---
title: "The Haunted House · Mostellaria"
author: "Plautus"
translator: "Henry Thomas Riley"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/
cite: "Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley, The Haunted House · Mostellaria. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/"
---

# The Haunted House · Mostellaria

*Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley*

A slave keeps his master out of the house by swearing it is haunted.

> Latin: ed. Friedrich Leo, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi0119.phi013, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Thomas Riley, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi0119.phi013.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (line numbers), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Lines 1–430](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1.md)
2. [Lines 348–857](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/2.md)
3. [Lines 690–1181](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/3.md)

## 1. Lines 1–430

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1/#p-N

[¶0] (Enter, from the house of THEUROPIDES, GRUMIO, pushing out TRANIO.
GRUMIO:
Get out of the kitchen, will you; out of it, you whip-scoundrel, who are giving me your cavilling talk amid the platters; march out of the house, you ruin of your master. Upon my faith, if I only live, I’ll be soundly revenged upon you in the country. Get out, I say, you steam of the kitchen.
Why are you skulking thus?

> Latin: Grvmio:
Exi e culina sis foras, mastigia,
qui mi inter patinas exhibes argutias.
egredere, erilis permities, ex aedibus.
ego pol te ruri, si vivam, ulciscar probe.
exi, inquam, nidor, e culina. quid lates?

[¶1] TRANIO:
Why the plague are you making this noise here before the house? Do you fancy yourself to be in the country? Get out of the house; be off into the country. Go and hang yourself. Get away from the door.
(Striking him.) There now, was it that you wanted?

> Latin: Tranio:
quid tibi, malum, hic ante aedis clamitatiost?
an ruri censes te esse? abscede ab aedibus.
abi rús, abi díerecte, abscede ab ianua.
em, hocíne volebas?

[¶2] GRUMIO: (running away.)
I’m undone! Why are you beating me?

> Latin: Grvmio:
Perii. cur me verberas?

[¶3] TRANIO:
Because you want it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quia vivis.

[¶4] GRUMIO:
I must endure it. Only let the old gentleman return home; only let him come safe home, whom you are devouring in his absence.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Patiar. sine modo adveniat senex.
sine modo venire salvom, quem absentem comes.

[¶5] TRANIO:
You don’t say what’s either likely or true, you blockhead, as to any one devouring a person in his absence.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nec veri simile loquere nec verum, frutex,
comesse quemquam ut quisquam absentem possiet.

[¶6] GRUMIO:
Indeed, you town wit, you minion of the mob, do you throw the country in my teeth? Really, Tranio, I do believe that you feel sure that before long you’ll be handed over to the mill. Within a short period, i’ faith, Tranio, you’ll full soon be adding to the iron-bound race in the country.
While you choose to, and have the opportunity, drink on, squander his property, corrupt my master’s son, a most worthy young man, drink night and day, live like Greeks, make purchase of mistresses, give them their freedom, feed parasites, feast yourselves sumptuously.
Was it thus that the old gentleman enjoined you when he went hence abroad? Is it after this fashion that he will find his property well husbanded? Do you suppose that this is the duty of a good servant, to be ruining both the estate and the son of his master? For I do consider him as ruined, when he devotes himself to these goings on.
A person, with whom not one of all the young men of Attica was before deemed equally frugal or more steady, the same is now carrying off the palm in the opposite direction. Through your management and your tutoring has that been done.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Tu urbanus vero scurra, deliciae popli,
rus mihi tu obiectas? sane hoc, credo, Tranio,
quod te in pistrinum scis actutum tradier.
cis hercle paucas tempestates, Tranio,
augebis ruri numerum, genus ferratile.
nunc, dum tibi lúbet licetque, pota, perde rem,
corrumpe erilem ádulescentem óptumum;
dies noctesque bibite, pergraecamini,
amicas emite liberate, pascite
parasitos, obsonate pollucibiliter.
haecine mandavit tibi, quom peregre hinc it, senex?
hocine modo hic rem curatam offendet suam?
hocine boni esse officium servi existumas,
ut eri sui corrumpat et rem et filium?
nam ego illúm corruptum duco, quom his factis studet;
quo nemo adaeque iuventute ex omni Attica
antehac est habitus parcus nec magis continens,
is nunc in aliam partem palmam possidet.
virtute id factum tua et magisterio tuo.

[¶7] TRANIO:
What the plague business have you with me or with what I do?
Prithee, haven’t you got your cattle in the country for you to look to? I choose to drink, to intrigue, to keep my wenches; this I do at the peril of my own back, and not of yours

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid tibi, malum, me aut quid ego agam curatiost?
an ruri quaeso non sunt, quos cures, bovis?
lubet potare, amare, scorta ducere.
mei tergi facio haec, non tui fiducia.

[¶8] GRUMIO:
Then with what assurance he does talk! (Turning away in disgust.) Faugh!

> Latin: Grvmio:
Quam confidenter loquitur.

[¶9] TRANIO:
But may Jupiter and all the Deities confound you; you stink of garlick,
you filth unmistakeable, you clod, you he-goat, you pig-sty, you mixture of dog and she-goat.

> Latin: Tranio:
At te Iuppiter
dique omnes perdant, fu, oboluisti alium.
germana inluvies, rusticus, hircus, hara suis,
caeno κοπρὼν commixte.

[¶10] GRUMIO:
What would you have to be done? It isn’t all that can smell of foreign perfumes, if you smell of them; or that can take their places at table above their master,
or live on such exquisite dainties as you live upon. Do you keep to yourself those turtle-doves, that fish, and poultry; let me enjoy my lot upon garlick diet. You are fortunate; I unlucky. It must be endured.
Let my good fortune be awaiting me, your bad yourself.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Quid vis fieri?
non omnes possunt olere unguenta exotica,
si tú oles, neque superiores accumbere
neque tam facetis quam tu vivis victibus.
tu tíbi istos habeas turtures piscis avis,
sine me aliato fungi fortunas meas.
tu fortunatus esfortunatu's, ego miser: patiunda sunt.
meum bonum me, te tuom maneat malum.

[¶11] TRANIO:
You seem, Grumio, as though you envied me, because I enjoy myself and you are wretched. It is quite my due. It’s proper for me to make love, and for you to feed the cattle; for me to fare handsomely, you in a miserable way.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quasi invidere mi hoc videre, Grumio,
quia mihi bene est et tibi male est; dignissumumst:
decet me amare et te bubulcitarier,
me victitare pulchre, te miseris modis.

[¶12] GRUMIO:
O riddle for the executioner, as I guess it will turn out; they’ll be so pinking you with goads, as you carry your gibbet along the streets one day, as soon as ever the old gentleman returns here.

> Latin: Grvmio:
O carnuficium cribrum, quod credo fore,
ita te forabunt patibulatum per vias
stimulis ⟨carnufices⟩, si huc reveniat senex.

[¶13] TRANIO:
How do you know whether that mayn’t happen to yourself sooner than to me?

> Latin: Tranio:
Qui scis, an tibi istuc evenat prius quam mihi?

[¶14] GRUMIO:
Because I have never deserved it; you have deserved it, and you now deserve it.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Quia numquam merui, tu meruisti et nunc meres.

[¶15] TRANIO:
Do cut short the trouble of your talking, unless you wish a heavy mischance to befall you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Orationis operam compendi face,
nisi te mala re magna mactari cupis.

[¶16] GRUMIO:
Are you going to give me the tares for me to take for the cattle? If you are not, give me the money. Go on, still persist in the way in which you’ve commenced! Drink, live like Greeks,
eat, stuff yourselves, slaughter your fatlings!

> Latin: Grvmio:
Ervom daturin estis, bubus quod feram?
date, si non estis. agite, porro pergite
quoniam occepistis: bibite, pergraecamini,
este, ecfercite vos, saginam caedite.

[¶17] TRANIO:
Hold your tongue, and be off into the country; I intend to go to the Piraeus to get me some fish for the evening. To-morrow I’ll make some one bring you the tares to the farm. What’s the matter? Why now are you staring at me, gallows-bird?

> Latin: Tranio:
Tace atque abi rús. ego ire in Piraeum volo,
in vesperum parare piscatum mihi.
ervom tibi aliquis cras faxo ad villam adferat.
quid est? quíd tu me nunc optuere, furcifer?

[¶18] GRUMIO:
I’ faith, I’ve an idea that will be your own title before long.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Pol tibi istuc credo nomen actutum fore.

[¶19] TRANIO:
So long as it is as it is, in the meantime I’ll put up with that “before long.”

> Latin: Tranio:
Dum interea sic sit, istuc actutum sino.

[¶20] GRUMIO:
That’s the way; and understand this one thing, that that which is disagreable comes much more speedily than that which you wish for.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Ita est. sed unum hoc scito: nimio celerius
veniet quod noles quam illud, quod cupide petas.

[¶21] TRANIO:
Don’t you be annoying; now then, away with you into the country, and betake yourself off.
Don’t you deceive yourself, henceforth you shan’t be causing me any impediment. (Exit.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Molestus ne sis nunciam, i rus, te amove.
ne tu [erres] hercle praeterhac mihi non facies moram.—

[¶22] GRUMIO: (to himself.)
Is he really gone? Not to care one straw for what I’ve said! O immortal Gods, I do implore your aid, do cause this old gentleman of ours, who has now been three years absent from here, to return hither as soon as possible, before everything
is gone, both house and land. Unless he does return here, remnants to last for a few months only are left. Now I’ll be off to the country; but look! I see my master’s son, one who has been corrupted from having been a most excellent young man. (Exit.)

> Latin: Grvmio:
Satin abiit neque quod dixi flocci existumat?
pro di immortales, obsecro vostram fidem,
facite, huc ut redeat noster quam primum senex,
triennium qui iam hinc abest, prius quam omnia
periere, et aedis et ager; qui nisi huc redit,
paucorum mensum sunt relictae reliquiae.
nunc rus abibo. nam eccum erilem filium
video, corruptum ex adulescente optumo.—

[¶23] (Enter PHILOLACHES, from the house of THEUROPIDES.)
PHILOLACHES: (to himself.)
I’ve often thought and long reflected on it,
and in my breast have held many a debate, and in my heart (if any heart I have) have revolved this matter, and long discussed it, to what thing I’m to consider man as like, and what form he has when he is born?
I’ve now discovered this likeness. I think a man is like unto a new house when he is born. I’ll give my proofs of this fact. (To the AUDIENCE.) And does not this seem to you like the truth? But so I’ll manage that you shall think it is so.
Beyond a doubt I’ll convince you that it is true what I say. And this yourselves, I’m sure, when you have heard my words, will say is no otherwise than just as I now affirm that it is. Listen while I repeat my proofs of this fact;
I want you to be equally knowing with myself upon this matter. As soon as ever a house is built up, nicely polished off, carefully erected, and according to rule, people praise the architect and approve of the house, they take from it each one a model for himself. Each one has something similar, quite at his own expense; they do not spare their pains.
But when a worthless, lazy, dirty, negligent fellow betakes himself thither with an idle family, then is it imputed as a fault to the house, while a good house is being kept in bad repair. And this is often the case; a storm comes on and breaks the tiles and gutters; then
a careless owner takes no heed to put up others. A shower comes on and streams down the walls; the rafters admit the rain; the weather rots the labours of the builder; then the utility of the house becomes diminished; and yet this is not the fault of the builder. But a great part
of mankind have contracted this habit of delay; if anything can be repaired by means of money, they are always still putting it off, and don’t … do it until the walls come tumbling down; then the whole house has to be built anew. These instances from buildings I’ve mentioned; and now I wish to inform you how you are to suppose that men are like houses.
In the first place then, the parents are the builders-up of the children, and lay the foundation for the children; they raise them up, they carefully train them to strength, and that they may be good both for service and for view before the public. They spare not either their own pains or their cost,
nor do they deem expense in that to be an expense. They refine them, teach them literature, the ordinances, the laws; at their own cost and labour they struggle, that others may wish for their own children to be like to them. When they repair to the army, they then find them some relation of theirs as a protector.
At that moment they pass out of the builder’s hands. One year’s pay has now been earned; at that period, then, a sample is on view how the building will turn out. But I was always discreet and virtuous, just as long as I was under the management of the builder.
After I had left him to follow the bent of my own inclinations, at once I entirely spoiled the labours of the builders. Idleness came on; that was my storm; on its arrival, upon me it brought down hail and showers, which overthrew my modesty and the bounds of virtue, and untiled them for me in an instant.
After that I was neglectful to cover in again; at once passion like a torrent entered my heart; it flowed down even unto my breast, and soaked through my heart. Now both property, credit, fair fame, virtue, and honor
have forsaken me; by usage have I become much worse, and, i’ faith (so rotten are these rafters of mine with moisture), I do not seem to myself to be able possibly to patch up my house to prevent it from falling down totally once for all, from perishing from the foundation, and from no one being able to assist me. My heart pains me, when I reflect how I now am and how I once was,
than whom in youthful age not one there was more active in the arts of exercise, with the quoit, the javelin, the ball, racing, arms, and horses. I then lived a joyous life; in frugality and hardihood I was an example to others;
all, even the most deserving, took a lesson from me for themselves. Now that I’m become worthless, to that, indeed, have I hastened through the bent of my inclinations. (He stands apart.)

> Latin: Philolaches:
Recórdatus múltum et diú cogitávi
argúmentaque ín pectus ínstitui multa
ego, átque in meó corde, si ést quod mihí cor,
eám rem volútavi et diú disputávi,
hominém cuius réi, quandó natus esset,
similem ésse arbitrárer simulácrumque habére:
id répperi iam exémplum.
novárum aedium ésse arbitrór similem ego hóminem,
quandó natus ést. ei rei argúmenta dícam.
[atque hóc haud vidétur verí simile vóbis,]
[at ego id faciam esse ita ut credatis.]
[profécto ita esse út praedicó vera víncam.]
atque hóc vosmet ípsi, sció, proinde utí nunc
ego ésse autumó, quando dícta audiétis
mea, haud áliter id dicétis.
auscúltate, argúmenta dúm dico ad hánc rem:
simúl gnarurís vos volo ésse hanc rem mécum.
aedés quom extempló sunt parátae, expolítae,
factaé probe examússim,
laudánt fabrum atque aedés probant, sibi quísque inde exemplum éxpetunt,
sibi quísque similis vólt suas, sumptum óperam ⟨non⟩ parcúnt suam.
átque ubi illo ímmigrat néquam homo, indíligens
cúm pigra fámilia, immúndus, instrénuos,
hic iam aédibus vitium ádditur, bonaé cum curantúr male;
átque illud saépe fit: témpestas venit,
cónfringit tégulas ímbricesque: ibi
dóminus indíligens réddere aliás nevolt;
vénit imber, pérlavit párietes, pérpluont,
tígna putéfacit, pérdit operám fabri:
néquior fáctus iam est úsus aedium.
átque ⟨ea⟩ haud ést fabri cúlpa, sed mágna pars
mórem hunc induxérunt: si quid númmo sarcirí potest,
úsque mantánt neque id fáciunt, donicum
párietes ruont: aédificantur aédes totae dénuo.
haec árgumenta ego aédificiis díxi; nunc etiám volo
dicére, ut homines aédium esse símilis arbitrémini.
primúmdum paréntes fabrí liberúm sunt:
ei fúndamentúm substruont liberórum;
extóllunt, paránt sedulo ín firmitátem
et ut in usum boni et in speciem†
popló sint sibíque, haud matériae repárcunt
nec súmptus ibí sumptuí esse dúcunt;
expóliunt: docént litterás, iura léges,
sumptú suo et labore
nitúntur, ut alií sibi esse illórum similis éxpetant.
ád legionem cum íta ⟨paratos míttunt⟩, adminiclum eís danunt
tum iam, áliquem cognatúm suom.
eátenus. abeunt á fabris. únum ubi emeritum est stipendium,
igitúr tum specimen cérnitur, quo evéniat aedificátio.
nám ego ad illúd frugi usque ét probus fui,
ín fabrorúm potestáte dum fui.
póstea quom ímmigravi íngenium in meum,
pérdidi operám fabrorum ílico oppido.
vénit ignávia, ea míhi tempestás fuit,
mi ádventu suo grándinem [imbremque] attulit;
haéc verecúndiam mi ét virtutís modum
déturbavít detexítque a me ilico;
póstilla optígere me néglegens fui.
contínuo pro imbre amór advenit [in cor meum],
is úsque in pectus pérmanavit, pérmadefecit cór meum.
núnc simul rés, fides, fáma, virtús, decus
déseruerunt: égo sum in usu fáctus nimio néquior.
atque édepol ita haec tigna úmide ⟨iam⟩ pútent: non videór mihi
sarcíre posse aedés meas, quin tótae perpetuaé ruant,
cum fúndamento périerint nec quísquam esse auxilió queat.
cór dolet, cum scio ut núnc sum atque ut fui,
quó neque indústrior dé iuventúte erat
⟨quisquam nec clárior⟩ árte gymnástica:
dísco, hastís, pila, cúrsu, armís, equo
víctitabám volup,
pársimonia ét duritia díscipulinae aliís eram,
óptumi quique éxpetebant á me doctrinám sibi.
núnc, postquam nihilí sum, id vero meópte ingenio répperi.

[¶24] (Enter PHILEMATITUM and SCAPHA, with all the requisites for a toilet.)
PHILEMATIUM:
On my word, for this long time I’ve not bathed in cold water with more delight than just now; nor do I think that I ever was, my dear Scapha, more thoroughly cleansed than now.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Iam prídem ecastor frígida non lávi magis lubénter
nec quom me melius, mea Scapha, rear esse deficatam.

[¶25] SCAPHA:
May the upshot of everything be unto you like a plenteous year’s harvest.

> Latin: Scapha:
Eventus rebus omnibus, velut horno messis magna
fuit.

[¶26] PHILEMATIUM:
What has this harvest got to do with my bathing?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quíd ea messis attinet ad meam lavationem?

[¶27] SCAPHA:
Not a bit more than your bathing has to do with the harvest.

> Latin: Scapha:
Nihilo plus quam lavatio tua ad messim.

[¶28] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
O beauteous Venus, this is that storm of mine which stripped off all the modesty with which I was roofed; through which Desire and Cupid poured their shower into my breast; and never since have I been able to roof it in.
Now are my walls soaking in my heart; this building is utterly undone.

> Latin: Philolaches:
O Venus venusta,
haec illa est tempestas mea, mihi quae modestiam omnem
detexit, tectus qua fui; tum mihi Amor et Cupido
in pectus perpluit meum, neque iam umquam optigere possum:
madent iam in corde parietes, periere haec oppido aedis.

[¶29] PHILEMATIUM:
Do look, my Scapha, there’s a dear, whether this dress quite becomes me. I wish to please Philolaches my protector, the apple of my eye.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Contempla, amabo, mea Scapha, satin haec me vestis deceat.
volo mé placere Philolachi, meo ocello, meo patrono.

[¶30] SCAPHA:
Nay but, you set yourself off to advantage with pleasing manners, inasmuch as you yourself are pleasing. The lover isn’t in love with a woman’s dress, but with that which stuffs out the dress.

> Latin: Scapha:
Quin tu te exornas moribus lepidis, quom lepida tute es?
non vestem amatores amant [mulieris], sed vestis fartim.

[¶31] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
So may the Gods bless me, Scapha is waggish; the hussy’s quite knowing. How cleverly she understands all matters, the maxims of lovers too!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ita me di ament, lepidast Scapha, sapit scelesta multum.
ut lepide omnes mores tenet sententiasque amantum.

[¶32] PHILEMATIUM:
Well now?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quid nunc?

[¶33] SCAPHA:
What is it?

> Latin: Scapha:
Quid est?

[¶34] PHILEMATIUM:
Why look at me and examine, how this becomes me.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quin me aspice et contempla, ut haec me deceat.

[¶35] SCAPHA:
Thanks to your good looks, it happens that whatever you put on becomes you.

> Latin: Scapha:
Virtute formae id evenit, te ut deceat quidquid habeas.

[¶36] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Now then, for that expression, Scapha, I’ll make you some present or other to-day,
and I won’t allow you to have praised her for nothing who is so pleasing to me.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ergo ob istuc verbum te, Scapha, donabo ego hodie aliqui,
neque patiar te istanc gratiis laudasse, quae placet mi.

[¶37] PHILEMATIUM:
I don’t want you to flatter me.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Nolo ego te adsentari mihi.

[¶38] SCAPHA:
Really you are a very simple woman. Come now, would you rather be censured undeservedly, than be praised with truth? Upon my faith, for my own part, even though undeservedly, I’d much rather be praised than be found fault with with reason, or that other people should laugh at my appearance.

> Latin: Scapha:
Nimis tú quidem stulta es mulier.
eho, mavis vituperarier falso quam vero extolli?
equidem pol vel falso tamen laudari multo malo,
quam vero culpari aut meam speciem alios inridere.

[¶39] PHILEMATIUM:
I love the truth; I wish the truth to be told me; I detest a liar.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Ego verum amo, verum volo dici mihi: mendacem odi.

[¶40] SCAPHA:
So may you love me, and so may your Philolaches love you, how charming you are.

> Latin: Scapha:
Ita tu me ames, ita Philolaches tuos té amet, ut venusta es.

[¶41] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
How say you, you hussy? In what words did you adjure? “So may I love her?” Why wasn’t “So may she love me” added as well? I revoke the present.
What I just now promised you is done for; you have lost the present.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ais, scelesta? quo modo adiurasti? ita ego istam amarem?
quid istaéc me, id cur non additum est? infecta dona facio.
periisti: quod promiseram tibi donum, perdidisti.

[¶42] SCAPHA:
Troth, for my part I am surprised that you, a person so knowing, so clever, and so well educated, are not aware that you are acting foolishly.

> Latin: Scapha:
Equidem pol miror tam catam, tam docilem te et bene doctam
nunc stultam stulte facere.

