a wife with a very large marriage-portion.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Cum máxima possúm tibi, fratér, dare dote;
sed ést grandiór natu: média est múlieris aetas.

[¶46] But she’s somewhat aged; she’s of the middle-age of woman. If you request me, brother, to ask her for you, I’ll ask her.

> Latin: eam sí iubes, fratér, tibi me póscere, poscam.

[¶47] MEGADORUS:
Would you like me to ask you a question?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Núm non vis me intérrogare te?

[¶48] EUNOMIA:
Yes, if you like, ask it.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Ímmo, si quid vís, roga.

[¶49] MEGADORUS:
Suppose any old man, past mid-age, brings home a middle-aged wife, if by chance he should have a child by this old woman, do you doubt at all but that the name of that child is Posthumus, all prepared?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Post mediam aetatem qui media ducit uxorem domum,
si eam senex anum praegnatem fortuito fecerit,
quid dubitas, quin sit paratum nomen puero Postumus?

[¶50] Now, sister, I’ll remove and lessen this labour for you. I, by the merits of the Gods and of my forefathers, am rich enough; these high families, haughty pride, bountiful portions, acclamations, imperiousness, vehicles inlaid with ivory, superb mantles and purple, I can’t abide, things that by their extravagance reduce men to slavery.

> Latin: nunc ego istúm, soror, laborem demam et deminuam tibi.
ego virtute deum et maiorum nostrum dives sum satis.
istas magnas factiones, animos, dotes dapsiles,
clámores, impéria, eburata véhicla, pallas, púrpuram,
nil moror quae in servitutem sumptibus redigunt viros.

[¶51] EUNOMIA:
Tell me, pray, who is she whom you would like to take for a wife?

> Latin: Evnomia:
Dic mihi, quaeso, quis ea est, quam vis ducere uxorem?

[¶52] MEGADORUS:
I’ll tell you. Do you know that Euclio, the poor old man close by?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Eloquar.
nostin hunc senem Euclionem ex proximo pauperculum?

[¶53] EUNOMIA:
I know him; not a bad sort of man, i’ faith.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Novi, hominem haud malum mecastor.

[¶54] MEGADORUS:
I’d like his maiden daughter to be promised me in marriage. Don’t make any words about it, sister; I know what you are going to say; that she’s poor. This poor girl pleases me.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Eius cupio filiam
virginem mihi desponderi. verba ne facias, soror.
scio quid dictura es: hanc esse pauperem. haec pauper placet.

[¶55] EUNOMIA:
May the Gods prosper it.

> Latin: Evnomia:
Di bene vortant.

[¶56] MEGADORUS:
I hope the same.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Idem ego spero.

[¶57] EUNOMIA:
What do you want me now for? Do you wish for anything?

> Latin: Evnomia:
Quid me? num quid vis?

[¶58] MEGADORUS:
Farewell.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Vale.

[¶59] EUNOMIA:
And you the same, brother.
(Goes into the house.)

> Latin: Evnomia:
Et tu, frater.—

[¶60] MEGADORUS:
I’ll go meet Euclio, if he’s at home. But, see! the very person is betaking himself home, whence, I know not.
(Enter EUCLIO.)
EUCLIO: (to himself.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Ego conveniam Eúclionem, si domi est.
sed eccum ⟨video⟩. nescio unde sese homo recipit domum.

[¶61] My mind had a presentiment that I was going to no purpose when I left my house; and therefore I went unwillingly; for neither did any one of the wardsmen come,
nor yet the master of the ward, who ought to have distributed the money. Now I’m making all haste to hasten home; for I myself am here, my mind’s at home.
MEGADORUS: (accosting him.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Praesagibat mi animus frustra me ire, quom exibam domo;
itaque abibam invitus; nam neque quisquam curialium
venit neque magister quem dividere argentum oportuit.
nunc domum properare propero, nam egomet sum hic, animus domi est.

[¶62] May you be well, and ever fortunate, Euclio!

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Salvos atque fortunatus, Euclio, semper sies.

[¶63] EUCLIO:
May the Gods bless you, Megadorus!

> Latin: Evclio:
Di te ament, Megadore.

[¶64] MEGADORUS:
How are you? Are you quite well, and as you wish?
EUCLIO: (aside.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quid tu? recten atque ut vis vales?

[¶65] It isn’t for nothing when a rich man accosts a poor man courteously;

> Latin: Evclio:
Non temerarium est, ubi dives blande appellat pauperem.

[¶66] now this fellow knows that I’ve got some gold; for that reason he salutes me more courteously.

> Latin: iam illic homo aurum scit me habere, eo me salutat blandius.

[¶67] MEGADORUS:
Do you say that you are well?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Ain tu te valere?

[¶68] EUCLIO:
Troth, I’m not very well in the money line.

> Latin: Evclio:
Pol ego haud perbene a pecunia.

[¶69] MEGADORUS:
I’ faith, if you’ve a contented mind, you have enough to passing a good life with.
EUCLIO: (aside.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Pol si est animus aequos tibi, sat hábes qui bene vitam colas.

[¶70] By my faith, the old woman has made a discovery to him about the gold;’tis clear it’s all out. I’ll cut off her tongue, and tear out her eyes, when I get home.

> Latin: Evclio:
Anus hercle huic indicium fecit de auro, perspicue palam est,
cui ego iam linguam praecidam atque oculos effodiam domi.

[¶71] MEGADORUS:
Why are you talking to yourself?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quid tu solus tecum loquere?

