---
title: "The Haunted House · Mostellaria"
author: "Plautus"
translator: "Henry Thomas Riley"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
section: 1 of 3
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1/
cite: "Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley, The Haunted House · Mostellaria, section 1. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1/"
---

# The Haunted House · Mostellaria

*Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley*

A slave keeps his master out of the house by swearing it is haunted.

> Latin: ed. Friedrich Leo, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi0119.phi013, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Thomas Riley, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi0119.phi013.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (line numbers), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 1. Lines 1–430

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-mostellaria/1/#p-N

[¶0] (Enter, from the house of THEUROPIDES, GRUMIO, pushing out TRANIO.
GRUMIO:
Get out of the kitchen, will you; out of it, you whip-scoundrel, who are giving me your cavilling talk amid the platters; march out of the house, you ruin of your master. Upon my faith, if I only live, I’ll be soundly revenged upon you in the country. Get out, I say, you steam of the kitchen.
Why are you skulking thus?

> Latin: Grvmio:
Exi e culina sis foras, mastigia,
qui mi inter patinas exhibes argutias.
egredere, erilis permities, ex aedibus.
ego pol te ruri, si vivam, ulciscar probe.
exi, inquam, nidor, e culina. quid lates?

[¶1] TRANIO:
Why the plague are you making this noise here before the house? Do you fancy yourself to be in the country? Get out of the house; be off into the country. Go and hang yourself. Get away from the door.
(Striking him.) There now, was it that you wanted?

> Latin: Tranio:
quid tibi, malum, hic ante aedis clamitatiost?
an ruri censes te esse? abscede ab aedibus.
abi rús, abi díerecte, abscede ab ianua.
em, hocíne volebas?

[¶2] GRUMIO: (running away.)
I’m undone! Why are you beating me?

> Latin: Grvmio:
Perii. cur me verberas?

[¶3] TRANIO:
Because you want it.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quia vivis.

[¶4] GRUMIO:
I must endure it. Only let the old gentleman return home; only let him come safe home, whom you are devouring in his absence.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Patiar. sine modo adveniat senex.
sine modo venire salvom, quem absentem comes.

[¶5] TRANIO:
You don’t say what’s either likely or true, you blockhead, as to any one devouring a person in his absence.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nec veri simile loquere nec verum, frutex,
comesse quemquam ut quisquam absentem possiet.

[¶6] GRUMIO:
Indeed, you town wit, you minion of the mob, do you throw the country in my teeth? Really, Tranio, I do believe that you feel sure that before long you’ll be handed over to the mill. Within a short period, i’ faith, Tranio, you’ll full soon be adding to the iron-bound race in the country.
While you choose to, and have the opportunity, drink on, squander his property, corrupt my master’s son, a most worthy young man, drink night and day, live like Greeks, make purchase of mistresses, give them their freedom, feed parasites, feast yourselves sumptuously.
Was it thus that the old gentleman enjoined you when he went hence abroad? Is it after this fashion that he will find his property well husbanded? Do you suppose that this is the duty of a good servant, to be ruining both the estate and the son of his master? For I do consider him as ruined, when he devotes himself to these goings on.
A person, with whom not one of all the young men of Attica was before deemed equally frugal or more steady, the same is now carrying off the palm in the opposite direction. Through your management and your tutoring has that been done.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Tu urbanus vero scurra, deliciae popli,
rus mihi tu obiectas? sane hoc, credo, Tranio,
quod te in pistrinum scis actutum tradier.
cis hercle paucas tempestates, Tranio,
augebis ruri numerum, genus ferratile.
nunc, dum tibi lúbet licetque, pota, perde rem,
corrumpe erilem ádulescentem óptumum;
dies noctesque bibite, pergraecamini,
amicas emite liberate, pascite
parasitos, obsonate pollucibiliter.
haecine mandavit tibi, quom peregre hinc it, senex?
hocine modo hic rem curatam offendet suam?
hocine boni esse officium servi existumas,
ut eri sui corrumpat et rem et filium?
nam ego illúm corruptum duco, quom his factis studet;
quo nemo adaeque iuventute ex omni Attica
antehac est habitus parcus nec magis continens,
is nunc in aliam partem palmam possidet.
virtute id factum tua et magisterio tuo.

[¶7] TRANIO:
What the plague business have you with me or with what I do?
Prithee, haven’t you got your cattle in the country for you to look to? I choose to drink, to intrigue, to keep my wenches; this I do at the peril of my own back, and not of yours

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid tibi, malum, me aut quid ego agam curatiost?
an ruri quaeso non sunt, quos cures, bovis?
lubet potare, amare, scorta ducere.
mei tergi facio haec, non tui fiducia.

[¶8] GRUMIO:
Then with what assurance he does talk! (Turning away in disgust.) Faugh!

> Latin: Grvmio:
Quam confidenter loquitur.

[¶9] TRANIO:
But may Jupiter and all the Deities confound you; you stink of garlick,
you filth unmistakeable, you clod, you he-goat, you pig-sty, you mixture of dog and she-goat.

> Latin: Tranio:
At te Iuppiter
dique omnes perdant, fu, oboluisti alium.
germana inluvies, rusticus, hircus, hara suis,
caeno κοπρὼν commixte.

[¶10] GRUMIO:
What would you have to be done? It isn’t all that can smell of foreign perfumes, if you smell of them; or that can take their places at table above their master,
or live on such exquisite dainties as you live upon. Do you keep to yourself those turtle-doves, that fish, and poultry; let me enjoy my lot upon garlick diet. You are fortunate; I unlucky. It must be endured.
Let my good fortune be awaiting me, your bad yourself.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Quid vis fieri?
non omnes possunt olere unguenta exotica,
si tú oles, neque superiores accumbere
neque tam facetis quam tu vivis victibus.
tu tíbi istos habeas turtures piscis avis,
sine me aliato fungi fortunas meas.
tu fortunatus esfortunatu's, ego miser: patiunda sunt.
meum bonum me, te tuom maneat malum.

[¶11] TRANIO:
You seem, Grumio, as though you envied me, because I enjoy myself and you are wretched. It is quite my due. It’s proper for me to make love, and for you to feed the cattle; for me to fare handsomely, you in a miserable way.

> Latin: Tranio:
Quasi invidere mi hoc videre, Grumio,
quia mihi bene est et tibi male est; dignissumumst:
decet me amare et te bubulcitarier,
me victitare pulchre, te miseris modis.

[¶12] GRUMIO:
O riddle for the executioner, as I guess it will turn out; they’ll be so pinking you with goads, as you carry your gibbet along the streets one day, as soon as ever the old gentleman returns here.

> Latin: Grvmio:
O carnuficium cribrum, quod credo fore,
ita te forabunt patibulatum per vias
stimulis ⟨carnufices⟩, si huc reveniat senex.

[¶13] TRANIO:
How do you know whether that mayn’t happen to yourself sooner than to me?

> Latin: Tranio:
Qui scis, an tibi istuc evenat prius quam mihi?

[¶14] GRUMIO:
Because I have never deserved it; you have deserved it, and you now deserve it.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Quia numquam merui, tu meruisti et nunc meres.

[¶15] TRANIO:
Do cut short the trouble of your talking, unless you wish a heavy mischance to befall you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Orationis operam compendi face,
nisi te mala re magna mactari cupis.