[¶43] PHILEMATIUM:
Then give me your advice, I beg, if I have done wrong in anything.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quin mone quaéso, si quid erro.

[¶44] SCAPHA:
I’ faith, you certainly do wrong, in setting your mind upon him alone, in fact, and humouring him in particular in this way and slighting other men.
It’s the part of a married woman, and not of courtesans, to be devoted to a single lover.

> Latin: Scapha:
Tu ecastor erras, quae quidem illum expectes unum atque illi
morem praecipue sic geras atque alios asperneris.
matronae, non meretricium est unum inservire amantem.

[¶45] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
O Jupiter! Why, what pest is this that has befallen my house? May all the Gods and Goddesses destroy me in the worst of fashions, if I don’t kill this old hag with thirst, and hunger, and cold.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Pro Iuppiter, nam quod malum versatur meae domi illud?
di deaeque me omnes pessumis exemplis interficiant,
nisi ego illam anum interfecero siti fameque atque algu.

[¶46] PHILEMATIUM:
I don’t want you, Scapha, to be giving me bad advice.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Nolo ego mihi male te, Scapha, praecipere.

[¶47] SCAPHA:
You are clearly a simpleton, in thinking that he’ll for everlasting be your friend and well-wisher. I warn you of that; he’ll forsake you by reason of age and satiety.

> Latin: Scapha:
Stulta es plane,
quae illum tibi aeternum putes fore amicum et benevolentem.
moneo ego te: te ille deseret aetate et satietate.

[¶48] PHILEMATIUM:
I hope not.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Non spero.

[¶49] SCAPHA:
Things which you don’t hope happen more frequently than things which you do hope. In fine, if you cannot be persuaded by words to believe this to be the truth, judge of my words from facts; consider this instance, who I now am, and who I once was.
No less than your are now, was I once beloved, and I devoted myself to one, who, faith, when with age this head changed its hue, forsook and deserted me. Depend on it, the same will happen to yourself.

> Latin: Scapha:
Insperata accidunt magis saépe quam quae speres.
postremo, si dictis nequis perduci, ut vera haec credas
mea dicta, ex factis nosce rem. vides quaé sim; et quae fui ante.
nihilo ego quam nunc tu … amata sum; átque uni modo gessi morem:
qui pol me, ubi aetate hoc caput colorem commutavit,
reliquit deseruitque me. tibi idem futurum credo.

[¶50] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I can scarcely withhold myself from flying at the eyes of this mischief-maker.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vix comprimor, quin involem illi in oculos stimulatrici.

[¶51] PHILEMATIUM:
I am of opinion that I ought to keep myself alone devoted to him,
since to myself alone has he given freedom for himself alone.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Solam ille me soli sibi suo ⟨sumptu⟩ liberavit:
illi me soli censeo esse oportere opsequentem.

[¶52] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
O ye immortal Gods! what a charming woman, and of a disposition how chaste! By heaven,’tis excellently done, and I’m rejoiced at it, that it is for her sake I’ve got nothing left.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Pro di immortales, mulierem lepidam et pudico ingenio.
bene hercle factum et gaudeo mihi nihil esse huius causa.

[¶53] SCAPHA:
On my word you really are silly.

> Latin: Scapha:
Inscita ecastor tu quidem es.

[¶54] PHILEMATIUM:
For what reason?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quapropter?

[¶55] SCAPHA:
Because you care for this, whether he loves you.

> Latin: Scapha:
Quae istuc ⟨cures⟩,
ut te ille amet.

[¶56] PHILEMATIUM:
Prithee, why should I not care for it?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cur obsecro non curem?

[¶57] SCAPHA:
You now are free.
You’ve now got what you wanted; if he didn’t still love you, as much money as he gave for your liberty, he’d lose.

> Latin: Scapha:
Libera es iam.
tu iam quod quaerebas habes: ille té nisi amabit ultro,
id pro tuo capite quod dedit perdiderit tantum argenti.

[¶58] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Heavens, I’m a dead man if I don’t torture her to death after the most shocking fashion. That evil-persuading enticer to vice is corrupting this damsel.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Perii hercle, ni ego illam pessumis exemplis enicasso.
illa hanc corrumpit mulierem malesuada † vitilena.

[¶59] PHILOLACHES:
Scapha, I can never return him sufficient thanks for what he deserves of me;
don’t you be persuading me to esteem him less.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Numquam ego illi possum gratiam referre ut meritust de me.
Scapha, id tu mihi ne suadeas, ut illúm minoris pendam.

[¶60] SCAPHA:
But take care and reflect upon this one thing, if you devote yourself to him alone, while now you are at this youthful age, you’ll be complaining to no purpose in your aged years.

> Latin: Scapha:
At hoc únum facito cogites: si illum inservibis solum
dum tibi nunc haec aetatulast, in sénecta male querere.

[¶61] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I could wish myself this instant changed into a quinsy, that I might seize the throat of that old witch, and put an end to the wicked mischief-maker.

> Latin: Philolaches:
In anginam ego nunc me velim verti, ut veneficae illi
fauces prehendam atque enicem scelestam stimulatricem.

[¶62] PHILEMATIUM:
It befits me now to have the same grateful feelings since I obtained it, as formerly before I acquired it, when I used to lavish caresses upon him.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Eundem ánimum oportet nunc mihi esse gratum, ut impetravi,
atque olim, prius quam id extudi, quom illi subblandiebar.

[¶63] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
May the Gods do towards me what they please, if for that speech I don’t make you free over again, and if I don’t torture Scapha to death.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Divi me faciant quod volunt, ni ob istam orationem
te liberasso denuo et ni Scapham enicasso.

[¶64] SCAPHA:
If you are quite assured that you will have a provision to the end,
and that this lover will be your own for life, I think that you ought to devote yourself to him alone, and assume the character of a wife.

> Latin: Scapha:
Si tibi sat acceptum est fore tibi victum sempiternum
atque illum amatorem tibi proprium futurum in vita,
soli gerundum censeo morem et capiundas crines.

[¶65] PHILEMATIUM:
Just as a person’s character is, he’s in the habit of finding means accordingly; if I keep a good character for myself I shall be rich enough.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Vt fama est homini, exin solet pecuniam invenire.
ego si bonam famam mihi servasso, sat ero dives.

[¶66] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
By my troth, since selling there must be, my father shall be sold much sooner
than, while I’m alive, I’ll ever permit you to be in want or go a-begging.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Siquidem hércle vendundust pater, venibit multo potius,
quam te me vivo umquam sinam egere aut mendicare.

[¶67] SCAPHA:
What’s to become of the rest of those who are in love with you?

> Latin: Scapha:
Quid illís futurum est ceteris qui té amant?

[¶68] PHILEMATIUM:
They’ll love me the more when they see me displaying gratitude to one who has done me services.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Magis amabunt,
quom ⟨me⟩ videbunt gratiam referre ⟨bene mere⟩nti.

[¶69] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I do wish that news were brought me now that my father’s dead, that I might disinherit myself of my property, and that she might be my heir.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vtinam nunc meus emortuos pater ad me nuntietur,
ut ego exheredem meis bonis me faciam atque haec sit heres.

[¶70] SCAPHA:
This property of his will certainly soon be at an end; day and night there’s eating and drinking, and no one displays thriftiness;’tis downright cramming.

> Latin: Scapha:
Iam ista quidem absumpta res erit: dies nóctesque estur bibitur,
neque quisquam parsimoniam adhibet: sagina plane est.

[¶71] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I’ faith, I’m determined to make trial on yourself for the first to be thrifty; for you shall neither eat nor drink anything at my house for the next ten days.

> Latin: Philolaches:
In te hercle certumst principe ut sim parcus experiri,
nam neque edes quicquam neque bibes apud me his decem diebus.

[¶72] PHILEMATIUM:
If you choose to say anything good about him, you shall be at liberty to say it;
if you speak otherwise than well, on my word you shall have a beating instantly.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Si quid tu in illum bene voles loqui, id loqui licebit:
nec recte si illi dixeris, iam ecastor vapulabis.

[¶73] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Upon my faith, if I had paid sacrifice to supreme Jove with that money which I gave for her liberty, never could I have so well employed it. Do see, how, from her very heart’s core, she loves me! Oh, I’m a fortunate man; I’ve liberated in her a patron to plead my cause for me.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Edepol si summo Ióvi bovi eo argénto sacruficassem,
pro illius capite quod dedi, numquam aeque id bene locassem.
videas eam medullitus me amare. oh, probus homo sum:
quae pro me causam diceret, patronum liberavi.

[¶74] SCAPHA:
I see that, compared with Philolaches, you disregard all other men; now, that on his account I mayn’t get a beating, I’ll agree with you in preference, if you are quite satisfied that he will always prove a friend to you.

> Latin: Scapha:
Video te nihili pendere prae Philolache omnis homines.
nunc, ne eius causa vapulem, tibi potius adsentabor.
[si acceptum sat habes, tibi fore illum amicum sempiternum.]

[¶75] PHILEMATIUM:
Give me the mirror, and the casket with my trinkets, directly, Scapha, that I may be quite dressed when Philolaches, my delight, comes here.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cédo mi speculum et cum ornamentis arculam actutum, Scapha,
ornata ut sim, quom huc adveniat Philolaches voluptas mea.

[¶76] SCAPHA:
A woman who neglects herself and her youthful age has occasion for a mirror; what need of a mirror have you, who yourself are in especial a mirror for a mirror.

> Latin: Scapha:
Mulier quae se suamque aetatem spernit, speculo ei usus est:
quid opust speculo tibi, quae tute speculo speculum es maxumum?

[¶77] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
For that expression, Scapha, that you mayn’t have said anything so pretty in vain, I’ll to-day give something for your savings—to you, my Philematium.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ob istuc verbum, ne nequiquam, Scapha, tam lepide dixeris,
dabo aliquid hodie peculi tibi, Philematium mea.

[¶78] PHILEMATIUM: (while SCAPHA is dressing her hair.)
Will you see that each hair is nicely arranged in its own place?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Suo quique loco (viden?) capillus satis compositust commode.

[¶79] SCAPHA:
When you yourself are so nice, do believe that your hair must be nice.

> Latin: Scapha:
Vbi tu commoda es, capillum commodum esse credito.

[¶80] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Out upon it! what worse thing can possibly be spoken of than this woman? Now the jade’s a flatterer, just now she was all contradictory.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vah, quid illá pote peius quicquam muliere memorarier?
nunc adsentatrix scelesta est, dudum adversatrix erat.

[¶81] PHILEMATIUM:
Hand me the ceruse.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cedo cerussam.

[¶82] SCAPHA:
Why, what need of ceruse have you?

> Latin: Scapha:
Quid cerussa opust nám?

[¶83] PHILEMATIUM:
To paint my cheeks with it.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Qui malas oblinam.

[¶84] SCAPHA:
On the same principle, you would want to be making ivory white with ink.

> Latin: Scapha:
Vna operá ebur atramento candefacere postules.

[¶85] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Cleverly said that, about the ink and the ivory! Bravo! I applaud you, Scapha.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Lepide dictum de atramento atque ebore. euge, plaudo Scaphae.

[¶86] PHILEMATIUM:
Well then, do you give me the rouge.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Tum tu igitur cedo purpurissum.

[¶87] SCAPHA:
I shan’t give it. You really are a clever one. Do you wish to patch up a most clever piece with new daubing? It’s not right that any paint should touch that person, neither ceruse, nor quince-ointment, nor any other wash.
Take the mirror, then. (Hands her the glass.)

> Latin: Scapha:
Non do. scita es tu quidem.
nova pictura interpolare vis opus lepidissimum?
non istanc aetatem oportet pigmentum ullum attingere,
neque cerussam neque melinum, neque aliam ullam offuciam.

[¶88] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Ah wretched me!—she gave the glass a kiss. I could much wish for a stone, with which to break the head of that glass.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cape igitur speculum.
Philolaches:
Ei mihi misero, savium speculo dedit.
nimis velim lapidem, qui ego illi speculo diminuam caput.

[¶89] SCAPHA:
Take the towel and wipe your hands.

> Latin: Scapha:
Linteum cape atque exterge tibi manus.

[¶90] PHILEMATIUM:
Why so, prithee?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quid ita, obsecro?

[¶91] SCAPHA:
As you’ve been holding the mirror, I’m afraid that your hands may smell of silver; lest Philolaches should suspect you’ve been receiving silver somewhere.

> Latin: Scapha:
Vt speculum tenuisti, metuo né olant argentum manus:
ne usquam argentum te accepisse suspicetur Philolaches.

[¶92] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I don’t think that I ever did see any one procuress more cunning. How cleverly and artfully did it occur to the jade’s imagination about the mirror!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Non videor vidisse lenam callidiorem ullam alteras.
ut lepide atque astute in mentem venit de speculo malae.

[¶93] PHILEMATIUM:
Do you think I ought to be perfumed with unguents as well?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Etiamne unguentis unguendam censes?

[¶94] SCAPHA:
By no means do so.

> Latin: Scapha:
Minime feceris.

[¶95] PHILEMATIUM:
For what reason?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quapropter?

[¶96] SCAPHA:
Because, i’ faith, a woman smells best when she smells of nothing at all. For those old women who are in the habit of anointing themselves with unguents, vampt up creatures,
old hags, and toothless, who hide the blemishes of the person with paint, when the sweat has blended itself with the unguents, forthwith they stink just like when a cook has poured together a variety of broths; what they smell of, you don’t know, except this only, that you understand that badly they do smell.

> Latin: Scapha:
Quia ecastor mulier recte olet, ubi nihil olet.
nam istae veteres, quae se unguentis unctitant, interpoles,
vetulae, edentulae, quae vitia corporis fuco occulunt,
ubi sese sudor cum unguentis consociavit, ilico
itidem olent, quasi cum una multa iura confudit cocus.
quid olant nescias, nisi id unum, † ni male olere intellegas.

[¶97] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
How very cleverly she does understand everything! There’s nothing more knowing than this knowing woman!
(To the AUDIENCE.) This is the truth, and a very great portion, in fact, of you know it, who have old women for wives at home who purchased you with their portions.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vt perdocte cuncta callet. nihil hac docta doctius.
verum illud ésse maxima adeo pars vestrorum intellegit,
quibus anus domi súnt uxores, quae vos dote meruerunt.

[¶98] PHILEMATIUM:
Come now, examine my golden trinkets and my mantle; does this quite become me, Scapha?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Agedum contempla aurum et pallam, satin haec ⟨me⟩ deceat, Scapha.

[¶99] SCAPHA:
It befits not me to concern myself about that.

> Latin: Scapha:
Non me istuc curare oportet.

[¶100] PHILEMATIUM:
Whom then, prithee?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quem obsecro igitur?

[¶101] SCAPHA:
I’ll tell you;
Philolaches; so that he may not buy anything except that which he fancies will please you. For a lover buys the favours of a mistress for himself with gold and purple garments. What need is there for that which he doesn’t want as his own, to be shown him still? Age is to be enveloped in purple; gold ornaments are unsuitable for a woman. A beautiful woman will be more beautiful naked than drest in purple.
Besides, it’s in vain she’s well-drest if she’s ill-conducted; ill-conduct soils fine ornaments worse than dirt. But if she’s beauteous, she’s sufficiently adorned.

> Latin: Scapha:
Eloquar:
Philolachem, is ne quid emat, nisi quod sibi placere censeat.
[nám amator meretricis mores sibi emit auro et purpura.]
quid opust, quod suom esse nolit, ei ultro ostentarier?
[purpura aetati occultandaest, aurum turpi mulieri.]
pulchra mulier nuda erit quam purpurata pulchrior:
[poste nequiquam exornata est bene, si morata est male.]
[pulchrum ornatum turpes mores peius caeno conlinunt.]
nam si pulchra est, nimis ornata est.

[¶102] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Too long have I withheld my hand. (Coming forward.) What are you about here?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Nimis diu abstineo manum.
quid hic vos agitis?

[¶103] PHILEMATIUM:
I’m decking myself out to please you.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Tibi me exorno út placeam.

[¶104] PHILOLACHES:
You are dressed enough. (To SCAPHA.) Go you hence in-doors, and take away this finery. (SCAPHA goes into the house.) But, my delight,
my Philematium, I have a mind to regale together with you.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ornata es satis.
abi tu hinc intro atque ornamenta haec aufer. sed, voluptas mea,
mea Philematium, potare tecum conlibitum est mihi.

[¶105] PHILEMATIUM:
And, i’ faith, so I have with you; for what you have a mind to, the same have I a mind to, my delight.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Et edepol mihi tecum, nam quod tibi libet idem mihi libet,
mea voluptas.

[¶106] PHILOLACHES:
Ha! at twenty mine that expression were cheap.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Em istuc verbum vile est viginti minis.

[¶107] PHILEMATIUM:
Give me ten, there’s a dear; I wish to let you have that expression bought a bargain.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cedo, amabo, decem: bene emptum tibi dare hoc verbum volo.

[¶108] PHILOLACHES:
You’ve already got ten minae with you; or reckon up the account:
thirty minae I gave for your freedom—

> Latin: Philolaches:
Etiam nunc decem minae apud te sunt; vel rationem puta.
triginta minas pro capite tuo dedi.

[¶109] PHILEMATIUM:
Why reproach me with that?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cur exprobras?

[¶110] PHILOLACHES:
What, I reproach you with it? Why, I had rather that I myself were reproached with it; no money whatever for this long time have I ever laid out equally well.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Egone id exprobrem, qui mihimet cupio id opprobrarier?
nec quicquam argenti locavi iam diu usquam aeque bene.

[¶111] PHILEMATIUM:
Surely, in loving you, I never could have better employed my pains.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Certe ego, quod te amo, operam nusquam melius potui ponere.

[¶112] PHILOLACHES:
The account, then, of receipts and expenditure fully tallies between ourselves;
you love me, I love you. Each thinks that it is so deservedly. Those who rejoice at this, may they ever rejoice at the continuance of their own happiness. Those who envy, let not any one henceforth be ever envious of their blessings.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Bene igitur ratio accepti atque expensi inter nos convenit:
tu me amas, ego té amo; merito id fieri uterque existimat.
haec qui gaudent, gaudeant perpetuo suo semper bono;
qui invident, ne umquam eorum quisquam invideat prosus commodis.

[¶113] PHILEMATIUM: (pointing to a couch on the stage.)
Come, take your place, then. (At the door, to a SERVANT, who obeys.) Boy, bring some water for the hands; put a little table here. See where are the dice. Would you like some perfumes? (They recline on the couch.)

> Latin: Philemativm:
Age accumbe igitur. cedo aquam manibus, puere, appone hic mensulam.
vide, tali ubi sint. vin unguenta?

[¶114] PHILOLACHES:
What need is there? Along with myrrh I am reclining.
But isn’t this my friend who’s coming hither with his mistress?’Tis he; it’s Callidamates; look, he’s coming. Capital! my sweet one, see, our comrades are approaching; they’re coming to share the spoil.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid opust? cum stacta accubo.
sed estne hic meus sodalis, qui huc incedit cúm amica sua?
is est, Callidamates cum amica incedit. euge, oculus meus,
conveniunt manuplares eccos: praedam participes petunt.

[¶115] (Enter CALLIDAMATES, at a distance, drunk, and DELPHIUIM, followed by a SERVANT.)
CALLIDAMATES: (to his SERVANT.)
I want you to come for me in good time to the house of Philolaches; listen you; well then! those are your orders. (Exit SERVANT.)
For from the place where I was, thence did I betake myself off; so confoundedly tired was I there. with the entertainment and the discourse. Now I’ll go to Philolaches to have a bout there he’ll receive us with jovial feelings and handsomely. Do I seem to you to be fairly drenched, my bubsy?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Advérsum veníri mihi ád Philolachétem
voló temperi. aúdi, em tibi ímperatum est.
nam ílli ubi fui, inde éffugi foras,
ita me íbi male convívi sermónisque taésumst.
nunc cómissatum íbo ad Phílolachetem,
ubi nós hilari ingénio et lépide accipient.
ecquíd tibi videór mammamadére?

[¶116] DELPHIUM:
You ought always to live pursuing this course of life.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Sémper istóc modo.
moratus esmorátu's tu te. ⟨íre huc⟩ debébas.

[¶117] CALLIDAMATES:
Should you like, then, for me to hug you, and you me?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Visne égo te ac tu me ampléctare?

[¶118] DELPHIUM:
If you’ve a mind to do so, of course.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Si tíbi cordi est faceré, licet.

[¶119] CALLIDAMATES:
You are a charming one. (He stumbles.) Do hold me up, there’s a dear.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Lépida es.
dúc me amabó.

[¶120] DELPHIUM: (holding him by the arm.)
Take care you don’t fall. Stand up.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Cave né cadas, ásta.

[¶121] CALLIDAMATES:
O! you are the apple of my eye. I’m your fosterling, my honey.
(He stumbles.)

> Latin: Callidamates:
O—o—ocellús meus, túos sum alumnus, mél meum.

[¶122] DELPHIUM: (still holding him up.)
Only do take care that you don’t recline in the street, before we get to a place where a couch is ready laid.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Cáve modo, né prius ín via accúmbas,
quam ílli, ubi léctus est strátus, concúmbimus.

[¶123] CALLIDAMATES:
Do let me fall.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Síne, sine cádere me.

[¶124] DELPHIUM:
Well, I’ll let you. (Lets go.)

> Latin: Delphivm:
Síno, sed hoc, quod mi in manu est:
sí cades, nón cades quín cadam técum.

[¶125] CALLIDAMATES: (dragging her as he falls.)
But that as well which I’ve got hold of in my hand.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Iacéntis tollet póstea nos ámbos aliquis.

[¶126] DELPHIUM:
If you fall, you shan’t fall without me falling with you. Then some one shall pick us both up as we lie (Aside.) The man’s quite drenched.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Madet hómo.

