---
title: "Pseudolus"
author: "Plautus"
translator: "Henry Thomas Riley"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/
cite: "Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley, Pseudolus. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/"
---

# Pseudolus

*Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley*

The trickster slave Pseudolus swindles a pimp to win a girl for his young master.

> Latin: ed. Friedrich Leo, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi0119.phi016, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Thomas Riley, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi0119.phi016.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (line numbers), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Lines 1–328](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/1.md)
2. [Lines 326–656](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/2.md)
3. [Lines 657–987](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/3.md)
4. [Lines 988–1335](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/4.md)

## 1. Lines 1–328

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/1/#p-N

[¶0] PROLOGUE:
ATTEND to me this day; good things I bring upon the stage; for I think ’tis very just that to the good good things should be brought; as likewise bad things to the bad; that those who are bad may have what’s bad, those who are good what’s good; bad men are bad because they hate the good; because the good contemn the bad, needs must be that they are good; and therefore, you are good since you have ever abhorred the bad; and both by your laws, Quirites, and by your legions, have you routed them with good success. In like manner now do you give your goodly attention to this goodly company, which is a good one, and. to good people brings this day good things. Ears, eyes, and understanding, shall be amply filled. He that comes hungry or thirsty to the theatre, the same shall carefully give his attention both through laughter and a sharpened stomach; while those who are full will laugh, the hungry will be carping. Now, if you are wise, you hungry ones, give place, and go away; you who are full, stand—aye, sit you down, and give attention. I shall not now divulge the plot, nor yet the name of this play—Pseudolus will fully do that. I imagine then and I think that this is enough which I have said to you. Where mirth, jokes, laughter, wine, and jollity, are the order of the day, the Graces, too, and propriety, joyousness, and delight; he who seeks for other things, that person appears to seek for evil. Away, then, with evil cares, as being men at your ease this day.’Tis better for your loins to be stretched, and for you to arise. A long play of Plautus is coming upon the stage.
(Enter CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS from SIMO’S house.)
PSEUDOLUS:
If, master, by your being silent, I could be informed what miseries are afflicting you so sadly,
I would willingly have spared the trouble of two persons—of myself in asking you, and of yourself in answering me. Since, however, that cannot be, necessity compels me to enquire of you. Answer me: What’s the reason that, out of spirits for these many days past,
you’ve been carrying a letter about with you, washing it with your tears, and making no person the sharer of your purpose? Speak out, that what I am ignorant of, I may know together with yourself.

> Latin: PROLOGVS:
exporgi meliust lumbos atque exsurgier:
Plautina longa fabula in scaenam venit.
Psevdolvs:
Si ex te tacente fieri possem certior,
ere, quae miseriae te tam misere macerent,
duorúm labori ego hominum parsissem lubens,
mei te rogandi et tis respondendi mihi;
nunc quoniam id fieri non potest, necessitas
me subigit ut te rogitem. responde mihi:
quid est quod tu exanimatus iam hos multos dies
gestas tabellas tecum, eas lacrumis lavis,
neque tui participem consili quemquam facis?
eloquere, ut quod ego nescio id tecum sciam.

[¶1] CALIDORUS:
I am wretchedly miserable, Pseudolus.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Misere miser sum, Pseudole.

[¶2] PSEUDOLUS:
May Jupiter forbid it!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Id te Iuppiter
prohibessit.

[¶3] CALIDORUS:
This belongs not at all to the arbitration of Jupiter;
under the sway of Venus am I harassed, not under that of Jove.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nihil hoc Iovis ad iudicium attinet:
sub Veneris regno vapulo, non sub Iovis.

[¶4] PSEUDOLUS:
Is it allowable for me to know what it is? For hitherto you have had me as chief confidant in your plans.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Licet me id scire quid sit? nam tu me antidhac
supremum habuisti comitem consiliis tuis.

[¶5] CALIDORUS:
The same is now my intention.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Idem animus nunc est.

[¶6] PSEUDOLUS:
Let me know then what’s the matter with you. I’ll aid you either with resources, or with my efforts, or with good counsel.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Face me certum quid tibist;
iuvabo aut ré aut opera aut consilio bono.

[¶7] CALIDORUS:
Do you take this letter: do you thence inform yourself what misery and what care are wasting me away.
PSEUDOLUS: (taking the letter.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Cape has tabellas, tute hinc narrato tibi
quae me miseria et cura contabefacit.

[¶8] Compliance shall be given you. But, prithee, how’s this?
CALIDORUS:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Mos tibi geretur. sed quid hoc, quaeso?
Calidorvs:
Quid est?

[¶9] PSEUDOLUS:
As I think, these letters are very loving; they are climbing on each other’s backs.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vt opinor, quaerunt litterae hae sibi liberos:
alia aliam scandit.

[¶10] CALIDORUS:
Are you making sport of me with your foolery?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ludis iam ludo tuo?

[¶11] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ faith, I really do believe that unless the Sibyl can read them, nobody else can possibly interpret them.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Has quidem pol credo nisi Sibulla legerit,
interpretari álium posse neminem.

[¶12] CALIDORUS:
Why speak you unkindly of those sweet letters— sweet tablets too, written upon by a hand as sweet.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Cur inclementer dicis lepidis litteris
lepidis tabellis lepida conscriptis manu?

[¶13] PSEUDOLUS:
Troth now, have hens, prithee, such hands?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
An, opsecro hercle, habent quas gallinae manus?

[¶14] For certainly a hen has written these letters.
CALIDORUS:
You are annoying me. Either read it or return the letter.

> Latin: nam has quidem gallina scripsit.
Calidorvs:
Odiosus mihi es.
lege vel tabellas redde.

[¶15] PSEUDOLUS:
Very well then, I’ll read it through. Give me your attention.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Immo enim pellegam.
advortito animum.

[¶16] CALIDORUS:
That’s not here.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Non adest.

[¶17] PSEUDOLUS:
Do you summon it then.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At tu cita.

[¶18] CALIDORUS:
Well, I’ll be silent; do you summon it from that wax there; for there my attention is at present, not in my breast.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Immo ego tacebo, tu istinc ex cera cita;
nam istic meus animus nunc est, non in pectore.

[¶19] PSEUDOLUS:
I see your mistress, Calidorus.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tuam amicam video, Calidore.

[¶20] CALIDORUS:
Where is she, prithee?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Vbi ea est, opsecro?

[¶21] PSEUDOLUS:
See, here she is at full length in the letter; she’s lying upon the wax.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eccam in tabellis porrectam: in cera cubat.

[¶22] CALIDORUS:
Now, may the Gods and Goddesses, inasmuch—

> Latin: Calidorvs:
At te di deaeque quantumst—

[¶23] PSEUDOLUS:
Preserve me from harm, to wit.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Servassint quidem.

[¶24] CALIDORUS:
For a short season have I been like a summer plant; suddenly have I sprung up, suddenly have I withered.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quasi solstitialis herba paulisper fui:
repente exortus sum, repentino occidi.

[¶25] PSEUDOLUS:
Be silent, while I read the letter through.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tace, dúm tabellas pellego.

[¶26] CALIDORUS:
Why don’t you read it then?
PSEUDOLUS: (reading.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ergo quin legis?

[¶27] “Phœnicium to her lover, Calidorus, by means of wax and string and letters, her exponents, sends health, and safety does she beg of you, weeping, and with palpitating feelings, heart, and breast.”

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
“Phoenicium Calidoro amatori suo
per ceram et lignum litterasque interpretes
salutem mittit et salutem abs te expetit,
lacrumans titubanti ánimo, corde et pectore.”

[¶28] CALIDORUS:
I’m undone; I nowhere find, Pseudolus, this safety for me to send her back.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Perii, salutem nusquam invenio, Pseudole,
quam illi remittam.

[¶29] PSEUDOLUS:
What safety?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quam salutem?

[¶30] CALIDORUS:
A silver one.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Argenteam.

[¶31] PSEUDOLUS:
And do you wish to send her back a silver safety for one on wood? Consider what you’re about.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Pro lignean salute vis argenteam
remittere illi? vide sis quam tu rem geras.

[¶32] CALIDORUS:
Read on now; I’ll soon cause you to know from the letter
how suddenly there’s need for me for one of silver to be found.
PSEUDOLUS: (reading on.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Recita modo: ex tabellis iam faxo scies
quam subito argento mi usus invento siet.

[¶33] “The procurer has sold me, my love, for twenty minae, to a Macedonian officer from abroad. Before he departed hence, the Captain paid him fifteen minae; only five minae now are remaining unpaid.”

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
“Leno me peregre militi Macedonio
minis viginti vendidit, voluptas mea;
et prius quam hinc abiit, quindecim miles minas
dederat; nunc unae quinque remorantur minae.

[¶34] “On that account the Captain left here a token—his own likeness impressed on wax by his ring—that he who should bring hither a token like to that, together with him the procurer might send me. The next day hence, on the Festival of Bacchus, is the one fixed for this matter.”

> Latin: ea caúsa miles hic reliquit symbolum,
expressam in cera ex anulo suam imaginem,
ut qui huc adferret eius similem symbolum,
cum eo simul me mitteret. ei rei dies
haec praestituta est, proxuma Dionysia.”

[¶35] CALIDORUS:
Well, that’s to-morrow;
my ruin is near at hand, unless I have some help in you.

> Latin: cras ea quidem sunt.
Calidorvs:
Prope adest exitium mihi,
nisi quid mihi in te est auxili.

[¶36] PSEUDOLUS:
Let me read it through.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sine pellegam.

[¶37] CALIDORUS:
I permit you; for I seem to myself to be talking to her. Read on; the sweet and the hitter are you now mingling together for me.
PSEUDOLUS: (reading on.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Sino, nám mihi videor cúm ea fabularier;
lege: dulce amarumque una nunc misces mihi.

[¶38] “Now our loves, our tenderness, our intimacy,”
“our mirth, our dalliance, our talking, our sweet kisses, the close embrace of us lovers equally fond, the soft, dear kisses impressed on our tender lips, the delicious pressing of the swelling bosom; of all these delights, I say, for me and for you as well,”
“the severance, the destruction, and the downfal is at hand, unless there is some rescue for me in you or for you in me. I have taken care that you should know all these things that I have written; now shall I make trial how far you love me, and how far you pretend to do so.”

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
“Nunc nostri amores mores consuetudines,
[iocus lúdus sermo suavisaviatio]
compressiones artae amantum corporum,
teneris labellis molles morsiunculae,
[nostrorum órgiorum—iunculae]
papillarum horridularum oppressiunculae,
harunc voluptátum mi omnium atque itidem tibi
distractio discidium vastities venit,
nisi quae mihi in test aut tibist in me salus.
haec quaé ego scivi ut scires curavi omnia;
nunc ego te experiar quid ames, quid simules. vale.”

[¶39] CALIDORUS:’Tis written, Pseudolus, in wretchedness.
PSEUDOLUS:
Alas! very wretchedly.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Est misere scriptum, Pseudole.
Psevdolvs:
O, miserrime.

[¶40] CALIDORUS:
Why don’t you weep, then?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quin fles?

[¶41] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ve eyes of pumice stone; I can’t prevail upon them to squeeze out one tear even.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Pumiceos oculos habeo: non queo
lacrumam exorare ut expuant unam modo.

[¶42] CALIDORUS:
Why so?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid ita?

[¶43] PSEUDOLUS:
My family was always a dryeyed one.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Genus nostrum semper siccoculum fuit.

[¶44] CALIDORUS:
Won’t you attempt to assist me at all?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nilne adiuvare me audes?

[¶45] PSEUDOLUS:
What shall I do for you?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid faciam tibi?

[¶46] CALIDORUS:
Alas!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Eheú.

[¶47] PSEUDOLUS:
Alas! do you say? Well, don’t be sparing of them, i’ faith; I’ll give you plenty.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eheu? id quidem hercle ne parsis: dabo.

[¶48] CALIDORUS:
I’m distracted. I nowhere can find any money to borrow.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Miser sum, argentum nusquam invenio mutuom.

[¶49] PSEUDOLUS:
Alas!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eheu.

[¶50] CALIDORUS:
Nor is there a single coin in the house.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Neque intus nummus ullus est.

[¶51] PSEUDOLUS:
Alas!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eheu.

[¶52] CALIDORUS:
He’s going to carry the damsel away to-morrow.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ille abducturus est mulierem cras.

[¶53] PSEUDOLUS:
Alas!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eheu.

[¶54] CALIDORUS:
Is it in that fashion that you help me?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Istocine pacto me adiuvas?

[¶55] PSEUDOLUS:
I give you that which I have; for I’ve a perpetual supply of those treasures in my house.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Do id quod mihi est;
nam is mihi thensaurus iugis in nostra est domo.

[¶56] CALIDORUS:
It’s all over with me this very day. But can you now lend me one drachma, which I’ll pay you back to-morrow

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Actum est de me hodie. sed potes nunc mutuam
drachumam dare unam mihi, quam cras reddam tibi?

[¶57] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ faith, I hardly think I could, even though I should pawn myself for it. But what do you want to do with this drachma?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vix hercle, opinor, si me opponam pignori.
sed quid ea drachuma facere vis?

[¶58] CALIDORUS:
I want to purchase a halter for myself.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Restim volo
mihi émere.

[¶59] PSEUDOLUS:
For what reason?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quam ob rem?

[¶60] CALIDORUS:
With which to hang myself.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Qui me faciam pensilem.

[¶61] I’m determined, ere ’tis dark, to take a leap in the dark.

> Latin: certum est mihi ante tenebras tenebras persequi.

[¶62] PSEUDOLUS:
Who then shall pay me back my drachma * * * *? Do you wish purposely to hang yourself for the very reason, that you may cheat mo out of my drachma if I lend it you?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quis mi igitur drachumam reddet, si dedero tibi?
an tu te ea caúsa vis sciens suspendere
ut me defraudes, drachumam si dederim tibi?

[¶63] CALIDORUS:
At all events, I can in nowise survive
if she’s removed and carried off from me.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Profecto nullo pacto possum vivere,
si illa a me abalienatur atque abducitur.

[¶64] PSEUDOLUS:
Why do you weep, you cuckoo? You shall survive.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid fles, cucule? vives.

[¶65] CALIDORUS:
Why should I not weep, who have neither a coin of silver in ready money, nor have the hope of a groat anywhere in the world?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid ego ni fleam,
quoi nec paratus nummus argenti siet
neque libellai spes sit usquam gentium?

[¶66] PSEUDOLUS:
As I understand the tenor of this letter,
unless you weep for her with tears of silver, the affection which you wish yourself by those tears to prove is of no more value than if you were to pour water into a sieve. But have no fear, I’ll not forsake you in your love. In troth, I do trust that this day, from some quarter or other, by my good aid
I shall find you help in the money line. But whence that is to come,—that whence I know not how to pronounce; except only that so it shall be; my eyebrow twitches to that effect.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vt litterarum ego harum sermonem audio,
nisi tu illi lacrumis fleveris argenteis,
quod tu istis lacrumis te probare postulas,
non pluris refert quam si imbrem in cribrum geras.
verum ego te amantem, ne pave, non deseram.
spero alicunde hodie me bona opera aut hac mea
tibi inventurum esse auxilium argentarium.
atque id futurum unde unde dicam nescio,
nisi quia futurum est: ita supercilium salit.

[¶67] CALIDORUS:
As to what you say, I trust that your deeds may be as good as your words.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Vtinam quae dicis dictis facta suppetant.

[¶68] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ faith, you surely know, if I set my plans a-going,
after what fashion and how great is the bustle that I am in the habit of causing.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Scis tu quidem hercle, mea si commovi sacra,
quo pacto et quantas soleam turbellas dare.

[¶69] CALIDORUS:
In you are now centred all the hopes of my existence.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
In te nunc omnes spes sunt aetati meae.

[¶70] PSEUDOLUS:
Is it enough, if I this day make this damsel to be yours, or if I find you twenty minae?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Satin est, si hanc hodie mulierem efficio tibi
tua ut sit, aut si tibi do viginti minas?

[¶71] CALIDORUS:’Tis enough, if so it is to be.
PSEUDOLUS:
Ask of me twenty minae,
that you may be assured that I’ll procure for you that which I have promised. Ask them of me, by my troth, prithee do; I long to make the promise.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Satis, sí futurumst.
Psevdolvs:
Roga me viginti minas,
ut me effecturum tibi quod promisi scias.
roga, opsecro hercle. gestio promittere.

[¶72] CALIDORUS:
Will you this day find me twenty minae of silver?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Dabisne argenti mi hodie viginti minas?

[¶73] PSEUDOLUS:
I will find them; be no more troublesome to me then. And this I tell you first, that you mayn’t deny that it was told you;

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Dabo. molestus nunciam ne sis mihi.
atque hoc, ne dictum tibi neges, dico prius:

[¶74] if I can no one else, I’ll diddle your father out of the money.

> Latin: si neminem alium potero, tuom tangam patrem.

[¶75] CALIDORUS:
So far as filial affection is concerned, even my mother as well. May the Gods always preserve you for me. But what if you are not able?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Di te mihi semper servent. verum, si potest,
pietatis causa—vel etiam matrem quoque.

[¶76] PSEUDOLUS:
Upon that matter do you go to sleep with either eye.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
De istac re in oculum utrumvis conquiescito.

[¶77] CALIDORUS:
With the eye or with the ear?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Oculum anne in aurem?

[¶78] PSEUDOLUS:
The latter is too common an expression.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At hoc pervolgatumst minus.

[¶79] Now, that no one may affirm that it wasn’t told him, I tell you all (to the AUDIENCE), in the presence of the youths in this audience, and of all the people, to all my friends and all my acquaintances I give notice, that for this day they must guard against me, and not trust me.
CALIDORUS:
Hist! be silent, prithee, by all the powers!

> Latin: nunc, ne quis dictum sibi neget, dico omnibus
pube praesenti in contione: omni poplo,
omnibus amicis notisque edico meis,
in hunc diem a me ut caveant, ne credant mihi.
Calidorvs:
St, táce opsecro hércle.

[¶80] PSEUDOLUS:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid negoti est?

[¶81] CALIDORUS:
There was a noise at the procurer’s door.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ostium
lenonis crepuit.

[¶82] PSEUDOLUS:
I could only wish it were his legs in preference.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Crura mavellem modo.

[¶83] CALIDORUS:
Yes, and he himself is coming out from in-doors, the perjured scoundrel.
(They stand at a distance.) (Enter BALLIO, with several MALE and FEMALE SLAVES, from his house.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Atque ipse egreditur intus, periuri caput.

[¶84] BALLIO:
Get out, come, out with you, you rascals, kept at a loss and bought at a loss, in the minds of not one of whom aught ever comes to do aright,
of whom I can’t make a bit of use, unless I try it after this fashion. (He flogs the men all round.) At no time did I ever see human beings more like asses; so hardened are your ribs with stripes; when you flog them, you hurt yourself the most. Of such a disposition are these whipping-posts who follow this line of conduct; when the opportunity is given, pilfer, purloin, prig, plunder, drink, eat, and run away’s the word. This
is their method, so that you would choose rather to leave wolves among sheep, than these fellows on guard in your house. Yet, when you look at their appearance, they don’t seem amiss; by their doings they deceive you. Now, therefore, unless you all of you give your attention to this charge, unless you remove drowsiness and sloth from your breasts and eyes,
I’ll make your sides to be right thoroughly marked with thongs, so much so that not even Campanian coverlets are coloured as well, nor yet Alexandrian tapestry of purple embroidered with beasts all over. Even yesterday I already gave you all notice, and assigned to each his own respective employment; but so utterly worthless are you, so neglectful, of such stubborn dispositions,
that you compel me to put you in mind of your duty with a basting. You are so minded I suppose, to get the better of this scourge and myself through the hardness of your hides. Never, i’ faith, will your hides prove harder, than is this cow-hide of mine. (He dangles it before them.) Do look at that, please; they are minding other matters. Attend to this, and give heed to this.

> Latin: Ballio:
Exíte, agite exite, ígnavi, male hábiti et male concíliati,
quorúm numquam quicquám quoiquam venit ín mentem ut recté faciant,
quibus, nísi ad hoc exemplum éxperior, non pótest usura usúrpari.
neque ego hómines magis asinós numquam vidi, íta plagis costaé callent:
quós quom ferias, tíbi plus noceas; éo enim ingenio hi súnt flagritribae,
qui haéc habent cónsilia, úbi data occásiost, rape clépe tene
hárpaga bibe és fuge: hoc
ést eorum opus, ut mávelis lúpos apud ovis línquere,
quam hós domi custodes.
át faciem quom aspícias eorum, hau máli videntur: ópera fallunt.
núnc adeo hanc edictionem nisi animum advortetis omnes,
nisi somnum socordiamque ex pectore oculisque exmovetis,
ita ego vestra latera loris faciam ut valide varia sint,
ut né peristromáta quidem aeque pícta sint Campánica
neque Aléxandrina beluata tonsilia tappetia.
atque héri iam edixeram omnibus dederamque eas provincias,
verum ita vos estis praediti callenti ingenio ímprobi,
officium vestrum ut vos malo cogatis commonerier;
nempe íta animati éstis vos: vincítis duritia hoc átque me.
hoc sis vide, ut alias res agunt. hoc ágite, hoc animum advortite,
huc adhibete auris quae ego loquor, plagigera genera hóminum.
numquam edepol vostrum durius tergum erit quam terginum hoc meum.

[¶85] (He flogs one of them.) How now? Does it pain? Ah, that’s the way it’s laid on when any slave slights his master. Stand all of you before me, you race of mortals born to be thrashed; turn your ears this way; give attention all of you to what I say. You fellow who are holding the pitcher, do you fetch the water; do you take care that the cauldron’s full this instant. You, with the axe, I appoint over the wood-cutting department.

> Latin: quid nunc? doletne? em sic datur, si quis erum servos spernit.
adsistite omnes contra me et quae loquar advortite animum.
tu qui urnam habes aquam ingere, face plenum ahenum sit coco.
te cum securi caudicali praeficio provinciae.

[¶86] SLAVES of Ballio.:
But this one is blunted on the edge.
BALLIO:
Let it be so, then. And so are you yourselves with stripes;

> Latin: Servvs:
At haec retunsast.
Ballio:
Sine siet; itidem vos quoque estis plagis [omnes]:

[¶87] yet am I for that reason any the less to enjoy your services? My orders I give to you, that the house be made clean. You have what you are to do; make haste, and go in-doors. (Exit FIRST SLAVE.) Be you the one that makes the couches smooth. Do you wash the plate clean, and arrange it in order as well, Take care that when I return from the Forum, I find things done; that all be swept, sprinkled, scoured, made smooth, cleaned, and arranged in order.

> Latin: numqui minus ea gratia tamen omnium opera útor?
tíbi hoc praecipio ut níteant aedes. hábes quod facias: própera, abi intro.
tu esto lectisterniator. tu argentum eluito, idem exstruito.
haec, quom ego a foro revortar, facite ut offendam parata,
vorsa sparsa, tersa strata, lautaque unctaque omnia ut sint.

[¶88] For this day is my birthday; it befits you all to celebrate it. Take care to lay the gammon of bacon, the brawn, the collared neck, and the udder, in water; do you hear me? I wish to entertain tip-top men in first-rate style, that they may fancy that I have property. Go you in-doors, and get these things ready quickly, that there may be no delay when the cook comes. I’m going to market, that I may make purchase of whatever fish is there.

> Latin: nam mi hódie natalís dies est, decet éum omnis vos concélebrare.
pernám callum glandiúm sumen facito ín aqua iaceant. sátin audis?
magnífice volo me víros summos accípere, ut mihi rem essé reantur.
intro abíte atque haec cito célerate, ne móra quae sit, cocus cum veniat;
ego eo ín macellum, ut píscium quidquíd ibist pretio praéstinem.

[¶89] Boy, go you before me; I must have a care that no one cuts away my purse. Or wait there; there’s something that I had almost forgotten to say at home. Do you hear me, you women? I have this charge for you—you, misses of distinction, who spend your time with illustrious men in refinements, luxury, and delights; now shall I know and make trial this day,
which one has regard for her liberty, which for her appetite which thinks on her business, which on sleeping only: this day I’ll make trial which I must think of as a freed-woman, and which as one to be sold. Take you care that many a present from your lovers comes in for me this day; for if your year’s board isn’t picked up for me, to-morrow I’ll turn you adrift on the public. You know that this is my birthday; where are those youths, the apples of whose eyes you are,
whose very existence, whose delight you are? Where are your kisses, where your bosoms sweet as honey? Make the bearers of presents to come here then, for my sake, before this house, in whole regiments. Why am I to find clothes for you, gold trinkets, and those things which you need? What have I, you jades, through your means, except vexation, you women, eager for nothing but the wine? You are a-soaking away yourselves and your paunches too, at the very time that I’m here a-dry.