[¶16] GRUMIO:
Are you going to give me the tares for me to take for the cattle? If you are not, give me the money. Go on, still persist in the way in which you’ve commenced! Drink, live like Greeks,
eat, stuff yourselves, slaughter your fatlings!

> Latin: Grvmio:
Ervom daturin estis, bubus quod feram?
date, si non estis. agite, porro pergite
quoniam occepistis: bibite, pergraecamini,
este, ecfercite vos, saginam caedite.

[¶17] TRANIO:
Hold your tongue, and be off into the country; I intend to go to the Piraeus to get me some fish for the evening. To-morrow I’ll make some one bring you the tares to the farm. What’s the matter? Why now are you staring at me, gallows-bird?

> Latin: Tranio:
Tace atque abi rús. ego ire in Piraeum volo,
in vesperum parare piscatum mihi.
ervom tibi aliquis cras faxo ad villam adferat.
quid est? quíd tu me nunc optuere, furcifer?

[¶18] GRUMIO:
I’ faith, I’ve an idea that will be your own title before long.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Pol tibi istuc credo nomen actutum fore.

[¶19] TRANIO:
So long as it is as it is, in the meantime I’ll put up with that “before long.”

> Latin: Tranio:
Dum interea sic sit, istuc actutum sino.

[¶20] GRUMIO:
That’s the way; and understand this one thing, that that which is disagreable comes much more speedily than that which you wish for.

> Latin: Grvmio:
Ita est. sed unum hoc scito: nimio celerius
veniet quod noles quam illud, quod cupide petas.

[¶21] TRANIO:
Don’t you be annoying; now then, away with you into the country, and betake yourself off.
Don’t you deceive yourself, henceforth you shan’t be causing me any impediment. (Exit.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Molestus ne sis nunciam, i rus, te amove.
ne tu [erres] hercle praeterhac mihi non facies moram.—

[¶22] GRUMIO: (to himself.)
Is he really gone? Not to care one straw for what I’ve said! O immortal Gods, I do implore your aid, do cause this old gentleman of ours, who has now been three years absent from here, to return hither as soon as possible, before everything
is gone, both house and land. Unless he does return here, remnants to last for a few months only are left. Now I’ll be off to the country; but look! I see my master’s son, one who has been corrupted from having been a most excellent young man. (Exit.)

> Latin: Grvmio:
Satin abiit neque quod dixi flocci existumat?
pro di immortales, obsecro vostram fidem,
facite, huc ut redeat noster quam primum senex,
triennium qui iam hinc abest, prius quam omnia
periere, et aedis et ager; qui nisi huc redit,
paucorum mensum sunt relictae reliquiae.
nunc rus abibo. nam eccum erilem filium
video, corruptum ex adulescente optumo.—

[¶23] (Enter PHILOLACHES, from the house of THEUROPIDES.)
PHILOLACHES: (to himself.)
I’ve often thought and long reflected on it,
and in my breast have held many a debate, and in my heart (if any heart I have) have revolved this matter, and long discussed it, to what thing I’m to consider man as like, and what form he has when he is born?
I’ve now discovered this likeness. I think a man is like unto a new house when he is born. I’ll give my proofs of this fact. (To the AUDIENCE.) And does not this seem to you like the truth? But so I’ll manage that you shall think it is so.
Beyond a doubt I’ll convince you that it is true what I say. And this yourselves, I’m sure, when you have heard my words, will say is no otherwise than just as I now affirm that it is. Listen while I repeat my proofs of this fact;
I want you to be equally knowing with myself upon this matter. As soon as ever a house is built up, nicely polished off, carefully erected, and according to rule, people praise the architect and approve of the house, they take from it each one a model for himself. Each one has something similar, quite at his own expense; they do not spare their pains.
But when a worthless, lazy, dirty, negligent fellow betakes himself thither with an idle family, then is it imputed as a fault to the house, while a good house is being kept in bad repair. And this is often the case; a storm comes on and breaks the tiles and gutters; then
a careless owner takes no heed to put up others. A shower comes on and streams down the walls; the rafters admit the rain; the weather rots the labours of the builder; then the utility of the house becomes diminished; and yet this is not the fault of the builder. But a great part
of mankind have contracted this habit of delay; if anything can be repaired by means of money, they are always still putting it off, and don’t … do it until the walls come tumbling down; then the whole house has to be built anew. These instances from buildings I’ve mentioned; and now I wish to inform you how you are to suppose that men are like houses.
In the first place then, the parents are the builders-up of the children, and lay the foundation for the children; they raise them up, they carefully train them to strength, and that they may be good both for service and for view before the public. They spare not either their own pains or their cost,
nor do they deem expense in that to be an expense. They refine them, teach them literature, the ordinances, the laws; at their own cost and labour they struggle, that others may wish for their own children to be like to them. When they repair to the army, they then find them some relation of theirs as a protector.
At that moment they pass out of the builder’s hands. One year’s pay has now been earned; at that period, then, a sample is on view how the building will turn out. But I was always discreet and virtuous, just as long as I was under the management of the builder.
After I had left him to follow the bent of my own inclinations, at once I entirely spoiled the labours of the builders. Idleness came on; that was my storm; on its arrival, upon me it brought down hail and showers, which overthrew my modesty and the bounds of virtue, and untiled them for me in an instant.
After that I was neglectful to cover in again; at once passion like a torrent entered my heart; it flowed down even unto my breast, and soaked through my heart. Now both property, credit, fair fame, virtue, and honor
have forsaken me; by usage have I become much worse, and, i’ faith (so rotten are these rafters of mine with moisture), I do not seem to myself to be able possibly to patch up my house to prevent it from falling down totally once for all, from perishing from the foundation, and from no one being able to assist me. My heart pains me, when I reflect how I now am and how I once was,
than whom in youthful age not one there was more active in the arts of exercise, with the quoit, the javelin, the ball, racing, arms, and horses. I then lived a joyous life; in frugality and hardihood I was an example to others;
all, even the most deserving, took a lesson from me for themselves. Now that I’m become worthless, to that, indeed, have I hastened through the bent of my inclinations. (He stands apart.)