[¶127] CALLIDAMATES: (overhearing.)
Do you say that I am drenched, my bubsy?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Tun me ais mammámadere?

[¶128] DELPHIUM:
Give me your hand; I really do not want … you hurt.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Cedo mánum, nolo equidem te ádfligi.

[¶129] CALLIDAMATES: (giving his hand.)
There now, take it.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Em téne.

[¶130] DELPHIUM:
Come, move on with me.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Age, i símul.

[¶131] CALLIDAMATES:
Where am I going, do you know?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Quo ego eam?

[¶132] DELPHIUM:
I know.

> Latin: Delphivm:
An ⟨ne⟩scis?

[¶133] CALLIDAMATES:
It has just come into my head:
why, of course I’m going home for a booze.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Scio, ín mentem venít modo:
nempe dómum eo comissátum.

[¶134] DELPHIUM:
Why yes, really now I do remember that.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Immo, ístuc quidem.
Callidamates:
Iam mémini.

[¶135] PHILOLACHES:
Won’t you let me go to find them, my life? Of all persons I wish well to him especially. I’ll return just now.
(Goes forward towards the door.)

> Latin: Philolaches:
Núm non vis me óbviam hís ire, anime mi?
ílli ego ex ómnibus óptume volo.
iám revertár.

[¶136] PHILEMATIUM:
That “just now” is a long time to me.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Diu ést iam id mihi.

[¶137] CALLIDAMATES: (going to the door and knocking.)
Is there any person here?
PHILOLACHES:’Tis he.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Écquis hic ést?
Philolaches:
Adest.

[¶138] CALLIDAMATES: (turning round.)
Bravo! Philolaches,
good day to you, most friendly to me of all men.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Eú, Philolaches,
sálve, amicíssime mi ómnium hominum.

[¶139] PHILOLACHES:
May the Gods bless you. (Pointing to a couch.) Take your place, Callidamates. (He takes his place.) Whence are you betaking yourself?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Dí te ament. áccuba, Cállidamates.
únde agis te?

[¶140] CALLIDAMATES:
Whence a drunken man does.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Únde homo ébrius probe.

[¶141] PHILOLACHES:
Well said. But, my Delphium, do take your place, there’s a dear.
(She takes her place on a couch.)

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quín amabo áccubas, Délphium mea?
da ílli quod bibat.

[¶142] CALLIDAMATES:
Give her something to drink.
I shall go to sleep directly.
(Nods and goes to sleep.)

> Latin: Callidamates:
Dórmiam ego iam.

[¶143] PHILOLACHES:
He doesn’t do anything wonderful or strange.
What shall I do with him then, my dear?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Núm mirum aut novom quíppiam facit?

[¶144] DELPHIUM:
Let him alone just as he is.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Quíd ego hoc faciam póstea?

[¶145] PHILOLACHES:
Come, you boy. Meanwhile, speedily pass the goblet round, beginning with Delphium.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Mea, síc sine eumpse.
age tu ínterim da ab Délphio cito cántharum circum.

[¶146] (Enter TRANIO, at a distance.)
TRANIO: (to himself.)
Supreme Jove, with all his might and resources, is seeking for me and Philolaches, my master’s son, to be undone.
Our hopes are destroyed; nowhere is there any hold for courage; not even Salvation now could save us if she wished. Such an immense mountain of woe have I just now seen at the harbour: my master has arrived from abroad; Tranio is undone! (To the. AUDIENCE.) Is there any person who’d like to make gain of a little money,
who could this day endure to take my place in being tortured? Where are those fellows hardened to a flogging, the wearers-out of iron chains, or those, who, for the consideration of three didrachms, would get beneath besieging towers, where some are in the way of having their bodies pierced with fifteen spears? I’ll give a talent to that man who shall be the first to run to the cross for me;
but on condition that twice his feet, twice his arms are fastened there. When that shall have been done, then ask the money down of me. But am I not a wretched fellow, not at full speed to be running home?

> Latin: Tranio:
Iúppiter supremus summis opibus atque industriis
me periisse et Philolachetem cupit erilem filium.
occidit Spes nostra, nusquam stabulum est Confidentiae,
nec Salus nobis saluti iam esse, si cupiat, potest:
ita mali, maeroris montem maximum ad portum modo
conspicatus sum: erus advenit peregre, periit Tranio.
ecquis homo est, qui facere argenti cupiat aliquantum lucri,
quí hodie sese excruciari meam vicem possit pati?
ubi sunt isti plagipatidae, ferritribaces viri,
vel isti qui hosticas trium númmum causa subeunt sub falas,
ubi quinis aut denis hastis corpus transfigi solet?
ego dabo ei talentum, primus qui in crucem excucurrerit;
sed ea lege, ut offigantur bis pedes, bis bracchia.
ubi id erit factum, a me argentum petito praesentarium.
sed ego—sumne infelix, qui non curro curriculo domum?

[¶147] PHILOLACHES:
Here come the provisions; see, here’s Tranio; he’s come back from the harbour.
TRANIO: (running.)
Philolaches!

> Latin: Philolaches:
⟨Adest⟩ adest opsonium. eccum Tranio a portu redit.
Tranio:
Philolaches.

[¶148] PHILOLACHES:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid est?

[¶149] TRANIO:
Both I and you—

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Et⟩ ego et tu—

[¶150] PHILOLACHES:
What about “Both I and you?”

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid et ego et tu?

[¶151] TRANIO:
Are undone!

> Latin: Tranio:
Periimus.

[¶152] PHILOLACHES:
Why so?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ita?

[¶153] TRANIO:
Your father’s here.

> Latin: Tranio:
Pater adest.

[¶154] PHILOLACHES:
What is it I hear of you?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ego ex te aúdio?

[¶155] TRANIO:
We are finished up. Your father’s come, I say.

> Latin: Tranio:
Absumpti sumus.
pater inquam tuos venit.

[¶156] PHILOLACHES: (starting up.)
Where is he, I do entreat you?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vbi is est, obsecro?

[¶157] TRANIO:
He’s coming.

> Latin: Tranio:
… adest.

[¶158] PHILOLACHES:
Coming? Who says so? Who has seen him?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quis id ait? quis vidit?

[¶159] TRANIO:
I saw him myself, I tell you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Egomet inquam vidi.

[¶160] PHILOLACHES:
Woe unto me! what am I about?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vae mihi.
quid ego ago?

[¶161] TRANIO:
Why the plague now do you ask me what you are about? Taking your place at table, of course.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nam quid tu, malum, me rogitas quid agas? accubas.

[¶162] PHILOLACHES:
Did you see him?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Tutin vidisti?

[¶163] TRANIO:
I my own self, I tell you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Egomet, inquam.

[¶164] PHILOLACHES:
For certain?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Certe?

[¶165] TRANIO:
For certain, I tell you.

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Certe⟩ inquam.

[¶166] PHILOLACHES:
I’m undone,
if you are telling the truth.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Occidi,
si tu vera memoras.

[¶167] TRANIO:
What good could it be to me if I told a lie?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid mihi sit boni, si mentiar?

[¶168] PHILOLACHES:
What shall I do now?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ego nunc faciam?

[¶169] TRANIO: (pointing to the table and couches.)
Order all these things to be removed from here. (Pointing.) Who’s that asleep there?
PHILOLACHES:
Callidamates.

> Latin: Tranio:
Iube haec hinc omnia amolirier.
quis istic dormit?
Philolaches:
Callidamates.

[¶170] TRANIO:
Arouse him, Delphium.

> Latin: Tranio:
Suscita istum, Delphium.

[¶171] DELPHIUM: (bawling out in his ear.)
Callidamates! Callidamates! awake!

> Latin: Delphivm:
Callidamates, Callidamates, vigila.

[¶172] CALLIDAMATES: (raising himself a little.)
I am awake; give me something to drink.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Vigilo, cedo [ut] bibam.

[¶173] DELPHIUM:
Awake; the father of Philolaches has arrived from abroad.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Vigila. pater advenit peregre Philolachis.

[¶174] CALLIDAMATES:
I hope his father’s well.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Valeat pater.

[¶175] PHILOLACHES:
He is well indeed; but I am utterly undone.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Valet ille quidem, atque ⟨ego⟩ disperii.

[¶176] CALLIDAMATES:
You, utterly undone? How can that be?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Bis periisti? qui potest?

[¶177] PHILOLACHES:
By heavens! do get up, I beg of you; my father has arrived.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quaeso edepol, exsurge; pater advenit.

[¶178] CALLIDAMATES:
Your father has come? Bid him go back again. What business had he to come back here so soon?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Tuos venit pater?
iube abíre rursum. quíd illi reditio etiam húc fuit?

[¶179] PHILOLACHES:
What am I to do? My father will, just now, be coming and unfortunately finding me amid drunken carousals, and the house full of revellers and women. It’s a shocking bad job,
to be digging a well at the last moment, just when thirst has gained possession of your throat; just as I, on the arrival of my father, wretch that I am, am now enquiring what I am to do.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ego agam? pater iam híc me offendet miserum adveniens ebrium,
aedis plenas convivarum et mulierum. miserum est opus,
igitur demum fodere puteum, úbi sitis fauces tenet;
sicut ego adventu patris nunc quaero quid faciam miser.

[¶180] TRANIO: (pointing at CALLIDAMATES.)
Why look, he has laid down his head and gone to sleep. Do arouse him.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ecce autem ⟨iterum⟩ hic deposivit caput et dormit. suscita.

[¶181] PHILOLACHES: (shaking him.)
Will you awake now? My father, I tell you, will be here this instant.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Etiam vigilas? pater, inquam, aderit iam hic meus.

[¶182] CALLIDAMATES:
How say you? Your father? Give me my shoes, that I may take up arms. On my word, I’ll kill your father this instant.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Ain tu, pater?
cedo soleas mihi, ut arma capiam. iam pol ego occidam patrem.

[¶183] PHILOLACHES: (seizing hold of him.)
You’re spoiling the whole business;
do hold your tongue.
(To DELPHIUM.) Prithee, do carry him off in your arms into the house.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Perdis rem.
Delphivm:
Tace, amabo.
Tranio:
Abripite hunc intro actutum inter manus.

[¶184] CALLIDAMATES: (To DELPHIUM, who is lifting him up.)
Upon my faith, I’ll be making an utensil of you just now, if you don’t find me one.
(He is led off into the house.)

> Latin: Callidamates:
Iam hercle ego vos pro matula habebo, nisi mihi matulam datis.

[¶185] PHILOLACHES:
I’m undone!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Perii.

[¶186] TRANIO:
Be of good courage; I’ll cleverly find a remedy for this alarm.

> Latin: Tranio:
Habe bonum animum: ego istum lepide medicabo metum.

[¶187] PHILOLACHES:
I’m utterly ruined!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Nullus sum.

[¶188] TRANIO:
Do hold your tongue; I’ll think of something by means of which to alleviate this for you. Are you satisfied, if on his arrival I shall so manage your father,
not only that he shall not enter, but even that he shall run away to a distance from the house? Do you only be off from here in-doors, and remove these things from here with all haste.

> Latin: Tranio:
Taceas: ego qui istaec sedem meditabor tibi.
satin habes, si ego advenientem íta patrem faciam tuom,
non modo ne intro eat, verum etiam ut fugiat longe ab aedibus?
vos modo hinc abite intro atque haec hinc propere amolimini.

[¶189] PHILOLACHES:
Where am I to be?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vbi ego ero?

[¶190] TRANIO:
Where you especially desire: with her (pointing to PHILEMATIUM); with this girl, too, you’ll be. (Pointing to DELPHEIUM.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Vbi maxime esse vis: cum hác, cum istac eris.

[¶191] DELPHIUM:
How then? Are we to go away from here?

> Latin: Delphivm:
Quid si igitur abeamus hinc nos?

[¶192] TRANIO:
Not far from here, Delphium. For carouse away in the house not a bit the less on account of this.

> Latin: Tranio:
Non hoc longe, Delphium.
nam intus potate hau tantillo hác quidem causa minus.

[¶193] PHILOLACHES:
Ah me! I’m in a sweat with fear as to how these fine words are to end!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ei mihi, quam ístaec blanda dicta quo evenant madeo metu.

[¶194] TRANIO:
Can you not be tranquil in your mind, and do as I bid you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Potin animó ut sis quieto et facias quod iubeo?

[¶195] PHILOLACHES:
I can be.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Potest.

[¶196] TRANIO:
In the first place of all, Philematium, do you go in-doors; and you, Delphium.

> Latin: Tranio:
Omnium primum, Philematium, intro abi, et tu, Delphium.

[¶197] DELPHIUM:
We’ll both be obedient to you.
(They go into the house.)

> Latin: Delphivm:
Morigerae tibi erimus ambae.—

[¶198] TRANIO:
May Jupiter grant it so! Now then, do you give attention as to what I’d have attended to.
In the first place, then, before anything, cause the house to be shut up at once. Take care and don’t let any one whisper a word indoors.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ita ille faxit Iuppiter.
animum advorte nunciam tu quae volo accurarier.
omnium primumdum aédes iam face occlusae sient;
intus cave muttire quemquam siveris.

## 2. Lines 348–857

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/2/#p-N

[¶0] PHILOLACHES:
Care shall be taken.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Curabitur.

[¶1] TRANIO:
Just as though no living being were dwelling within the house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Tamquam si intus natus nemo in aedibus habitet.

[¶2] PHILOLACHES:
Very well.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Licet.

[¶3] TRANIO:
And let no one answer, when the old gentleman knocks at the door.

> Latin: Tranio:
Neu quisquam responset, quando hasce aedis pultabit senex.

[¶4] PHILOLACHES:
Anything else?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Numquid aliud?

[¶5] TRANIO:
Order the master-key of the house
to be brought me at once from within; this house I’ll lock here on the outside.

> Latin: Tranio:
Clavem mi harunc aedium Laconicam
iam iube efferri intus: hasce ego aedis occludam hinc foris.

[¶6] PHILOLACHES:
To your charge I commit myself, Tranio, and my hopes. (He goes into the house, and the things are removed from the stage.)

> Latin: Philolaches:
In tuam cústodelam meque et meas spes trado, Tranio.—

[¶7] TRANIO: (to himself.)
It matters not a feather whether a patron or a dependant is the nearest at hand for that man who has got no courage in his breast.
For to every man, whether very good or very bad, even at a moment’s notice, it is easy to act with craft; but this must be looked to, this is the duty of a prudent man, that what has been planned and done in craftiness, may all come about smoothly and without mishap;
so that he may not have to put up with anything by reason of which he might be loth to live; just as I shall manage, that, from the confusion which we shall here create, all shall really go on smoothly and tranquilly, and not produce us any inconvenience in the results. (Enter a BOY, from the house.) But, why have you come out?
I’m undone!
(The BOY shows him the key.) O very well, you’ve obeyed my orders most opportunely.
A BOY:
He bade me most earnestly to entreat you some way or other to scare away his father, that he may not enter the house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Pluma haud interest, patronus an cliens probior siet.
Homini, cui nulla in pectore est audacia,
[nam cuivis homini, vel optumo vel pessumo]
quamvis desubito facile est facere nequiter:
verum id videndum est, id viri docti est opus,
quae designata sint et facta nequiter,
tranquille cuncta et ut proveniant sine malo,
ne quid potiatur, quam ob rem pigeat vivere.
sicut ego efficiam, quae facta hic turbavimus,
profecto ut liqueant omnia et tranquilla sint
neque quicquam nobis pariant ex se incommodi.
sed quid tu egredere, Sphaerio?
Pver:
Iamiam …

[¶8] TRANIO:
Even more, tell him this, that I’ll cause that he shan’t venture even to look at the house, and to take to flight, covering up his head with the greatest alarm.
Give me the key (taking it), and be off in-doors, and shut to the door, and I’ll lock it on this side. (The BOY goes into the house, and TRANIO locks the door.) Bid him now come forthwith. For the old gentleman here while still alive this day will I institute games in his presence, such as I fancy there will never be for him when he’s dead. (Moving away.) I’ll go away from the door to this spot; hence, I’ll look out afar
in which direction to lay the burden on the old fellow on his arrival. (Exit to a little distance.)

> Latin: Tranio:
… Optime.
praeceptis paruisti.
Pver:
Iussit maximo
opere orare, ut patrem aliquo absterreres modo,
ne intro iret ad se.
Tranio:
Quin etiam illi hoc dicito,
facturum ⟨me⟩, ut ne etiam aspicere aedis audeat,
capite obvoluto ut fugiat cum summo metu.
clavem cedo atque abi intro atque occlude ostium,
et ego hinc occludam.—iube venire nunciam.
ludos ego hodie vivo praesenti hic seni
faciam, quod credo mortuo numquam fore.
concedam a foribus huc, hinc speculabor procul,
unde advenienti sarcinam imponam seni.

[¶9] (Enter THEUROPIDES, followed by ATTENDANTS.)
THEUROPIDES: (to himself.)
Neptune, I do return extreme thanks to thee that thou hast just dismissed me from thee, though scarce alive. But if, from this time forward, thou shalt only know that I have stirred a foot upon the main, there is no reason why, that instant,
thou shouldst not do with me that which thou hast now wished to do. Away with you, away with you from me henceforth for ever after to-day; what I was to entrust to thee, all of it have I now entrusted. (overhearing him.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Habeo, Neptune, gratiam magnam tibi,
quom med amisisti abs te vix vivom domum.
verum si posthac me pedem latum modo
scies ímposisse in undam, hau causast, ilico
quod nunc voluisti facere quin facias mihi.
apage, apage te a me nunciam post hunc diem:
quod crediturus tibi fui, omne credidi.

[¶10] TRANIO: (apart.)
By my troth, Neptune, you’ve been much to blame, to have lost this opportunity so fair.

> Latin: Tranio:
Edepol, Neptune, peccavisti largiter,
qui occasionem hanc amisisti tam bonam.

[¶11] THEUROPIDES:
After three years, I’ve arrived home from Aegypt. I shall come a welcome guest to my household, I suppose.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Triennio post Aegypto advenio domum;
credo exspectatus veniam familiaribus.

[¶12] TRANIO: (apart.)
Upon my faith, he might have come a much more welcome one, who had brought the tidings you were dead.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nimio edepol ille potuit exspectatior
venire, qui te nuntiaret mortuom.

[¶13] THEUROPIDES: (looking at the door.)
But what means this? Is the door shut in the daytime?
I’ll knock. (Knocks at the door.) Hallo, there! is any one going to open this door for me?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Sed quid hoc? occlusa ianua est interdius.
pultabo. heus, ecquis intust? aperitin fores?

[¶14] TRANIO: (coming forward, and speakcing aloud.)
What person is it that has come so near to our house?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quis homo est, qui nostras aedes accessit prope?

[¶15] THEUROPIDES:
Surely this is my servant Tranio.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Meus sérvos hic quidem est Tranio.

[¶16] TRANIO:
O Theuropides, my master, welcome; I’m glad that you’ve arrived in safety. Haveyou been well all along?

> Latin: Tranio:
O Theopropides,
ere, salve, salvom te advenisse gaudeo.
usquin valuisti?

[¶17] THEUROPIDES:
All along, as you see.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Vsque ut vides.

[¶18] TRANIO:
That’s very good.

> Latin: Tranio:
Factum optime.

[¶19] THEUROPIDES:
What about yourselves? Are you all mad?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid vos? insanin estis?

[¶20] TRANIO:
Why so?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quidum?

[¶21] THEUROPIDES:
For this reason; because you are walking about outside; not a born person is keeping watch in the house, either to open or to give an answer. With kicking with my feet I’ve almost broken in the pannels?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Sic, quia
foris ámbulatis, natus nemo in aedibus
servat, neque qui recludat neque † quis respondeat.
pultando [pedibus] paene confregi hasce ambas ⟨foris⟩.

[¶22] TRANIO:
How now? Have you been touching this house?

> Latin: Tranio:
Eho an tú tetigisti has aedis?

[¶23] THEUROPIDES:
Why shouldn’t I touch it? Why, with kicking it, I tell you, I’ve almost broken down the door.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Cur non tangerem?
quin pultando, inquam, paene confregi foris.

[¶24] TRANIO:
What, you touched it?

> Latin: Tranio:
Tetigistin?

[¶25] THEUROPIDES:
I touched it, I tell you, and knocked at it.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Tetigi, inquam, et pultavi.

[¶26] TRANIO:
Out upon you!

> Latin: Tranio:
Vah.

[¶27] THEUROPIDES:
Why so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid est?

[¶28] TRANIO:
By heavens!’twas ill done.

> Latin: Tranio:
Male hercle factum.

[¶29] THEUROPIDES:
What is the matter?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid est negoti?

[¶30] TRANIO:
It cannot be expressed, how shocking and dreadful a mischief you’ve been guilty of.

> Latin: Tranio:
Non potest
dici, quam indignum facinus fecisti et malum.

[¶31] THEUROPIDES:
How so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid iam?

[¶32] TRANIO:
Take to flight, I beseech you, and get away from the house. Fly in this direction, fly closer to me. (He runs to wards TRANIO.) What, did you touch the door?

> Latin: Tranio:
Fuge, obsecro, atque abscede ab aedibus.
fuge huc, fuge ad me propius. tetigistin foris?

[¶33] THEUROPIDES:
How could I knock, if I didn’t touch it?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quo modo pultare potui, si non tangerem?

[¶34] TRANIO:
By all that’s holy, you’ve been the death—

> Latin: Tranio:
Occidisti hercle—

[¶35] THEUROPIDES:
Of what person?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quem mortalem?

[¶36] TRANIO:
Of all your family.

> Latin: Tranio:
Omnis tuos.

[¶37] THEUROPIDES:
May the Gods and Goddesses confound you with that omen.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Di te deaeque ómnes faxint cum istoc omine—

[¶38] TRANIO:
I’m afraid that you can’t make satisfaction for yourself and them.

> Latin: Tranio:
Metuo, te atque istos expiare ut possies.