> Latin: i, púere, prae; ne quísquam pertundát cruminam caútiost.
vel ópperire, est quód domi dicére paene fui oblítus.
audítin? vobis, múlieres, hanc hábeo edictiónem.
vós, quae in munditiís, mollitiis déliciisque aetátulam agitis,
viris cúm summis, inclútae amicae, nunc égo scibo atque hodie éxperiar,
quae cápiti, quae ventri óperam det, quae suaé rei, quae somnó studeat;
quam líbertam fore míhi credam et quam vénalem, hodie expériar.
facite hódie ut mihi munéra multa huc ab amátoribus convéniant.
nam nísi mihi penus annúos hodie † convenit, cras populo prostituam vos.
natálem scitis mi ésse diem hunc: ubi istí sunt quibus vos óculi estis,
quibus vítae, quibus delíciae estis, quibus sávia, mammia, méllillae?
maniplátim mihi munérigeruli facite ánte aedis iam hic ádsint.
cur égo vestem, aurum atque éa quibus est vobís usus, prahibeo? aút quid mi
domi nísi malum vestra operást hodie? improbaé vini modo cúpidae estis:
eo vós † vestros panticesque adeo madefáctatis, quom ego sim híc siccus.

[¶90] Now, therefore, this is the best thing to do; for me to call you each by her name, that no one of you may be declaring to me by-and-by that her business hasn’t been told her. Give attention, all of you. In the first place, Hedylium, my business is with you—you, who are the favorite of the corn-merchants, men who have, all of them, immense mountains of wheat piled up at home;

> Latin: nunc ádeo hoc factust óptumum, ut nomíne quemque appellem suo,
ne díctum esse actutúm sibi quaepiám vostrarum míhi neget:
advórtite animum cúnctae.
princípio, Hedytium, técum ago, quae amíca es frumentáriis,
quibus cúnctis montes máxumi [acervi] frumenti súnt domi:

[¶91] take you care that wheat is brought here for me, to suffice this year to come for myself and all my household, and that I may so abound in corn that the city may change my name for me, and instead of the procurer Ballio proclaim me King lasions.
CALIDORUS: (apart.)

> Latin: fac sís sit delatum húc mihi fruméntum, hunc annum quód satis,
mi et fámiliae omni sít meae, atque ádeo ut frumento áfluam,
ut cívitas nomén mihi commútet meque ut praédicet
lenóne ex Ballióne regem Iásonem.

[¶92] Do you hear what the gallows-bird is saying? … Doesn’t he seem a regular boaster to you?
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Aúdin, furcifér quae loquitur? sátin magnificus tíbi videtur?

[¶93] I’ troth the fellow does, and a wicked one as well. But hush now, and give attention to this.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Pól iste, atque etiam málificus.
séd tace atque hanc rém gere.

[¶94] BALLIO:
Aeschrodora, you who have for your patrons the butchers, those rivals of the procurers, who, just like ourselves, by false oaths seek their gains, do you listen; unless the three larders shall be crammed for me this day with carcases of ample weight, to-morrow, just as they say that formerly the two sons of Jupiter fastened Dirce
to the bull, aye, this day as well, will I tie you up to the larder; that, in fact, shall be your bull.

> Latin: Ballio:
Aéschrodora, tú quae amicos tíbi habes lenonum aémulos
lánios, qui, item ut nós iurando, iúre malo male quaérunt rem, audi:
nísi carnariá tria gravida tégoribus onere úberi hodie
míhi erunt, cras te quási Dircam olim, ut mémorant, duo gnatí Iovis
dévinxere ad taúrum, item ego te dístringam ad carnárium;
íd tibi profecto taúrus fiet.

[¶95] CALIDORUS: (apart.)
I’m quite enraged by the talk of this fellow;

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nímis sermone huius íra incendor.

[¶96] that we should suffer the youth of Attica to encourage here this fellow! Where are they—where are they skulking, they of mature age, who have their amorous dealings with this procurer? Why don’t they meet? Why don’t they one and all deliver the public from this pestilence?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Húncine hic hominém pati
cólere iuventutem átticam?
úbi sunt, ubi latént quibus aetas íntegra est, qui amant á lenone?
quín conveniunt? quín una omnes péste hac populum hunc líberant?

[¶97] But I am very simple, and very ignorant; they would venture, of course, to do that to those, to whom their passions compel them, to their misfortune, to be subservient, and, at the same time, prevent them from doing that against them which they would rather wish to do.
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
Hush!
CALIDORUS: (apart.)
What’s the matter?

> Latin: sed nímium stultus, nímis fui indóctus: illine aúdeant
id fácere quibus ut sérviant
suos ámor cogit?
[simul prohibet faciant adversum eos quod nolunt]
Calidorvs:
Vah táce.

[¶98] PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid est?

[¶99] Pshaw! you are not very obliging. Why are you drowning his talk by your noise?
CALIDORUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Male mórigeru’s es mihi, quóm sermoni huius óbsonas.

[¶100] I’ll be silent.
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
But I’d much rather you would be silent, than that you should say you will be silent.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Táceo.
Calidorvs:
At taceas málo multo quám tacere dicas.

[¶101] BALLIO:
And you,
Xystilis, take you care and give me your attention—you whose fanciers have large quantities of oil at home. If oil shall not be brought me here forthwith in leathern bags, I’ll to-morrow cause yourself to be carried off in a leathern bag to the prostitutes’ shambles.

> Latin: Ballio:
Tu aútem,
Xýstilis, fac ut ánimum advortas, quóius amatorés olivi
δύναμιν domi habent máxumam.
sí mihi non iam huc cúlleis
óleum deportátum erit,
te ípsam culleo égo cras faciam ut déportere—in pérgulam;

[¶102] There a bed shall be given you, I warrant, where you can have no rest, but where, even to downright fainting— You understand what’s the tendency of that which I’m saying? Will you tell me, you viper you, you who have so many of your fanciers so right well laden with their oil,
is now the head of any one of your fellow-slaves a bit the better anointed by your means, or do I, myself, get my dainty morsels a bit the better seasoned with oil for it? But I understand— you don’t care much about oil; with wine you anoint yourself. Only wait a bit; by my troth I’ll punish you for all at one spell, unless indeed this day you contrive to manage all these things that I’ve been speaking of.

> Latin: íbi tibi adeo léctus dabitur, úbi tu hau somnum cápias, sed ubi
úsque ad languorém—tenes
quó se haec tendant quaé loquor.
áin, excetra tu? quaé tibi amicos tót habes tam probe óleo onustos,
num quoípiam est hodié tua tuorum ópera conservórum
nítidiusculúm caput? aut num ipse égo pulmento utór magis
únctiusculó? sed scio, tu óleum hau magni péndis, vino
té devincis. síne modo,
réprehendam hercle ego cúncta una opera, nísi quidem hodie tu ómnia
fácis effecta haec út loquor.

[¶103] But as for you, Phœnicium, I tell you this, you pet of the mighty men—you who have been for so long a time always paying down to me your money for your liberty—you who only know how to promise, but don’t know how to pay what you have promised; unless this day all your keep is brought me here out of the stores of your customers, to-morrow, Phœnicium, with a true Phœnician hide, you’ll pay a visit to the strumpets’ shambles.
(The SLAVES go into the house of BALLIO.) (CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS come forward. BALLIO stands near his door.)

> Latin: tu aútem, quae pro cápite argentum míhi iam iamque sémper numeras,
éa pacisci módo scis, sed quod pácta es non scis sólvere,
Phoenícium, tibi ego haéc loquor, delíciae summatúm virum:
nísi hodie mi ex fúndis tuorum amícorum omne huc pénus adfertur,
crás Phoeniciúm poeniceo cório invises pérgulam.

[¶104] CALIDORUS:
Pseudolus, don’t you hear what he says?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Pseudóle, non audis quae híc loquitur?

[¶105] PSEUDOLUS:
I hear it, master, and I give good heed.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Audío, ere, equidem atque animum ádvorto.

[¶106] CALIDORUS:
What do you advise me to send him, that he mayn’t devote my mistress to dishonor?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid mi és auctor, huic út mittam, ne amícam hic meam prostítuat?

[¶107] PSEUDOLUS:
Don’t you trouble yourself about that; be of cheerful mind. I’ll manage for myself and for you. For some time past I’ve been on terms of goodwill with him, and he with me; and our friendship is of old standing. I’ll send him this day, on his birthday, a mischief heavy and well-matured.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Nil cúrassis, liquido és animo: ego pró me et pro te cúrabo.
iam díu ego huic bene et hic míhi volumus, et amícitia est antíqua:
mittam hódie huic suo die nátali malam rém magnam et matúram.

[¶108] CALIDORUS:
What’s the plan?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid opúst?

[¶109] PSEUDOLUS:
Can’t you attend to something else?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Potin aliam rem út cures?

[¶110] CALIDORUS:
But—

> Latin: Calidorvs:
At—

[¶111] PSEUDOLUS:
Tut.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Bát.

[¶112] CALIDORUS:
I’m distracted.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Crucior.

[¶113] PSEUDOLUS:
Harden your heart.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Cor dúra.

[¶114] CALIDORUS:
I cannot.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Non póssum.

[¶115] PSEUDOLUS:
Make yourself to can.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Fac possís.

[¶116] CALIDORUS:
By what means, pray, can I prevail upon my feelings?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quonam pactó possim?

[¶117] PSEUDOLUS:
Carry you out that which is to your advantage, rather than give heed with your feelings to the thing that’s disadvantageous.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vince ánimum.
in rém quod sit praevórtaris quam in re ádvorsa animo auscúltes.

[¶118] CALIDORUS:
That’s nonsense; there is no pleasure, unless a lover acts like a fool.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nugae ístaec sunt: non iúcundumst nisi amáns facit stulte.

[¶119] PSEUDOLUS:
Do you persist?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Pérgin?

[¶120] CALIDORUS:
O my dear Pseudolus, let me be undone—do let me, please.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
O Pseúdole mi, sine sím nihili,
mitte mé sis.

[¶121] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ll let you; only let me go.
(Going.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sino, modo ego ábeam.

[¶122] CALIDORUS:
Stay, stay. As you shall, then, wish me to be, so will I be.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Mane, máne, iam ut voles med ésse ita ero.

[¶123] PSEUDOLUS:
Now, at last, you are in your senses.
BALLIO: (coming forward from the door of his house to the other side of the stage.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Nunc tú sapis.

[¶124] The day is passing; I’m causing delay to myself. Boy, do you go before me.
(Moves as if going.)
CALIDORUS:
Hallo there! he’s going; why don’t you call him back?

> Latin: Ballio:
ít dies; egó mihi cesso.
í prae, puere.
Calidorvs:
Heus, ábit. quin revocas?

[¶125] PSEUDOLUS:
Why in such a hurry? Gently.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quíd properas? placide.

[¶126] CALIDORUS:
But before he’s gone.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
át prius quam abeat.

[¶127] BALLIO:
Why the plague do you go so slowly, boy?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quíd [hoc], malum, tam plácide is, puere?

[¶128] PSEUDOLUS:
You born on this day, hallo! you born on this day; I’m calling to you; hallo! you born on this day, come you back and look at us. Although you are busy,
we want you; stop—it’s because some persons want to speak to you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Hódie nate, heus, hódie nate, tíbi ego dico, heus, hódie nate,
redi ét respice ád nos. tamétsi occupátu’s es,
morámur. mane, ém conloquí qui volúnt te.

[¶129] BALLIO:
What’s this? Who is it, when I’m busy, causes me unseasonable delay?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid hóc est? quis ést qui morám mi occupáto
moléstam optulit?

[¶130] PSEUDOLUS:
He that has been your supporter.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Qui tibí sospitalis
fuít.

[¶131] BALLIO:
He’s dead that has been; only he that is, is now alive.

> Latin: Ballio:
Mortuóst qui fuít: qui sit úsust.

[¶132] PSEUDOLUS:
You are too saucy.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Nímis superbe.

[¶133] BALLIO:
You are too troublesome.
(Turns away to go on.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Nímis molestus.

[¶134] CALIDORUS:
Seize the fellow: follow him up.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Réprehende hominem, adséquere.

[¶135] BALLIO:
Go on, boy.

> Latin: Ballio:
I puere.

[¶136] PSEUDOLUS:
Let’s go and meet him this way.
(They run and stand before him.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Occédamus hác obviám.

[¶137] BALLIO:
May Jupiter confound you, whoever you are.

> Latin: Ballio:
Iuppitér te
perdát, quisquis és.

[¶138] PSEUDOLUS:
That for yourself I wish.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Te volo.

[¶139] BALLIO:
And for both of you do I. Turn you this way, boy.
(Takes another direction.)

> Latin: Ballio:
át vos ego ámbos.
vorte hác te, puere.

[¶140] PSEUDOLUS:
May we not speak with you?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Non licét conloquí te?

[¶141] BALLIO:
Why, it doesn’t please me.

> Latin: Ballio:
At míhi non lubét.

[¶142] PSEUDOLUS:
But if it’s something to your advantage?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sin tuámst quippiam ín rem?

[¶143] BALLIO:
Am I allowed to go away, pray, or am I not?

> Latin: Ballio:
Licétne, opsecró, bitere án non licet?

[¶144] PSEUDOLUS:
Pshaw!
Stop.
(Catches hold of him.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vah,
mánta.

[¶145] BALLIO:
Let me go.

> Latin: Ballio:
Omitte.

[¶146] CALIDORUS:
Ballio, listen.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Bállio, audi.

[¶147] BALLIO:
I’m deaf.
CALIDORUS:
Really, you are uncivil.
BALLIO:
You are a chatterer of nonsense.

> Latin: Ballio:
Súrdus sum † profecto inanilogistae.

[¶148] CALIDORUS:
I gave you money so long as I had it.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Dedí dum fuít.

[¶149] BALLIO:
I’m not asking what you gave.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non petó quod dedísti.

[¶150] CALIDORUS:
I’ll give you some when I have it.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Dabó quando erít.

[¶151] BALLIO:
When you have it, bring it to me.

> Latin: Ballio:
Ducitó quando habébis.

[¶152] CALIDORUS:
Alas, alas! In what a foolish fashion have I lavished what I brought to you, and what I gave you.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
éheu, quam ego malis pérdidi modis
quód tibi détuli et quód dedi.

[¶153] BALLIO:
Your wealth defunct,
you now are talking about it; you are a simpleton, a cause that has been tried you are trying over again.

> Latin: Ballio:
Mórtua
vérba re núnc facis; stúltus es, rem áctam agis.

[¶154] PSEUDOLUS:
At least consider him, who he is.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Nósce saltem húnc quis est.

[¶155] BALLIO:
I’ve known for a long time now who he was; who he now is, let him know himself. Do you walk on (to the BOY).

> Latin: Ballio:
Iám diu scio
quí fuit: núnc qui sit ipsús sciat.
ámbula tú.

[¶156] PSEUDOLUS:
And can’t you, Ballio, only once give a look this way for your own profit?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Potin út semel modo,
Bállio, huc cúm lucro respícias?

[¶157] BALLIO:
At that price I’ll give a look; for if I were sacrificing to supreme Jupiter, and were presenting the entrails in my hands to lay them on the altar, if in the meanwhile anything in the way of profit were offered, I should in preference forsake the sacrifice. There’s no being able to resist that sort of piety, however other things go.
PSEUDOLUS: (aside.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Réspiciam istoc prétio; nam si sácruficem summó Iovi
atque in manibus exta teneam, ut poriciam, interea loci
si lucri quid detur, potius rem divinam deseram.
non potest pietati opsisti huíc, utut rés sunt ceterae.

[¶158] The very Gods, whom it is especially our duty to reverence—them he esteems of little value.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Deos quidem, quos maxume aequom est metuere, eos minimi facit.

[¶159] BALLIO:
I’ll speak to him. Hail to you, right heartily, the very vilest slave in Athens.

> Latin: Ballio:
Compellabo. salve multum, serve Athenis pessume.

[¶160] PSEUDOLUS:
May the Gods and Goddesses favour you, Ballio, both at his wish and at my own; or, if you are deserving of other terms, let them neither favour nor bless you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Di te deaeque ament vel huius arbitratu vel meo,
vel, si dignu’s es alio pacto, neque ament nec faciant bene.

[¶161] BALLIO:
What’s the matter, Calidorus?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid agitur, Calidore?

[¶162] CALIDORUS:
Love and pinching want are the matter.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Amatur atque egetur acriter.

[¶163] BALLIO:
I would pity you, if, upon pity I could support my establishment.

> Latin: Ballio:
Misereat, si familiam alere possim misericordia.

[¶164] PSEUDOLUS:
Aye, aye, we know you quite well, what sort of character you are; don’t be proclaiming it. But do you know what we want?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Heia, scimus nos quidem te qualis sis; ne praedices.
sed scin quid nos volumus?

[¶165] BALLIO:
I’ faith, I know it pretty nearly; that there may be something unfortunate for me.

> Latin: Ballio:
Pol ego propemodum: ut male sit mihi.

[¶166] PSEUDOLUS:
Both to that and this for which we called you back, prithee do give your attention.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Et id et hoc quod te revocamus. quaeso animum advorte.

[¶167] BALLIO:
I am attending; but compress into a few words what you want, as I’m busy now.

> Latin: Ballio:
Audio.
atque in pauca, ut occupatus nunc sum, confer quid velis.

[¶168] PSEUDOLUS:
He (pointing to CALIDORUS) is quite ashamed about what he promised you, and the day for which he promised it,
that he hasn’t even yet paid you those twenty minae for his mistress.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Hunc pudet, quod tibi promisit quaque id promisit die,
quia tibi minas viginti pró amica etiam non dedit.

[¶169] BALLIO:
That which we are ashamed at is much more easily endured than that which we are vexed at. At not having paid the money, he is ashamed; I, because I have not received it, am vexed.

> Latin: Ballio:
Nimio id quod pudet facilius fertur quam illud quod piget.
non dedisse istunc pudet: me quia non accepi piget.

[¶170] PSEUDOLUS:
Still, he’ll pay it, he’ll procure it; do you only wait some days to come. But he has been afraid of this, that you’ll sell her on account of his embarrassment.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At dabit, parabit: aliquot hos dies manta modo.
nám hic id metuit, ne illam vendas ob simultatem suam.

[¶171] BALLIO:
He had an opportunity, had he wished, of paying the money long ago.

> Latin: Ballio:
Fuit occasio, si vellet, iam pridem argentum ut daret.

[¶172] CALIDORUS:
What if I had it not?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid, si non habui?

[¶173] BALLIO:
If you had been in love, you would have found it on loan. You would have gone to the usurer; you would have paid the interest; or else you would have pilfered it from your father.

> Latin: Ballio:
Si amabas, invenires mutuom,
ad danistam devenires, adderes faenusculum,
surruperes patri.

[¶174] PSEUDOLUS:
Ought he to have pilfered it from his father, you most shameless villain? There is no fear that you’ll point out to him anything that’s right.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Surruperet hic patri, audacissume?
non periclumst ne quid recte monstres.

[¶175] BALLIO:
That’s not like a procurer.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non lenoniumst.

[¶176] CALIDORUS:
And could I possibly pilfer anything from my father, an old man so much on his guard? And besides, if I could do so, filial affection forbids.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Egon patri surrupere possim quicquam, tam cauto seni?
atque adeo, si facere possim, pietas prohibet.

[¶177] BALLIO:
I understand you; do you then at night embrace filial affection in place of Phœnicium. But since I see you prefer your filial affection to your love—are all men your fathers? Is there no one for you to ask
to lend you some money?

> Latin: Ballio:
Audio.
pietatem ergo istam amplexator noctu pro Phoenicio.
sed cum pietatem te amori video tuo praevortere,
omnes ⟨homines⟩ tibi patres sunt? nullus est tibi quem roges
mutuom argentum?

[¶178] CALIDORUS:
Why, the very name of lending’s dead and gone by this.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quin nomen quoque iam interiit mutuom.

[¶179] PSEUDOLUS:
Look you now; since, i’ faith, those fellows arose from the banker’s table, with a filled skin, who, when they called in their own, paid what they had borrowed to no born creature, since then, I say, all people have been more cautious not to trust another.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Heus tu, postquam hercle isti a mensa surgunt satis poti viri,
qui suom repetunt, alienum reddunt nato nemini,
postilla omnes cautiores sunt, ne credant alteri.

[¶180] CALIDORUS:
Most wretched am I; nowhere am I able to find a coin of silver;

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nimis miser sum, nummum nusquam reperire argenti queo;

[¶181] so distractedly am I perishing both through love and want of money.

> Latin: ita miser et amore pereo et inopia argentaria.

[¶182] BALLIO:
Buy oil on credit, and sell it for ready money; then, i’ faith, even two hundred minae ready money might be raised.

> Latin: Ballio:
Eme die caeca hercle olivom, id vendito oculata die:
iam hercle vel ducentae fieri possunt praesentes minae.

[¶183] CALIDORUS:
There I’m done; the twenty-five year old law founders me. All are afraid to trust me.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Perii, annorum lex me perdit quinavicenaria.
metuont credere omnes.

[¶184] BALLIO:
The same law have I. I’m afraid to trust you.

> Latin: Ballio:
Eadem est mihi lex: metuo credere.

[¶185] PSEUDOLUS:
To trust him, indeed! How now, do you repent of the great profit he has been to you?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Credere autem? eho an paenitet te, quanto hic fuerit usui?

[¶186] BALLIO:
No lover is a profitable one, except him who keeps continually making presents. Either let him be always giving, or when he has nothing, let him at the same time cease to be in love.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non est usu quisquam amator nisi qui perpetuat data;
det, det usque: quando nil sit, simul amare desinat.

[¶187] CALIDORUS:
And don’t you pity me at all?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nilne te miseret?

[¶188] BALLIO:
You come empty-handed; words don’t chink. But I wish you life and health.

> Latin: Ballio:
Inanis cedis, dicta non sonant.
atque ego te vivom salvomque vellem.

[¶189] PSEUDOLUS:
Heyday! Is he dead already?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eho an iam mortuost?

[¶190] BALLIO:
However he is, to me indeed, at all events, with these speeches, he is dead. Then, does a lover really live, when he comes begging to a procurer? Do you always come to me with a complaint that brings its money. As for that, which you are now lamenting about, that you have got no money, complain of it to your stepmother.

> Latin: Ballio:
Vtut est, mihi quidem profecto cum istis dictis mortuost:
ilico vixit amator, ubi lenoni supplicat.
semper tu ad me cum argentata accedito querimonia;
nam istuc quod nunc lamentare, non esse argentum tibi,
apud novercam querere.

[¶191] PSEUDOLUS:
Why, have you ever been married to his father, pray?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eho an umquam tu huius nupsisti patri?

[¶192] BALLIO:
May the Gods grant better things.

> Latin: Ballio:
Di melius faciant.

[¶193] PSEUDOLUS:
Do what we ask you, Ballio, on my credit, if you are afraid to trust him. Within the next three days, from some quarter, in some way, either by land or sea, I’ll rout up this money for you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Face hoc quod te rogamus, Ballio,
mea fide, si isti formidas credere. ego in hoc triduo
aut terra aut marí alicunde evolvam id argentum tibi.

[¶194] BALLIO:
I, trust you?

> Latin: Ballio:
Tibi ego credam?

[¶195] PSEUDOLUS:
Why not?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quor non?

[¶196] BALLIO:
Because, i’ faith, on the same principle that I trust you, on that principle I should tie a run-away dog to a lamb’s fry.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quia pol quá opera credam tibi,
una opera alligem fugitivam canem agninis lactibus.

[¶197] CALIDORUS:
Is the obligation thus ungratefully returned by you to me, who have deserved so well of you?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Sicine mi abs te bene merenti male refertur gratia?

[¶198] BALLIO:
What do you want now?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid nunc vis?

[¶199] CALIDORUS:
That you will only wait these six days of the Feast, and will not sell her or prove the death of the person who loves her.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Vt opperiare hos sex dies aliquos modo,
ne illam vendas neu me perdas hominem amantem.

[¶200] BALLIO:
Be of good courage; I’ll wait six months even.

> Latin: Ballio:
Animo bono es.
vel sex menses opperibor.

[¶201] CALIDORUS:
Capital—most delightful man!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Euge, homo lepidissume.

[¶202] BALLIO:
Aye; and do you wish, too, that from joyful I should make you even more joyous?

> Latin: Ballio:
Immo vin etiam te faciam ex laeto laetantem magis?

[¶203] CALIDORUS:
How so?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid iam?

[¶204] BALLIO:
Why, because I’ve got no Phœnicium to sell.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quia enim non venalem iám habeo Phoenicium.

[¶205] CALIDORUS:
Not got her?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Non habes?

[¶206] BALLIO:
I’ faith, not I, indeed.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non hercle vero.

## 2. Lines 326–656

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/2/#p-N

[¶0] CALIDORUS:
Pseudolus, go fetch the sacrifice, the victims, the sacrificers, that I may make offering to this supreme Jove. For this Jupiter is now much more mighty to me than is Jupiter himself.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Pseudole, ei accerse hostias,
victumas, lanios, ut ego huic sacruficem summo Iovi;
nam hic mihi nunc est multo potior Iuppiter quam Iuppiter.

[¶1] BALLIO:
I want no victims; with the entrails of minae I wish to be appeased.
CALIDORUS: (to PSEUDOLUS.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Nolo victumas: agninis me extis placari volo.

[¶2] Make haste. Why do you hesitate? Go fetch the lambs; do you hear what Jupiter says?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Propera, quid stas? ei accerse agnos. audin quid ait Iuppiter?

