HEGIO:Most wrongfully.
Hegio:Pessume.
TYNDARUS:But I, who disagree with you, say, rightly. For consider, if any slave of yours had done this for your son, what thanks you would have given him. Would you have given that slave his freedom or not? Would not that slave have been in highest esteem with you?
Tyndarvs:At ego aio recte, qui abs te sorsum sentio.nam cogitato, si quis hoc gnato tuotuos servos faxit, qualem haberes gratiam?emitteresne necne eum servom manu?essetne apud te is servos acceptissimus?
Answer me that.HEGIO:I think so.
responde.Hegio:Opinor.
TYNDARUS:Why, then, are you angry with me?
Tyndarvs:Cur ergo iratus mihi es?
HEGIO:Because you have proved more faithful to him than to myself.
Hegio:Quia illi fuisti quam mihi fidelior.
TYNDARUS:How now? Did you expect, in a single night and day, for yourself to teach me—a person just made captive, a recent slave, and in his noviciate—that I should rather consult your interest than his,with whom from childhood I have passed my life?
Tyndarvs:Quid? tu una nocte postulavisti et dierecens captum hominem, nuperum novicium,te perdocere ut melius consulerem tibi,quam illi, quicum una ⟨a⟩ puero aetatem exegeram?
HEGIO:Seek, then, thanks from him for that. (To the SLAVES.) Take him where he may receive weighty and thick fetters, thence, after that, you shall go to the quarries for cutting stone. There, while the others are digging out eight stones, unlessyou daily do half as much work again, you shall have the name of the six-hundred-stripe man.
Hegio:Ergo ab eo petito gratiam istam. ducite,ubi ponderosas crassas capiat compedes.inde ibis porro in latomias lapidarias.ibi quom alii octonos lapides effodiunt, nisicotidiano sesquiopus confeceris,Sescentoplago nomen indetur tibi.
ARISTOPHONTES:By Gods and men, I do entreat you, Hegio, not to destroy this man.
Aristophontes:Per deos atque homines ego te obtestor, Hegio,ne tu istunc hominem perduis.
HEGIO:He shall be taken all care of For at night, fastened with chains, he shall be watched;in the daytime, beneath the ground, he shall be getting out stone. For many a day will I torture him; I’ll not respite him for a single day.
Hegio:Curabitur;nam noctu nervo vinctus custodibitur,interdius sub terra lapides eximet:diu ego húnc cruciabo, non uno absolvam die.
ARISTOPHONTES:Is that settled by you?
Aristophontes:Certumne est tíbi istuc?
HEGIO:Not more settled that I shall die. (To the SLAVES.) Take him away this instant to Hippolytus, the blacksmith; bid thick fetters to be rivetted on him.
Hegio:Non moriri certius.abducite istum actutum ad Hippolytum fabrum,iubete huic crassas compedes impingier;
From there let him be led outside the gate to my freedman, Cordalus, at the stone-quarries. And tell him that I desire this man so to be treated, that he mayn’t be in any respect worse off than he who is the most severely treated.
inde extra portam ad meum libertum Cordalumin lapicidinas facite deductus siet:atque hunc me velle dicite ita curarier,ne qui deterius huic sit quam cui pessume est.
TYNDARUS:Why, since you are unwilling, do I desire myself to survive?
Tyndarvs:Cur ego te invito me esse salvom postulem?
At your own hazard is the risk of my life. After death, no evil have I to apprehend in death. Though I should live even to extreme age, still, short is the space for enduring what you threaten me with. Farewell and prosper although you are deserving for me to say otherwise.
periclum vitae meae tuo stat periculo.post mortem in morte nihil est quod metuam mali.etsi pervivo usque ad summam aetatem, tamenbreve spatium est perferundi quae minitas mihi.vale atque salve, etsi aliter ut dicam meres.
You, Aristophontes, as you have deserved of me, so fare you; for on your account has this befallen me.HEGIO: (to the SLAVES.)Carry him off.
tu, Aristophontes, de me ut meruisti, ita vale;nam mihi propter te hoc optigit.Hegio:Abducite.
TYNDARUS:But this one thing I beg, that, if Philocrates should come back here, you will give me an opportunity of meeting him.HEGIO: (to the SLAVES.)
Tyndarvs:At unum hoc quaeso, si huc rebitet Philocrates,ut mi eius facias conveniundi copiam.
At your peril, if you don’t this instant remove him from my sight.(The SLAVES lay hold of TYNDARUS, and push him along.)
Hegio:Periistis, nisi hunc iam e conspectu abducitis.
TYNDARUS:I’ troth, this really is violence, to be both dragged and pushed at the same time. (He is borne off by the SLAVES.)
Tyndarvs:Vis haec quidem hercle est, et trahi et trudi simul.—
HEGIO:He has been led off straight to prison as he deserves. Let no one presume to attempt such an enterprise. Had it not been for you who discovered this to me,still would they have been leading me by the bridle with their tricks. Now am I resolved henceforth never to trust any person in anything. This once I have been deceived enough; I did hope, to my sorrow, that I had rescued my son from slavery. That hope has forsaken me. I lost one son,whom, a child in his fourth year, a slave stole from me; and, indeed, never since have I found either slave or son; the elder one has fallen in the hands of the enemy. What guilt is this of mine? As though I had become the father of children for the purpose of being childless. (To AISTOPHONTES.) Follow this way. I’ll conduct you back where you were.I’m determined to have pity upon no one, since no one has pity upon me.