[¶39] THEUROPIDES:
For what reason, or what new affair is this that you thus suddenly bring me news of?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quam ob rem? aut quam subito rem mihi adportas novam?
…

[¶40] TRANIO:
And (whispering) hark you, prithee, do bid those people to move away from here.
(Pointing to the ATTENDANTS of THEUROPIDES.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Et heus, iube illos illinc ambo abscedere.

[¶41] THEUROPIDES: (to the ATTENDANTS.)
Move away from here.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Apscedite.

[¶42] TRANIO:
Don’t you touch the house. Touch you the ground as well. (Exeunt the ATTENDANTS.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Aedes ne attigatis. tangite
vos quoque terram.

[¶43] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, prithee, do speak out now.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Obsecro hercle, quin eloquere …
…

[¶44] TRANIO:
Because it is now seven months that not a person has set foot within this house, and since we once for all left it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quia septem menses sunt, quom in hasce aedis pedem
nemo intro tetulit, semel ut emigravimus.

[¶45] THEUROPIDES:
Tell me, why so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Eloquere, quid ita?

[¶46] TRANIO:
Just look around, whether there’s any person to overhear our discourse.

> Latin: Tranio:
Circumspicedum, numquis est,
sermonem nostrum qui aucupet?

[¶47] THEUROPIDES: (looking around.)
All’s quite safe.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Tutum probest.

[¶48] TRANIO:
Look around once more.

> Latin: Tranio:
Circumspice etiam.

[¶49] THEUROPIDES: (looking around.)
There’s nobody; now then, speak out.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nemo est. loquere nunciam.

[¶50] TRANIO: (in a loud whisper.)
The house has been guilty of a capital offence.

> Latin: Tranio:
Capitale scelus est.

[¶51] THEUROPIDES:
I don’t understand you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid est? non ⟨satis⟩ intellego.

[¶52] TRANIO:
A crime, I tell you, has been committed there, a long while ago, one of olden time and ancient date.

> Latin: Tranio:
Scelus, inquam, factum est iam diu, antiquom et vetus.

[¶53] THEUROPIDES:
Of ancient date?
TRANIO:’Tis but recently, in fact, that we’ve discovered this deed.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Antiquom?
Tranio:
Id adeo nos nunc factum invenimus.

[¶54] THEUROPIDES:
What is this crime, or who committed it? Tell me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid istúc est sceleris? aut quis id fecit? cedo.

[¶55] TRANIO:
A host slew his guest, seized with his hand;
he, I fancy, who sold you the house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Hospes necavit hospitem captum manu;
iste, ut ego opinor, qui has tibi aedis vendidit.

[¶56] THEUROPIDES:
Slew him?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Necavit?

[¶57] TRANIO:
And robbed this guest of his gold, and buried this guest there in the house, on the spot.

> Latin: Tranio:
Aurumque ei ademit hospiti
eumque híc defodit hospitem íbidem in aedibus.

[¶58] THEUROPIDES:
For what reason do you suspect that this took place?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quapropter id vos factum suspicamini?

[¶59] TRANIO:
I’ll tell you; listen. One day, when your son had dined away from home, after he returned home from dining;
we all went to bed, and fell asleep. By accident, I had forgotten to put out my lamp; and he, all of a sudden, called out aloud—

> Latin: Tranio:
Ego dicam, ausculta. út foris cenaverat
tuos gnátus, postquam rediit a cena domum,
abimus omnes cubitum; condormivimus:
lucernam forte oblitus fueram exstinguere;
atque ille exclamat derepente maximum.

[¶60] THEUROPIDES:
What person? My son?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quis homo? án gnatus meus?

[¶61] TRANIO:
Hist! hold your peace: just listen.
He said that a dead man came to him in his sleep—

> Latin: Tranio:
St, tace, ausculta modo.
ait vénisse illum in somnis ad se mortuom.

[¶62] THEUROPIDES:
In his dreams, then, you mean?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nempe ergo in somnis?

[¶63] TRANIO:
Just so. But only listen. He said that he had met with his death by these means—

> Latin: Tranio:
Ita. sed ausculta modo.
ait illum hoc pacto sibi dixisse mortuom.

[¶64] THEUROPIDES:
What, in his sleep?

> Latin: Theopropides:
In somnis?

[¶65] TRANIO:
It would have been surprising if he had told him awake, who had been murdered sixty years ago.
On some occasions you are absurdly simple.
But look, what he said: “I am the guest of Diapontius, from beyond the seas; here do I dwell; this has been assigned me as my abode; for Orcus would not receive me in Acheron,”
“because prematurely I lost my life. Through confiding was I deceived: my entertainer slew me here, and that villain secretly laid me in the ground without funereal rites, in this house, on the spot, for the sake of gold. Now do you depart from here; this house is accursed, this dwelling is defiled.”
The wonders that here take place, hardly in a year could I recount them.
Hush, hush!
(He starts.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Mirum quin vigilanti diceret,
qui abhinc sexaginta annos occisus foret.
interdum inepte stultus es, ⟨Theopropides⟩.

[¶66] THEUROPIDES:
Troth now, what has happened, prithee?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Taceo.

[¶67] TRANIO:
The door made a noise.
Was it he that was knocking?

> Latin: Tranio:
Sed ecce quae illi in …
“ego transmarinus hospes sum Diapontius.
hic habito, haéc mihi dedita est habitatio.
nam me Acheruntem recipere Orcus noluit,
quia praemature vita careo. per fidem
deceptus sum: hospes [hic] me necavit isque me
defodit insepultum clám [ibidem] in hisce aedibus,
scelestus, auri causa. nunc tu hinc emigra.
scelestae haé sunt aedes, impia est habitatio”.
quae hic monstra fiunt, anno vix possum eloqui.

[¶68] THEUROPIDES: (turning pale.)
I have not one drop of blood! Dead men are come to fetch me to Acheron, while alive!

> Latin: Theopropides:
St, st.

[¶69] TRANIO: (aside.)
I’m undone! those people there will mar my plot. (A noise is heard from within.) How much I dread, lest he should catch me in the fact.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid, obsecro hercle, factum est?

[¶70] THEUROPIDES:
What are you talking about to yourself? (Goes near the door.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Concrepuit foris.

[¶71] TRANIO:
Do get away from the door. By heavens, fly, I do beseech you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Hicin percussit!

[¶72] THEUROPIDES:
Fly where? Fly yourself, as well.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Guttam haud habeo sanguinis,
vivom me accersunt Acheruntem mortui.

[¶73] TRANIO:
I am not afraid: I am at peace with the dead.
A VOICE: (from within.)
Hallo! Tranio.

> Latin: Tranio:
Perii, illisce hodie hanc conturbabunt fabulam.
nimis quám formido, ne manifesto hic me opprimat.
Theopropides:
Quid tute tecum loquere?

[¶74] TRANIO: (in a low voice, near the door.)
You won’t be calling me, if you are wise. (Aloud, as if speaking to the APPARITION.) ’Tis not I that’s guilty; I did not knock at the door.

> Latin: Tranio:
Abscede ab ianua.
fuge, obsecro hercle.

[¶75] THEUROPIDES:
Pray, what is it that’s wrong? What matter is agitating you, Tranio? To whom are you saying these things?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quo fugiam? etiam tu fuge.

[¶76] TRANIO:
Prithee, was it you that called me?
So may the Gods bless me, I fancied it was this dead man expostulating because you had knocked at the door. But are you still standing there, and not doing what I advise you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Nihil ego formido, pax mihi est cum mortuis.
Intvs:
Heus, Tranio.
Tranio:
Non me appellabis, si sapis.
nihil ego commerui, neque istas percussi fores.
Intvs:
Quaeso—
Tranio:
⟨Cave verbum faxis.⟩

[¶77] THEUROPIDES:
What am I to do?

> Latin: Theopropides:
⟨Dic⟩ quid segreges
⟨sermonem.⟩

[¶78] TRANIO:
Take care not to look back. Fly; cover up your head!

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Apage hinc te.⟩

[¶79] THEUROPIDES:
Why don’t you fly?

> Latin: Theopropides:
⟨Quae r⟩es te agitat, Tranio?
quicum istaec loquere?

[¶80] TRANIO:
I am at peace with the dead.

> Latin: Tranio:
An quaeso tu appellaveras?
ita me di amabunt, mortuom illum credidi
expostulare quia percussisses fores.
sed tu, etiamne astas nec quae dico optemperas?

[¶81] THEUROPIDES:
I recollect. Why then were you so dreadfully alarmed just now?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid faciam?

[¶82] TRANIO:
Have no care for me, I tell you; I’ll see to myself. You, as you have begun to do, fly as quick as ever you can; Hercules, too, you will invoke.

> Latin: Tranio:
Cave respexis, fuge, [atque] operi caput.

[¶83] THEUROPIDES:
Hercules, I do invoke thee! (Runs off.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Cur non fugis tu?

[¶84] TRANIO: (to himself.)
And I, as well, old fellow, that; this day he’ll send some heavy mishap upon you.
O ye immortal Gods, I do implore your aid. Plague on it! what a mess I have got into to-day.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Pax mihi est cum mortuis.
Theopropides:
Scio. quíd modo igitur? cur tanto opere extimueras?
Tranio:
Nil me curassis, inquam, ego mihi providero:
tu, ut occepisti, tantum quantum quis fuge,
atque Herculem invoca.
Theopropides:
Hercules, ted invoco.—
Tranio:
Et ego—tibi hodie ut det, senex, magnum malum.
pro di immortales, obsecro vestram fidem,
quid ego hodie negoti confeci mali.

[¶85] (Enter a BANKER, at the end of the stage.)
A BANKER: (to himself.)
I never knew any year worse for money upon interest, than this year has turned out to me. From morning even until night, I spend my time in the Forum;
I cannot lend out a coin of silver to any one. (Enter TRANIO.)
TRANIO: (apart.)
Now, faith, I am clearly undone in an everlasting way! The Banker’s here who found the money with which his mistress was bought. The matter’s all out, unless I meet him a bit beforehand,
so that the old man may not at present come to know of this. I’ll go meet him. But (seeing THEUROPIDES) I wonder why he has so soon betaken himself homeward again. I’m afraid that he has heard something about this affair. I’ll meet him, and accost him. But how dreadfully frightened I am! Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man with a guilty conscience,
such as possesses myself. But however this matter turns out, I’ll proceed to perplex it still further: so does this affair require.
(Enter THEUROPIDES.)

> Latin: Danista:
Scelestiorem ego annum argento faenori
numquam ullum vidi quam hic mihi annus optigit.
a mani ad noctem usque in foro dego diem,
locare argenti nemini nummum queo.
Tranio:
Nunc pol ego perii plane in perpetuom modum.
danista adest, qui dedit ⟨argentum faenore⟩,
qui amica est empta quoque ⟨opus in sumptus fuit⟩.
manifesta res est, nisi quid occurro prius,
ne hóc senex resciscat. ibo huic obviam.
sed quidnam hic sese tam cito recipit domum?
metuo ne de hac re quippiam indaudiverit.
accedam atque adpellabo. ei quam timeo miser.
nihil est miserius quam animus hominis conscius,
sicut me † habet. verum utut res sese habet,
pergam turbare porro: ita haec res postulat.
unde is?
Theopropides:
Conveni illum unde hasce aedis emeram.

[¶86] TRANIO: (accosting him.)
Whence come you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Numquid dixisti de illo quod dixi tibi?

[¶87] THEUROPIDES:
I met that person from whom I bought this house.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dixi hercle vero ómnia.

[¶88] TRANIO:
Did you tell him anything about that which I was telling you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Ei misero mihi,
metuo ne techinae meae perpetuo perierint.

[¶89] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, I certainly told him everything.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid tute tecum?

[¶90] TRANIO: (aside.)
Woe to unfortunate me!
I’m afraid that my schemes are everlastingly undone!

> Latin: Tranio:
Nihil enim. sed dic mihi,
dixtine quaeso?

[¶91] THEUROPIDES:
What is it you are saying to yourself?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dixi, inquam, ordine omnia.

[¶92] TRANIO:
Why nothing. But tell me, prithee, did you really tell him?

> Latin: Tranio:
Etiam fatetur de hospite?

[¶93] THEUROPIDES:
I told him everything in its order, I tell you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Immo pernegat.

[¶94] TRANIO:
Does he, then, confess about the guest?

> Latin: Tranio:
Negat ⟨scelestus?⟩

[¶95] THEUROPIDES:
Why no; he utterly denies it.

> Latin: Theopropides:
⟨Negitat in⟩quam.

[¶96] TRANIO:
Does he deny it?

> Latin: Tranio:
Cogita:
⟨non confitetur?⟩

[¶97] THEUROPIDES:
Do you ask me again?
I should tell you if he had confessed it. What now are you of opinion ought to be done?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dicam si confessus sit.
quid nunc faciundum censes?

[¶98] TRANIO:
What is my opinion? By my troth, I beg of you, appoint an arbitrator together with him; but take you care that you appoint one who will believe me; you’ll overcome him as easily as a fox eats a pear.
A BANKER: (to himself.)
But see, here’s Tranio, the servant of Philolaches, people who pay me neither interest nor principal on my money.
(Goes towards TRANIO, who steps forward to meet him.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Egon quid censeam?
cape, obsecro hercle, cúm eo úna iudicem
(sed eum videto ut capias, qui credat mihi):
tam facile vinces quam pirum volpes comest.
Danista:
Sed Philolachetis servom éccum Tranium,
qui mihi neque faenus neque sortem argenti danunt.

[¶99] THEUROPIDES: (to TRANIO.)
Whither are you betaking yourself?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quo té agis?

[¶100] TRANIO:
I’m going no whither. (Aside.) For sure, I am a wretch, a rascal, one born with all the Gods my foes! He’ll now be accosting me in the old man’s presence. Assuredly, I am a wretched man;
in such a fashion both this way and that do they find business for me. But I’ll make haste and accost him. (Moves towards the BANKER.)
A BANKER: (apart.)
He’s coming towards me. I’m all right I’ve some hopes of my money;
he’s smiling.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nec quoquam abeo. né ego sum miser,
scelestus, natus dis inimicis omnibus.
iam illo praesente adibit. ne ego homo sum miser,
ita et hinc et illinc mi exhibent negotium.
sed occupabo adire.
Danista:
Hic ad me it, salvos sum,
spes est de argento.

[¶101] TRANIO: (to himself.)
The fellow’s deceived. (To the BANKER.) I heartily bid you hail, my friend Saturides.
A BANKER:
And hail to you. What about the money?

> Latin: Tranio:
Hílarus est: frustra est homo.
salvere iubeo te, Misargyrides, bene.
Danista:
Salve et tu. quid de argentost?

[¶102] TRANIO:
Be off with you, will you, you brute.
Directly you come, you commence the attack against me.
A BANKER: (apart.)
This fellow’s empty-handed.

> Latin: Tranio:
Abi sis, belua.
continuo adveniens pilum iniecisti mihi.
Danista:
Hic homo est inanis.

[¶103] TRANIO: (overhearing him.)
This fellow’s surely a conjurer.
A BANKER:
But why don’t you put an end to this trifling?

> Latin: Tranio:
Hic homo est certe háriolus.
Danista:
Quin tu istas mittis tricas?

[¶104] TRANIO:
Tell me, then, what it is you want.
A BANKER:
Where is Philolaches?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quin quid vis cedo.
Danista:
Vbi Philolaches est?

[¶105] TRANIO:
You never could have met me more opportunely than you have met me.
A BANKER:
How’s that?

> Latin: Tranio:
Numquam potuisti mihi
magis opportunus adven⟨ire quam⟩ advenis.
Danista:
Quid est?

[¶106] TRANIO: (taking him aside.)
Step this way.
A BANKER: (aloud.)
Why isn’t the money repaid me?

> Latin: Tranio:
Concede huc.
Danista:
⟨Quin mihi faenus red⟩ditur?

[¶107] TRANIO:
I know that you have a good voice; don’t bawl out so loud.
A BANKER: (aloud.)
I’ faith, I certainly shall bawl out.

> Latin: Tranio:
Scio té bona esse voce, ne clama nimis.
Danista:
Ego hercle vero clamo.

[¶108] TRANIO:
O do humour me now.
A BANKER:
What do you want me to humour you in?

> Latin: Tranio:
Ah, gere morem mihi.
Danista:
Quid tibi ego morem vis geram?

[¶109] TRANIO:
Prithee, be off hence home.
A BANKER:
Be off?

> Latin: Tranio:
Abi quaeso hinc domum.
Danista:
Abeam?

[¶110] TRANIO:
Return here about mid-day.
A BANKER:
Will the interest be paid then?

> Latin: Tranio:
Redito huc circiter meridie.
Danista:
Reddeturne igitur faenus?

[¶111] TRANIO:
It will be paid. Be off.
A BANKER:
Why should I run to and fro here, or use or waste my pains? What if I remain here until mid-day in preference?

> Latin: Tranio:
Reddeturne. abi.
Danista:
Quid ego huc recursem aut operam sumam aut conteram?
quid si hic manebo potius ad meridie?

[¶112] TRANIO:
Why no; be off home. On my word, I’m telling the truth. Only do be off.
A BANKER: (aloud.)
Then do you pay me my interest. Why do you trifle with me this way?

> Latin: Tranio:
Immo abi domum, verum hercle dico, abi modo.
…
Danista:
Quin vos mihi faenus date. quid hic nugamini?

[¶113] TRANIO:
Bravo! faith. Really now, do be off; do attend to me.
A BANKER: (aloud.)
I’ faith, I’ll call him now by name.

> Latin: Tranio:
Eu hércle, ne tu—abi modo, ausculta mihi.
Danista:
Iam hercle ego illum nominabo. …

[¶114] TRANIO:
Bravo! stoutly done! Really you are quite rich now when you bawl out.
A BANKER: (aloud.)
I’m asking for my own. In this way you’ve been disappointing me for these many days past.
If I’m troublesome, give me back the money; I’ll go away then. That expression puts an end to all replies.

> Latin: Tranio:
Euge strenue.
beatus vero es nunc, quom clamas.
Danista:
Meum peto.
multos me hoc pacto iam dies frustramini.
molestus si sum, reddite argentum: abiero.
responsiones omnes hoc verbo eripis.

[¶115] TRANIO: (pretending to offer it him.)
Then, take the principal.
A BANKER: (aloud.)
Why no, the interest; I want that first.

> Latin: Tranio:
Sortem accipe.
Danista:
Immo faenus, id primum volo.

[¶116] TRANIO:
What? Have you, you fellow most foul of all fellows, come here to burst yourself? Do what lies in your power.
He’s not going to pay you; he doesn’t owe it.
A BANKER:
Not owe it?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid ais tu, ómnium hominum taeterrime?
venisti huc te extentatum? agas quod in manu est.
non dat, non debet.
Danista:
Non debet?

[¶117] TRANIO:
Not a tittle, indeed, can you get from here. Would you prefer for him to go abroad, and leave the city in exile, driven hence for your sake? Why then, in preference let him pay the principal.
A BANKER:
But I don’t ask for it.
THEUROPIDES: (calling out to TRANIO, from a distance.)
Hark you! you whip-knave, come back to me.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ne frit quidem
ferre hinc potes. an metuis ne quo abeat foras
urbe exulatum faenoris causa tui,
quoi sortem accipere iam licet?
Danista:
Quin non peto
sortem: illuc primum, faenus, reddundum est mihi.

[¶118] TRANIO: (to THEUROPIDES.)
I’ll be there just now. (To the BANKER.) Don’t you be troublesome: no one’s going to pay you; do what you please. You are the only person, I suppose, that lends money upon interest.
(Moves towards THEUROPIDES.)
A BANKER: (bawling aloud.)
Give me my interest! pay me my interest! you pay my interest! Are you going to give me my interest this instant?
Give me my interest!

> Latin: Tranio:
Molestus ne sis. nemo dat, age quid lubet.
tu solus, credo, faenore argentum datas.
Danista:
Cedo faenus, redde faenus, faenus reddite.
daturin estis faenus actutum mihi?
datur faenus mihi?

[¶119] TRANIO:
Interest here, interest there! The old rogue knows how to talk about nothing but interest. I do not think that ever I saw any beast more vile than you.
A BANKER:
Upon my faith, you don’t alarm me now with those expressions.
This is of a hot nature; although it is at a distance off, it scorches badly.

> Latin: Tranio:
Faenus illic, faenus hic.
nescit quidem nisi faenus fabularier.
ultro te. neque ego taetriorem beluam
vidisse me umquam quemquam quam te censeo.
Danista:
Non edepol tu nunc me istis verbis territas.
Theopropides:
… calidum hoc est: etsi procul abest, urit male. …
quod illúc est faenus, opsecro, quod illíc petit?

[¶120] TRANIO:
Don’t you be troublesome; no one’s going to pay you; do what you please. You are the only person, I suppose, that lends money upon interest.

> Latin: Tranio:
Pater eccum advenit peregre non multo prius
illius, is tibi et faénus et sortem dabit,
ne inconciliare quid nos porro postules.
vide num moratur.
Danista:
Quin feram, si quid datur.

[¶121] THEUROPIDES: (to TRANIO.)
Pray, what interest is this that he is asking for?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid ais tu?

[¶122] TRANIO: (in a low voice, to the BANKER.)
Look now; his father has arrived from abroad, not long since; he’ll pay you both interest and principal; don’t you then attempt any further to make us your enemies. See whether he puts you off.
A BANKER:
Nay but, I’ll take it, if anything’s offered.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid vis?

[¶123] THEUROPIDES: (to TRANIO, coming towards him.)
What do you say, then—?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quis illic est? quid illíc petit?
quid Philolachetem gnatum compellat ⟨meum⟩
sic et praesenti tibi facit convicium?
quid illí debetur?

[¶124] TRANIO:
What is it you mean?

> Latin: Tranio:
Obsecro hercle, ⟨illud⟩ iube
obi⟨ci illi⟩ argentum ob os impurae beluae.