> Latin: Philolaches:
Recórdatus múltum et diú cogitávi
argúmentaque ín pectus ínstitui multa
ego, átque in meó corde, si ést quod mihí cor,
eám rem volútavi et diú disputávi,
hominém cuius réi, quandó natus esset,
similem ésse arbitrárer simulácrumque habére:
id répperi iam exémplum.
novárum aedium ésse arbitrór similem ego hóminem,
quandó natus ést. ei rei argúmenta dícam.
[atque hóc haud vidétur verí simile vóbis,]
[at ego id faciam esse ita ut credatis.]
[profécto ita esse út praedicó vera víncam.]
atque hóc vosmet ípsi, sció, proinde utí nunc
ego ésse autumó, quando dícta audiétis
mea, haud áliter id dicétis.
auscúltate, argúmenta dúm dico ad hánc rem:
simúl gnarurís vos volo ésse hanc rem mécum.
aedés quom extempló sunt parátae, expolítae,
factaé probe examússim,
laudánt fabrum atque aedés probant, sibi quísque inde exemplum éxpetunt,
sibi quísque similis vólt suas, sumptum óperam ⟨non⟩ parcúnt suam.
átque ubi illo ímmigrat néquam homo, indíligens
cúm pigra fámilia, immúndus, instrénuos,
hic iam aédibus vitium ádditur, bonaé cum curantúr male;
átque illud saépe fit: témpestas venit,
cónfringit tégulas ímbricesque: ibi
dóminus indíligens réddere aliás nevolt;
vénit imber, pérlavit párietes, pérpluont,
tígna putéfacit, pérdit operám fabri:
néquior fáctus iam est úsus aedium.
átque ⟨ea⟩ haud ést fabri cúlpa, sed mágna pars
mórem hunc induxérunt: si quid númmo sarcirí potest,
úsque mantánt neque id fáciunt, donicum
párietes ruont: aédificantur aédes totae dénuo.
haec árgumenta ego aédificiis díxi; nunc etiám volo
dicére, ut homines aédium esse símilis arbitrémini.
primúmdum paréntes fabrí liberúm sunt:
ei fúndamentúm substruont liberórum;
extóllunt, paránt sedulo ín firmitátem
et ut in usum boni et in speciem†
popló sint sibíque, haud matériae repárcunt
nec súmptus ibí sumptuí esse dúcunt;
expóliunt: docént litterás, iura léges,
sumptú suo et labore
nitúntur, ut alií sibi esse illórum similis éxpetant.
ád legionem cum íta ⟨paratos míttunt⟩, adminiclum eís danunt
tum iam, áliquem cognatúm suom.
eátenus. abeunt á fabris. únum ubi emeritum est stipendium,
igitúr tum specimen cérnitur, quo evéniat aedificátio.
nám ego ad illúd frugi usque ét probus fui,
ín fabrorúm potestáte dum fui.
póstea quom ímmigravi íngenium in meum,
pérdidi operám fabrorum ílico oppido.
vénit ignávia, ea míhi tempestás fuit,
mi ádventu suo grándinem [imbremque] attulit;
haéc verecúndiam mi ét virtutís modum
déturbavít detexítque a me ilico;
póstilla optígere me néglegens fui.
contínuo pro imbre amór advenit [in cor meum],
is úsque in pectus pérmanavit, pérmadefecit cór meum.
núnc simul rés, fides, fáma, virtús, decus
déseruerunt: égo sum in usu fáctus nimio néquior.
atque édepol ita haec tigna úmide ⟨iam⟩ pútent: non videór mihi
sarcíre posse aedés meas, quin tótae perpetuaé ruant,
cum fúndamento périerint nec quísquam esse auxilió queat.
cór dolet, cum scio ut núnc sum atque ut fui,
quó neque indústrior dé iuventúte erat
⟨quisquam nec clárior⟩ árte gymnástica:
dísco, hastís, pila, cúrsu, armís, equo
víctitabám volup,
pársimonia ét duritia díscipulinae aliís eram,
óptumi quique éxpetebant á me doctrinám sibi.
núnc, postquam nihilí sum, id vero meópte ingenio répperi.

[¶24] (Enter PHILEMATITUM and SCAPHA, with all the requisites for a toilet.)
PHILEMATIUM:
On my word, for this long time I’ve not bathed in cold water with more delight than just now; nor do I think that I ever was, my dear Scapha, more thoroughly cleansed than now.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Iam prídem ecastor frígida non lávi magis lubénter
nec quom me melius, mea Scapha, rear esse deficatam.

[¶25] SCAPHA:
May the upshot of everything be unto you like a plenteous year’s harvest.

> Latin: Scapha:
Eventus rebus omnibus, velut horno messis magna
fuit.

[¶26] PHILEMATIUM:
What has this harvest got to do with my bathing?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quíd ea messis attinet ad meam lavationem?

[¶27] SCAPHA:
Not a bit more than your bathing has to do with the harvest.

> Latin: Scapha:
Nihilo plus quam lavatio tua ad messim.

[¶28] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
O beauteous Venus, this is that storm of mine which stripped off all the modesty with which I was roofed; through which Desire and Cupid poured their shower into my breast; and never since have I been able to roof it in.
Now are my walls soaking in my heart; this building is utterly undone.

> Latin: Philolaches:
O Venus venusta,
haec illa est tempestas mea, mihi quae modestiam omnem
detexit, tectus qua fui; tum mihi Amor et Cupido
in pectus perpluit meum, neque iam umquam optigere possum:
madent iam in corde parietes, periere haec oppido aedis.

[¶29] PHILEMATIUM:
Do look, my Scapha, there’s a dear, whether this dress quite becomes me. I wish to please Philolaches my protector, the apple of my eye.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Contempla, amabo, mea Scapha, satin haec me vestis deceat.
volo mé placere Philolachi, meo ocello, meo patrono.

[¶30] SCAPHA:
Nay but, you set yourself off to advantage with pleasing manners, inasmuch as you yourself are pleasing. The lover isn’t in love with a woman’s dress, but with that which stuffs out the dress.

> Latin: Scapha:
Quin tu te exornas moribus lepidis, quom lepida tute es?
non vestem amatores amant [mulieris], sed vestis fartim.

[¶31] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
So may the Gods bless me, Scapha is waggish; the hussy’s quite knowing. How cleverly she understands all matters, the maxims of lovers too!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ita me di ament, lepidast Scapha, sapit scelesta multum.
ut lepide omnes mores tenet sententiasque amantum.

[¶32] PHILEMATIUM:
Well now?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quid nunc?

[¶33] SCAPHA:
What is it?

> Latin: Scapha:
Quid est?

[¶34] PHILEMATIUM:
Why look at me and examine, how this becomes me.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quin me aspice et contempla, ut haec me deceat.

[¶35] SCAPHA:
Thanks to your good looks, it happens that whatever you put on becomes you.

> Latin: Scapha:
Virtute formae id evenit, te ut deceat quidquid habeas.

[¶36] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Now then, for that expression, Scapha, I’ll make you some present or other to-day,
and I won’t allow you to have praised her for nothing who is so pleasing to me.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ergo ob istuc verbum te, Scapha, donabo ego hodie aliqui,
neque patiar te istanc gratiis laudasse, quae placet mi.

[¶37] PHILEMATIUM:
I don’t want you to flatter me.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Nolo ego te adsentari mihi.

[¶38] SCAPHA:
Really you are a very simple woman. Come now, would you rather be censured undeservedly, than be praised with truth? Upon my faith, for my own part, even though undeservedly, I’d much rather be praised than be found fault with with reason, or that other people should laugh at my appearance.

> Latin: Scapha:
Nimis tú quidem stulta es mulier.
eho, mavis vituperarier falso quam vero extolli?
equidem pol vel falso tamen laudari multo malo,
quam vero culpari aut meam speciem alios inridere.

[¶39] PHILEMATIUM:
I love the truth; I wish the truth to be told me; I detest a liar.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Ego verum amo, verum volo dici mihi: mendacem odi.

[¶40] SCAPHA:
So may you love me, and so may your Philolaches love you, how charming you are.

> Latin: Scapha:
Ita tu me ames, ita Philolaches tuos té amet, ut venusta es.

[¶41] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
How say you, you hussy? In what words did you adjure? “So may I love her?” Why wasn’t “So may she love me” added as well? I revoke the present.
What I just now promised you is done for; you have lost the present.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ais, scelesta? quo modo adiurasti? ita ego istam amarem?
quid istaéc me, id cur non additum est? infecta dona facio.
periisti: quod promiseram tibi donum, perdidisti.