[¶3] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ll be here this moment; but first I must run as far as beyond the gate.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Iam hic ero; verum extra portam mi etiam currendumst prius.

[¶4] CALIDORUS:
Why thither?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid eo?

[¶5] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ll fetch two sacrificers thence, with their bells; at the same time I’ll fetch thence two bundles of elm twigs, that this day a sufficiency may be provided for the sacrifice to this Jove.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Lanios inde accersam duo cum tintinnabulis,
eadem duo greges virgarum inde ulmearum adegero,
ut hodie ad litationem huic suppetat satias Iovi.

[¶6] BALLIO:
Away to utter perdition.

> Latin: Ballio:
I in malam crucem.

[¶7] PSEUDOLUS:
Thither shall the pimping Jupiter go.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Istuc ibit Iuppiter lenonius.

[¶8] BALLIO:
It isn’t for your interest that I should die.

> Latin: Ballio:
[Ex tua re est, ut ego emoriar.]

[¶9] PSEUDOLUS:
How so?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
[Quidum?]

[¶10] BALLIO:
This way; because, if I’m dead, there will be no one worse than yourself in Athens. For your interest (to CALIDORUS) it is that I should die.
CALIDORUS:
How so?

> Latin: Ballio:
[Ego dicam tibi:]
[quia edepol, dum ego vivos vivam, numquam eris frugi bonae.]
Ballio:
Ex tua re non est, ut ego emoriar.
Psevdolvs:
Quidum?

[¶11] BALLIO:
I’ll tell you; because, i’ faith, so long as I shall be alive, you’ll never be a man well to do.

> Latin: Ballio:
Sic, quia
sí ego emortuos sim, Athenis te sit nemo nequior.

[¶12] CALIDORUS:
Troth now, prithee, in serious truth, tell me this that I ask you—have you not got my mistress, Phœnicium, on sale?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Dic mihi, obsecro hercle, verum serio hoc quod te rogo.
non habes venalem amicam tu meam Phoenicium?

[¶13] BALLIO:
By my faith, I really have not; for I’ve now sold her already.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non edepol habeo profecto, nam iam pridem vendidi.

[¶14] CALIDORUS:
In what way?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quo modo?

[¶15] BALLIO:
Without her trappings, with all her inwards.

> Latin: Ballio:
Sine ornamentis, cum intestinis omnibus.

[¶16] CALIDORUS:
What? Have you sold my mistress?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Meam tu amicam vendidisti?

[¶17] BALLIO:
Decidedly; for twenty minae.

> Latin: Ballio:
Valde, viginti minis.

[¶18] CALIDORUS:
For twenty minae?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Viginti minis?

[¶19] BALLIO:
Or, in other words, for four times five minae, whichever you please, to a Macedonian Captain; and I’ve already got fifteen of the minae at home.

> Latin: Ballio:
Vtrum vis, vel quater quinis minis,
militi Macedonio, et iam quindecím habeo minas.

[¶20] CALIDORUS:
What is it that I hear of you?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid ego ex te audio?

[¶21] BALLIO:
That your mistress has been turned into money.

> Latin: Ballio:
Amicam tuam esse factam argenteam.

[¶22] CALIDORUS:
Why did you dare to do so?
BALLIO:’Twas my pleasure; she was my own.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Cur id ausu’s es facere?
Ballio:
Libuit, mea fuit.

[¶23] CALIDORUS:
Hallo! Pseudolus. Run, fetch me a sword.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Eho, Pseudole,
ei, gladium adfer.

[¶24] PSEUDOLUS:
What need is there of a sword?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid opus gladio?

[¶25] CALIDORUS:
With which to kill this fellow this instant, and then myself.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Qui hunc occidam atque me.

[¶26] PSEUDOLUS:
But why not kill yourself only rather? For famine will soon be killing him.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quin tu ted occidis potius? nam hunc fames iam occiderit.

[¶27] CALIDORUS:
What do you say, most perjured of men as many as are living upon the earth? Did you not take an oath that you would sell her to no person besides myself?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid ais, quantum terra † tegit hominum periurissume?
iuravistin te illam nulli venditurum nisi mihi?

[¶28] BALLIO:
I confess it.

> Latin: Ballio:
Fateor.

[¶29] CALIDORUS:
In solemn form, to wit.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Nempe concéptis verbis?

[¶30] BALLIO:
Aye, and well considered too.

> Latin: Ballio:
Etiam consutis quoque.

[¶31] CALIDORUS:
You have proved perjured, you villain.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Periuravisti, sceleste.

[¶32] BALLIO:
I sacked the money at home, however.

> Latin: Ballio:
At argentum intro condidi.

[¶33] Villain as I am, I am now able to draw upon a stock of silver in my house; whereas you who are so dutiful, and born of that grand family, haven’t a single coin.

> Latin: ego scelestus nunc argentum promere possum domo:
tu qui pius, istoc es genere gnatus, nummum non habes.

[¶34] CALIDORUS:
Pseudolus, stand by him on the other side and load this fellow with imprecations.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Pseudole, adsiste altrim secus atque onera hunc maledictis.

[¶35] PSEUDOLUS:
Very well. Never would I run to the Praetor with equal speed that I might be made free.
(Stands on the other side of BALLIO.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Licet.
numquam ad praetorem aeque cursim curram, ut emittar manu.

[¶36] CALIDORUS:
Heap on him a multitude of curses.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ingere mala multa.

[¶37] PSEUDOLUS:
Now will I publish you with my rebukes.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Iam ego te differam dictis meis.

[¶38] Thou lackshame!
BALLIO:’Tis the fact.
PSEUDOLUS:
Villain!
BALLIO:
You say the truth.
PSEUDOLUS:
Whipping-post!

> Latin: impudice.
Ballio:
Itast.
Calidorvs:
Sceleste.
Ballio:
Dicis vera.
Psevdolvs:
Verbero.

[¶39] BALLIO:
Why not?
PSEUDOLUS:
Robber of tombs!

> Latin: Ballio:
Quippini?
Calidorvs:
Bustirape.

[¶40] BALLIO:
No doubt.

> Latin: Ballio:
Certo.

[¶41] PSEUDOLUS:
Gallows-bird!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Furcifer.

[¶42] BALLIO:
Very well done.

> Latin: Ballio:
Factum optume.

[¶43] PSEUDOLUS:
Cheater of your friends!
BALLIO:
That’s in my way.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Sociofraude.
Ballio:
Sunt mea istaec.

[¶44] PSEUDOLUS:
Parricide!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Parricida.

[¶45] BALLIO:
Proceed, you.

> Latin: Ballio:
Perge tu.

[¶46] CALIDORUS:
Committer of sacrilege!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Sacrilege.

[¶47] BALLIO:
I own it.
CALIDORUS:
Perjurer!

> Latin: Ballio:
Fateor.
Psevdolvs:
Periure.

[¶48] BALLIO:
You’re telling nothing new.

> Latin: Ballio:
Vetera vaticinamini.

[¶49] CALIDORUS:
Lawbreaker!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Legirupa.

[¶50] BALLIO:
Very much so.

> Latin: Ballio:
Valide.

[¶51] PSEUDOLUS:
Pest of youth!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Permities adulescentum.

[¶52] BALLIO:
Most severely said.

> Latin: Ballio:
Acerrume.

[¶53] CALIDORUS:
Thief!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Fur.

[¶54] BALLIO:
Oh! wonderful!

> Latin: Ballio:
Babae.

[¶55] PSEUDOLUS:
Vagabond!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Fugitive.

[¶56] BALLIO:
Pooh! pooh!

> Latin: Ballio:
Bombax.

[¶57] CALIDORUS:
Defrauder of the public!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Fraus populi.

[¶58] BALLIO:
Most decidedly so.

> Latin: Ballio:
Planissume.

[¶59] PSEUDOLUS:
Cheating scoundrel!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Fraudulente.

[¶60] CALIDORUS:
Filthy
pander!

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Impure.

[¶61] PSEUDOLUS:
Lump of filth!

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Leno.
Calidorvs:
Caenum.

[¶62] BALLIO:
A capital chorus.

> Latin: Ballio:
Cantores probos.

[¶63] CALIDORUS:
You beat your father and mother.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Verberavisti patrem atque matrem.

[¶64] BALLIO:
Aye, and killed them, too, rather than find them food; did I do wrong at all?

> Latin: Ballio:
Atque occidi quoque,
potius quam cibum praehiberem: num peccavi quippiam?

[¶65] PSEUDOLUS:
We are pouring our words into a pierced cask: we are losing our pains.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
In pertusum ingerimus dicta dolium, operam ludimus.

[¶66] BALLIO:
Would you like to call me anything else besides?

> Latin: Ballio:
Numquid aliud etiam voltis dicere?

[¶67] CALIDORUS:
Is there anything that shames you?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ecquid te pudet?

[¶68] BALLIO:
Yes; that you have been found to be a lover as empty as a rotten nut. But although you have used towards me expressions many and harsh, unless the Captain shall bring me this day the five minae that he owes me, as this was the last day appointed for the payment of that money,
if he doesn’t bring it, I think that I am able to do my duty.

> Latin: Ballio:
Ten, amatorem esse inventum inanem quasi cassam nucem?
verum quamquam multa malaque dicta dixistis mihi,
nisi mihi hodie attulerit miles quinque quas debet minas,
sicut haec est praestituta summa ei argento dies,
si id non adfert, posse opinor facere me officium meum.

[¶69] CALIDORUS:
What is that duty?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid id est?

[¶70] BALLIO:
If you bring the money, I’ll break faith with him; that’s my duty. If it were more worth my while, I would talk further with you. But, without a coin of money,’tis in vain that you request me to have pity upon you. Such is my determination; but do you, from this, consider what you have henceforth to do?
(Moves.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Si tu argentum attuleris, cum illo perdidero fidem:
hoc meum est officium. ego, operae si sit, plus tecum loquar;
sed sine argénto frustra es qui me tui misereri postulas.
haec meast sententia, ut tu hinc porro quid agas consulas.

[¶71] CALIDORUS:
Are you going then?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Iamne abis?

[¶72] BALLIO:
At present I am full of business.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Negoti nunc sum plenus.—

[¶73] PSEUDOLUS:
Before long you’ll be more so. That man is my own, unless all Gods and men forsake me. I’ll bone him just in the same fashion that a cook does a lamprey. Now, Calidorus, I wish you to give me your attention.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Paulo post magis.
illic homo meus est, nisi omnes di me atque homines deserunt.
exossabo ego illúm simulter itidem ut murenam coquos.
nunc, Calidore, te mihi operam dare volo.

[¶74] CALIDORUS:
What do you bid me do?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Ecquid imperas?

[¶75] PSEUDOLUS:
I wish to lay siege to this town, that this day it may be taken.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Hoc ego oppidum admoenire, ut hodie capiatur, volo;

[¶76] For that purpose, I have need of an artful, clever, knowing, and crafty fellow, who may despatch out of hand what he is ordered, not one to go to sleep upon his watch.

> Latin: ad eam rem usust homine astuto, docto, cauto et callido,
qui imperata ecfecta reddat, non qui vigilans dormiat.

[¶77] CALIDORUS:
Tell me, then, what you are going to do?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Cedo mihi, quid es facturus?

[¶78] PSEUDOLUS:
In good time I’ll let you know. I don’t care for it to be repeated twice; stories are made too long that way.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Temperi ego faxo scies.
nolo bis iterari, sat sic longae fiunt fabulae.

[¶79] CALIDORUS:
You plead what’s very fair and very just.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Optumum atque aequissimum oras.

[¶80] PSEUDOLUS:
Make haste; bring the fellow hither quickly.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Propera, adduc hominem cito.

[¶81] CALIDORUS:
Out of many, there are but few friends that are to be depended upon by a person.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Pauci ex multis sunt amici, hómini qui certi sient.

[¶82] PSEUDOLUS:
I know that; therefore, get for yourself now a choice of both, and seek out of these many one that can be depended upon.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Ego scio istuc. ergo utrumque, tibi nunc dilectum para
ex multis atque exquire illinc unum qui certus siet.

[¶83] CALIDORUS:
I’ll have him here this instant.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Iam hic faxo aderit.—

[¶84] PSEUDOLUS:
Can’t you be off then? You create delay for yourself by your talking.
(Exit CALIDORUS.) (PSEUDOLUS, alone.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Potin ut abeas? tibi moram dictis creas.

[¶85] PSEUDOLUS:
Since he has gone hence, you are now standing alone, Pseudolus.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
postquam illic hinc abiit, tu astas solus, Pseudole.

[¶86] What are you to do now, after you have so largely promised costly delights to your master’s son by your speeches? You, for whom not even one drop of sure counsel is ready, nor yet of silver * * * * nor have you where first you must begin your undertaking,
nor yet fixed limits for finishing off your web. But just as the poet, when he has taken up his tablets, seeks what nowhere in the world exists, and still finds it, and makes that like truth which really is a fiction; now I’ll become a poet; twenty minae,
which no-where in the world are now existing, still will I find. And some time since had I said that I would find them for him, and I had attempted to throw a net over our old gentleman; however, by what means I know not, he perceived it beforehand. But my voice and my talking must be stopped;

> Latin: quid nunc acturu’s es, postquam erili filio
largitu’s es dictis dapsilis? ubi sunt ea?
quoi neque paratast gutta certi consili,
[neque adeo argenti—neque nunc quid faciam scio.]
neque exordiri primum unde occipias habes,
neque ad détexundam telam certos terminos.
sed quasi poeta, tabulas cum cepit sibi,
quaerit quod nusquamst gentium, reperit tamen,
facit illud veri simile, quod mendacium est,
nunc ego poeta fiam: viginti minas,
quae nusquam nunc sunt gentium, inveniam tamen.
[atque ego me iam pridem huic daturum dixeram]
[et volui inicere tragulam in nostrum senem;]
[verum is nescio quo pacto praesensit prius.]
sed comprimundast vox mihi atque oratio:

[¶87] for, see! I perceive my master, Simo, coming this way, together with his neighbour, Callipho. Out of this old sepulchre will I dig twenty minae this day, to give them to my master’s son. Now I’ll step aside here, that I may pick up their conversation.
(He stands apart.) (Enter SIMO and CALLIPHO.)

> Latin: erum eccum video húc Simonem una simul
cum suo vicino Calliphone incedere.
ex hoc sepulcro vetere viginti minas
effodiam ego hodie, quas dem erili filio.
nunc huc concedam, unde horum sermonem legam.

[¶88] SIMO:
If now a Dictator were to be appointed at Athens of Attica out of the spendthrifts or out of the gallants, I do think that no one would surpass my son. For now the only talk of all throughout the city is to the effect that he is trying to set his mistress free,
and is seeking after money for that purpose. Some people bring me word of this; and, in fact, I had long ago perceived it, and had suspected it, but I dissembled on it.

> Latin: Simo:
Si de damnosis aut si dé amatoribus
dictator fiat nunc Athenis Atticis,
nemo anteveniat filio, credo, meo:
ita nunc per urbem solus sermoni omnibust,
eum velle amicam liberare et quaerere
argentum ad eam rem. hoc alii mihi renuntiant;
atque id iam pridem sensi et subolebat mihi,
sed dissimulabam.

[¶89] PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
Already is his son suspected by him; this affair is nipt in the bud, this business is at a stand-still.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Iám illi fetet filius.
occisa est haec res, haeret hoc negotium.

[¶90] The way is now entirely blocked up against me, by which I had intended to go a-foraging for the money.

> Latin: quo in commeatum volui árgentarium
proficisci, ibi nunc oppido opsaeptast via.

[¶91] He has perceived it beforehand. There’s no booty for the marauders.

> Latin: praesensit: nihil est praedae praedatoribus.

[¶92] CALLIPHO:
Those men who carry about and who listen to accusations, should all be hanged, if so it could be at my decision, the carriers by their tongues, the listeners by their ears.

> Latin: Callipho:
Homines qui gestant quique auscultant crimina,
si meo arbitratu liceat, omnes pendeant,
gestores linguis, auditores auribus.

[¶93] For these things that are told you, that your son in his amour is desirous to chouse you out of money, the chance is that these things so told you are all lies. But sappose they are true, as habits are, now-a-days especially, what has he done so surprising? What new thing, if a young man
does love, and if he does liberate his mistress?
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
A delightful old gentleman.

> Latin: nam istaec quae tibi renuntiantur, filium
te velle amantem argento circumducere,
fors fuat an istaec dicta sint mendacia;
sed si sint ea vera, ut nunc mos est, maxume,
quid mirum fecit? quid novom, adulescens homo
si amat, si amicam liberat?
Psevdolvs:
Lepidum senem.

[¶94] SIMO:
I don’t wish him to follow the old-fashioned habits.

> Latin: Simo:
Vetus nólo faciat.

[¶95] CALLIPHO:
But still, in vain do you object; or you yourself shouldn’t have done the like in your youthful days. It befits the father to be immaculate, who wishes his son to be more immaculate than he has been himself.

> Latin: Callipho:
At enim nequiquam nevis;
vel tu ne faceres tale in adulescentia.
probum patrem esse oportet qui gnatum suom
essé probiorem quam ipsus fuerit postulet.

[¶96] But the mischief and the profligacy you were guilty of might have been distributed throughout the whole population, a share for each man. Are you surprised at it, if the son does take after the father?
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)

> Latin: nam tu quod damni et quod fecisti flagiti
populo viritim potuit dispertirier.
idne tú mirare, si patrissat filius?

[¶97] O Zeus, Zeus! how few in number are you considerate men. See, that’s being a father to a son, just as is proper.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
ὦ Ζεῦ, quam pauci éstis homines commodi. em,
illic ést pater patrem esse ut aequom est filio.

[¶98] SIMO:
Who is it that’s speaking here? (Looking round.) Why, surely ’tis my servant Pseudolus.’Tis he corrupts my son, the wicked scoundrel; he is his leader, he his tutor. I long for him to be put to extreme torture.

> Latin: Simo:
Quis hic lóquitur? meus est hic quidem sérvos Pseudolus.
hic mihi corrumpit filium, scelerum caput;
hic dux, hic illi est paedagogus, hunc ego
cupio excruciari.

[¶99] CALLIPHO:
This is folly now, thus to keep your anger in readiness. How much better were it
to accost him with kind words and to make all enquiries, whether these things are true or not that they tell you of?

> Latin: Callipho:
Iam istaec insipientiast,
iram in promptu gerere. quanto satius est
adire blandis verbis atque exquaerere,
sintne illa necne sint quae tibi renuntiant.
bonus animus in mala re dimidiumst mali.

[¶100] SIMO:
I’ll take your advice.

> Latin: Simo:
Tibi auscultabo.

[¶101] PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
They are making towards you, Pseudolus; prepare your speech to meet the old fellow.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Itur ad te, Pseudole.
orationem tibi para advorsum senem.

[¶102] Good courage in a bad case is half the evil got over. (Aloud, as he advances to meet them.) First, I salute my master, as is proper; and alter that, if anything is left, that I bestow upon his neighbour.

> Latin: erum saluto primum, ut aequomst; postea,
si quid superfit, vicinos impertio.

[¶103] SIMO:
Good day to you. What are you about?

> Latin: Simo:
Salve. quid agitur?

[¶104] PSEUDOLUS:
About standing here in this fashion (assuming an attitude).

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Statur hic ad hunc modum.

[¶105] SIMO:
See the attitude of the fellow, Callipho; how like that of a man of rank.

> Latin: Simo:
Statum vide hominis, Callipho, quam basilicum.

[¶106] CALLIPHO:
I consider that he is standing properly and with boldness.

> Latin: Callipho:
Bene confidenterque adstitisse intellego.

[¶107] PSEUDOLUS:
It befits a servant innocent and guileless, as he is, to be bold, most especially before his master.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Decet innocentem qui sit atque innoxium
servom superbum esse, apud erum potissimum.

[¶108] CALLIPHO:
There are some things about which we wish to inquire of you, which we ourselves know and have heard of as though through a cloud of mist.

> Latin: Callipho:
Sunt quae te volumus percontari, quae quasi
per nebulam nosmet scimus atque audivimus.

[¶109] SIMO:
He’ll manage you now with his speeches, so that you shall think
it isn’t Pseudolus but Socrates that’s talking to you. What do you say?

> Latin: Simo:
Conficiet iam te hic verbis, ut tu censeas
non Pseudolum, sed Socratem tecum loqui.

[¶110] PSEUDOLUS:
For a long time you have held me in contempt, I know. I see that you have but little confidence in me. You wish me to be a villain; still, I will be of strict honesty.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Itast, iam pridem tu me spernis, sentio.
parvam esse apud te mihi fidem ipse intellego.
cupis me ésse nequam: tamen ero frugi bonae.

[¶111] SIMO:
Take care, please, and make the recesses of your ears free, Pseudolus,
that my words may be enabled to enter where I desire.

> Latin: Simo:
Fac sis vocivas, Pseudole, aedis aurium,
mea ut migrare dicta possint quo volo.

[¶112] PSEUDOLUS:
Come, say anything you please, although I am angry at you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Age loquere quidvis, tametsi tibi suscenseo.

[¶113] SIMO:
What, you, a slave, angry at me your master?

> Latin: Simo:
Mihin dómino servos tu suscenses?

[¶114] PSEUDOLUS:
And does that seem wonderful to you?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tam tibi
mirum id videtur?

[¶115] SIMO:
Why, by my troth, according to what you say, I must be on my guard against you in your anger, and you are thinking of beating me in no other way than I am wont to beat yourself.

> Latin: Simo:
Hercle qui, ut tu praedicas,
cavendum est mi aps te irato; atque alio tu modo
me verberare atque ego te soleo cogitas.

[¶116] What do you think?
(To CALLIPHO.)
CALLIPHO:
I’ faith, I think that he’s angry with good reason, since you have so little confidence in him.

> Latin: quid censes?
Callipho:
Edepol merito esse iratum arbitror,
quom apud te parvast ei fides.

[¶117] SIMO:
I’ll leave him alone then. Let him be angry: I’ll take care that he shall do me no harm. But what do you say? What as to that which I was asking you?

> Latin: Simo:
Iam sic sino;
iratus sit: ego, ne quid noceat, cavero.
sed quid ais? quid hoc, quod te rogo?

[¶118] PSEUDOLUS:
If you want anything, ask me.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sí quid vis, roga.

[¶119] What I know, do you consider given you as a response at Delphi.

> Latin: quod scibo, Delphis tibi responsum dicito.

[¶120] SIMO:
Give your attention then, and take care and please mind your promise. What do you say? Do you know that my son is in love with a certain music-girl?

> Latin: Simo:
Advorte ergo animum et fac sis promissi memor.
quid ais? ecquam scis filium tibicinam
meum amare?

[¶121] PSEUDOLUS:
Yea, verily.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
ναὶ γάρ.

[¶122] SIMO:
Whom he is trying to make free?

> Latin: Simo:
Liberare quam velit?

[¶123] PSEUDOLUS:
Yea, verily and indeed.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
καὶ τοῦτο ναὶ γάρ.

[¶124] SIMO:
And you are scheming by cajolery and by cunning tricks to get twenty minae in ready money out of me?

> Latin: Simo:
Ecquas viginti minas
[per sycophantiam atque per doctos dolos]
paritas ut auferas a me?

[¶125] PSEUDOLUS:
I, get them out of you?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Abs te ego auferam?

[¶126] SIMO:
Just so; to give them to my son, with which to liberate his mistress. Do you confess it? Speak out.

> Latin: Simo:
Ita, quas meo gnato des, qui amicam liberet?
fatere, dic.

[¶127] PSEUDOLUS:
Yea, verily; yea, verily.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
καὶ τοῦτο ναί, καὶ τοῦτο ναί.

[¶128] SIMO:
He confesses it.
Didn’t I tell you so just now, Callipho?

> Latin: Callipho:
Fatetur.
Simo:
Dixin, Callipho, dudum tibi?

[¶129] CALLIPHO:
So I remember.

> Latin: Callipho:
Memini.

[¶130] SIMO:
Why, directly you knew of these things, were they kept concealed from me? Why wasn’t I made acquainted with them?

> Latin: Simo:
Quor haec, tu ubi rescivisti ilico,
celata me sunt? quor non rescivi?

[¶131] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ll tell you: because I was unwilling that a bad custom should originate in me, for a servant to accuse his master before his master.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eloquar.
quia nolebam ex me morem progigni malum,
erum ut servos criminaret apud erum.

[¶132] SIMO:
Wouldn’t you order this fellow to be dragged head first to the treadmills?

> Latin: Simo:
Iuberes hunc praecipitem in pistrinum trahi.

[¶133] CALLIPHO:
Has he done anything amiss, Simo?

> Latin: Callipho:
Numquid peccatum est, Simo?

[¶134] SIMO:
Yes, very much so.
PSEUDOLUS: (to CALLIPHO.)

> Latin: Simo:
Immo maxime.

[¶135] Be quiet, I quite well understand my own affairs, Callipho. Is this a fault? Now then, give your attention to the reason why I you kept ignorant of this amour. I knew that the treadmill was close at hand, if I told you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Desiste, recte ego meam rem sapio, Callipho;
peccata mea sunt. animum advorte nunciam.
quapropter te expertem amoris nati habuerim? †
pistrinum in mundo scibam, si dixem, mihi.

