MENAECHMUS SOSICLES: (apart.)But you only hold your tongue … The matter goes on well. I shall assent to the woman, whatever she shall say, if I can get some entertainment. Just now, madam (speaking to her in a low voice),I contradicted you not undesignedly; I was afraid of that fellow, lest he might carry word to my wife about the mantle and the breakfast. Now, when you please, let’s go in-doors.
Menaechmvs:Quin tu tace modo.bene res geritur. adsentabor quidquid dicet mulieri,si possum hospitium nancisci. iam dudum, mulier, tibinon imprudens advorsabar: hunc metuebam, ne meaeuxori renuntiaret de palla et de prandio.nunc, quando vis, eamus intro.
EROTIUM:Are you going to wait for the Parasite as well?
Erotivm:Etiam parasitum manes?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I’m neither going to wait for him, nor do I care a straw for him, nor, if he should come, do I want him to be admitted in-doors.
Menaechmvs:Neque ego illum maneo, neque flocci facio, neque, si venerit,eum volo intromitti.
EROTIUM:By my faith, I shall do that not at all reluctantly. But do you know what I beg you to do?
Erotivm:Ecastor haud invita fecero.sed scin quid te amabo ut facias?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Only command me what you will.
Menaechmvs:Impera quid vis modo.
EROTIUM:For you to take that mantle which you gave me just now to the embroiderer’s, that it may be trimmed again, and that some work may be added which I want.
Erotivm:Pallam illam, quam dudum dederas, ad phrygionem ut deferas,ut reconcinnetur atque ut opera addantur quae volo.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I’ faith, you say what’s right; in such a way shall it be disguised that my wife shan’t know that you are wearing it, if she should see you in the street.
Menaechmvs:Hercle qui tu recte dicis: eádem ignorabitur,ne uxor cognoscat te habere, si in via conspexerit.
EROTIUM:Then take it away with you just now, when you go away.
Erotivm:Ergo mox auferto tecum, quando abibis.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:By all means.
Menaechmvs:Maxime.
EROTIUM:Let’s go in-doors.(Goes into her house.)
Erotivm:Eamus intro
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I’ll follow you this instant; I only wish to speak to this person. So, there! Messenio, step to me this way.
Menaechmvs:Iam sequar te. húnc volo etiam conloqui.eho Messenio, accede huc.
MESSENIO:What’s the matter?
Messenio:Quid negoti est?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Listen.
Menaechmvs:†sussciri.
MESSENIO:What need for it?
Messenio:Quid eo opust?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:There is need, I know what you’ll say to me—
Menaechmvs:Opus est. scio ut me dices.
MESSENIO:So much the worse.
Messenio:Tanto nequior.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Hold your tongue … I’ve got some spoil; thus much of the business have I begun upon. Go, and, as quick as you can, take away those people at once to an inn. Then do you take care to come and meet me before sunset.
Menaechmvs:Habeo praedam: tantum incepi óperis. ei quantum potes,abduc istos in tabernam actutum devorsoriam.tum facito ante solem occasum ut venias advorsum mihi.
MESSENIO:Don’t you know that these people are harlots, master?
Messenio:Non tu istas meretrices novisti, ere.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Hold your tongue, I say, and go you away from here. It will cost me pain, not you, if I do anything here that’s foolish.
Menaechmvs:Tace, inquam …mihi dolebit, non tibi, si quid ego stulte fecero.
This woman is silly and inexperienced. So far as I’ve perceived just now, there’s some spoil for us here.(He goes into the house of EROTIUM.)MESSENIO:I’m undone. Are you going away then? He is certainly ruined; the piratical craft is now leading the boat straight to destruction. But I’m an unreasonable fellow to wish to rule my master; he bought me to obey his orders, not to be his commander.
mulier haec stulta atque inscita est; quantum perspexi modo,est hic praeda nobis.—Messenio:Perii, iamne abis? periit probe:ducit lembum dierectum navis praedatoria.sed ego inscitus qui domino me postulem moderarier:dicto me emit audientem, haud imperatorem sibi.
(To the ATTENDANTS.) Follow me, that, as I’m ordered, I may come in good time to meet my master.(Enter PENICULUS.)PENICULUS:More than thirty years have I been born yet during that time I never did any more mischievous or more evil trick than this day, when, to my misfortune, I thrust myself into the midst of the assembly. while I was gaping about there, Menaechmus stole away from me,and went, I suppose, to his mistress, and didn’t want to take me. May all the Divinities confound that man who first mischievously devised the holding of an assembly, which keeps men thus engaged. By my troth, is it not fitting that men who are disengaged should be chosen for that purpose? These, when they are cited, if they are not present, let the officers exact the fineforthwith … the senate …Abundance of men are there who every day eat their victuals alone, who have no business, who are neither invited nor invite to feast; these ought to give their attendance at the assembly and the law-courts.
sequimini, ut, quod imperatum est, veniam advorsum temperi.—Penicvlvs:Plus triginta ánnis natus sum, quom ínterea loci,numquam quicquam facinus feci peius neque scelestius,quám hodie, quom in contionem mediam me immersi miser.ubi ego dúm hieto, Menaechmus se subterduxit mihiatque abiit ad amicam, credo, neque me voluit ducere.qui illum di omnes perduint, qui primus commentust …contionem habere, qui homines occupatos occupat.non ad eam rem ótiosos homines decuit deligi,qui nisi adsint quom citentur, census capiat ilico?……adfatim est hominum, in dies qui singulas escas edint,quibus negoti nihil est, qui essum neque vocantur neque vocant:eos oportet contioni dare operam atque comitiis.
If so it had been, this say I shouldn’t have lost my breakfast; to which I deemed myself as much accustomed, as to see myself alive. I’ll go; even yet the hope of the scraps comforts my mind. But why do I see Menaechmus here? He’s coming out of doors with a chaplet on? The banquet is removed; i’ faith, I come just in time to meet him.
sí id ita esset, non ego hodie perdidissem prandium,quoi tam credo † datum voluisse quam me video vivere.ibo: etiamnum reliquiarum spes animum oblectat meum.sed quid ego video? Menaechmus cum corona exit foras.sublatum est convivium, edepol venio adversum temperi.
I’ll watch the fellow, what he’s about, then I’ll go and accost him. (He steps aside.)Enter MENAECHMUS SOSICLES, from the house of EROTIUM, with the mantle on.)MENAECHMUS SOSICLES: (speaking to EROTIUM within.)Can’t you rest content, if this day I bring it you back in good time, nicely and properly trimmed? I’ll cause you to say it isn’t itself, so much shall it be disguised.PENICULUS: (apart.)
observabo, quid agat, hominem. post adibo atque adloquar.Menaechmvs:Potine ut quiescas? ego tibi hanc hodie probelepideque concinnatam referam temperi.non faxo eam esse dices: íta ignorabitur.