[¶42] SCAPHA:
Troth, for my part I am surprised that you, a person so knowing, so clever, and so well educated, are not aware that you are acting foolishly.

> Latin: Scapha:
Equidem pol miror tam catam, tam docilem te et bene doctam
nunc stultam stulte facere.

[¶43] PHILEMATIUM:
Then give me your advice, I beg, if I have done wrong in anything.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quin mone quaéso, si quid erro.

[¶44] SCAPHA:
I’ faith, you certainly do wrong, in setting your mind upon him alone, in fact, and humouring him in particular in this way and slighting other men.
It’s the part of a married woman, and not of courtesans, to be devoted to a single lover.

> Latin: Scapha:
Tu ecastor erras, quae quidem illum expectes unum atque illi
morem praecipue sic geras atque alios asperneris.
matronae, non meretricium est unum inservire amantem.

[¶45] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
O Jupiter! Why, what pest is this that has befallen my house? May all the Gods and Goddesses destroy me in the worst of fashions, if I don’t kill this old hag with thirst, and hunger, and cold.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Pro Iuppiter, nam quod malum versatur meae domi illud?
di deaeque me omnes pessumis exemplis interficiant,
nisi ego illam anum interfecero siti fameque atque algu.

[¶46] PHILEMATIUM:
I don’t want you, Scapha, to be giving me bad advice.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Nolo ego mihi male te, Scapha, praecipere.

[¶47] SCAPHA:
You are clearly a simpleton, in thinking that he’ll for everlasting be your friend and well-wisher. I warn you of that; he’ll forsake you by reason of age and satiety.

> Latin: Scapha:
Stulta es plane,
quae illum tibi aeternum putes fore amicum et benevolentem.
moneo ego te: te ille deseret aetate et satietate.

[¶48] PHILEMATIUM:
I hope not.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Non spero.

[¶49] SCAPHA:
Things which you don’t hope happen more frequently than things which you do hope. In fine, if you cannot be persuaded by words to believe this to be the truth, judge of my words from facts; consider this instance, who I now am, and who I once was.
No less than your are now, was I once beloved, and I devoted myself to one, who, faith, when with age this head changed its hue, forsook and deserted me. Depend on it, the same will happen to yourself.

> Latin: Scapha:
Insperata accidunt magis saépe quam quae speres.
postremo, si dictis nequis perduci, ut vera haec credas
mea dicta, ex factis nosce rem. vides quaé sim; et quae fui ante.
nihilo ego quam nunc tu … amata sum; átque uni modo gessi morem:
qui pol me, ubi aetate hoc caput colorem commutavit,
reliquit deseruitque me. tibi idem futurum credo.

[¶50] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I can scarcely withhold myself from flying at the eyes of this mischief-maker.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vix comprimor, quin involem illi in oculos stimulatrici.

[¶51] PHILEMATIUM:
I am of opinion that I ought to keep myself alone devoted to him,
since to myself alone has he given freedom for himself alone.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Solam ille me soli sibi suo ⟨sumptu⟩ liberavit:
illi me soli censeo esse oportere opsequentem.

[¶52] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
O ye immortal Gods! what a charming woman, and of a disposition how chaste! By heaven,’tis excellently done, and I’m rejoiced at it, that it is for her sake I’ve got nothing left.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Pro di immortales, mulierem lepidam et pudico ingenio.
bene hercle factum et gaudeo mihi nihil esse huius causa.

[¶53] SCAPHA:
On my word you really are silly.

> Latin: Scapha:
Inscita ecastor tu quidem es.

[¶54] PHILEMATIUM:
For what reason?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quapropter?

[¶55] SCAPHA:
Because you care for this, whether he loves you.

> Latin: Scapha:
Quae istuc ⟨cures⟩,
ut te ille amet.

[¶56] PHILEMATIUM:
Prithee, why should I not care for it?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cur obsecro non curem?

[¶57] SCAPHA:
You now are free.
You’ve now got what you wanted; if he didn’t still love you, as much money as he gave for your liberty, he’d lose.

> Latin: Scapha:
Libera es iam.
tu iam quod quaerebas habes: ille té nisi amabit ultro,
id pro tuo capite quod dedit perdiderit tantum argenti.

[¶58] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Heavens, I’m a dead man if I don’t torture her to death after the most shocking fashion. That evil-persuading enticer to vice is corrupting this damsel.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Perii hercle, ni ego illam pessumis exemplis enicasso.
illa hanc corrumpit mulierem malesuada † vitilena.

[¶59] PHILOLACHES:
Scapha, I can never return him sufficient thanks for what he deserves of me;
don’t you be persuading me to esteem him less.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Numquam ego illi possum gratiam referre ut meritust de me.
Scapha, id tu mihi ne suadeas, ut illúm minoris pendam.

[¶60] SCAPHA:
But take care and reflect upon this one thing, if you devote yourself to him alone, while now you are at this youthful age, you’ll be complaining to no purpose in your aged years.

> Latin: Scapha:
At hoc únum facito cogites: si illum inservibis solum
dum tibi nunc haec aetatulast, in sénecta male querere.

[¶61] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I could wish myself this instant changed into a quinsy, that I might seize the throat of that old witch, and put an end to the wicked mischief-maker.

> Latin: Philolaches:
In anginam ego nunc me velim verti, ut veneficae illi
fauces prehendam atque enicem scelestam stimulatricem.

[¶62] PHILEMATIUM:
It befits me now to have the same grateful feelings since I obtained it, as formerly before I acquired it, when I used to lavish caresses upon him.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Eundem ánimum oportet nunc mihi esse gratum, ut impetravi,
atque olim, prius quam id extudi, quom illi subblandiebar.

[¶63] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
May the Gods do towards me what they please, if for that speech I don’t make you free over again, and if I don’t torture Scapha to death.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Divi me faciant quod volunt, ni ob istam orationem
te liberasso denuo et ni Scapham enicasso.

[¶64] SCAPHA:
If you are quite assured that you will have a provision to the end,
and that this lover will be your own for life, I think that you ought to devote yourself to him alone, and assume the character of a wife.

> Latin: Scapha:
Si tibi sat acceptum est fore tibi victum sempiternum
atque illum amatorem tibi proprium futurum in vita,
soli gerundum censeo morem et capiundas crines.

[¶65] PHILEMATIUM:
Just as a person’s character is, he’s in the habit of finding means accordingly; if I keep a good character for myself I shall be rich enough.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Vt fama est homini, exin solet pecuniam invenire.
ego si bonam famam mihi servasso, sat ero dives.

[¶66] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
By my troth, since selling there must be, my father shall be sold much sooner
than, while I’m alive, I’ll ever permit you to be in want or go a-begging.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Siquidem hércle vendundust pater, venibit multo potius,
quam te me vivo umquam sinam egere aut mendicare.

[¶67] SCAPHA:
What’s to become of the rest of those who are in love with you?

> Latin: Scapha:
Quid illís futurum est ceteris qui té amant?

[¶68] PHILEMATIUM:
They’ll love me the more when they see me displaying gratitude to one who has done me services.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Magis amabunt,
quom ⟨me⟩ videbunt gratiam referre ⟨bene mere⟩nti.