[¶136] SIMO:
And didn’t you know, as well, that the treadmill would be close at hand when you kept silent on it?

> Latin: Simo:
Non a me scibas pistrinum in mundo tibi,
cum ea mussitabas?

[¶137] PSEUDOLUS:
I did know it.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Scibam.

[¶138] SIMO:
Why wasn’t it told me?

> Latin: Simo:
Quin dictum est mihi?

[¶139] PSEUDOLUS:
The one evil was close at hand, the other at a greater distance; the one was at the moment, the other was a few days off.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quia illúd malum aderat, istuc aberat longius;
illud erat praesens, huic erant dieculae.

[¶140] SIMO:
What will you be doing now? For assuredly the money cannot be got in this quarter out of me, who have especially detected it.

> Latin: Simo:
Quid nunc agetis? nam hinc quidem a me non potest
argentum auferri, qui praesertim senserim.

[¶141] I shall forthwith give notice to all that no one is to trust him the money.

> Latin: ne quisquam credat nummum, iam edicam omnibus.

[¶142] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ faith, I’ll never go begging to any person, so long, at all events, as you shall be alive; troth, you shall find me the money; and as for me, I shall take it from you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Numquam edepol quoiquam supplicabo, dum quidem
tu vives. tu mihi hercle árgentum dabis,
abs te equidem sumam.

[¶143] SIMO:
You, take it from me?

> Latin: Simo:
Tu a me sumes?

[¶144] PSEUDOLUS:
Undoubtedly.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Strenue.

[¶145] SIMO:
Troth, now, knock out my eye, if I do find it.

> Latin: Simo:
Excludito mi hercle oculum, si dedero.

[¶146] PSEUDOLUS:
You shall provide it. I warn you then to be on your guard against me.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Dabis.
iam dico ut a me caveas.

[¶147] SIMO:
By my troth, I know this for sure; if you do take it away, you will have done a wonderful and a great exploit.

> Latin: Simo:
Certe edepol scio,
si apstuleris, mirum et magnum facinus feceris.

[¶148] PSEUDOLUS:
I will do it, however.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Faciam.

[¶149] SIMO:
But if you don’t carry it off?

> Latin: Simo:
Si non apstuleris?

[¶150] PSEUDOLUS:
Then flog me with rods. But what if I do carry it off?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Virgis caedito.
sed quid, si apstulero?

[¶151] SIMO:
I give you Jupiter as your witness,
that you shall pass your life free from punishment.

> Latin: Simo:
Do Iovem testem tibi,
te aetatem impune habiturum.

[¶152] PSEUDOLUS:
Take care and remember that.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Facito ut memineris.

[¶153] SIMO:
Could I possibly be unable to be on my guard, who am forewarned?

> Latin: Simo:
Egon ut cavere nequeam, cui praedicitur?

[¶154] PSEUDOLUS:
I forewarn you to be on your guard. I say you must be on your guard, I tell you. Keep watch. Look, now, with those same hands will you this day give me the money
SIMO:
By my troth,’tis a clever mortal if he keeps his word.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Praedico, ut caveas. dico, inquam, ut caveas. cave.
em istis mihi tu hodie manibus argentum dabis.
Callipho:
Edepol mortalem graphicum, si servat fidem.

[¶155] PSEUDOLUS:
Carry me away to be your slave if I don’t do it.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Servitum tibi me abducito, ni fecero.

[¶156] SIMO:
You speak kindly and obligingly; for at present you are not mine, I suppose.

> Latin: Callipho:
Bene atque amice dicis. †nam nunc, nam meust.

[¶157] PSEUDOLUS:
Would you like me to tell you, too, what you will still more wonder at?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vin etiam dicam quod vos magis miremini?

[¶158] SIMO:
Come, then; i’ faith, I long to hear it; I listen to you with pleasure.

> Latin: Callipho:
Studeo hercle audire, nam ted ausculto lubens.
Simo:
[Agedum, nam satis libenter te ausculto loqui.]

[¶159] PSEUDOLUS:
Before I fight that battle, I shall first
fight another battle, famous and memorable.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Prius quam ístam pugnam pugnabo, ego etiam prius
dabo aliam pugnam claram et commemorabilem.

[¶160] SIMO:
What battle?

> Latin: Simo:
Quam pugnam?

[¶161] PSEUDOLUS:
Why, with the procurer your neighbour; by means of stratagem and artful tricks, I’l cleverly bamboozle the procurer out of this music-girl, with whom your son is so desperately in love;

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Em ab hoc lenone vicino tuo
per sycophantiam atque per doctos dolos
tibicinam illam, tuos quam gnatus deperit,
ea círcumducam lepide lenonem.
Simo:
Quid est?

[¶162] and I surely will have both of these things effected this very day, before the evening.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Effectum hoc hodie reddam utrumque ad vesperum.

[¶163] SIMO:
Well, if you accomplish these tasks as you say, you will surpass in might King Agathocles. But if you don’t do it, is there any reason why I shouldn’t forthwith put you in the treadmill?

> Latin: Simo:
Siquidem ístaec opera, ut praedicas, perfeceris,
virtute regi ágathocli antecesseris.
sed si non faxis, numquid causaest, ilico
quin te in pistrinum condam?

[¶164] PSEUDOLUS:
Not for one day, but,
i’ faith, for all, whatever the time. But if I effect it, will you not at once give me the money of your own free will for me to pay to the procurer?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Non unum in diem [modo],
verum hercle in omnis, quantumst; sed si effecero,
dabin mi argentum, quod dem lenoni, ilico,
tua voluntáte?

[¶165] CALLIPHO:
Pseudolus is making a fair claim; say “I’ll give it.”

> Latin: Callipho:
Ius bonum orat Pseudolus;
dabo inque.

[¶166] SIMO:
But still, do you know what comes into my mind? Suppose they have made an arrangement, Callipho,
among themselves, or are acting in concert, and on a preconcerted plan, to bamboozle me out of the money?

> Latin: Simo:
At enim scin quid mihi in mentem venit?
quid si hisce inter se consenserunt, Callipho,
aut de compecto faciunt consutis dolis,
qui me argento intervertant?

[¶167] PSEUDOLUS:
Who would be more audacious than myself, if I dared to do such an action? Well, Simo, if we are thus in collusion, or have ever arranged any plan, do you mark me quite all over with elm-tree stripes, just as when letters are written in a book with a reed.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quis me audacior
sit, si istuc facinus audeam? immo sic, Simo:
si sumus compecti seu consilium umquam iniimus [de istac re]
aut si de ea re umquam inter nos convenimus,
[quasi in libro cúm scribuntur calamo litterae]
stilis me totum usque ulmeis conscribito.

[¶168] SIMO:
Now then, proclaim the games as soon as you please.

> Latin: Simo:
Indice ludos nunciam, quando lubet.

[¶169] PSEUDOLUS:
Give me your attention, Callipho, I beg you, for this day, so that you may not any way employ yourself upon other business.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Da in hunc diem operam, Callipho, quaeso mihi,
ne quo te ad aliud occupes negotium.

[¶170] CALLIPHO:
Why, now, I had made up my mind yesterday to go into the country.

> Latin: Callipho:
Quin rus ut irem iám heri mecum statueram.

[¶171] PSEUDOLUS:
Still, do you now change the plan which you had resolved upon.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At nunc disturba quas statuisti machinas.

[¶172] CALLIPHO:
I am now resolved not to go away on account of this; I have an inclination to be a spectator of your games, Pseudolus; and if I shall find that he doesn’t give you the money which he has promised, rather than it shouldn’t be done, I’ll give it.

> Latin: Callipho:
Nunc non abire certum est istac gratia;
lubidost ludos tuos spectare, Pseudole.
et si hunc videbo non dare argentum tibi,
quod dixit, potius quam id non fiat, ego dabo.

[¶173] SIMO:
I shall not change my purpose.

> Latin: Simo:
Non demutabo.

[¶174] PSEUDOLUS:
Because, by my faith, if you don’t give it, you shall be dunned for it with clamour great and plenteous. Come, now, move yourselves off hence into the house this instant, and in turn give room for my tricks.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Namque edepol, si non dabis,
clamore magno et multo flagitabere.
agite amolimini hinc vos intro nunciam
ac meis vicissim date locum fallaciis.

[¶175] SIMO:
Be it so.
CALLIPHO:
You may have your way,

> Latin: Callipho:
Fiat, geratur mos tibi.

[¶176] PSEUDOLUS:
But I want you
to keep close at home.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sed te volo
domi usque adesse.
Callipho:
Quin tibi hanc operam dico.—

[¶177] SIMO:
Well, that assistance I promise you.
CALLIPHO:
But I shall be off to the Forum. I’ll be back here presently.
(Exit CALLIPHO. SIMO goes into his house.)

> Latin: Simo:
At ego ad forum ibo. iam hic ero.—

[¶178] PSEUDOLUS:
Be back directly. (To the AUDIENCE.) I have a suspicion, now, that you are suspecting that I have been promising these so great exploits to these persons for the purpose of amusing you, while I am acting this play,
and that I shall not do that which I said I will do. I will not change my design; so far as that then I know for certain; by what means I’m to carry it out not at all do I know as yet; only this, that so it shall be. For he that appears upon the stage in a new character, him it befits to bring something that is new.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Actutum redi.
suspicio est mihi nunc vos suspicarier,
me idcirco haec tanta facinora promittere,
quo vos oblectem, hanc fabulam dum transigam,
neque sim facturus quod facturum dixeram.
non demutabo. atque etiam certum, quod sciam,
quo id sim facturus pacto nil etiam scio,
nisi quia futurumst. nam qui in scaenam provenit,
novo módo novom aliquid inventum adferre addecet;

[¶179] If he cannot do that, let him give place to him who can. I am inclined to go hence into the house for some little time, while I summon together all my stratagems in my mind. Meanwhile this piper shall entertain you.
(Goes into the house of SIMO, and the PIPER strikes up a tune.) (Enter PSEUDOLUS, from the house of SIMO.)
PSEUDOLUS:
O Jupiter, whatever I undertake, how cleverly and how fortunately does it befal me.

> Latin: si id facere nequeat, det locum illi qui queat.
concedere aliquantisper hinc mi intro lubet,
dum concenturio in corde sycophantias.
⟨sed mox⟩ exibo, non ero vobis morae;
tibicen vos interibi hic delectaverit.—
Psevdolvs:
Pro Iúppiter, ut mihi, quídquid ago, lepide ómnia prospereque éveniunt:

[¶180] Not any plan is there stored up in my breast that I can hesitate upon or be afraid of. But it is folly to entrust a bold exploit to a timorous heart; for all things are just as you make them, so as you make them of importance. Now in my breast have I already so prepared my forces—
double, aye, threefold stratagems, that when I engage with the enemy, relying upon the merits, I say, of my forefathers, and on my own industry and tricking propensity for mischief, I may easily conquer, and easily spoil my antagonists by my contrivances.

> Latin: neque quód dubitem neque quód timeam, meo in péctore conditumst cónsilium.
nam ea stúltitiast, facinús magnum timidó cordi credére; nam omnes
rés perinde sunt
ut agás, ut eas magní facias; nam ego ín meo pectore príus …
íta paravi cópias,
duplicís triplicis dolos pérfidias, ut, ubíquomque hostibus cóngrediar
(maiórum meúm fretus vírtute dícam,
mea índustria ét malitiá fraudulénta),
facile út vincam, facile út spoliem meos pérduellis meis pérfidiis.

[¶181] Now will I adroitly batter down this Ballio, the common foe of me and all of you; only lend me your attention. Now will I forthwith draw out my legions against this old town. If I take it, I shall make it a pleasant matter for the citizens: I’ll load and fill myself, and my allies as well, with booty from it. I shall strike terror and fright into my enemies, so that they may know of what race I was born.

> Latin: núnc inimicum ego húnc communem meum átque vostrorum ómnium,
Bállionem, exbállistabo lépide: date operam modo;
[hóc ego oppidum ádmoenire, ut hodie capiatúr, volo.]
atque húc meas legionés adducam; si éxpugno
(facilem hánc rem meis civíbus faciam),
post ád oppidum hoc vetus cóntinuo meum exércitum protinus óbducam:
inde me ét simul participés omnis meos praéda onerabo atque ópplebo,
metum ét fugam perduéllibus meis me út sciant natum.

[¶182] Great exploits it befits me to perform, which long after may bespeak fame for me. But whom do I see here? Who’s this low fellow that’s presented before my eyes? I should like to know why he’s come here with his sword: I’ troth, now then I’ll lie here in ambush for him, to see the business that he’s about.
(Retires to a distance.) (Enter HARPAX, with a bay in his hand.)
HARPAX:
This is the place, and this the spot, which was pointed out to me by my master, according as I form a judgment from my eyesight. For my master, the Captain, told me to this effect, that the house was the seventh from the gate, in which lives the person to whom he requested me to carry the token and this silver * * * * * I could vastly wish that some one would inform me where this Ballio, the procurer, lives.
(Looks from side to side.)
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)

> Latin: éo sum genere gnátus: magna mé facinora décet efficere,
quae póst mihi clara et diú clueant.
sed hunc quém video? quis hic ést qui oculis meis óbviam ignobilis óbicitur?
lubet scíre quid hic veniát cum machaéra et huic, quám rem agat, hinc dabo insídias.
Harpax:
Hi lóci sunt atque hae régiones quae mi áb ero sunt demónstratae,
ut ego óculis rationém capio quam mi íta dixit erus méus miles,
septumás esse aedis á porta ubi ille hábitet leno, quoí iussit
symbólum me ferre et hoc árgentum. nimis vélim, certum qui id míhi faciat,
Ballió leno ubi hic hábitat.

[¶183] Hist! Silence! This man is mine, unless all Gods and men forsake me. Now have I need of a new plan; this new scheme is suddenly presented to me. This I prefer to my former one; that I shall dismiss, which, before, I had commenced to carry into effect. By my troth, I’ll then work this military messenger that’s just arrived.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
[St, tace, tace, meus hic est homo, ni omnes di atque homines deserunt.]
novo cónsilio nunc míhi opus est,
nova rés subito mi haec óbiectast:
hoc praévortar principio; illa omnia missa habeo, quae ante agere occepi.
iam pol ego hunc stratioticum nuntium advenientem probe percutiam.

[¶184] HARPAX:
I’ll knock at the door, and call some one out of doors from within.
(Goes towards the door of BALLIO’S house.)
PSEUDOLUS: (coming up to him.)

> Latin: Harpax:
óstium pultábo atque intus évocabo aliquém foras.

[¶185] Whoever you are, I wish you to spare your knocking; for I’ve just come out of doors, I, the spokesman and the defender of the door.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quisquis es, compendium ego te facere pultandi volo;
nam ego precator et patronus foribus processi foras.

[¶186] HARPAX:
Are you Ballio?

> Latin: Harpax:
Tune es Ballio?

[¶187] PSEUDOLUS:
Why, no; but I’m the deputy-Ballio.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Immo vero ego eius sum Subballio.

[¶188] HARPAX:
What means that expression?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid istuc verbist?

[¶189] PSEUDOLUS:
I’m his butler-steward; the caterer for his larder.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Condus promus sum, procurator peni.

[¶190] HARPAX:
As though you were to say, you are his chamberlain.

> Latin: Harpax:
Quasi te dicas atriensem.

[¶191] PSEUDOLUS:
No; I’m above his chamberlain.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Immo atriensi ego impero.

[¶192] HARPAX:
What are you, slave or free man?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid tu, servon es an liber?

[¶193] PSEUDOLUS:
Why, at present, I’m still a slave.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Nunc quidem etiam servio.

[¶194] HARPAX:
So you seem to be; and you don’t look to be one worthy to be free.

> Latin: Harpax:
Ita videre, et non videre dignus qui liber sies.

[¶195] PSEUDOLUS:
Ain’t you in the habit of looking at yourself when you abuse another person?
HARPAX: (aside.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Non soles respicere te, quom dicis iniuste alteri?

[¶196] This must be a roguish fellow.
PSEUDOLUS: (aside.)
The Gods protect and favour me! for this is my anvil: this day will I hammer out thence full many a device.

> Latin: Harpax:
Hunc hominem malum esse oportet.
Psevdolvs:
Di me servant atque amant,
nam haec mihi incus est: procudam égo hodie hinc multos dolos.

[¶197] HARPAX:
Why is he talking to himself alone?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid illic secum solus loquitur?

[¶198] PSEUDOLUS:
How say you, young man—?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid ais tu, adulescens?

[¶199] HARPAX:
What is it?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid est?

[¶200] PSEUDOLUS:
Are you, or are you not, from that Captain of Macedonia? The servant of him, II mean, who bought a damsel of us here, who gave fifteen silver minae to the procurer, my master, and is still owing five?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Esne tu an non es ab illo milite Macedonio,
servos eius qui hinc a nobis est mercatus mulierem,
qui argenti ero meo lenoni quindecim dederat minas,
quinque debet?

[¶201] HARPAX:
I am. But where in the world have you ever known me,
or have ever seen or spoken to me? For in fact, before this day, I never was at Athens, nor did I ever before this day behold you with my eyes * * * * * * * * * *

> Latin: Harpax:
Sum. sed ubi tu me novisti gentium
aut vidisti aut conlocutu’s es? nam equidem Athenas antidhac
numquam veni, neque te vidi ante hunc diem umquam oculis meis.

[¶202] PSEUDOLUS:
Because you seem likely to be from him; for at the time when he went away, this was the day appointed for the money, on which he was to pay it to us, and he has not brought it as yet.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quia videre inde esse; nam olim quom abiit, argento haec dies
praestitutast, quoad referret nobis, neque dum rettulit.

[¶203] HARPAX:
Yes, here it is.
(Holding up the bag.)

> Latin: Harpax:
Immo adest.

[¶204] PSEUDOLUS:
What?—have you brought it?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tun attulisti?

[¶205] HARPAX:
I, myself.

> Latin: Harpax:
Egomet.

[¶206] PSEUDOLUS:
Do you at all hesitate to give it me?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid dubitas dare?

[¶207] HARPAX:
I, give it you?

> Latin: Harpax:
Tibi ego dem?

[¶208] PSEUDOLUS:
Aye, faith, to me, who manage the business and the accounts of my master Ballio, receive his money, and pay it to him to whom he owes it.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Mihi hercle vero, qui res rationesque eri
Ballionis curo, argentum accepto [expenso] et quoi debet dato.

[¶209] HARPAX:
By my troth, if you were even the keeper of the treasures of supreme Jove, I would never entrust a groat of silver to you.

> Latin: Harpax:
Si quidem hercle etiam supremi promptas thensauros Iovis,
tibi libellam argenti numquam credam.

[¶210] PSEUDOLUS: (pointing.)
While you’ve been making yourself so big,
the money has become loose.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Dum tu sternuas,
res erit soluta.

[¶211] HARPAX:
I’ll keep it the rather tied up—this way.
(Ties the mouth of the bag.)

> Latin: Harpax:
Vinctam potius sic servavero.

[¶212] PSEUDOLUS:
Woe to you! You indeed have been found to doubt my honor. As though innumerable times as much are not in the habit of being entrusted to me alone.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vae tibi, tu inventu’s es vero, meam qui furcilles fidem.
quasi mihi nón sescenta tanta soli soleant credier.

[¶213] HARPAX:
It’s possible that others may think so, and that I mayn’t trust you.

> Latin: Harpax:
Potest ut alii ita arbitrentur et ego ut ne credam tibi.

[¶214] PSEUDOLUS:
As though you meant to say that I wished to chouse you out of the money.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quasi tu dicas me te velle argento circumducere.

[¶215] HARPAX:
Why, yes; as though you meant to say so; and as though I, on the other hand, meant to suspect it. But what’s your name?

> Latin: Harpax:
Immo vero quasi tu dicas quasique ego autem id suspicer.
sed quid est tibi nomen?

[¶216] PSEUDOLUS: (aside.)
This procurer has a servant of the name of Syrus; I’ll say that I am he. I am Syrus.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Servos est huic lenoni Surus,
eum esse me dicam. Surus sum.

[¶217] HARPAX:
Syrus?

> Latin: Harpax:
Surus?

[¶218] PSEUDOLUS:
That’s my name.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Id est nomen mihi.

[¶219] HARPAX:
We are making many words. If your master’s at home, why don’t you call him out, that I may transact that for which I was sent here, whatever be your name?

> Latin: Harpax:
Verba multa facimus. erus si tuos domi est, quin provocas,
ut id agam quod missus huc sum, quidquid est nomen tibi?

[¶220] PSEUDOLUS:
If he were within I would call him out. But if you choose to give it me, it will be more truly paid than if you were to give it to himself.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Si intus esset, evocarem. verum si dare vis mihi,
magis erit solutum, quasi ipsi dederis.

[¶221] HARPAX:
But now do you know how it is? My master has sent me to pay this, not to lose it. But I know, to a certainty, that you are in a fever now, because you cannot lay your claws upon it. I shall entrust the money to no person except to Ballio himself.

> Latin: Harpax:
At enim scin quid est?
reddere hoc, non perdere erus me misit. nam certo scio,
hoc febrim tibi esse, quia non licet huc inicere ungulas.
ego, nisi ipsi Ballioni, nummum credam nemini.

[¶222] PSEUDOLUS:
But at present he’s full of business: a cause of his is being tried before the judge.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At illic nunc negotiosust: res agitur apud iudicem.

[¶223] HARPAX:
May the Gods prosper it! And I, when I shall think that he’s at home, will come again. Do you take this letter from me, and give it him: for in it is the token agreed upon between your master and mine about the damsel.

> Latin: Harpax:
Di bene vortant. at ego quando eum esse censebo domi,
rediero. tu epistulam hanc a me accipe atque illi dato.
nam istic sumbolust inter erum meum et tuom de muliere.

[¶224] PSEUDOLUS:
For my part, I understand it; the person who should bring the money and the impress of his likeness
hither to us, with him he said he wished the damsel to be sent; for he left a specimen of it here as well.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Scio equidem: [ut] qui argentum adferret atque expressam imaginem
suam huc ad nos, cum eo aiebat velle mitti mulierem.
nam hic quoque exemplum reliquit eius.

[¶225] HARPAX:
You understand the whole affair?

> Latin: Harpax:
Omnem rem tenes.

[¶226] PSEUDOLUS:
Why should I not understand it?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid ego ni teneam?

[¶227] HARPAX:
Give him this token then.
(Gives the letter and token.)

> Latin: Harpax:
Dato istunc sumbolum ergo illi.

[¶228] PSEUDOLUS:
Very well. But what’s your name?
HARPAX:
Harpax.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Licet.
sed quid est tibi nomen?
Harpax:
Harpax.

[¶229] PSEUDOLUS:
Get along with you, Harpax, I like you not. By my troth, you really shan’t enter this house, lest you should be doing something in the harpy line.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Apage te, Harpax, hau places;
huc quidem hercle haud ibis intro, ne quid ἅρπαξ feceris.

[¶230] HARPAX:
I am wont to carry off my enemies alive from the battle-field; from that circumrstance is my name.

> Latin: Harpax:
Hostis vivos rapere soleo ex acie: eo hoc nomen mihi est.

[¶231] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ faith, I think that you are much more likely to carry off the brass pots from a house.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Pol te multo magis opinor vasa ahena ex aedibus.

## 3. Lines 657–987

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/3/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/3/#p-N

[¶0] HARPAX:
Such is not the fact. But, Syrus, do you know what I request of you?

> Latin: Harpax:
Non ita est. sed scin quid te oro, Sure?

[¶1] PSEUDOLUS:
I shall know, if you tell me.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sciam si dixeris.

[¶2] HARPAX:
I shall put up outside of the gate here, at the third shop, at the house of that tun-bellied, limping, fat old woman, Chrysis.

> Latin: Harpax:
Ego devortor extra portam huc in tabernam tertiam,
apud anum illam doliarem, claudam crassam, Chrysidem.

[¶3] PSEUDOLUS:
What do you wish then?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid nunc vis?

[¶4] HARPAX:
That you’ll fetch me thence when your master comes.

> Latin: Harpax:
Inde ut me arcessas, erus tuos ubi venerit.

[¶5] PSEUDOLUS:
At your pleasure; by all means.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tuo arbitratu, maxume.

[¶6] HARPAX:
For, as I’ve come wearied off my journey, I wish to refresh myself.

> Latin: Harpax:
Nam ut lassus veni de via,
me volo curare.

[¶7] PSEUDOLUS:
You are very wise, and your plan is agreable to me. But take care, please, that you are not out of the way when I send for you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sane sapis et consilium placet.
sed vide sís ne in quaestione sis, quando arcessam, mihi.

[¶8] HARPAX:
Why, when I’ve dined, I shall indulge myself with a nap.

> Latin: Harpax:
Quin ubi prandero, dabo operam somno.

[¶9] PSEUDOLUS:
I quite agree with you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Sane censeo.

[¶10] HARPAX:
Do you wish aught else?

> Latin: Harpax:
Numquid vis?

[¶11] PSEUDOLUS:
That you’ll be off to take your nap.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Dormitum ut abeas.