He’s carrying the mantle to the embroiderer’s, the breakfast finishedand the wine drunk up, and the Parasite shut out of doors. By my troth, I’m not the person that I am, if I don’t handsomely avenge this injury and myself.’Tis requisite I should watch … I’ll give something.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES: (to himself.)
Penicvlvs:Pallam ad phrygionem fert confecto prandiovinoque expoto, parasito excluso foras.non hercle is sum qui sum, ni hánc iniuriammeque ultus pulchre fuero. observa quid dabo.
O ye immortal Gods! on what man ever have you conferred more blessings in one day, who hoped for less?
Menaechmvs:Pro di immortales, quoí homini umquam uno dieboni dedistis plus, qui minus speraverit?
I’ve been breakfasting, drinking, feasting with a mistress; and I’ve carried off this mantle, of which she shall no more be owner after this day.
prandi, potavi, scortum accubui, apstulihanc, quoius heres numquam erit post hunc diem.
PENICULUS:Isn’t he now talking about me, and my share of the repast? I can’t well hear what he says.
Penicvlvs:Nequeo quae loquitur exaudire clanculum;satur nunc loquitur de me et de parti mea.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES: (to himself.)She says that I secretly gave her this, and that I stole it away from my wife. When I perceived that she was mistaken, at once I began to assent, as though I really had had acquaintanceship with her. Whatever the woman said, the same said I. What need of many words?
Menaechmvs:Ait hanc dedisse me sibí, atque eam meaeuxori surrupuisse. quoniam sentioerrare, extemplo, quasi res cúm ea esset mihi,coepi adsentari: mulier quidquid dixerat,idem ego dicebam. quid multis verbis ⟨opust⟩?
I was never entertained at less expense.PENICULUS: (apart.)
minore nusquam bene fui dispendio.
I’ll accost the fellow; for I quite long to have a row.
Penicvlvs:Adibo ad hominem, nam turbare gestio.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Who’s this that’s coming up towards me? (Takes off the mantle, and hides it.)
Menaechmvs:Quis hic ést, qui adversus it mihi?
PENICULUS:What say you, you fellow lighter than a feather, most rascally and most abandoned—you disgraceful man—you cheat, and most worthless fellow?
Penicvlvs:Quid ais, homolevior quam pluma, pessime et nequissime,flagitium hominis, subdole ac minimi preti?
Why have I deserved this of you? For what reason should you ruin me? How you stole yourself away from me just now at the Forum. You’ve been performing the funeral of the breakfast in my absence. Why did you dare to do so, when I was entitled to it in an equal degree?
quid de te merui, qua me causa perderes?ut surrupuisti te mihi dudum de foro!fecisti funus med absente prandio.cur ausu's ausus es facere, quoi ego aeque heres eram?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Young man, prithee, what business with me have you,who are thus purposely insulting a person whom you know not? Do you wish a punishment to be given you for your abuse?
Menaechmvs:Adulescens, quaeso, quid tibi mecum est rei,qui mihi male dicas homini ignoto insciens?an tibi malam rem vis pro male dictis dari?
PENICULUS:Do be quiet; by my faith, I discover that you’ve done that already indeed.
Penicvlvs:†Pol eam quidem edepol te dedisse intellego.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Answer me, young man, I beg; what is your name?
Menaechmvs:Responde, adulescens, quaeso, quid nomen tibist?
PENICULUS:Are you laughing at me, as well, as though you didn’t know my name?
Penicvlvs:Etiam derides, quasi nomen non noveris?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:By my troth, I never saw or knew you, that I’m aware of, before this day; but at all events, whoever you are, if you do what’s right, you won’t be an annoyance to me.
Menaechmvs:Non edepol ego te, quod sciam, umquam ante hunc diemvidi neque novi; verum certo, quisquis es,si aéquom facias, mihi odiosus ne sies.Penicvlvs:Menaechme, vigila.Menaechmvs:Vigilo hercle equidem, quod sciam.
PENICULUS:Don’t you know me?
Penicvlvs:Non me novisti?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I shouldn’t deny it if I did know you.PENICULUS:Menaechmus, awake.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I’ troth, I really am awake, so far as I know.
Menaechmvs:Non negem, si noverim.
PENICULUS:Don’t you know your own Parasite?
Penicvlvs:Tuom parasitum non novisti?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Young man, I find that your headpiece isn’t sound.
Menaechmvs:Non tibisanum est, adulescens, sinciput, intellego.
PENICULUS:Answer me; have you not purloined that mantle from your wife to-day, and given it to Erotium?
Penicvlvs:Responde, surrupuistin uxori tuaepallam istanc hodie átque dédisti Erotio?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I’ faith I have no wife, nor have I given the mantle to Erotium, nor have I purloined it.
Menaechmvs:Neque hercle ego uxorem habeo neque ego Erotiodedi nec pallam surrupui.
PENICULUS:Are you really in your senses? … This matter’s settled. Did I not see you coming out of doors clad in a mantle?
Penicvlvs:Satin sanus es?occisast haec res. non ego te indutum forasexire vidi pallam?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Woe to your head. Do you think that all people are effeminate rogues because you are one?Do you declare that I was clothed in a mantle?
Menaechmvs:Vae capiti tuo.omnis cinaedos esse censes, tu quia es?tun med indutum fuisse pallam praedicas?
PENICULUS:Troth, I really do.
Penicvlvs:Ego hercle vero.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Why don’t you go where you are deserving to go, or else request yourself to be atoned for, you downright madman?
Menaechmvs:Non tu abis quo dignus es?aut te piari iube, homo insanissime.
PENICULUS:By my troth, never shall any one prevail upon me not to tell your wife the whole matter now, just as it happened.
Penicvlvs:Numquam edepol quisquam me exorabit, quin tuaeuxori rem omnem iám, uti sit gesta, eloquar;
All these insults shall be retorted upon yourself. I’ll take care that you shan’t have devoured the breakfast unpunished.(He goes into the house of MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.)MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:What’s the meaning of this business? Why, Just as I see each person, do they all make fun of me in this way? But the door makes a noise.(Enter a MAID-SERVANT, from the house of EROTIUM.)
omnes in te istaec recident contumeliae:faxo haud inultus prandium comederis.—Menaechmvs:Quid hoc ést negoti? satine, ut quemque conspicor,ita me ludificant? sed concrepuit ostium.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Menaechmus, Erotium says that she entreats you much,that at the same opportunity you’ll take this to the goldsmith’s, and add to it an ounce in weight of gold, and order the bracelet to be fashioned anew. (Gives him a bracelet.)