[¶69] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I do wish that news were brought me now that my father’s dead, that I might disinherit myself of my property, and that she might be my heir.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vtinam nunc meus emortuos pater ad me nuntietur,
ut ego exheredem meis bonis me faciam atque haec sit heres.

[¶70] SCAPHA:
This property of his will certainly soon be at an end; day and night there’s eating and drinking, and no one displays thriftiness;’tis downright cramming.

> Latin: Scapha:
Iam ista quidem absumpta res erit: dies nóctesque estur bibitur,
neque quisquam parsimoniam adhibet: sagina plane est.

[¶71] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I’ faith, I’m determined to make trial on yourself for the first to be thrifty; for you shall neither eat nor drink anything at my house for the next ten days.

> Latin: Philolaches:
In te hercle certumst principe ut sim parcus experiri,
nam neque edes quicquam neque bibes apud me his decem diebus.

[¶72] PHILEMATIUM:
If you choose to say anything good about him, you shall be at liberty to say it;
if you speak otherwise than well, on my word you shall have a beating instantly.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Si quid tu in illum bene voles loqui, id loqui licebit:
nec recte si illi dixeris, iam ecastor vapulabis.

[¶73] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Upon my faith, if I had paid sacrifice to supreme Jove with that money which I gave for her liberty, never could I have so well employed it. Do see, how, from her very heart’s core, she loves me! Oh, I’m a fortunate man; I’ve liberated in her a patron to plead my cause for me.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Edepol si summo Ióvi bovi eo argénto sacruficassem,
pro illius capite quod dedi, numquam aeque id bene locassem.
videas eam medullitus me amare. oh, probus homo sum:
quae pro me causam diceret, patronum liberavi.

[¶74] SCAPHA:
I see that, compared with Philolaches, you disregard all other men; now, that on his account I mayn’t get a beating, I’ll agree with you in preference, if you are quite satisfied that he will always prove a friend to you.

> Latin: Scapha:
Video te nihili pendere prae Philolache omnis homines.
nunc, ne eius causa vapulem, tibi potius adsentabor.
[si acceptum sat habes, tibi fore illum amicum sempiternum.]

[¶75] PHILEMATIUM:
Give me the mirror, and the casket with my trinkets, directly, Scapha, that I may be quite dressed when Philolaches, my delight, comes here.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cédo mi speculum et cum ornamentis arculam actutum, Scapha,
ornata ut sim, quom huc adveniat Philolaches voluptas mea.

[¶76] SCAPHA:
A woman who neglects herself and her youthful age has occasion for a mirror; what need of a mirror have you, who yourself are in especial a mirror for a mirror.

> Latin: Scapha:
Mulier quae se suamque aetatem spernit, speculo ei usus est:
quid opust speculo tibi, quae tute speculo speculum es maxumum?

[¶77] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
For that expression, Scapha, that you mayn’t have said anything so pretty in vain, I’ll to-day give something for your savings—to you, my Philematium.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ob istuc verbum, ne nequiquam, Scapha, tam lepide dixeris,
dabo aliquid hodie peculi tibi, Philematium mea.

[¶78] PHILEMATIUM: (while SCAPHA is dressing her hair.)
Will you see that each hair is nicely arranged in its own place?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Suo quique loco (viden?) capillus satis compositust commode.

[¶79] SCAPHA:
When you yourself are so nice, do believe that your hair must be nice.

> Latin: Scapha:
Vbi tu commoda es, capillum commodum esse credito.

[¶80] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Out upon it! what worse thing can possibly be spoken of than this woman? Now the jade’s a flatterer, just now she was all contradictory.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vah, quid illá pote peius quicquam muliere memorarier?
nunc adsentatrix scelesta est, dudum adversatrix erat.

[¶81] PHILEMATIUM:
Hand me the ceruse.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cedo cerussam.

[¶82] SCAPHA:
Why, what need of ceruse have you?

> Latin: Scapha:
Quid cerussa opust nám?

[¶83] PHILEMATIUM:
To paint my cheeks with it.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Qui malas oblinam.

[¶84] SCAPHA:
On the same principle, you would want to be making ivory white with ink.

> Latin: Scapha:
Vna operá ebur atramento candefacere postules.

[¶85] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Cleverly said that, about the ink and the ivory! Bravo! I applaud you, Scapha.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Lepide dictum de atramento atque ebore. euge, plaudo Scaphae.

[¶86] PHILEMATIUM:
Well then, do you give me the rouge.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Tum tu igitur cedo purpurissum.

[¶87] SCAPHA:
I shan’t give it. You really are a clever one. Do you wish to patch up a most clever piece with new daubing? It’s not right that any paint should touch that person, neither ceruse, nor quince-ointment, nor any other wash.
Take the mirror, then. (Hands her the glass.)

> Latin: Scapha:
Non do. scita es tu quidem.
nova pictura interpolare vis opus lepidissimum?
non istanc aetatem oportet pigmentum ullum attingere,
neque cerussam neque melinum, neque aliam ullam offuciam.

[¶88] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Ah wretched me!—she gave the glass a kiss. I could much wish for a stone, with which to break the head of that glass.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cape igitur speculum.
Philolaches:
Ei mihi misero, savium speculo dedit.
nimis velim lapidem, qui ego illi speculo diminuam caput.

[¶89] SCAPHA:
Take the towel and wipe your hands.

> Latin: Scapha:
Linteum cape atque exterge tibi manus.

[¶90] PHILEMATIUM:
Why so, prithee?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quid ita, obsecro?

[¶91] SCAPHA:
As you’ve been holding the mirror, I’m afraid that your hands may smell of silver; lest Philolaches should suspect you’ve been receiving silver somewhere.

> Latin: Scapha:
Vt speculum tenuisti, metuo né olant argentum manus:
ne usquam argentum te accepisse suspicetur Philolaches.

[¶92] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
I don’t think that I ever did see any one procuress more cunning. How cleverly and artfully did it occur to the jade’s imagination about the mirror!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Non videor vidisse lenam callidiorem ullam alteras.
ut lepide atque astute in mentem venit de speculo malae.

[¶93] PHILEMATIUM:
Do you think I ought to be perfumed with unguents as well?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Etiamne unguentis unguendam censes?

[¶94] SCAPHA:
By no means do so.

> Latin: Scapha:
Minime feceris.

[¶95] PHILEMATIUM:
For what reason?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quapropter?

[¶96] SCAPHA:
Because, i’ faith, a woman smells best when she smells of nothing at all. For those old women who are in the habit of anointing themselves with unguents, vampt up creatures,
old hags, and toothless, who hide the blemishes of the person with paint, when the sweat has blended itself with the unguents, forthwith they stink just like when a cook has poured together a variety of broths; what they smell of, you don’t know, except this only, that you understand that badly they do smell.

> Latin: Scapha:
Quia ecastor mulier recte olet, ubi nihil olet.
nam istae veteres, quae se unguentis unctitant, interpoles,
vetulae, edentulae, quae vitia corporis fuco occulunt,
ubi sese sudor cum unguentis consociavit, ilico
itidem olent, quasi cum una multa iura confudit cocus.
quid olant nescias, nisi id unum, † ni male olere intellegas.