[¶72] EUCLIO:
I’m lamenting my poverty; I’ve a grown-up girl without a portion, and one that can’t be disposed of in marriage; nor have I the ability to marry her to anybody.

> Latin: Evclio:
Meam pauperiem conqueror.
virginem habeo grandem, dote cassam atque inlocabilem,
neque eam queo locare cuiquam.

[¶73] MEGADORUS:
Hold your peace; be of good courage, Euclio: she shall be given in marriaye; you shall be assisted by myself. Say, if you have need of aught; command me.
EUCLIO: (aside.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Tace, bonum habe animum, Euclio.
dabitur, adiuvabere a me. dic, si quid opust, impera.

[¶74] Now is he aiming at my property, while he’s making promises; he’s gaping for my gold, that he may devour it;

> Latin: Evclio:
Nunc petit, cum pollicetur; inhiat aurum ut devoret.

[¶75] in the one hand he is carrying a stone. while he shows the bread in the other. I trust no person, who, rich himself, is exceedingly courteous to a poor man; when he extends his hand with a kind air, then is he loading you with some damage. I know these polypi, who, when they’ve touched a thing, hold it fast.

> Latin: altera manu fert lapidem, panem ostentat altera.
nemini credo qui large blandust dives pauperi:
ubi manum inicit benigne, ibi onerat aliqua zamia.
ego istos novi polypos, qui ubi quidquid tetigerunt tenent.

[¶76] MEGADORUS:
Give me your attention, Euclio, for a little time: I wish to address you in a few words,
about a common concern of yours and mine.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Da mi operam parumper. paucis, Euclio, est quod te volo
de communi re appellare mea et tua.

[¶77] EUCLIO: (aside.)
Alas! woe is me! my gold has been grabbed from in-doors: now he’s wishing for this thing, I’m sure, to come to a compromise with me; but I’ll go look in my house.
(He goes towards his door.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Ei misero mihi,
aurum mi intus harpagatum est. nunc hic eam rem volt, scio,
mecum adire ad pactionem. verum intervisam domum.

[¶78] MEGADORUS:
Where are you going?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quo abis?

[¶79] EUCLIO:
I’ll return to you directly, for there’s something I must go and see to at home.
(He goes into his house.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Iam ad te revortar: nunc est quod visam domum.—

[¶80] MEGADORUS:
By my troth, I do believe that when I make mention of his daughter,
for him to promise her to me, he’ll suppose that he’s being laughed at by me; nor is there out of the whole class of paupers one more beggarly than he.
(EUCLIO returns from his house.)
EUCLIO: (aside.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Credo edepol, ubi mentionem ego fecero de filia,
mi ut despondeat, sese a me derideri rebitur;
neque illo quisquam est alter hodie ex paupertate parcior.

[¶81] The Gods do favour me; my property’s all safe. If nothing’s lost, it’s safe. I was very dreadfully afraid, before I went in-doors! I was almost dead! (Aloud.) I’m come back to you, Megadorus, if you wish to say anything tome.
MEGADORUS:
I return you thanks; I beg that as to what I shall enquire of you, you’ll not hesitate to speak out boldly.

> Latin: Evclio:
Di me servant, salva res est. salvom est si quid non perit.
nimis malé timui. prius quam íntro redii, exanimatus fui.
redeo ad te, Megadore, si quid me vis.
Megadorvs:
Habeo gratiam.
quaeso, quod te percontabor, ne id te pigeat proloqui.

[¶82] EUCLIO:
So long, indeed, as you enquire nothing that I mayn’t choose to speak out upon.

> Latin: Evclio:
Dum quidem né quid perconteris quod non lubeat proloqui.

[¶83] MEGADORUS:
Tell me, of what sort of family do you consider me to be sprung?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Dic mihi, quali me arbitrare genere prognatum?

[¶84] EUCLIO:
Of a good one.

> Latin: Evclio:
Bono.

[¶85] MEGADORUS:
What think you as to my character?
EUCLIO:’Tis a good one.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quid fide?
Evclio:
Bona.

[¶86] MEGADORUS:
What of my conduct?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quid factis?

[¶87] EUCLIO:
Neither bad nor dishonest.

> Latin: Evclio:
Neque malis neque improbis.

[¶88] MEGADORUS:
Do you know my years?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Aetatem meam scís?

[¶89] EUCLIO:
I know that they are plentiful, just like your money.

> Latin: Evclio:
Scio esse grandem, item ut pecuniam.

[¶90] MEGADORUS:
I’ faith, for sure I really did always take you to be a citizen without any evil guile, and now I think you so.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Certe edepol equidem te civem sine mala omni malitia
semper sum arbitratus et nunc arbitror.

[¶91] EUCLIO: (aside.)
He smells the gold. (Aloud.) What do you want with me now?

> Latin: Evclio:
Aurum huic olet.
quid nunc me vis?

[¶92] MEGADORUS:
Since you know me, and I know you, what sort of person you are—a thing, that may it bring a blessing on myself, and you and your daughter, I ask your daughter as my wife. Promise me that it shall be so.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quoniam tu me et ego te qualis sis scio,
quae res recte vortat mihique tibique tuaeque filiae,
filiam tuám mi uxorem posco. promitte hoc fore.

[¶93] EUCLIO:
Heyday! Megadorus, you are doing a deed that’s not becoming to your usual actions, in laughing at me, a poor man, and guiltless towards yourself and towards your family. For neither in act, nor in words, have I ever deserved it of you, that you should do what you are now doing.