Hegio:Illic ést abductus recta in phylacam, ut dignus est.ego illís captivis aliis documentum dabo,ne tale quisquam facinus incipere audeat.quod absque hoc esset, qui mihi hoc fecit palam,usque offrenatum suis me ductarent dolis.nunc certum est nulli posthac quicquam credere.satis súm semel deceptus. speravi miserex servitute me exemisse filium:ea spes elapsa est. perdidi unum filium,puerum quadrimum quem mihi servos surpuit,neque eum servom umquam repperi neque filium;maior potitus hostium est. quod hoc ést scelus?quasi in orbitatem liberos produxerim.sequere hac. reducam te ubi fuisti. neminismiserere certum est, quia mei miseret neminem.—
ARISTOPHONTES:Forth from my chains with evil omen did I come; now I perceive that with like ill omen to my bonds I must return.(Exeunt.) (Enter ERGASILUS
Aristophontes:Exauspicavi ex vinclis. nunc intellegoredauspicandum esse in catenas denuo.—
ERGASILUS:Supreme Jove! thou dost preserve me, and dost augment my means. Plenty, extreme and sumptuous, dost thou present to me;celebrity, profit, enjoyment, mirth, festivity, holidays, sights, provisions, carousings, abundance, joyousness. And to no man have I now determined with myself to go a-begging; for I’m able either to profit my friend or to destroy my enemy, to such extent has this delightful day heaped delights upon me in its delightfulness.
Ergasilvs:Iúppiter supreme, servas me measque auges opes,máximas opimitates opiparasque offers mihi,laudém lucrum, ludum iocum, festivitatem ferias,pompám penum, potationis saturitatem, gaudium,néc cuiquam homini supplicare … nunc certum est mihi;nam vél prodesse amico possum vel inimicum perdere,ita híc me amoenitate amoena amoenus oneravit dies.
I have lighted upon a most rich inheritance without incumbrances. Now will I wend my way to this old gentleman Hegio, to whom I am carrying blessings as great as he himself prays for from the Gods, and even greater. Now, this is my determination, in the same fashion that the slaves of Comedy are wont, so will I throw my cloak around my neck, that from me, the first of all, he may learn this matter.
síne sacris hereditatem sum aptus effertissimam.nunc ád senem cursum capessam hunc Hegionem, cui bonitantum affero quantum ipsus a dis optat, atque etiam amplius.nunc cérta res est, eodem pacto ut comici servi solentconíciam in collum pallium, primo ex med hanc rem ut audiat;
And I trust that I, by reason of this news, shall find provision up to the end.(Enter HEGIO, at a distance.)HEGIO: (to himself.)
speróque me ob hunc nuntium aetérnum adepturum cibum.
The more that I revolve this matter in my breast, the more is my uneasiness of mind increased. That I should have been duped in this fashion to-day! and that I wasn’t able to see through it!
Hegio:Quanto ín pectore hánc rem meó magis volúto,tanto mi aegritudo auctiór est in animo.ad illum modum sublitum os esse mi hodie!neque íd perspicere quivi.
When this shall be known, then I shall be laughed at all over the city. The very moment that I shall have reached the Forum, all will be saying, “This is that clever old gentleman, who had the trick played him.” But is this Ergasilus, that I see coming at a distance? Surely he has got his cloak gathered up; what, I wonder, is he going to do?ERGASILUS: (advancing, and talking to himself.)
quod cúm scibitúr, ⟨tum⟩ per úrbem inridébor.cum extemplo ad forum advenero, omnes loquentur:“hic illest senex doctus, quoi verba data sunt.”sed Ergasilus estne hic, procúl quem video?conlécto quidem est pallio. quidnam acturust?
Throw aside from you all tardiness, Ergasilus, and speed on this business. I threaten, and I strictly charge no person to stand in my way, unless any one shall be of opinion that he has lived long enough. For whoever does come in my way, shall stop me upon his face.(He runs along, flourishing his arms about.)HEGIO: (to himself.)This fellow’s beginning to box.ERGASILUS: (to himself.)
Ergasilvs:Move áps te moram átque, Ergásile, age hanc rem.éminor interminorque, ne mi obstiterit obviamnisi quis satis diu vixisse sese homo arbitrabitur.nam qui obstiterit, ore sistet.Hegio:Hic homo pugilatum incipit.
I’m determined to do it; so that every one may pursue his own path,let no one be bringing any of his business in this street; for my fist is a balista, my arm is my catapulta, my shoulder a battering-ram; then against whomsoever I dart my knee, I shall bring him to the ground. I’ll make all persons to be picking up their teeth, whomsoever I shall meet with.HEGIO: (to himself.)
Ergasilvs:Facere certumst. proinde ita omnes itinera insistant sua,ne quis in hanc plateam negoti conferat quicquam sui.nam meus est ballista pugnus, cubitus catapultast mihi,umerus aries, tum genu quemque icero ad terram dabo,dentilegos omnes mortales faciam, quemque offendero.
What threatening is this? For I cannot wonder enough.
Hegio:Quae illaec eminatiost nam? nequeo mirari satis.
ERGASILUS:I’ll make him always to remember this day and place, and myself as well. Whoever stops me upon my road, I’ll make him put a stop to his own existence.HEGIO: (to himself.)
Ergasilvs:Faciam ut huius diei locique meique semper meminerit.[Qui mihi in cursu opstiterit, faxo vitae is extemplo opstiterit suae.]
What great thing is this fellow preparing to do, with such mighty threats?
Hegio:Quid hic homo tantum incipissit facere cum tantis minis?
ERGASILUS:I first give notice, that no one, by reason of his own fault, may be caught—keep yourselves in-doors at home, and guard yourselves from my attack.HEGIO: (to himself.)
Ergasilvs:Prius edico, ne quis propter culpam capiatur suam:continete vos domi, prohibete a vobis vim meam.
By my faith, ‘tis strange if he hasn’t got this boldness by means of his stomach. Woe to that wretched man, through whose cheer this fellow has become quite swaggering.
Hegio:Mira edepol sunt, ní hic in ventrem sumpsit confidentiam.vae misero illi, cuius cibo iste factust imperiosior.
ERGASILUS:Then the bakers, that feed swine, that fatten their pigs upon refuse bran, through the stench of which no one can pass by a baker’s shop; if I see the pig of any one of them in the public way,I’ll beat the bran out of the masters’ themselves with my fists.HEGIO: (to himself.)
Ergasilvs:Tum pistores scrofipasci, quí alunt furfuribus sues,quarum odore praeterire nemo pistrinum potest:eorum si quoiusquam scrofam in publico conspexero,ex ipsis dominis meis pugnis exculcabo furfures.
Royal and imperial edicts does he give out. The fellow is full; he certainly has his boldness from his stomach.