[¶97] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
How very cleverly she does understand everything! There’s nothing more knowing than this knowing woman!
(To the AUDIENCE.) This is the truth, and a very great portion, in fact, of you know it, who have old women for wives at home who purchased you with their portions.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vt perdocte cuncta callet. nihil hac docta doctius.
verum illud ésse maxima adeo pars vestrorum intellegit,
quibus anus domi súnt uxores, quae vos dote meruerunt.

[¶98] PHILEMATIUM:
Come now, examine my golden trinkets and my mantle; does this quite become me, Scapha?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Agedum contempla aurum et pallam, satin haec ⟨me⟩ deceat, Scapha.

[¶99] SCAPHA:
It befits not me to concern myself about that.

> Latin: Scapha:
Non me istuc curare oportet.

[¶100] PHILEMATIUM:
Whom then, prithee?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quem obsecro igitur?

[¶101] SCAPHA:
I’ll tell you;
Philolaches; so that he may not buy anything except that which he fancies will please you. For a lover buys the favours of a mistress for himself with gold and purple garments. What need is there for that which he doesn’t want as his own, to be shown him still? Age is to be enveloped in purple; gold ornaments are unsuitable for a woman. A beautiful woman will be more beautiful naked than drest in purple.
Besides, it’s in vain she’s well-drest if she’s ill-conducted; ill-conduct soils fine ornaments worse than dirt. But if she’s beauteous, she’s sufficiently adorned.

> Latin: Scapha:
Eloquar:
Philolachem, is ne quid emat, nisi quod sibi placere censeat.
[nám amator meretricis mores sibi emit auro et purpura.]
quid opust, quod suom esse nolit, ei ultro ostentarier?
[purpura aetati occultandaest, aurum turpi mulieri.]
pulchra mulier nuda erit quam purpurata pulchrior:
[poste nequiquam exornata est bene, si morata est male.]
[pulchrum ornatum turpes mores peius caeno conlinunt.]
nam si pulchra est, nimis ornata est.

[¶102] PHILOLACHES: (apart.)
Too long have I withheld my hand. (Coming forward.) What are you about here?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Nimis diu abstineo manum.
quid hic vos agitis?

[¶103] PHILEMATIUM:
I’m decking myself out to please you.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Tibi me exorno út placeam.

[¶104] PHILOLACHES:
You are dressed enough. (To SCAPHA.) Go you hence in-doors, and take away this finery. (SCAPHA goes into the house.) But, my delight,
my Philematium, I have a mind to regale together with you.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ornata es satis.
abi tu hinc intro atque ornamenta haec aufer. sed, voluptas mea,
mea Philematium, potare tecum conlibitum est mihi.

[¶105] PHILEMATIUM:
And, i’ faith, so I have with you; for what you have a mind to, the same have I a mind to, my delight.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Et edepol mihi tecum, nam quod tibi libet idem mihi libet,
mea voluptas.

[¶106] PHILOLACHES:
Ha! at twenty mine that expression were cheap.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Em istuc verbum vile est viginti minis.

[¶107] PHILEMATIUM:
Give me ten, there’s a dear; I wish to let you have that expression bought a bargain.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cedo, amabo, decem: bene emptum tibi dare hoc verbum volo.

[¶108] PHILOLACHES:
You’ve already got ten minae with you; or reckon up the account:
thirty minae I gave for your freedom—

> Latin: Philolaches:
Etiam nunc decem minae apud te sunt; vel rationem puta.
triginta minas pro capite tuo dedi.

[¶109] PHILEMATIUM:
Why reproach me with that?

> Latin: Philemativm:
Cur exprobras?

[¶110] PHILOLACHES:
What, I reproach you with it? Why, I had rather that I myself were reproached with it; no money whatever for this long time have I ever laid out equally well.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Egone id exprobrem, qui mihimet cupio id opprobrarier?
nec quicquam argenti locavi iam diu usquam aeque bene.

[¶111] PHILEMATIUM:
Surely, in loving you, I never could have better employed my pains.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Certe ego, quod te amo, operam nusquam melius potui ponere.

[¶112] PHILOLACHES:
The account, then, of receipts and expenditure fully tallies between ourselves;
you love me, I love you. Each thinks that it is so deservedly. Those who rejoice at this, may they ever rejoice at the continuance of their own happiness. Those who envy, let not any one henceforth be ever envious of their blessings.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Bene igitur ratio accepti atque expensi inter nos convenit:
tu me amas, ego té amo; merito id fieri uterque existimat.
haec qui gaudent, gaudeant perpetuo suo semper bono;
qui invident, ne umquam eorum quisquam invideat prosus commodis.

[¶113] PHILEMATIUM: (pointing to a couch on the stage.)
Come, take your place, then. (At the door, to a SERVANT, who obeys.) Boy, bring some water for the hands; put a little table here. See where are the dice. Would you like some perfumes? (They recline on the couch.)

> Latin: Philemativm:
Age accumbe igitur. cedo aquam manibus, puere, appone hic mensulam.
vide, tali ubi sint. vin unguenta?

[¶114] PHILOLACHES:
What need is there? Along with myrrh I am reclining.
But isn’t this my friend who’s coming hither with his mistress?’Tis he; it’s Callidamates; look, he’s coming. Capital! my sweet one, see, our comrades are approaching; they’re coming to share the spoil.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid opust? cum stacta accubo.
sed estne hic meus sodalis, qui huc incedit cúm amica sua?
is est, Callidamates cum amica incedit. euge, oculus meus,
conveniunt manuplares eccos: praedam participes petunt.

[¶115] (Enter CALLIDAMATES, at a distance, drunk, and DELPHIUIM, followed by a SERVANT.)
CALLIDAMATES: (to his SERVANT.)
I want you to come for me in good time to the house of Philolaches; listen you; well then! those are your orders. (Exit SERVANT.)
For from the place where I was, thence did I betake myself off; so confoundedly tired was I there. with the entertainment and the discourse. Now I’ll go to Philolaches to have a bout there he’ll receive us with jovial feelings and handsomely. Do I seem to you to be fairly drenched, my bubsy?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Advérsum veníri mihi ád Philolachétem
voló temperi. aúdi, em tibi ímperatum est.
nam ílli ubi fui, inde éffugi foras,
ita me íbi male convívi sermónisque taésumst.
nunc cómissatum íbo ad Phílolachetem,
ubi nós hilari ingénio et lépide accipient.
ecquíd tibi videór mammamadére?

[¶116] DELPHIUM:
You ought always to live pursuing this course of life.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Sémper istóc modo.
moratus esmorátu's tu te. ⟨íre huc⟩ debébas.

[¶117] CALLIDAMATES:
Should you like, then, for me to hug you, and you me?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Visne égo te ac tu me ampléctare?

[¶118] DELPHIUM:
If you’ve a mind to do so, of course.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Si tíbi cordi est faceré, licet.

[¶119] CALLIDAMATES:
You are a charming one. (He stumbles.) Do hold me up, there’s a dear.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Lépida es.
dúc me amabó.

[¶120] DELPHIUM: (holding him by the arm.)
Take care you don’t fall. Stand up.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Cave né cadas, ásta.

[¶121] CALLIDAMATES:
O! you are the apple of my eye. I’m your fosterling, my honey.
(He stumbles.)

> Latin: Callidamates:
O—o—ocellús meus, túos sum alumnus, mél meum.