> Latin: Evclio:
Heia, Megadore, haud decorum facinus tuis factis facis,
ut inopem atque innoxium abs te atque abs tuis me inrideas.
nam de te neque re neque verbis merui ut faceres quod facis.

[¶94] MEGADORUS:
By my troth, I neither am come to laugh at you, nor am I laughing at you, nor do I think you deserving of it.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Neque edepol ego te derisum venio neque derideo,
neque dignum arbitror.

[¶95] EUCLIO:
Why then do you ask for my daughter for your self?

> Latin: Evclio:
Cur igitur poscis meam gnatam tibi?

[¶96] MEGADORUS:
That through me it may be better for you, and through you and yours for me.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Vt propter me tibi sit melius mihique propter te et tuos.

[¶97] EUCLIO:
This suggests itself to my mind, Megadorus, that you are a wealthy man, a man of rank; that I likewise am a person, the poorest of the poor; now, if I should give my daughter in marriage to you, it suggests itself to my mind that you are the ox, and that I am the ass; when I’m yoked to you,
and when I’m not able to bear the burden equally with yourself, I, the ass, must lie down in the mire; you, the ox, would regard me no more than if I had never been born; and I should both find you unjust, and my own class would laugh at me; in neither direction should I have a fixed stall, if there should be any separation; the asses would tear me with their teeth, the oxen would butt at me with their horns.

> Latin: Evclio:
Venit hoc mihi, Megadóre, in mentem, ted esse hominem divitem,
factiosum, me autem esse hominem pauperum pauperrimum;
nunc si filiam locassim meam tibi, in mentem venit
te bovem esse et me esse asellum: ubi tecum coniunctus siem,
ubi onus nequeam ferre pariter, iaceam ego asinus in luto,
tu me bos magis haud respicias, gnatus quasi numquam siem.
et te utar iniquiore ét meus me ordo inrideat,
neutrubi habeam stabile stabulum, si quid divorti fuat:
asini me mordicibus scindant, boves incursent cornibus.

[¶98] This is the great hazard, in my passing over from the asses to the oxen.

> Latin: hoc magnum est periclum, ab asinis ad boves transcendere.

[¶99] MEGADORUS:
The nearer you can unite yourself in alliance with the virtuous, so much the better. Do you receive this proposal, listen to me, and promise her to me.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quam ad probos propinquitate proxime te adiunxeris,
tam optumum est. tu condicionem hanc accipe, ausculta mihi,
atque eam desponde mi.

[¶100] EUCLIO:
But indeed there is no marriage-portion.

> Latin: Evclio:
At nihil est dotis quod dem.

[¶101] MEGADORUS:
You are to give none; so long as she comes with good principles, she is sufficiently portioned.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Ne duas.
dum modó morata recte veniat, dotata est satis.

[¶102] EUCLIO:
I say so for this reason, that you mayn’t be supposing that I have found any treasures.

> Latin: Evclio:
Eo dico, ne me thensauros repperisse censeas.

[¶103] MEGADORUS:
I know that; don’t enlarge upon it. Promise her to me.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Novi, ne doceas. desponde.

[¶104] EUCLIO:
So be it. (Starts and looks about.) But, O Jupiter, am I not utterly undone?

> Latin: Evclio:
Fiat. sed pro Iuppiter,
num égo disperii?

[¶105] MEGADORUS:
What’s the matter with you?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quíd tibi est?

[¶106] EUCLIO:
What was it sounded just now as though it were iron?

> Latin: Evclio:
Quid crepuit quasi ferrum modo?—

[¶107] MEGADORUS:
Here at my place, I ordered them to dig up the garden. (EUCLIO runs off into his house.) But where is this man? He’s off, and he hasn’t fully answered me; he treats me with contempt.
Because he sees that I wish for his friendship, he acts after the manner of mankind. For if a wealthy person goes to ask a favour of a poorer one, the poor man is afraid to treat with him; through his apprehension he hurts his own interest. The same person, when this opportunity is lost, too late, then wishes for it.
EUCLIO: (coming out of the house, addressing STAPHYLA within.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Hic apud me hortúm confodere iussi. sed ubi hic est homo?
abiit neque me certiorem fecit. fastidit mei,
quia videt me suam amicitiam velle: more hominum facit;
nam si opulentus it petitum pauperioris gratiam,
pauper metuit congrediri, per metum male rem gerit.
idem, quando occasio illaec periit, post sero cupit.

[¶108] By the powers, if I don’t give you up to have your tongue cut out by the roots, I order and I authorize you to hand me over to any one you please to be incapacitated.

> Latin: Evclio:
Si hercle ego te non elinguandam dedero usque ab radicibus,
impero auctorque ⟨ego⟩ sum, ut tu me cuivis castrandum loces.

[¶109] MEGADORUS:
By my troth, Euclio, I perceive that you consider me a fit man for you to make sport of in my old age, for no deserts of my own.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Video hercle ego te me arbitrari, Eúclio, hominem idoneum,
quem senecta aetate ludos facias, haud merito meo.

[¶110] EUCLIO:
I’ faith, Megadorus, I am not doing so, nor, should I desire it, had I the means.

> Latin: Evclio:
Neque edepol, Megadore, facio, neque, si cupiam, copia est.

[¶111] MEGADORUS:
How now? Do you then betroth your daughter to me?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Quid nunc? etiam mihi despondes filiam?