Ancilla:Menaechme, amare ait te multum Erotium,ut hoc una opera ⟨sibi⟩ ad aurificem deferas,atque huc ut addas auri pondo únciamiubeasque spinter novom reconcinnarier.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Tell her that I’ll attend both to this and anything else that she shall wish, if she wishes anything else attended to.
Menaechmvs:Et istúc et aliud, si quid curari volet,me curaturum dicito, quidquid volet.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Do you know what this bracelet is?MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I don’t know, unless it’s of gold.
Ancilla:Scin quid hoc sit spinter?Menaechmvs:Nescio, nisi aureum.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:This is the same one that you once said that you had secretly stolen out of the closet from your wife.
Ancilla:Hoc est quod olim clanculum ex armariote surrupuisse aiebas uxori tuae.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:By my troth,’twas never done.MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Prithee, don’t you remember it?
Menaechmvs:Numquam hercle factum est.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Not in the least.
Ancilla:Non meministi, obsecro?
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Give it me back then, if you don’t remember it. (Tries to take it.)MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Stop. (Pretends to examine the bracelet.)
redde igitur spinter, si non meministi.Menaechmvs:Mane.
O yes, I really do remember it; it’s the same, I believe, that I presented to her.
immo equidem memini. nempe hoc est, quod illí dedi.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:I’ faith, it is the same.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Where are the clasps which I gave her together with them?
Ancilla:Istuc.Menaechmvs:Vbi illae armillaé sunt, quas una dedi?
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:You never gave her any.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Why, faith, I gave them together with this …MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Shall I say that you’ll attend to it?
Ancilla:Numquam dedisti.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Do say so; it shall be attended to.I’ll take care that the mantle and the bracelet are brought back together.
Menaechmvs:Nam pol hoc unum dedi.Ancilla:Dicam curare?Menaechmvs:Dicito: curabitur.et palla et spinter faxo referantur simul.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:My dear Menaechmus, do, pray, give me some earrings, the pendants to be made two didrachms in weight; that I may look on you with delight when you come to our house.
Ancilla:Amabo, mi Menaechme, inauris da mihifaciendas pondo duom nummum, stalagmia,ut te libenter videam, quom ad nos veneris.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Be it so. Give me the gold; I’ll find the price of the workmanship.
Menaechmvs:Fiat. cedo aurum, ego manupretium dabo.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Give it yourself, please; at a future time I’ll give it you back.
Ancilla:Da sodes abs te: ⟨ego⟩ post reddidero tibi.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:No, give it yourself; at a future time I’ll give it you twofold.
Menaechmvs:Immo cedo abs te: ego post tibi reddam duplex.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:I haven’t any.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:But when you have it, do you give it me, then.
Ancilla:Non habeo.Menaechmvs:At tu, quando habebis, tum dato.
MAID-SERVANT of Erotium.:Do you wish for aught?MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Say that I’ll attend to these things, (aside) to be sold as soon as they can, and for what they’ll fetch.(The MAID-SERVANT goes into the house.)
Ancilla:Numquid [me] vis?—Menaechmvs:Haec me curaturum dicito—ut quantum possint quique liceant veneant.
Has she now gone off in-doors? She’s gone, and has shut the door. Surely all the Gods are favouring, amplifying, and prospering me. But why do I delay while opportunity and time are granted me to get away from these procurers’ dens? Make haste, Menaechmus; pull foot and quicken your pace.
iamne abiit intro? abiit, operuit fores.di me quidem omnes adiuvant, augent, amant.sed quid ego cesso, dum datur mi occasiotempusque, abire ab his locis lenoniis?propera, Menaechme, fer pedem, confer gradum.
I’ll take off this chaplet, and throw it away on the left hand side (throws the chaplet down), that, if they follow me, they may think I’ve gone in that direction. I’ll go and meet my servant, if I can, that he may learn from me these blessings which the Gods confer upon me.(Enter, from her house, the WIFE of MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus, followed by PENICULUS.)THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:And shall I allow myself to remain in wedlock here,when my husband secretly pilfers whatever’s in the house, and carries it thence off to his mistress?PENICULUS:Why don’t you hold your peace? I’ll let you now catch him in the fact; do you only follow me this way. (They go to the opposite side of the stage.) In a state of drunkenness, with a chaplet on, he was carrying the mantle to the embroiderer’s, which he purloined from you at home to-day.
demam hanc coronam atque abiciam ad laevam manum,ut, siquis sequatur, hac me abiisse censeant.ibo et conveniam servom, si potero, meum,ut haec, quae bona dant di mihi, ex me sciat.—Matrona:Egone hic me patiar frustra in matrimonio,ubi vir compilet clanculum quidquid domistatque ea ad amicam deferat?Penicvlvs:Quin tu taces?manufesto faxo iam opprimes: sequere hac modo.pallam ad phrygionem cum corona ébriusferebat, hodie tibi quam surrupuit domo.
But see, here is the chaplet which he had on. (Seeing the chaplet on the ground.) Now am I saying false? Aha, this way has he gone, if you wish to trace his footsteps. And, by my faith, see, here he comes on his way back most opportunely, but he isn’t wearing the mantle.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:What now shall I do to him?
sed eccám coronam quám habuit. num mentior?em hac ábiit, si vis persequi vestigiis.atque edepol eccum óptume revortitur;sed pallam non fert.Matrona:Quid ego nunc cum illoc agam?
PENICULUS:The same as usual; abuse him.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:So I am resolved.
Penicvlvs:Idem quod semper: male habeas; sic censeo.
PENICULUS:Let’s step aside this way watch him from ambush. (They retire on one side.)(Enter MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.)MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (to himself.)How we do practise a custom here that is very foolish and extremely troublesome, and how even those who are the most worthy and great do follow this habit: all wish their dependants to be many in number;
huc concedamus: ex insidiis aucupa.Menaechmvs:Vt hóc utimúr maximé more móromoléstoque múltum, atque utí quique súntoptumí, maxumé morem habént hunc:cliéntes sibi ómnes volúnt esse múltos:
whether they are deserving or undeserving, about that they don’t enquire. Their property is more enquired about, than what the reputation of their clients is for honor. If any person is poor and not dishonest, he is considered worthless; but if a rich man is dishonest, he is considered a good client.
boníne an malí sint, id haúd quaeritánt;res magís quaeritúr quam cliéntum fidéscuius modí clueat.si ést pauper átque haud malús, nequam habétur,sin díves malúst, is cliéns frugi habétur.