[¶125] THEUROPIDES:
Who is this? What is he asking for? Why is he thus rudely speaking of my son Philolaches in this way, and giving you abuse to your face? What’s owing him?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Iubeam—?

[¶126] TRANIO: (to THEUROPIDES.)
I beg of you, do order the money to be thrown in the face of this dirty brute.

> Latin: Tranio:
Iuben homini argento os verberarier?
Danista:
Perfacile ego ictus perpetior argenteos.
Tranio:
Audin? videturne, obsecro hercle, idoneus,
danista qui sit, genus quod improbissimum est.

[¶127] THEUROPIDES:
I, order it?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Non ego istuc curo qui sit ⟨quid sit⟩ unde sit:
id volo mihi dici, id me scire éxpeto,
quod illud argentum est?

[¶128] TRANIO:
Order the fellow’s face to be pelted with money.
A BANKER: (coming nearer.)
I could very well put up with a pelting with money.

> Latin: Tranio:
Est—huic debet Philolaches
paulum.

[¶129] THEUROPIDES: (to TRANIO.)
What money’s this?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quantillum?

[¶130] TRANIO:
Philolaches owes this person a little.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quasi—quadraginta minas;
ne sane id multum censeas.

[¶131] THEUROPIDES:
How much?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Paulum id quidem est.
adeo etiam argenti faenus creditum audio.

[¶132] TRANIO:
About forty minae.
A BANKER: (to THEUROPIDES.)
Really, don’t think much of that;
it’s a trifle, in fact.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quattuor quadraginta illi debentur minae,
et sors et faenus.
Danista:
Tantumst, nihilo plus peto.

[¶133] TRANIO:
Don’t you hear him? Troth now, prithee, doesn’t he seem just suited to be a Banker—a generation that’s most roguish?

> Latin: Tranio:
Velim quidem hercle ut uno nummo plus petas.
dic te daturum, ut abeat.

[¶134] THEUROPIDES:
I don’t care, just now, for that, who he is or whence he is;
this I want to be told me, this I very much wish to know—
I heard from him that there was interest owing on the money as well.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Egon dicam dare?

[¶135] TRANIO:
Forty-four minae are due to him.
Say that you’ll pay it, that he may be off.

> Latin: Tranio:
Dic.

[¶136] THEUROPIDES:
I, say that I’ll pay it?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Egone?

[¶137] TRANIO:
Do say so.

> Latin: Tranio:
Tu ipsus. dic modo, ausculta mihi.
promitte, age inquam: ego iubeo.

[¶138] THEUROPIDES:
What, I?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Responde mihi:
quid eo est argento factum?

[¶139] TRANIO:
You yourself. Do only say so. Do be guided by me. Do promise. Come now, I say; I beg of you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Salvom est.

[¶140] THEUROPIDES:
Answer me; what has been done with this money?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Solvite
vosmet igitur, si salvomst.

[¶141] TRANIO:
It’s safe.

> Latin: Tranio:
Aedis filius
tuos emit.

[¶142] THEUROPIDES:
Pay it yourselves then, if it’s safe,

> Latin: Theopropides:
Aedis?

[¶143] TRANIO:
Your son has bought a house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Aedis.

[¶144] THEUROPIDES:
A house?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Euge, Philolaches
patrissat: iám homo in mercatura vortitur.
ain tu, aedis?

[¶145] TRANIO:
A house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Aedis inquam. sed scin quoius modi?

[¶146] THEUROPIDES:
Bravo! Philolaches is taking after his father! The fellow now turns to merchandize.
A house, say you?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Qui scire possum?

[¶147] TRANIO:
A house, I tell you. But do you know of what sort?

> Latin: Tranio:
Vah.

[¶148] THEUROPIDES:
How can I know?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid est?

[¶149] TRANIO:
Out with you!

> Latin: Tranio:
Ne me roga.

[¶150] THEUROPIDES:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nam quid ita?

[¶151] TRANIO:
Don’t ask me that.

> Latin: Tranio:
Speculo claras, candorem merum.

[¶152] THEUROPIDES:
But why so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Bene hercle factum. quid, eas quanti destinat?

[¶153] TRANIO:
Bright as a mirror, pure brilliancy itself.

> Latin: Tranio:
Talentis magnis totidem quot ego et tu sumus.
sed arraboni has dedit quadraginta minas;
hinc sumpsit quas ei dedimus. satin intellegis?
nam postquam haec aedes ita erant, ut dixi tibi,
continuo est alias aedis mercatus sibi.

[¶154] THEUROPIDES:
Excellently done, upon my faith! Well, how much did he agree to give for it?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Bene hercle factum.
Danista:
Heus, iam adpetit meridie.

[¶155] TRANIO:
As many great talents as you and I put together make;
but these forty minae he paid by way of earnest. (Pointing to the BANKER.) From him he received what we paid the other man. Do you quite understand? For after this house was in such a state as I mentioned to you, he at once purchased another house for himself.

> Latin: Tranio:
Absolve hunc quaeso, vomitu ne hic nos enecet.

[¶156] THEUROPIDES:
Excellently done, upon my faith!
A BANKER: (touching TRANIO.)
Hark you. Mid-day is now close at hand.
TRANIO:
Prithee, do dismiss this puking fellow, that he mayn’t worry us to death.
Forty-four minae are due to him, both principal and interest.
A BANKER:’Tis just that much; I ask for nothing more.
TRANIO:
Upon my faith, I really could have wished that you had asked more, if only by a single coin.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Adulescens, mecum rém habe.
Danista:
Nempe aps te petam?

[¶157] THEUROPIDES: (to the BANKER.)
Young man, transact the business with me.
A BANKER:
I’m to ask it of you, you mean?
THEUROPIDES:
Come for it to-morrow.
A BANKER:
I’ll be off, then; I’m quite satisfied if I get it tomorrow.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Petito cras.
Danista:
Abeo: sat habeo, si cras fero.—

[¶158] TRANIO: (aside.)
A plague may all the Gods and Goddesses send upon him! so utterly has he disarranged my plans. On my word, no class of men is there more disgusting, or less acquainted with fair dealing than the banking race.

> Latin: Tranio:
Malum quod isti di deaeque omnes duint,
ita mea consilia perturbat paenissime.
nullum edepol hodie genus est hominum taetrius
nec minus bono cum iure, quam danisticum.

[¶159] THEUROPIDES:
In what neighbourhood did my son buy this house?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Qua in regione istas aedis emit filius?

[¶160] TRANIO: (aside.)
Just see that, now! I’m undone!

> Latin: Tranio:
Ecce autem perii.

[¶161] THEUROPIDES:
Are you going to tell me that which I ask you?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dicisne hoc quod te rogo?

[¶162] TRANIO:
I’ll tell you; but I’m thinking what was the name of the owner.
(Pretends to think.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Dicam. sed nomen domini quaero quid siet.

[¶163] THEUROPIDES:
Well, call it to mind, then.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Age comminiscere ergo.

[¶164] TRANIO: (aside.)
What am I to do now, except put the lie upon this neighbour of ours next door? I’ll say that his son has bought that house.
I’ faith, I’ve heard say that a lie piping-hot is the best lie; this is piping-hot; although it is at a distance off, it scorches badly. Whatever the Gods dictate, that am I determined to say.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid ego nunc agam,
nisi ut in vicinum hunc proximum …,
eas émisse aedis huius dicam filium?
calidum hercle esse audivi optimum mendacium.
quidquid dei dicunt, id decretumst dicere.

[¶165] THEUROPIDES:
Well now? Have you recollected it by this?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid igitur? iam commentus escommentu's?

[¶166] TRANIO: (aside.)
May the Gods confound that fellow!—no this other fellow, rather.
(To THEUROPIDES.) Your son has bought the house of this next-door neighbour of yours.

> Latin: Tranio:
Di istum perduint—
(immo istunc potius) de vicino hoc proximo
tuos emit aedis filius.

[¶167] THEUROPIDES:
In real truth?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Bonan fide?

[¶168] TRANIO:
If, indeed, you are going to pay down the money, then in real truth; if you are not going to pay it, in real truth he has not bought it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Siquidém tu argentum redditurus esreddituru's, tum bona,
si redditurus non es, non emit bona.
non in loco emit perbono?

[¶169] THEUROPIDES:
He hasn’t bought it in a very good situation.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Immo in optumo.
cupio hercle inspicere hasce aedis. pultadum fores
atque evoca aliquem íntus ad te, Tranio.

[¶170] TRANIO:
Why yes, in a very good one.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ecce autem perii. nunc quid dicam nescio.
iterum iam ad unum saxum me fluctus ferunt.
quid nunc? non hercle quid nunc faciam reperio:
manufesto teneor.

[¶171] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, I should like to look over this house; just knock at the door, and call some one to you from within, Tranio.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Evocadum aliquem ocius,
roga círcumducat.

[¶172] TRANIO: (aside.)
Why just look now, again I don’t know what I’m to say. Once more, now, are the surges bearing me upon the self-same rock. What now? I’ faith, I can’t discover what I am now to do; I’m caught in the fact.

> Latin: Tranio:
Heus tu, at hic sunt mulieres:
videndumst primum, utrum eae velintne an non velint.

[¶173] THEUROPIDES:
Just call some one out of doors;
ask him to show us round.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Bonum aequomque oras. i, percontare et roga.
ego hic tantisper, dum exis, te opperiar foris.

[¶174] TRANIO: (going to the door of SIMO’s house.)
Hallo there, you! (Turning round) But there are ladies here; we must first see whether they are willing or unwilling.
THEUROPIDES:
You say what’s good and proper; just make enquiry, and ask. I’ll wait here outside until you come out.
TRANIO: (aside.)
May all the Gods and Goddesses utterly confound you, old gentleman!
in such a fashion are you thwarting my artful plans in every way. Bravo! very good! Look, Simo himself, the owner of the house, is coming out of doors. I’ll step aside here, until I have convened the senate of council in my mind. Then, when I’ve discovered what I am to do, I’ll join him. (THEUROPIDES and TRANIO stand at a distance from SIMO’s house, in opposite directions, THEUROPIDES being out of sight.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Di te deaeque ómnes funditus perdant, senex,
itá mea consilia undique oppugnas male.
euge, optume eccum aédium dominus foras
Simo progreditur intus. huc concessero,
dum mihi senatum consili in cor convoco.
igitur tum accedam hunc, quando quid agam invenero.

[¶175] (Enter SIMO, from his house.)
SIMO: (to himself.)
I’ve not enjoyed myself better at home this year than I have to-day, nor has at any time any meal pleased me better. My wife provided a very nice breakfast for me; now she bids me go take a nap. By no means! It instantly struck me that it didn’t so happen by chance.
She provided a better breakfast than is her wont; and then, the old lady wanted to draw me away to my chamber. Sleep is not good after breakfast—out upon it! I secretly stole away from the house, out of doors. My wife, I’m sure, is now quite bursting with rage at home.

> Latin: Simo:
Mélius anno hóc mihi nón fuit domi,
néc quod una ésca me iúverit magis.
prándium uxór mihi pérbonum dedit,
núnc dormitúm iubet me íre: minime.
nón mihi fórte visum ílico fuit,
mélius quom prándium quám solet dedit:
vóluit in cúbiculum abdúcere me anus.
nón bonust sómnus de prándio. apage.
clánculum ex aédibus me édidi foras.
tóta turgét mihi uxór, scio, domi.

[¶176] TRANIO: (apart.)
A sore mischance is provided for this old fellow by the evening; for he must both dine and go to bed in-doors in sorry fashion.

> Latin: Tranio:
Rés parata ést mala in vésperum huic seni.
nam ét cenandum ét cubandúmst ei male.

[¶177] SIMO: (continuing.)
The more I reflect upon it in my mind: if any person has a dowried wife, sleep has no charms for him.
I detest going to take a nap. It’s a settled matter with me to be off to the Forum from here, rather than nap it at home. And, i’ faith (to the AUDIENCE), I don’t know how your wives are in their behaviour; this wife of mine, I know right well how badly she treats me,
and that she will prove more annoying to me hereafter than she has been.

> Latin: Simo:
Quóm magis cógito cúm meo animo:
sí quis dotátam uxorem átque anum habet,
néminem sóllicitat sópor: ibi omnibus
íre dormítum odio est véluti nunc mihi
éxsequi cérta res ést, ut abeam
pótius hinc ád forum quám domi cubem.
átque pol néscio, ut móribus sient
vóstrae: haec sát scio quám me habeat male.
…
péius posthác fore quám fuit mihi.

[¶178] TRANIO: (apart.)
If your escape, old gentleman, turns out amiss, there’ll be no reason for you to be accusing any one of the Gods; by very good right, you may justly lay the blame upon yourself. It’s time now for me to accost this old fellow.’Tis down upon him. I’ve hit upon a plan whereby to cajole the old fellow, by means of which to drive grief away from me. I’ll accost him. (Accosting him.) May the Gods, Simo, send on you many blessings!
(Takes him by the hand.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Ábitus tuos tíbi, senex, fécerit male:
níhil erit, quód deorum úllum accusites;
te ípse iure óptimo mérito incusés licet.
témpus nunc ést senem hunc ádloqui mihi.
hóc habet. répperi quí senem dúcerem,
quó dolo a mé dolorém procul péllerem.
áccedam. dí te ament plúrimum, Simo.

[¶179] SIMO:
Save you, Tranio!

> Latin: Simo:
Sálvos sis, Tránio.

[¶180] TRANIO:
How fare you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Út vales?

[¶181] SIMO:
Not amiss. What are you about?

> Latin: Simo:
Nón male.
quíd agis?

[¶182] TRANIO:
Holding by the hand a very worthy man.

> Latin: Tranio:
Hominem óptumum téneo.

[¶183] SIMO:
You act in a friendly way,
in speaking well of me.

> Latin: Simo:
Amicé facis,
quóm me laudás.

[¶184] TRANIO:
It certainly is your due.

> Latin: Tranio:
Decet.

[¶185] SIMO:
But, i’ faith, in you I don’t hold a good servant by the hand.

> Latin: Simo:
Cérte. quin m⟨utuomst⟩:
hércle ted haú bonum téneo servóm ⟨manu⟩.

[¶186] THEUROPIDES: (calling from a distance, where he is not perceived by SIMO.)
Hark you! you whip-knave, come back to me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
[Heía, mastígia, ad mé redi.]

[¶187] TRANIO: (turning round.)
I’ll be there just now.

> Latin: Tranio:
[Iam ísti ero.]

[¶188] SIMO:
Well now, how soon—?

> Latin: Simo:
quíd nunc? quam móx?

[¶189] TRANIO:
What is it?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid est?

[¶190] SIMO:
The usual goings-on.

> Latin: Simo:
Quód solet fíeri hic
íntus.

[¶191] TRANIO:
Tell me then, these usual goings-on, what are they?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid id est?

[¶192] SIMO:
The way that you yourselves proceed. But, Tranio, to say the truth, according as men are, it so befits you to humour them;
reflecting, at the same time, how short life is.

> Latin: Simo:
Scis iam quíd loquar. síc decet.
… morem geras.
víta quam sít brevis, … simul cógita.

[¶193] TRANIO:
What of all this? Dear me, at last, after some difficulty, I perceive that you are talking about these goings-on of ours.

> Latin: Tranio:
… quid … ehem,
víx tandem percépi super his rébus nostris té loqui.

[¶194] SIMO:
I’ faith, you people are living a merry life, just as befits you:
on wine, good cheer, nice dainty fish, you enjoy life.

> Latin: Simo:
músice hercle ágitis aetátem, ita ut vós decet,
vino et victu probo, piscatu electili
vitam colitis. †

[¶195] TRANIO:
Why yes, so it was in time past, indeed; but now these things have come to an end all at once.

> Latin: Tranio:
Immo vita antehac erat:
nunc nobis omnia haec exciderunt ⟨simul⟩.

[¶196] SIMO:
How so?

> Latin: Simo:
Quidum?

[¶197] TRANIO:
So utterly, Simo, are we all undone!

> Latin: Tranio:
Ita óppido occidimus omnes, Simo.

[¶198] SIMO:
Won’t you hold your tongue? Everything has gone on prosperously with you hitherto.

> Latin: Simo:
Non taces? prospere vobis cuncta usque adhuc
processerunt.

[¶199] TRANIO:
I don’t deny that it has been as you say; undoubtedly, we have lived heartily, just as we pleased; but, Simo, in such a way has the breeze now forsaken our ship—

> Latin: Tranio:
Ita ut dicis facta hau nego.
nos profecto probe ut voluimus viximus.
séd, Simo, ita nunc ventus navem ⟨nostram⟩ deseruit.

[¶200] SIMO:
What’s the matter? In what way?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid est?
quó modo?

[¶201] TRANIO:
In a most shocking way.

> Latin: Tranio:
Péssimo.

[¶202] SIMO:
What, wasn’t it hauled ashore in safety?

> Latin: Simo:
Quaéne subdúcta erat
túto in terra?

[¶203] TRANIO:
Ah me!

> Latin: Tranio:
Eí.

[¶204] SIMO:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid est?

[¶205] TRANIO:
Ah wretched me! I’m utterly undone!

> Latin: Tranio:
Mé miserum, occidi.

[¶206] SIMO:
How so?

> Latin: Simo:
Quí?

[¶207] TRANIO:
Because a ship has come, to smash the hull of our ship.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quia venit navis, nostrae navi quae frangat † ratem.

[¶208] SIMO:
I would wish as you would wish, Tranio, for your own sake. But what is the matter? Do inform me.

> Latin: Simo:
Vellem út tu velles, Tranio. sed quid est negoti?

[¶209] TRANIO:
I will inform you. My master has arrived from abroad.

> Latin: Tranio:
Eloquar.
erus péregre venit.

[¶210] SIMO:
In that case, the cord will be stretched for you; thence to the place where iron fetters clink; after that, straight to the cross.

> Latin: Simo:
Tunc ⟨tibi⟩ … portenditur,
inde férriterium, postea crux.

[¶211] TRANIO:
Now, by your knees, I do implore you, don’t give information to my master.

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Per tua te g⟩enua obsecro,
ne indícium ero facias meo.

[¶212] SIMO:
Don’t you fear; he shall know nothing from me.

> Latin: Simo:
É me, ne quid metuas, nil sciet.

[¶213] TRANIO:
Blessings on you, my patron.

> Latin: Tranio:
Patrone, salve.

[¶214] SIMO:
I don’t care for clients of this description for myself.

> Latin: Simo:
Nil moror mi istius modi clientis.

[¶215] TRANIO:
Now as to this about which our old gentleman has sent me.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nunc hoc quod ad te noster me misit senex—

[¶216] SIMO:
First answer me this that I ask you. As yet, has your old gentleman discovered anything of these matters?

> Latin: Simo:
Hoc mihi responde primum, quod ego te rogo:
iam de istis rebus voster quid sensit senex?

[¶217] TRANIO:
Nothing whatever.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nil quicquam.

[¶218] SIMO:
Has he censured his son at all?

> Latin: Simo:
Numquid increpavit filium?

[¶219] TRANIO:
He is as calm as the calm weather is wont to be. Now he has requested me most earnestly to beg this of you, that leave may be given him to see over this house of yours.

> Latin: Tranio:
Tam liquidust quam liquida esse tempestas solet …
nunc te hoc orare iussit opere maximo,
ut sibi liceret inspicere hasce aedis tuas.

[¶220] SIMO:
It’s not for sale.

> Latin: Simo:
Non sunt venales.

[¶221] TRANIO:
I know that indeed; but the old gentleman
wishes to build a woman’s apartment here in his own house, baths, too, and a piazza, and a porch.

> Latin: Tranio:
Scio equidem istuc. sed senex
gynaeceum aedificare volt hic in suis
et balineas et ambulacrum et porticum.

[¶222] SIMO:
What has he been dreaming of?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid ergo somniavit?

[¶223] TRANIO:
I’ll tell you. He wishes to give his son a wife as soon as he can; for that purpose he wants a new apartment for the women.
But he says that some builder, I don’t know who, has been praising up to him this house of yours, as being remarkably well built; now he’s desirous to take a model from it, if you don’t make any objection—

> Latin: Tranio:
Ego dicam tibi.
dare volt uxorem filio quantum potest,
ad eam rem facere volt novom gynaeceum.
nam sibi laudavisse hasce ait architectonem
nescio quem exaedificatas insanum bene;
nunc hinc exemplum capere volt, nisi tu nevis.
nam ille eo maiore hinc opere ex te exemplum petit,
quia isti úmbram aestate tíbi esse audivit perbonam
sub sicco lumine usque perpetuom diem.

[¶224] SIMO:
Indeed, he is really choosing a plan for himself from a piece of poor workmanship.

> Latin: Simo:
Immo edepol vero, quom usquequaque umbra est, tamen
sol semper hic est usque a mani ad vesperum:
quasi flagitator astat usque ad ostium,
nec mi umbra hic usquamst, nisi si in puteo quaepiamst.

[¶225] TRANIO:
It was because he heard that here the summer heat was much modified; that this house was wont to be inhabited each day all day long.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid, Sarsinatis ecqua est, si Vmbram non habes?

[¶226] SIMO:
Why really, upon my faith, on the contrary, while there’s shade in every direction, in spite of it, the sun is always here from morning till night: he stands, like a dun, continually at the door; and I have no shade anywhere, unless, perhaps, there may be some in the well.

> Latin: Simo:
Molestus ne sis. haec sunt sicut praedico.

[¶227] TRANIO:
Well now, have you one from Sarsina, if you have no woman of Umbria?

> Latin: Tranio:
At tamen inspicere volt.

[¶228] SIMO:
Don’t be impertinent. It is just as I tell you.

> Latin: Simo:
Inspiciat, si lubet;
si quid erit quod illi placeat, de exemplo meo
ipse aedificato.