[¶112] EUCLIO:
On those terms, and with that portion which I mentioned to you.

> Latin: Evclio:
Illis legibus,
cum illa dote quam tibi dixi.

[¶113] MEGADORUS:
Do you promise her then?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Sponden ergo?

[¶114] EUCLIO:
I do promise her.

> Latin: Evclio:
Spondeo.

[¶115] MEGADORUS:
May the Gods bestow their blessings on it.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Di bene vertant.

[¶116] EUCLIO:
May the Gods so do. Take you care of this, and remember that we’ve agreed, that my daughter is not to bring you any portion.

> Latin: Evclio:
Ita di faxint. illud facito ut memineris,
convenisse ut ne quid dotis mea ad te afferret filia.

[¶117] MEGADORUS:
I remember it.

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Memini.

[¶118] EUCLIO:
But I understand in what fashion you, of your class, are wont to equivocate;

> Latin: Evclio:
At scio quo vos soleatis pacto perplexarier:

[¶119] an agreement is no agreement, no agreement is an agreement, just as it pleases you.

> Latin: pactum non pactum est, non pactum pactum est, quod vobis lubet.

[¶120] MEGADORUS:
I’ll have no misunderstanding with you. But what reason is there why we shouldn’t have the nuptials this day?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Nulla controversia mihi tecum erit. sed nuptias
num quae causa est quin faciamus hodie?

[¶121] EUCLIO:
Why, by my troth, there is very good reason for them.

> Latin: Evclio:
Immo edepol optuma.

[¶122] MEGADORUS:
I’ll go, then, and prepare matters. Do you want me in any way?

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Ibo igitur, parabo. numquid me vis?

[¶123] EUCLIO:
That shall be done. Fare you well.
MEGADORUS: (going to the door of his house and calling out.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Istuc. ei et vale.

[¶124] Hallo! Strobilus, follow me quickly, in all haste, to the fleshmarket.
(Exit MEGADORUS.)
EUCLIO:
He has gone hence. Immortal Gods, I do beseech you! How powerful is gold! I do believe, now, that he has had some intimation that I’ve got a treasure at home; he’s gaping for that; for the sake of that has he persisted in this alliance.
(EUCLIO, alone.)
EUCLIO: (going to the door of his house, he opens it, and calls to STAPHYLA within.)

> Latin: Megadorvs:
Heus, Pythodice, sequere propere me ad macellum strenue.—
Evclio:
Illic hinc abiit. di immortales, obsecro, aurum quid valet.
[credo ego illúm iam inaudivisse mi esse thensaurum domi.]
id inhiat, ea affinitatem hanc obstinavit gratia.

[¶125] Where are you who have now been blabbing to all my neighbours that I’m going to give a portion to my daughter? Hallo! Staphyla, I’m calling you!

> Latin: Evclio:
ubi tu es, quae deblateravisti iam vicinis omnibus,
meae me filiae daturum dotem? heus, Staphyla, te voco.

[¶126] Don’t you hear? Make haste in-doors there, and wash the vessels clean. I’ve promised my daughter in marriage; to-day I shall give her to be married to Megadorus here.
(from the house.)
STAPHYLA: (as she enters.)

> Latin: ecquid audis? vascula intus pure propera atque elue:
filiam despondi ego: hodie huic nuptum Megadoro dabo.

[¶127] May the Gods bestow their blessings on it! But, i’ faith, it cannot be;’tis too sudden.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Di bene vortant. verum ecastor non potest, subitum est nimis.

[¶128] EUCLIO:
Hold your tongue, and be off. Take care that things are ready when I return home from the Forum, and shut the house up. I shall be here directly.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Tace atque abi. curata fac sint cum a foro redeam domum;
atque aedis occlude; iám ego hic adero.—

[¶129] STAPHYLA:
What now am I to do?

> Latin: Staphyla:
Quid ego nunc agam?

[¶130] Now is ruin near at hand for us, both for myself and my master’s daughter; for her disgrace and her delivery are upon the very point of becoming known; that which even until now has been concealed and kept secret, cannot be so now. I’ll go in-doors, that what my master ordered may be done when he comes. But, by my faith, I do fear that I shall have to drink of a mixture of bitterness!
(Exit.) (Enter STROBIOUS, ANTHRAX, and CONGRIO, with MUSIC GIRLS and PERSONS carrying provisions.)
STROBILUS:
After my master had bought the provisions, and hired the cooks and these music- girls in the market-place, he ordered me to divide these provisions into two parts.

> Latin: nunc nobis prope adest exitium, mi atque erili filiae,
nunc probrum atque partitudo prope adest ut fiat palam;
quod celatum atque occultatum est usque adhuc, nunc non potest.
ibo intro, ut erus quae imperavit facta, cum veniat, sient.
nam ecastor malum maerore metuo ne mixtum bibam.—
Pythodicvs:
Postquam óbsonavit erus et conduxit coquos
tibicinasque hasce apud forum, edixit mihi
ut dispertirem obsonium hic bifariam.

[¶131] LYCONIDES:
By my troth, but you really shan’t be dividing me, I tell you plainly. If you wish me to go anywhere whole, I’ll do my best.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Me quidem hercle, dicam ⟨tibi⟩ palam, non divides;
si quo tu totum me ire vis, operam dabo.

[¶132] ANTHRAX:
A very pretty and modest fellow, indeed. As if, when you are a conger by name, you wouldn’t like to be cut into pieces.