[¶12] HARPAX:
I’m off.

> Latin: Harpax:
Abeo.—

[¶13] PSEUDOLUS:
And, do you hear, Harpax? Order yourself to be covered up, please; you’ll receive the benefit if you take a good sweat.
(Exit HARPAX.) (PSEUDOLUS, alone.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Atque audin, Harpage?
iube sis te operiri: beatus éris, si consudaveris.

[¶14] PSEUDOLUS:
Immortal Gods! this man has preserved me by his coming. By his supply for my journey he has brought me from my wanderings quite into the right way. For the Goddess Opportunity herself could not come to me more opportunely,
than has this letter in this opportune manner been brought to me. For this has been brought as a horn of plenty, in which there is whatever I wish for: here are my wiles, here all my tricks, here my stratagems, here my money, here his mistress for my master’s son so much in love. And now how vaunting shall I show myself; how, with a breast so fertile in expedients,
I was to do each thing, how, to steal away the damsel from the procurer, I had all my plans arranged in order in my mind as I desired, fixed, planned out. But, no doubt, thus will it come to pass: this Goddess Fortune, unaided, prevails over the designs of a hundred armed men. And this is the fact, just as each person uses his fortune, so does he surpass others,
and forthwith we all pronounce him wise. When we learn that the counsels of any person have turned out well, we declare that he is a prudent man; but that he is a fool who is unsuccessful. In our folly we know not how much we are mistaken, when we eagerly wish anything to be given to us; as though we ourselves could possibly know what is for our advantage.

> Latin: di immortales, conservavit me illic homo adventu suo.
suo viatico redduxit me usque ex errore in viam.
nam ipsa mi Opportunitas non potuit opportunius
advenire quam haec allatast mi opportune epistula.
nam haec allata cornu copiaest, ubi inest quidquid volo:
hic doli, hic fallaciae omnes, hic sunt sycophantiae,
hic argentum, híc amica amanti erili filio.
atque ego nunc me ut gloriosum faciam et copi pectore:
quo modo quícque agerem, ut lenoni surruperem mulierculam,
iam instituta ornata cuncta in ordine, animo ut volueram,
certa deformata habebam; sed profecto hoc sic erit:
centum doctum hominum consilia sola haec devincit dea,
Fortuna. atque hoc verum est: proinde ut quisque Fortuna utitur,
ita praecellet atque exinde sapere eum omnes dicimus.
bene ubi quoi scimus consilium áccidisse, hominem catum
eum esse declaramus, stultum autem illum quoi vortit male.
stulti hau scimus, frusta ut simus, quom quid cupienter dari
petimus nobis, quasi quid in rem sit possimus noscere.

[¶15] We lose what is certain, while we are seeking what is uncertain. And this comes to pass, amid labours and amid sorrow, that death meanwhile comes creeping on. But there’s enough now of philosophizing; I have been talking too long, and at too great length. Immortal Gods! my lie was not dear at its weight in double-distilled gold, which I just now trumped up here on the spur of the moment,
when I said that I belonged to the procurer. Now, through this letter shall I deceive three persons—my master, and the procurer, and him who gave me this letter. Excellent! another thing as well has happened, that I wished for: see, Calidorus is coming; he is bringing some one with him, I know not whom.
(Stands apart.) (Enter CALIDORUS and CHARINUS.)

> Latin: certa mittimus, dum incerta petimus; atque hoc evenit
in labore atque in dolore, ut mors obrepat interim.
sed iam satis est philosophatum. nimis diu et longum loquor.
di immortales, aurichalco contra non carum fuit
meum mendacium, hic modo quod subito commentus fui,
quia lenonis me esse dixi. nunc ego hac epistula
tris deludam, erum et lenonem et qui hanc dedit mi epistulam.
euge, par pari aliud autem quod cupiebam contigit:
venit eccum Calidorus, ducit nescio quem secum simul.

[¶16] CALIDORUS:
The sweets and the bitters, all have I disclosed to you. You know my love, you know my difficulty, you know my poverty.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Dulcia atque amara apud te sum elocutus omnia:
scis amorem, scis laborem, scis egestatem meam.

[¶17] CHARINUS:
I well remember all; do you only let me know what you want me to do.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Commemini omnia: id tu modo, me quid vis facere, fac sciam.

[¶18] CALIDORUS:
Pseudolus has directed me thus, that I should bring to him some bold and zealous person.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
[Quom haec tibi alia sum elocutus, vix rem scis de symbolo.]

[¶19] CHARINUS:
You observe your directions well; for you bring him one both friendly and zealous. But this Pseudolus
is a stranger to me.

> Latin: Charinvs:
[Omnia, inquam. tu modo quid me facere vis fac ut sciam.]

[¶20] CALIDORUS:
He is a very clever fellow—he is my contriver. He said that he would effect those things for me that I have told you of.
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Pseudolus mi ita imperavit, ut aliquem hominem strenuom
benevolentem adducerem ad se.
Charinvs:
Servas imperium probe;
nám et amicum et benevolentem ducis. sed istic Pseudolus
novos mihist.
Calidorvs:
Nimium est mortalis graphicus, †heuretes mihi est.
is mihi haec sese ecfecturum dixit quae dixi tibi.

[¶21] I’ll address this person in a very lofty strain.
CALIDORUS:
Whose voice is it that’s heard here?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Magnufice hominem compellabo.
Calidorvs:
Quoia vox resonat?

[¶22] PSEUDOLUS:
Oh! thee, sovereign lord, thee, oh! thee do I address who dost rule over Pseudolus: thee do I seek, to impart to thee delights thrice three, threefold, acquired by three contrivances,
obtained over three persons through craftiness and through subtlety, which in this very little sealed packet I have brought unto you.
(Holds up the letter.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Io,
io te te, turanne, te te égo, qui imperitas Pseudolo,
quaero, quoi ter trina tríplicia, tríbus modis tria gaudia,
artibus tribus trís demeritas dem laetitias, de tribus
fraude partas per malitiam et per dolum et fallaciam;
in libello hoc obsignato ad te attuli pauxillulo.

[¶23] CALIDORUS:
That’s the fellow;
how the hang-dog does bluster just like a tragedian.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Illic homost.
Charinvs:
Vt paratragoedat carnufex.

[¶24] PSEUDOLUS:
Advance a step on thy side towards me. Boldly stretch forth thine arm for greeting.
CALIDORUS: (taking his hand.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Confer gradum
contra pariter, porge audacter ad salutem bracchium.

[¶25] Tell me, Pseudolus, whether, as Hope or as Safety, must I greet you?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Dic utrum Spemne an Salutem te salutem, Pseudole?

[¶26] PSEUDOLUS:
Why both.
CALIDORUS:
As both I greet you. But what has been done?
Why are you silent?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Immo utrumque.
Charinvs:
Vtrumque, salve. sed quid actumst?
Psevdolvs:
Quid times?

[¶27] I have carried this person here.
(Pointing to CHARINUS.)
PSEUDOLUS:
How? Carried him here?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Attuli hunc.
Psevdolvs:
Quid, attulisti?

[¶28] CALIDORUS:
Brought, I meant to say.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Adduxi volui dicere.

[¶29] PSEUDOLUS:
Who’s this person?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quis istic est?

[¶30] CALIDORUS:
Charinus.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Charinus.

[¶31] PSEUDOLUS:
Well done; I return him thanks then.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Euge. iam χάριν τούτῳ ποιοῦ.

[¶32] CHARINUS:
Will you then boldly enjoin me what it is necessary to do?

> Latin: Charinvs:
Quin tu si quid opust, mi audacter imperas?

[¶33] PSEUDOLUS:
My thanks, so far. May it be well with you, Charinus; I don’t like that we should be troublesome to you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tam gratiast.
bene sit tibi, Charine. nolo tibi molestos esse nos.

[¶34] CHARINUS:
You, troublesome to me? Now, really, that’s troublesome.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Vos molestos mihi? molestumst mi id quidem.

[¶35] PSEUDOLUS:
Well, then, wait a moment.
(Takes the letter out from under his dress.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tum igitur mane.

[¶36] CALIDORUS:
What’s that?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid istuc est?

[¶37] PSEUDOLUS:
This letter have I just now intercepted, and the token.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Epistulam modo hanc íntercepi et sumbolum.

[¶38] CALIDORUS:
Token? What token?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Sumbolum? quem sumbolum?

[¶39] PSEUDOLUS:
The one that was brought just now from the Captain. His servant, who was bringing it, with five mineae of silver, who came to fetch your mistress hence, him I have just now bamboozled.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Qui a milite allatust modo.
eius servos qui hunc ferebat cum quinque argenti minis,
tuam qui amicam hinc arcessebat, éi os sublevi modo.

[¶40] CALIDORUS:
How so?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quo modo?

[¶41] PSEUDOLUS:
For the sake of these Spectators the play is being performed; they know, who were present here; you I’ll tell at another time.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Horum causa haec agitur spectatorum fabula:
hi sciunt, qui hic adfuerunt; vobis post narravero.

[¶42] CALIDORUS:
What are we to do then?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid nunc agimus?

[¶43] PSEUDOLUS:
You shall this day embrace your mistress at liberty.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Liberam hodie tuam amicam amplexabere.

[¶44] CALIDORUS:
What, I?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Egone?

[¶45] PSEUDOLUS:
You yourself.
CALIDORUS:
I?
PSEUDOLUS:
Your own self, I say, if indeed this head shall exist so long; if you’ll only quickly find me out a man.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tu istic ipsus, inquam, si quidem hoc vivet caput;
si modo mihi hominem invenietis propere.

[¶46] CHARINUS:
Of what description?

> Latin: Charinvs:
Qua facie?

[¶47] PSEUDOLUS:
A cunning,
crafty and clever one, who, when he has once taken hold of the beginning, may by his own ingenuity still hold fast upon what it behoves him to do; one, too, who has not often been seen here.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Malum,
callidum, doctum, qui quando principium prehenderit,
porro sua virtute teneat quid se facere oporteat;
atque qui hic non visitatus saepe sit.

[¶48] CHARINUS:
If he is a slave, does that matter at all?

> Latin: Charinvs:
Si servos est,
numquid refert?

[¶49] PSEUDOLUS:
Why, I’d much rather have him than a free man.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Immo multo mavolo quam liberum.

[¶50] CHARINUS:
I think that I’m able to procure for you a cunning and clever fellow,
that has lately come to my father from Carystus, and hasn’t as yet gone anywhere out the house, and who never visited Athens before yesterday.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Posse opinor me dare hominem tibi malum et doctum domo,
qui a patre advenit Carysto nec dum exiit ex aedibus
quoquam neque Athenas advenit umquam ante hesternum diem.

[¶51] PSEUDOLUS:
You assist in right earnest. But I have need to borrow five minae of silver, which I shall repay this day, for his father (pointing to CALIDORUS) owes it me.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Bene iuvas. sed quinque inventis opus est argenti minis
mutuis, quas hodie reddam: nam huius mihi debet pater.

[¶52] CHARINUS:
I’ll lend it; don’t seek it anywhere else.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Ego dabo, ne quaere aliunde.

[¶53] PSEUDOLUS:
O, how convenient a person for me.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
O hominem opportunum mihi.

[¶54] I have need of a scarf as well, a sword, and a broad-brimmed hat.
CHARINUS:
I can provide them from my house.

> Latin: etiam opust chlamyde et machaera et petaso.
Charinvs:
Possum a me dare.

[¶55] PSEUDOLUS:
Immortal Gods! surely this is not Charinus for me, but Abundance. But this servant, who is come here from Carystus, is there anything in him?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Di immortales, non Charinus míhi hic quidem, sed Copiast.
sed istic servos, ex Carysto qui hic adest, ecquid sapit?

[¶56] CHARINUS:
Plenty of the stinking goat in him.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Hircum ab alis.

[¶57] PSEUDOLUS:
It befits the fellow, then, to have a tunic with long sleeves Has the chap anything sharp in his breast?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Manuleatam tunicam habere hominem addecet.
ecquid is homo habet aceti in pectore?

[¶58] CHARINUS:
Aye, of the very sharpest.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Atque acidissumi.

[¶59] PSEUDOLUS:
But if it is necessary for him to draw forth what is sweet from the same place, has he aught of that?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid, si opus sít ut dulce promat indidem, ecquid habet?

[¶60] CHARINUS:
Do you ask that He has wine of myrrh, sweet raisin wine, spice wine honey wine, sweets of every sort. Why, he once began to set up a hot liquor-shop in his breast.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Rogas?
murrinam, passum, defrutum, mellam, mel quoivismodi;
quin in corde instruere quondam coepit pantopolium.

[¶61] PSEUDOLUS:
Bravissimo! Why, Charinus, you beat me cleverly at my own game. But what am I to say is the name of this servant?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Eugepae, lepide, Charine, meo me ludo lamberas.
sed quid nomen esse dicam ego isti servo?

[¶62] CHARINUS:
Simmia.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Simiae.

[¶63] PSEUDOLUS:
In a difficulty, does he understand how to twirl about?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Scitne in re advorsa vorsari?

[¶64] CHARINUS:
A whirlwind is not so ready as he.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Turbo non aeque citust.

[¶65] PSEUDOLUS:
Is he shrewd at all?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Ecquid argutust?

[¶66] CHARINUS:
In mischievous tricks very often.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Malorum facinorum saepissime.

[¶67] PSEUDOLUS:
How, when he’s caught in the fact?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid cum manifesto tenetur?

[¶68] CHARINUS:
He’s a very eel; he slips out.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Anguillast, elabitur.

[¶69] PSEUDOLUS:
Is this fellow an experienced one?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Ecquid is homo scitust?

[¶70] CHARINUS:
A public ordinance is not more experienced.

> Latin: Charinvs:
Plebi scitum non est scitius.

[¶71] PSEUDOLUS:
He is a suitable person, according to what I hear you say.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Probus homo est, ut praedicare te audio.

[¶72] CHARINUS:
Aye, and from this you may know it.
When he looks at you he’ll tell, of his own accord, what it is you want with him. But what are you about to do?

> Latin: Charinvs:
Immo si scias,
ubi te aspexerit, narrabit ultro quid sese velis.
sed quid es acturus?

[¶73] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ll tell you. When I’ve dressed up my man, I intend to make him become the pretended servant of the Captain; let him take this token to the procurer, with five minae of silver. There’s the whole plot for you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Dicam. úbi hominem exornavero,
subditivom fieri ego illum militis servom volo;
sumbolum hunc ferat lenoni cum quinque argenti minis,
mulierem ab lenone abducat: em tibi omnem fabulam.

[¶74] As for the rest, in what way he is to do each thing, I’ll instruct himself.

> Latin: ceterum quo quicque pacto faciat, ipsi dixero.

[¶75] CALIDORUS:
Why, therefore, do we stand here then?

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Quid nunc igitur stamus?

[¶76] PSEUDOLUS:
Bring the fellow to me just now, dressed out with all his accoutrements, to Aeschinus, the banker’s. But make all haste.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Hominem cum ornamentis omnibus
exornatum adducite ad me iam ad trapezitam Aeschinum.
sed properate.

[¶77] CALIDORUS:
We’ll be there before you.

> Latin: Calidorvs:
Prius illi erimus quam tu.—

[¶78] PSEUDOLUS:
Get you gone there quickly. (CALIDORUS and CHARINUS go into SIMO’S house.) Whatever before was uncertain or doubtful in my mind,
is now clear-now fined to the dregs; my heart has now an open path. All my legions will I lead forth under their standards with happy omen with favorable auspices, and to my heart’s content. I have a certainty that I can rout my enemies. Now will I go to the Forum, and load Simmia with my instructions
what he is to do, that he may not be tripping at all, and that he may cleverly lay the train for this plot. Soon now shall I cause the town of this procurer to be carried by storm.
(Exit.) (Enter a BOY from the house of BALLIO.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Abite ergo ocius.
quidquid incerti mi in animo prius aut ambiguom fuit,
nunc liquet, nunc defaecatumst cor mihi; nunc perviumst:
omnes ordine sub signis ducam legiones meas,
avi sinistra, auspicio liquido atque ex ⟨mea⟩ sententia;
confidentia est inimicos meos me posse perdere.
nunc ibo ad forum atque onerabo meis praeceptis Simiam,
quid agat, ne quid titubet, docte ut hanc ferat fallaciam.
iam égo hoc ipsum oppidum expugnatum faxo erit lenonium.

[¶79] A BOY:
On that Boy on whom the Gods bestow servitude under a procurer, when they add a base occupation as well, assuredly do they, so far as I now understand in my mind,
bestow upon him a great misfortune and miseries manifold. Just as this servitude has turned out to me, where I am set over duties great and small; nor am I able to find any admirer to love me, so that at length I might be fitted out in a little better guise.

> Latin: Pver:
Cui servitutem di danunt lenoniam
puero, atque eidem si addunt turpitudinem,
ne illi, quantum ego nunc corde conspicio meo,
malam rem magnam multasque aerumnas danunt.
velut haec mi evenit servitus, ubi ego omnibus
parvis magnisque miseriis praefulcior:
neque ego amatorem mi invenire ullum queo,
qui amet me, ut curer tandem nitidiuscule.

[¶80] Now this day is the birthday of this procurer. The procurer has made a determination, from the lowest to the highest, that if each one does not this day send him a present, he shall perish to-morrow with the greatest torments. Now, faith, I know not what to do in my line,
for, unless I shall send a present to the procurer this day, to-morrow must I swallow down fullers’ produce. And yet I cannot do that which they who can are wont to do. Alas! how little am I, even still for this vocation. And by my troth, now, to my misfortune how fearfully do I dread punishment.
If any one lays on whose hand is too heavy, although they say that it generally is done amid great weeping, I think that I am able in some measure to keep my teeth closed. But I must keep close my lips and my talking, for see, my master is betaking himself home, and bringing a Cook with him.
(Stands at a distance.) (Enter BALLIO and a COOK.)

> Latin: nunc huic lenoni hodie est natalis dies:
interminatus est a minimo ad maximum,
si quis non hodie munus misisset sibi,
eum crás cruciatu maximo perbitere.
nunc nescio hercle rebus quid faciam meis;
neque ego illud possum, quod illi qui possunt solent.
nunc, nisi lenoni munus hodie misero,
cras mihi potandus fructus est fullonius.
eheu, quam illae rei ego etiam nunc sum parvolus.
atque edepol, ut nunc male eúm metuo miser,
si quispiam det qui manus gravior siet,
quamquam illud aiunt magno gemitu fieri,
comprimere dentes videor posse aliquo modo.
sed comprimenda est mihi vox atque oratio:
erus eccum recipit se domum et ducit coquom.

[¶81] BALLIO:
Those who call it the cook’s market, call it so foolishly; for ’tis not a cook’s market, but a thieves’ market. For if, upon oath, I were to seek out the worst of men, I couldn’t have brought a worse one than this fellow that I’m bringing, one, chattering, bragging, silly, and worthless.

> Latin: Ballio:
Forum coquinum qui vocant, stulte vocant,
nam non coquinum est, verum furinum est forum.
nam ego si iuratus peiorem hominem quaererem
coquom, non potui, quam hunc quem duco, ducere,
multiloquom gloriosum insulsum inutilem.

[¶82] Why, for this very reason Orcus has declined to take him to himself, that he might be here to cook a banquet for the dead; for here he is able to cook a thing to please them alone.

> Latin: quin ob eam rem Orcus recipere ad se hunc noluit,
ut esset hic qui mortuis cenam coquat;
nam hic solus illis coquere quod placeat potest.

[¶83] A COOK.:
If you thought of me in this manner that you are mentioning, why did you hire me?
BALLIO:
From scarcity; there wasn’t another.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Si me arbitrabare isto pacto, ut praedicas,
cur conducebas?
Ballio:
Inopia: alius non erat.

[¶84] But why, if you were a cook, were you sitting in the market-place, you alone behind the rest?
A COOK.:
I’ll tell you. By reason of the avarice of men have I become an inferior cook, not through my own inclination.
BALLIO:
For what reason is that?
A COOK.:
I’ll tell you. Because, in fact, directly people come to hire a cook,
no one enquires for him that’s the best and the highest priced: rather do they hire him that’s the lowest priced. Through this have I to-day been the only sitter in the market. Those wretched fellows are for a drachma a-piece; not any person is able to prevail on me to rise for less than a didrachm.

> Latin: sed cur sedebas in foro, si eras coquos,
tu solus praeter alios?
Cocvs:
Ego dicam tibi:
hominum vitio ego sum factus improbior coquos,
non meopte ingenio.
Ballio:
Qua istuc ratione?
Cocvs:
Eloquar.
quia enim, cum extemplo veniunt conductum coquom,
nemo illum quaerit qui optimus et carissimust:
illum conducunt potius qui vilissimust.
hoc ego fui hodie solus obsessor fori.
illi drachmissent miseri: me nemo potest
minoris quisquam nummo ut surgam subigere.

[¶85] I don’t cook a dinner too, like other cooks, who bring me up seasoned meadows of grass upon their dishes; who turn the guests into oxen, and supply the grass. This herbage, too, do they further season with other herbs: put in coriander, fennel, garlick, orage;
they add, too, sorrel, cabbage, beet, and spinach. In this they dissolve a pound weight of asafoetida. The roguish mustard is pounded, which makes the eyes of those that pound it drop tears before they have pounded it. These fellows, when they cook dinners, when they do season them, season them,
not with seasonings, but with vampyre owls which eat out the bowels of the guests while still alive. Through this, in fact, it is, that people here live such short lives, inasmuch as they heap up these herbs of this sort in their stomachs, dreadful to be mentioned, not only to be eaten.

> Latin: non ego item cenam condio ut alii coqui,
qui mihi condita prata in patinis proferunt,
boves quí convivas faciunt herbasque oggerunt,
eas hérbas herbis aliis porro condiunt:
indunt coriandrum, feniculum, alium, atrum holus,
apponunt rumicem, brassicam, betam, blitum,
eo láserpici libram pondo diluont,
teritur sinapis scelera, quae illis qui terunt
prius quám triverunt oculi ut extillent facit.
ei homines cenas ubi coquont, cum condiunt,
non condimentis condiunt, sed strigibus,
vivis convivis intestina quae exedint.
hoc hic quidem homines tam brevem vitam colunt,
quom hasce herbas huius modi in suom alvom congerunt,
formidulosas dictu, non essu modo.

[¶86] Herbage which the cattle eat not, men eat themselves.

> Latin: quas herbas pecudes non edunt, homines edunt.

[¶87] BALLIO:
What do you say? Do you use divine seasonings, by which you can prolong the life of men, you, who find fault with these other seasonings?
A COOK.:
I proclaim it boldly;

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid tu? divinis condimentis utere,
qui prorogare vitam possis hominibus,
qui ea culpes condimenta?
Cocvs:
Audacter dicito;

[¶88] for those who shall eat of my victuals which I have seasoned will be able to exist two hundred years even.

> Latin: nam vel ducenos annos poterunt vivere
meas qui éssitabunt escas quas condivero.

[¶89] For when I’ve put into the saucepan either cicilendrum, or cepolindrum, or mace, or saucaptis, the very dishes become warmed forthwith. These are sauces for fish, the cattle of Neptune;

> Latin: nam egó cocilendrum quando in patinas indidi
aut cepolendrum aut maccidem aut secaptidem,
eaepse sese [patinae] fervefaciunt ilico.
haec ad Neptuni pecudes condimenta sunt:

[¶90] the flesh of the earthly cattle I season with cicimandrum, hapalopsis, or cataractria.
BALLIO:
Now may Jupiter and all the Divinities confound you with your sauces, and with all those lies of yours!

> Latin: terrestris pecudes cicimalindro condio,
hapalocopide aut cataractria.
Ballio:
At te Iuppiter
dique omnes perdant cum condimentis tuis
cumque tuis istis omnibus mendaciis.

[¶91] A COOK.:
Do allow me to speak, please.
BALLIO:
Speak, and go to very perdition.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Sine sis loqui me.
Ballio:
Loquere, atque i in malam crucem.

[¶92] A COOK.:
When all the saucepans are hot, I open them all then does the odour fly towards heaven with its hand hanging down.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Vbi omnes patinae fervont, omnis aperio:
is odos dimissis manibus in caelum volat.

[¶93] BALLIO:
The odour with its hands hanging down?
A COOK.:
I made a mistake without thinking.

> Latin: Ballio:
Odos dimissis manibus?
Cocvs:
Peccavi insciens.

[¶94] BALLIO:
How so?
A COOK.:
With its feet hanging down, I meant to say. Jupiter dines on that odour every day.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quidum?
Cocvs:
Dimissis pedibus volui dicere.
eum odorem cenat Iuppiter cottidie.

[¶95] BALLIO:
If you happen not to go out to cook, pray what does Jupiter dine upon?

> Latin: Ballio:
Si nusquam is coctum, quidnam cenat Iuppiter?

[¶96] A COOK.:
He goes to sleep without his dinner.
BALLIO:
Go to very perdition. Is it for this reason that I’m to give you a didrachm to-day?

> Latin: Cocvs:
It incenatus cubitum.
Ballio:
I in malam crucem.
istacine causa tibi hodie nummum dabo?