[¶229] TRANIO:
Still, he wishes to look over it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Eon, voco huc hominem?

[¶230] SIMO:
He may look over it, if he likes. If there is anything that takes his fancy, let him build after my plan.

> Latin: Simo:
I, voca.

[¶231] TRANIO:
Am I to go and call this person hither?
SIMO:
Go and call him.

> Latin: Tranio:
Alexándrum magnum atque Agathoclem aiunt maximas
duo rés gessisse: quid mihi fiet tertio,
qui solus facio facinora immortalia?
vehit hic clitellas, vehit hic autem alter senex.
novicium mihi quaestum institui non malum:
nam muliones mulos clitellarios
habent, at égo habeo homines clitellarios.
magni sunt oneris: quidquid imponas vehunt.
nunc húnc hau scio án conloquár. congrediar.
heus Théopropides.
Theopropides:
Hém quis hic nóminat me?

[¶232] TRANIO: (to himself, as he goes to the other side of the stage to call THEUROPIDES.)
They say that Alexander the Great and Agathocles achieved two very great exploits; what shall be the lot of myself, a third, who, unaided, am achieving deeds imperishable? This old fellow is carrying his pack-saddle, the other one, as well. I’ve hit upon a novel trade for myself, not a bad one;
whereas muleteers have mules to carry pack-saddles; I’ve got men to carry the pack-saddles. They are able to carry heavy burdens; whatever you put upon them, they carry. Now, I don’t know whether I am to address him. I’ll accost him, however. (Calling aloud.) Hark you, Theuropides!

> Latin: Tranio:
Eró servos múltis modís fidus.

[¶233] THEUROPIDES: (coming forward.)
Well; who’s calling me?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Únde is?

[¶234] TRANIO:
A servant most attached to his master.
Where you sent me, I got it all agreed to.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quod me miseras, adfero omne impetratum.

[¶235] THEUROPIDES:
Prithee, why did you stay there so long?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid illíc, opsecro, tam diu destitisti?

[¶236] TRANIO:
The old gentleman hadn’t leisure; I was waiting until then.

> Latin: Tranio:
Seni non erat otium, id sum opperitus.

[¶237] THEUROPIDES:
You keep up that old way of yours, of being tardy.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Antiquom optines hoc tuom, tardus ut sis.

[¶238] TRANIO:
Hark you! if you please reflect upon this proverb: to blow and swallow at the same moment isn’t easy to be done; I couldn’t be here and there at the same time.

> Latin: Tranio:
Heus tu, si voles verbum hóc cogitare,
simul flare sorbereque haud factu facilest.
ego híc esse et íllic simitu hau pótui.

[¶239] THEUROPIDES:
What now?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid nunc?

[¶240] TRANIO:
Come and look, and inspect it at your own pleasure.

> Latin: Tranio:
Vise, specta tuo usque arbitratu.

[¶241] THEUROPIDES:
Very well, you go before me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Age ⟨i⟩, duce me.

[¶242] TRANIO:
Am I delaying to do so?

> Latin: Tranio:
Num moror?

[¶243] THEUROPIDES:
I’ll follow after you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Supsequor te.

[¶244] TRANIO: (as they advance.)
Look, the old gentleman himself is awaiting you before the door, but he is concerned that he has sold this house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Senex ipsus te ante ostium eccum opperitur.
sed ut maestus est se hasce ⟨aedis⟩ vendidisse.

[¶245] THEUROPIDES:
Why so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid tandem?

[¶246] TRANIO:
He begs me to persuade Philolaches to let him off.

> Latin: Tranio:
Orat ut suadeam Philolacheti,
ut istas remittat sibi.

[¶247] THEUROPIDES:
I don’t think he will. Each man reaps on his own farm. If it had been bought dear,
we shouldn’t have had permission to return it on his hands. Whatever profit there is, it’s proper to bring it home. It don’t, now-a-days, befit men to be showing compassion.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Haud opinor.
sibi quisque ruri metit. si male emptae
forent, nobis istas redhibere haud liceret.
lucri quidquid est, id domum trahere oportet.
misericordias … hominem oportet.

[¶248] TRANIO:
I’ faith, you are losing time while you are talking. Follow me.

> Latin: Tranio:
Morare hercle … facis. subsequere.

[¶249] THEUROPIDES:
Be it so.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Fiat.
dó tibi ego operám.

[¶250] TRANIO: (to THEUROPIDES.)
I’ll give you my services.
(Pointing.) There’s the old gentleman. (To SIMO.) Well now, I’ve brought you this person.

> Latin: Tranio:
Senex illíc est. em, tibi ádduxi hominem.

[¶251] SIMO:
I’m glad that you’ve arrived safely from abroad, Theuropides.

> Latin: Simo:
Sálvom te advenisse peregre gaudeo, Theopropides.

[¶252] THEUROPIDES:
May the Gods bless you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dei te ament.

[¶253] SIMO:
Your servant was telling me that you were desirous to look over this house.

> Latin: Simo:
Inspicere te aedis has velle aiebat mihi.

[¶254] THEUROPIDES:
Unless it’s inconvenient to you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nisi tibi est incommodum.

[¶255] SIMO:
Oh no; quite convenient. Do step in-doors and look over it.

> Latin: Simo:
Immo commodum. i intro atque inspice.

[¶256] THEUROPIDES: (pausing.)
But yet—the ladies—

> Latin: Theopropides:
At enim mulieres—

[¶257] SIMO:
Take you care not to trouble yourself a straw about any lady. Walk in every direction, wherever you like, all over the house just as though it were your own.

> Latin: Simo:
Cave tu ullam flocci faxis mulierem.
qua libet perambula aedis oppido tamquam tuas.

[¶258] THEUROPIDES: (apart to TRANIO.)
“Just as though—?”

> Latin: Theopropides:
Tamquam?

[¶259] TRANIO: (whispering.)
Oh, take care that you don’t throw it in his teeth now in his concern, that you have bought it. Don’t you see him, how sad a countenance the old gentleman has?

> Latin: Tranio:
Ah, cave tu ílli obiectes nunc in aegritudine,
te has emisse. non tu vides hunc, voltu uti tristi est senex?

[¶260] THEUROPIDES: (apart.)
I see.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Video.

[¶261] TRANIO: (apart.)
Then don’t seem to exult, and to be overmuch delighted; in fact, don’t make mention that you’ve bought it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ergo inridere ne videare et gestire admodum;
noli facere mentionem te ⟨has⟩ emisse.

[¶262] THEUROPIDES: (apart.)
I understand; and I think you’ve given good advice, and that it shows a humane disposition.
(Turning to SIMO.) What now?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Intellego,
et bene monitum duco, atque esse existumo humani ingeni.
quid nunc?

[¶263] SIMO:
Won’t you go in? Look over it at your leisure, just as you like.

> Latin: Simo:
Quin tu is intro, atque otiose perspecta ut lubet.

[¶264] THEUROPIDES:
I consider that you are acting civilly and kindly.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Bene benigneque arbitror te facere.

[¶265] SIMO:
Troth, I wish to do so. Should you like some one to show you over.

> Latin: Simo:
Factum edepol volo.
[vin qui perductet?]

[¶266] THEUROPIDES:
Away with any one to show me over. I don’t want him.
SIMO:
Why? What’s the matter?
THEUROPIDES:
I’ll go wrong, rather than any one should show me over.

> Latin: Theopropides:
[Apage istum perductorem, non placet.]
[quidquid est, errabo potius quam perductet quispiam.]

[¶267] TRANIO: (pointing.)
Don’t you see, this vestibule before the house, and the piazza, of what a compass it is?

> Latin: Tranio:
Viden vestibulum ante aedis hoc et ambulacrum cuius modi?

[¶268] THEUROPIDES:
Troth, really handsome!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Luculentum edepol profecto.

[¶269] TRANIO:
Well, look now, what pillars there are, with what strength they are built, and of what a thickness.

> Latin: Tranio:
Age specta postes cuius modi,
quanta firmitate facti et quanta crassitudine.

[¶270] THEUROPIDES:
I don’t think that I ever saw handsomer pillars.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Non videor vidisse postis pulchriores.

[¶271] SIMO:
I’ faith, they were some time since bought by me at such a price!

> Latin: Simo:
Pol mihi
eo pretio empti fuerant olim.

[¶272] TRANIO: (aside, whispering.)
Don’t you hear—“They were once”? He seems hardly able to refrain from tears.

> Latin: Tranio:
Audin “fuerant” dicere?
vix videtur continere lacrimas.

[¶273] THEUROPIDES:
At what price did you purchase them?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quanti hosce emeras?

[¶274] SIMO:
I gave three minae for the two, besides the carriage.
(He retires to some distance.)

> Latin: Simo:
Tris minas pro istis duobus praeter vecturam dedi.

[¶275] THEUROPIDES: (after looking close at them, to TRANIO.)
Why, upon my word, they are much more unsound than I thought them at first.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Hercle qui multo improbiores sunt quam a primo credidi.

## 3. Lines 690–1181

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/3/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/3/#p-N

[¶0] TRANIO:
Why so?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quapropter?

[¶1] THEUROPIDES:
Because, i’ faith, the woodworm has split them both from the bottom.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quia edepol ambo ab infimo tarmes secat.

[¶2] TRANIO:
I think they were cut at an improper season; that fault damages them; but even as it is, they are quite good enough, if they are covered with pitch. But it was no foreign pulse-eating artisan did this work. Don’t you see the joints in the door? (Pointing.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Intempestivos excisos credo, id eis vitium nocet.
atque etiam nunc satis boni sunt, si sunt inducti pice;
non enim haec pultiphagus opifex opera fecit barbarus.
viden coagménta in foribus?

[¶3] THEUROPIDES:
I see them.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Video.

[¶4] TRANIO:
Look, how close together they are sleeping.

> Latin: Tranio:
Specta, quam arte dormiunt.

[¶5] THEUROPIDES:
Sleeping?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dormiunt?

[¶6] TRANIO:
That is, how they wink, I intended to say. Are you satisfied?

> Latin: Tranio:
Illud quidem, ut conivent, volui dicere.
satin habes?

[¶7] THEUROPIDES:
The more I look at each particular, the more it pleases me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Vt quidquid magis contemplo, tanto magis placet.

[¶8] TRANIO: (pointing.)
Don’t you see the painting, where one crow is baffling two vultures?
The crow stands there; it’s pecking at them both in turn.
This way, look, prithee, towards me, that yon may be able to see the crow.
(THEUROPIDES turns towards him.) Now do you see it?

> Latin: Tranio:
Viden pictum, ubi ludificat cornix una volturios duos?

[¶9] THEUROPIDES: (looking about.)
For my part, I really see no crow there.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Non edepol video.

[¶10] TRANIO:
But do you look in that direction, towards yourselves, since you cannot discover the crow, if perchance you may be able to espy the vultures. (THEUROPIDES turns towards SIMO.) Now do you see them?

> Latin: Tranio:
At ego video. nam inter volturios duos
cornix astat, ea volturios duo vicissim vellicat.
quaeso huc ad me specta, cornicem ut conspicere possies.
iam vides?

[¶11] THEUROPIDES:
Upon my faith, I don’t see them.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Profecto nullam equidem illic cornicem intuor.

[¶12] TRANIO:
But I can see two vultures.

> Latin: Tranio:
At tu isto ad vos optuere, quoniam cornicem nequis
conspicari, si volturios forte possis contui.

[¶13] THEUROPIDES:
To make an end of it with you, I don’t see any bird at all painted here.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Omnino, ut te absolvam, nullam pictam conspicio hic avem.

[¶14] TRANIO:
Well then, I give it up. I excuse you; it is through age you cannot see.

> Latin: Tranio:
Age, iam mitto, ignosco: aetate non quis optuerier.

[¶15] THEUROPIDES:
These things which I can see, really they do all please me mightily.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Haec, quae possum, ea mihi profecto cuncta vehementer placent.

[¶16] SIMO: (coming forward.)
Now, at length, it’s worth your while to move further on.

> Latin: Simo:
Latius démum est operae pretium ivisse.

[¶17] THEUROPIDES:
Troth, you give good advice.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Recte edepol mones.

[¶18] SIMO: (calling at the door.)
Ho there, boy! take this person round this house and the apartments. But I myself would have shown you round, if I hadn’t had business at the Forum.

> Latin: Simo:
Eho istum, puere, circumduce hasce aedis et conclavia.
nam egomet ductarem, nisi mi esset apud forum negotium.

[¶19] THEUROPIDES:
Away with any one to show me over. I don’t want to be shown over. Whatever it is, I’d rather go wrong than any one should show me over.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Apage istum a me perductorem, nil moror ductarier.
quidquid est, errabo potius quam perductet quispiam.

[¶20] SIMO:
The house I’m speaking of.

> Latin: Simo:
Aedis dico.

[¶21] THEUROPIDES:
Then I’ll go in without any one to show me over.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ergo intro eo igitur sine perductore.

[¶22] SIMO:
Go, by all means.

> Latin: Simo:
Ilicet.

[¶23] THEUROPIDES:
I’ll go in-doors, then.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ibo intro igitur.

[¶24] TRANIO: (holding him back.)
Stop, please; let me see whether the dog—

> Latin: Tranio:
Mane sis videam, ne canis—

[¶25] THEUROPIDES:
Very well then, look.
(TRANIO looks into the passage.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Agedum vide.

[¶26] TRANIO:
There is one.
THEUROPIDES: (looking in.)
Where is it?
TRANIO: (to the dog.)
Be off and be hanged!’st, won’t you be off to utter perdition with you? What, do you still linger?’st, away with you from here!

> Latin: Tranio:
Est! abi, canis. est! abin diérecta? abin hinc in malam crucem?
at etiam restas? est! ábi istinc.

[¶27] SIMO: (coming nearer to the door.)
There’s no danger. You only move on. It’s as gentle as a woman in childbed. You may boldly step in-doors wherever you like. I’m going hence to the Forum.

> Latin: Simo:
Nil pericli est, age ⟨modo⟩.
tam placidast, quam feta. quam vis ire intro audacter licet.
eo ego hinc ad forum.—

[¶28] THEUROPIDES:
You’ve acted obligingly. Good speed to you. (Exit SIMO.) Tranio, come, make that dog move away from the door inside,
although it isn’t to be feared.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Fecisti commode, bene ambula.
Tranio, age, canem istam a foribus ⟨aliquis⟩ abducat face,
etsi non metuenda est.

[¶29] TRANIO:
Nay but (pointing), you look at it, how gently it lies. Unless you’d like yourself to appear troublesome and cowardly—

> Latin: Tranio:
Quin tu illam aspice ut placide accubat;
nisi molestum vis videri te atque ignavom.

[¶30] THEUROPIDES:
Very well, just as you like.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Iam ut lubet.
sequere hac me igitur.—

[¶31] TRANIO:
Follow me this way then.
THEUROPIDES:
For my part, I shall not move in any direction from your feet.
(They go into the house.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Equidem haud usquam a pedibus apscedam tuis.—

[¶32] (Enter PHANISCUS.)
PHANISCUS: (to himself.)
Servants who, though they are free from fault, still stand in awe of punishment, those same are wont to be serviceable to their masters.
But those who fear nothing, after they have merited punishment, hit upon foolish plans for themselves: they exercise themselves in running; they take to flight. But, if they are caught, they acquire from punishment a hoard, which by good means they cannot.
They increase from a very little, and from that they lay by a treasure. The resolution that’s in my mind is to be determined to be on my guard against punishment, before my back comes to lose its state of soundness. As hitherto it has been, so does it become my hide still to be, without a bruise, and such that I should decline its being beaten.
If I have any control over it, I shall keep it well covered up. When punishment is being showered down on others, don’t let it be showered down on me. But as servants wish their master to be, such is he wont to be. He is good to the good, bad to the bad. But now at our house at home there do live so many rogues,
lavish of their property, bearers of stripes. When they are called to go fetch their master, “I shan’t go; don’t be plaguing me; I know where you are hurrying off to,” is the reply. “Now, faith, you mule, you’re longing to go to pasturage out of doors.” With better deserts, this advantage have I reaped from them, and, in consequence, I have come from home.
I alone, out of so many servants, am going to fetch my master. When, to-morrow, my master comes to know this, in the morning he will chastise them with bull’s-hide spoils. In fine, I care less for their backs than for my own. Much rather shall they be bull’s-hide-scourged than I be rope-scourged.
(Moves on.)

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Serví qui, quom culpá carent, tamén malum metuont,
ei sólent esse eris utíbiles.
nam illí qui nil metuónt postquam sunt málum meriti,
stultá sibi expetunt consília:
exércent sese ad cúrsuram, [fugiunt] sed eí si reprehensí sunt,
fáciunt de maló peculiúm quod nequeunt ⟨dé bono⟩.
augent ex pauxillo … de parant.
mihi in pectore consili … malam rem prius
quam ut meum …
ut adhúc fuit, mihi corium ésse oportet,
sincérum atque ut votem vérberari.
si huíc imperábo, probé tectum habébo,
malúm quom impluít ceteris, ne impluát mi.
nam ut sérvi volúnt esse erum, ita solet …
boní sunt: ⟨bonúst⟩; improbí sunt, malús fit.
nam núnc domi nostrae tot péssimi vivont,
pecúli suí prodigí, plagigéruli.
ubi adversum ut eant vocantur ero: “non eo, molestus ne sis.
scio quo properas: gestis aliquo; iam hercle ire vis, mula, foras pastum.”
béne merens hóc preti inde ábstuli. abií foras.
sólus nunc eo advórsum ero ex plúrimis servis.
hóc die crástini quóm erus rescíverit,
máne castigábit eos búbulis exuviis.
póstremo minoris pendo tergum illorum, quam meum:
illi erunt bucaedae multo potius, quam ego sim restio.

[¶33] (Enter a SERVANT.)
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Hold you and stop this instant. Phaniscus! look round, I say!
PHANISCUS: (not turning round.)
Don’t be annoying to me.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Do see how scornful the monkey is!

> Latin: Pinacivm:
Máne tu atque adsiste ílico,
Phánisce. etiam respicis?
Phaniscvs:
Míhi molestus ne sies.
Pinacivm:
Víde ut fastidit simia.
manésne ilico, ímpure párasite?

[¶34] PHANISCUS:
I am so for myself; I choose to be. Why do you trouble yourself about it?
(Walking on.)
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Are you going to stop this instant, you dirty parasite?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
…
quí parasitus sum?
Pinacivm:
Égo enim dicam: cíbo perduci pótis es quovis.

[¶35] PHANISCUS: (turning round.)
How am I a parasite?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Why, I’ll tell you: you can be drawn anywhere by victuals.
Do you give yourself airs, because your master’s so fond of you?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Mihi súm, libet esse. quid íd curas?
Pinacivm:
Ferócem facís, quia te érus amat.

[¶36] PHANISCUS: (rubbing his eyes.)
O dear, my eyes do ache.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Why so?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Vah,
oculí dolent.
Pinacivm:
Cur?

[¶37] PHANISCUS:
Because the smoke’s so troublesome.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Hold your tongue, will you, you clever workman, who are in the habit of coining money out of lead.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Quia fúmus molestust.
Pinacivm:
Tace sís, faber, qui cúdere soles plúmbeos nummos.

[¶38] PHANISCUS:
You cannot compel me to be abusive to you. My master knows me.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Why, really, his own pillow he ought to know, for resting on when drunk.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Nón potes tu cógere me, ut tíbi male dicam.
novít erus me.
Pinacivm:
Suám quidem pól culcitulam opórtet.

[¶39] PHANISCUS:
If you were sober, you wouldn’t be abusive.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Am I to give heed to you, when you won’t to me.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Si sóbrius sis, male nón dicas.
Pinacivm:
Tibi obtémperem, cum tu míhi nequeas?

[¶40] PHANISCUS:
But, you rascal, you come along with me to fetch him.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Troth now, Phaniscus, prithee, do leave off talking about these matters.
PHANISCUS:
I’ll do so, and knock at the door. (Knocks at the door of the house of THEUROPIDES.) Hallo there! is there any person here to protect this door from a most serious injury? (Knocking again.) Is any one, is any one, I say, coming out here and going to open it?
Why, really, no one comes out here. Just as befits such worthless fellows, so they are. But on that account, I’ve the more need to be cautious that no one may come out and use me ill.
(They stand aside.)

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Át tu mecum, péssime, ito advérsus; quaeso hercle abstine
iám sermonem de istis rebus.
Pinacivm:
Faciam, et pultabo fores.
heus, écquis hic est, máximam qui hís iniuriam
foribús defendat? écquis has aperít foris?
nemo hínc quidem foras éxit.
ut esse áddecet nequam hominés, ita sunt. sed eó magis cauto est ópus, ne huc
exeát qui male me múlcet.

[¶41] (Enter TRANIO and THEUROPIDES, from the house of SIMO.)
TRANIO:
What’s your opinion of this bargain?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quíd tibi visum est mercimoni?

[¶42] THEUROPIDES:
I am quite delighted.

> Latin: Theopropides:
… totus gaudeo.

[¶43] TRANIO:
Does it seem to you to have been bought too dear?

> Latin: Tranio:
Num nimio emptae tibi videntur?

[¶44] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, I’m sure that I never anywhere saw a house thrown away, this one only excepted.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Numquam edepol ego me scio
vidisse usquam abiectas aedes, nisi modo hasce.

[¶45] TRANIO:
Does it please you, then?

> Latin: Tranio:
Ecquid placent?

[¶46] THEUROPIDES:
Does it please me, do you ask me? Why yes, upon my faith, it really does please me very much.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ecquid placeant me rogas? immo hercle vero perplacent.

[¶47] TRANIO:
What a fine set of rooms for the women! What a porch!

> Latin: Tranio:
Cuius modi gynaeceum? quid porticum?

[¶48] THEUROPIDES:
Exceedingly fine. For my part, I don’t think that there is any Porch larger than this in the public buildings.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Insanum bonam.
non equidem ullam in publico esse maiorem hac existimo.