Hegio:Basilicas edictiones atque imperiosas habet:satur homost, habet profecto in ventre confidentiam.
ERGASILUS:Then the fishmongers, who supply stinking fish to the public—who are carried about on a gelding, with his galloping galling pace —the stench of whom drives all the loungers in the Basilica into the Forum, I’ll bang their heads with their bulrush fish-baskets, that they may understand what annoyance they cause to the noses of other people. And then the butchers, as well, who render the sheep destitute of their young—who agree with you about killing lamb, and then offer you lamb at double the price—who give the name of wether mutton to a ram—if I should only see that ram in the public way, I’ll make both ram and owner most miserable beings.HEGIO: (to hieiself.)
Ergasilvs:Tum piscatores, qui praebent populo pisces foetidos,qui advehuntur quadrupedanti crucianti cantherio,quorum odos subbasilicanos omnes abigit in forum,eis ego ora verberabo surpiculis piscariis,ut sciant, alieno naso quam exhibeant molestiam.tum lanii autem, qui concinnant liberis orbas oves,qui locant caedundos agnos et duplam agninam danunt,qui petroni nomen indunt verveci sectario,eum ego si in via petronem publica conspexero,et petronem et dominum reddam mortales miserrumos.
Well done! He really does give out edicts fit for an Aedile, and ‘tis indeed a surprising thing if the Aetolians haven’t made him inspector of markets.
Hegio:Eugepae, edictiones aedilicias hic quidem habet,mirumque adeost ni hunc fecere sibi Aetóli agoranomum.
ERGASILUS:No Parasite now am I, but a right royal king of kings; so large a stock of provision for my stomach is there at hand in the harbour. But why delay to overwhelm this old gentleman Hegio with gladness? With him, not a person among mankind exists equally fortunate.HEGIO: (apart.)
Ergasilvs:Non ego nunc parasitus sum, sed regum rex regalior,tantus ventri commeatus meo adest in portu cibus.sed ego cesso hunc Hegionem onerare laetitia senem,quó homine ⟨hominum⟩ adaeque nemo vivit fortunatior?
What joy is this, that he, thus joyous, is going to impart to me?ERGASILUS: (knocking at HEGIO’S door.)
Hegio:Quae illaec est laetitia, quam illic laetus largitur mihi?
Hallo, hallo!—where are you? Is any one coming to open this door?HEGIO: (apart.)
Ergasilvs:Heus ubi estis? ecquis ⟨hic est? ecquis⟩ hoc aperit ostium?
This fellow’s betaking himself to my house to dine.ERGASILUS:Open you both these doors, before I shall with knocking cause the destruction, piecemeal, of the doors.HEGIO: (apart.)
Hegio:Hic homo ad cenam recipit se ad me.Ergasilvs:Áperite hasce ambas foresprius quam pultando assulatim foribus exitium adfero.
I’d like much to address the fellow. (Aloud.) Ergasilus!ERGASILUS:Who’s calling Ergasilus?
Hegio:Perlúbet hunc hominem colloqui. Ergásile.Ergasilvs:Ergasilum qui vocat?
HEGIO:Turn round, and look at me.
Hegio:Respíce.
ERGASILUS: (not seeing who it is.)A thing that Fortune does not do for you, nor ever will do, you bid me to do.
Ergasilvs:Fortuna quod tibi nec fácit nec faciet, me iubes.
But who is it.HEGIO:Look round at me.’Tis Hegio.
séd quis est?Hegio:Réspice ad me, Hégio sum.
ERGASILUS: (turning round.)O me! Best of the very best of men, as many as exist, you have arrived opportunely.
Ergasilvs:Óh mihi,quántum est hominum óptumorum óptume, in témpore advenis.
HEGIO:You’ve met with some one at the harbour to dine with; through that you are elevated.
Hegio:Nescío quem ad portum náctus es ubi cénes, eo fastídis.
ERGASILUS:Give me your hand.
Ergasilvs:Cédo manum.
HEGIO:My hand?
Hegio:Manum?
ERGASILUS:Give me your hand, I say, this instant.
Ergasilvs:Manum, inquam, cedo tuam actutum.
HEGIO:Take it.(Giving him his hand.)
Hegio:Tene.
ERGASILUS:Rejoice.
Ergasilvs:Gaude.
HEGIO:Why should I rejoice?
Hegio:Quid ego gaudeam?
ERGASILUS:Because I bid you; come now, rejoice.
Ergasilvs:Quia ego impero, age gaude modo.
HEGIO:I’ faith, my sorrows exceed my rejoicings.ERGASILUS:’Tis not so, as you shall find; I’ll at once drive away every spot of sorrow from your body. Rejoice without restraint.
Hegio:Pol maerores mi antevortunt gaudiis.Ergasilvs:[Noli irascier]iám ego ex corpore exigam omnis maculas maerorum tibi.gaude audacter.
HEGIO:I do rejoice, although I don’t at all know why I should rejoice.
Hegio:Gaudeo, etsi nil scio quod gaudeam.
ERGASILUS:You do rightly; now order—
Ergasilvs:Bene facis. iubé—
HEGIO:Order what?
Hegio:Quid iubeam?
ERGASILUS:A large fire to be made.
Ergasilvs:Ignem ingentem fieri.
HEGIO:A large fire?
Hegio:Ignem ingentem?
ERGASILUS:So I say, that a huge one it must be.
Ergasilvs:Ita dico, magnus ut sit.
HEGIO:What, you vulture, do you suppose that for your sake I’m going to set my house on fire?
Hegio:Quid? me, volturi,tuan causa aedis incensurum censes?
ERGASILUS:Don’t be angry. Will you order, or will you not order, the pots to be put on, and the saucepans to be washed out, the bacon and the dainties to be made warm in the heated cooking-stoves, another one, too, to go purchase the fish?
Ergasilvs:Noli irascier.iuben an non iubes astitui aúlas, patinas elui,† laridum atque epulas foveri foculis ferventibus?alium pisces praestinatum abire?
HEGIO:This fellow’s dreaming while awake.