[¶97] A COOK.:
Well, I confess that I am a very high-priced cook; but I make the results of my labour to be seen for the price,
hired at which I go out.
BALLIO:
In thieving, to wit.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Fateór equidem esse me coquom carissumum;
verum pro pretio facio ut opera appareat
mea quo conductus venio.
Ballio:
Ad furandum quidem.

[¶98] A COOK.:
And do you expect to meet with any cook except with the claws of a kite or of an eagle?

> Latin: Cocvs:
An tu invenire postulas quemquam coquom
nisi miluinis aut aquilinis ungulis?

[¶99] BALLIO:
And do you expect to go anywhere to cook, and not to cook the dinner there with your claws tied up?

> Latin: Ballio:
An tu coquinatum te ire quoquam postulas,
quin ibi constrictis ungulis cenam coquas?

[¶100] Now, therefore, you boy (to the BOY), who are my servant, I now give you notice to make haste to remove hence all my property; and to keep his eyes as well in your sight. Whichever way he shall look, do you look the same way as well. If he shall move in any direction, do you move as well.

> Latin: nunc adeo tu, qui meus es, iam edico tibi,
ut nostra properes amoliri ómnia,
tum ut huius oculos in oculis habeas tuis:
quoquo hic spectabit, eo tu spectato simul;
si quo hic gradietur, pariter progredimino;

[¶101] If he shall put forth his hand, put you forth your hand as well. If he shall take anything of his own, do you suffer him to take it; if he shall take what’s mine, do you on the other side hold him fast. If he shall stoop to the ground, do you stoop there as well.

> Latin: manum sí protollet, pariter proferto manum:
suom sí quid sumet, id tu sinito sumere;
si nostrum sumet, tu teneto altrinsecus.
si iste ibit, ito, stabit, astato simul;
si conquiniscet istic, conquiniscito.

[¶102] Likewise over your understrappers I shall appoint a single guard a-piece.

> Latin: item his discipulis privos custodes dabo.

[¶103] A COOK.:
Only have good courage.
BALLIO:
Prithee, tell me how I possibly can have good courage, who am taking you home to my house?

> Latin: Cocvs:
Habe módo bonum animum.
Ballio:
Quaeso, qui possum, doce,
bonum animum habere qui te ad me adducam domum?

[¶104] A COOK.:
Because, by my broth, this day will I do just in the way that Medea cooked up the old man Pelias
whom she is said by a draught and by her potions from an aged man to have made young again; so will I make you likewise.
BALLIO:
How now; are you an enchanter as well?

> Latin: Cocvs:
Quia sorbitione faciam ego hodie te mea,
item ut Medea Peliam concoxit senem,
quem medicamento et suis venenis dicitur
fecisse rursus ex sene adulescentulum,
item ego te faciam.
Ballio:
Eho, an etiam es veneficus?

[¶105] A COOK.:
Why no, by my troth, I am rather a preserver of mankind.
BALLIO:
Well now; for how much would you teach me that one point in cooking?

> Latin: Cocvs:
Immo edepol vero hóminum servator.
Ballio:
Ehem,
quanti istuc unum me †coquinare perdoces?

[¶106] A COOK.:
What point?
BALLIO:
That I may preserve you from pilfering anything from me.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Quid?
Ballio:
Vt te servem, ne quid surripias mihi.

[¶107] A COOK.:
For a didrachm, if you believe me; if not, not for a mina even. But whether are you about to-day to give a dinner, to your friends or to your enemies?
BALLIO:
Why, faith, to my friends surely.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Si credis, nummo; si non, ne mina quidem.
sed utrum tu amicis hodie an inimicis tuis
daturu’s es cenam?
Ballio:
Pol ego amicis scilicet.

[¶108] A COOK.:
But why don’t you invite your enemies to it rather than your friends? For this day will I present to the guests a banquet so savoury, and I’ll season it with such a dulcet sweetness, that whoever shall taste each thing that’s seasoned, I’ll make that same person to gnaw off the ends of his own fingers.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Quin tuós inimicos potius quám amicos vocas?
nam ego ita convivis cenam conditam dabo
hodie atque ita suavi suavitate condiam:
ut quisque quicque conditum gustaverit,
ipsus sibi faciam ut digitos praerodat suos.

[¶109] BALLIO:
Troth now, prithee, before you shall present aught to the guests do you yourself first taste, and give some to your understrappers, that you may gnaw off the ends of your own pilfering hands.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quaeso hercle, prius quam quoiquam convivae dabis,
gustato tute prius et discipulis dato,
ut praerodatis vostras furtificas manus.

[¶110] A COOK.:
Perhaps then you don’t believe me in the things that I say.

> Latin: Cocvs:
Fortasse haec tu nunc mihi non credis quae loquor.

[¶111] BALLIO:
Don’t you be troublesome; you din me too much; you don’t please me by it.

> Latin: Ballio:
Molestus ne sis, nimium [iam] tinnis; non taces?

[¶112] See, there I live. (Points to his house.) Do you go in-doors and cook the dinner, with all speed.
A BOY:
Why don’t you go, and take your place? Go and find the guests; the dinner’s spoiling already.
(COOK and BOY go into the house.)
BALLIO:
Now, just look, please, at that young offshoot; for he, too, is a good-for-nothing deputy-scullion for the cook. Truly I don’t know what now first to be on my guard against;
such thieves there are in my house, and there’s a robber close at hand. For my neighbour here, the father of Calidorus, a short time since, in the market-place, asked me by all means to be on my guard against his servant Pseudolus, not to put any trust in him; for that he is on the hunt this day,
if possible to dupe me out of the woman. He said that he had stoutly promised to him that he would get away Phœnicium from me by stratagem. I’ll now go indoors and give notice to my household, that no one must put any trust whatever in this Pseudolus.
(Goes into his house.) (Enter PSEUDOLUS.)

> Latin: em illíc ego habito. íntro abi et cenam coque.
propera.
Pver:
Quin tu is accubitum, et convivas cedo,
corrumpitur iam cena.—
Ballio:
Em, subolem sis vide:
iam hic quoque scelestus est, coqui sublingulo.
profecto quid nunc primum caveam nescio,
ita in aedibus sunt fures, praedo in proxumo est.
nam mi hic vicinus apud forum paulo prius,
pater Calidori, ópere edixit maxumo,
ut mihi caverem a Pseudolo servo suo,
ne fídem ei haberem. nam eum circum ire in hunc diem,
ut me, si posset, muliere intervorteret;
eum prómisisse firmiter dixit sibi,
sese abducturum a me dolis Phoenicium.
nunc ibo intro atque edicam familiaribus,
profecto ne quis quicquam credat Pseudolo.—

[¶113] PSEUDOLUS:
If the immortal Gods ever did determine that any person should be assisted by their aid, now do they intend that Calidorus shall be preserved for me, and the procurer destroyed, inasmuch as they produced you for my assistant, so clever and so knowing a fellow. (Looking back.) But where is he? am I not a silly fellow to be thus talking to myself alone? I’ faith, he has put a trick upon myself, as I fancy; myself one knave, I have been poorly on my guard against another knave.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Si umquám quemquam di immórtales voluére esse auxilio ádiutum,
tum me ét Calidorum sérvatum volunt ésse et lenonem éxtinctum,
quom te ádiutorem génuerunt mihi tám doctum hominem atque ástutum.
sed ubi íllic est? sumne ego homo ínsipiens, qui haec mécum egomet loquar sólus?
dedit vérba mihi hercle, ut opínor:
malus cúm malo stulte cávi.

[¶114] By my troth I’m undone, if this fellow’s off, and I shall not carry into effect this day what I intended. But see, there he is, a statue that deserves a whipping; how stately he does stalk along!
(HARPAX.)

> Latin: tum pól ego interii, homo si ílle abiit, neque hoc ópus quod volui hodie éfficiam.
sed eccúm video verberéam statuam: ut it, út magnifice infert sese.

[¶115] PSEUDOLUS:
How now! By my faith I was looking about for you; I was very greatly afraid that you were off.

> Latin: ehem, te hércle ego circumspéctabam, nimis métuebam male, ne ábiisses.

[¶116] SIMO:
It was my character to do so, I confess.

> Latin: Simia:
Fuit meum ófficium ut facerém, fateor.

[¶117] PSEUDOLUS:
Where were you loitering?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vbi réstiteras?

[¶118] SIMO:
Where I pleased.

> Latin: Simo:
Vbi míhi libitum est.

[¶119] PSEUDOLUS:
That I know well enough already.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Istúc … ego sátis scio.

[¶120] SIMO:
Why then do you ask me what you know?

> Latin: Simo:
Quor érgo quod scis mé rogas?

[¶121] PSEUDOLUS:
Why this I want, to put you in mind.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At hóc volo monére te.

[¶122] SIMO:
Needing to be put in mind yourself, don’t you be putting me in mind.

> Latin: Simo:
Monéndus ne me moneas.

[¶123] PSEUDOLUS:
Really I am treated by you quite with contempt.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Nimis tándem ego aps te contémnor.

[¶124] SIMO:
And why shouldn’t I treat you with contempt, I who have the repute of being a military gentleman?

> Latin: Simo:
Quippe égo te ni contémnam,
stratióticus homo qui clúear?

[¶125] PSEUDOLUS:
I want this then, which has been commenced, to be completed.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Iam hoc vólo quod occeptúmst agi.

[¶126] SIMO:
Do you see me a-doing anything else?

> Latin: Simo:
Numquíd agere aliud mé vides?

[¶127] PSEUDOLUS:
Therefore walk on briskly.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
ámbula ergó cito.

[¶128] SIMO:
No, I choose to go slowly.

> Latin: Simo:
Immo ótiosé volo.

[¶129] PSEUDOLUS:
This is the opportunity; while this Harpax is asleep, I want you to be the first to accost him.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Haéc ea occásiost: dum ílle dormít, volo
tú prior ut óccupes adire.

[¶130] SIMO:
Why are you hurrying? Softly; don’t you fear. I wish Jupiter would so make it, that he were openly in the same place with me, whoever he is, that has arrived from the Captain.

> Latin: Simo:
Quid próperas? placide, né time.
ita ílle faxit Iúppiter,
ut ílle palam ibidem ádsiet,
quisquís illest, qui adest a mílite.

[¶131] Never a jot, by my troth, should he be a bit the better Harpax than I. Have good courage, I’ll have this business nicely accounted for to you. So by my tricks and lies would I put this military stranger in a fright that he himself would deny that he is the person that he is,
and would believe me to be the person that he himself is.
PSEUDOLUS:
How can that be?

> Latin: numquam édepol erit illé potior
Harpáx quam ego. habe animúm bonum:
púlchre ego hanc éxplicatám tibi rém dabo.
síc ego illúm dolis átque mendáciis
ín timorém dabo mílitarem ádvenam,
ípsus sese út neget ésse eum quí siet
méque ut esse aútumet qui ípsus est.
Psevdolvs:
Quí potest?

[¶132] SIMO:
You are murdering me when you ask me that.

> Latin: Simo:
Occídis me, cum istúc rogitas.

[¶133] PSEUDOLUS:
A clever fellow.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
O hóminem lepidum.

[¶134] SIMO:
And so are you too, who are quite my equal with your mischievous tricks and lies …

> Latin: Simo:
Té quoque etiám dolis átque mendáciis,
quí magistér mihi es, ántidibo, út scias.

[¶135] PSEUDOLUS:
May Jupiter preserve you for me.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Iúppiter té mihi sérvet.

[¶136] SIMO:
Aye, and for myself.

> Latin: Simo:
Immó mihi.

[¶137] But look, does this dress become me quite well?
PSEUDOLUS:
It suits very well.

> Latin: séd vide, ornátus hic me satin cóndecet?
Psevdolvs:
Optúme habet.

[¶138] SIMO:
Be it so.

> Latin: Simo:
Esto.

[¶139] PSEUDOLUS:
May the Deities grant you as many blessings as you may wish for yourself. For if I were to wish for as many as you are deserving of, they would be less than nothing; (aside) nor have I ever seen any one more of a rogue than this fellow.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tantúm tibi boni di immórtales duint quántum tu tibi óptes;
nam si éxoptem, quantúm dignu’s es tantúm dent, minus nihiló sit.
néque ego hoc homine quémquam vidi mágis malum et máleficum.

[¶140] SIMO: (overhearing him.)
Do you say that to me?

> Latin: Simo:
Tun íd mihi?
Psevdolvs:
Taceo.
sed egó quae tibi bona dábo et faciam, si hanc sóbrie rem accurássis.
Simo:
Potin út taceas? memorem ímmemorem facit quí monet quod memor méminit.
teneo, ómnia in pectore cóndita sunt, meditáti sunt mihi dóli docte.

[¶141] PSEUDOLUS:
This man’s an honest fellow.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Probus ést hic homo.

[¶142] SIMO:
It is neither this person, then (pointing to PSEUDOLUS), nor myself.

> Latin: Simo:
Neque hic ést neque ego.

[¶143] PSEUDOLUS:
But take care that you don’t be tripping.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
At vide né titubes.

[¶144] SIMO:
Can’t you hold your tongue? He that puts a man in mind of that which, remembering it, he does keep in mind, causes him to forget it. I recollect everything; they are stored up in my breast; my plans are cleverly laid.

> Latin: Simo:
Potin út taceas?

[¶145] PSEUDOLUS:
I’m silent. But what good turn shall I do you if you carry through this matter with management?
So may the Gods love me—

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Ita mé di ament—

[¶146] SIMO:
They won’t do so; you’ll be uttering sheer falsehoods then.

> Latin: Simo:
Ita nón facient: mera iám mendacia fúndes.

[¶147] PSEUDOLUS:
How I do love you, Simmia, for your roguery, and both fear and laud you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vt ego ób tuam, Simia, pérfidiam te amo et métuo et magni fácio.

[¶148] SIMO:
That I have learned to make a present of to others; you can’t put your flatteries on me.

> Latin: Simo:
Ego istúc aliis dare cóndidici: mi optrúdere non potes pálpum.

[¶149] PSEUDOLUS:
In how delightful a manner I shall receive you this day, when you have completed this matter.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vt ego áccipiam te hodié lepide, ubi efféceris hoc opus,

[¶150] SIMO:
Ha, ha, ha!
(Laughing.)

> Latin: Simo:
Há ha hae.

[¶151] PSEUDOLUS:
With nice viands, wine, perfumes, and titbits between our cups. There, too, shall be a charming damsel, who shall give you kiss upon kiss.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Lepidó victu, vino, únguentis et intér pocula pulpámentis;
ibidem úna aderit muliér lepida, tibi sávia super savía quae det.

[¶152] SIMO:
You will be receiving me in a delightful manner.

> Latin: Simo:
Lepide áccipis me.

[¶153] PSEUDOLUS:
Aye, and if you effect it, then I’ll make you say so still more.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Immo si éfficies, tum fáxo magis ⟨id⟩ dícas.

[¶154] SIMO:
If I don’t effect it, do you, the executioner, take me off to torture. But make haste and point out to me where is the door of the procurer’s house.

> Latin: Simo:
Nisi effécero, cruciabíliter cárnifex me accipito.
séd propera mihi mónstrare, ubi sit ós lenonis aédium.

[¶155] PSEUDOLUS:’Tis the third hence.
SIMO:
Hist! hush! the door’s opening.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Tertium hoc est.
Simo:
St, tace, aedes hiscunt.

[¶156] PSEUDOLUS:
In my mind, I believe that the house is poorly.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Credo, animo malest
aedibus.

[¶157] SIMO:
Why so?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid iam?

[¶158] PSEUDOLUS:
Because, i’ faith, it is vomiting forth the procurer.
(BALLIO is coming out of his house.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quia edepol ipsum lenonem evomunt.

[¶159] SIMO:
Is this he?

> Latin: Simo:
Illicinest?

[¶160] PSEUDOLUS:
This is his own self.
SIMO:’Tis a worthless commodity.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Illic ést.
Simo:
Mala mercist …

[¶161] PSEUDOLUS:
Do see that: he doesn’t go straight, but sideways, just as a crab is wont.
(They conceal themselves from BALLIO.) (Enter BALLIO from his house.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Illuc sis vide,
ut transversus, non proversus cedit, quasi cancer solet.

[¶162] BALLIO:
I do believe that this fellow is not so bad a cook as I thought he was; for he has clawed off nothing as yet except a cup and a tankard.
PSEUDOLUS: (apart to SIMMIA.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Mínus malum hunc hominem esse opinor quam esse censebam coquom,
nam nihil etiam dum harpagavit praeter cyathum et cantharum.

[¶163] Hallo you! now’s your opportunity and your time.
SIMO:
I agree with you.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Heus tu, nunc occasio est et tempus.
Simo:
Tecum sentio.

[¶164] PSEUDOLUS:
Step slily out into the street; I’ll be here in ambush.
(SIMMIA steps forward, and then walks along the middle of the street to meet BALLIO.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Ingredere in viam dolose: ego hic in insidiis ero.

[¶165] SIMO: (talking aloud to himself.)
I took the number carefully; this is the sixth lane from the city gate; down that lane he bade me turn; how many houses down he told me, that I don’t quite know for certain.
BALLIO: (eyeing SIMMIA.)

> Latin: Simo:
Habui numerum sedulo: hoc est sextum a porta proxumum
angiportum, in id angiportum me devorti iusserat;
quotumas aedis dixerit, id ego admodum incerto scio.

[¶166] Who’s this fellow in the scarf, or whence does he come, or whom is he looking for? The appearance of the fellow seems outlandish and shabby.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quis hic homo chlamydatus est aut unde est aut quem quaeritat?
peregrina facies videtur hominis atque ignobilis.

[¶167] SIMO:
But see, here’s a person, who, from uncertainty, will make the thing more certain for me that I wish to know.

> Latin: Simo:
Sed eccum qui ex incerto faciet mihi quod quaero certius.

[¶168] BALLIO:
He’s coming straight towards me. Where in the world am I to say this fellow comes from?

> Latin: Ballio:
Ad me adit recta. unde ego hominem hunc esse dicam gentium?

[¶169] SIMO:
Harkye! you who are standing there with a goat’s beard, answer me this that I ask you.

> Latin: Simo:
Heus tu, qui cum hirquina barba stas, responde quod rogo.

[¶170] BALLIO:
How now! Don’t you salute me first?

> Latin: Ballio:
Eho, an non príus salutas?

[¶171] SIMO: (with a surly voice.)
I have no salutations to give away.

> Latin: Simo:
Nulla est mihi salus dataria.

[¶172] BALLIO:
Well, troth, you shall get just as much from here then.

> Latin: Ballio:
Nam pol hinc tantumdem accipies.

[¶173] PSEUDOLUS: (from behind.)
Well done, at the very beginning.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Iam inde a principio probe.

[¶174] SIMO:
Do you know any person in this lane, I ask you?

> Latin: Simo:
Ecquem in angiporto hoc hominem tu novisti? te rogo.

[¶175] BALLIO:
I know myself.

> Latin: Ballio:
Egomet me.

[¶176] SIMO:
Few persons do that which you mention; for in the Forum there is hardly every tenth person that knows his own self.
PSEUDOLUS: (from behind.)

> Latin: Simo:
Pauci istuc faciunt homines quod tu praedicas,
nam in foro vix decumus quisque est qui ipsus sese noverit.

[¶177] I’m all right; he is philosophizing now.
SIMO:
I’m looking for a fellow here, a bad one,
a law breaker, an impious, perjured, and dishonest rogue.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Salvos sum, iam philosophatur.
Simo:
Hominem ego hic quaero malum,
legirupam, impurum, peiurum atque impium.

[¶178] BALLIO: (aside.)
He’s looking for me, for those are my titles If he would only mention the name. (To SIMMIA.) What’s the name of this person?

> Latin: Ballio:
Me quaeritat,
nam illa mea sunt cognomenta; nomen si memoret modo.
quid est ei homini nomen?

[¶179] SIMO:
Ballio, the procurer.

> Latin: Simo:
Leno Ballio.

[¶180] BALLIO:
Do I know him? I am the very person, young man, that you are looking for.

> Latin: Ballio:
Scivin ego?
ipse ego is sum, adulescens, quem tu quaeris.

[¶181] SIMO:
What, are you Ballio?

> Latin: Simo:
Tune es Ballio?

[¶182] BALLIO:
I really am he.

> Latin: Ballio:
Ego enim vero is sum.

[¶183] SIMO:
How you are clothed, a housebreaker …
(He takes hold of BALLIO’S cloak.)

> Latin: Simo:
Vt vestitu’s es, es perfossor parietum.

[¶184] BALLIO:
I think if you were to see me in the dark, you’d be keeping your hand off.

> Latin: Ballio:
Credo, in tenebris, conspicatus si sis me, apstineas manum.

[¶185] SIMO:
My master bade me present you many greetings. Receive this letter from me; he bade me give you it.

> Latin: Simo:
Erus meus tibi me salutem multam voluit dicere.
hanc epistulam accipe a me, hanc mé tibi iussit dare.

[¶186] BALLIO:
Who’s the person that bade you?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quis is homost qui iussit?

[¶187] PSEUDOLUS: (from behind.)
I’m undone, now the fellow’s in the middle of the mud.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Perii, nunc homo in medio lutost;

[¶188] He doesn’t know the name—this business is at a dead lock.
BALLIO:
Who do you say sent me this?

> Latin: nomen nescit, haeret haec res.
Ballio:
Quem hanc misisse ad me autumas?

[¶189] SIMO:
Observe the seal; do you yourself tell me his name, that I may know that you are Ballio himself.

> Latin: Simo:
Nosce imaginem: tute eius nomen memorato mihi,
ut sciam te Ballionem esse ipsum.

[¶190] BALLIO:
Give me the letter.

> Latin: Ballio:
Cedo mi epistulam.

## 4. Lines 988–1335

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/4/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-pseudolus/4/#p-N

[¶0] SIMO:
Take it, and look at the seal.
(Gives him the letter.)

> Latin: Simo:
Accipe et cognosce signum.

[¶1] BALLIO: (looking at it.)
Oho!’Tis nothing more nor less than Polymachaeroplagides, his own very self; I recognize it. Hallo you, Polymachaeroplagides
is his name!

> Latin: Ballio:
Oh, Polymachaeroplagides
purus putus est ipsus. novi. heus, Polymachaeroplagides
nomen est.

[¶2] SIMO:
I know now that I have rightly given you the letter, since you have mentioned the name of Polymachaeroplagides,

> Latin: Simo:
Scio iám me recte tibi dedisse epistulam,
postquam Polymachaeroplagidem elocutus nomen es.

[¶3] BALLIO:
How fares he?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid agit is?

[¶4] SIMO:
By my troth, just as a brave man and a good soldier should. But make haste, I beg, to read this letter through, for it is requisite to do so, and to take this money at once and send out the damsel.

> Latin: Simo:
Quod homo edepol fortis atque bellator probus.
sed propera hanc pellegere quaeso epistulam (ita negotium est),
atque accipere argentum actutum mulieremque emittere.

[¶5] For it’s necessary for me this day to be at Sicyon, or else to suffer death to-morrow; so peremptory is my master.
BALLIO:
I know it: you are telling those who know it already.

> Latin: nam necessést hodie Sicyoni me esse aut cras mortem exsequi,
ita erus meus est imperiosus.
Ballio:
Novi, notis praedicas.

[¶6] SIMO:
Make haste then to read the letter through.

> Latin: Simo:
Propera pellegere épistulam ergo.

[¶7] BALLIO:
I’ll do so, if you’ll only hold your tongue. (He reads the letter.) “The Captain Polymachaeroplagides sends this letter, written to the procurer Ballio,”
“sealed with the impression which was formerly agreed upon between us two.”
SIMO:
The token’s in the letter
BALLIO:
I see the token and I recognize it. But is he in the habit of sending no greeting written in his letter?

> Latin: Ballio:
Id ago, si taceas modo.
milés lenoni Ballioni epistulam
conscriptam mittit Polymachaeroplagides,
imagine obsignatam quae inter nos duo
convenit olim. sumbolust in epistula.
[video, et cognosco signum. sed in epistula]
[nullam salutem mittere scriptam solet?]

[¶8] SIMO:
Such is the military etiquette, Ballio;

> Latin: Simo:
[Ita militaris disciplinast, Ballio:]

[¶9] with their hand they send health to their well-wishers, and with the same do they send destruction to their evil-wishers. But as you have commenced, go on to ascertain of yourself what this letter says.
BALLIO:
Listen then. (Reading on.) “Harpax is my camp-servant, who has come to you.”
Are you this Harpax?

> Latin: [manu salutem mittunt benevolentibus;]
[eadém malam rem mittunt malevolentibus.]
[sed, ut occepisti, perge opera experirier]
[quid epistula ista narret.]
Ballio:
[Ausculta modo.]
“Harpax calator meus est, ad te qui venit—”
tun es is Harpax?

[¶10] SIMO:
I am, and the real Harpax too.
BALLIO: (reading on.)

> Latin: Simo:
Ego sum, atque ipse ἅρπαξ quidem.

[¶11] “Who brings this letter; I wish the money to be received from him, and the woman to be sent together with him.’Tis becoming to send greeting to the worthy; had I deemed you worthy, I should have sent it to you.”