> Latin: Congrio:
Bellum et pudicum vero prostibulum popli.
post si quis vellet, te haud non velles dividi.

[¶133] LYCONIDES:
But, Anthrax, I said that in another sense, and not in the one which you are pretending.
STROBILUS:
Now my master’s going to be married to-day.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Atque ego istuc, Anthrax, alio vorsum dixeram,
non istuc quo tu insimulas. sed erus nuptias
meus hodie faciet.

[¶134] ANTHRAX:
Whose daughter is he to marry?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Cuius ducit filiam?

[¶135] STROBILUS:
The daughter of this Euclio, his near neighbour here. For that reason he has ordered half of these provisions here to be presented to him—one cook, and one music-girl likewise.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Vicini huius Euclionis ⟨senis⟩ e proximo.
ei adeo obsoni hinc iussit dimidium dari,
cocum alterum itidemque alteram tibicinam.

[¶136] ANTHRAX:
That is, you take one half to him, the other half home?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Nempe huc dimidium dicis, dimidium domum?

[¶137] STROBILUS:’Tis just as you say.
ANTHRAX:
How’s that? Couldn’t this old fellow provide from his own resources for the wedding of his daughter.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Nempe sícut dicis.
Anthrax:
Quíd? hic non poterat de suo
senex óbsonari filiai nuptiis?

[¶138] STROBILUS:
Pshaw!

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Vah.

[¶139] ANTHRAX:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Quid negotist?

[¶140] STROBILUS:
What’s the matter, do you ask? A pumice stone isn’t so dry as is this old fellow.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Quid negoti sit rogas?
pumex non aeque est aridus atque hic est senex.

[¶141] ANTHRAX:
Do you really say that it is as you affirm?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Ain tandem?

[¶142] STROBILUS:
Do be judge yourself. Why, he’s for ever crying out for aid from Gods and men, that his property has gone, and that he is ruined root and branch,
if the smoke by chance escapes out of doors through the rafters of his house. Why, when he goes to sleep, he ties a bag beneath his gullet.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Ita esse ut dixi. tute existuma: …
suam rem periisse seque eradicarier.
quin divom atque hominum clamat continuo fidem,
de suo tigillo fumus si qua exit foras.
quin cum it dormitum, follem obstringit ob gulam.

[¶143] ANTHRAX:
Why so?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Cur?

[¶144] STROBILUS:
That when he sleeps, he may lose no breath.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Ne quid animae forte amittat dormiens.

[¶145] ANTHRAX:
And does he stop up the lower part of his windpipe as well,
lest, perchance, he should lose any breath as he sleeps?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Etiamne obturat inferiorem gutturem,
ne quid animai forte amittat dormiens?

[¶146] STROBILUS:
In that ’tis as fair that you should credit me, as it is for me to credit you.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Haec mihi te ut tibi med aequom est, credo, credere.

[¶147] ANTHRAX:
Why really, I do believe you.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Immo equidem credo.

[¶148] STROBILUS:
But, further, do you know how it is?

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
At scin etiam quo modo?

[¶149] I’ faith, he grieves to throw away the water when he washes.

> Latin: aquam hercle plorat, cum lavat, profundere.

[¶150] ANTHRAX:
Do you think a great talent
might be begged of this old fellow for him to give us, through which we might become free?

> Latin: Anthrax:
Censen talentum magnum exorari pote
ab istóc sene ut det, qui fiamus liberi?

[¶151] STROBILUS:
By my troth, if you were to ask it, he would never let you have the loan of hunger. Why, the other day, the barber had cut his nails; he collected all the parings, and carried them off.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Famem hercle utendam si roges, numquam dabit.
quin ipsi pridem tonsor unguis dempserat:
collegit, omnia abstulit praesegmina.

[¶152] ANTHRAX:
I’ faith, you do describe a miserably stingy wretch.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Edepol mortalem parce parcum praedicas.

[¶153] LYCONIDES:
But do you think that he does live so very stingily and wretchedly?

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Censen vero esse parcum et misere vivere?

[¶154] STROBILUS:
A kite, the other day, carried off his morsel of food; the fellow went crying to the Praetor; there, weeping and lamenting, he began to request that he might be allowed to compel the kite to give bail.

> Latin: pulmentum pridem éi eripuit miluos:
homo ad praetorem plorabundus devenit;
infit ibi postulare plorans, eiulans,
ut sibi liceret miluom vadarier.

[¶155] There are innumerable other things that I could mention, if I had the leisure. But which of you two is the sharper? Tell me.

> Latin: sescenta sunt quae memorem, si sit otium.
sed uter vestrorum est celerior? memora mihi.

[¶156] LYCONIDES:
I—as being much the better one.
STROBILUS:
A cook I ask for, not a thief.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Ego, et multo melior.
Pythodicvs:
Cocum ego, non furem rogo.

[¶157] LYCONIDES:
As a cook, I mean.
STROBILUS: (to ANTHRAX.)
What do you say?
ANTHRAX:
I’m just as you see me.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Cocum ergo dico.
Pythodicvs:
Quid tu ais?
Congrio:
Sic sum ut vides.

[¶158] LYCONIDES:
He’s a nine-day cook; every ninth day
he’s in the habit of going out to cook.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Cocus ille nundinalest, in nonum diem
solet ire coctum.
Congrio:
Tun, trium litterarum homo,
me vituperas? fur.