Hegio:Hic vigilans somniat.
ERGASILUS:Another to buy pork, and lamb, and pullets.
Ergasilvs:Alium porcinam atque agninam et pullos gallinaceos?
HEGIO:You understand how to feed well, if you had the means.
Hegio:Scis bene esse, si sit unde.
ERGASILUS:Gammons of bacon, too, and lampreys, spring pickled tunny-fish, mackerel, and sting-ray; large fish, too, and soft cheese.
Ergasilvs:† Pernam atque ophthalmiam,horaeum, scombrum et trygonum et cetum, et mollem caseum?
HEGIO:You will have more opportunity, Ergasilus, here at my house, of talking about these things than of eating them.
Hegio:Nominandi istorum tibi erit magis quam edundi copiahic apud me, Ergasile.
ERGASILUS:Do you suppose that I’m saying this on my own account?
Ergasilvs:Mean me causa hoc censes dicere?
HEGIO:You will neither be eating nothing here to-day, nor yet much more than usual, so don’t you be mistaken.
Hegio:Nec nihil hodie nec multo plus tu hic edes, ne frustra sis.
Do you then bring an appetite to my house for your every-day fare.
proin tu tui cottidiani victi ventrem ad me afferas.
ERGASILUS:Why, I’ll so manage it, that you yourself shall wish to be profuse, though I myself should desire you not.
Ergasilvs:Quin ita faciam, ut ⟨tu⟩te cupias facere sumptum, etsi ego vetem.
HEGIO:What, I?
Hegio:Egone?
ERGASILUS:Yes, you.
Ergasilvs:Tune.
HEGIO:Then you are my master.
Hegio:Tum tu mi igitur erus es.
ERGASILUS:Yes, and a kindly disposed one. Do you wish me to make you happy?
Ergasilvs:Immo benevolens.vin te faciam fortunatum?
HEGIO:Certainly I would, rather than miserable.
Hegio:Malim quam miserum quidem.
ERGASILUS:Give me your hand.
Ergasilvs:Cedo manum.
HEGIO: (extending his hand.)Here is my hand.
Hegio:Em manum.
ERGASILUS:All the Gods are blessing you.
Ergasilvs:Di te omnes adiuvant.
HEGIO:I don’t feel it so.
Hegio:Nil sentio.
ERGASILUS:Why, you are not in a quickset hedge, therefore you don’t feel it; but order the vessels, in a clean state, to be got for you forthwith in readiness for the sacrifice, and one lamb to be brought here with all haste, a fat one.
Ergasilvs:Non enim es in senticeto, eo non sentis. sed iubevasa tibi pura apparari ád rem divinam cito,atque agnum afferri proprium pinguem.
ERGASILUS:That you may offer sacrifice
Ergasilvs:Vt sacrufices.
HEGIO:To which one of the Gods?
Hegio:Cui deorum?
ERGASILUS:To myself, i’ faith, for now am I your supreme Jupiter. I likewise am your salvation, your fortune, your life, your delight, your joy.
Ergasilvs:Mi hercle, nam égo nunc tibi sum summus Iuppiter,idem ego sum Salus, Fortuna, Lux, Laetitia, Gaudium.
Do you at once, then, make this Divinity propitious to you by cramming him.
proin tu deum hunc saturitate facias tranquillum tibi.
HEGIO:You seem to me to be hungry.
Hegio:Esurire mihi videre.
ERGASILUS:For myself am I hungry, and not for you.
Ergasilvs:Mi quidem esurio, non tibi.
HEGIO:I readily allow of it at your own good will.
Hegio:Tuo arbitratu, facile patior.
ERGASILUS:I believe you; from a boy you were in the habit—
Ergasilvs:Credo, consuetu's consuetus es puer.
HEGIO:May Jupiter and the Gods confound you.
Hegio:Iuppiter te dique perdant.
ERGASILUS:I’ troth, ‘tis fair that for my news you should return me thanks; such great happiness do I now bring you from the harbour.
Ergasilvs:Te hercle—mi aequom est gratiasagere ob nuntium; tantum ego nunc porto a portu tibi boni:
HEGIO:Now you are flattering me.Begone, you simpleton; you have arrived behind time, too late.
nunc tu mihi places.Hegio:Abi, stultu's stultus es, sero post tempus venis.
ERGASILUS:If I had come sooner, then for that reason you might rather have said that. Now, receive this joyous news of me which I bring you; for at the harbour I just now saw your son Philopolemus in the common fly-boat, alive, safe and sound, and likewise there that other young man together with him,and Stalagmus your slave, who fled from your house, who stole from you your little son, the child of four years old.
Ergasilvs:Igitur olim si advenissem, magis tu tum istuc diceres;nunc hanc laetitiam accipe a me, quam fero. nam filiumtuom modo in portu Philopolemum vivom, salvom et sospitemvidi in publica celoce, ibidémque illum adulescentulumAleum una et tuom Stalagmum servom, qui aufugit domo,qui tibi surripuit quadrimum puerum filiolum tuom.
HEGIO:Away with you to utter perdition! You are trifling with me.
Hegio:Abi in malam rem, ludis me.
ERGASILUS:So may holy Gluttony love me, Hegio, and so may she ever dignify me with her name, I did see—
Ergasilvs:Ita me amabit sancta Saturitas,Hegio, itaque suo me semper condecoret cognomine,ut ego vidi.
HEGIO:My son?
Hegio:Meum gnatum?
ERGASILUS:Your son, and my good Genius.
Ergasilvs:Tuom gnatum et genium meum.
HEGIO:That Elean captive, too?
Hegio:Et captivom illum Alidensem?
ERGASILUS:Yes, by Apollo
Ergasilvs:μὰ τὸν Ἀπόλλω.
HEGIO:The slave, too? My slave Stalagmus, he that stole my son—?
Hegio:Et servolummeum Stalagmum, meum qui gnatum surripuit?
ERGASILUS:Yes, by Cora.
Ergasilvs:ναὶ τὰν κόραν.
HEGIO:So long a time ago?
Hegio:Iam credo?
ERGASILUS:Yes, by Praeneste!