[¶49] TRANIO:
Why, I myself and Philolaches have taken the measure sure of all the porches in the public buildings.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quin ego ipse et Philolaches in publico omnis porticus
sumus commensi.

[¶50] THEUROPIDES:
Well, what then?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid igitur?

[¶51] TRANIO:
This is far larger than all of them.

> Latin: Tranio:
Longe omnium longissima est.

[¶52] THEUROPIDES:
Immortal Gods—a splendid bargain! On my word, if he were now to offer six great talents of silver, ready money, for it, I would never take it.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Di immortales, mercimoni lepidi. ⟨si⟩ hercle nunc ferat
sex talenta magna argenti pro istis praesentaria,
numquam accipiam.

[¶53] TRANIO:
Upon my faith, if you were inclined to take it, I would never let you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Si hercle accipere cupies, ego numquam sinam.

[¶54] THEUROPIDES:
My money has been well invested upon this purchase.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Bene res nostra conlocata est istoc mercimonio.

[¶55] TRANIO:
Boldly confess that by my advice and prompting it was done, who urged him to take up the money of the Banker upon interest, which we paid this person by way of deposit.

> Latin: Tranio:
Me suasore atque impulsore id factum audacter dicito,
qui subegi, faenore argentum ab danista ut sumeret,
quod isti dedimus arraboni.

[¶56] THEUROPIDES:
You’ve saved the whole ship. Eighty minae, you say, are owing for it?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Servavisti omnem ratem.
nempe octoginta debentur huic minae?

[¶57] TRANIO:
Not a coin more.

> Latin: Tranio:
Hau nummo amplius.

[¶58] THEUROPIDES:
He may have it to-day.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Hodie accipiat.

[¶59] TRANIO:
By all means so, that there may be no dispute arising; or else pay them over to me, I’ll then pay them over to him.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ita enim vero, ne qua causa subsiet.
vel mihi denumerato, ego illi porro denumeravero.

[¶60] THEUROPIDES:
But still, don’t let there be any taking me in, if I do give them to you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
At enim ne quid captioni mihi sit, si dederim tibi.

[¶61] TRANIO:
Could I venture to deceive you in deed or word even in jest only?

> Latin: Tranio:
Egone te ioculo modo ausim dicto aut facto fallere?

[¶62] THEUROPIDES:
Could I venture not to be on my guard against you, so as not to trust anything to you?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Egone aps te ausim non cavere, ne quid committam tibi?

[¶63] TRANIO:
Why, have I ever imposed upon you in anything, since I was your servant?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid? tibi umquam quicquam, postquam tuos sum, verborum dedi?

[¶64] THEUROPIDES:
But I’ve taken good care of that; I owe thanks to myself and my own judgment for that. If I’m only on my guard against you solely, I’m quite wise enough.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ego enim cavi recte: eam mihi des gratiam atque animo meo.
sat sapio, si aps te modo uno caveo.

[¶65] TRANIO: (aside.)
I agree with you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Tecum sentio.

[¶66] THEUROPIDES:
Now be off into the country; tell my son that I’ve arrived.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nunc abi rús, dic me advenisse filio.

[¶67] TRANIO:
I’ll do as you wish.

> Latin: Tranio:
Faciam, ut iubes.

[¶68] THEUROPIDES:
Run with all speed; bid him come to the city at once together with you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Curriculo iube in urbem veniat iam simul tecum.

[¶69] TRANIO:
Very well. (Aside.) Now I’ll betake myself this way by the back-door to my boon-companions; I’ll tell them that things are quiet here, and how I have kept him away from here.
(Exit.) (THEUROPIDES, PHANISCUS, and another SERVANT.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Licet.
nunc ego me illac per posticum ad congerrones conferam.
dicam ut hic res sint quietae atque hunc ut hinc amoverim.—

[¶70] PHANISCUS: (coming forward.)
Really, I don’t hear either the sound of revellers here, as once it was, nor yet the music-girl singing, nor any one else.
(Goes towards the door.)

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Hic quidem neque convivarum sonitus, item ut antehac fuit,
neque tibicinam cantantem neque alium quemquam audio.

[¶71] THEUROPIDES:
What’s the matter here? What are these people seeking at my house? What do they want? What are they peeping in for?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quae illaec res est? quid illisce homines quaerunt apud aedis meas?
quid volunt? quid intro spectant?
Pinacivm:
Pergam pultare ostium.
heus, reclude, heus, Tranio, etiamne aperis?
Theopropides:
Quae haec est fabula?
Pinacivm:
Etiamne aperis? Callidamati nostro adversum venimus.
Theopropides:
Heus vos, pueri, quid istic agitis? quid istas aedis frangitis?

[¶72] PHANISCUS:
I shall proceed to knock at the door. (Knocks.) Hallo there, unlock the door! Hallo, Tranio! are you going to open it, I say?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Heus senex, quid tu percontare ad te quod nihil attinet?

[¶73] THEUROPIDES: (advancing.)
What story’s this, I wonder?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nihil ad me attinet?

[¶74] PHANISCUS: (aloud.)
Are you going to open it, I say? I’ve come to fetch my master Callidamates.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Nisi forte factus esfactu's praefectus novos,
qui res alienas procures, quaeras videas audias.

[¶75] THEUROPIDES:
Harkye, you lads! what are you doing there? Why are you breaking down that door?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Non sunt istae aedis, ubi statis.

[¶76] PHANISCUS:
Our master’s at a drinking-party here.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Quid ais? an iam vendidit
aedis Philolaches? aut quidem iste nos defrustratur senex.

[¶77] THEUROPIDES:
Your master at a drinking-party here?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Vera dico. sed quid vobis est negoti hic?

[¶78] PHANISCUS:
I say so.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Eloquar.
erus hic noster potat.

[¶79] THEUROPIDES:
You’re carrying the joke too far, my lad.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Erus hic voster potat?

[¶80] PHANISCUS:
We’ve come to fetch him.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Ita loquor.

[¶81] THEUROPIDES:
What person?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Puere, nimium delicatus esdelicatu's.

[¶82] PHANISCUS:
Our master. Prithee, how often must I tell you?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Ei advorsum venimus.

[¶83] THEUROPIDES:
There’s no one living here my lad; for I do think that you are a decent lad.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Cui homini?

[¶84] PHANISCUS:
Doesn’t a young gentleman called Philolaches live in this house?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates: (aside.)
This old fellow’s crack-brained, surely.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Ero nostro. quaeso, quotiens dicendumst tibi?
Theopropides:
Puere, nemo hic habitat. nam te esse arbitror puerum probum.

[¶85] PHANISCUS:
You are entirely mistaken, respected sir; for unless he moved from here to-day or yesterday, I know for certain that he’s living here.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Non hic Philolaches adulescens habitat hisce in aedibus?

[¶86] THEUROPIDES:
Why, no one has been living here for these six months past.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
You are dreaming.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Habitavit, verum emigravit iam diu ex hisce aedibus.
Pinacivm:
Senex hic elleborosust certe.
Phaniscvs:
Erras pervorse, pater.
nam nisi hinc hodie emigravit aut heri, certo scio
hic habitare.

[¶87] THEUROPIDES:
What, I?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
You.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quin sex menses iam hic nemo habitat.
Pinacivm:
Somnias.

[¶88] THEUROPIDES:
Don’t you be impertinent. Let me speak to the lad. (Pointing to PHANISCUS.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Egone?
Pinacivm:
Tu.
Theopropides:
Tu ne molestus esmolestu's. sine me cum puero loqui.
nemo habitat.

[¶89] PHANISCUS:
No one lives there? O dear—

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Habitat profecto, nám heri et nudius tertius,
quartus, quintus, sextus, usque postquam hinc peregre eius pater
abiit, numquam hic triduom unum desitum est potarier.

[¶90] THEUROPIDES:
It’s the fact.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid ais?

[¶91] PHANISCUS:
Really! why, yesterday and the day before, four, five, six days ago, all along, in fact, since his father went abroad from here, eating and drinking have never ceased for a single three days here.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Triduom unum est haud intermissum hic esse et bibi,
scorta duci, pergraecari, fidicinas tibicinas
†ducere.

[¶92] THEUROPIDES:
What is it you say?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quis istaec faciebat?
Phaniscvs:
Philolaches.
Theopropides:
Qui Philolaches?

[¶93] PHANISCUS:
That eating and drinking have never stopped for a single three days here,
bringing in wenches, living like Greeks, hiring harpists and music-girls.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Quoius patrem Theopropidem esse opinor.

[¶94] THEUROPIDES:
Who was it did this?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ei ⟨mihi⟩, occidi,
si haec hic vera memorat. pergam porro percontarier.
ain tu istic potare solitum Philolachem istum, quisquis est,
cúm ero vostro?

[¶95] PHANISCUS:
Philolaches.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Hic, inquam.

[¶96] THEUROPIDES:
What Philolaches?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Puere, praeter speciem stultus es.
vide sis, ne forte ad merendam quopiam devorteris
atque ibi ampliuscule quam sátis fuerit biberis.

[¶97] PHANISCUS:
He whose father I take to be Theuropides.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Quid est?

[¶98] THEUROPIDES: (apart.)
O dear, O dear! I’m utterly undone, if he says the truth in this. I’ll continue to question him still Do you say that this Philolaches, whoever he is, has been in the habit of drinking here together
with your master?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ita dico, ne ad alias aedis perperam deveneris.

[¶99] PHANISCUS:
Here, I tell you.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Scio qua me ire oportet et quo venerim novi locum.
Philolaches hic habitat, cuius est pater Theopropides.
qui, postquam pater ad mercatum hinc abiit, hic tibicinam
liberavit.

[¶100] THEUROPIDES:
My lad, contrary to your appearance, you are a fool. See now, please, that you’ve not perchance been dropping in somewhere for an afternoon’s whet, and have been drinking there a little more than was enough.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Philolachesne ergo?

[¶101] PHANISCUS:
What do you mean?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Ita, Philematium quidem.

[¶102] THEUROPIDES:
Just what I say: don’t be going by mistake to other persons’ houses.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quanti?

[¶103] PHANISCUS:
I know where I ought to go, and the place to which I was to come.
Philolaches lives here, whose father is Theuropides; and who, after his father went away to trade, made free a music-girl here.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Triginta.

[¶104] THEUROPIDES:
Philolaches, say you?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Talentis?

[¶105] PHANISCUS:
Just so; Philematium, I mean.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
μὰ τὸν … ʼαπόλλω, sed minis.

[¶106] THEUROPIDES:
For how much?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
For thirty talents.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Liberavit?

[¶107] PHANISCUS:
No, by Apollo; you mean minae.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Liberavit valide, triginta minis.

[¶108] THEUROPIDES:
Do you say that a mistress was purchased for Philolaches for thirty minae?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ain minis triginta amicam destinatam Philolachi?

[¶109] PHANISCUS:
I do say so.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Aio.

[¶110] THEUROPIDES:
And that he gave her her freedom?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Atque eam manu emisisse?

[¶111] PHANISCUS:
I do say so.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Aio.

[¶112] THEUROPIDES:
And that after his father had departed hence abroad, he has been carousing here continually with your master?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Et, postquam eius hinc pater
sit profectus peregre, perpotasse assiduo, ác simul
tuo cum domino?

[¶113] PHANISCUS:
I do say so.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Aió.

[¶114] THEUROPIDES:
Well, has he made purchase of the house next door here?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid? is aedis emit has hinc proxumas?

[¶115] PHANISCUS:
I don’t say so.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Non aio.

[¶116] THEUROPIDES:
Has he given forty minae, too, to this person, to be as a deposit?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quadraginta etiam dedit huic quae essent pignori?

[¶117] PHANISCUS:
Nor yet do I say so.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Neque istud aio.

[¶118] THEUROPIDES:
Ah me! you’ve proved my ruin!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ei, perdis.

[¶119] PHANISCUS:
Aye, and he has proved the ruin of his father.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Immo suom patrem illic perdidit.

[¶120] THEUROPIDES:
You prophesy the truth! I could wish it false!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Vera cantas.

[¶121] PHANISCUS:
A friend of his father, I suppose?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Vana vellem. patris amicus esamicu's videlicet.

[¶122] THEUROPIDES:
Ah me! Upon my faith, you do pronounce him to be a wretched father.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Eu edepol patrem eius miserum praedicas.

[¶123] PHANISCUS:
Why really, this is nothing at all—thirty minae, in comparison with the other expenses he has incurred in good living.
He has ruined his father.
There’s one servant there a very great scoundrel, Tranio by name; he could even waste the revenue of a Hercules.
On my word, I’m sadly distrest for his father; for when he comes to know that things have gone on thus, a hot coal will be scorching his breast, poor man.

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Nihil hoc quidem est,
triginta minae, prae quam alios dapsilis sumptus facit.

[¶124] THEUROPIDES:
If, indeed, this is the truth.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Perdidit patrem.

[¶125] PHANISCUS:
What am I to gain, that I should tell a lie?
(Knocks again at the door.) Hallo, you! is any one coming to open this door?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates:
Why do you knock in this way, when there’s no one in the house?

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Vnus istic servos est sacerrimus,
Tranio: is vel Herculi conterere quaestum possiet.
edepol ne me eiús patris mísere miseret, qui cum istaec sciet
facta ita, amburet ei misero corculum carbunculus.
Theopropides:
Si quidem istaec vera sunt.

[¶126] PHANISCUS:
I fancy that he’s gone elsewhere to carouse. Now then, let’s begone.
(They move as if going.)

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Quid meream, quam ob rem mentiar?
Pinacivm:
Heus vos, ecquis hasce aperit?
Phaniscvs:
Quid istas pultas, ubi nemo intus est?
alio credo comissatum abiisse. abeamus nunciam
atque porro quaeritemus ⟨illos⟩. sequere hac me.
Pinacivm:
⟨Sequor⟩.

[¶127] THEUROPIDES:
What, my lad, are you off then?
Liberty’s the overcoat for your back.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Puere, iamne abis?

[¶128] PHANISCUS:
Nothing have I with which to cover my back, except to pay respect and service to my master.
(Exeunt PHANISCUS and SERVANT.)

> Latin: Phaniscvs:
Libertas paenulast tergo tuo:
mihi, nisi ut erum metuam et curem, nihil est qui tergum tegam.—

[¶129] THEUROPIDES: (to himself.)
By my troth, I am undone! What need is there of talking? According to the words I have heard, I surely haven’t lately voyaged hence to Aegypt,
but even to some desolate land and the most remote shores have I been borne about, so much am I at a loss to know where I now am. But I shall soon know; for see, here’s the person of whom my son bought the house. (Enter SIMO.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Perii hercle, quid opust verbis? ut verba audio,
non equidem in Aegyptum hinc modo vectus fui,
sed etiam in terras solas orasque ultumas
sum circumvectus, ita ubi nunc sim nescio.
verum iam scibo, nam eccum unde aedis filius
meus emit. quid agis tu?
Simo:
A foro incedo domum.

[¶130] THEUROPIDES:
What are you about?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Numquid processit ad forum hodie novi?

[¶131] SIMO:
I’m coming home from the Forum.

> Latin: Simo:
Etiam.

[¶132] THEUROPIDES:
Has anything new been going on at the Forum to-day?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid tandem?

[¶133] SIMO:
Why yes.

> Latin: Simo:
Vidi efferri mortuom.

[¶134] THEUROPIDES:
What is it, pray?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Hem.

[¶135] SIMO:
I saw a dead man being carried to burial.

> Latin: Simo:
[Novom unum: vidi mortuom efferri foras.]
modo eum vixisse aiebant.

[¶136] THEUROPIDES:
Dear me!
that is something new!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Vae capiti tuo.

[¶137] SIMO:
I saw one who was dead being carried out to burial
They said that he had been alive but just before.

> Latin: Simo:
Quid tu otiosus res novas requiritas?

[¶138] THEUROPIDES:
Woe to that head of yours for your nonsense!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quia hodie adveni peregre.

[¶139] SIMO:
Why are you, thus idling about, enquiring after the news?

> Latin: Simo:
Promisi foras,
ad cenam ne me te vocare censeas.

[¶140] THEUROPIDES:
Because I’ve just arrived from abroad.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Haud postulo edepol.

[¶141] SIMO:
I’m engaged out to dine: don’t suppose I shall invite you.

> Latin: Simo:
Verum cras, nisi ⟨quis⟩ prius
vocaverit me, vel apud te cenavero.

[¶142] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, I don’t want.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ne istuc quidem edepol postulo. nisi quid magis
es occupatus, operam mihi da.

[¶143] SIMO:
But, to-morrow, unless any person invites me first, I’ll even dine with you.

> Latin: Simo:
Maxime.

[¶144] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, and that, too, I don’t want. Unless you are engaged with something of greater importance, lend me your attention.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Minas quadraginta accepisti, quod sciam,
a Philolachete?

[¶145] SIMO:
By all means.

> Latin: Simo:
Numquam nummum, quod sciam.

[¶146] THEUROPIDES:
You have received, as far as I understand, forty minae of Philolaches.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid, a Tránione servo?

[¶147] SIMO:
Never a coin, so far as I know.

> Latin: Simo:
Multo ⟨hercle⟩ id minus.

[¶148] THEUROPIDES:
What? Not from my servant Tranio?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quas arraboni tibi dedit?

[¶149] SIMO:
Much less is that the case.

> Latin: Simo:
Quid somnias?

[¶150] THEUROPIDES:
Which he gave you by way of deposit?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Egone? at quidem tu, qui istoc te speras modo
potesse dissimulando infectum hoc reddere.

[¶151] SIMO:
What are you dreaming about?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid autem?

[¶152] THEUROPIDES:
What, I? Why, really,’tis yourself, who hope that, by dissembling in this manner,
you’ll be able to make void this bargain.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quod me apsente hic tecum filius
negoti gessit.

[¶153] SIMO:
Why, what do you mean?

> Latin: Simo:
Mecum ut ille hic gesserit,
dum tu hinc abes, negoti? quidnam aut quo die?

[¶154] THEUROPIDES:
The business that, in my absence, my son transacted with you here.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Minas tibi octoginta argenti debeo.

[¶155] SIMO:
How did your son,
in your absence, transact any business with me? What pray, or on what day?

> Latin: Simo:
Non mihi quidem hercle. verum, si debes, cedo.
fides servanda est, ne ire infitias postules.

[¶156] THEUROPIDES:
I owe you eighty minae of silver.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Profecto non negabo debere, et dabo;
tu cave quadraginta accepisse hinc te neges.

[¶157] SIMO:
Not to me, indeed, upon my faith; but still, if you do owe them, give them me. Faith must be kept. Don’t be attempting to deny it.

> Latin: Simo:
Quaeso edepol huc me aspecta, et responde mihi.
⟨quadraginta istas cur mih⟩i argenti minas
fil⟨ius, ut ais, debebat?⟩

[¶158] THEUROPIDES:
Assuredly, I shall not deny that I owe them; and I shall pay them.
Do you take care how you deny that you received the forty from him.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ego dicam tibi.
ta⟨lentis duobus, Tranio ut dixit⟩ mihi,
de te aedis ⟨emit.⟩

[¶159] SIMO:
Troth now, prithee, look this way at me, and answer me.
He said that you were wishful to give a wife to your son; for that reason, he said that you intended building on your own premises.

> Latin: Simo:
⟨De me⟩ ille aedis emerit?
…
Simo:
Te velle uxorem aiebat tuo nato dare,
ideo aedificare hic velle aiebat in tuis.

[¶160] THEUROPIDES:
I, intended building here?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Hic aedificare volui?

[¶161] SIMO:
So he told me.

> Latin: Simo:
Sic dixit mihi.

[¶162] THEUROPIDES:
Ah me! I’m ruined outright! I’ve hardly any voice left. Neighbours, I’m undone, ruined quite!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ei mihi, disperii. vocis non habeo satis.
vicine, perii, interii.

[¶163] SIMO:
Has Tranio been causing any confusion?

> Latin: Simo:
Numquid Tranio
turbavit?

[¶164] THEUROPIDES:
Yes; he has thrown everything into confusion. He has made a fool of me to-day in a disgraceful manner.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Immo éxturbavit omnia.
deludificatust mé hodie indignis modis.

[¶165] SIMO:
What is it you say?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid tú ais?

[¶166] THEUROPIDES:
This matter is just as I am telling you:
he has this day made a fool of me in an outrageous manner. Now I beseech you that you’ll kindly aid me, and lend me your assistance.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Haec res sic est ut narro tibi:
deludificatust me hodie in perpetuom modum.
nunc te obsecro, ut me bene iuves operamque des.

[¶167] SIMO:
What would you have?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid vis?

[¶168] THEUROPIDES:
I beg of you, come this way together with me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
I mecum ⟨hinc⟩, obsecro, ⟨ad te⟩ una simul.

[¶169] SIMO:
Be it so.

> Latin: Simo:
Fiat.

[¶170] THEUROPIDES:
Lend me the assistance of your slaves and some scourges.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Servorumque operam et lora mihi cedo.

[¶171] SIMO:
Take them by all means.

> Latin: Simo:
Sume.

[¶172] THEUROPIDES:
At the same time I’ll tell you about this,
in what a fashion he has this day imposed upon me.
(They go into the house of SIMO.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Eademque opera haéc tibi narravero,
quis med exemplis hodie ludificatus est.