[¶159] ANTHRAX:
You, you three-lettered fellow;
do you abuse me, you thief?
LYCONIDES:
To be sure I do, you trebly-distilled thief of thieves.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Etiam fur, trifurcifer.

[¶160] STROBILUS:
Now do you hold your tongue for the present, and, that lamb, whichever is the fatter of the two—
LYCONIDES:
Very well.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Tace nunciam tu, atque agnum hinc uter est pinguior
⟨cape atque abi intro ad nos.⟩
Anthrax:
Licet.—

[¶161] STROBILUS:
Do you, Congrio,
take that, and go in-doors there (pointing to EUCLIO’S house; and (to a MUSIC-GIRL and some of the PEOPLE with provisions) do you follow him;

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Tu, Congrio,
⟨quem illic reliquit agnum,⟩ eum sume atque abi
… intro illuc, et vos illum sequimini.

[¶162] the rest of you this way, to our house.
LYCONIDES:
By my troth, you’ve made an unfair
division; they’ve got the fattest lamb.

> Latin: vos ceteri ite huc ad nos.
Congrio:
Hercle iniuria
dispertivisti: pinguiorem agnum isti habent.

[¶163] STROBILUS:
But the fattest music-girl shall be given you then. Do you, therefore, go along with him, Phrygia. And do you, Eleusium, step in-doors here, to our house.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
At nunc tibi dabitur pinguior tibicina.
i sane cum illo, Phrugia. tu autem, Eleusium,
huc intro abi ad nos.

[¶164] LYCONIDES:
O you crafty Strobilus,
have you pushed me off here upon this most miserly old fellow, where if I ask for anything, I may ask even to hoarseness before anything’s found me?
STROBILUS:’Tis very foolish, and ’tis thanklessly done, to do a service to you, when what you do goes for nothing.

> Latin: Congrio:
O Pythodice subdole,
hucine detrusti me ad senem parcissimum?
ubi si quid poscam, usque ad ravim poscam prius
quam quicquam detur.
Pythodicvs:
Stultus et sine gratia es.
† tibi recte facere, quando quod facias perit.

[¶165] LYCONIDES:
But how so?

> Latin: Congrio:
Qui vero?

[¶166] STROBILUS:
Do you ask? In the first place then, there will be no confusion for you there in the house; if you want anything to use,
bring it from your own home, don’t lose your trouble in asking for it. But here, at our house, there’s great confusion, and a large establishment— furniture, gold, garments, silver vessels. If anything’s lost here (as I know
that you can easily keep hands off—if nothing’s in your way), they may say, “The cooks have stolen it; seize them, bind them, beat them, thrust them in the dungeon”. Nothing of that sort will happen to you, inasmuch as there will be nothing for you to steal. Follow me this way.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Rogitas? iam principio in aedibus
turba istic nulla tibi erit: siquid uti voles,
domo abs te adferto, ne operam perdas poscere.
hic autem apud nos magna turba ac familia est,
supellex, aurum, vestis, vasa argentea:
ibi si perierit quippiam (quod te scio
facile abstinere posse, si nihil obviam est),
dicant: coqui abstulerunt, comprehendite,
vincite, verberate, in puteum condite.
horum tibi istic nihil eveniet: quippe qui
ubi quid subripias nihil est. sequere hac me.

[¶167] LYCONIDES:
I follow.
STROBILUS: (knocking at the door of EUCLIO’S house.)

> Latin: Congrio:
Sequor.

[¶168] Ho, there Staphyla, come out and open the door.
STAPHYLA: (from within.)
Who calls there?

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Heus, Staphyla, prodi atque ostium aperi.
Staphyla:
Qui vocat?

[¶169] STROBILUS:
Strobilus.
(Enter STAPHYLA.)

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Pythodicus.

[¶170] STAPHYLA:
What do you want?

> Latin: Staphyla:
Quid vis?

[¶171] STROBILUS:
For you to take in these cooks, and this music-girl, and these provisions for the wedding. Megadorus bade me take these things to Euclio.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Hos ut accipias coquos
tibicinamque obsoniumque in nuptias.
Megadorus iussit Euclioni haec mittere.

[¶172] STAPHYLA:
Are you about to make this wedding, Strobilus, in honor of Ceres?

> Latin: Staphyla:
Cererin, Pythodice, has sunt facturi nuptias?

[¶173] STROBILUS:
Why?

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Qui?

[¶174] STAPHYLA:
Because I don’t see any wine brought.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Quia temeti nihil allatum intellego.

[¶175] STROBILUS:
Why, that will be brought just now, when he himself comes back from the market.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
At iam afferetur, si a foro ipsus redierit.

[¶176] STAPHYLA:
There’s no firewood here in our house.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Ligna hic apud nos nulla sunt.

[¶177] LYCONIDES:
There are the beams.

> Latin: Congrio:
Sunt asseres?

[¶178] STAPHYLA:
I’ faith, there are.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Sunt pol.

[¶179] LYCONIDES:
There is wood, then; don’t you be seeking it out of doors.

> Latin: Congrio:
Sunt igitur ligna, ne quaeras foris.

[¶180] STAPHYLA:
What, you unpurified fellow, although your business is with the fire,
for the sake of a dinner, or of your own hire, do you request us to set our house on fire?

> Latin: Staphyla:
Quid, impurate? quamquam Volcano studes,
cenaene causa aut tuae mercedis gratia
nos nostras aedis postulas comburere?