Ergasilvs:ναὶ τὰν πραινέστην.
HEGIO:Is he arrived?
Hegio:Venit?
ERGASILUS:Yes, by Signia!
Ergasilvs:ναὶ τὰν σιγνίαν.
HEGIO:For sure?
Hegio:Certon?
ERGASILUS:Yes, by Phrysinone!
Ergasilvs:ναὶ τὸν φρουσινῶνα.
HEGIO:Have a care, if you please.
Hegio:Vide sis.
ERGASILUS:Yes, by Alatrium!
Ergasilvs:ναὶ τὸν Ἀλάτριον.
HEGIO:Why are you swearing by foreign cities?
Hegio:Quid tu per barbaricas urbes iuras?
ERGASILUS:Why, because they are just as disagreable as you were declaring your fare to be.
Ergasilvs:Quia enim item asperaesunt ut tuom victum autumabas esse.
HEGIO:Woe be to you!
Hegio:Vae aetati tuae.
ERGASILUS:Because that you don’t believe me at all in what I say in sober earnestness. But of what country was Stalagmus, at the time when ne departed hence?
Ergasilvs:Quippe quando mihi nil credis, quod ego dico sedulo.sed Stalagmus quoius erat tunc nationis, cum hinc abit?
HEGIO:A Sicilian.
Hegio:Siculus.
ERGASILUS:But now he is not a Sicilian—he is a Boian; he has got a Boian woman. A wife, I suppose, has been given to him for the sake of obtaining children.
Ergasilvs:At nunc Siculus non est, Boius est, Boiam terit:liberorum quaerundorum causa ei, credo, uxor datast.
HEGIO:Tell me, have you said these words to me in good earnest?
Hegio:Dic, bonan fide tu mi istaec verba dixisti?
ERGASILUS:In good earnest.
Ergasilvs:Bona.
HEGIO:Immortal Gods, I seem to be born again, if you are telling the truth.
Hegio:Di immortales, iterum gnatus videor, si vera autumas.
ERGASILUS:Do you say so? Will you still entertain doubts, when I have solemnly sworn to you? In fine, Hegio, if you have little confidence in my oath, go yourself to the harbour and see.
Ergasilvs:Ain tu? dubium habebis etiam, sancte quom ego iurem tibi?postremo, Hegio, si parva iuri iurandost fides,vise ad portum.
HEGIO:I’m determined to do so. Do you arrange in-doors what’s requisite. Use, ask for, take from my larder what you like; I appoint you cellarman.
Hegio:Facere certumst. tu intus cura quod opus est.sume, posce, prome quid vis. te facio cellarium.
ERGASILUS:Now, by my troth, if I have not prophesied truly to you, do you comb me out with a cudgel.
Ergasilvs:Nam hercle, nisi mantiscinatus probe ero, fusti pectito.
HEGIO:I’ll find you in victuals to the end, if you are telling me the truth.
Hegio:Aeternum tibi dapinabo victum, si vera autumas.
ERGASILUS:Whence shall it be?
Ergasilvs:Vnde id?
HEGIO:From myself and from my son.
Hegio:A me meoque gnato.
ERGASILUS:Do you promise that?
Ergasilvs:Sponden tu istud?
HEGIO:I do promise it.
Hegio:Spondeo.
ERGASILUS:But I, in return, promise you that your son has arrived.
Ergasilvs:At ego tuom tibi advenisse filium respondeo.
HEGIO:Manage as well as ever you can.
Hegio:Cura quam optume potes.—
ERGASILUS:A happy walk there to you, and a happy walk back.(Exit HEGIO.) (ERGASILUS, alone)
Ergasilvs:Bene ambula et redambula.
ERGASILUS:He has gone away from here, and has entrusted to me the most important concern of catering. Immortal Gods how I shall now be slicing necks off of sides; how vast a downfall will befall the gammon; how vast a belabouring the bacon! How great a using-up of udders, how vast a bewailing for the brawn!How great a bestirring for the butchers, how great a preparation for the porksellers! But if I were to enumerate the rest of the things which minister to the supply of the stomach, ‘twould be sheer delay. Now will I go off to my government, to give laws to the bacon, and, those gammons that are hanging uncondemned, to give aid to them.(Goes into the house.) (Enter a LAD, a servant of HEGIO.)A LAD:May Jupiter and the Deities confound you, Ergasilus, and your stomach,and all Parasites, and every one who henceforth shall give a dinner to Parasites. Destruction and devastation and ruin have just now entered our house. I was afraid that he would be making an attack on me, as though he had been an hungry wolf. And very dreadfully, upon my faith, was I frightened at him; he made such a gnashing with his teeth. On his arrival, the whole larder, with the meat, he turned upside down.
Ergasilvs:illic hinc abiit, mihi rem summam credidit cibariam.di immortales, iam ut ego collos praetruncabo tegoribus,quanta pernis pestis veniet, quanta labes larido,quanta sumini absumedo, quanta callo calamitas,quanta laniis lassitudo, quanta porcinariis.nam si alia memorem, quae ad ventris victum conducunt, morast.nunc ibo, ut pro praefectura mea ius dicam larido,et quae pendent indemnatae pernae, eis auxilium ut feram.—Pver:Diéspiter te dique, Ergasile, perdant et ventrem tuom,parasítosque omnis, et qui posthac cenam parasitis dabit.cladés calamitasque, intemperies módo in nostram advenit domum.quasi lúpus esuriens ⟨ille⟩ metui ne in me faceret impetum.ubi … impetumnimisque hércle ego illum male formidabam, ita frendebat dentibus.advéniens deturbavit totum cum carne carnarium:
He seized a knife, and first cut off the kernels of the neck from three sides. All the pots and cups he broke, except those that held a couple of gallons; of the cook he made enquiry whether the salting pans could be set on the fire to be made hot. All the cellars in the house he has broken into, and has laid the store-closet open. (At the door.) Watch him, servants, if you please; I’ll go to meet the old gentleman.I’ll tell him to get ready some provisions for his own self, if, indeed, he wishes himself to make use of any. For in this place, as this man, indeed, is managing, either there’s nothing already, or very soon there will be nothing.(Exit.) (Enter HEGIO, PHILOPOLEMUS, PHILOCRATES, and behind them, STALAGMUS.)HEGIO:To Jove and to the Deities I return with reason hearty thanks, inasmuch as they have restored you to your father, and inasmuch as they have delivered me from very many afflictions,which, while I was obliged to be here without you, I was enduring, and inasmuch as I see that that fellow (pointing to STALAGMUS) is in my power, and inasmuch as his word (pointing to PHILOCIATES) has been found true to me.