> Latin: Ballio:
“Qui epistulam istam fert; ab eo argentum accipi,
cum eo simitu mulierem mitti volo.
salutem scriptam dignum est dignis mittere:
te si arbitrarem dignum, misissem tibi.”

[¶12] SIMO:
What then?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid nunc?

[¶13] BALLIO:
Pay me the money, take away the woman.

> Latin: Ballio:
Argentum des, abducas mulierem.

[¶14] SIMO:
Which of us is delaying the matter?

> Latin: Simo:
Vter remoratur?

[¶15] BALLIO:
Follow me in-doors then.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quin sequere ergo intro.—

[¶16] SIMO:
I’m following.
(They go into BALLIO’S house.) (PSEUDOLUS comes forward.)

> Latin: Simo:
Sequor.—

[¶17] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ troth, a more artful fellow, and one more skilfully cunning, I never did see than is this same Simmia. Very much do I dread this man, and sadly do I fear that
he may prove mischievous against myself just as he has been against him; lest in his prosperity he may now turn his horns against me, if he finds an opportunity. Should he prove mischievous towards me … But, i’ faith, for my part I hope not, for I wish well to him.
Now in three ways am I in the greatest dread. First of all then, I dread this comrade of mine, lest he should forsake me and go over from me to the enemy. Next do I dread that my master should in the meantime return from the Forum; lest, the booty taken, the plunderers should be taken.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Peiorem ego hominem magisque vorsute malum
numquam edepol quemquam vidi, quám hic est Simia;
nimisque égo illum hominem metuo et formido male,
ne malus item erga me sit út erga illum fuit,
ne in re secunda nunc mi obvertat cornua,
si occasionem capsit qui sit ⟨mihi⟩ malus;
atque edepol equidem nolo, nam illi bene volo.
nunc in metu sum maximo, triplici modo:
primum omnium iam hunc comparem metuo meum,
ne deserat med atque ad hostis transeat;
metuo autem, né erus redeat etiam dum a foro,
ne capta praeda capti praedones fuant.

[¶18] Together with these things do I fear, lest that other Harpax should arrive here before this Harpax has departed hence with the woman. By my faith, I’m undone; they are very slow in coming out of doors. With baggage packed up, my heart is waiting, ready,
if he doesn’t bring out the damsel together with himself, to fly away in exile out from of my breast. … (The door of BALLIO’S house opens.) I’m the conqueror— I’ve got the better of my wary guards.
(Enter SIMMIA, from BALLIO’S house, leading PHŒNICIUM.)
SIMO: (to PHŒNICIUM.)

> Latin: quom haec metuo, metuo ne ille huc Harpax advenat
prius quam hínc hic Harpax abierit cum muliere.
perii hercle, nimium tarde egrediuntur foras.
cor conligatis vasis expectat meum,
si non educat mulierem secum simul,
ut exulatum ex pectore aufugiat meo.
victor sum, vici cautos custodes meos.

[¶19] Don’t weep: you know not how the matter is, Phœnicium; but before long I’ll let you know it when you are resting.

> Latin: Simia:
Ne plora, nescis ut res sit, Phoenicium,
verum haud multo post faxo scibis accubans.

[¶20] I’m not leading you to that Macedonian long-teethed fellow, who now causes you to be weeping. To him will I lead you, whose you especially long to be. I’ll cause you before very long to be embracing Calidorus.

> Latin: non ego te ad illum duco dentatum virum
Macedoniensem, qui te nunc flentem facit:
cuiam esse te vis maxime, ad eum ducere:
Calidorum haud multo post faxo amplexabere.

[¶21] PSEUDOLUS:
Prithee, why did you stay so long in-doors?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid tu intus quaeso desedisti quam diu?

[¶22] For how long a time was my heart throbbing with beating against my breast.

> Latin: mihi cor retunsumst oppugnando pectore.

[¶23] SIMO:
You have found reason, you whipping-post, with a vengeance to be making enquires of me … amid the ambush of the enemy. Why don’t we go home with all speed with military strides.

> Latin: Simo:
Occasionem repperisti, verbero,
ubi perconteris me, insidiis hostilibus?
quin hinc metimur gradibus militariis?

[¶24] PSEUDOLUS:
Now, by my troth, although you are a worthless fellow, you advise aright. March in triumphal procession, this way, straight in the path to the festive goblet.
(They march off in triumphal procession.) (Enter BALLIO, from his house.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Atque edepol, quamquam nequam homo es, recte mones.
ite hac triumphi ad cantharum recta via.—

[¶25] BALLIO:
Ha, ha, ha! (laughing.) Now, at last, my mind is in a state of ease, since that fellow has departed hence, and taken away the woman. I should like Pseudolus now to come, that wicked rascal,
to carry the woman off from me by his stratagems. I know for sure, right well, that I had rather in solemn form perjure myself a thousand times, than that he should cheat me by making a laughing-stock of me. By my troth now, I’ll laugh at the fellow if I meet him.

> Latin: Ballio:
Hahae, nunc demum mi animus in tuto est loco,
postquam iste hinc abiit atque abduxit mulierem.
iube núnc venire Pseudolum, scelerum caput,
et abdúcere a me mulierem fallaciis.
conceptis hercle verbis, satis certo scio,
ego periurare me mavellem miliens,
quam mi illum verba per deridiculum dare.
nunc deridebo hercle hominem, si convenero;

[¶26] But I guess that he’ll soon be on the treadmill, just as befits him. Now I wish for Simo that he would come in my way, in order that he might be joyful in common with my joy.
(Enter SIMO.)
SIMO: (to himself.)

> Latin: verum in pistrino credo, ut convenit, fore.
nunc ego Simonem mi obviam veniat velim,
ut mea laetitia laetus promiscam siet.

[¶27] I’m going to see what business my Ulysses has transacted; whether he now has the statue from the Ballionian citadel.

> Latin: Simo:
Viso quid rerum meus Vlixes egerit,
iamne habeat signum ex arce Ballionia.

[¶28] BALLIO:
O, lucky man! give me your lucky hand.
(Takes his hand.)

> Latin: Ballio:
O fortunate, cedo fortunatam manum,
Simo.

[¶29] SIMO:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Simo:
Quíd est?

[¶30] BALLIO:
Now.

> Latin: Ballio:
Iam—

[¶31] SIMO:
What now?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid iam?

[¶32] BALLIO:
There’s nothing at all for you to fear.

> Latin: Ballio:
Nihil est quod metuas.

[¶33] SIMO:
What’s the matter? Has that fellow Pseudolus come to you?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid est?
venitne homo ad te?

[¶34] BALLIO:
No.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non.

[¶35] SIMO:
What good fortune is there, then?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid est igitur boni?

[¶36] BALLIO:
Your twenty minae are safe and sound which Pseudolus stipulated for from you this day.

> Latin: Ballio:
Minae viginti sanae et salvae sunt tibi,
hodie quas aps te est instipulatus Pseudolus.

[¶37] SIMO:
I’ faith, I really do wish they were.

> Latin: Simo:
Velim quidem hercle.

[¶38] BALLIO:
Ask of me twenty minae if he this day gets hold of that woman, or gives her to your son this day, as he has promised. On my word, prithee, do demand them of me; I quite long to promise them.

> Latin: Ballio:
Róga me viginti minas,
si ille hodie ílla sit potitus muliere
sive eam tuo gnato hodie, ut promisit, dabit,
[roga opsecro hercle, gestio promittere.]

[¶39] And, besides this, keep the woman as a present for yourself, that in every way you may know that your money’s safe.

> Latin: omnibus modis tibi esse rem ut salvam scias;
atque etiam habeto mulierem dono tibi.

[¶40] SIMO:
There’s no danger that I know of in making this bargain. According as you have solemnly pledged your word, will you give me twenty minae?

> Latin: Simo:
Nullum periclumst, quod sciam, stipularier,
ut concepisti verba: viginti minas
dabin?

[¶41] BALLIO:
They shall be given.

> Latin: Ballio:
Dabuntur.

[¶42] SIMO:
This, indeed, is not so badly done. But have you met the fellow?

> Latin: Simo:
Hoc quidem actumst hau male.
[sed convenistin hominem?]

[¶43] BALLIO:
Aye, both of them together.

> Latin: Ballio:
[Immo ambo simul.]

[¶44] SIMO:
What did he say? What did ho talk about? Prithee, what did he mention to you?

> Latin: Simo:
[Quid ait? quid narrat? quaeso, quid dixit tibi?]

[¶45] BALLIO:
Theatrical nonsense; expressions which, in comedies, are wont to be used to a procurer, which boys are acquainted with. He said that I was worthless, and wicked, and forsworn.

> Latin: Ballio:
[Nugas theatri, verba quae in comoediis]
[solent lenoni dici, quae pueri sciunt:]
[malum et scelestum et peiurum aibat esse me.]

[¶46] SIMO:
I’ faith, he told no lie.
BALLIO:’Twas for that reason I wasn’t angry.

> Latin: Simo:
[Pol hau mentitust.]
Ballio:
[Ergo haud iratus fui:]

[¶47] For what matters it for you to speak uncivilly to him who cares not for it, and who don’t deny the truth of what you say?

> Latin: [nam quanti refert ei nec recte dicere,]
[qui nihili faciat quique infitias non eat?]

[¶48] SIMO:
Why is it that you are in no fear of him? That I’m longing to hear.

> Latin: Simo:
Quid est? quid non metuam ab eo? id audire expeto.

[¶49] BALLIO:
Because he never will carry the woman off now, nor is he able. Don’t you yourself remember that I told you, some time since,
that she had been sold to a Macedonian officer?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quia numquam abducet mulierem iam, nec potest,
a me. meministin tibi me dudum dicere,
eam véniisse militi Macedonio?

[¶50] SIMO:
I remember.

> Latin: Simo:
Memini.

[¶51] BALLIO:
Well, his servant just now brought me the money, and the token with the impression, which had been arranged between himself and me.

> Latin: Ballio:
Em íllius servos húc ad me argentum attulit
et obsignatum sumbolum,

[¶52] SIMO:
What then?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid postea?

[¶53] BALLIO:
He took away with him the woman, not long since.

> Latin: Ballio:
Qui inter me atque illum militem convenerat:
is secum abduxit mulierem hau multo prius.

[¶54] SIMO:
Do you say this in real truth?

> Latin: Simo:
Bonan fide istuc dicis?

[¶55] BALLIO:
Whence could I possibly have that quality?

> Latin: Ballio:
Vnde ea sit mihi?

[¶56] SIMO:
Do you only take care that he hasn’t been playing some trick there.

> Latin: Simo:
Vide módo, ne illic sit contechnatus quippiam.

[¶57] BALLIO:
The letter and the impress on the seal make me sure. Indeed,’twas but just now he took her off for Sicyon.

> Latin: Ballio:
Epistula atque imago me certum facit;
quin illam [quidem iam] in Sicyonem ex urbe abduxit modo.

[¶58] SIMO:
Troth now,’twas well done. Why do I delay to make Pseudolus give a name to a colony at the mill-stones?

> Latin: Simo:
Bene hercle factum. quid ego cesso Pseudolum
facere ut det nomen ad molas coloniam?

[¶59] But who’s this fellow in the scarf?
BALLIO:
I don’t know, i’ faith; however, let’s observe whither he’s going, and what business he’s upon.
(They stand on one side.) (Enter HARPAX.)
HARPAX: (to himself.)

> Latin: sed quis hic homo est chlamydatus?
Ballio:
Non edepol scio,
nisi ut observemus quó eat aut quam rem gerat.

[¶60] That slave’s a base and worthless fellow, who values his master’s commands at nought; and he, too, is good for nothing who is forgetful to do his duty unless he’s put in mind.

> Latin: Harpax:
Malus ét nequam est homo quí nihili eri ímperium sui sérvos facit,
nihilíst autem suom qui ófficium facere ímmemor est, nisi est ádmonitus.

[¶61] But those who forthwith deem themselves to be at liberty, when they have hidden themselves from the sight of their master, who riot, wench, devour what they have,—aye, what they have not,—long do those same endure the name of servitude. Nor is there any good disposition in them,
except only that they may uphold themselves by their dishonest contrivances. With these, neither their company nor their conversation suits me, nor by these persons have I been ever known. Although he is away, I consider my master as being here; I fear him
when he isn’t here, that I may not have to fear him when he is here. Therefore, as I have been ordered, to this business will I give my attention. But that Syrus, to whom I gave the token, would have been letting me stay even yet in the shop. As he bade me, I stayed there; he said that he would send for me when the procurer was at home. But since he hasn’t come, or called me while staying there,
I’m come hither of my own accord, that I may know what is the fact, that that fellow mayn’t be playing tricks with me. And there is nothing better than that I should knock at this door, and call some out here from indoors. I want this procurer to take this money of me, and to send off this woman with me.
(Goes towards BALLIO’S door.)
BALLIO: (from behind, to SIMO.)

> Latin: nam quí liberós [esse] ilicó se arbitrantur,
ex cónspectu erí si suí se abdidérunt,
lúxantur, lustrántur, comedunt quód habent, ei nomén diu
sérvitutís ferunt.
néc boni ingeni quícquam in is inest,
nisi ut improbis se artibus teneant. †
cum hís mihi néc locus
nec sérmo convenít neque is úmquam nobilís fui.
ego, ut mi ímperatumst, étsi abest, híc adesse erum árbitror.
núnc ego illum metuo,
quom hic nón adest, ne quom ádsiet métuam. ei rei operám dabo.
nam ín taberna úsque adhuc, sí venirét Syrus,
cui dedi sumbolum, mansi, uti iusserat:
leno ubi esset domi, me aibat arcessere;
vérum ubi is nón venit néc vocat,
venio húc ultro, ut sciam, quíd rei sit, ne illíc homo me ludíficetur.
neque quícquamst melius, quam út hoc pultém atque aliquem évocem hinc íntus.
léno argentum hóc volo
á me accipiat átque amittat múlierem mecúm simul.

[¶62] Hark you!
SIMO: (apart.)
What do you want?

> Latin: Ballio:
Heús tu.
Simo:
Quid vis?

[¶63] BALLIO: (apart.)
This fellow’s my own.

> Latin: Ballio:
Híc homo meus est.

[¶64] SIMO: (apart.)
How so?

> Latin: Simo:
Quídum?

[¶65] BALLIO: (apart, pointing to the purse in the hand of HARPAX.)
Because that booty’s mine.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quia praeda haec meast:

[¶66] He’s in search of a mistress he has got money. I already long to fix my teeth in him.
SIMO: (apart.)

> Latin: scórtum quaerit, hábet argentum. iam ádmordere hunc míhi lubet.

[¶67] Are you going to devour him already?
BALLIO: (apart.)
While he’s fresh, while he’s in the habit of giving away, while he’s warm upon it,’tis proper for him to be gobbled up. The good men keep me poor, the bad ones support me; the virtuous are a benefit to the public, the debauched to myself.
SIMO: (aside.)

> Latin: Simo:
Iamne íllum coméssurus és?
Ballio:
Dum recéns est
datór, dum calét, devorári decét iam.
boní me virí pauperánt, improbi aúgent;
popló strenuí, mi improbí usuí sunt.

[¶68] A mischief may the Gods send you; such a villain are you.
BALLIO: (apart.)
Venus bestows upon me these blessings, when she drives hither these haters of money, these who quite long for losses, who carefully pamper themselves and their youthful age, eat, drink, and wench. Of quite different dispositions are they and you.
HARPAX: (to himself.)
I’m now delaying myself, in not knocking at this door, that I may know whether or no Ballio is at home now.

> Latin: Simo:
Malúm quod tibí di dabúnt, sic sceléstu’s es.
Harpax:
Me nunc commoror, quom has foris non ferio, ut sciam,
sítne Ballió domi.
Ballio:
Vénus mi haec bona dat, quom hós huc adigit
lúcrifugas, damnícupidos, qui sé suamque aetatém bene curant,
édunt, bibunt, scortántur: illi súnt alio ingenio átque tu,
quí neque tibi bene ésse patere et íllis quibus est ínvides.

[¶69] (Calls out, going up to the door.) Hallo! where are you? Hallo! where are you?
BALLIO: (apart.)
Why, he’s going straight up towards my house.

> Latin: Harpax:
Heús ubi estis vós?
Ballio:
Hic quidem ad me récta habet rectám viam.
Harpax:
[Heus ubi estís vos?]
Ballio:
[Heus adulescens, quid istic debetur tibi?]

[¶70] I shall come off finely loaded with plunder from this fellow; I know it’s a lucky omen for me.
HARPAX: (knocking violently at the door.)

> Latin: bene ego ab hoc praedatus ibo; novi, bona scaevast mihi.

[¶71] Does any one come to open this door?
BALLIO: (calling out to him.)
Hallo! you in the scarf, what’s owing you at that house?

> Latin: Harpax:
Ecquis hoc áperit?
Ballio:
Heus chlamydate, quid istic debetur tibi?

[¶72] HARPAX:
I’m enquiring for Ballio, the procurer, the master of the house.

> Latin: Harpax:
Aedium dominum lenonem Ballionem quaerito.

[¶73] BALLIO:
Whoever you are, young man, make short work of your enquiries.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quisquis es, adulescens, operam fac compendi quaerere.

[¶74] HARPAX:
Why so?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid iam?

[¶75] BALLIO:
Because he himself in person sees you in his presence before him.

> Latin: Ballio:
Quia tute ipsus ipsum praesens praesentem vides.

[¶76] HARPAX:
What, are you he?

> Latin: Harpax:
Tune is es?

[¶77] SIMO:
You in the scarf, take you care, please, of some crooked misfortune, and point your finger at him; this fellow is a procurer.

> Latin: Simo:
Chlamydate, cáve sis tibi a curvo infortunio
atque in hunc intende digitum: hic leno est.

[¶78] BALLIO: (pointing to SIMO.)
And this is an honest man.

> Latin: Ballio:
At hic est vir bonus.

[¶79] (To SIMO.) But you, worthy fellow, are many a time being hunted after in the Forum with noise enough, when you haven’t a groat in the world, unless this procurer here comes to help you a bit.

> Latin: sed, tu, bone vir, flagitare saepe clamore in foro,
quom libella nusquamst, nisi quid leno hic subvenit tibi.

[¶80] HARPAX:
But why don’t you address yourself to me?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quin tu mecum fabulare?

[¶81] BALLIO:
I do address you. What is it you want?

> Latin: Ballio:
Fabulor. quid vis tibi?

[¶82] HARPAX:
You to take this money.
(He holds out the five minae.)

> Latin: Harpax:
Argentum accipias.

[¶83] BALLIO: (holding out his hand.)
Already have I extended my hand, if you are going to give it.

> Latin: Ballio:
Iamdudum, si des, porrexi manum.

[¶84] HARPAX:
Take it; here are five picked minae of silver counted out.

> Latin: Harpax:
Accipe: hic sunt quinque argenti lectae numeratae minae.

[¶85] (Gives him the money.) This did my master, Polymachaeroplagides. order me to deliver to you, the sum which he was owing, and that you were to send Phœnicium with me.

> Latin: hoc tibi erus me iussit ferre Polymachaeroplagides,
quod deberet, atque ut mecum mitteres Phoenicium.

[¶86] BALLIO:
Your master?

> Latin: Ballio:
Erus tuos—

[¶87] HARPAX:
I say to that effect.

> Latin: Harpax:
Ita dico.

[¶88] BALLIO:
The Captain?

> Latin: Ballio:
Miles—

[¶89] HARPAX:
I speak to that effect.

> Latin: Harpax:
Ita loquor.

[¶90] BALLIO:
The Macedonian?

> Latin: Ballio:
Macedonius—

[¶91] HARPAX:
Such is the fact, I say.

> Latin: Harpax:
Admodum, inquam.

[¶92] BALLIO:
Polymachaeroplagides sent you to me?

> Latin: Ballio:
Te ad me misit Polymachaeroplagides?

[¶93] HARPAX:
You say what’s fact.

> Latin: Harpax:
Vera memoras.

[¶94] BALLIO:
To give me this money?

> Latin: Ballio:
Hoc argentum ut mihi dares?

[¶95] HARPAX:
If you really are
the procurer Ballio.

> Latin: Harpax:
Si tu quidem es
leno Ballio.

[¶96] BALLIO:
And for you to take away the woman from me?

> Latin: Ballio:
Atque ut a me mulierem tu abduceres?

[¶97] HARPAX:
Even so.

> Latin: Harpax:
Ita.

[¶98] BALLIO:
Did he say that it was Phœnicium?

> Latin: Ballio:
Phoenicium esse dixit?

[¶99] HARPAX:
You remember it exactly.

> Latin: Harpax:
Recte meministi.

[¶100] BALLIO:
Wait there; I’ll return to you this instant.

> Latin: Ballio:
Mane.
iam redeo ad te.

[¶101] HARPAX:
Make haste, then, with all speed, for I’m in a hurry.’Tis now late in the day, d’ye see?

> Latin: Harpax:
At maturate propera, nam propero: vides
iam diem multum esse.

[¶102] BALLIO:
I see; still I wish to call this person aside. Do you only wait there; I’ll return to you this instant. (He takes SIMO on one side.) What’s to be done now, Simo?

> Latin: Ballio:
Video: hunc advocare etiam volo;
mane modo istic, iam revertar ad te. quid nunc fit, Simo?

[¶103] What are we to do? I’ve detected this fellow that has brought the money in the fact.

> Latin: quid agimus? manufesto hunc hominem teneo, qui argentum attulit.

[¶104] SIMO:
How so?

> Latin: Simo:
Quidum?

[¶105] BALLIO:
And don’t you understand what this plan is?

> Latin: Ballio:
An nescis quae sit haec res?

[¶106] SIMO:
About as much as the most ignorant do.

> Latin: Simo:
Iuxta cum ignarissimis.

[¶107] BALLIO:
Your servant, Pseudolus, has sent this fellow on the message, as though he was from the Macedonian Captain.

> Latin: Ballio:
Pseudolus tuos allegavit hunc, quasi a Macedonio
milite esset.

[¶108] SIMO:
Have you got the money from the fellow?

> Latin: Simo:
Haben argentum ab homine?

[¶109] BALLIO:
Do you ask about that which you see?
(Shows the purse in his hand.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Rogitas quod vides?

[¶110] SIMO:
Harkye, remember to give me one half of that plunder.

> Latin: Simo:
Heus, memento ergo dimidium istinc mihi de praeda dare:

[¶111] It’s right that that should be in common.
BALLIO:
Why, plague on’t,’tis all your own.
HARPAX: (coming forward a step.)

> Latin: commune istuc esse oportet.
Ballio:
Quid, malum? id totum tuom est.

[¶112] How soon are you going to attend to me?
BALLIO:
I’ll attend to you, indeed. (Aside.) What now do you advise me to do, Simo?
SIMO: (aside.)

> Latin: Harpax:
Quam mox mi operam das?
Ballio:
Tibi do equidem. quid nunc mi es auctor, Simo?

[¶113] Let’s make some fun of this counterfeit spy, even until he himself shall be sensible that he is being made a fool of.

> Latin: Simo:
Exploratorem hunc faciamus ludos suppositicium,
adeo donicum ipsus sese ludos fieri senserit.

[¶114] BALLIO:
Follow me. (To HARPAX.) What have you to say? You are his servant, I suppose?

> Latin: Ballio:
Sequere. quid ais? nempe tu illíus servos es?

[¶115] HARPAX:
Most certainly.

> Latin: Harpax:
Planissume.

[¶116] BALLIO:
At what price did he purchase you?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quanti te emit?

[¶117] HARPAX:
With the victory of his prowess in battle; for I was a very great general at home in my own country.

> Latin: Harpax:
Suarum in pugna virium victoria.
nám ego eram domi imperator summus in patria mea.

[¶118] BALLIO:
Why, did he ever capture a gaol in your country?

> Latin: Ballio:
An etiam umquam ille expugnavit carcerem, patriam tuam?

[¶119] HARPAX:
If you utter affronting speeches, you’ll be hearing them.

> Latin: Harpax:
Contumeliam si dices, audies.

[¶120] BALLIO:
In what time did you come from Sicyon hither?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quotumo die
ex Sicyone huc pervenisti?

[¶121] HARPAX:
In one day, by noon.

> Latin: Harpax:
Altero ad meridie.

[¶122] SIMO:
Bravo! By my troth, you did come quickly;
how very swift of foot this man is.

> Latin: Ballio:
Strenue mehercle iisti.
Simo:
Quamvis pernix híc est homo:

[¶123] BALLIO:
When you look at his calves, you might know that he can wear heavy fetters.

> Latin: ubi suram aspicias, scias pósse eum—gerere crassas compedes.

[¶124] How say you—were you also, when a child, in the habit of sleeping in a cradle?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid ais? tune etiam cubitare solitu’s es in cunis puer?

[¶125] SIMO:
Of course.

> Latin: Simo:
Scilicet.

[¶126] BALLIO:
And were you, too, in the habit of doing —you know what I mean?

> Latin: Ballio:
Etiamne facere solitus es—scin quid loquar?

[¶127] SIMO:
Of course he was in the habit of doing as other children did?

> Latin: Simo:
Scilicet solitum esse.

[¶128] HARPAX:
Are you men in your senses?