Those who neither regard laws nor any good or justice at all, the same have zealous patrons. What has been entrusted to them, they deny to have been so entrusted; men full of litigation, rapacious, and fraudulent; who have acquired their property either by usury or by perjury; their whole pleasure is in litigation.When the day for trial is appointed, at the same time it is mentioned to their patrons, in order that they may plead for them, about what they have done amiss. Before the people, or at law before the Praetor, or before the Aedile, is the cause tried. Just so, this day, a certain dependant has kept me very much engaged, nor was it allowed me to do what I wished, or in company with whom I wished; so fast did he stick to me, so much did he detain me.
quí neque legés neque aequóm bonum usquám colunt,sollícitos patrónos habént.datúm denegánt quod datum ést, litiúm plení, rapacesvirí, fraudulénti,qui aut faénore aut periúriis habént rem parátam,mens est in quo …eís ubi dicitur dies, simul patronis dicitur.[quippe qui pro illis loquimur quae male fecerunt]aut ád populum aut ín iure aut ápud aedilem rés est.sicút me hodie nimis sóllicitum cliens quídam habuit, neque quód voluiagere aút quicum licitumst, ita med attinuit, ita detinuit.
Before the Aedile, in behalf of his doings, very many and very disgraceful, did I plead his cause; a compromise I obtained, obscure and perplexed—more than enough I said, and than I needed to say, that surety for him might end this litigation. What did he do? Well, what? He gave bail. And never did I at any time see any person more clearly detected;
ápud aediles pro eius factis plurumisque pessumisquedixi causam, condiciones tetuli tortas, confragosas:aut plus aut minus quám opus fuerat dicto dixeram † controversiam, utsponsio fierét. quid ille? qui … praedem dedit.néc magis manufestum ego hominem úmquam ullum teneri vidi:
three very adverse witnesses against all his misdeeds were there. May all the Gods confound him, he has so spoilt this day for me; and myself as well, who ever this day beheld the Forum with my eyes. I ordered a breakfast to be prepared; my mistress is expecting me, I’m sure; as soon as ever I had the opportunity,I made haste immediately to leave the Forum. Now, I suppose, she’s angry with me; the mantle, however, will appease her that I gave her, the one I took away to-day from my wife and carried to Erotium here.PENICULUS: (apart to the WIFE.)
omnibus male factis testes tres aderant acerrumi.di illum ómnes perdant, íta mihi hunc hódie corrupít diem,meque adeo, quí hodie forum umquam oculis inspexi meis.diem corrupi óptimum: iussi adparari prandium,amica exspectat me, scio. ubi primum est licitum, ílicoproperavi abire de foro. iratast, credo, nunc mihi;placabit palla quam dedi,quam hódie uxori ábstuli atque huic détuli Erótio.
What say you now?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (apart.)That I’m unfortunately married to a worthless fellow.PENICULUS: (apart.)Do you perfectly hear what he says?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (apart.)
Penicvlvs:Quid aís?Matrona:Viro me malo mále nuptam.Penicvlvs:Satin aúdis quae illic lóquitur?
Quite well.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:If I am wise, I shall be going hence in-doors, where it may be comfortable for me.PENICULUS: (coming forward)Stop; on the contrary, it shall be uncomfortable.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:… she is very sorrowful; this doesn’t quite please me, but I’ll speak to her.Tell me, my wife, what is it amiss with you?
Matrona:Satis.Menaechmvs:Sí sapiam, hinc intro ábeam, ubi mi bene sít.Penicvlvs:Mane: male erit pótius.Matrona:Ne íllam ecastor faénerato ábstulisti.
PENICULUS: (to the WIFE.)The pretty fellow’s soothing you.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Can’t you cease being annoying to me? Did I address you?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (turning away from MENAECHMUS.)Take yourself off—away with your caresses from me.Do you persist in it?MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Why are you offended with me?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:You ought to know.
Penicvlvs:Síc datur.Matrona:Clanculum te istaec flagitia facere censebas potis?Menaechmvs:Quid illuc est, uxor, negoti?Matrona:Men rogas?Menaechmvs:Vin hunc rogem?Matrona:Aufer hinc palpationes.
PENICULUS:The rascal knows, but he pretends not to know.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Has any one of the servants done amiss? Do either the maid or the men-servants give you saucy answers? Speak out; it shan’t be done with impunity.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:You are trifling.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Surely you are angry at some one of the domestics?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:You are trifling.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Are you angry with me at all events?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Now you are not trifling.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I’ faith, I haven’t done wrong in anything.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Ah! now you are trifling again.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Wife, what’s the matter?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Do you ask me that?MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Do you wish me to ask him?(To PENICULUS.)What’s the matter?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:The mantle.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:The mantle?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:A certain person has taken a mantle.(MENAECHMUS starts.)
Penicvlvs:Perge tu.Menaechmvs:Quid tu mihitristis es?Matrona:Te scire oportet.
PENICULUS: (to MENAECHMUS.)Why are you alarmed?
Penicvlvs:Scit, sed dissimulat malus.Menaechmvs:Quid negotist?Matrona:Pallam—Menaechmvs:Pallam?Matrona:Quidam pallam—Penicvlvs:Quid paves?
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:For my part, I’m not alarmed at all—(aside) except about one thing; the mantle makes my face mantle.PENICULUS: (aside to MENAECHMUS.)
Menaechmvs:Nil equidem paveo.Penicvlvs:Nisi unum: palla pallorem incutit.
But as for me, you shouldn’t have slily devoured the breakfast. (To the WIFE.) Go on against your husband.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (making signs to PENICULUS.)
at tu ne clam me comesses prandium. perge in virum.
Won’t you hold your tongue?PENICULUS:Faith, I really will not hold my tongue. (To the WIFE.) He’s nodding to me not to speak.
Menaechmvs:Non taces?Penicvlvs:Non hercle vero taceo. nutat, ne loquar.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:On my word, I really never did nod to you, or wink in any way.PENICULUS:Nothing is more audacious than this man, who resolutely denies those things which you see.
Menaechmvs:Non hercle ego quidem usquam quicquam nuto neque nicto tibi.Matrona:Ne ego mecastor mulier misera.Menaechmvs:Qui tu misera es? mi expedi.Penicvlvs:Nihil hoc confidentius, qui quae vides ea pernegat.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By Jupiter and all the Gods, I swear, wife, that I did not nod to him; isn’t that enough for you?PENICULUS:She now believes you about that matter; go back again there.