arrípuit gladium, praetruncavit tribus tegoribus glandia;aulás calicesque omnes confregit, nisi quae modiales erant.cocum pércontabatur, possentne seriae fervescere.cellás refregit omnis intus reclusitque armarium.adsérvate istunc, sultis, servi. ego ibo, ut conveniam senem,dicam út sibi penum alium adornet, siquidem sese uti volet;nam híc quidém, ut adornat, aut iam nihil est aut iam nihil erit.—Hegio:Ioví disque agó gratiás merito mágnas,quom reducem tuo te patri reddideruntquomque ex miseriis plurimis me exemerunt,† quae adhuc carens dum huc fui sustentabam,quomque hunc conspicor in potestate nostra,quomque huius reperta est fides firma nobis.
PHILOPOLEMUS:Enough now have I grieved from my very soul, and enough with care and tears have I disquieted myself. Enough now have I heard of your woes, which at the harbour you told me of.
Philopolemvs:Sátis iam dolui ex ánimo, et cura mé satis et lacrumis máceravi,sátis iam audivi tuás aerumnas, ád portum mihi quás memorasti.
Let us now to this business.PHILOCRATES:What now, since I’ve kept my word with you, and have caused him to be restored back again to freedom?
hóc agamus.Philocrates:Quid nunc, quoniam tecum servavi fidemtibique hunc reducem in libertatem feci?
HEGIO:Philocrates, you have acted so that I can never return you thanks enough, in the degree that you merit from myself and my son.
Hegio:Fecisti ut tibi,Philocrates, numquam referre gratiam possim satis,proinde ut tu promeritu's promeritus es de me et filio.
PHILOPOLEMUS:Nay, but you can, father, and you will be able, and I shall be able; and the Divinities will give the means for youto return the kindness he merits to one who deserves so highly of us; as, my father, you are able to do to this person who so especially deserves it.
Philopolemvs:Immo potes,pater, et poteris et ego potero, et dí eam potestatem dabuntut beneficium bene merenti nostro merito muneres;sicut nunc potes, pater mi, facere merito maxume.
HEGIO:What need is there of words? I have no tongue with which to deny whatever you may ask of me.
Hegio:Quid opust verbis? lingua nullast qua negem quidquid roges.
PHILOCRATES:I ask of you to restore to me that servant whom I left here as a surety for myself; who has always proved more faithful to me than to himself;in order that for his services I may be enabled to give him a reward.
Philocrates:Postulo abs te, ut mi illum reddas servom, quem hic reliquerampignus pro me, qui mihi melior quam sibi semper fuit,pro bene factis eius ut ei pretium possim reddere.
HEGIO:Because you have acted thus kindly, the favour shall be returned, the thing that you ask; both that and anything else that you shall ask of me, you shall obtain. And I would not have you blame me, because in my anger I have treated him harshly.
Hegio:Quod bene fecisti referetur gratia id quod postulas;et id et aliud, quod me orabis, impetrabis. atque tenolim suscensere quod ego iratus ei feci male.
PHILOCRATES:What have you done?
Philocrates:Quid fecisti?
HEGIO:I confined him in fetters at the stone-quarries,when I found out that I had been imposed upon.
Hegio:In lapicidinas compeditum condidi,ubi rescivi mihi data esse verba.
PHILOCRATES:Ah wretched me! That for my safety misfortunes should have happened to that best of men.
Philocrates:Vae misero mihi,propter meum caput labores homini evenisse optumo.
HEGIO:Now, on this account, you need not give me even one groat of silver for him. Receive him of me without cost that he may be free.
Hegio:At ob eam rem mihi libellam pró eo argenti ne duis:gratiis a me, ut sit liber, ducito.
PHILOCRATES:On my word, Hegio, you act with kindness; but I entreat that you will order this man to be sent for.
Philocrates:Edepol, Hegio,facis benigne. sed quaeso, hominem ut iubeas arcessi.
HEGIO:Certainly.
Hegio:Licet.
(To the attendants, who immediately obey.) Where are you? Go this instant, and bring Tyndarus here. (To PHILOPOLEMUS and PHILOCRATES.) Do you go in-doors; in the meantime, I wish to enquire of this statue for whipping, what was done with my younger son. Do you go bathe in the meantime.PHILOPOLEMUS:Philocrates, follow me this way in-doors.
ubi estís vos? ite actutum, Tyndarum huc arcessite.vos ite intro. interibi ego ex hac statua verberea voloerogitare, meo minore quid sit factum filio.vos lavate interibi.Philopolemvs:Sequere hac, Philocrates, me intro.—
PHILOCRATES:I follow you. (They go into the house.)(HEGIO and STALAGMUS.)
Philocrates:Sequor.—
HEGIO:Come you, step this way, you worthy fellow, my fine slave.
Hegio:Age tu illuc procede, bone vir, lepidum mancupium meum.
STALAGMUS:What is fitting for me to do, when you, such a man as you are, are speaking false? I was never a handsome, or a fine, or a good person, or an honest one, nor shall I ever be; assuredly, don’t you be forming any hopes that I shall be honest.
Stalagmvs:Quid me oportet facere, ubi tu talis vir falsum autumas?fui ego bellus, lepidus: bonus vir numquam, neque frugi bonae,neque ero umquam, ne ⟨erres⟩: spem ponas me bonae frugi fore.
HEGIO:You easily understand pretty well in what situation your fortunes are. If you shall prove truth-telling, you’ll make your lot from bad somewhat better.
Hegio:Propemodum ubi loci fortunae tuae sint facile intellegis.sí eris verax, tua ex re, facies ex mala meliusculam.