[¶181] LYCONIDES:
I don’t ask you.

> Latin: Congrio:
Haud postulo.

[¶182] STROBILUS:
Take them in-doors.

> Latin: Pythodicvs:
Duc istos intro.

[¶183] STAPHYLA:
Follow me.
(They follow her in-doors, and STROBILUS goes with the others into the house of MEGADORUS.) (Enter PYTHODICUS, from the house of MEGADORUS.)
PYTHODICUS:
Mind you your business; I’ll step in and see what the cooks are doing, to observe whom, i’ faith, to-day it is a most laborious task.

> Latin: Staphyla:
Sequimini.—
Pythodicvs:
Curate. ego intervisam quid faciant coqui;
quos pol ut ego hodie servem, cura maxuma est.

[¶184] Unless I manage this one thing, for them to cook the dinner down in the dungeon; thence, when cooked, we might bring it up again in small baskets. But if they should eat below whatever they should cook, those above would go without their dinner, and those below have dined. But here am I chattering, as though I had no business,
when there’s such a pack of thieves in the house.
(Goes into the house.) (Enter EUCLIO, with some chaplets of flowers in his hand.)

> Latin: nisi unum hoc faciam, ut in puteo cenam coquant:
inde cóctam sursum subducemus corbulis.
si aútem deorsum comedent, si quid coxerint,
superi incenati sunt et cenati inferi.
sed verba hic facio, quasi negoti nil siet,
rapacidarum ubi tantum sit in aedibus.

[¶185] EUCLIO:
I wished at length to screw up my courage to-day, so as to enjoy myself at the wedding of my daughter. I come to the market, I enquire about fish; they tell me that it is dear, that lamb is dear, beef is dear,
veal, large fish, and pork, all of them are dear. And for this reason were they still dearer; I hadn’t the money. I came away thence in a rage, since I had nothing wherewithal to make a purchase; and thus did I baulk all those rascals. Then I began to think with myself upon the road,
“If you are guilty of any extravagance on a festive day, you may be wanting on a common day, unless you are saving.” After I disclosed this reasoning to my heart and appetite, my mind came over to my opinion, that I ought to give my daughter in marriage at as little expense as possible.

> Latin: Evclio:
Volui animum tandem confirmare hodie meum,
ut bene me haberem filiai nuptiis.
venio ad macellum, rogito pisces: indicant
caros; agninam caram, caram bubulam,
vitulinam, cetum, porcinam: cara omnia.
atque eo fuerunt cariora, aes non erat.
abeo íratus illinc, quoniam nihil est qui emam.
ita illís impuris omnibus adii manum.
deinde egomet mecum cogitare intervias
occepi: festo die si quid prodegeris,
profesto egere liceat, nisi peperceris.
postquam hanc rationem ventri cordique edidi,
accessit animus ad meam sententiam,
quam minimo sumptu filiam ut nuptum darem.

[¶186] Now I’ve bought a bit of frankincense, and these chaplets of flowers; these shall be placed upon the hearth for our household God, that he may grant a propitious marriage to my daughter. But what do I—? Do I behold my house open? There’s a noise, too, within; is it that I’m robbed, wretch that I am?
LYCONIDES: (speaking within the house.)

> Latin: nunc tusculum emi hoc et coronas floreas:
haec imponentur in foco nostro Lari,
ut fortunatas faciat gnatae nuptias.
sed quid ego apertas aedis nostras conspicor?
et strepitust intus. numnam ego compilor miser?

[¶187] Seek of the neighbours a bigger pot if you can; this one’s too little, it can’t hold it.
EUCLIO:
Woe to me! By my faith, I’m a dead man; the gold’s being carried off—my pot’s being looked for. I am certainly murdered, unless I make haste to run with all haste in-doors here! Apollo, prithee do assist and help me, whom thou hast already, before this, helped in such circumstances.
Pierce with thine arrows the plunderers of my treasures. But am I delaying to run, before I perish outright.
(He runs into his house.) (Enter ANTHRAX, from the house of MEGADORUS.)
ANTHRAX: (speaking to some within.)

> Latin: Congrio:
Aulam maiorem, si pote, ex vicinia
pete: haec est parva, capere non quit.
Evclio:
Ei mihi,
perii hercle. aúrum rapitur, aula quaeritur.
[nímirum occidor, nisi ego intro huc propere propero currere.]
Apollo, quaeso, subveni mi atque adiuva,
confige ságittis fures thensaurarios,
⟨si⟩ cui in re tali iam subvenisti antidhac.
sed cesso prius quam prorsus perii currere?

[¶188] Dromo, do you scale the fish. Do you, Machaerio, have the conger and the lamprey boned.

> Latin: Anthrax:
Dromo, desquama piscis. tu, Machaerio,
congrum, murenam exdorsua quantum potest.

[¶189] I’m going to ask the loan of a baking-pan of our neighbour Congrio. You, if you are wise, will have that capon more smoothly picked for me than is a plucked play-actor. But what’s this clamour that’s arising here hard by? By my faith, the cooks, I do believe, are at their usual pranks.

> Latin: ego hinc artoptam ex proximo utendam peto
a Congrione. tu istum gallum, si sapis,
glabriorem reddes mihi quam volsus ludiust.
sed quid hoc clamoris oritur hinc ex proximo?
coqui hercle, credo, faciunt officium suom.