[¶122] DELPHIUM: (still holding him up.)
Only do take care that you don’t recline in the street, before we get to a place where a couch is ready laid.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Cáve modo, né prius ín via accúmbas,
quam ílli, ubi léctus est strátus, concúmbimus.

[¶123] CALLIDAMATES:
Do let me fall.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Síne, sine cádere me.

[¶124] DELPHIUM:
Well, I’ll let you. (Lets go.)

> Latin: Delphivm:
Síno, sed hoc, quod mi in manu est:
sí cades, nón cades quín cadam técum.

[¶125] CALLIDAMATES: (dragging her as he falls.)
But that as well which I’ve got hold of in my hand.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Iacéntis tollet póstea nos ámbos aliquis.

[¶126] DELPHIUM:
If you fall, you shan’t fall without me falling with you. Then some one shall pick us both up as we lie (Aside.) The man’s quite drenched.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Madet hómo.

[¶127] CALLIDAMATES: (overhearing.)
Do you say that I am drenched, my bubsy?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Tun me ais mammámadere?

[¶128] DELPHIUM:
Give me your hand; I really do not want … you hurt.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Cedo mánum, nolo equidem te ádfligi.

[¶129] CALLIDAMATES: (giving his hand.)
There now, take it.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Em téne.

[¶130] DELPHIUM:
Come, move on with me.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Age, i símul.

[¶131] CALLIDAMATES:
Where am I going, do you know?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Quo ego eam?

[¶132] DELPHIUM:
I know.

> Latin: Delphivm:
An ⟨ne⟩scis?

[¶133] CALLIDAMATES:
It has just come into my head:
why, of course I’m going home for a booze.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Scio, ín mentem venít modo:
nempe dómum eo comissátum.

[¶134] DELPHIUM:
Why yes, really now I do remember that.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Immo, ístuc quidem.
Callidamates:
Iam mémini.

[¶135] PHILOLACHES:
Won’t you let me go to find them, my life? Of all persons I wish well to him especially. I’ll return just now.
(Goes forward towards the door.)

> Latin: Philolaches:
Núm non vis me óbviam hís ire, anime mi?
ílli ego ex ómnibus óptume volo.
iám revertár.

[¶136] PHILEMATIUM:
That “just now” is a long time to me.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Diu ést iam id mihi.

[¶137] CALLIDAMATES: (going to the door and knocking.)
Is there any person here?
PHILOLACHES:’Tis he.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Écquis hic ést?
Philolaches:
Adest.

[¶138] CALLIDAMATES: (turning round.)
Bravo! Philolaches,
good day to you, most friendly to me of all men.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Eú, Philolaches,
sálve, amicíssime mi ómnium hominum.

[¶139] PHILOLACHES:
May the Gods bless you. (Pointing to a couch.) Take your place, Callidamates. (He takes his place.) Whence are you betaking yourself?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Dí te ament. áccuba, Cállidamates.
únde agis te?

[¶140] CALLIDAMATES:
Whence a drunken man does.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Únde homo ébrius probe.

[¶141] PHILOLACHES:
Well said. But, my Delphium, do take your place, there’s a dear.
(She takes her place on a couch.)

> Latin: Philemativm:
Quín amabo áccubas, Délphium mea?
da ílli quod bibat.

[¶142] CALLIDAMATES:
Give her something to drink.
I shall go to sleep directly.
(Nods and goes to sleep.)

> Latin: Callidamates:
Dórmiam ego iam.

[¶143] PHILOLACHES:
He doesn’t do anything wonderful or strange.
What shall I do with him then, my dear?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Núm mirum aut novom quíppiam facit?

[¶144] DELPHIUM:
Let him alone just as he is.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Quíd ego hoc faciam póstea?

[¶145] PHILOLACHES:
Come, you boy. Meanwhile, speedily pass the goblet round, beginning with Delphium.

> Latin: Philemativm:
Mea, síc sine eumpse.
age tu ínterim da ab Délphio cito cántharum circum.

[¶146] (Enter TRANIO, at a distance.)
TRANIO: (to himself.)
Supreme Jove, with all his might and resources, is seeking for me and Philolaches, my master’s son, to be undone.
Our hopes are destroyed; nowhere is there any hold for courage; not even Salvation now could save us if she wished. Such an immense mountain of woe have I just now seen at the harbour: my master has arrived from abroad; Tranio is undone! (To the. AUDIENCE.) Is there any person who’d like to make gain of a little money,
who could this day endure to take my place in being tortured? Where are those fellows hardened to a flogging, the wearers-out of iron chains, or those, who, for the consideration of three didrachms, would get beneath besieging towers, where some are in the way of having their bodies pierced with fifteen spears? I’ll give a talent to that man who shall be the first to run to the cross for me;
but on condition that twice his feet, twice his arms are fastened there. When that shall have been done, then ask the money down of me. But am I not a wretched fellow, not at full speed to be running home?

> Latin: Tranio:
Iúppiter supremus summis opibus atque industriis
me periisse et Philolachetem cupit erilem filium.
occidit Spes nostra, nusquam stabulum est Confidentiae,
nec Salus nobis saluti iam esse, si cupiat, potest:
ita mali, maeroris montem maximum ad portum modo
conspicatus sum: erus advenit peregre, periit Tranio.
ecquis homo est, qui facere argenti cupiat aliquantum lucri,
quí hodie sese excruciari meam vicem possit pati?
ubi sunt isti plagipatidae, ferritribaces viri,
vel isti qui hosticas trium númmum causa subeunt sub falas,
ubi quinis aut denis hastis corpus transfigi solet?
ego dabo ei talentum, primus qui in crucem excucurrerit;
sed ea lege, ut offigantur bis pedes, bis bracchia.
ubi id erit factum, a me argentum petito praesentarium.
sed ego—sumne infelix, qui non curro curriculo domum?

[¶147] PHILOLACHES:
Here come the provisions; see, here’s Tranio; he’s come back from the harbour.
TRANIO: (running.)
Philolaches!

> Latin: Philolaches:
⟨Adest⟩ adest opsonium. eccum Tranio a portu redit.
Tranio:
Philolaches.

[¶148] PHILOLACHES:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid est?

[¶149] TRANIO:
Both I and you—

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Et⟩ ego et tu—

[¶150] PHILOLACHES:
What about “Both I and you?”

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid et ego et tu?

[¶151] TRANIO:
Are undone!

> Latin: Tranio:
Periimus.

[¶152] PHILOLACHES:
Why so?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ita?

[¶153] TRANIO:
Your father’s here.

> Latin: Tranio:
Pater adest.

[¶154] PHILOLACHES:
What is it I hear of you?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ego ex te aúdio?

[¶155] TRANIO:
We are finished up. Your father’s come, I say.

> Latin: Tranio:
Absumpti sumus.
pater inquam tuos venit.

[¶156] PHILOLACHES: (starting up.)
Where is he, I do entreat you?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vbi is est, obsecro?

[¶157] TRANIO:
He’s coming.

> Latin: Tranio:
… adest.

[¶158] PHILOLACHES:
Coming? Who says so? Who has seen him?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quis id ait? quis vidit?

[¶159] TRANIO:
I saw him myself, I tell you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Egomet inquam vidi.

[¶160] PHILOLACHES:
Woe unto me! what am I about?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vae mihi.
quid ego ago?