Speak out, then, correctly and truthfully; but never yet truthfully or correctly have you acted.STALAGMUS:Do you think that I’m ashamed to own it, when you affirm it?
recte et vera loquere, sed neque vere neque ⟨tu⟩ recte adhucfecisti umquam.Stalagmvs:Quod ego fatear, credin pudeat cum autumes?
HEGIO:But I’ll make you to be ashamed; for I’ll cause you to be blushes all over.
Hegio:At ego faciam ut pudeat, nam in ruborem te totum dabo.
STALAGMUS:Heyday—you’re threatening stripes, I suppose, to me, quite unaccustomed to them! Away with them, I beg. Tell me what you bring, that you may carry off hence what you are in want of.
Stalagmvs:Eia, credo ego imperito plagas minitaris mihi.tandem ista aufer ⟨ac⟩ dic quid fers, ut feras hinc quod petis.
HEGIO:Very fluent indeed. But now I wish this prating to be cut short.
Hegio:Satis facundu's facundus es. sed iam fieri dicta compendi volo.
HEGIO:As you desire, so be it done.HEGIO: (to the AUDIENCE.)As a boy he was very obedient; now that suits him not. Let’s to this business; now give your attention, and inform me upon what I ask. If you tell the truth, you’ll make your fortunes somewhat better.
Stalagmvs:Vt vis fiat.Hegio:Bene morigerus fuit puer, nunc non decet.hoc agamus. iam animum advorte ac mihi quae dicam edissere.[sí eris verax, ⟨ex⟩ tuis rebus feceris meliusculas.]
STALAGMUS:That’s mere trifling. Don’t you think that I know what I’m deserving of?
Stalagmvs:Nugae istaec sunt. non me censes scire quid dignus siem?
HEGIO:Still, it is in your power to escape a small portion of it, if not the whole.
Hegio:At ea subterfugere potis es pauca, si non omnia.
STALAGMUS:A small portion I shall escape, I know; but much will befall me, and with my deserving it, because I both ran away, and stole your son and sold him.
Stalagmvs:Pauca effugiam, scio; nam multa evenient, et merito meo,quia et fugi et tibi surripui filium et eum vendidi.
HEGIO:To what person?
Hegio:Cui homini?
STALAGMUS:To Theodoromedes the Polyplusian, in Elis, for six minae.
Stalagmvs:Theodoromedi in Alide Polyplusio,sex minis.
HEGIO:O ye immortal Gods! He surely is the father of this person, Philocrates.
Hegio:Pro di immortales, is quidem huius est paterPhilocrati.
STALAGMUS:Why, I know him better than yourself, and have seen him more times.
Stalagmvs:Quin melius novi quam tu et vidi saepius.
HEGIO:Supreme Jove, preserve both myself and my son for me. (He goes to the door, and calls aloud.) Philocrates, by your good Genius, I do entreat you, come out, I want you.(Enter PHILOCRATES, from the house)
Hegio:Serva, Iuppiter supreme, et me et meum gnatum mihi.Philocrates, per tuom te genium óbsecro, exi, te volo.
PHILOCRATES:Hegio, here am I; if you want anything of me, command me.
Philocrates:Hegio, assum. si quid me vis, impera.
HEGIO:He (pointing to STALAGMUS) declares that he sold my son to your father, in Elis, for six minae.PHILOCRATES: (to STALAGMUS.)
Hegio:Hic gnatum meumtuo patri ait se vendidisse sex minis in Alide.
How long since did that happen?STALAGMUS:This is the twentieth year, commencing from it.
Philocrates:Quam diu id factum est?Stalagmvs:Hic annus incipit vicensimus.
PHILOCRATES:He is speaking falsely.
Philocrates:Falsa memorat.
STALAGMUS:Either I or you do. Why, your father gave you the little child, of four years old, to be your own slave.
Stalagmvs:Aut ego aut tu. nam tibi quadrimulumtuos pater peculiarem parvolo puero dedit.
PHILOCRATES:What was his name? If you are speaking the truth, tell me that, then.
Philocrates:Quid erat ei nomen? si vera dicis, memoradum mihi.
STALAGMUS:Paegnium, he used to be called; afterwards, you gave him the name of Tyndarus.
Stalagmvs:Paegnium vocitatust, post vos indidistis Tyndaro.
PHILOCRATES:Why don’t I recollect you?
Philocrates:Cur ego te non novi?
STALAGMUS:Because it’s the fashion for persons to forget, and not to know him whose favour is esteemed as worth nothing.
Stalagmvs:Quia mos est oblivisci hominibusneque novisse cuius nihili sit faciunda gratia.
PHILOCRATES:Tell me, was he the person whom you sold to my father, who was given me for my private service?
Philocrates:Dic mihi, isne istíc fuit, quem vendidisti meo patri,qui mihi peculiaris datus est?
STALAGMUS:It was his son.(pointing to HEGIO.)
Stalagmvs:Huius filius.
HEGIO:Is this person now living?
Hegio:Vivitne is homo?
STALAGMUS:I received the money I cared nothing about the rest.HEGIO: (to PHILOCRATES.)
Stalagmvs:Argentum accepi, nil curavi ceterum.
What do you say?PHILOCRATES:Why, this very Tyndarus is your son, according, indeed, to the proofs that he mentions. For, a boy himself together with me from boyhood was he brought up, virtuously and modestly, even to manhood.
Hegio:Quid tu ais?Philocrates:Quin istic ipsust Tyndarus tuos filius,ut quidem hic árgumenta loquitur. nam is mecum a puero puerbene pudiceque educatust usque ad adulescentiam.
HEGIO:I am both unhappy and happy, if you are telling the truth. Unhappy for this reason, because, if he is my son, I have badly treated him.
Hegio:Et miser sum et fortunatus, si ⟨vos⟩ vera dicitis;eo miser sum quia male illi feci, si gnatust meus.