> Latin: Harpax:
Sanine estis?

[¶129] BALLIO:
What, because I asked you that?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quíd hoc quod te rogo?

[¶130] At night, when the Captain was going on guard, and when you were going with him, did the sword of the officer fit your scabbard?

> Latin: noctu in vigiliam quando ibat miles, quom tu ibas simul,
conveniebatne in vaginam tuam machaera militis?

[¶131] HARPAX:
Go to utter perdition.

> Latin: Harpax:
I in malam crucem.

[¶132] BALLIO:
You, indeed, shall have the opportunity of going there in good time to-day.

> Latin: Ballio:
Ire licebit tamen tibi hodie temperi.

[¶133] HARPAX:
But do you bring out the woman to me, or else give me back the money.

> Latin: Harpax:
Quin tu mulierem mi emittis, aut redde argentum.

[¶134] BALLIO:
Wait a bit.

> Latin: Ballio:
Mane.

[¶135] HARPAX:
Why should I wait?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid maneam?

[¶136] BALLIO:
That scarf, tell me for how much it has been lent.

> Latin: Ballio:
Chlamydem hanc commemora quanti conductast.

[¶137] HARPAX:
What matters it?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid est?

[¶138] SIMO:
How much is the sword hired for?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid meret machaera?

[¶139] HARPAX:
These fellows surely stand in need of hellebore.

> Latin: Harpax:
Elleborum hisce hóminibus opus ést.

[¶140] BALLIO:
How now—
(Takes hold of him.)
HARPAX: (repulsing him.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Eho.

[¶141] Leave me alone.
BALLIO:
What wages does that broad-brimmed hat hire to-day for its owner?

> Latin: Harpax:
Mitte.
Ballio:
Quid mercedis petasus hodie domino demeret?

[¶142] HARPAX:
What owner?
SIMO:
What do the shoes? …
HARPAX:
What are you dreaming about? Why, I’m the owner of all these things, bought with my own savings.

> Latin: Harpax:
Quid domino? quid somniatis? mea quidem haec habeo omnia,
meo peculio empta.

[¶143] BALLIO:
Those, you mean, which the upper part of your thighs supports.

> Latin: Ballio:
Nempe quod fémina summa sustinent.

[¶144] HARPAX: (aside.)
These old fellows have been anointed; they want themselves rubbed down, after the old-fashioned custom.

> Latin: Harpax:
Vncti hi sunt senes, fricari sese ex antiquo volunt.

[¶145] BALLIO:
I’ faith, prithee, answer me this truly and seriously, which I ask of you: What are you to earn? For how trifling a sum has Pseudolus hired you?

> Latin: Ballio:
Responde, opsecro hercle, vero serio hoc quod te rogo:
quid meres? quantillo argento te conduxit Pseudolus?

[¶146] HARPAX:
Who is this Pseudolus?

> Latin: Harpax:
Quis istic Pseudolust?

[¶147] BALLIO:
Your tutor, who has instructed you in this knavery, to take away the woman hence from me by stratagem.

> Latin: Ballio:
Praeceptor tuos, qui te hanc fallaciam
docuit, ut fallaciis hinc mulierem a me abduceres.

[¶148] HARPAX:
What Pseudolus, and what stratagem are you talking to me about? A person that I know of no colour, black or white.

> Latin: Harpax:
Quem tu Pseudolum, quas tu mihi praedicas fallacias?
quem égo hominem † nullius coloris novi.

[¶149] BALLIO:
Will you not be off from here? There’s no profit here for swindlers to-day. Therefore you may tell Pseudolus that another person has carried off the prize-the first Harpax that came.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non tu istinc abis?
nihil est hodie hic sucophantis quaestus: proin tu Pseudolo
nunties abduxisse alium praedam, qui occurrit prior
Harpax.

[¶150] HARPAX:
On my word, I really am that Harpax.

> Latin: Harpax:
Is quidem edepol Harpax ego sum.

[¶151] BALLIO:
Aye, on my word, you want to be.

> Latin: Ballio:
Immo edepol esse vis.

[¶152] This is nothing more nor less than a downright impostor.
HARPAX:
I have given yourself the money, and a while ago, immediately on my arrival, the token to your servant; a letter sealed with the likeness of my master, here before the door.

> Latin: purus putus hic sucophanta est.
Harpax:
Ego tibi argentum dedi
et dudum, adveniens extemplo, sumbolum servo tuo,
eri imágine obsignatam epistulam, hic ante ostium.

[¶153] BALLIO:
You gave a letter to my servant? What servant?

> Latin: Ballio:
Meo tu epistulam dedisti servo? quoi servo?

[¶154] HARPAX:
To Syrus.
BALLIO: (to SIMO.)

> Latin: Harpax:
Suro.

[¶155] The wicked rogue has assurance enough. He hasn’t contrived his knavish scheme amiss.

> Latin: Ballio:
Non confidit sycophanta hic [nequam est] nugis: meditatus malest.

[¶156] By my faith, that whipping-post of a fellow, Pseudolus, how cleverly he has managed his plans; just as much money as the Captain owed, he has given this man, and has dressed out the fellow that he might take away the woman … (To HARPAX.) But the real Harpax himself brought that letter hither to me.
HARPAX:
My name is Harpax; I am the servant of the Macedonian Captain. I’m doing nothing roguishly or cheatingly, nor do I know or understand this Pseudolus, what mortal being he is.

> Latin: [edepol hominem verberonem Pseudolum, ut docte dolum]
[commentust: tantundem argenti quantum miles debuit]
[dedit huic atque hominem exornavit, mulierem qui abduceret.]
nam illam epistulam ipsus verus Harpax huc ad me attulit.
Harpax:
Harpax ego vocor, ego servos sum Macedonis militis;
ego nec sycophantiose quicquam ago nec malefice,
neque istum Pseudolum mortalis qui sit novi neque scio.

[¶157] SIMO:
Unless it’s something wonderful, procurer, you’ve clearly lost the woman.

> Latin: Simo:
Tu, nisi mirumst, leno, plane perdidisti mulierem.

[¶158] BALLIO:
Assuredly, by my troth, I’m in dread of that more and more, when I come to hear his words.

> Latin: Ballio:
Edepol ne istuc magis magisque metuo, quom verba audio.

[¶159] I’ faith, that Syrus, too, has already set my heart a-freezing, that received the token from him.
SIMO:’Tis a wonder if it isn’t Pseudolus.

> Latin: mihi quoque edepol iamdudum ille Surus cor perfrigefacit,
sumbolum qui ab hoc accepit. mira sunt ni Pseudolust.

[¶160] (To HARPAX.) How now, you! of what appearance was the person to whom you delivered the token?

> Latin: eho tu, qua facie fuit, dúdum quoi dedisti sumbolum?

[¶161] HARPAX:
A certain red-haired fellow, pot-bellied, with thick calves, swarthy, with a big head, sharp eyes, red face,
and very large feet.

> Latin: Harpax:
Rufus quidam, ventriosus, crassis suris, subniger,
magno capite, acutis oculis, ore rubicundo, admodum
magnis pedibus.

[¶162] BALLIO:
You prove our undoing, when you mention the feet. It was Pseudolus himself. It’s all up with me. I’m dying now, Simo.

> Latin: Ballio:
Perdidisti, postquam dixisti pedes.
Pseudolus fuit ipsus. actumst de me. iam morior, Simo.

[¶163] HARPAX:
By my troth, I shan’t let you die, unless the money’s returned me-twenty minae.

> Latin: Harpax:
Hercle te hau sinam emoriri, nisi mi argentum redditur,
viginti minae.

[¶164] SIMO:
And another twenty minae to me as well.
BALLIO: (to SIMO.)

> Latin: Simo:
Atque etiam mihi aliae viginti minae.

[¶165] And is the sum to be taken of me that I promised by way of a joke?

> Latin: Ballio:
Auferen tu id praemium a me, quod promisi per iocum?

[¶166] SIMO:
From unprincipled men it’s proper for both their money and their plunder to be taken.

> Latin: Simo:
De improbis viris auferri praemium et praedam decet.

[¶167] BALLIO:
At least you might give up Pseudolus to me.

> Latin: Ballio:
Saltem Pseudolum mihi dedas.

[¶168] SIMO:
I, give up Pseudolus to you? What has he done amiss? Did I not tell you a hundred times that you were to beware of him?

> Latin: Simo:
Pseudolum ego dedam tibi?
quid deliquit? dixin, ab eo tibi ut caveres, centiens?

[¶169] BALLIO:
He has ruined me.

> Latin: Ballio:
Perdidit me.

[¶170] SIMO:
And on me he has laid a fine of twenty fair minae.

> Latin: Simo:
At me viginti modicis multavit minis.

[¶171] BALLIO:
What am I to do then?

> Latin: Ballio:
Quid nunc faciam?

[¶172] HARPAX:
When you have given me the money—go hang yourself.

> Latin: Harpax:
Si mi argentum dederis, te suspendito.

[¶173] BALLIO:
The Gods confound you. (To HARPAX.) Follow me, then, this way, please, to the Forum, that I may pay you.

> Latin: Ballio:
Di te perdant. sequere sis me ergo hac ad fórum, ut solvam.

[¶174] HARPAX:
I follow you.

> Latin: Harpax:
Sequor.

[¶175] SIMO:
What am I to do?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid ego?

[¶176] BALLIO:
Strangers I’ll pay at once; to-morrow I’ll settle with fellow-citizens. Pseudolus has been holding a council-general against my life, in sending that fellow to me to-day to carry off the woman. (To HARPAX.) Do you follow me, (To the AUDIENCE.) Now don’t you be expecting that I shall be returning home this way.

> Latin: Ballio:
Peregrinos absolvam, cras agam cum civibus.
Pseudolus mihi centuriata hábuit capitis comitia,
qui illum ad mé hodie adlegavit, mulierem qui abduceret.
sequere tu. nunc ne expectetis, dum hac domum redeam via;

[¶177] As matters stand, I’ve determined to go through the alleys.

> Latin: ita res gestast: angiporta haec certum est consectarier.

[¶178] HARPAX:
If you had walked at the rate you talk, you’d by this have been at the Forum.

> Latin: Harpax:
Si graderere tantum quantum loquere, iam esses ad forum.—

[¶179] BALLIO:
I’m determined to make this, instead of my birthday, my dying day.
(Exit BALLIO, HARPAX following.) (SIMO, alone)

> Latin: Ballio:
Certumst mi hunc emortualem facere ex natali die.—

[¶180] SIMO:
I’ve touched this fellow handsomely, and cleverly has my servant managed his adversary. Now am I resolved to lie in ambush for Pseudolus
in a different manner to what’s done in other plays, where people lie in wait with goads or whips. Without revenge will I at once pay down the twenty minae which I promised if he should effect it. I’ll carry them to him of my own accord. This creature is very clever, very cunning, very artful. Pseudolus has surpassed the Trojan stratagem and Ulysses too.

> Latin: Simo:
Bene ego illum tetigi, bene autem servos inimicum suom.
nunc mihi certum est alio pacto Pseudolo insidias dare,
quam in aliis comoediis fit, ubi cum stimulis aut flagris
insidiantur: at ego iam intus promam viginti minas,
quas promisi si effecisset; obviam ei ultro deferam.
nimis illic mortalis doctus, nimis vorsutus, nimis malus;
superavit dolum Troianum átque Vlixem Pseudolus.

[¶181] Now I’ll be off in-doors. I’ll take out the money; I’ll lie in ambush for Pseudolus.
(Goes into his house.) (Enter PSEUDOLUS, drunk, with a chaplet on his head.)
PSEUDOLUS: (staggering.)
How’s this? And is it the fact? Feet-are you standing or not? Or is it this you want, some; one to pick me up here as I lie? But, by my faith, if I do fall down, yours will be the fault. Are you going to go? Heigho! I must wait upon myself.
This is the great fault in wine; it first lays hold of the feet;’tis a cunning wrestler. By my faith, assuredly am I now come off right well drenched; with such exquisite viands, with such becoming elegance, in such a delightful place, have we been delightfully entertained.

> Latin: nunc ibo intro, argentum promam, Pseudolo insidias dabo.—
Psevdolvs:
Quid hóc? sicine hóc fit, pedés? statin án non?
an íd voltis, út me hinc iacéntem aliquis tóllat?
nam hércle si cécidero, véstrum erit flagítium.
pérgitin pérgere? ah, sérviendúm mihi
hodie ést; magnum hoc vitiúm vino est:
pedés captat prímum, luctátor dolósust.
profécto edepol égo nunc probe habeo madúlsam:
ita víctu excurato, íta magnis mundítiis ⟨et⟩ dis dígnis,
itaque ín loco festivó sumus festíve accepti.

[¶182] What’s the need for me to make much prosing? This is the thing for a man, an object for him to pass his life for; here are all pleasures and all delights. I think that the ecstasy is equal to that of the Deities, when the lover embraces his mistress, when he places lip to lip,
when melting kisses are exchanged, when breast is pressed to breast, or else, if they please, they are locked in strict embrace; then for your most loving mistress, with her white hand, to be pledging you in the luscious goblet, for no one there to be disagreable to another, for no one to be indulging in silly conversation;
for unguents and perfumes, ribbons and festive wreaths, to be provided in profusion; and for the rest of the entertainment, too, to be provided in no niggardly style. That no one may have to question me then, in this manner have myself and my young master been spending this day in jollity.
After I had fulfilled all my task just as I intended, the enemy put to flight, I was leaving them reclining and drinking, each lover with his mistress, and my own mistress there as well, indulging heart and soul. But after I had risen, they begged me to dance. After this fashion (he dances) did I show myself off there quite charmingly, in a master-like style, to wit; for I am
thoroughly acquainted with the Ionian step. Thus, clad in my little mantle, full of fun, I was stepping about, this way. Some of them clapped me, others cried out for me to dance again. In that same Ionian fashion once again did I begin to take a turn; I presented myself to my mistress,
that she might caress me; as I was pirouetting, down I tumbled: that was the funeral dirge for my sport. And so, while I was a-struggling to get up, near—, almost, I mean, I soiled my mantle.

> Latin: quid opúst me multas agere ámbages? hoc
est hómini quam ob rem vítam amet,
hic ómnes voluptatés, in hoc omnés venustatés sunt:
deis próximum esse árbitror.
nam úbi amans complexúst amantem, úbi ad labra labélla adiungit,
úbi alter alterúm bilingui mánifesto inter sé prehendunt,
ubi mámmam mammicula ópprimit aut, si lúbet, corpora condúplicantur,
manu cándida cantharum dúlciferum propínat amicissíma amico:
ibi iám neque esse alium alii ódiosum
nec mólestum nec sermónibus morologís uti,
unguénta atque odóres, lemníscos, coróllas
darí dapsilés, non ením parce prómi
(victúm ceterum ne quís me roget):
hóc ego modo átque erus minor húnc diem súmpsimus prothyme,
póstquam opus meum ómne ut volui pérpetravi hóstibus fugatis.
illós accubántis, potántis, amántis
cum scórtis relíqui, et meúm scortum ibídem,
suó cordi atque ánimo opsequéntes. sed póstquam
exúrrexi, oránt med ut sáltem.
ad hunc me modum intuli illis satis facete,
nimis ex discipulina, quippe ego qui
probe Ionica perdidici. sed palliolatim amictus
sic haec incessi ludibundus.
plaudúnt ⟨et⟩ “parúm” clamitánt mi, ut revértar.
óccepi dénuo, hóc modo: nólui
ídem; amicaé dabam mé meae,
út me amarét: ubi círcumvortór, cado:
id fúit naenia lúdo.
ítaque dum enitór, prox, iam paene ínquinavi pállium.

[¶183] Then, by my troth, I was the cause of plenteous mirth. A goblet was presented me on account of my fall. Forthwith I changed my mantle, and put on this; thence have I come hither, that I might get rid of my surfeit. Now I’m going to my old master, to put him in mind of our bargain. Open-open the door. Hallo, there! Tell Simo, somebody, that I’m here.
(Knocks at the door of SIMO’S house.) (Enter SIMO, from his house.)

> Latin: nímiae tum volúptati edepol
fúi ob casúm. datur cántharus: bibi.
commúto ilicó pallium, íllud posívi;
inde húc exií, crapulám dum amovérem.
núnc ab ero ad erum méum maiorem vénio foedus cómmemoratum.
áperite, aperite, heús, Simoni mé adesse aliquis núntiate.

[¶184] SIMO:
The voice of a rascally fellow is calling me out of doors. (He stares at PSEUDOLUS.) But what’s this? How’s this? What is it I see in this guise?
PSEUDOLUS: (staggering towards him.)

> Latin: Simo:
Vóx viri péssumi me éxciet foras.
séd quid hoc? quó modo? quíd video ego?

[¶185] Your own Pseudolus, drunk, with a chaplet on.
SIMO: (to himself.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Cúm corona ébrium Pseúdolum tuom.

[¶186] By my troth, this is free and easy indeed. But see his attitude; is he on my account a bit the more afraid?

> Latin: Simo:
Líbere hercle hóc quidem. séd vide statum.
núm mea grátia pértimescít magis?

[¶187] I’m thinking whether I shall address him harshly or kindly. But this (pointing to a purse in his hand) that I’m carrying forbids me to use rough measures towards him just now; if there’s any hope for me, centred in this.
PSEUDOLUS: (staggering up to SIMO.)

> Latin: cógito, saéviter blanditerne ádloquar.
sed me hóc votat vim fácere nunc
quód fero, sí qua in hoc spés sitast mihi.

[¶188] A worthless fellow is coming to meet the best of men.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vír malus viro óptumo obviam it.

[¶189] SIMO:
May the Gods bless you, Pseudolus. (PSEUDOLUS eructates.) Foh! go to utter perdition.
(Pushes him away.)

> Latin: Simo:
Dí te ament, Pseúdole. fú i in malám crucem.

[¶190] PSEUDOLUS:
But why should I have that mischance befal me?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Cur égo adflictor?

[¶191] SIMO:
Why, the plague, in your drunkenness, are you eructating in my face?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid tú, malum, in os igitúr mi ebrius inrúctas?

[¶192] PSEUDOLUS:
Hold me up, steadily; take care that I don’t fall. Don’t you see me, how drenched and soaking I am?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Mólliter síc tene mé, cave né cadam:
non vídes me ut madide mádeam?

[¶193] SIMO:
What impudence is this, for you to be going about this way in broad daylight, drunk, with a chaplet on?

> Latin: Simo:
Quae ístaec audáciast, té sic intérdius
cúm corolla ébrium incédere?

[¶194] PSEUDOLUS:
Such is my pleasure. (Eructates again.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Lubet.

[¶195] SIMO:
Why your pleasure? Do you persist in eructating in my very face?

> Latin: Simo:
Quíd, lubet? pérgin ructáre in os mihi?

[¶196] PSEUDOLUS:
An eructation is comforting to me; do indulge me in it; do but stand off.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Suávis ructús mihi est. síc sine, Simo.

[¶197] SIMO:
For my part I really do believe, you villain, that you are able in a single hour to drink up four right plentiful vintages of the Massic hills.

> Latin: Simo:
Credo équidem potesse té, scelus,
Mássici móntis ubérrumos quáttuor
frúctus ebíbere in hora úna.

[¶198] PSEUDOLUS:
A winter hour, add.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Hiberna áddito.

[¶199] SIMO:
You don’t remind me amiss. But tell me, however, whence I am to say that you are bringing your deeply-laden bark?

> Latin: Simo:
Hau mále mones, sed díc tamen,
únde onustám celocem ágere te praédicem?

[¶200] PSEUDOLUS:
I’ve just been having a thorough bout with your son.
That damsel is the cause of this; along with your son she is carousing, a free woman.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Cúm tuo fílio pérpotaví modo.
séd, Simo, ut probe táctus Ballio est!
quaé tibi díxi, ut effécta reddidi!

[¶201] SIMO:
You are a most worthless fellow.

> Latin: Simo:
Péssumu’s es homo.

[¶202] PSEUDOLUS:
But, Simo, wasn’t Ballio nicely diddled? How well I carried what I told you into effect.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Mulier haec facit.
cúm tuo fílio líbera accubat.

[¶203] SIMO:
I know everything in its order, just as you managed each particular.

> Latin: Simo:
ómnia, ut quícque egisti, órdine scio.

[¶204] PSEUDOLUS:
Why, then, do you hesitate to pay me the money?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quíd ergo dubitas dáre mi argentum?

[¶205] SIMO:
You ask what’s just, I confess; take it.
(Gives him the money.)

> Latin: Simo:
Iús petis, fateór. tene.

[¶206] PSEUDOLUS:
But you declared that you wouldn’t give it me; and still do you give it.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
át negabás daturum ésse te mihi.
onera húnc hominem atque me cónsequere hac.

[¶207] SIMO:
Are you laughing at me?
What? Are you going to take this from your master, Pseudolus?

> Latin: Simo:
Egone ístum onerém?

[¶208] PSEUDOLUS:
With most willing heart and soul.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Onerábis, scio.

[¶209] SIMO:
Prithee, can’t you venture to make me an abatement of some portion of this money?

> Latin: Simo:
Quid ego huíc homini faciám? satin ultro et argéntum aufert et me ínridet?

[¶210] PSEUDOLUS:
No: you shall say that I really am a greedy fellow; for you shall never be richer by a single coin of this money.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Vae víctis.

[¶211] SIMO:
Well,
I really didn’t suppose that it would ever come to pass with me that I should be begging of you.

> Latin: Simo:
Vorte ergo úmerum.

[¶212] PSEUDOLUS:
Load your shoulder with it, and follow me this way.
(Pointing.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Em.

[¶213] SIMO:
I—load myself with that?
PSEUDOLUS:
You will load yourself, I’m sure.
SIMO:
What am I to do to this fellow? Doesn’t he, contrary to my expectation, take my money, and then laugh at me?
PSEUDOLUS:
Woe to the conquered:
turn your back, then.
(Turns him round.)

> Latin: Simo:
Hóc ego numquam rátus sum
fore me, út tibi fierem súpplex.

[¶214] SIMO:
Oh! oh!
desist. Let me alone—
I’m in pain.

> Latin: heu heú heu.
Psevdolvs:
Desine.
Simo:
Dóleo.

[¶215] PSEUDOLUS:
Were you not in pain, I should be in pain;
and no compassion would you have had for my back, if I hadn’t this day managed this.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Ni doléres tu, ego dolérem.

[¶216] SIMO:
There will be an opportunity for me to be revenged on you, if I live.

> Latin: Simo:
Quid? hoc aúferen, Pseudole mi, aps tuo ero?

[¶217] PSEUDOLUS:
Why do you threaten? I’ve got a back of my own.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Lubentíssimo corde atque ánimo.
Simo:
Non aúdes, quaeso, aliquám partem mihi grátiam facere hinc árgenti?
Psevdolvs:
Non: mé dices avidum ésse hominem nam hinc númquam eris nummo dívitior;
neque té mei tergi mísereret, si hoc nón hodie ecfecíssem.
Simo:
Erit úbi te ulciscar, sí vivo.
Psevdolvs:
Quid mínitare? habeo térgum.

[¶218] SIMO:
Very well, then. (Moves as if going.)

> Latin: Simo:
Age sáne igitur.

[¶219] PSEUDOLUS:
Come you back then.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Redi.

[¶220] SIMO:
Why come back?

> Latin: Simo:
Quíd redeam?

[¶221] PSEUDOLUS:
Only come you back; you shall not be deceived.
SIMO: (turns round.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Redi módo: non eris decéptus.

[¶222] I am come back.
PSEUDOLUS:
Come and have a drink with me.

> Latin: Simo:
Redeó.
Psevdolvs:
Simul mecum ⟨i⟩ pótatum.

[¶223] SIMO:
What—I, come?

> Latin: Simo:
Egone éam?

[¶224] PSEUDOLUS:
Do as I ask you. If you do come, I’ll let you take half of this, or even more.
(Points to the purse in his hand.)

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Fac quod te iúbeo:
si is, aút dimidium aut plús etiam faxo hínc feres.

[¶225] SIMO:
I’ll come; take me where you like, Pseudolus.

> Latin: Simo:
Eo, duc mé quo vis.

[¶226] PSEUDOLUS:
How now then? Are you at all angry with me or with your son, Simo, on account of these matters?

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Quid núnc? numquid íratus és aut mihi aút filió propter hás res, Simó?

[¶227] SIMO:
Certainly, not at all.

> Latin: Simo:
Nil profécto.

[¶228] PSEUDOLUS: (going.)
Step this way now.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
I hac.

[¶229] SIMO:
I follow you. But why don’t you invite the Spectators as well?
PSEUDOLUS: (turning round.)

> Latin: Ballio:
Té sequor. quín vocas spéctatorés simul?

[¶230] I’ faith, they are not in the habit of inviting me; and, therefore, I don’t invite them. But if you (addressing the AUDIENCE) are willing to applaud and approve of this company of players, and this Comedy,
I invite you for to-morrow.

> Latin: Psevdolvs:
Hércle me isti haú solent
vocáre, neque ergo ego ístos;
vérum si vóltis adplaúdere atque ádprobare
húnc gregem et fábulam,
in crástinum vos vocábo.