[¶161] TRANIO:
Why the plague now do you ask me what you are about? Taking your place at table, of course.

> Latin: Tranio:
Nam quid tu, malum, me rogitas quid agas? accubas.

[¶162] PHILOLACHES:
Did you see him?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Tutin vidisti?

[¶163] TRANIO:
I my own self, I tell you.

> Latin: Tranio:
Egomet, inquam.

[¶164] PHILOLACHES:
For certain?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Certe?

[¶165] TRANIO:
For certain, I tell you.

> Latin: Tranio:
⟨Certe⟩ inquam.

[¶166] PHILOLACHES:
I’m undone,
if you are telling the truth.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Occidi,
si tu vera memoras.

[¶167] TRANIO:
What good could it be to me if I told a lie?

> Latin: Tranio:
Quid mihi sit boni, si mentiar?

[¶168] PHILOLACHES:
What shall I do now?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ego nunc faciam?

[¶169] TRANIO: (pointing to the table and couches.)
Order all these things to be removed from here. (Pointing.) Who’s that asleep there?
PHILOLACHES:
Callidamates.

> Latin: Tranio:
Iube haec hinc omnia amolirier.
quis istic dormit?
Philolaches:
Callidamates.

[¶170] TRANIO:
Arouse him, Delphium.

> Latin: Tranio:
Suscita istum, Delphium.

[¶171] DELPHIUM: (bawling out in his ear.)
Callidamates! Callidamates! awake!

> Latin: Delphivm:
Callidamates, Callidamates, vigila.

[¶172] CALLIDAMATES: (raising himself a little.)
I am awake; give me something to drink.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Vigilo, cedo [ut] bibam.

[¶173] DELPHIUM:
Awake; the father of Philolaches has arrived from abroad.

> Latin: Delphivm:
Vigila. pater advenit peregre Philolachis.

[¶174] CALLIDAMATES:
I hope his father’s well.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Valeat pater.

[¶175] PHILOLACHES:
He is well indeed; but I am utterly undone.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Valet ille quidem, atque ⟨ego⟩ disperii.

[¶176] CALLIDAMATES:
You, utterly undone? How can that be?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Bis periisti? qui potest?

[¶177] PHILOLACHES:
By heavens! do get up, I beg of you; my father has arrived.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quaeso edepol, exsurge; pater advenit.

[¶178] CALLIDAMATES:
Your father has come? Bid him go back again. What business had he to come back here so soon?

> Latin: Callidamates:
Tuos venit pater?
iube abíre rursum. quíd illi reditio etiam húc fuit?

[¶179] PHILOLACHES:
What am I to do? My father will, just now, be coming and unfortunately finding me amid drunken carousals, and the house full of revellers and women. It’s a shocking bad job,
to be digging a well at the last moment, just when thirst has gained possession of your throat; just as I, on the arrival of my father, wretch that I am, am now enquiring what I am to do.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Quid ego agam? pater iam híc me offendet miserum adveniens ebrium,
aedis plenas convivarum et mulierum. miserum est opus,
igitur demum fodere puteum, úbi sitis fauces tenet;
sicut ego adventu patris nunc quaero quid faciam miser.

[¶180] TRANIO: (pointing at CALLIDAMATES.)
Why look, he has laid down his head and gone to sleep. Do arouse him.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ecce autem ⟨iterum⟩ hic deposivit caput et dormit. suscita.

[¶181] PHILOLACHES: (shaking him.)
Will you awake now? My father, I tell you, will be here this instant.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Etiam vigilas? pater, inquam, aderit iam hic meus.

[¶182] CALLIDAMATES:
How say you? Your father? Give me my shoes, that I may take up arms. On my word, I’ll kill your father this instant.

> Latin: Callidamates:
Ain tu, pater?
cedo soleas mihi, ut arma capiam. iam pol ego occidam patrem.

[¶183] PHILOLACHES: (seizing hold of him.)
You’re spoiling the whole business;
do hold your tongue.
(To DELPHIUM.) Prithee, do carry him off in your arms into the house.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Perdis rem.
Delphivm:
Tace, amabo.
Tranio:
Abripite hunc intro actutum inter manus.

[¶184] CALLIDAMATES: (To DELPHIUM, who is lifting him up.)
Upon my faith, I’ll be making an utensil of you just now, if you don’t find me one.
(He is led off into the house.)

> Latin: Callidamates:
Iam hercle ego vos pro matula habebo, nisi mihi matulam datis.

[¶185] PHILOLACHES:
I’m undone!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Perii.

[¶186] TRANIO:
Be of good courage; I’ll cleverly find a remedy for this alarm.

> Latin: Tranio:
Habe bonum animum: ego istum lepide medicabo metum.

[¶187] PHILOLACHES:
I’m utterly ruined!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Nullus sum.

[¶188] TRANIO:
Do hold your tongue; I’ll think of something by means of which to alleviate this for you. Are you satisfied, if on his arrival I shall so manage your father,
not only that he shall not enter, but even that he shall run away to a distance from the house? Do you only be off from here in-doors, and remove these things from here with all haste.

> Latin: Tranio:
Taceas: ego qui istaec sedem meditabor tibi.
satin habes, si ego advenientem íta patrem faciam tuom,
non modo ne intro eat, verum etiam ut fugiat longe ab aedibus?
vos modo hinc abite intro atque haec hinc propere amolimini.

[¶189] PHILOLACHES:
Where am I to be?

> Latin: Philolaches:
Vbi ego ero?

[¶190] TRANIO:
Where you especially desire: with her (pointing to PHILEMATIUM); with this girl, too, you’ll be. (Pointing to DELPHEIUM.)

> Latin: Tranio:
Vbi maxime esse vis: cum hác, cum istac eris.

[¶191] DELPHIUM:
How then? Are we to go away from here?

> Latin: Delphivm:
Quid si igitur abeamus hinc nos?

[¶192] TRANIO:
Not far from here, Delphium. For carouse away in the house not a bit the less on account of this.

> Latin: Tranio:
Non hoc longe, Delphium.
nam intus potate hau tantillo hác quidem causa minus.

[¶193] PHILOLACHES:
Ah me! I’m in a sweat with fear as to how these fine words are to end!

> Latin: Philolaches:
Ei mihi, quam ístaec blanda dicta quo evenant madeo metu.

[¶194] TRANIO:
Can you not be tranquil in your mind, and do as I bid you?

> Latin: Tranio:
Potin animó ut sis quieto et facias quod iubeo?

[¶195] PHILOLACHES:
I can be.

> Latin: Philolaches:
Potest.

[¶196] TRANIO:
In the first place of all, Philematium, do you go in-doors; and you, Delphium.

> Latin: Tranio:
Omnium primum, Philematium, intro abi, et tu, Delphium.

[¶197] DELPHIUM:
We’ll both be obedient to you.
(They go into the house.)

> Latin: Delphivm:
Morigerae tibi erimus ambae.—

[¶198] TRANIO:
May Jupiter grant it so! Now then, do you give attention as to what I’d have attended to.
In the first place, then, before anything, cause the house to be shut up at once. Take care and don’t let any one whisper a word indoors.

> Latin: Tranio:
Ita ille faxit Iuppiter.
animum advorte nunciam tu quae volo accurarier.
omnium primumdum aédes iam face occlusae sient;
intus cave muttire quemquam siveris.