Alas! why have I done both more and less than was his due. That I have ill treated him I am grieved; would that it only could be undone. But see, he’s coming here, in a guise not according to his deserts.(Enter TYNDARUS, in chains, led in by the SERVANTS.)TYNDARUS: (to himself.)
eheu, quóm ego plus minusve feci quam ⟨me⟩ aequom fuit.quod male feci crucior; modo si infectum fieri possiet.sed eccum incedit huc ornatus haúd ex suis virtutibus.
I have seen many of the torments which take place at Acheron often represented in paintings; but most certainly there is no Acheron equalto where I have been in the stone-quarries. There, in fine, is the place where real lassitude must be undergone by the body in laboriousness. For when I came there, just as either jackdaws, or ducks, or quails, are given to Patrician children, for them to play with, so in like fashion, when I arrived, a crow was given me with which to amuse myself.
Tyndarvs:Vidi ego multa saepe picta, quae Acherunti fierentcruciamenta, verum enim vero nulla adaeque est Acherunsatque ubi ego fui, in lapicidinis. illic ibi demumst locus,ubi labore lassitudo est exigunda ex corpore.nam ubi illo adveni, quasi patriciis pueris aut monerulae,aut anites aut coturnices dantur, quicum lusitent,itidem mi haec advenienti upupa, qui me delectem, datast.
But see, my master’s before the door; and lo! my other master has returned from Elis.HEGIO:Hail to you, my much wished-for son.
sed erus eccum ante ostium, et erus alter eccum ex Aliderediit.Hegio:Salve, éxoptate gnate mi.
TYNDARUS:Ha! how—my son? Aye, aye, I know why you pretend yourself to be the father, and me to be the son; it is because, just as parents do, you give me the means of seeing the light.
Tyndarvs:Hem, quid gnate mi?attat, scio cur te patrem adsimules esse et me filium:quia mi item ut parentes lucis das tuendi copiam.
PHILOCRATES:Hail to you, Tyndarus.
Philocrates:Salve, Tyndare.
TYNDARUS:And to you, for whose sake I am enduring these miseries.
Tyndarvs:Et tu, quoius causa hanc aerumnam exigo.
PHILOCRATES:But now I’ll make you in freedom come to wealth. For (pointing to HEGIO) this is your father; (pointing to STALAGMUS) that is the slave who stole you away from here when four years old, and sold you to my father for six minae. He gave you, when a little child, to me a little child for my own service. He (pointing to STALAGMUS) has made a confession, for we have brought him back from Elis.
Philocrates:At nunc liber in divitias faxo venies. nam tibipater hic est; hic servos, qui te huic hinc quadrimum surpuit,vendidit patri meo te sex minis, is te mihiparvolum peculiarem parvolo puero dedit:illic indícium fecit; nam hunc ex Alide huc reduximus.
TYNDARUS:How, where’s Hegio’s son?
Tyndarvs:Quid huius filium?
PHILOCRATES:Look now; indoors is your own brother.
Philocrates:Intus eccum fratrem germanum tuom.
TYNDARUS:How do you say? Have you brought that captive son of his?
Tyndarvs:Quid tu ais? adduxtin illum huius captivom filium?
PHILOCRATES:Why, he’s in-doors, I say.
Philocrates:Quin, inquam, intus hic est.
TYNDARUS:By my faith, you’ve done both well and happily.PHILOCRATES: (pointing to HEGIO.)
Tyndarvs:Fecisti edepol et recte et bene.
Now this is your own father; (pointing to STALAGMUS) this is the thief who stole you when a little child.
Philocrates:Nunc tibi páter hic est: hic fur est tuos, qui parvom hinc te abstulit.
TYNDARUS:But now, grown up, I shall give him grown up to the executioner for his thieving.
Tyndarvs:At ego hunc grandis grandem natu ob furtum ad carnificem dabo.
PHILOCRATES:He deserves it.
Philocrates:Meritus est.
TYNDARUS:I’ faith, I’ll deservedly give him the reward that he deserves. (To HEGIO.) But tell me I pray you, are you my father?
Tyndarvs:Ergo edepol ⟨merito⟩ meritam mercedem dabo.[sed ⟨tu⟩ dic oro: pater meus tune es?]
HEGIO:I am he, my son.
Hegio:[Ego sum, gnate mi.]
TYNDARUS:Now, at length, I bring it to my recollection, when I reconsider with myself: troth, I do now at last recall to memory that I had heard, as though through a mist, that my father was called Hegio.
Tyndarvs:[Nunc demum in memoriam redeo, cum mecum recogito.]nunc edepol demum in memoriam regredior, audisse mequasi per nebulam, Hégionem meum patrem vocarier.
HEGIO:I am he.
Hegio:Is ego sum.
PHILOCRATES:I pray that your son may be lightened of these fetters, and this slave be loaded with them.
Philocrates:Compedibus quaeso ut tibi sit levior filiusatque huic gravior servos.
HEGIO:I’m resolved that that shall be the first thing attended to. Let’s go in-doors, that the blacksmith may be sent for, in order that I may remove those fetters from you, and give them to him. (They go into the house.)
Hegio:Certum est principio id praevortier.eamus intro, ut arcessatur faber, ut istas compedestibi adimam, huic dem.
STALAGMUS:To one who has no savings of his own, you’ll be rightly doing so.COMPANY of PLAYERS: (coming forward.)
Stalagmvs:Quoi peculi nihil est, recte feceris.
Spectators, this play is founded on chaste manners.No wenching is there in this, and no intriguing, no exposure of a child, no cheating out of money; and no young man in love here make his mistress free without his father’s knowledge. The Poets find but few Comedies of this kind, where good men might become better. Now, if it pleases you,and if we have pleased you, and have not been tedious, do you give this sign of it: you who wish that chaste manners should have their reward, give us your applause.
Caterva:Spectatores, ad pudicos mores facta haec fabula est,neque in hac subigitationes sunt neque ulla amationec pueri suppositio nec argénti circumductio,neque ubi amans adulescens scortum liberet clam suom patrem.huius modi paucas poetae reperiunt comoedias,ubi boni meliores fiant. nunc vos, si vobis placetet si placuimus neque odio fuimus, signum hoc mittite:qui pudicitiae esse voltis praemium, plausum date.