Menaechmvs:Per Iovem deosque omnis adiuro, uxor, (satin hoc est tibi?)me isti non nutasse.Penicvlvs:Credit iam tibi de isto: illuc redi.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Go back where?PENICULUS:Why, to the embroiderer, as I suppose. Go and bring the mantle back.
Menaechmvs:Quó ego redeam?Penicvlvs:Equidem ad phrygionem censeo. ei, pallam refer.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:What mantle is it?PENICULUS:Now I hold my tongue, since he doesn’t remember his own business.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Did you suppose that you could possibly commit these villanies unknown to me?By heavens, you have assuredly taken that away from me at a heavy usury;such is the return.(Shaking her fist.)
Menaechmvs:Quae istaec palla est?Penicvlvs:Taceo iam, quando haec rem non meminit suam.…Menaechmvs:Numquis servorum deliquit? num ancillae aut servi tibiresponsant? eloquere. impune non erit.Matrona:Nugas agis.Menaechmvs:Tristis admodum es. non mi istuc satis placet.Matrona:Nugas agis.Menaechmvs:Certe familiarium aliquoi írata es.Matrona:Nugas agis.Menaechmvs:Num mihi es irata saltem?Matrona:Nunc tu non nugas agis.Menaechmvs:Non edepol deliqui quicquam.Matrona:Em rursum nunc nugas agis.Menaechmvs:Dic, mea uxor, quid tibi aegre est?
PENICULUS:Such is the return. Do you make haste to eat up the breakfast in my absence; and then in your drunkenness make fun of me, with your chaplet on, before the house.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By all the powers, I have neither breakfasted, nor have I this day set foot inside of that house.
Penicvlvs:Bellus blanditur tibi.Menaechmvs:Potin ut mihi molestus ne sis? num te appello?Matrona:Aufer manum.Penicvlvs:Sic datur. properato absente me comesse prandium,post ante aedis cum corona me derideto ebrius.Menaechmvs:Neque edepol ego prandi neque hodie huc intro tetuli pedem.
PENICULUS:Do you deny it?MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By my troth, I really do deny it.
Penicvlvs:Tun negas?Menaechmvs:Nego hercle vero.
PENICULUS:Nothing is there more audacious than this fellow. Did I not just now see you standing here before the house, with a chaplet of flowers on, when you were declaring that my headpiece wasn’t sound, and declaring that you didn’t know me, and saying that you were a foreigner?
Penicvlvs:Nihil hoc homine audacius.non ego te modo hic ante aedis cum corona floreavidi astare? quom negabas mi esse sanum sinciput,et negabas me novisse, peregrinum aibas esse te?
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:On the contrary, as some time since I parted with you, so I’m now returning home at last.
Menaechmvs:Quin ut dudum divorti abs te, redeo nunc demum domum.
PENICULUS:I understand you. You didn’t think it was in my power to take vengeance upon you; i’ faith, I’ve told it all to your wife.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Told her what?
Penicvlvs:Novi ego te. non mihi censebas esse, qui te ulciscerer.omnia hercle uxori dixi.Menaechmvs:Quid dixisti?
PENICULUS:I don’t know; ask her own self.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (turning to his WIFE.)What’s this, wife? Pray, what has he been telling you? What is it? Why are you silent? Why don’t you say what it is?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:As though you didn’t know.I’ faith, I certainly am a miserable woman.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Why are you a miserable woman? tell me.
Penicvlvs:Nescio,eam ipsus roga.Menaechmvs:Quid hoc est, uxor? quidnam hic narravit tibi?quid id est? quid taces? quin dicis quid sit?Matrona:Quasi tu nescias.…[palla mi est domo surrepta.]Menaechmvs:[Palla surrepta est tibi?]
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Do you ask me?MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Faith, I shouldn’t ask you if I knew.PENICULUS:O the wicked fellow; how he does dissemble. You cannot conceal it; she knows the matter thoroughly; by my faith, I’ve disclosed everything.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:What is it?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Inasmuch as you are not at all ashamed, and don’t wish to confess of your own accord, listen, and attend to this; I’ll both let you know why I’m sorrowful, and what he has told me.
Matrona:Me rogas?Menaechmvs:Pol haud rogem te, si sciam.Penicvlvs:O hominem malum,ut dissimulat. non potes celare: rem novit probe.omnia hercle ego edictavi.Menaechmvs:Quid id est?Matrona:Quando nil pudetneque vis tua voluntate ipse profiteri, audi atque ades.et quid tristis ⟨sim⟩ et quid hic mihi dixerit, faxo scias.
My mantle has been purloined from me at home.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Mantle purloined from me?PENICULUS: (to the WIFE.)
palla mi est domo surrupta.Menaechmvs:Palla surruptast mihi?
D’you see how the rogue is catching you up? (To MENAECHMUS.) It was purloined from her, not from you; for certainly if it had been purloined from you, it would now be safe.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.: (to PENICULUS.)
Penicvlvs:Viden ut ⟨te⟩ scelestus captat? huic surruptast, non tibi.nam profecto tibi surrupta si esset—salva non foret.
I’ve nothing to do with you. But (to his WIFE) what is it you say?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:A mantle, I say, has been lost from home.
Menaechmvs:Nil mihi tecum est. sed tu quid ais?Matrona:Palla, inquam, periit domo.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Who has stolen it?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I faith, he knows that, who took it away.
Menaechmvs:Quis eam surrupuit?Matrona:Pol istuc ille scit qui illam abstulit.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:What person was it?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:A certain Menaechmus.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By my troth,’twas villanously done. Who is this Menaechmus?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:You are he, I say.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:You.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Who accuses me?
Menaechmvs:Quis is homo est?Matrona:Menaechmus quidam.Menaechmvs:Edepol factum nequiter.quis is Menaechmust?Matrona:Tu istic, inquam.Menaechmvs:Egone?Matrona:Tu.Menaechmvs:Quis arguit?
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I, myself.PENICULUS:I, too; and you carried it off to Erotium here, your mistress.
Matrona:Egomet.Penicvlvs:Et ego. atque huic amicae detulisti Erotio.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I, gave it her?PENICULUS:You, you, I say. Do you wish for an owl to be brought here, to say “you, you,” continually to you? For we are now quite tired of it.
Menaechmvs:Egon dedi?Matrona:Tu, tu istic, inquam. vin adferri noctuam,quae “tu tu” usque dicat tibi? nam nos iam defessi sumus.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By Jupiter and all the Gods, I swear, wife (and isn’t that enough for you?), that I did not give it.PENICULUS:Aye, and I, by all the powers, that we are telling no untruth.
Menaechmvs:[Per Iovem deosque omnis adiuro, uxor (satin hoc est tibi?)][non dedisse.]Matrona:[Immo hercle vero, nos non falsum dicere.]
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:But I haven’t given it away, but just only lent it to be made use of.
Menaechmvs:Sed ego illam non condonavi, sed sic utendam dedi.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:But, i’ faith, for my part, I don’t lend either your scarf or your cloak out of the house, to any one, to be made use of.’Tis fair that the woman should lend out of the house the woman’s apparel,the man the man’s. But why don’t you bring the mantle home again?
Matrona:Equidem ecastor tuam nec chlamydem do foras nec palliumcuiquam utendum. mulierem aequom est vestimentum muliebredare foras, virum virile. quin refers pallam domum?
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I’ll have it brought back.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:For your own interest you’ll do so, as I think; for you shall never enter the house to-day unless you bring the mantle with you. I’m going home.PENICULUS: (to the WIFE.)What’s there to be for me, who have given you this assistance?
Menaechmvs:Ego faxo referetur.Matrona:Ex re tua, ut opinor, feceris;nam domum numquam introibis, nisi feres pallam simul.eo domum.Penicvlvs:Quid mihi futurum est, qui tibi hanc operam dedi?
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Your assistance shall be repaid, when anything shall be purloined from your house.The WIFE goes into the house.)PENICULUS:Then, by my troth, that really will never be; for nothing have I at home to lose. May the Gods confound you, both husband and wife. I’ll make haste to the Forum, for I see clearly that I’ve quite fallen out with this family.(Exit.)MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:My wife thinks that she does me an injury when she shuts me out of doors; as though I hadn’t another better place to be admitted into.
Matrona:Opera reddetur, quando quid tibi erit surruptum domo.—Penicvlvs:Id quidem edepol numquam erit, nam nihil est quod perdam domi.cum viro cum uxore di vos perdant. properabo ad forum,nam ex hac familia me plane éxcidisse intellego.—Menaechmvs:Male mi uxor sese fecisse censet, quom exclusit foras;quasi non habeam, quo intromittar, alium meliorem locum.
If I displease you, I must endure it; I shall please Erotium here, who won’t be shutting me out of her house, but will be shutting me up in her house rather. Now I’ll go; I’ll beg her to give me back the mantle that I gave her a while since. I’ll purchase another for her—a better one. Hallo! is any one the porter here? (Knocks at EROTIUM’S door.) Open here, and some one of you call Erotium before the door.(Enter EROTIUM, from her house.)
si tibi displiceo, patiundum: at placuero huic Erotio,quae me non excludet ab se, sed apud se occludet domi.nunc ibo, orabo ut mihi pallam reddat, quam dudum dedi;aliam illi redimam meliorem. heus, ecquis hic est ianitor?aperite atque Erotium aliquis evocate ante ostium.
EROTIUM:Who’s enquiring for me here?MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:One that’s more of an enemy to his own self than to yourself.
Erotivm:Quis hic me quaerit?Menaechmvs:Sibi inimicus magis quam aétati tuae.
EROTIUM:My dear Menaechmus? Why are you standing before the house? Do follow me in-doors.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Stop. Do you know why it is that I’m come to you?
Erotivm:Mi Menaechme, cur ante aedis astas? sequere intro.Menaechmvs:Mane.scin quid est quod ego ad te venio?
EROTIUM:I know well; that you may amuse yourself with me.
Erotivm:Scio, ut tibi ex me sit volup.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Why no, troth, that mantle which I gave you a while since, give it me back, I entreat you; my wife has become acquainted with all the transaction, in its order, just as it happened.
Menaechmvs:Immo edepol pallam illam, amabo te, quam tibi dudum dedi,mihi eam redde. uxor rescivit rem omnem, ut factum est, ordine.
I’ll procure for you a mantle of twofold greater value than you shall wish.
ego tibi redimam bis tanto pluris pallam, quam voles.
EROTIUM:Why, I gave it your own self a little while since, that you might take it to the embroiderer’s, and that bracelet, too, that you might take it to the goldsmith’s that it might be made anew.
Erotivm:Tibi dedi equidem illam, ad phrygionem út ferres, paulo prius,et illud spinter, ut ad aurificem ferres, ut fieret novom.
MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:You, gave me the mantle and the bracelet? You’ll find ’twas never done. For, indeed, after I gave it you a while ago, and went away to the Forum,I’m but just returning, and now see you for the first time since.EROTIUM:I see what plan you are upon; that you may defraud me of what I entrusted to you, at that thing you are aiming—MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:On my word, I do not ask it for the sake of defrauding you. But I tell you that my wife has discovered the matter.
Menaechmvs:Mihi tu ut dederis pallam et spinter? numquam factum reperies.nam ego quidem postquam illam dudum tibi dedi atque abii ad forum,nunc redeo, nunc te postillac video.Erotivm:Video quam rem agis.quia commisi, ut me defrudes, ad eam rem adfectas viam.Menaechmvs:Neque edepol te defrudandi causa posco (quin tibidico uxorem rescivisse)—
EROTIUM:Nor did I of my own accord beg you to give it me; of your own accord you yourself brought it me. You gave it me as a present;
Erotivm:Nec te ultro oravi ut dares:tute ultro ad me detulisti, dedisti eam dono mihi;
now you’re asking for the same thing back again. I’ll put up with it; keep it to yourself; take it away; make use of it, either yourself or your wife, or squeeze it into your money-box even. After this day, that you mayn’t be deceived, you shan’t set your foot in this house, since you hold me in contempt, who deserve so well of you. Unless you bring money, you’ll be disappointed; you can’t cajole me.
eandem nunc reposcis: patiar. tibi habe, aufer, uterevel tu vel tua uxor, vel etiam in loculos compingite.tu huc post hunc diem pedem intro non feres, ne frustra sis;quando tu me bene merentem tibi habes despicatui,nisi feres argentum, frustra me ductare non potes.
Find some other woman, henceforth, for you to be disappointing.MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By my troth, very angry at last. Hallo! you; stay, I bid you. Come you back. Will you stay now? Will you even for my sake come back? (EROTIUM goes into her house, and shuts the door.) She has gone indoors, and shut the house. Now I’m regularly barred out; I have neither any credit at home now, nor with my mistress.
aliam posthac invenito quám habeas frustratui.—Menaechmvs:Nimis iracunde hercle tandem. heús tu, tibi dico, mane,redi. etiamne astas? etiam audes mea revorti gratia?abiit intro, occlusit aedis. nunc ego sum exclusissimus:neque domi neque apud amicam mihi iam quicquam creditur.
I’ll go and consult my friends on this matter, as to what they think should be done.(Exit.) (Enter MENAECHMUS SOSICLES, with the mantle on.)MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:I did very foolishly a while since, in entrusting my purse to Messenio with the money. I suspect he has got himself into some bad house or other. (Enter the WIFE of Menaechmus of Epidamnus, from the house.)
ibo et consulam hanc rem amicos, quid faciendum censeant.—Menaechmvs:Nimis stúlte dudum feci, quom marsuppiumMessenioni cum argento concredidi.immersit aliquo sese, credo, in ganeum.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I’ll look out to see how soon my husband is going to return home.
Matrona:Provisam quam mox vir meus redeat domum.
But here he is; I see him; I’m all right, he’s bringing back the mantle.MENAECHMUS SOSICLES: (to himself.)
sed eccum video. salva sum, pallam refert.
I wonder where Messenio can be walking now.
Menaechmvs:Demiror ubi nunc ambulet Messenio.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I’ll go and receive the fellow with such language as he deserves. (Accosting him.) Are you not ashamed to come forward in my presence, you disgraceful man, in that garb?MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:What’s the matter?
Matrona:Adibo atque hominem accipiam quibus dictis meret.non te pudet prodire in conspectum meum,flagitium hominis, cum istoc ornatu?Menaechmvs:Quid est?
What thing is troubling you, woman?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Do you dare, you shameless fellow, to utter even a single word, or to speak to me?
quae te res agitat, mulier?Matrona:Etiamne, impudens,muttire verbum unum audes aut mecum loqui?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Pray, what wrong have I committed, that I shouldn’t dare to speak to you?
Menaechmvs:Quid tandem admisi in me, ut loqui non audeam?
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Do you ask me? O dear, the impudent audacity of the fellow!
Matrona:Rogas me? ⟨o⟩ hominis impudentem audaciam!
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Don’t you know, madam, for what reason the Greeks used to say that Hecuba was a bitch?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I don’t know, indeed.
Menaechmvs:Non tu scis, mulier, Hecubam quapropter canemGraii esse praedicabant?Matrona:Non equidem scio.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Because Hecuba used to do the same thing that you are now doing. She used to heap all kinds of imprecations on every one she saw; and, therefore, for that reason she was properly begun to be called a bitch.
Menaechmvs:Quia idem faciebat Hecuba quod tu nunc facis:omnia mala ingerebat, quemquem aspexerat.itaque adeo iure coepta appellari est canes.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I can’t put up with this disgraceful conduct of yours;
Matrona:Non ego istaec ⟨tua⟩ flagitia possum perpeti.
for I had rather see my life that of a widow, than endure this vile conduct of yours that you are guilty of.
nam med aetatem viduam ésse mavelim,quam istaec flagitia tua pati quae tu facis.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:What is it to me, whether you are able to endure to live in the married state, or whether you will separate from your husband? Is it thus the fashion here to tell these stories to a stranger on his arrival?
Menaechmvs:Quid id ad me, tu te nuptam possis perpetian sis abitura a tuo viro? an mos hic ita est,peregrino ut advenienti narrent fabulas?
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:What stories? I say, I’ll not endure it henceforth, but live separate rather than put up with these ways.
Matrona:Quas fabulas? non, inquam, patiar praeterhac,quin vidua vivam quam tuos móres perferam.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Troth, so far indeed as I’m concerned, do live separate, even so long as Jupiter shall hold his sway.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By heavens, I’ll certainly now send for my father,and I’ll tell him your disgraceful conduct that you are guilty of. Go, Decio (calling to a SERVANT), seek for my father, that he may come along with you to me; tell him that occasion has arisen for it. I’ll. now disclose to him this disgraceful conduct of yours.
Menaechmvs:Mea quidem hercle causa vidua vivito,vel usque dum regnum optinebit Iuppiter.Matrona:At mihi negabas dudum surrupuisse te,nunc eandem ante oculos attines: non te pudet?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Are you in your senses? What disgraceful conduct of mine?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:When you filch from home my mantle and gold trinkets,without the knowledge of your wife, and carry them off to your mistress. Don’t I state this correctly?
Menaechmvs:Eu hercle, mulier, multum et audax et mala es.tun tibi hanc surreptam dicere audes, quam mihidedit alia mulier ut concinnandam darem?Matrona:Ne istuc mecastor—iam patrem accersam meumatque ei narrabo tua flagitia quae facis.ei, † Deceo, quaere meum patrem, tecum simulut veniat ad me: ita rem esse dicito.iam ego aperiam istaec tua flagitia.
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:O dear! madam, by my faith, you are both very bold and very perverse. Do you dare to say (pointing at the mantle) that this was stolen from you which another woman gave me, for me to get it trimmed?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:A little while since you didn’t deny that you had purloined it from me;do you now hold up that same before my eyes? Are you not ashamed?
Menaechmvs:Sanan es?quae mea flagitia?Matrona:Pallam atque aurum meumdomo suppilas tuae uxori et tuaedegeris amicae. satin haec recte fabulor?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:By my faith, madam, I entreat you, if you know, show me what I’m to drink, by means of which I may put up with your impertinence. What person you are taking me to be, I don’t know;
Menaechmvs:Quaeso hercle, mulier, si scis, monstra quod bibam,tuam qui possim perpeti petulantiam.quem tú hominem ⟨esse me⟩ arbitrere, nescio;
I know you just as well as Parthaon.
ego te simitu novi cum Porthaone.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:If you laugh at me, still, i’ troth, you can’t do so at him; my father, I mean, who’s coming here. Why don’t you look back? Do you know that person?MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Just as well as Calchas do I know him; I have seen him on that same day on which I have seen yourself before this present day.
Matrona:Si me derides, at pol illum non potes,patrem meum, qui huc advenit. quin respicis?novistin tu illum?Menaechmvs:Novi cum Calcha simul:eodém die illum vidi quo te ante hunc diem.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Do you deny that you know me? Do you deny that you know my father?
Matrona:Negas novisse me? negas patrem meum?
MENAECHMUS SOSICLES:Troth, I shall say the same thing, if you choose to bring your grandfather.
Menaechmvs:Idem hercle dicam, sí avom vis adducere.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I’ faith, you do this and other things just in a like fashion.(Enter an OLD MAN, hobbling with a stick.)
Matrona:Ecastor pariter hoc atque alias res soles.
OLD MAN:According as my age permits, and as there is occasion to do so, I’ll push on my steps and make haste to get along.
Senex:Vt aétas mea ést atque ut hóc usus fácto estgradum proferam, progrediri properabo.
But how far from easy ’tis for me, I’m not mistaken as to that. For my agility forsakes me, and I am beset with age; I carry my body weighed down; my strength has deserted me. How grievous a pack upon one’s back is age. For when it comes, it brings very many and very grievous particulars,were I now to recount all of which, my speech would be too long. But this matter is a trouble to my mind and heart, what this business can possibly be on account of which my daughter suddenly requires me to come to her,and doesn’t first let me know what’s the matter, what she wants, or why she sends for me. But pretty nearly do I know now what’s the matter;
sed id quam mihi facile sit, haud sum falsus.nam pernicitas deserit: consitus sumsenectute, onustum gero corpus, viresreliquere: ut aetas mala est; mers mala ergost.nam res plurumas pessumas, quom advenit, fert:quas si aútumem omnis, nimis lóngus sermost.sed haec res mihi in pectore et corde curaest,quidnam hóc sit negóti, quod fília sicrepénte expetít me, ut ád sese irem.nec, quíd id sit, mihí certiús facit, quidvelít, quid me accersat.verúm propemodúm iam sció, quid siet rei.
I suspect that some quarrel has arisen with her husband. So are these women wont to do, who, presuming on their portions, and haughty, require their husbands to be obedient to them; and they as well full oft are not without fault. But still there are bounds, within which a wife ought to be put up with.
credo cum viro litigium natum esse aliquod.ita istaec solent, quae viros subserviresibi postulant, dote fretae, feroces.et illi quoque haud abstinent saepe culpa.verum est modus tamen, quoad pati uxorem oportet;
By my troth, my daughter never sends for her father to come to her except when either something has been done wrong, or there is a cause for quarrelling. But whatever it is, I shall now know. And see, I perceive her herself before the house, and her husband in a pensive mood.’Tis the same as I suspected.
nec pol filia umquam patrem accersit ad se,nisi aut quid commissi aut iurgi est ⟨iusta⟩ causa.sed id quidquid est, iam sciam. atque eccam eampseante aedis et eius virum tristem video.id ést quod suspicábar.
I’ll accost her.THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I’ll go and meet him. May every happiness attend you, my father.
áppellabo hanc.Matrona:Ibo advorsum. sálve multum, mí pater.
OLD MAN:Happiness attend you. Do I find you in good spirits? Do you bid me be fetched in happy mood? Why are you sorrowful? And why does he (pointing at MENAECHMUS) in anger stand apart from you? Something, I know not what, are you two wrangling about between you. Say, in few words, which of the two is in fault: no long speeches, though.
Senex:Salva sis. salven advenio? salven accersi iubes?quid tu tristis es? quid ille autem abs te iratus destitit?nescio quíd vos velitati éstis inter vos duos.loquere, uter meruistis culpam? paucis, non longos logos.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:For my part, I’ve done nothing wrong; as to that point do I at once make you easy, father. But I cannot live or remain here on any account; you must take me away hence immediately.OLD MAN:Why, what’s the matter?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:I am made a laughing-stock of, father.
Matrona:Nusquam equidem quicquam deliqui: hoc primum te absolvo, pater.verum vivere hic non possum neque durare ullo modo.proin tu me hinc abducas.
OLD MAN:By whom?THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:By him to whom you gave me, my husband.
Senex:Quid istuc autem est?Matrona:Ludibrio, pater,habeor.Senex:Vnde?Matrona:Ab illo, quoi me mandavisti, meo viro.
OLD MAN:Look at that — a quarrel now. How often, I wonder,have I told you to be cautious, that neither should be coming to me with your complaints.
Senex:Ecce autem litigium. quotiens tandem édixi tibi,ut caveres, neuter ad me iretis cum querimonia?
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:How, my father, can I possibly guard against that?OLD MAN:Do you ask me? …unless you don’t wish.How often have I told you to be compliant to your husband. Don’t be watching what he does, where he goes, or what matter he’s about.
Matrona:Qui ego istuc, mi pater, cavere possum?Senex:Men interrogas?Matrona:Nisi non vis.Senex:Quotiens monstravi tibi, viro ut morem geras,quid ille faciat, né id observes, quó eat, quid rerum gerat.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Why, but he’s in love with a courtesan here close by.OLD MAN:He is exceedingly wise: and for this painstaking of yours, I would even have him love her the more.
Matrona:At enim ille hinc amat meretricem ex proxumo.Senex:Sane sapit,atque ob istánc industriam etiam faxo amabit amplius.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:He drinks there, too.OLD MAN:And will he really drink the less for you, whether it shall please him to do so there or anywhere else? Plague on it, what assurance is this? On the same principle, you would wish to hinder him from engaging to dine out,or from receiving any other person at his own house. Do you want husbands to be your servants? You might as well expect, on the same principle, to be giving him out his task, and bidding him sit among the female servants and card wool.
Matrona:Atque ibi potat.Senex:Tua quidem ille causa potabit minus,si illic sive alibi libebit? quae haec, malum, impudentiast?una opera prohibere, ad cenam ne promittat, postules,neve quemquam accipiat alienum apud se. serviren tibipostulas viros? dare una ópera pensum postules,inter ancillas sedere iubeas, lanam carere.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:Why, surely, father, I’ve sent for you not to be my advocate, but my husband’s: on this side you stand, on the other you plead the cause.OLD MAN:If he has done wrong in anything,so much the more shall I censure him than I’ve censured you. Since he keeps you provided for and well clothed, and finds you amply in female servants and provisions,’tis better, madam, to entertain kindly feelings.
Matrona:Non equidem mihi te advocatum, pater, adduxi, sed viro.hinc stas, illim causam dicis.Senex:Si ille quid deliquerit,multo tanto illum accusabo, quam te accusavi, amplius.quando te auratam et vestitam bene habet, ancillas penumrecte praehibet, melius sanam est, mulier, mentem sumere.
THE WIFE OF MENAECHMUS of Epidamnus.:But he purloins from me gold trinkets and mantles from out of the chests at home; he plunders me, and secretly carries off my ornaments to harlots.
Matrona:At ille suppilat mihi aurum et pallas ex arcis domo,me despoliat, mea ornamenta clam ad meretrices degerit.