[¶173] (Enter TRANIO.)
TRANIO: (to himself.)
The man that shall prove timid in critical matters, will not be worth a nutshell. And, really, to say what that expression, “worth a nutshell,” means, I don’t know. But after my master sent me into the country to fetch his son hither,
I went that way (pointing) slily through the lane to our garden. At the entrance to the garden that’s in the lane, I opened the door; and by that road I led out all the troop, both men and women. After, from being in a state of siege, I had led out my troops to a place of safety, I adopted the plan of convoking a senate of my comrades,
and when I had convoked it, they forthwith banished me from the senate. When I myself perceived that the matter must be decided by my own judgment, as soon as ever I could, I did the same as many others do, whose affairs are in a critical or a perplexed state; they proceed to render them more perplexed, so that nothing can be settled.
But I know full well, that now by no means can this be concealed from the old man.
But how’s this, that our next neighbour’s door makes a noise? Why, surely this is my master: I’d like to have a taste of his talk.
(Goes aside, out of sight of THEUROPIDES.) (Enter THEUROPIDES, from SIMO’s house.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Quí homo timidus erit in rebus dubiis, nauci non erit;
atque equidem quid id esse dicam verbum nauci, nescio.
nám erus me postquam rus misit, filium ut suom arcesserem,
abii illac per angiportum ad hortum nostrum clanculum,
ostium quod in angiportu est horti, patefeci fores,
eaque eduxi omném legionem, ét maris et feminas.
postquam ex opsidione in tutum eduxi maniplares meos,
capio consilium, ut senatum congerronum convocem.
quoniam convocavi, atque illi me ex senatu segregant.
ubi ego me video venire in meo foro, quantum potest
facio idem quod plurimi alii, quibus res timida aut turbidast:
pergunt turbare usque, ut ne quid possit conquiescere.
nam scio equidem nullo pacto iam esse posse haec clam senem.
non amicus alius quisquamst …
aut …
pro …
ille qui … ero simul. …
praeoccupabo atque anteveniam et foedus feriam. me moror.
sed quid hoc ést, quod foris concrepuit proxima vicinia?
erus meús hic quidem est. gustare ego eius sermonem volo.

[¶174] THEUROPIDES: (in the doorway, speaking to SIMO’s SLAVES.)
Do you stand there, in that spot within the threshold; so that, the very instant I call,
you may sally forth at once. Quickly fasten the handcuffs upon him. I’ll wait before the house for this fellow that makes a fool of me, whose hide I’ll make a fool of in fine style, if I live.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ilico intra limen isti astate, ut, cum extemplo vocem,
continuo exiliatis. manicas celeriter conectite.
ego illum ante aedis praestolabor ludificatorem meum,
cuius ego hodie ludificabor corium, si vivo, probe.

[¶175] TRANIO: (apart.)
The affair’s all out. Now it’s best for you, Tranio, to consider what you are to do.

> Latin: Tranio:
Res palam est. nunc te videre meliust quid agas, Tranio.

[¶176] THEUROPIDES: (to himself.)
I must go to work to catch him cleverly and artfully when he comes here.
I’ll not disclose to him my feelings all at once; I’ll throw out my line; I’ll conceal the fact that I know anything of these matters.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Docte atque astu mihi captandumst cum illo, ubi huc advenerit.
non ego illi éxtemplo hamum ostendam, sensim mittam lineam.
dissimulabo me horum quicquam scire.

[¶177] TRANIO: (apart.)
O cunning mortal! not another person in Athens can be pronounced more clever than he. One can no more this day deceive him than he can a stone. I’ll accost the man; I’ll address him.

> Latin: Tranio:
O mortalem malum,
alter hoc Athenis nemo doctior dici potest.
verba illi non magis dare hodie quisquam quam lapidi potest.
adgrediar hominem, appellabo.

[¶178] THEUROPIDES: (to himself.)
Now I do wish that he would come here.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nunc ego ille húc veniat velim.

[¶179] TRANIO: (apart.)
I’ faith, if me indeed you want, here I am ready at hand for you. (Comes forward.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Siquidem pol me quaeris, adsum praesens praesenti tibi.

[¶180] THEUROPIDES:
Bravo! Tranio, what’s being done?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Euge, Tranio, quid agitur?

[¶181] TRANIO:
The country people are coming from the country Philolaches will be here in a moment.

> Latin: Tranio:
Veniunt rure rustici.
Philolaches iam hic aderit.

[¶182] THEUROPIDES:
I’ faith, he comes opportunely for me. This neighbour of ours I take to be a shameless and dishonest fellow.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Edepol mi opportune advenerit.
nostrum ego hunc vicinum opinor esse hominem audacem et malum.

[¶183] TRANIO:
Why so?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quidum?

[¶184] THEUROPIDES:
Inasmuch as he denies that he knows you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quia negat novisse vos.

[¶185] TRANIO:
Denies it?

> Latin: Tranio:
Negat?

[¶186] THEUROPIDES:
And declares that you never gave him a single coin of money

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nec vos sibi
nummum umquam argenti dedisse.

[¶187] TRANIO:
Out with you, you are joking me, I do believe; he doesn’t deny it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Abi, lúdis me, credo haud negat.

[¶188] THEUROPIDES:
How so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid iam?

[¶189] TRANIO:
I am sure now that you are joking; for surely he doesn’t deny it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Scio, iocaris nunc tu. nam ille quidem ⟨edepol⟩ haud negat.

[¶190] THEUROPIDES:
Nay but, upon my faith, he really does deny it; or that he has sold this house to Philolaches.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Immo edepol negat profecto, neque se hasce aedis Philolachi
vendidisse.

[¶191] TRANIO:
Well now, pray, has he denied that the money was paid him?

> Latin: Tranio:
Eho, an negavit sibi datum argentum, obsecro?

[¶192] THEUROPIDES:
Nay more, he offered to take an oath to me, if I desired it,
that he had neither sold this house, nor had any money him paid been.
I told him the same that you told me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quin ius iurandum pollicitust dare se, si vellem, mihi,
neque se hasce aedis vendidisse neque sibi argentum datum [est].
…
Theopropides:
Dixi ego istuc idem illi.

[¶193] TRANIO:
What did he say?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid ait?

[¶194] THEUROPIDES:
He offered to give up all his servants for examination.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Servos pollicitust dare
suos mihi omnes quaestioni.

[¶195] TRANIO:
Nonsense! On my faith, he never will give them up.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nugas. numquam edepol dabit.

[¶196] THEUROPIDES:
He really does offer them.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dat profecto.

[¶197] TRANIO:
Why then, do you summon him to trial.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quin i cum illo in ius. sine inveniam.

[¶198] THEUROPIDES:
Wait a bit;
I’ll make trial as I fancy. I’m determined on it.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Mane.
experiar, ut opinor. certum est.

[¶199] TRANIO:
Bring the fellow here to me.

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Immo⟩ mihi hominem cedo.
vel hominem iube aedis † mancipio poscere.

[¶200] THEUROPIDES:
What then, if I go fetch some men?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Immo hoc primum volo,
quaestioni accipere servos.

[¶201] TRANIO:
It ought to have been done already;
or else bid the young man to demand possession of the house.

> Latin: Tranio:
Faciundum edepol censeo.

[¶202] THEUROPIDES:
Why no, I want to do this first—to put the servants under examination.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid si igitur ego accersam homines?

[¶203] TRANIO:
I’ faith, I think it ought to be done.
Meantime, I’ll take possession of this altar.
(Runs to the altar.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Factum iam esse oportuit.
ego interim hanc aram occupabo.

[¶204] THEUROPIDES:
Why so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid ita?

[¶205] TRANIO:
You can understand nothing.
Why, that those may not be able to take refuge here whom he shall give up for examination, I’ll keep guard here for you; so that the examination may not come to nothing.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nullam rem sapis.
né enim illi huc confugere possint, quaestioni quos dabit.
hic ego tibi praesidebo, ne interbitat quaestio.

[¶206] THEUROPIDES:
Get up from the altar.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Surge.

[¶207] TRANIO:
By no means.

> Latin: Tranio:
Minime.

[¶208] THEUROPIDES:
Prithee, don’t you take possession of the altar.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Ne occupassis, obsecro, aram.

[¶209] TRANIO:
Why so?

> Latin: Tranio:
Cur?

[¶210] THEUROPIDES:
You shall hear; why, because I especially want this, for them to be taking refuge there. Do let them; so much the more easily shall I get him fined before the judge.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Scies.
quia enim id maxime volo, ut illi ístoc confugiant. sine:
tanto apud iúdicem hunc argenti condemnabo facilius.

[¶211] TRANIO:
What you intend to do, do it. Why do you wish to sow further strife? You don’t know how ticklish a thing it is to go to law.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quod agas id agas. quid tu porro serere vis negotium?
nescis quam metuculosa res sit ire ad iudicem?

[¶212] THEUROPIDES:
Just get up, (beckoning) this way; it’s, then, to ask your advice upon something that I want you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Surgedum huc igitur. consulere quiddam est quod tecum volo.

[¶213] TRANIO:
Still, as I am, I’ll give my advice from this spot: my wits are much sharper when I’m sittings. Besides, advice is given with higher sanction from holy places.

> Latin: Tranio:
Sic tamen hinc consilium dedero. nimio plus sapio sedens.
tum consilia firmiora sunt de divinis locis.

[¶214] THEUROPIDES:
Get up; don’t be trifling. Just look me in the face.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Surge, ne nugare. aspicedum contra me.

[¶215] TRANIO: (looking at him.)
I am looking.

> Latin: Tranio:
Aspexi.

[¶216] THEUROPIDES:
Do you see me?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Vides?

[¶217] TRANIO:
I do see—that if any third person were to step in here, he would die of hunger.

> Latin: Tranio:
Video. huc si quis intercedat tertius, pereat fame.

[¶218] THEUROPIDES:
Why so?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quidum?

[¶219] TRANIO:
Because he would get no profit; for, upon my faith, we are both artful ones.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quia nil ⟨illi⟩ quaesti sit. mali hercle ambo sumus.

[¶220] THEUROPIDES:
I’m undone!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Perii.

[¶221] TRANIO:
What’s the matter with you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid tibi est?

[¶222] THEUROPIDES:
You have deceived me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Dedisti verba.

[¶223] TRANIO:
How so, pray?

> Latin: Tranio:
Qui tandem?

[¶224] THEUROPIDES:
You’ve wiped me clean.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Probe
med emunxti.

[¶225] TRANIO:
Consider, please, if it wasn’t well done; is your nose running still?

> Latin: Tranio:
Vide sis, satine recte: num mucci fluont?

[¶226] THEUROPIDES:
Aye, all my brains besides have you been wiping out of my head as well. For all your villanies I have discovered from their very roots; and not from the roots, indeed, i’ faith, but even from beneath the very roots.
Never this day, by my troth, will you have planned all this without being punished.
I shall at once, you villain, order fire and faggots to be placed around you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Immo etiam cerebrum quoque omne é capite emunxti meo.
nam omnia male facta vestra repperi radicitus,
non radicitus quidem hercle, verum etiam exradicitus.

[¶227] TRANIO:
Don’t do it; for it’s my way to be sweeter boiled than roasted.

> Latin: Tranio:
Numquam edepol hodie ⟨hinc, si vivo,⟩ invitus desistam tibi.

[¶228] THEUROPIDES:
Upon my faith, I’ll make an example of you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Iam iubebo ignem et sarmenta, carnifex, circumdari.

[¶229] TRANIO:
Because I please you, you select me for an example.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ne faxis, nam elixus esse quam assus soleo suavior.

[¶230] THEUROPIDES:
Say now: what kind of a person did I leave my son, when I went away from here?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Exempla edepol faciam ego in te.

[¶231] TRANIO:
One with feet and hands, with fingers, ears, eyes, and lips.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quia placeo, exemplum expetis?

[¶232] THEUROPIDES:
I asked you something else than that.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Loquere: quoius modi reliqui, quom hinc abibam, filium?

[¶233] TRANIO:
For that reason I now answer you something else.
But look, I see Callidamates, the friend of your son, coming this way. Deal with me in his presence, if you want anything

> Latin: Tranio:
Cum pedibus, manibus, cum digitis, auribus, oculis, labris.
Theopropides:
Aliud te rogo.
Tranio:
Aliud ergo nunc tibi respondeo.
sed eccum tui gnati sodalem video húc incedere
Callidamatem: illo praesente mecum agito, si quid voles.

[¶234] (Enter CALLIDAMATES, at a distance.)
CALLIDAMATES: (to himself.)
When I had buried all drowsiness, and slept off the debauch, Philolaches told me that his father had arrived here from abroad; in what a way too his servant had imposed upon the man on his arrival;
he said that he was afraid to come into his presence. Now of our company I am deputed sole ambassador, to obtain peace from his father. And look, most opportunely here he is. (Accosting THEUROPIDES.) I wish you health, Theuropides, and am glad that you’ve got back safe from abroad. You must dine here with us to-day. Do so.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Vbi somno sepelivi omnem atque édormivi crapulam,
Philolaches venisse ⟨dixit⟩ mihi suom peregre huc patrem
quoque modo hominem ad⟨venientem⟩ servos ludificatus sit,
ait se metuere in conspe⟨ctum sui patris pr⟩ocedere.
nunc ego de sodalitate solus sum orator datus,
qui a patre eius conciliarem pacem. átque eccum optime.
iubeo te salvere et salvos cum advenis, Theopropides,
peregre, gaudeo. hic apud nos hodie cenes, sic face.

[¶235] THEUROPIDES:
Callidamates, may the Gods bless you. For your dinner I offer you my thanks.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Callidamates, dei te ament. de cena facio gratiam.

[¶236] CALLIDAMATES:
Will you come then?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Quin venis?

[¶237] TRANIO: (To THEUROPIDES.)
Do promise him; I’ll go for you, if you don’t like.

> Latin: Tranio:
Promitte: ego ibo pro te, si tibi non libet.

[¶238] THEUROPIDES:
Whip-scoundrel, laughing at me still?

> Latin: Theopropides:
Verbero, etiam inrides?

[¶239] TRANIO:
What, because I say that I’ll go to dinner for you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quian me pro te ire ad cenam autumo?

[¶240] THEUROPIDES:
But you shan’t go. I’ll have you carried to the cross, as you deserve.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Non enim ibis. ego ferare faxo, ut meruisti, in crucem.
Callidamates:
Age mitte ista ac te ad me ad cenam dic venturum.

[¶241] TRANIO:
Come, let this pass, and say that I shall go to the dinner.
Why are you silent?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid taces?

[¶242] CALLIDAMATES: (to TRANIO.)
But why, you greatest of simpletons, have you taken refuge at the altar?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Sed tu, istuc quid confugisti in aram?

[¶243] TRANIO:
He frightened me on his arrival. (To THEUROPIDES.) Say now, what I have done amiss. Look, now there’s an umpire for us both; come, discuss the matter.

> Latin: Tranio:
Inscitissimus
adveniens perterruit me. loquere nunc quid fecerim:
nunc utrisque disceptator eccum adest, age disputa.

[¶244] THEUROPIDES:
I say that you have corrupted my son.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Filium corrupisse aio te meum.

[¶245] TRANIO:
Only listen. I confess that he has done amiss; that he has given freedom to his mistress; that in your absence
he has borrowed money at interest; that, I admit, is squandered away. Has he done anything different to what sons of the noblest families do?

> Latin: Tranio:
Ausculta modo.
fateor potavisse, amicam liberasse absente te,
faenore argentum sumpsisse; id esse absumptum praedico.
numquid aliud fecit nisi quod [faciunt] summis gnati generibus?

[¶246] THEUROPIDES:
Upon my faith, I must be on my guard with you; you are too clever a pleader.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Hercle mihi tecum cavendum est, nimis qui es orator catus.

[¶247] CALLIDAMATES:
Just let me be umpire in this matter. (TO TRANIO.) Get up; I’ll seat myself there.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Sine me dum istuc iudicare. surge, ego isti adsedero.

[¶248] THEUROPIDES:
By all means: take the management of this dispute to yourself.
(Pushes him to one side of the altar.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Maxime, accipito hanc ⟨tute⟩ ad te litem.

[¶249] TRANIO:
Why, this is surely a trick.
Make me, then, not to be in a fright, and yourself to be in a fright in my stead.

> Latin: Tranio:
Enim istic captio est.
fac ego ne metuam … ut tu meam timeas vicem.

[¶250] THEUROPIDES:
I consider now everything of trifling consequence, compared with the way in which he has fooled me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Iam minoris ⟨omnia alia fa⟩cio, prae quam quibus modis
me ludificatust.

[¶251] TRANIO:
I’ faith,’twas cleverly done, and I rejoice that it was done. Those who have white heads ought at that age to be wiser.

> Latin: Tranio:
Bene hercle factum, et factum gaudeo:
sapere istac aetate oportet, qui sunt capite candido.

[¶252] THEUROPIDES:
What am I now to do
if my friend Demipho or Philonides—

> Latin: Theopropides:
Quid ego nunc faciam?

[¶253] TRANIO:
Tell them in what way your servant made a fool of you. You would be affording most capital plots for Comedies.

> Latin: Tranio:
Si amicus Diphilo aut Philemoni es,
dicito eis, quo pacto tuos te servos ludificaverit:
optumas frustrationes dederis in comoediis.

[¶254] CALLIDAMATES:
Hold your tongue awhile; let me speak in my turn.—Listen.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Tace parumper, sine vicissim me loqui, ausculta.

[¶255] THEUROPIDES:
By all means.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Licet.

[¶256] CALLIDAMATES:
In the first place of all then, you know that I am the companion of your son;
he has gone to my house, for he is ashamed to come into your presence, because he knows that you are aware what he has done. Now, I beseech you, do pardon his simplicity and youthfulness. He is your son; you know that this age is wont to play such pranks; whatever he has done, he has done in company with me. We have acted wrong:
the interest, principal, and all the sum at which the mistress was purchased, all of it we will find, and will contribute together, at our own cost, not yours.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Omnium primum sodalem me esse scis gnato tuo.
is adiit me, nam eum prodire pudet in conspectum tuom
propterea quia fecit quae te scire scit. nunc te obsecro,
stultitiae adulescentiaeque éius ignoscas: tuost;
scis solere illanc aetatem tali ludo ludere.
quidquid fecit, una nobiscum fécit: nos deliquimus.
faenus, sortem sumptumque omnem, quí amica ⟨empta⟩ est, omnia
nos dabimus, nos conferemus, nostro sumptu, non tuo.

[¶257] THEUROPIDES:
No mediator could have come to me more able to influence me than yourself. I am neither angry with him, nor do I blame him for anything: nay more, in my presence, wench on, drink, do what you please.
If he’s ashamed of this, that he has been extravagant, I have sufficient satisfaction.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Non potuit venire orator magis ad me impetrabilis
quam tu; neque ⟨iam⟩ illi sum iratus neque quicquam suscenseo.
immo me praesente amato bibito, facito quod lubet:
si hoc pudet, fecisse sumptum, supplicí habeo satis.

[¶258] CALLIDAMATES:
I’m quite ashamed myself

> Latin: Callidamates:
Dispudet.

[¶259] TRANIO:
He grants pardon thus far; now then, what is to become of me?

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Post⟩ istam veniam quid me fiet nunciam?

[¶260] THEUROPIDES:
Filth, tied up as you hang, you shall be beaten with stripes.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Verberibus caedere multum pendens.

[¶261] TRANIO:
Even though I am ashamed?

> Latin: Tranio:
Tamen etsi pudet?

[¶262] THEUROPIDES:
Upon my faith, I’ll be the death of you, if I live!

> Latin: Theopropides:
Interimam hercle ego ⟨te⟩, si vivo.

[¶263] CALLIDAMATES:
Make this pardon general; do, pray, forgive Tranio this offence, for my sake.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Fac istam cunctam gratiam:
Tranioni amitte quaeso hanc noxiam causa mea.

[¶264] THEUROPIDES:
I would more readily put up with your obtaining any other request of me than that I should forbear sending to perdition this fellow for his most villanous doings.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Aliud quidvis impetrari perferam a me facilius,
quam ut non égo istum pro suis factis pessumis pessum premam.

[¶265] CALLIDAMATES:
Pray, do pardon him.
TRANIO:
Do pardon me?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Mitte quaeso.

[¶266] THEUROPIDES:
Look there, don’t you see how the villain sticks there?
(Pointing to the altar.)

> Latin: Theopropides:
Istumne ⟨ut mittam⟩? viden ut astat furcifer?

[¶267] CALLIDAMATES:
Tranio, do be quiet, if you are in your senses.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Tranio, quiesce, si sapis.

[¶268] THEUROPIDES:
Only do you be quiet in urging this matter. I’ll subdue him with stripes, so that he shall be quiet.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Tu quiesce hanc rem modo
petere: ego illum, ut sit quietus, verberibus subegero.
Tranio:
Nihil opust profecto.

[¶269] CALLIDAMATES:
Really, there is no need.
Come now, do allow yourself to be prevailed upon.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Áge iam, sine te ⟨hoc⟩ exorarier.

[¶270] THEUROPIDES:
I wish you would not request me.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nolo ores.

[¶271] CALLIDAMATES:
Troth now, I do entreat you.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Quaeso hercle.

[¶272] THEUROPIDES:
I wish you would not request me, I tell you.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Nolo, inquam, ores.

[¶273] CALLIDAMATES:
It’s in vain you wish me not; only do grant this one pardon for his offence, pray, for my sake, I do entreat you.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Nequiquam nevis.
hanc modo noxiam unam, quaeso, ⟨missam⟩ fac causa mea.

[¶274] TRANIO:
Why make this difficulty? As if to-morrow I shouldn’t be very soon committing some other fault; then, both of them, both this one and that, you’ll be able to punish soundly.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid gravaris? quasi non cras iam commeream aliam noxiam:
ibi utrúmque, et hoc et illud, poteris ulcisci probe.

[¶275] CALLIDAMATES:
Do let me prevail upon you.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Sine te exorem.

[¶276] THEUROPIDES:
Well then, have it so; begone, unpunished! (TRANIO jumps down from the altar.) There now, (pointing to CALLIDAMATES) return him thanks for it. (Coming forward.) Spectators, this Play is finished; grant us your applause.

> Latin: Theopropides:
Age abi, abi impune. em huic habeto gratiam.
spectatores, fabula haec est acta, vos plausum date.