[¶190] I’ll run in-doors, lest there may be any disturbance here for me as well.
(Retreats into the house of MEGADORUS.) (Enter CONGRIO, in haste, from the house of EUCLIO.)
LYCONIDES: (roaring out.)
Beloved fellow-citizens, fellow-countrymen, inhabitants, neighbours, and all strangers, do make way for me to escape! Make all the streets clear! Never have I at any time, until this day, come to Bacchants, in a Bacchanalian den, to cook; so sadly have they mauled wretched me and my scullions with their sticks.

> Latin: fugiam intro, ne quid turbae hic itidem fuat.
Congrio:
†Óptati vires populares, íncolae, accolae, ádvenae omnes,
date viam qua fugere liceat, facite totae plateae pateant.
neque ego umquam nisi hodie ad Bacchas veni in Bacchanal coquinatum,
ita me miserum et meos discipulos fustibus male contuderunt.

[¶191] I’m aching all over, and am utterly done for; that old fellow has so made a bruising school of me; and in such a fashion has he turned us all out of the house, myself and them, laden with sticks. Nowhere, in all the world, have I ever seen wood dealt out more plentifully. Alackaday! by my faith, to my misery, I’m done for; the Bacchanalian den is opening, here he comes. He’s following us. I know the thing I’ll do: that the master himself has taught me.
(Enter EUCLIO, from his house, driving the COOKS and the MUSIC GIRL before him.)
EUCLIO: (calling out, while CONGRIO and the others are running off)
Come back! Where are you running to, now? Hold you!

> Latin: totús doleo atque oppidó perii, ita me íste habuit senex gýmnasium;
áttat, perii hercle ego miser,
áperit bacchanal, adest,
séquitur. scio quam rem geram: hoc
ipsús magistér me dócuit.
neque lígna ego usquam gentium praebéri vidi púlchrius,
itaque ómnis exegit foras, me atque hos, onustos fustibus.
Evclio:
Redi. quó fugis nunc? téne, tene.

[¶192] LYCONIDES:
Why are you crying out, you stupid?

> Latin: Congrio:
Quid, stólide, clamas?

[¶193] EUCLIO:
Because this instant I shall give your name to the Triumvirs.

> Latin: Evclio:
Quia ad trís viros iam ego déferam nomén tuom.

[¶194] LYCONIDES:
Why?

> Latin: Congrio:
Quam ob rem?

[¶195] EUCLIO:
Because you’ve got a knife.
LYCONIDES:’Tis the proper thing for a cook.

> Latin: Evclio:
Quia cultrum habes.
Congrio:
Cocum decet.

[¶196] EUCLIO:
Why did you threaten me?

> Latin: Evclio:
Quid comminatus escomminatu's
mihi?

[¶197] LYCONIDES:
I think that it was badly managed, that I didn’t pierce your side with it.

> Latin: Congrio:
Istud male factum arbitror, quia nón latus fódi.

[¶198] EUCLIO:
There’s not a person that’s living this day a greater rascal than you,
nor one to whom designedly I would with greater pleasure cause a mischief.

> Latin: Evclio:
Homo nullust te scelestior qui vivat hodie,
neque quoi égo de industria ámplius male plús libens fáxim.

[¶199] LYCONIDES:
I’ faith, though you should hold your noise, really that’s quite clear; the thing itself is its own witness. As it is, I’m made softer by far with your sticks than any ballet-dancer. But what right have you to touch us, you beggarman? What’s the matter?

> Latin: Congrio:
Pol etsí taceas, palam id quidem est: res ipsa testist;
ita fustibus sum mollior magis quam úllus cinaédus.
sed quid tibi nos tactiost, mendice homo?

[¶200] EUCLIO:
Do you even ask me? Is it that I’ve done less than I ought to have done? Only let me—
(Is going to strike him.)

> Latin: Evclio:
Quae res?
etiam rogitas? an quia minus quam aéquom erat feci?

[¶201] LYCONIDES:
Now, by my faith, at your great peril, if this head should feel it!

> Latin: Congrio:
Sine, at hércle cum magnó malo tuo, si hóc caput séntit.

[¶202] EUCLIO:
Troth, I don’t know what may happen hereafter; your head feels it just now! But what business, pray, had you in my house, in my absence, unless I had ordered you? I want to know that.

> Latin: Evclio:
Pol ego haud scio quid post fuat: tuom núnc caput séntit.
sed in aedibus quid tibi meis nam erat negoti
me absente, nisi ego iusseram? volo scíre.

[¶203] LYCONIDES:
Hold your noise, then; because we came to cook for the wedding.

> Latin: Congrio:
Tace érgo.
quia venimus coctum ad nuptias.

[¶204] EUCLIO:
Why the plague do you trouble yourself
whether I eat meat raw or cooked, unless you are my tutor.

> Latin: Evclio:
Quid tu, malum, cúras,
utrum crudum an coctum ego edim, nisi tu mi es tutor?

[¶205] LYCONIDES:
I want to know if you will allow or not allow us to cook the dinner here?

> Latin: Congrio:
Volo scire, sínas an non sinas nos coquere hic cenam?

[¶206] EUCLIO:
I, too, want to know whether my property will be safe in my house.

> Latin: Evclio:
Volo scire ego item, meae domi mean sálva futura?

[¶207] LYCONIDES:
I only wish to carry the things away safe that I brought here! I don’t care for yours; should I be coveting your things?

> Latin: Congrio:
Vtinam mea mihi modo auferam, quae ádtuli, salva: