---
title: "Truculentus"
author: "Plautus"
translator: "Henry Thomas Riley"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/
cite: "Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley, Truculentus. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/"
---

# Truculentus

*Plautus, tr. Henry Thomas Riley*

A courtesan plays three lovers against each other.

> Latin: ed. Friedrich Leo, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi0119.phi020, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Thomas Riley, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi0119.phi020.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (line numbers), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Lines 1–343](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/1.md)
2. [Lines 344–683](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/2.md)
3. [Lines 684–968](https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/3.md)

## 1. Lines 1–343

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/1/#p-N

[¶0] PROLOGUS:
A VERY small portion of room does Plautus ask from out of your vast and pleasant city within the walls, whither, without builders, he may transport Athens. What then? Will you give it or not? They nod assent.

> Latin: Perparvam partem postulat Plautus loci
de vestris magnis atque amoenis moenibus,
Athenas quo sine architectis conferat.
quid nunc? daturin estis an non? adnuont.

[¶1] I fancied, indeed, that I should obtain it of you without hesitation. What if I were to ask something of your private means? They shake their heads. Only see, i’ faith, how the ancient habit still indwells among you, to keep your tongues ever ready for a denial. But let’s to the point, on account of which I came hither.

> Latin: scio rém quidem urbis me ablaturum sine mora;
quid si de vostro quippiam orem? abnuont.
eu hercle in vobis resident mores pristini,
ad denegandum ut celeri lingua utamini.
sed hoc agamus quá huc ventumst gratia.

[¶2] Let this be Athens, just as this is our stage, only for the while that we perform this Play. Here (pointing to her house) dwells a female whose name is Phronesium; she has in herself the manners of the present age; she never asks of her lover that which has been given;
but what is left, she does her best that it mayn’t be left, by begging for it and carrying it off, as is the habit of the women; for all of them do this when they discover that they are loved. She is pretending to a Captain that she has been brought to bed, that the more speedily she may sweep away his property from him every atom.

> Latin: Athenis mutabo ita ut hoc est proscaenium
tantisper dum transigimus hanc comoediam.
hic habitat mulier, nomen cui est Phronesium;
haec huius saecli mores in se possidet:
numquam ab amatore [suo] postulat id quod datumst,
sed relicuom dat operam ne sit relicuom,
poscendo atque auferendo, ut mos est mulierum;
nam omnes id faciunt, cum se amari intellegunt.
…
ea se peperisse puerum simulat militi,
quo citius rem ab eo averrat cum pulvisculo.

[¶3] Why say more? If the life of this woman should only last, he will be sweeping off his substance with his very life into her hands. …
(Enter DINARCHUS.)
DINARCHUS: (to himself)
Not a whole life is sufficient for a lover thoroughly to learn, until he has become full well aware of this, in how many modes he may come to ruin; nor does Venus herself, in whose hands lie the sum and substance of lovers, ever instruct us in that art of reckoning—
in how many ways one in love may be deluded, in how many modes he may come to ruin, and with how many modes of entreaty he may be entreated. How many blandishments are there in it, how many pettish ways in it, how many perils must be courted! Ye Gods! by our trust in you! Hey!
what ground for perjury as well, besides the everlasting presents! In the first place then, there’s the yearly allowance; that’s her first haul. For that the favour of three nights is granted. In the meantime she’s trying for either money, or wine, or oil, or corn, to prove whether you are lavish or thrifty.

> Latin: quid multa? †stuic superet muliere
†hiscum anima ad eum habenti erce teritur.
…
Diniarchvs:
Non omnis aetas ad perdiscendum sat est
amanti, dum id perdiscat, quot pereat modis;
neque eam rationem eapse umquam educet Venus,
quam penes amantum summa summarum redit,
quot amans exemplis ludificetur, quot modis
pereat quotque exoretur exorabulis:
quot illíc blanditiae, quót illic iracundiae
sunt, quot supplicia danda, di vostram fidem, hui,
quid perierandum est etiam, praeter munera:
primumdum merces annua, is primus bolust,
ob eam tres noctes dantur; interea loci
†aut ara aut vinum aut oleum aut triticum,
temptat benignusne an bonae frugi sies:

[¶4] Just like the person that throws a casting-net into a fish-pond; when the net has gone and sunk, then he contracts the folds; but if he has rightly thrown it, he takes care that the fish may not escape; then in this direction and that does he enfold the fish netted well, until he has taken them out of the water:

> Latin: quasi in piscinam rete qui iaculum parat,
quando abiit rete pessum, adducit lineam;
si inierit rete piscis, ne effugiat cavet:
dum huc dum illuc rete ⟨circumv⟩or⟨tit⟩, impedit
piscis usque adeo donicum eduxit foras.

[¶5] just so is the lover. If he gives that which is asked for, and is lavish rather than thrifty, nightly favours are given in addition. Meanwhile he swallows down the hook. If once he has partaken of the cup of love unmixed, and that draught has made its way within his breast,
forthwith both himself is ruined, and his fortune, and his credit. If the mistress is angry with her lover perchance, doubly is the lover ruined, both in fortune and in mind; but if one man is preferable to another in her eyes, just as much is he ruined; if he enjoys but few of her favours, in mind is he ruined;

> Latin: itidem si amator id quod oratur dedit
atque est benignus potius quam frugi bonae
[adduntur noctes, interim ille hamum vorat],
si semel amoris poculum accepit meri
eaque intra pectus se penetravit potio,
extemplo et ipsus periit et res et fides.
si iratum scortumst forte amatori suo,
bis perit amator, ab re atque ⟨ab⟩ animo simul;
sin alter altri propitiust, idem perit:
si raras noctes ducit, ab animo perit;

[¶6] if he enjoys them in abundance, he himself is joyous, his fortunes are ruined. … Thus is it in the houses kept by procurers; before you’ve given a single thing, she’s preparing a hundred to ask for; either a golden trinket’s lost, or a mantle has been torn, or a female servant bought; or some silver vessel, or some vessel of brass, or expensive couch,
or a Grecian cabinet, or there’s always something to be lost and for the lover to be replacing for his mistress. And with one common earnestness do we conceal these losses while we are losing our fortunes, and our credit, and ourselves, lest our parents or our relatives should know something;

> Latin: sin crebras ducit, ipsus gaudet, res perit.
†iteca in aedibus lenosis†
prius quam únum dederis, centum quae poscat parat:
aut periit aurum aút conscissa pallula est
aut empta ancilla aut aliquod vasum argenteum
aut vasum ahenum antiquom aut lectus †laptiles
aut armariola Graeca, aut aliquid semper ⟨est⟩
quod † petra debeatque amans scorto suo.
atque haec celamus nos clam magna industria,
quom rem fidemque nosque nosmet perdimus,
ne qui parentes neu cognati sentiant;

[¶7] whom, while we conceal it from them, if we were to make acquainted with it, for them in time to restrain our youthful age, we should be giving what has been received from them before to our descendants in reversion; I’d be for causing, that as there are now more procurers and harlots, there should be fewer and fewer of spendthrift fellows than there are at present; for now-a-days there are almost more procurers and harlots
than flies at the time when it is most hot. For, if they are nowhere else, the procurers with their harlots are around the bankers’ shops each day as though on siege. That score is the principal one; inasmuch as I know for certain, that now-a-days there are more harlots ready for the money than there are weights for weighing it.

> Latin: quos cum celamus si faximus conscios,
qui nostrae aetati tempestivo temperent,
unde anteparta demus postpartoribus,
faxim lenonum et scortorum † plus est
et minus damnosorum hominum quam nunc sunt siet.
nam nunc lenonum et scortorum plus est fere,
quam olim muscarum est cum caletur maxime.
nam nusquam alibi si sunt, circum argentarias
scorta ⟨et⟩ lenones qui sedent cottidie,
ea nimia est ratio; quippe qui certo scio,
ibi plus scortorum esse iam quam ponderum.

[¶8] And I really don’t know what purpose to say it is to serve that these procurers are thus keeping them at the bankers’ shops, except as in the place of account-books, where the sums lent on loan may be set down—the sums received I mean, those expended let no one take count of. In fine, in a great nation, amid numberless persons,
the state being tranquil and in quiet, the enemy vanquished, it befits all to be in love who have anything to give. Now, this Courtesan (pointing to the house) Phronesium, who dwells here, has totally expelled from my breast her own name. Phronesium, for Phronesis is wisdom. For I confess that I was with her first and foremost;
a thing that’s very disastrous to a lover’s cash. The same woman, after she had found another out, a greater spendthrift, who would give more, a Babylonian Captain, whom the hussy said was troublesome and odious to her, forthwith banished me from the spot. He now is said
to be about to arrive from abroad. For that reason has she now cooked up this device; she pretends that she has been brought to bed. That she may push me out of doors, and with the Captain alone live the life of a jovial Greek, she pretends that this Captain is the father of the child; for that reason does this most vile hussy need a palmed-off child. She fancies that she’s deceiving me! Does she suppose that
she could have concealed it from me, if she had been pregnant? Now I arrived at Athens the day before yesterday from Lemnos, whither I have been on an embassy from this place on the public service. But who’s this woman? It’s her servant-maid Astaphium. With her too as well I’ve had some acquaintanceship.
(Stands aside.) (Enter ASTAPHIUM, from the house of PHRONESIUM.)
ASTAPHIUM: (speaking to the SERVANTS within.)

> Latin: quos quidem quam ád rem dicam in argentariis
referre habere, nisi pro tabulis, nescio,
ubi aera perscribantur usuraria:
accepta dico, expensa ne qui censeat.
postremo id magno in populo † mulier hominibus,
re placida atque otiosa, victis hostibus:
amare oportet omnes qui quod dent habent.
nam mihi haec méretrix quae hic habet, Phronesium,
suom nómen omne ex pectore exmovit meo,
phronesim, nam phronesis est sapientia.
nam me fuisse huic fateor summum atque intumum,
quod amantis multo pessimum est pecuniae;
eadem postquam alium repperit qui plus daret,
damnosiorem, † mihi exinde immovit loco,
quem antehác odiosum sibi esse memorabat mala,
Babyloniensem militem. is nunc dicitur
venturus peregre; eo nunc commenta est dolum:
peperisse simulat sese, ut me extrudat foras
atque ut cum solo pergraecetur milite;
eum esse simulat militem puero patrem.
eum istí suppositum puerum opinor pessumae.
mihi verba retur dare se? án me censuit
celare se potesse, gravida si foret?
nam ego Lemno advenio Athenas nudius tertius,
legatus hinc quo cum publico imperio fui.
sed haec quidem eius Astaphium est ancillula;
cum ea quoque etiam mihi fuit commercium.

[¶9] Listen at the door and guard the house, that no one who comes may go away more loaded than he came, or who has brought empty hands into our house may take them full out of it. (To herself.) I know the ways of people; of such habits are the young men now-a-days.
For as soon as ever the jolly companions have arrived at the courtesans’ houses, their plans are formed. When they’ve arrived in-doors, some one of them is incessantly bestowing kisses on his mistress. While they are engaged, the others are pilfering. But if they see that any one is observing them, they play some trick, by which to amuse the observer with pleasantry and sport. Full oft do they devour that belonging to us just as the sausage-makers do.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ad fores auscultate atque adservate aedis,
ne quis adventor gravior abaetat quam adveniat,
neu, qui manus attulerit steriles intro ad nos,
gravidas foras exportet. novi ego hominum mores;
ita nunc adulescentes morati sunt: quini
aut seni adveniunt ad scorta congerrones;
consulta sunt consilia: quando intro advenerunt,
oenús eorum aliqui oscúlum amicae usque oggerít, dum illi agant ceterí cleptae;
sin vídent quempiam se adsérvare, obludiánt qui custodem óblectent
per ióculum et ludum; dé nostro saepe édunt: quod fartorés, faciunt.

[¶10] Upon my faith, this is the case, and some of the Spectators (to the AUDIENCE), i’ faith, you know full well that I tell no lie in this. There with them is the struggle and the valour, to carry oft a booty from the plunderers.
But we again nicely give a like return to these robbers of us; for they themselves look on, while we are heaping up their property; indeed, of their own accord even do they themselves bring it to us.
DINARCHUS: (apart.)

> Latin: fit pól hoc, et pars spectátorum scitís pol haec vos me haud méntiri,
†ibi sibus pugnae et vírtuti de praédonibus praedám capere.
at ecástor nos rursúm lepide referímus gratiam furíbus nostris:
nam ipsí vident cum eorum ággerimus bona atque étiam ultro ipsi aggerúnt ad nos.

[¶11] In those words she’s surely lashing myself; for I’ve been heaping up presents there.
ASTAPHIUM: (in answer to some one who calls from PHRONESIUM’S house.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Me illís quidem haec verberat vérbis,
nam ego húc bona mea degéssi.

[¶12] I well recollect it. I’ troth, his own self, if he’s at home, I’ll at once bring here with me.
(Runs on.)
DINARCHUS: (calling out.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Commémini, iam pol ego eúmpse ad nos, si dómi erit, mecum addúcam.

[¶13] Hallo! Astaphium, do stop a moment, before you go away.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Heus, máne dum, Astaphium, príus quam abis.

[¶14] ASTAPHIUM:
Who’s calling me back?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quí revocat?

[¶15] DINARCHUS:
You shall know; look back this way.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Scies: réspice huc.

[¶16] ASTAPHIUM:
Who is it?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quis est?

[¶17] DINARCHUS:
One who wishes many a blessing to yourselves.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vobís qui multa bóna esse volt.

[¶18] ASTAPHIUM:
Give them then, if you wish us to have them.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Dato, si ésse vis.

[¶19] DINARCHUS:
I’ll let you have them. Only do look back this way.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Fáxo erunt. réspice huc modo.

[¶20] ASTAPHIUM:
O dear, you’re teazing wretched me to death, whoever you are.
(Runs on.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Oh,
enícas me miseram, quísquis es.

[¶21] DINARCHUS:
Worst of women, stop.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Péssuma, mane.

[¶22] ASTAPHIUM:
Best of men, go on; you are troublesome. (Turns round.) Is that Dinarchus? Why, it is he.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Óptume, odio es.
Díniarchusne íllic est? átque is est.

[¶23] DINARCHUS:
He’s going to your house;

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Sálva sis.
Astaphivm:
Ét tu.

[¶24] and do you give me your hand (holding out his) in return, and walk together with me.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Fer cóntra manum et paritér gradere.

[¶25] ASTAPHIUM:
I am your servant, and am obedient to your command.
(Gives her hand.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Tuis sérvio atque audiens sum ímperiis.

[¶26] DINARCHUS:
Yourself, how are you?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid agís?

[¶27] ASTAPHIUM:
I’m well, and am holding by the hand one who’s well. Since you’ve arrived from abroad, a dinner must be given.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Valeo et validúm teneo.
péregre quoniam ádvenis, céna detur.

[¶28] DINARCHUS:
You speak obligingly.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Bene dícis benignequé vocas, Astáphium.

[¶29] ASTAPHIUM:
But, prithee, do let me go whither she ordered me.
(Withdrawing her hand.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Amabo,
sine me íre, era quo iussít.

[¶30] DINARCHUS: (lets go her hand.)
Be off then. But how say you—?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Eas. sed quíd ais?

[¶31] ASTAPHIUM:
What do you want?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid vis?

[¶32] DINARCHUS:
He, that you are on your road to, who is it that you’re going to fetch?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Dic quó iter inceptás; quis est quem arcéssis?

[¶33] ASTAPHIUM:
Achiva, the midwife.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Archilínem
†obstetricem.

[¶34] DINARCHUS:
You are an artful damsel.
ASTAPHIUM:
I’m as usual then; that’s my practice.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Mála tu femina es, oles únde es disciplinam.

[¶35] DINARCHUS:
You deceitful hussy, I’ve caught you detected in a lie.
ASTAPHIUM:
How so, pray?

> Latin: manifesto mendaci, mala, teneo te.
Astaphivm:
Quid iam, amabo?

[¶36] DINARCHUS:
Because you said that you were going to bring “his own self,” and not “herself.” A woman, then, has been made out of a man. You are an artful one.
ASTAPHIUM:
A conjurer!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quia te adducturam huc dixeras eumpse, non eampse;
nunc mulier facta est iam ex viro: mala es praestrigiatrix.

[¶37] DINARCHUS:
But, pray, tell me, Astaphium who is this person? A new lover?

> Latin: sed tandem eloquere, quis is homost, Astaphium? novos amator?

[¶38] ASTAPHIUM:
I think that you are a gentleman too much at his ease.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Nimis otiosum te arbitror hominem esse.

[¶39] DINARCHUS:
Why now do you think so?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Qui arbitrare?

[¶40] ASTAPHIUM:
Because you trouble yourself about things that don’t concern your own clothing and food.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quia tuo vestimento et cibo alienis rebus curas.

[¶41] DINARCHUS:
It’s yourselves have made me a gentleman at ease.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vos mihi dedistis otium.

[¶42] ASTAPHIUM:
Why so?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Qui, amabo?

[¶43] DINARCHUS:
I’ll explain it to you. I’ve lost my property; with my property you’ve robbed me of occupation.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ego expedibo.
rem perdidi apud vos, vos meum negotium abstulistis.

[¶44] If I had preserved my property, there had been something with which I might have been occupied.

> Latin: si rem servassem, fuit ubi negotiosus essem.

[¶45] ASTAPHIUM:
And do you suppose that you can possibly well manage the affairs of state, or those of love, on any other terms without being a gentleman at ease?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
An tu te Veneris publicum aut Amoris alia lege
habere posse postulas, quin otiosus fias?

[¶46] DINARCHUS:
It was she held a public employment, not I; you misinterpret me. But, against the law, in spite of my tax paid for pasturage, she has received other cattle beside myself.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Illa, haud ego, habuit publicum: pervorse interpretaris;
nam advorsum legem meam ob meam scripturam pecudem cepit.

[¶47] ASTAPHIUM:
Most persons who manage their property badly, do the same as you are doing; when they haven’t wherewith to pay the tax, they blame the farmers of the taxes.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Plerique idem quod tu facis faciunt rei male gerentes:
ubi non est, scripturam unde dent, incusant publicanos.

[¶48] DINARCHUS:
My pasturage contract with you turns out but badly; now in its turn, I wish to have, according to my narrow circumstances, a little bit of arable land here with you.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Male vertit res pecuaria mihi apud vos: nunc vicissim
volo habere aratiunculam pro copia hic apud vos.

[¶49] ASTAPHIUM:
Here is no arable, but the field is pasture land. If
you desire some ploughing, you had better go to those who are in the habit of ploughing; we hold this public emolument, the right of pasturage; those are farmers of other taxes.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Non arvos hic, sed pascuost ager: si arationes
habituru's habiturus es, quí arari solent, ad pueros ire meliust.
hunc nos habemus publicum, illi alii sunt publicani.

[¶50] DINARCHUS:
Full well enough do I know both sides.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vtrosque pergnovi probe.

[¶51] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ troth, it’s that way you are a gentleman at ease, since you’ve been going wrong both in that direction and in this. But the acquaintance of which do you like the best?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Em istoc pol tu otiosu's otiosus es,
cum et illíc et hic pervorsus es. sed utriscum rem esse mavis?

[¶52] DINARCHUS:
You are the more exacting, but they are perjured.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Procaciores estis vos, sed illí periuriores;

[¶53] Whatever’s given to them is lost outright, nor with themselves is there any show at all of it; you, if you gain anything, do at least drink and feast it away. In short, they are unprincipled; you are good-for-nothings, and full of airs.

> Latin: illis perit quidquid datur, neque ipsís apparet quicquam:
vos saltem si quid quaeritis, ecbibitis et comestis.
postremo illi sunt improbi, vos nequam et gloriosae.

[¶54] ASTAPHIUM:
All this abuse which, Dinarchus, you are uttering against us and them, you utter against yourself, both as respects us and them.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Male quae in nos vis, ea omnia tibi dicis, Diniarche,
et nostram et illorum vicem.

[¶55] DINARCHUS:
How’s that?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Qui istuc?

[¶56] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ll tell the reason;

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Rationem dicam:

[¶57] because he who accuses another of dishonesty, him it behoves to look into himself. You who are so prudent, have got nothing from us; we, who are good-for-nothings, have got all out of you.

> Latin: quia qui alterum incusat probri, sumpse enitere oportet.
tu a nobis sapiens nihil habes, nos nequam abs ted habemus.

[¶58] DINARCHUS:
O Astaphium! you were not in the habit of speaking to me in that fashion formerly, but courteously, when I myself possessed that which is now in your possession.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
O Ástaphium, haud istoc modo solita es me ante appellare,
sed blande, cum illuc, quod apud vos nunc est, apud me habebam.

[¶59] ASTAPHIUM:
While he’s alive, you may know a person; when he’s dead, you may keep yourself quiet.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Dum vivit, hominem noveris: ubi mortuost, quiescat.

[¶60] I used to know you when you were alive.
DINARCHUS:
Do you consider me to be dead?

> Latin: te dum vivebas noveram.
Diniarchvs:
An me mortuom arbitrare?

[¶61] ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, how can it be plainer? He who formerly was esteemed a first-rate lover, for him to be bringing to his mistress nought but lamentations.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Qui potis [est], amabo, planius? qui antehac amator summus
habitu's habitus es, nunc ad amicam venis querimoniam deferre.

[¶62] DINARCHUS:
I’ faith, through your own faults it was done, who in former days were in haste to plunder me. You ought to have done it leisurely, that, unscathed, I might last the longer for you.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vestra hercle factum iniuria, quae properavistis olim:
rapere otiose oportuit, diu ut essem incolumis vobis.

[¶63] ASTAPHIUM:
A lover is like an enemy’s fortress.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Amator similest oppidi hostilis.

[¶64] DINARCHUS:
On what ground?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quo argumento [est]?

[¶65] ASTAPHIUM:
The sooner the lover can be taken by storm, the better it is for the mistress.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quam primum expugnari potis [est], tam id optimum est amicae.

[¶66] DINARCHUS:
I confess it; but far different is the friend from the lover. I’ faith, for sure, the oldest friend’s the best one possible for a man.
I’ faith, my lands and tenements are not yet all gone.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ego fateor, sed longe aliter est amicus atque amator:
certe hercle quam veterrimus, tam homini optimust amicus.
Astaphivm:
⟨Si vivit.⟩
Diniarchvs:
Non hercle occidi, sunt mi etiam fundi et aedis.

[¶67] ASTAPHIUM:
Why then, prithee, are you standing before the door as a stranger and an alien? Do go in-doors. Really you are no stranger; for, upon my faith, not one person this day does she more love in her heart and soul—(aside) if, indeed, you’ve got land and tenements.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Cur, obsecro, ergo ante ostium pro ignoto alienoque astas?
⟨i⟩ intro, haud alienus tu quidem es; nam ecastor neminem hodie
mage amat corde atque animo suo, si quidem habes fundum atque aedis.

[¶68] DINARCHUS:
Your tongues and talk are steeped in honey; your doings and dispositions are steeped in gall and sour vinegar.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
In melle sunt linguae sitae vostrae atque orationes,
facta atque corda in felle sunt sita atque acerbo aceto:

[¶69] From your tongues you utter sweet words; you make your lovers of bitter heart if any don’t give you presents.

> Latin: eo dicta lingua dulcia datis, córde amara facitis.

[¶70] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ve not learnt to say what’s false.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
[Amantes si qui non danunt, † non didici fabulari.]

[¶71] DINARCHUS:
It was not this liberality of mine that taught you to say what’s false, but those niggardly fellows who are struggling against their appetites.

> Latin: non istaec, mea benignitas, decuit te fabulari,
sed istós qui cum geniis suis belligerant parcipromi.

[¶72] You are a sly one, and the same artful coaxer that you used to be.
ASTAPHIUM:
How ardently longed for
have you returned from abroad! But, prithee, do come, my mistress wants to see you.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Mala es atque eadem quae soles inlecebra.
Astaphivm:
Vt exspectatus
peregre advenisti, quam, obsecro, cupiebat te era videre.

[¶73] DINARCHUS:
How so, pray?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid tandem?

[¶74] ASTAPHIUM:
You alone of all mankind does she love.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Te unum ex omnibus amat.

[¶75] DINARCHUS: (aside.)
Well done, lands and tenements; you have come to my aid in good time. (To ASTAPHIUM.) But how say you, Astaphium—?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Euge, fundi et aedis,
per tempus subvenistis. sed quid ais, Astaphium?

[¶76] ASTAPHIUM:
What do you want?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid vis?

[¶77] DINARCHUS:
Is Phronesium in-doors just now?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Estne intus nunc Phronesium?

[¶78] ASTAPHIUM:
To you at all events she’s in-doors.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Vtut aliis, tibi quidem intus.

[¶79] DINARCHUS:
Is she well?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Valetne?

[¶80] ASTAPHIUM:
Aye, faith, and I do believe she’ll be still better when she sees you.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Immo edepol melius iam fore spero, te ubi videbit.

[¶81] DINARCHUS:
This is our greatest fault: when we’re in love, then we are undone; if that which we wish is told us, when manifestly they are telling lies, in our folly we believe it to be true; verily as though with a tide we fluctuate.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Hoc nobis vitium maxumumst, cum amamus tum ⟨hoc⟩ perimus:
si illud quod volumus dicitur, palam cum mentiuntur,
verum esse insciti credimus, ne ut iusta utamur ira.

[¶82] ASTAPHIUM:
Heyday now—such is not the fact.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Heia, haud itast res.

[¶83] DINARCHUS:
Do you say that she loves me?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ain tu eam me amare?

[¶84] ASTAPHIUM:
Aye, you only, alone.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Immo unice unum.

[¶85] DINARCHUS:
I heard that she was brought to bed.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Peperisse audivi.

[¶86] ASTAPHIUM:
Oh, prithee, Dinarchus, do hold your tongue.
DIN,:
Why so?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ah obsecro, tace, Diniarche.
Diniarchvs:
Quid iam?

[¶87] ASTAPHIUM:
I shudder in my alarm, as often as mention is made of childbirth, with such difficulty has Phronesium survived for you. Prithee, do come in-doors now; do go to see her and wait there a little. She’ll be out just now; for she was at the bath.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Horresco misera, mentio quotiens fit partionis,
ita paene nulla tibi fuit Phronesium. i intro, amabo,
vise illam. atque opperimino: iam exibit; nam lavabat.

[¶88] DINARCHUS:
What do you say? She who was never pregnant, how could she be brought to bed? For really, I never, that I am aware of, perceived her to be in a breeding state.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid ais tu? quae numquam fuit praegnas, qui parere potuit?
nam équidem illi uterum, quod sciam, numquam extumere sensi.

[¶89] ASTAPHIUM:
She concealed it from you and was afraid, lest you should persuade her to have recourse to abortion, and so destroy the child.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Celabat metuebatque te, ne tu sibi persuaderes,
ut abortioni operam daret puerumque ut enicaret.

[¶90] DINARCHUS:
Troth then, who’s the father of this child?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Tum pol isti ést puero pater Babyloniensis miles,
quoius núnc ista adventum expetit.

[¶91] ASTAPHIUM:
A Babylonian Captain, whose arrival she is now expecting.
So much so, indeed, that, according as was reported, they say that he’ll be here just now. I wonder he has not arrived by this.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Immo ab eo ut nuntiatumst,
iam hic adfuturum aiunt eum. nondum advenisse miror.

[¶92] DINARCHUS:
Shall I go in, then?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ibo igitur intro?

[¶93] ASTAPHIUM:
Why not? As boldly as at home, into your own house; for even still are you now one of us, Dinarchus.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quippini? tam audacter quam domum ad te;
nam tu quidem edepol noster es etiam nunc, Diniarche.

[¶94] DINARCHUS:
How soon are you on your return?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quam mox te huc recipis?

[¶95] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ll be there this instant; it’s close at hand where I was going.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Iam hic ero: propest, profecta quo sum.

[¶96] DINARCHUS:
But do return directly; meanwhile I’ll wait for you at your house. (He goes into the house of PHRONESIUM.)
(ASTAPHIUM, alone.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Redi véro actutum. ego interim hic apud vos opperibor.—

[¶97] ASTAPHIUM: (laughing.)
Ha, ha, ha! I’m at rest,
since my plague has gone in-doors; now, indeed, I shall speak according to my own inclination, freely, as I please. My mistress has sung a funeral dirge at our house for this fellow, her lover, over his estate; for his lands and tenements are mortgaged for his treats in his amour.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Hahahaé, requievi,
quia íntro abiit odiúm meum.
tandém sola súm. nunc quidém meo arbitrátu
loquár liberé quae volam ét quae lubébit.
huic hómini amanti méa era apud nos naéniam dixit domi,
nam fundi et aedis obligatae sunt ob Amoris praedium.

[¶98] But with him does my mistress speak freely upon the objects of her plans, and so he is rather a friend by way of counsel to her than by way of maintenance. While he had it, he gave; now he has got nothing; what he did have, we have got; what we had, he has now got the same. The common course of things has happened. Fortunes are wont to change upon the instant. Life is checquered.

> Latin: verum apud hunc mea era sua consilia summa eloquitur libere,
magisque ádeo ei consiliarius hic amicust quam auxiliarius.
dum fuit, dedit; nunc nihil habet: quod habebat nos habemus,
iste id habet quod nos habuimus. humanum facinus factumst.
actutum fortunae solent mutari, varia vitast:

[¶99] We remember him as rich, and he us as poor; our reminiscences have shifted places. He must be a fool to wonder at it. If he is in want, it’s necessary that he should allow us to make a living; that’s proper to be done.’Twere a disgrace for us to have compassion on men that squander away their fortunes. A clever Procuress ought to have good teeth;
to smile upon whoever comes, to address him in flattering terms; to design mischief in her heart, but to speak fairly with her tongue. A Courtesan it befits to be like a briar; whatever man she touches, for either mischief or loss certainly to be the result. A Courtesan ought never to listen to the plea of a lover,
but, when he has nothing to give, do you pack him off home from service as a deserter; and never is any gallant good for anything unless he’s one who is the enemy of his own fortune. It’s trifling, if, when he has just given, he doesn’t take a pleasure in giving afresh. That person’s esteemed with us who forgets that that has been given which he has given. As long as he has anything, so long let him go on loving; when he has got nothing, then let him look out another employment;

> Latin: nos divitem istum meminimus atque iste pauperes nos:
verterunt sese memoriae; stultus sit qui id miretur.
si eget, necessest nos pati: amavit, aequom ei factum est.
piaculumst miserere nos hominum rei male gerentum.
[bonis ésse oportet déntibus lenám probam,]
[adripere ut quisquis veniat blandeque adloqui,]
[male corde consultare, bene lingua loqui.]
meretricem sentis similem ésse condecet,
quémquem hominem attigerit, profecto ei aut malum aut damnum dare.
numquam amatoris meretricem oportet causam noscere,
quin, ubi nil det, pro infrequente eum mittat militia domum.
nec umquam erit probus quísquam amator nisi qui rei inimicust suae.
nugae sunt nisi, modo quom dederit, dare iam lubeat denuo;
is amatur hic apud nos, qui quod dedit id oblitust datum.
dum habeat, dúm amet; ubi nil habeat, alium quaestum coepiat.

[¶100] if he himself has got nothing, let him, with a contented mind, make way for others who have. He’s a proper lover who, neglecting his affairs, squanders away his property. But among themselves the men declare that we act ill, and are greedy. Prithee, do we in fact at all act ill? For, by my troth, never did any lover whatever give enough to his mistress;
nor, i’ faith, have we ever received enough, nor has any woman ever asked for enough. For when a gallant is barren with his gifts … If he denies that he has anything to give, alone … Nor do we receive enough, when a person has not enough to give us. It is ever our duty to look after fresh givers,
who take from untouched treasures, and make presents to us. Just like this young man from the country, who dwells here (pointing to the house where STRABAX lives), i’ faith, a very pleasant creature, and a very bounteous giver. But he, without the knowledge of his father, even this very last night, leapt over the wall by way of the garden, and came to our house. I wish to meet with him.

> Latin: aequo animo, ipse si nihil habeat, aliis quí habent, det locum.
[probust amator, qui relictis rebus rem perdit suam.]
at nós male agere praedicant viri solere secum,
nosque esse avaras. qui sumus? quid male nos agimus tandem?
nam ecastor numquam satis dedit suae quísquam amicae amator,
neque pol nos satis accepimus neque umquam úlla satis poposcit.
nam quando sterilis est amator ab datis,
si negat se habere quod det, soli credimus,
nec satis accipimus, satis cum quod det non habet:
semper datores novos oportet quaerere,
qui de thensauris integris demus danunt.
velút hic agrestis est adulescens, qui hic habet,
nimis pól mortalis lepidus nimisque probus dator.
[sed is clam patrem etiam hac nocte illac]
[per hortum transiluit ad nos. eum volo convenire.]

[¶101] But one servant has he, a very great savage, who, when he sees any one of us near the door, if you approach that way, drives us off just as he scares the geese away with his noise from the corn; he’s such a bumpkin. But come what may, I’ll knock at the door.
(Knocks at the door, and calls.) Who, I wonder, has the keeping of this door? Is anybody coming out from in-doors?
(Enter STRATILAX, from the house of the FATHER of STRABAX.)

> Latin: sed est huic unus servos violentissimus,
qui ubi quámque nostrarum videt prope hasce aédis adgrediri,
item ut de frumento anseres, clamore absterret abigit;
ita est agrestis. sed fores, quidquid ést futurum, feriam.
ecquis huíc tutelam ianuae gerit? ecquis intus exit?

[¶102] STRATILAX:
Who’s this, that’s so sturdily plying his batteringram against our door?

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Quís illic est qui tam proterve nostras aedis arietat?

[¶103] ASTAPHIUM:
It’s I. Look round at me.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ego sum, respice ad me.

[¶104] STRATILAX:
Who’s I?
ASTAPHIUM:
Am I not seen by you?
STRATILAX: (turning to her.)

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Quid ego? nonne egó videor tibi?

[¶105] Woe worth thee! What mean you by this coming so near this door, or why’s this knocking?

> Latin: quid tibi ad hasce accessio aedis est prope aut pultatio?

[¶106] ASTAPHIUM:
Health to you.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Salve.

[¶107] STRATILAX:
Enow of thy health have I; I care nought for’t, I’ve got no health;

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Sat mihi est tuae salutis. nil moror. non salveo?

[¶108] I’d rather be sick, than be a bit the sounder with health from thee. This I want to know, what’s owing thee here in our house?

> Latin: aegrotare malim quam esse tua salute sanior.
sed volo scíre, quid debetur hic tibi nostrae domi?

[¶109] ASTAPHIUM:
Do keep close—

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Comprime sis eiram.

[¶110] STRATILAX:
Yea, faith, to my own good woman I trust; let him keep close to thee whose habit ’tis. A rare fine joke! a silly hussy to be tempting a countryman to naughty tricks.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Eam quidem hercle tu, quae solita es, comprime,
impudens, quae per ridiculum rustico suades stuprum.

[¶111] ASTAPHIUM:
Keep close your anger, I meant.
STRATILAX:
As thee’st begun with me, so I’d e’en lay a wager there’s not another like thee.
ASTAPHIUM: (half to herself.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Eiram dixi: ut decepisti! dempsisti unam litteram.

[¶112] Really this fellow’s very churlish.
STRATILAX:
Woman, dost thee go on abusing me?

> Latin: nimis quidem hic truculentust.
Trvcvlentvs:
Pergin male loqui, mulier, mihi?

[¶113] ASTAPHIUM:
Why, what did I say to you?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid tibi ego male dicó?

[¶114] STRATILAX:
Why, because thee dost call me churlish. Therefore now, if thee doesn’t be off this instant, and tell me quickly what thee want’st, adzookers, woman, I’ll be, here this very instant, trampling thee beneath my feet like a sow her piglings.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Quia enim me truncum lentum nominas.
nunc adeo, nisi abis actutum aut dicis quid quaeras cito,
iam hercle ego hic te, mulier, quasi sus catulos pedibus proteram.

[¶115] ASTAPHIUM:
This is indeed right country,
and no mistake;’tis an abominable and truly a monkey race.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Rus merum hoc quidemst.

[¶116] STRATILAX: (holding up his fist.)
Dost thee throw the country in my teeth, when thee hast found a man who’s ashamed of what’s foul?

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Pudendumst vero clurinum pecus.

[¶117] Hast thee come hither to tempt me with thy decked out bones? Was it for that, shameless slut, thee dyed thy mantle of its smoke-dried colour, or art thee so fine because that thee’s been a stealing?
Come thee towards me then.

> Latin: advenisti huc te ostentatum, cum exornatis ossibus,
quia tibi suaso infecisti propudiosa pallulam?
[an eo bella es, quia accepisti ármillas aeneas?]

[¶118] ASTAPHIUM:
Now you charm me.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Nunc places, cum mi inclementer dicis.

[¶119] STRATILAX:
How much I wish I could charm thee.
ASTAPHIUM:
You tell a lie.
STRATILAX:
Tell me—
ASTAPHIUM:
What?
STRATILAX:
What I ask thee. Dost thee wish to be taken for a bondswoman, who dost carry on thee those rings?
(Pointing to her fingers.)

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Quid hoc quod te rogo?
mancupion qui accipias, gestas tecum ahenos anulos?

[¶120] ASTAPHIUM:
They give them to those who are worthy.
STRATILAX:
These are the spoils of Laverna which thee dost possess.
(Lays hold of her.)

> Latin: pignus da ni ligneae haec sunt quas habes Victorias.

[¶121] ASTAPHIUM:
Don’t be touching me.
(Moving away.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ne attigas me.

[¶122] STRATILAX:
I, touch thee? So help me my weeding-hoe, I’d rather i’ the country for me to be harnessed like an ox with crumpled horns, and with it spend the livelong night upon the straw, than that a hundred nights with thee, with a dinner apiece, were given me for nothing!

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Egon te tangam? íta me amabit sarculum,
ut ego me ruri amplexari mavelim patulam bovem
cumque ea noctem in stramentis pernoctare perpetem,
quam tuas centum cenatas noctes mihi dono dari.
rus tu mi opprobras? ut nancta es hominem quem pudeat probri!

[¶123] But what business, woman, hast thee at our house? Why dost thee come running this way as often as we come to town?

> Latin: sed quid ápud nostras negoti, mulier, est aedis tibi?
quid tu huc occursas, in urbem quotienscumque advenimus?

[¶124] ASTAPHIUM:
I want to meet with your women.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Mulieres volo convenire vostras.

[¶125] STRATILAX:
What women art thee talking to me about, when there’s not even a single woman-fly within the house?

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Quas tu mulieres
mihi narras, ubi musca nulla feminast in aedibus?

[¶126] ASTAPHIUM:
What, does no woman live here?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Nullan istic mulier habitat?

[¶127] STRATILAX:
They’ve gone into the country, I say. Be off.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Rus, inquam, abierunt. abi.

[¶128] ASTAPHIUM:
Why are you bawling out, you lunatic?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid clamas, insane?

[¶129] STRATILAX:
If thee doesn’t make haste to get away from this with prodigious speed, I’ll forthwith be separating even from thy brains those falsified, daintily arranged, corkscrew curls of thine, with all their grease as well.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Abire hinc ni properas grandi gradu,
iam hercle ego istós fictos compositos crispos cincinnos tuos
unguentatos usque ex cerebro exvellam.

[¶130] ASTAPHIUM:
For what reason, pray?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quanam gratia?

[¶131] STRATILAX:
Why, because thee hast even presumed to approach our door anointed up with thine unguents, and because thee hast those cheeks so nicely, painted pink.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Quia ad foris nostras unguentis uncta es ausa accedere
quiaque istas buccas tam belle purpurissatas habes.

[¶132] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ troth, it was by reason of your clamour that I coloured in my alarm.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Erubui mecastor misera propter clamorem tuom.

[¶133] STRATILAX:
And is it so? Thee coloured? As though, hussy, thee really hadst left to thy skin the power of receiving any colour. Redden up thy cheeks, thee hast given all thy skin its colour with chalk.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Itane? erubuisti? quasi vero corpori reliqueris
tuo potestatem coloris ulli capiendi, mala.
buccas rubrica, créta omne corpus intinxti tibi.

[¶134] Ye are scoundrelly jades.
What’s the reason, abominable hussies, that this way …?

> Latin: pessumae estis.
Astaphivm:
Quíd est quod vobis pessumae haec male fecerint?

[¶135] I know more than thee think’st I know.
ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, what’s this that you know?

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Scio ego plus quam tu arbitrare scire me.
Astaphivm:
Quid id obsecrost
quod scias?

[¶136] STRATILAX:
How Strabax, my master’s son, is ruining himself at your house; how you are all enticing him to fraud and present-making.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Erilis noster filius apud vos Strabax
ut pereat, ut eum inliciatis in malam fraudem et probrum.

[¶137] ASTAPHIUM:
If you appeared in your senses, I’d tell you. You’re uttering abuse only;

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Sanus si videare, dicam: dicis contumeliam.

[¶138] not a person is in the habit of being ruined here at our house; they waste their property; when they’ve wasted their property, they may go bare thence, if they choose. I don’t know this young man of yours.
STRATILAX:
Indeed so.
ASTAPHIUM:
In sober truth.

> Latin: nemo homo hic solet perire apud nos: res perdunt suas;
ubi res perdidere, abire hinc, si volunt, salvis licet.
ego istunc non novi adulescentem vostrum.
Trvcvlentvs:
Veron serio?

[¶139] STRATILAX:
Aye, but that garden wall that’s in our garden says so, which is becoming every night less by a brick, over which he travels to your house on the road to destruction.

> Latin: quid maceria illa ait, in horto quae est, quae in noctes singulas
latere fit minor, qua ístoc ad vos damni permensust viam?

[¶140] ASTAPHIUM:
The wall’s an old one; it isn’t wonderful if the bricks, being old, do tumble down.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Nil mirum (vetus est maceria) lateres si veteres ruont.

[¶141] STRATILAX:
And says thee, hussy, that old bricks do tumble down? By my fakes, may never any mortal man henceforth trust me upon the two grand points, if I don’t inform of these goings on of yours to my elder master.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Ain tu vero veteres lateres ruere? numquam edepol mihi
quisquam homo mortalis posthac duarum rerum creduit,
ní ego vostra ero maiori facta denarravero.

[¶142] ASTAPHIUM:
Is he a savage as well?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Estne item violentus ut tu?

[¶143] STRATILAX:
Why, he didn’t get his money by enriching harlots, but by thriftiness,
and living hard; which now, however, is being carried off to you, abominable jades. (Takes her by the shoulders and shakes her.) There’s for thee, six-clawed hussy; a wretched life to both of ye. Am I to keep mum about these matters? But, lookye now, I’ll be off to the Forum at once and tell these goings on to the old gentleman, that he mayn’t somehow be cherishing within this matting a whole swarm of misfortunes.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Non enim ille meretriculis
munerandis rem coegit, verum parsimonia
duritiaque: quae nunc ad vos clam exportantur, pessumae;
ea vos estis exunguimini ebibitis. egone haec mussitem?
iam quidem hercle ibo ad forum atque haec facta narrabo seni,
neque istuc insegesti tergo coget examen mali.—

[¶144] ASTAPHIUM: (to herself.)
Upon my faith, if this fellow were living on mustard, I don’t think he could possibly be as snappish. But, i’ troth, how much a well-wisher to his master he is. Still, although he is a savage, I trust that he can be changed by coaxing, allurements, and other arts of the courtesan. I’ve seen a horse from unruly become tamed, and other brutes as well.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Si ecastor hic homo sinapi victitet, non censeam
tam esse tristem posse. at pol ero benevolens visust suo.
verum ego illúm, quamquam violentust, spero inmutari pote
blandimentis, oramentis, ceteris meretriciis;
vidi equom ex indomito domitum fieri atque alias beluas.

[¶145] Now I’ll go back to see my mistress. But see, my plague’s coming out. (The door of PHRONESIUM’S house is opened.) He’s coming out with a sad air; he hasn’t even yet had a meeting with Phronesium.
(Enter DINARCHUS, from PHRONESIUM’S house.)

> Latin: nunc ad eram revidebo. ⟨sed⟩ eccum ódium progreditur meum.
tristis exit. haud convenit etiam hic dum Phronesium.

[¶146] DINARCHUS:
I do believe that the fishes, that are always bathing as long as they live, do not take so long in bathing as this Phronesium does in bathing. If women could be loved on as long as they take in bathing,
all lovers would be becoming bath-keepers.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Piscis ego credo, qui usque dum vivont lavant,
minus diú lavare quam haec lavat Phronesium.
si proinde amentur, mulieres diu quam lavant,
omnes amantes balneatores sient.

[¶147] ASTAPHIUM:
Can’t you endure waiting for a short time even?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Non quis parumper durare opperirier?

[¶148] DINARCHUS:
Why,’pon my faith, I’m wretchedly tired with waiting already.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quin hercle lassus iam sum durando miser:

[¶149] ASTAPHIUM:
I, as well, shall be obliged to go bathe from weariness
DINARCHUS:
But, i’ faith, Astaphium, prithee do go in-doors and tell her
that I’m here. Do go at once, and persuade her that she has bathed long enough by this.

> Latin: mihi quoque prae lassitudine opus est ⟨ut⟩ lavem.
sed obsecro hercle, Astaphium, ⟨i⟩ intro ac nuntia
me adesse, ut properet suade, iam ut satis laverit.

[¶150] ASTAPHIUM:
Very well.
(Going.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Licet.

[¶151] DINARCHUS:
And do you hear as well?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Audin etiam?

[¶152] ASTAPHIUM:
What do you want?
(Comes back.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid vis?

[¶153] DINARCHUS:
May the Gods confound me for calling you back. I had nothing to say to you, only do be off.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Di me perduint,
qui te revocavi. non tibi dicebam “i” modo?

[¶154] ASTAPHIUM:
Why did you call me back then, you worthless and good-for-nothing fellow? A delay to me which has produced fully a mile’s delay to you.
(Goes into the house of PHRONESIUM.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quidnam revocabas? improbu's improbus es nihilique homo:
tute tibi mille passum peperisti moram.—

[¶155] DINARCHUS: (to himself.)
But yet why was she standing here so long before the house? Some one, I don’t know who, she certainly was waiting for; the Captain, I suppose. That’s it; see now, how, just like vultures, a whole three days beforehand they foresee on what day they are to have a feast. They’re all agape for him; on him are all their minds fixed.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Sed quid haec hic autem tam diu ante aedis stetit?
nescio quem praestolata est; credo, militem.
illum student iam; quasi volturii triduo
prius praédivinant, quo die esuri sient:
illum inhiant omnes, illi est animus omnibus;

[¶156] No one will be giving any more attention to myself, when he comes, than if I had been dead two hundred years ago. How delightful a thing it is to keep one’s money! Ah wretched me! after it’s done I’m punished, who lost what I once had.

> Latin: me nemo magis respiciet, ubi is [est] huc venerit,
quasi abhinc ducentos annos fuerim mortuos.
ut rem servare suave est! vae misero mihi,
post factum flector, qui antepartum perdidi.

## 2. Lines 344–683

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/2/#p-N

[¶0] But now, if any great and splendid fortune should chance to fall to my lot, now, after I know it, what sweets and what bitters come of money, by my troth, I’d so keep it, I’d live in a manner so sparing, that—in a few days I’d make there to be none at all. I’d then confute those who now censure me.

> Latin: verum nunc si qua mi obtigerit hereditas
magna atque luculenta, nunc postquam scio
dulce atque amarum quid sit ex pecunia,
ita ego íllam edepol servem itaque parce victitem,
ut—nulla faxim cis dies paucos siet;
ego istós, qui nunc me culpant, confutaverim.

[¶1] But I perceive that this tide-like door is opening (the door of PHRONESIUM’S house is opened), which sucks up whatever comes within its bolts.
(Enter PHRONESIUM, from her house.)

> Latin: sed aestuosas sentio aperiri fores,
quae obsorbent quidquid venit intra pessulos.

[¶2] PHRONESIUM:
Please now, is my door apt to bite, that you are afraid to come in, my love?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Num tibi nam, amabo, ianua est mordax mea,
quo intro ire metuas, mea voluptas?

[¶3] DINARCHUS: (aside.)
Behold the spring! How all blooming it is! how fragrantly does it smell! how brightly does it shine.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ver vide,
ut tota floret, ut olet, ut nitide nitet.

[¶4] PHRONESIUM:
Why so ill-mannered, as not, on your arrival from Lemnos, to give a kiss to your mistress, my Dinarchus?
DINARCHUS: (aside.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quid tam inficetu's inficetus es, Lemno adveniens qui tuae
non des amicae, Diniarche, savium?

[¶5] O dear, by my troth, I’m being punished now, and most terribly—
PHRONESIUM:
Why do you turn yourself away?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vah, vapulo hercle ego nunc, atque adeo male.
Phronesivm:
Quo te avortisti?

[¶6] DINARCHUS:
My greetings to you, Phronesium.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Salva sis, Phronesium.

[¶7] PHRONESIUM:
Greetings to you as well. Will you dine here to-day, as you’ve arrived in safety?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Salve. hicine hodie cenas, salvos cum advenis?

[¶8] DINARCHUS:
I’m engaged.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Promisi.

[¶9] PHRONESIUM:
Where will you dine then?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vbi cenabis?

[¶10] DINARCHUS:
Wherever you request me; here.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vbi tu iusseris.

[¶11] PHRONESIUM:
You’ll give me pleasure by doing so.
(They take their places at a collation spread before the house.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Hic me lubente facies.

[¶12] DINARCHUS:
I’ troth, myself still more. You’ll give me your company to-day, I suppose, my Phronesium?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Edepol me magis.
nempe tú eris hodie mecum, mea Phronesium?

[¶13] PHRONESIUM:
If it could possibly be done, I would.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Velim, si fieri possit.

[¶14] DINARCHUS:
Give me my shoes then—make haste, remove the table.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Cedo soleas mihi,
properate, auferte mensam.

[¶15] PHRONESIUM:
Are you in your senses, pray?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Amabo, sanun es?

[¶16] DINARCHUS:
By heavens, I cannot drink now; so sick at heart am I.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Non edepol bibere possum iam, ita animo malest.

[¶17] PHRONESIUM:
Stay; something shall be done. Don’t go.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Mane, aliquid fiet, né abi.

[¶18] DINARCHUS:
Ah, you’ve refreshed me with cold water! My senses have now returned. Take off my shoes; give me something to drink.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ah, aspersisti aquam.
iam rediit animus. deme soleas, cedo bibam.

[¶19] PHRONESIUM:
By my faith, you are just the same that you used to be. But tell me, have you sped successfully?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Idem es mecastor qui soles. sed dic mihi,
benene ambulatumst?

[¶20] DINARCHUS:
I’ troth, successfully enough, indeed, hither to you, inasmuch as I enjoy the opportunity of seeing you.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Huc quidem hercle ad te bene,
quia tui videndi copia est.

[¶21] PHRONESIUM:
Embrace me then.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Complectere.

[¶22] DINARCHUS:
With pleasure. (He embraces her.) Oh, this is honey sweeter than sweet honey. In this, Jove, my fortune does exceed thine own!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Lubens. heia, hoc est melle dulci dulcius.
hoc tuis fortunis, Iuppiter, praestant meae.

[¶23] PHRONESIUM:
Won’t you give me a kiss?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Dan savium?

[¶24] DINARCHUS:
Aye, ten even.
(Kisses her.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Immo vel decem.

[¶25] PHRONESIUM:
You are not niggardly in that. You promise more than I ask of you.
(Turns away her head.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Em istoc pauper es:
⟨semper⟩ plus pollicere quam ego abs te postulo.

[¶26] DINARCHUS:
I only wish that from the first I had been as sparing of my property, as you are now thrifty of your kisses.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vtinam a principio reí item parsisses meae
ut nunc reparcis saviis.

[¶27] PHRONESIUM:
If I could possibly cause you any saving, i’ troth, I could wish it done.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Si quid tibi
compendi facere possim, factum edepol velim.

[¶28] DINARCHUS:
Have you bathed then?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Iam lauta es?

[¶29] PHRONESIUM:
I’ troth, indeed I have then, to my own satisfaction and that of my eyes. Do I seem to be loathsome to you?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Iam pol mihi quidem atque oculis meis.
num tibi sordere videor?

[¶30] DINARCHUS:
I’ faith, not to myself indeed;

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Non pol mihi quidem;

[¶31] but I remember that there was once a time when between ourselves we were loathsome, the one to the other. But what doing of yours is this I’ve heard upon my arrival? What new matter have you been scheming here in my absence?

> Latin: verum tempestas, memini, quondam ⟨etiam⟩ fuit,
cum inter nos sordebamus alter de altero.
sed quid ego facinus audivi adveniens tuom,
quod tu hic me absente novi negoti gesseris?

[¶32] PHRONESIUM:
Why, what is it?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quid id est?

[¶33] DINARCHUS:
In the first place, that you’ve been blessed with children,
and that you’ve safely got over it, I’m delighted.
PHRONESIUM: (to some ATTENDANTS near the door.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Primumdum, cum tu es aucta liberis
cumque bene provenisti salva, gaudeo.

[¶34] Go you away from there into the house, and shut the door. (They go in, and shut the door.) You now alone are left to be present at my communication; to you I’ve ever entrusted my designs. For my own part, I’ve neither had any child nor have I been pregnant;

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Concedite hinc vos intro atque operite ostium.
tu nunc superstes solus sermoni meo es.
tibi mea consilia summa semper credidi.
equidem neque peperi puerum neque praegnas fui;

[¶35] but I’ve pretended that I was pregnant; I wasn’t though.

> Latin: verum adsimulavi me esse praegnatem: haud nego.

[¶36] DINARCHUS:
For what reason, O my life?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quem propter, o mea vita?

[¶37] PHRONESIUM:
On account of a Babylonian Captain, who kept me as though his wife for a year, while he was here.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Propter militem
Babyloniensem, qui quasi uxorem sibi
me habebat anno, dum hic fuit.

[¶38] DINARCHUS:
That I knew. But what means this? For what purpose was your design in pretending this?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ego senseram.
sed quid istuc? cui rei te adsimulare retulit?

[¶39] PHRONESIUM:
That there might be a certain bond and tie for him to be returning to me again. Now he has lately sent me a letter hither, that he’ll make trial how much I value him. If I should raise and bring up the child which I should bear,
that then I should have all his property.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vt esset aliquis laqueus et redimiculum,
reversionem ut ad me faceret denuo.
nunc huc remisit nuper ad me epistulam,
sese experturum quanti sese penderem:
si quod peperissem id ⟨non⟩ necarem ac tollerem,
bona sua med habiturum omnia [esse].

[¶40] DINARCHUS:
I listen with pleasure. In fine, what is it you are contriving?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ausculto lubens.
quid denique agitis?

[¶41] PHRONESIUM:
My mother ordered the servant-maids, since now the tenth month is arriving close at hand, each to go in some different direction, to seek out and bespeak a boy or a girl, to be passed off as my own.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Mater ancillas iubet,
quoniam iam decimus mensis adventat prope,
aliam aliorsum ire, praemandare et quaerere
puerum aut puellam, qui supponatur mihi.

[¶42] Why need I make many words? You know Syra, the female hair-dresser, who now lives hard by our house?
DINARCHUS:
I know her.

> Latin: quid multa verba faciam? tonstricem Suram
novisti nostram, quae mercedem sese habet?†
Diniarchvs:
Novi.

[¶43] PHRONESIUM:
She, with the utmost care, went about among the families, and secretly found out a child, and brought it to me. She said it was given to her.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Haec ut opera circumit, per familias,
puerum vestigat; clanculum ad me detulit,
datum sibi esse dixit.

[¶44] DINARCHUS:
O shocking traffic!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
O mercis malae.

[¶45] She then hasn’t borne this child who at first did bear it, but you who come afterwards.
PHRONESIUM:
You have the whole matter in its order. Now, as the Captain has sent a message before to me, he’ll be here no long time hence.

> Latin: eum núnc non illa peperit, quae peperit prior,
sed tu posterior.
Phronesivm:
Ordine omnem rem tenes.
nunc ut praemisit nuntium miles mihi,
non multo post hic aderit.

[¶46] DINARCHUS:
Now, in the mean time, you are treating yourself here as though one who had just lain in?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Nunc tu te interim
quasi pro puerpera hic procuras?

[¶47] PHRONESIUM:
Why not,
when, without trouble, the matter can be nicely managed? It’s proper that every one should be alive at his own trade.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quippini,
ubi sine labore res geri pulcre potest?
ad suom quemque aequom est quaestum ésse callidum.

[¶48] DINARCHUS:
What’s to become of me when the Captain comes? Forsaken, can I live without you?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid me futurum est, quando miles venerit?
relictusne abs te vivam?

[¶49] PHRONESIUM:
When I’ve got from him that which I want, I shall easily find a way how
to create discord and a separation between us; after that, my delight, I shall be always at your side.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vbi illud quod volo
habebo ab illo, facile inveniam quo modo
divortium et discordiam inter nos parem:
post id ego [totum] tecum, mea voluptas, usque ero
assiduo.

[¶50] DINARCHUS:
Aye, faith, but I’d rather it were at my couch.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Immo hercle vero accubuo mavelim.

[¶51] PHRONESIUM:
Moreover, I wish to sacrifice to-day to the Deities for the child, on this the fifth day, as is proper to be done.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
[quin] Dis hodie sacruficare pro puero volo,
quinto die quod fieri oportet.

[¶52] DINARCHUS:
I think you ought.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Censeo.

[¶53] PHRONESIUM:
Can’t you venture to give me some trifling present?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Non audes aliquid mihi dare munusculum?

[¶54] DINARCHUS:
Upon my faith, my delight, I seem to be making a gain for myself when you ask anything of me.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Lucrum hercle videor facere mi, voluptas mea,
ubi quippiam me poscis.

[¶55] PHRONESIUM: (aside.)
And I, when I’ve got it.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
At ego, ubi abstuli.

[¶56] DINARCHUS:
I’ll take care it shall be here just now. I’ll send my servant hither.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Iam faxo hic aderit. servolum huc mittam meum.

[¶57] PHRONESIUM:
Do so.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Sic facito.

[¶58] DINARCHUS:
But whatever it shall be, do take it in good part.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quidquid attulerit, boni consulas.

[¶59] PHRONESIUM:
I troth, I’m sure that you’ll give all attention to your present, of which I shan’t be ashamed so long as you send it to me.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Ecastor munus te curaturum scio,
ut cuius me nón paeniteat mittatur mihi.

[¶60] DINARCHUS:
Do you wish anything else of me?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Num quippiam aliud me vis?

[¶61] PHRONESIUM:
That, when you have leisure, you’ll come again to see me.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vt quando otium
tibi sit ad me revisas, ⟨et⟩ valeas.—

[¶62] DINARCHUS:
Fare you well.
PHRONESIUM:
Farewell.
(Goes into her house.)
DINARCHUS: (to himself.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vale.

[¶63] O immortal Gods!’twere the part not of a woman in love,
but of a partner of kindred feelings and confiding, to do what she just now has done for me, in disclosing to me the palming of the child upon the Captain,—a thing that a sister entrusts not to her own born sister. She discloses herself now to me from her very soul,
that she will never prove faithless to me so long as she exists. Ought I not to love her? Ought I not to wish her well? I’ll rather not love myself, than that love should be wanting for her. Shall I not send her a present? This instant, then, I’ll order five minae to be brought to her from my house,
besides catering to the amount of a mina at least. Much rather shall kindness be shown to her who wishes kindly to me, than to myself, who do every mischief to myself.
(Exit.) (Enter PHRONESIUM, from her house.)
PHRONESIUM: (speaking at the door to the SERVANTS within.)
Give the breast to that child. (To herself, coming forward.) How wretchedly
and anxiously are mothers distressed in mind. I’ faith,’twas craftily contrived; and when I revolve this matter in my mind, we are accounted to be much less artful than we naturally are in disposition. I’m now speaking of what, but lately, for the first time, I’ve been taught at home;
how great is my anxiety of mind, what pangs I do feel in my heart, lest through the death of the child the plot should fail. Because I’m styled its mother, for that reason am I the more anxious for its life, who have ventured thus secretly to attempt a stratagem so great. In my avarice, for the sake of gain, have I entered on this disgraceful scheme;
the pangs of others have I falsely shammed for myself. You must attempt nothing by craftiness, unless you would carry it out with cunning and with care. (To the AUDIENCE.) You yourselves now see in what garb I go; I’m now pretending that I’m an invalid from having lain in.

> Latin: pro di immortales, non amantis mulieris,
sed sociae únanimantis, fidentis fuit
officium facere quod modo haec fecit mihi,
suppositionem pueri quae mihi credidit,
germanae quod sorori non credit soror.
ostendit sese iam mihi medullitus:
scio mi ínfidelem numquam, dum vivat, fore.
egone illam ut non amem? egone illi ut non bene velim?
me potius non amabo quam huic desit amor.
ego istí non munus mittam? iam † modo ex hoc loco
iubebo ad istam quinque deferri minas,
praeterea obsonari ⟨una⟩ dumtaxat mina.
multo illi potius bene erit quae bene volt mihi,
quam mihi, qui mihimet omnia facio mala.—
Phronesivm:
Puero ísti date mammam. út miserae
matrés sollicitaeque éx animo sumus crúciamurque!
edepól commentum mále, cumque eam rem in córde agito,
nimió—minus perhibemúr malae quam sumus íngenio.
egó prima dé me, domó docta, díco.
quanta ést cura in animo, quantum corde capio
dolorem—dolus ne occidat morte pueri:
mater dicta quod sum, eo magis studeo vitae;
quae ausa hunc sum, tantundem dolum ⟨nunc⟩ adgrediar.
lucri causa avara probrum sum exsecuta,
alienos dolores mihi supposivi;
⟨sed⟩ nullam rem oportet dolose adgrediri,
nisi astu totam accurateque exsequare.
vosmet iam videtis, ut ornata incedo:
puerperio ego nunc med esse aegram adsimulo.

[¶64] A thing that a woman attempts to do in fraud, unless she is perfect in carrying it out, that same is as bad as disease to her, that same is as bad as old age to her, that to her, wretched creature, is wretchedness: if she begins to do what’s right, soon does weariness of it overtake her. How very few are tired who have commenced to do what’s wrong; how very few carry it out, if they have commenced to do anything aright.

> Latin: mále quod mulier fácere incepit, nísi ⟨id⟩ efficere pérpetrat,
id illi morbo, id illi seniost, ea illi miserae miseriast;
bene si facere incepit, eius rei nimis cito odium percipit.
nimis quam paucae sunt defessae, male quae facere occeperunt,
nimisque paucae efficiunt, si quid facere occeperunt bene:

[¶65] To a female it is a much less burden to do bad than good. In that I’m an artful one, through the agency of my mother and my own artful disposition am I artful, who have thus feigned to the Babylonian Captain that I am pregnant. I wish now the Captain may find this artful plot concocted well. He’ll be here no long time hence, I suppose; forewarned of that I’m now forearmed,
and I’m wearing this garb, as though I had just lain in in pregnancy. (Calls to the SERVANTS within.) Bring me hither some myrrh and fire for the altar, that I may pay adoration to my Lucina. (They bring it.) Place it here (pointing to an altar near the door), and go out of my sight. Ho there! Pithecium, help me to lay me down. Come hither; thus is it proper to help one who has just lain in. (A couch is brought in by ASTAPHIUM and two HANDMAIDS, and she lays herself down.) Take off my sandals; throw a coverlet here over me, Archylis.

> Latin: mulieri nimio male facere levius onus est quam bene.
ego quod mala sum, matris opera mala sum et meapte malitia,
quae me gravidam esse adsimulavi militi Babylonio:
eam nunc malitiam accuratam miles inveniat volo.
is hic haud multo post, credo, aderit; nunc prius praecaveo sciens
sumque ornata ita ut aegra videar, quasi puerperio cubem.
date mi huc stactam atque ignem in aram, ut venerem Lucinam meam.
hic apponite atque abite ab oculis. eho, Pithecium,
face ut accumbam, accede, adiuta. em sic decet puerperam.
soleas mihi deduce, pallium inice in me huc, Archilis.

[¶66] Astaphium, where are you? Bring me hither, holy herbs, frankincense, and sweetmeats. Bring water for my hands. (The SERVANTS go and fetch the things as ordered.) Now, i’ faith, I could wish that the Captain should come.
(The SERVANTS stand aside.) (Enter STRATOPHANES, at a distance, followed by a SERVANT and several FEMALE SLAVES.)
STRATOPHANES: (to the AUDIENCE.)
Don’t you be expecting, Spectators, that I should recount my combats; with my hands in battle I’m wont to recount them, and not in words. I know that many a soldier have told lies;

> Latin: ubi es, Astaphium? fer huc verbenam mi intus et bellaria.
date aquam manibus. nunc ecastor adveniat miles velim.
Stratophanes:
Ne expectetis, spectatores, meas pugnas dum praedicem:
manibus duella praedicare soleo, haud in sermonibus.
scio ego multos memoravisse milites mendacium:

[¶67] both the Homeric poetlings, and a thousand others besides them could be named, who have been both convicted and condemned for their sham battles. He’s not to be commended who trusts another any further than he sees. It pleases me not when those commend more who hear than those who see; of more value is one eye-witness than ten hearsays.

> Latin: et Homeronida et postilla mille memorari pote,
qui et convicti et condemnati falsis de pugnis sient.
non laudandust cui plus credit qui audit quam ⟨ille⟩ qui videt:
[non placet quem illi plus laudant qui audiunt, quam qui vident.]
pluris est oculatus testis unus quam auriti decem;

[¶68] Those who hear, speak of what they’ve heard; those who see, know beyond mistake. I like him not whom the town-gossips are praising, and the men of his maniple are mum about; nor yet those whose tongues at home make blunt the edge of our swords. The valiant are much more serviceable to the public than the eloquent and skilled. Valour easily finds for itself a fluent eloquence;
without valour, for my own part, I esteem an eloquent citizen as a hired mourner, who praises other people, but can’t do the same for herself. Now, after ten months, am I come to Athens of Attica to see my mistress, how she gets on, whom I left pregnant by my embrace.
PHRONESIUM: (raising herself on the couch, and speaking to ASTAPHIUM.)

> Latin: qui audiunt audita dicunt, qui vident plane sciunt.
non placet quem scurrae laudant, manipularis mussitant,
neque illi quorum lingua gladiorum aciem praestringit domi.
strenui nimio plus prosunt populo quam arguti et cati:
facile sibi facunditatem virtus argutam invenit,
sine virtute argutum civem mihi habeam pro praefica,
quae alios conlaudat, eapse sese vero non potest.
nunc ad amicam decimo mense post Athenas Atticas
viso, quam gravidam hic reliqui meo compressu, quid ea agat.

[¶69] See who’s talking.
ASTAPHIUM: (coming forward, and looking about.)
The Captain’s now close at hand, my mistress Phronesium:
Stratophanes is coming to you. (In a low voice.) Now is it requisite for you to pretend yourself an invalid.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vide quis loquitur tam propinque.
Astaphivm:
Miles, mea Phronesium,
tibi adest Stratophanes. nunc tibi opust, aegram ut te adsimules.

[¶70] PHRONESIUM: (in a low voice.)
Hold your tongue. What, the plague, de I want you for as an adviser in this matter? Is it possible to excel myself in craftiness?
STRATOPHANES: (to himself.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Tace.
cuí adhuc ego tam mala eram monetrix, me maleficio vinceres?

[¶71] Madam’s brought to bed, as I fancy.
ASTAPHIUM: (it a low voice.)
Would you like me to accost the gentleman?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Peperit mulier, ut ego opinor.
Astaphivm:
Vin adeam ad hominem?

[¶72] PHRONESIUM:
I wish you.
(ASTAPHIUM moves forward.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Volo.

[¶73] STRATOPHANES:
O delightful! Why, see, here’s Astaphium coming to meet me.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Euge, Astaphium eccam it mi advorsum.

[¶74] ASTAPHIUM: (affecting surprise.)
By all the powers! welcome to you, Stratophanes, that you’re safe arrived—

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Salve ecastor, Stratophanes.
[venire] salvom ⟨te⟩—

[¶75] STRATOPHANES:
I know it all. But, prithee, has Phronesium been brought to bed?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Scio. sed peperitne, ópsecro, Phronesium?

[¶76] ASTAPHIUM:
She has been delivered of a very fine boy.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Peperit puerum nimium lepidum.

[¶77] STRATOPHANES:
Is it like me at all?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Ehem, ecquid mei similest?

[¶78] ASTAPHIUM:
Do you ask the question? Why, the moment it was born, it asked for a sabre and shield for itself.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Rogas?
quin ubí natust machaeram et clupeum poscebat sibi?

[¶79] STRATOPHANES:
It’s my own; I know it at once from the proofs.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Meus est, scio iam de argumentis.

[¶80] ASTAPHIUM:
Indeed it is extremely like you.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Nimium tuí similest.

[¶81] STRATOPHANES:
Ye Gods above! Is it of full growth already? Has it already chosen some army which it intends to plunder?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Papae,
iam magnust? iamne iit ad legionem? ecquae spolia rettulit?

[¶82] ASTAPHIUM:
Why really, it was only born five days ago.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Heia, nudius quintus natus ille quidem est.

[¶83] STRATOPHANES:
What then, after it was born? After so many days, i’ faith, something really ought by this time to have been done. What business had it to leave the womb before it could go forth to battle?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quid postea?
inter tot dies quidem hercle iam aliquid actum oportuit.
quid illi ex utero exitiost prius quam poterat ire in proelium?

[¶84] ASTAPHIUM:
Follow me, and wish her joy, and congratulate her.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Consequere atque illam saluta et gratulare illi.

[¶85] STRATOPHANES:
I follow.
(They move to the other side of the stage.)
PHRONESIUM: (in a faint voice.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Sequor.

[¶86] Prithee, where is she who has left me here and forsaken me?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vbi illa, óbsecro, est quae me hic reliquit, eapse abiit? ubist?

[¶87] ASTAPHIUM:
I’m here; I’m bringing you Stratophanes, so much longed for by you.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Adsum, adduco tibi exoptatum Stratophanem.

[¶88] PHRONESIUM:
Prithee, where is he?
STRATOPHANES: (going close to the couch.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vbi is est, obsecro?

[¶89] Mars, on his arrival from abroad, salutes Neriene his spouse. Since you’ve well got over it, and since you’ve been blest with offspring, I congratulate you in that you have given birth to a great glory to me and to yourself.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Mars peregre adveniens salutat Nerienem uxorem suam.
quom tu recte provenisti quomque es aucta liberis,
gratulor, quom mihi tibique magnum peperisti decus.

[¶90] PHRONESIUM:
Welcome to you, you who have almost deprived me of life and light;
and who have, for your own gratification, centred in my body the cause of great anguish, with the pangs of which I’m even now dreadfully afflicted.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Salve, qui me interfecisti paene vita et lumine
quique mihi magni doloris per voluptatem tuam
condidisti in corpus, quo nunc etiam morbo misera sum.

[¶91] STRATOPHANES:
Well, well; not to your misfortune, my love, do these pains befall you. You’ve brought forth a son who’ll be filling your house with plunder.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Heia, haud ab re, mea voluptas, tibi istic obvenit labos:
filium peperisti, qui aedis spoliis opplebit tuas.

[¶92] PHRONESIUM:
By the powers, there’s very much greater need to have our granaries well filled with wheat; lest, before he takes the plunder, hunger should be putting an end to us here.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Multo ecastor magis oppletis tritici ópust granariis,
ne, ille prius quam spolia capiat, hic nos extinxit fames.

[¶93] STRATOPHANES:
Be of good heart.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Habe bonum animum.

[¶94] PHRONESIUM:
Do, please, take a kiss from me here. I cannot lift up my head; such pain I’ve felt, and in such pain I now am; and I cannot as yet, of my own strength, walk upon my feet.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Savium pete hinc sis. ah, nequeo caput
tollere, ita dolet itaque ego † medulo, neque etiam queo
pedibus mea sponte ambulare.

[¶95] STRATOPHANES: (stooping down, and kissing her.)
If, right from the middle of the sea, you were to order me to take a kiss from you, I would not hesitate to fetch it, my sweet. You’ve experienced it already so to be; and now shall you experience it, my Phronesium,
that I do dote upon you. (Pointing to a distance behind him.) See there, I’ve brought you two female slaves from Syria; I present you with them. (To a SERVANT behind him.) Do you bring those women this way. Now, these were both of them queens at their own homes; but with my own hand I laid waste their country, I present you with them.
(Handing them forward to her.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Si hercle me ex medio mari
savium petere tuom iubeas, petere hau pigeat [me], mel meum.
id ita esse experta es: nunc experiere, mea Phronesium,
me te amare. adduxi ancillas tibi eccas ex Suria duas,
is te dono. adduce hoc tu istas. sed istae reginae domi
suae fuerunt ambae, earum patriam ego excidi manu.
his te dono.

[¶96] PHRONESIUM:
Are you dissatisfied with the number of female slaves I have already, that you must be still making additions to the number, to be devouring food for me?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Paenitetne te quot ancillas alam,
quin examen super adducas, quae mihi comedint cibum?

[¶97] STRATOPHANES:
I’ troth, if this indeed isn’t acceptable to you, you boy (beckoning to the SERVANT), do you give me that bag. See here, my love, I’ve brought this mantle from Panchaea for you. Take it for yourself. (He presents it to her.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Hoc quidem herclést ingratum donum. cedo tu mi istam purpuram.
mea voluptas, attuli eccam pallulam ex Phrygia tibi.
tene tibi.

[¶98] PHRONESIUM:
What, is so little as this to be given me in return for pain so great?
STRATOPHANES: (aside.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Hocine mi ob labores tantos tantillum dari?

[¶99] I’ faith, to my misfortune, I’m undone! My son’s already costing me his weight in gold. (To PHRONESIUM.) Do you still set such little value on me? I’ve brought you a purple garment from Sarra, and two pretty ones from Pontus. (Takes the garments from the SERVANT, and presents them.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Perii hercle ⟨ego⟩ miser. iam ⟨mi⟩ auro contra constat filius:
†etiam num mali pendit addit purpuram. ex Arabia tibi
attuli tus, Ponto amomum. tene tibi, voluptas mea.

[¶100] Take this for yourself, my love. (To the SERVANT.) Take those Syrian women hence out of my sight. (The SERVANT takes them into the house.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Accipe hoc, ⟨Astaphium,⟩ abduce hasce hinc e conspectu Suras.

[¶101] Do you love me at all?
PHRONESIUM:
Not at all, i’ faith; nor do you deserve it.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Ecquid amas me?
Phronesivm:
Nihil ecastor, neque meres.

[¶102] STRATOPHANES: (aside.)
What, is nothing enough for her? Really, to myself she hasn’t even said one word. I do believe that these presents would sell for more than twenty minae, which I have given her.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Nilne huic sat est?
ne bonum verbum quidem unum dixit. viginti minis
venire illaec posse credo dona quae ei dono dedi.

[¶103] Now she’s desperately enraged with me I perceive and understand it; but I’ll address her still. (To PHRONESIUM.) What say you then? Do you wish me, my love, to go to dinner where I was invited, and after that to return hither to your house to sleep? Why are you silent? (Aside.) I’ troth, beyond a doubt, I’m undone. But what fine affair is this?

> Latin: vehementer nunc mi est irata, sentio atque intellego;
verum abibo. quid ais? nunc tu num nevis mé, voluptas mea,
quo vocatus sum ire ad cenam? mox huc cubitum venero.
quid taces? planissume edepol perii. sed quid illuc novi est?

[¶104] Who’s this fellow that’s leading such a long train? I’m resolved to watch whither they are taking it. It’s being brought to her, I do believe; but I’ll soon know more.
(He stands at a distance.) (Enter GETA, at a distance, followed by SLAVES with presents from DINARCHUS.)

> Latin: quis ⟨hic⟩ homost, qui ducit pompam tantam? certumst quo ferant
observare. huic credo fertur. verum iam scibo magis.

[¶105] GETA:
Get on, get on this way together with you, mules laden with money only to be squandered, you emptyers out of the house, you carriers off of property by waggon-loads! (To the AUDIENCE.) And can’t he who is in love do without being good for nought, and cleaning himself out by his disgraceful practices? But how I know this, don’t any one be asking that of me;
we’ve a lover at home, who’s engaged in disgraceful pursuits; who esteems property just as dung: he’s in dread of the public officers; most cleanly in his ways is he. He wishes his house to be cleaned out; whatever he has at home, it’s swept completely “dehors.” Since he himself is sending his own self to ruin, for my part, i’ faith, I’ll help him by stealth,
and not through my assistance, indeed, shall he be ruined e’en a bit the less speedily than he may. For now from these provisions, from the one mina I’ve just now abstracted five didrachms; I’ve deducted for myself the Herculean share. But this is just like as though a person should turn off a stream for himself from a river; if it is not turned off into a channel, still all that water would go into the sea.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Ite íte hac simúl, mulierí damnigéruli,
forás egerónes, bonórum exagógae.
satin, sí quis amat, nequit quín nihili sit atque ímprobis se artibus éxpoliat?
nam hóc qui sciám, ne quis íd quaerat éx me,
domist qui facit improba facta amator,
qui bona sua pro stercore habet, foras iubet ferri, metuit
⟨ne⟩ apud nos ⟨non⟩ mundissimum sit;
puras sibi esse volt aedis: domi quidquid habet, eicitur ἔξω.
quándoquidem ipsus pérditum se it, sécreto hercle equidem éum adiutabo,
néque mea quidem ópera umquam hilo mínus propere quam póte peribit.
nám iam de hoc obsónio de mína deminui uná modo
quínque nummos: míhi detraxi pártem Herculáneam.
nam hoc adsimile est quasi de fluvio quí aquam derivat sibi:
nisi derivetur, tamen omnis ea aqua ábeat in mare;

[¶106] For this is going into the sea, and is being utterly wasted to no good purpose whatever. When I see these things going on, I pilfer, I purloin, from plunder I plunder take. I take a harlot to be just like what the sea is; what you give her she swallows down, and yet never overflows.

> Latin: nam hoc in mare abit misereque perit sine bona omni gratia.
haec cúm video fierí, suffuror súppilo,
de praéda praedam cápio.
meretrícem ego item esse reór, mare ut est:
quod dés devorát ⟨nec dat⟩ís umquam abúndat.

[¶107] But this at least the sea does preserve; what’s in it is seen. Give her as much as ever you please, it’s never seen either by the giver or the acceptor. For instance, this harlot by her blandishments has reduced my poor master to poverty; has robbed him of fortune, life, honor, and friends.

> Latin: hoc sáltem: ⟨rem⟩ sérvat nec úlli ubi sit appáret:
dés quantumvis, nusquam apparet, neque datori neque acceptrici.
velut haéc meretrix meum erúm miserum sua blánditia
⟨paene⟩ íntulit in paupériem:
privábit bonís, luce, honóre atque amícis.

[¶108] (Catching sight of her.) Heyday! why look, she’s close by. I do think she has heard me saying all this. She’s pale, as she has been delivered of a child. I’ll address her, as though I didn’t know her. (Addressing PHRONESIUM.) I present you my respects.
PHRONESIUM:
Our Geta, what is it you’re about? How are you?

> Latin: áttat, eccam adest propinque. credo audisse haec me loqui.
pallida est, ut peperit puerum. ádloquar quasi nesciam.
iubeo vos salvere.
Phronesivm:
Noster Cyame, quid agis? ut vales?

[¶109] GETA:
I’m well, and I’m come to one who’s not so well, and I’m bringing something with which she may get well. My master, the apple of your eye, bade me bring these presents to you,
which you see those persons carrying, and these five minae of silver.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Valeo, et venio ad minus valentem, et melius qui valeat fero.
erus meús, ocellus tuos, ád te ferre me haec iussit tibi
dona quae vides íllos ferre, et has quinque argenti minas.

[¶110] PHRONESIUM:
I’ faith, it’s not thrown away, that I’m so very fond of him.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Pol haúd perit quod illum tántum amo.

[¶111] GETA:
He bade me beg that you would accept these in kind part.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Iússit oráre, ut haec gráta haberés tibi.

[¶112] PHRONESIUM:
I’ troth, I do accept them kindly and thankfully. (To CYAMUS, who comes out of the house.) Go, Cyamus, and order them to be taken in-doors.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Grata ácceptaque ecastór habeo. iube ⟨vása⟩ auferri intro, i Cyame.

[¶113] Do you hear at all this which has been ordered? (The SERVANTS take up the things.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Écquid audítis, haec quaé iam ⟨Cyamo⟩ ímperat?

[¶114] GETA:
I don’t want them to take away the vessels; I’d like to have them emptied.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Vása nolo aúferant: désiccarí iube.

[¶115] PHRONESIUM:
An impudent fellow, i’ faith, how busy he is.
GETA:
What? do you say that I’m impudent, you who yourself are a receptacle of villany?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ímpudens mecástor, Cyame, es.
Cyamvs:
Égone?
Astaphivm:
Tu.
Cyamvs:
Boná fide?
tune ais me ímpudentem esse, ipsa quae sis stabulum flagiti?

[¶116] PHRONESIUM:
Tell me, I beg of you, where is Dinarchus?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Díc, amabó te, ubi est Díniarchús?

[¶117] GETA:
At home.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Domi.

[¶118] PHRONESIUM:
Tell him, that, for these presents which he has sent me,
I love him the most of all men, and that in return I hold him in the highest esteem of all, and entreat that he will come hither to me.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Díc ob haec dóna, quae ad mé ⟨hodie⟩ míserit,
me íllum amare plurimum ómnium hominum merito,
méque honorem ílli habere ómnium máxumum,
átque ut huc véniat ⟨ad me⟩ óbsecrare.

[¶119] GETA:
This instant. But who’s that person, pray (looking towards STRATOPHANES), that’s devouring himself, scowling with malignant eyes I’ faith, the man’s distressed in his mind,
whoever he is.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Ílicet.
séd quisnam illic homóst, qui ipsus se cómest, tristis, oculís malis?
ánimo hercle homost suo miser,
quísquis est.

[¶120] PHRONESIUM:
I’ troth, he’s deserving of it.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Dignúst mecastor. néquam est. non nosti, óbsecro,
militem, hic apud me ⟨quí⟩ erat? huius pater pueri illic est.
úsque abegi, áspuli, iússi abi⟨ret; tamen⟩
mánsit: auscultát, observat quám rem agam.

[¶121] GETA:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Novi hóminem nihili.
íllicinest?

[¶122] PHRONESIUM:
Prithee, don’t you know? He that’s yonder used to live with me; he, there, is the father of my child. He ordered it to be brought up till about a before-daylight breakfast. I waited his coming, I listened to his injunctions; I attended to the child.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Íllic est.

[¶123] GETA:
The good-for-nothing fellow that I knew so well, prithee, is that he?
PHRONESIUM:
That’s he.
GETA:
He looks at me as he groans.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Me íntuetúr gemens;

[¶124] He heaved a sigh from the very bottom of his breast. Observe that now; he gnashes his teeth; he strikes his thigh. Prithee, is he deranged, that he’s beating his own self?
STRATOPHANES: (coming forward.)

> Latin: traxit ex intimo ventre suspiritum.
hoc vide, dentibus frendit, icit femur;
num obsecro nam hariolust, qui ipsus se verberat?

[¶125] Now will I at once summon up my ungovernable indignation and my wrath from my breast!
(To GETA.) Say, whence are you? To whom do you belong? Why have you dared to speak rudely against me?
GETA:
It’s my pleasure.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Nunc égo meos animos víolentos meamque íram ex pectore iám promam.
loquere: únde es? cuius es? cúr ausu's ausus es mi inclémenter dicére?
Cyamvs:
Lubitumst.

[¶126] STRATOPHANES:
Do you answer me in that way?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Istúcine mihi respóndes?

[¶127] GETA:
In this way (snaps his fingers); I don’t care one straw for you.
STRATOPHANES: (to PHRONESIUM.)

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Hoc. non égo te flocci fácio.

[¶128] What say you? Why have you dared to say that you love another man?
PHRONESIUM:
I chose to.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quid tú? cur ausa es álium te dicére amare hominem?
Phronesivm:
Lúbitumst.

[¶129] STRATOPHANES:
Say you so, indeed? I’ll first make trial of that. Do you, for the sake of such a shabby present,
vegetables, and comestibles, and vinegar-water, bestow your love upon an effeminate, frizzle-pated, dark-haunt frequenting, drum-drubbing debauchee, a fellow not worth a nutshell?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Ain tándem? istuc primum éxperiar. tun tántilli doní causa,
holerum átque escarum et póscarum, moechúm malacum, cincínnatum,
umbráticulum, tympánotribam amás, hominem non nauci?

[¶130] GETA:
What new thing’s this? Do you dare, you rogue, to speak ill of my master, you spring-head of vice and perjury?

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Quae haéc res?
meone [ero tu], ímprobe tu, male dícere ⟨ero⟩ audés, fons viti et peiúri?

[¶131] STRATOPHANES:
Add a single word to that; by the powers, I’ll that instant here with this cut you up into mincemeat upon the spot.
(Shaking his sword at him.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Verbum únum adde istoc: iam hércle ego te hic hac óffatim confíciam.

[¶132] GETA:
Only touch me; I’ll that instant be making a lamb of you on the spot, and I’ll slice you asunder in the middle.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Tangé modo, iám ego ⟨te⟩ hic agnum faciam ét medium distrúncabo.

[¶133] If you have the renown of a warrior with your troops, still I’m a Mars in the kitchen.
PHRONESIUM: (to STRATOPHANES.)

> Latin: si tu ín legione béllator clues, át ego in culina clúeo.

[¶134] If you did the thing that’s right, you’d not be abusing my visitors, whose gifts I hold as acceptable and pleasing, and your own which I have received of you as unacceptable.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Si aequóm facias, advéntores meos ⟨nón⟩ incuses, quórum
mihi dóna accepta et gráta habeo, tuaque íngrata, quae abs te áccepi.

[¶135] STRATOPHANES:
Then, i’ faith, I’m both deprived of my presents and undone as well!
GETA:
Clearly it is so.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Tum pól ego et donis prívatus sum et périi.
Phronesivm:
Plane istúc est.

[¶136] PHRONESIUM:
Why then are you now here, with your annoyance, who confess that you are worsted in every point?
STRATOPHANES: (aside.)

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Quíd nunc ergo hic ódiosu's odiosus es, confessus omnino reus?

[¶137] I’ faith, I’m this day undone, if I don’t drive this fellow away from you.
(He approaches GETA.)
GETA: (holding up his fist.)
Only approach this way; only step this way!

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Périi hercle hodie, nísi hunc a te abigo.
Cyamvs:
Áccede huc modo, adi húc modo.

[¶138] STRATOPHANES:
Scoundrelly fellow, threatening even? Whom this very, very, very instant I’ll be chopping up into splinters. What business have you coming here? What business have you to approach her? (Pointing to PHRONESIUM.) What business have you, I say, to be knowing my mistress? You shall die this instant if you make the slightest movement with your hand.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Étiam, scelus virí, minitare? quém ego [offatim iam] iam iam cóncipilabo.
quíd tibi huc ventio est? quíd tibi hanc áditio est?
quid tibi hanc notio est, inquam, amicam meam?
emoriere ocius, ni manu viceris.

[¶139] GETA:
Why shouldn’t I move my hand?

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Quid, manu vicerim?

[¶140] STRATOPHANES:
Do as I commanded; stop; I’ll this instant cut you up into mincemeat on the spot.
GETA: (aside.)
I’m done for.
STRATOPHANES:’Twere best to be off.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Fac quod iussi, mane.
iam égo te hic offatím conficiam, ⟨síc⟩ occidi te óptumum est.

[¶141] GETA:
It’s a ticklish point; you have a longer sword there than this is (pointing to a knife in his girdle); but just let me go seek a spit, if indeed I must be having a battle with you. I’ll be off home. Warrior, for me and you I’ll choose an impartial judge.

> Latin: Cyamvs:
Cáptiost: istám machaeram lóngiorem habes quam haéc est.
séd verum ⟨me⟩ sine dum petere: siquidem belligerandum est tecum,
adero, dum ego tecum, bellator, arbitrum aequom ceperim.

[¶142] (Aside.) But why am I delaying to betake myself off hence, while with a safe inside I may?
(Exit.) (PHRONESIUM and STRATOPHANES.)
PHRONESIUM: (to her SERVANTS.)
Give me my sandals, and take me at once in-doors; for my head aches shockingly from the air.

> Latin: sed ego cesso hinc me amoliri, ventre dum salvo licet?—
Phronesivm:
Datin sóleas? atque me intro actutum ducite,
nam mihi de vento miserae condoluit caput.—

[¶143] STRATOPHANES:
What’s to become of me, to whom the two female slaves cause ache enough, with which I presented you? (PHRONESIUM is led into the house.) Are you off then? Well thus one’s used in return. How can you possibly shut me out. (The door is slammed to.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quid mihi futurum est, cui duae ancillae dolent,
quibus té donavi? iamne abiisti? em sic datur.

[¶144] Prithee, can anything be more clear than that I’m now shut out? I’m finely fooled. Be it so. With how little difficulty (placing his foot against the door) might I now be persuaded to break the ankles of this entire mansion! Do the manners of covetous women change at all?

> Latin: quo pacto excludi, quaeso, potui planius,
quam exclusus nunc sum? púlcre ludificor. sine.
quantillo mi opere nunc persuaderi potest,
ut ego his suffringam talos totis aedibus.
num quippiam tam immutat mores mulierum?

[¶145] Since she has brought forth a son, she has plucked her spirit up. Now it’s as though she said to me, “I neither ask you nor forbid you to come into the house.” But I won’t—I shan’t go—I’ll make her to be saying in a very few days that I’m a cruel man. (To his ATTENDANTS.) Follow me this way. A word’s enough.
(Exit.) (Enter STRABAX.)
STRABAX: (to himself.)
One morning a short time since my father ordered me to go hence, to deal out the mast for food for the oxen. After I got there a person arrived at the farmhouse (so it pleased the Gods), who was owing money to my father, who had formerly purchased some Tarentine sheep of my father;

> Latin: postquam filiolum peperit, animos sustulit.
nunc quasi mi dicat: nec te iubeo neque voto
intro ire in aedis. at ego nolo, non eo.
ego faxo dicat me in diebus pauculis
crudum virum esse. sequere me hac. verbum sat est.—
Strabax:
Rus mane dudum hinc ire me iussit pater,
ut bubus glandem prandio depromerem.
post illoc quam veni, advenit, si dis placet,
ad villam argentum meo qui debebat patri,
qui ovis Tarentínas erat mercatus de patre.

[¶146] he asked for my father; I said he was in the city; I enquired what he wanted with him. The fellow takes a purse from off his neck, and gives me twenty minae; with pleasure I receive them,
and stow them in my purse; these bad sheep, the minae, have I brought in my purse hither to the city.

> Latin: quaerit patrem. dico esse in urbe. interrogo,
quid eum velit …
homo cruminam sibi de collo detrahit,
minas viginti mihi dat. accipio libens,
condo in cruminam. ille abit. ego propere minas
ovis ín crumina hác in urbem detuli.

[¶147] By my troth, Mars has proved very angry with my father; for his sheep are not very far away from the wolves. Now, with this one stroke shall I send adrift those finical town gallants, and be bundling them all out of doors.

> Latin: fuít edepol Mars meo periratus patri,
nam oves illius hau longe absunt a lupis.
nunc ego istos mundulos urbanos amasios
hoc ictu exponam atque omnis eiciam foras.

[¶148] My father, in the first place, I’m quite resolved to ruin, root and branch; then next in turn, my mother. Now to-day I’ll carry this money to her whom I love more than my own mother. (Goes towards the door of PHRONESIUM, and knocks.) Hillo there—is any one here? There’s not a woman. Is any one going to open this door?
(opens the door.)
ASTAPHIUM:
Why so a stranger, pray, my dear Strabax?
Why don’t you come in at once?
Ought you to have been doing so,
you, indeed, who are so intimate?

> Latin: eradicarest certum cumprimis patrem,
post id locorum matrem. nunc hoc deferam
argentum ad hanc, quam mage amo quam matrem meam.
tat, ecquis intust? ecquis hoc aperit ostium?
Astaphivm:
Quid istúc? alienun es, amabo, mi Strabax,
qui non extemplo ⟨intro⟩ ieris?

[¶149] STRABAX:
I’ll go in then, that you mayn’t think I’m loitering.
(Goes into the house.)

> Latin: Strabax:
Anne oportuit?

[¶150] ASTAPHIUM:
You act obligingly.
(Enter STRATILAX.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ita te quidem, qui es familiaris.

[¶151] STRATILAX: (to himself.)

> Latin: Strabax:
Ibitur,
ne me morari censeas.—
Astaphivm:
Lepide facis.

[¶152] It seems marvellous to me, that Strabax, my master’s son,
hasn’t returned from the country, unless perchance he has slily slipt in here into this den of corruption of his.
ASTAPHIUM: (aside.)

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Mirum videtur, rure erilem filium
Strabacem non rediisse; nisi si clanculum
conlapsus est hic in corruptelam suam.

[¶153] Now, faith, he’ll be roaring at me if he espies me.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Iam pol illic inclamabit me si aspexerit.

[¶154] STRATILAX:
I’m much less savage now, Astaphium, than I was before; I’m not churlish now; don’t thee fear. (She runs to a distance.) What wouldst thee be at? What?

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Nimio minus saévos iam sum, Astaphium, quam fui,
iam non ⟨ego⟩ sum truculentus, noli metuere.

[¶155] ASTAPHIUM:
What, say you? Why, I’m waiting for your churlishness.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid vis? qui⟨d metuam⟩? tuam expecto truculentiam.

[¶156] STRATILAX:
Say, command me what thee dost please, and in what way thee dost please. I’ve got all my manners anew: my old ones I’ve parted with. I can e’en fall in love, or take a mistress now.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Dic impera mihi quid libet quo vis modo.
novos ómnis mores habeo, veteres perdidi.
vel amare possum vel iam scortum ducere.

[¶157] ASTAPHIUM:
Upon my faith, you do tell me fine news. But tell me,
have you—?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Lepide mecastor nuntias. sed dic mihi,
haben—

[¶158] STRATILAX:
A mistress, perhaps, thee means.

> Latin: Trvcvlentvs:
Marsipum te fortasse dicere?

[¶159] ASTAPHIUM:
You’ve understood nicely what I meant to say.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Intellexisti lepide quid ego dicerem.

[¶160] STRATILAX:
Hark you, since I’ve been so many times backwards and forwards to the city, I’ve become quite a chatterer; I’m now a right good stalker.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Heus tu, iam postquam in urbem crebro commeo,
dicax sum factus. iam sum caullator probus.

## 3. Lines 684–968

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/3/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plautus-truculentus/3/#p-N

[¶0] ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, what’s that? That’s nonsense;
perhaps you intend to mean “talking.”

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid id est, amabo? ístaec ridicularia,
cavillátiones, vis opinor dicere?

[¶1] STRATILAX:
Just so; it differs mighty little from stalking.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Istud pauxillum differt a cavillibus.

[¶2] ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, do follow me in-doors, my love.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Sequere intro [me], amabo, mea voluptas.

[¶3] STRATILAX: (holding out some money to her.)
Take this for thyself; keep it as a ledger for thee, that thee mayst give me thy company this night.
ASTAPHIUM: (taking the money.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Tene hoc tibi:
rabonem habeto, ut mecum hanc noctem sies.

[¶4] You are the death of me, with your “ledger.” What kind of beast am I to say that is?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Perii, rabonem? quam esse dicam hanc beluam?

[¶5] Thy don’t you say “pledge?”
STRATILAX:
The “r” I make a saving of; just as the Praenestines have “conia,” for “ciconia.”

> Latin: quin tu arrabonem dicis?
Stratophanes:
“A” facio lucri,
ut Praenestinis conia est ciconia.

[¶6] ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, do follow me.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Sequere, obsecro.

[¶7] STRATILAX:
I’ll wait here a little for Strabax, till he comes from the farm.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Strabacem hic opperiar modo,
si rure veniat.

[¶8] ASTAPHIUM:
Why, Strabax is at our house. He has just come from the farm.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Is quidem hic ápud nos est Strabax,
modo rure venit.

[¶9] STRATILAX:
What, before he went to his own mother?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Priusne quam ad matrem suam?

[¶10] Alas, the man’s worth nought, i’ faith.
ASTAPHIUM:
What now, your old habit?

> Latin: eu edepol hominem nihili.
Astaphivm:
Iamne autem ut soles?

[¶11] STRATILAX:
Well, I’ll say nought.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Iamne nihil dico?

[¶12] ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, do come indoors. Give me your hand.
(Takes his hand.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
I intro, amabo, cedo manum.

[¶13] STRATILAX:
Well, take it. (To the AUDIENCE.) I’m being led off into a public-house, where I shall be but poorly entertained for my money.
(They go into the house of PHRONESIUM.) (Enter DINARCHUS.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Tene. in tabernam ducor devorsoriam,
ubi male accipiar mea mihi pecunia.—

[¶14] DINARCHUS: (to himself.)
There’s not a person born, nor will there be born, nor can there be found one,
to whom I would now wish praises to be given, or on whom attentions bestowed, rather than on Venus. Ye great Gods, how joyous I am, and how I’m transported with joyousness! Such great tidings of joy has Cyamus brought to me this day; that my presents have been esteemed and deemed acceptable by Phronesium. While this now is a delight, then besides this in especial is rare honey-drink to me,
that the Captain’s presents are held as disagreable and not acceptable. I’m all enraptured! The ball’s my own; if the Captain’s sent adrift, the woman will be mine. I’m saved, because I’m going to ruin; if I didn’t go to ruin, it’s clear I should die. Now I’ll keep watch, what’s going on there, who goes into the house, who comes out of doors; from here at a distance will I observe what is to be my lot.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Néque gnatust neque progignetur neque potest reperirier
cuí ego nunc ⟨aut⟩ dictum aut factum melius quam Veneri velim.
di magni, … ut ego laetus sum et laetitia differor.
ita ad me magna nuntiavit Cyamus hodie gaudia:
mea dona deamata acceptaque habita esse apud Phronesium;
quom hoc iam volup est, tum illuc nimium magnae mellinae mihi,
militis odiosa ingrataque habita. totus gaudeo.
mea pila est: si repudiatur miles, mulier mecum erit.
salvos sum, quia pereo; si non peream, plane perierim.
nunc speculabor quid ibi agatur, quis eat intro, qui foras
veniat; procul hinc observabo, meis quid fortunis fuat.

[¶15] Because I’ve got nothing, my feelings remind me of one thing; I’ll do everything by begging.
(Enter ASTAPHIUM, from the house of PHRONESIUM.)
ASTAPHIUM: (speaking to her MISTRESS as she comes out.)
I’ll cleverly do my duty, mistress; do you only take care that in-doors you do yours as well; love that which you ought, your own interest; clean that fellow thoroughly out. Now, while it pleases the fellow, while he has got something, adapt the opportunity to that purpose. Display all your charms to your lover that you may heighten his joys.

> Latin: quia nihil habeo unum animos movi mi hic omnia agam precario†
Astaphivm:
Lepide éfficiam meum ego ófficium: vide intús modo ut tu tuom item éfficias.
ama, íd quod decét, rem tuam: ístum exináni.
nunc dum isti lubet, dum habet, tempus ei rei † secundas
prome venustatem amanti tuam, ut gaudeat cum perdis.

[¶16] I meantime will stay here behind and watch at this door so long as he is thus transporting his presents home to you; nor, in the meantime, will I admit any one from there to you who may cause you annoyance. Do you go on, just as you please. Are you not diddling these fellows?

> Latin: ego híc interím restitáns praesidébo,
istíc dum sic fáciat domum ad te exagógam;
nec quémquam interim ístoc ad vós, qui sit ódio,
intró mittam: tú perge, ut lúbet, ludo in ístoc.

[¶17] DINARCHUS:
How now, Astaphium, tell me, who is this fellow that’s on the road to ruin?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quis ístest, Astaphium, índica, qui périt?

[¶18] ASTAPHIUM:
Prithee, were you here?

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Amabo, hicín tu eras?

[¶19] DINARCHUS:
What—am I troublesome?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Moléstusne súm?

[¶20] ASTAPHIUM:
More now than you were; for unless a person is of use to us, he is troublesome to us. But, prithee, do lend me your attention, that I may say what I want.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Nunc magís quam fuísti,
nam si quid nobis usust nobis molestus†
sed óbsecro, da mi óperam, ut narrem quaé volo.

[¶21] DINARCHUS:
Why, what is it? Does it concern myself?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Nám quid est? núm mea réfert?

[¶22] ASTAPHIUM:
Not a rap. But what hauls he is making present of in-doors.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Non mússito.
intús bolos quós dat!

[¶23] DINARCHUS:
How? Some new lover?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quíd? amator novos quíspiam?

[¶24] ASTAPHIUM:
A fresh one, and a brimming treasure she has hit upon.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Íntegrum et plénum adortást thensaurúm.

[¶25] DINARCHUS:
Who is he?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quis est?

[¶26] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ll tell you, but you be mum. Don’t you know this Strabax?
(Pointing to his FATHER’S house.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Éloquar, sed tú taceto. nóstin tu hunc Strabácem?

[¶27] DINARCHUS:
Why shouldn’t I?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quidni?

[¶28] ASTAPHIUM:
He alone rules the roast here at our house. He just now is a landed estate to us. With right good spirit is he wantonly wasting away his property.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Sólus summam ⟨núnc⟩ habet hic ápud nos, nunc is est fúndus nobis.
animó bono male ⟨rem⟩ gerit.

[¶29] DINARCHUS:
He’s on the road to ruin; i’ faith, I, too, have come to ruin.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Perit hercle, ego idem …
bona pérdidi, mala repperi, factus sum extimus a vobis.

[¶30] ASTAPHIUM:
You are a simpleton, to expect with words to make undone what is done.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Stúltus es, qui facta infecta facere verbis postules.

[¶31] DINARCHUS:
Even Thetis, too, in weeping, made lamentation for her son.

> Latin: Thetis quoque etiam lamentando pausam fecit filio.

[¶32] Can I not now be admitted in-doors to your house?
ASTAPHIUM:
Why so rather than the Captain?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Non ego nunc intro ad vos mittar?
Astaphivm:
Quidum quam miles magis?

[¶33] DINARCHUS:
Why, because I’ve given more.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quia enim plus dedi.

[¶34] ASTAPHIUM:
But you were admitted more, when you were giving more; let those who give, in return for that which they give, enjoy our services.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Plus enim es íntro missus, quom dabas:
sine vicissim qui dant [operam] ob illud quod dant operis utier.

[¶35] You’ve learnt your letters; since you know them yourself, let others learn them.

> Latin: litteras didicisti: quando scis, sine alios discere.

[¶36] DINARCHUS:
Let them learn, so long as it is allowed me to con my lesson, that I may not forget what I have paid for.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Discant, dum mihi commentari liceat, ni oblitus siem.

[¶37] ASTAPHIUM:
In the meantime, while you, who are a master, shall be conning your lesson, she, as well, is desirous to con hers.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quid erit interea magistrae, dum tu commentabere?
volt [interim] illa itidem commentari.

[¶38] DINARCHUS:
How so?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid?

[¶39] ASTAPHIUM:
In receiving money ever and anon.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Rem accipere identidem.

[¶40] DINARCHUS:
For my own part, this very day I gave five minae of silver to be carried to her,
besides one for provisions.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Dedi equidem hodie: ⟨iussi⟩ ei quinque argenti deferri minas,
praeterea una mína obsonatum.

[¶41] ASTAPHIUM:
I know that the same was brought; with it we are now enjoying ourselves upon your liberality.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Idem istuc delatum scio.
de eo nunc bene sunt tua virtute.

[¶42] DINARCHUS:
For these enemies of mine here to be devouring my property! By heavens, I’d rather that I were dead than submit to that!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Ei, meane [ut] inimici mei
bona istic caedent? mortuom hercle me quam ut id pátiar mavelim.

[¶43] ASTAPHIUM:
You are a simpleton.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
†Stultus quid est aperire.

[¶44] DINARCHUS:
How’s that?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid iam?

[¶45] ASTAPHIUM:
Wait.
DINARCHUS:
Why so?
ASTAPHIUM:
Because, I’ troth, I’d rather
that my enemies should envy me, than I my enemies; for to envy because it goes well with another, and goes badly with yourself, is wretchedness.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Quia pol mavelim
mihi inimicos invidere, quam med inimicis meis;
nam invidere alii bene esse, tibi male esse, miseria est.

[¶46] Those who are envious, are in want; they who are envied, possess property.

> Latin: qui invident egent; illis quibus invidetur, i rem habent.

[¶47] DINARCHUS:
May I not be a partaker of the provisions bought with the mina?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Non ⟨mei⟩ licet obsoni me participem fieri?

[¶48] ASTAPHIUM:
If you wanted to be a partaker, you should have taken half home. For here an account of the receipts is entered just as at Acheron;

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Si volebas participari, auferres dimidium domum.
nám item ut Acherunti hic ⟨apud nos⟩ ratio accepti scribitur:

[¶49] we take in-doors; when it’s got by us, it can’t be carried out of doors. (Turning on her heel.) Kindly farewell.
DINARCHUS: (catching hold of her.)
Do stay.

> Latin: intro accipitur; quando acceptumst, non potest ferri foras.
bene vale.
Diniarchvs:
Resiste.

[¶50] ASTAPHIUM: (struggling.)
Let me go! Leave off!

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Omitte.

[¶51] DINARCHUS:
Do let me go in.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
A, mitte intro.

[¶52] ASTAPHIUM:
Yes, to your own house,

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Ad te quidem.

[¶53] DINARCHUS:
Aye, but here into your house.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Immo istoc ad vos ⟨volo⟩ ire.

[¶54] ASTAPHIUM:
You cannot go.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Non potest, nimium petis.

[¶55] DINARCHUS:
I can, very well. Do let me try.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Experiri [sine]—

[¶56] ASTAPHIUM:
No, wait here; it’s sheer violence to try.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Immo opperire. vis est experirier.

[¶57] I’d say that you are here, if she wasn’t engaged.
(Runs to the door.)
DINARCHUS:
Ha! Do stop!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Dic me adesse.

[¶58] ASTAPHIUM:
It’s of no use.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Abi, occupatast. res itast, ne frustra sis.

[¶59] DINARCHUS:
Are you going to return or not?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Redin an non redis?

[¶60] ASTAPHIUM:
I’d return, but a voice is calling me that has more influence with me than you have.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Vocat me quae in me potest plus quam potes.

[¶61] DINARCHUS:
In one word
I’ll say it.
You’ll receive me?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vno verbo—

[¶62] ASTAPHIUM:
You are telling a lie—be off. One word, you said; but now three words have you uttered, and those untrue.
(Goes into the house, and shuts the door.)

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Eloquere.

[¶63] DINARCHUS: (to himself.)
She’s off, and she’s gone hence in-doors That I should endure these things to be done to me. By heavens, enticer, with my cries I’ll be exposing you to ridicule in the street,
you who, contrary to law, have received money from many a one. Upon my faith, I’ll forthwith cause your name to be before every magistrate, and after that I’ll sue you for fourfold, you sorceress, you kidnapper of children. By the powers, I’ll now disclose all your disgraceful deeds. Worthless creature that I am, who have lost everything I had! I’m become desperate,
and now I haven’t the slightest bit of concern what shoes I wear. But why am I trying here? What, suppose she were to order me to be let in? I could swear in solemn form that I wouldn’t do it if she wished. It’s nonsense. If you thump a goad with your fists, your hands are hurt the most. It’s no good to be angry at a thing of nothing; a creature that doesn’t value you a straw.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Mittin me intro?
Astaphivm:
Mendax es, abi.
unum aiebas, tria iam dixti verba, atque ⟨ea⟩ mendacia.—
Diniarchvs:
Abiit intro, exclusit. egon ut haec mihi patiar fieri?
iam hercle egó tibi, inlecebra, ludos faciam clamore in via,
quae adversum legem accepisti a plurimis pecuniam;
iam hercle apud nóvos omnis magistrátus faxo erit nomen tuom,
post id égo te manum iníciam quadrupuli, venefica,
suppostrix puerum. égo edepol iam tua probra aperibo omnia.
nihil me ⟨prohibet,⟩ perdidi omne quod fuit: fio impudens,
nec mi adeost tantillum pensi iam, quos capiam calceos.
sed quid ego hic clamo? quid si me iubeat intromittier?
conceptis me non facturum verbis iurem, si velit.
nugae sunt. si stimulos pugnis caedis, manibus plus dolet.
de nihilo nihil est irasci, quae te non flocci facit.

[¶64] (Starting.) But what’s this? O immortal Gods, I see old Callicles, him who was my connexion by marriage, bringing two female slaves in bonds, the one the hair-dresser of this Phronesium, the other his own servant-maid. I’m greatly alarmed! inasmuch as one care has so recently taken possession of my heart, I’m afraid lest all my former misdeeds should be discovered.
(Stands aside.) (Enter CALLICLES, attended by SLAVES, with his MAID-SERVANT and SYRA, bound.)
CALLICLES: (to his SERVANT.)

> Latin: sed quid hoc ést? pro di immortales, Calliclem video senem,
meus qui adfinis fuit, ancillas duas constrictas ducere,
alteram tonstricem húius, alteram ancillam suam.
pertimui: postquam una cura cor meum movit modo,
timeo ne male facta antiqua mea sint inventa omnia.

[¶65] Do I use ill language to you, or do I wish you so very ill? According to my ideas, you have both pretty well experienced how mild and gentle a person I am. I interrogated you both, as you were lashed and hanging up by the arms; I well remember it; the way in which you quite confessed each point, I know. Here now, I wish in the same way to learn; do you confess without a punishment.

> Latin: Callicles:
Egon tibi male dícam tibique aut male velim? ut animus meust,
propemodum expertae estis, quam ego sim mitis tranquillusque homo.
rogitavi ego vos verberatas ambas pendentis simul;
commemini, quo quicque pacto sitis confessae scio;
hic nunc volo scire eodem pacton sine malo fateamini.

[¶66] Although you are both of you of the serpent nature, I tell you beforehand, you mustn’t be having double tongues, lest with your two tongues I should be putting you to death; unless, perhaps, you wish to be taken to the men who go clink, clink.

> Latin: quamquam vos colubrino ingenio ambae estis, edico prius,
ne duplicis habeatis linguas, ne ego bilinguis vos necem,
nisi si ad tintinnaculos voltis vos educi viros.

[¶67] A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
Violence forces me to confess the truth; the thongs do so gall my arms.

> Latin: Ancilla:
Vis subigit verum fateri, ita lora laedunt bracchia.

[¶68] CALLICLES:
But, if you confess the truth to me, you shall be relieved from the chains.
DINARCHUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Callicles:
At si verum mi eritis fassae, vinclis exsolvemini.

[¶69] Even now, what’s the matter, I’m at a loss to know and uncertain; except that still I’m afraid.
SYRA:
What I’ve done wrong I know not.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Etiamnum quid sit negoti, falsus incertusque sum,
nisi quia timeo tamen, egomet ⟨quia⟩ quod peccavi scio.

[¶70] CALLICLES:
First of all, then, you stand apart. (They stand apart.) Aye, so; that’s what I mean; that you mayn’t be making signs between you, I’ll be a party-wall. (To his MAID-SERVANT.) Speak you.

> Latin: Callicles:
Omnium primum diversae state—em sic, istuc volo;
neve inter vos significetis, ego ero paries. loquere tu.

[¶71] A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
What am I to speak about?
CALLICLES:
What was done with the child that my daughter was delivered of? My grandchild, I mean? Tell me the circumstances of the case.
A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
I gave it to her.
(Pointing to SYRA.)

> Latin: Ancilla:
Quid loquar?

[¶72] CALLICLES: (to the MAID-SERVANT.)

> Latin: Callicles:
Quid puero factumst, mea quem peperit filia,
meo nepote? capita rerum ⟨ede⟩ expedite.
Ancilla:
Istae dedi.

[¶73] Now hold your tongue. (To SYRA.) Did you receive the child from her?
SYRA:
I did receive it.
CALLICLES: (to SYRA.)
Hold your tongue; I want no more; you’ve confessed enough.
SYRA:
I’m not going to deny it.

> Latin: Callicles:
Iam tace. accepistin puerum tú ab hac?
Tonstrix:
Accepi.
Callicles:
Tace.
nil moror praeterea. satis es fassa.
Tonstrix:
Infitias non eo.

[¶74] CALLICLES:
By this you’ve now caused some relief for your shoulder-blades. So far, the account of each of them tallies.

> Latin: Callicles:
Iam livorem verbo scapulis istoc concinnas tuis.
conveniunt adhuc utriusque verba.

[¶75] DINARCHUS: (apart.)
Ah wretched me!
my doings are now being disclosed, which I hoped would be concealed.
CALLICLES: (to the MAID-SERVANT.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Vae misero mihi,
mea nunc facinora aperiuntur, clam quae speravi fore.

[¶76] Speak, you. Who bade you give the child to her?
A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
My elder mistress.
CALLICLES: (to SYRA.)

> Latin: Callicles:
Loquere tu. qui dare te huic puerum iussit?
Ancilla:
Era maior mea.

[¶77] What say you? Why did you receive it?
SYRA:
My young mistress entreated me that the child might be brought, and that all this might remain secret.
CALLICLES: (to SYRA.)

> Latin: Callicles:
[Quid tu, cur eum accepisti?]
Tonstrix:
[Era med oravit minor,]
[puer ut ⟨sibi⟩ ferretur eaque ut celarentur omnia.]

[¶78] Speak, you. What did you do with this child?
SYRA:
I took it to my mistress.

> Latin: Callicles:
Loquere tu. quid eo fecisti puero?
Tonstrix:
Ad meam eram detuli.

[¶79] CALLICLES:
What did your mistress do with this child?
SYRA:
Gave it at once to my mistress.

> Latin: Callicles:
Quid eo puero tua era fecit?
Tonstrix:
Erae meae extemplo dedit.

[¶80] CALLICLES:
Plague on it, to what mistress?
A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
There are two of them.

> Latin: Callicles:
Quoi, malum, erae?

[¶81] CALLICLES: (to the MAID.)
Take you care, unless I ask you anything, only to answer that which I ask of you.
SYRA:
The mother, I say, made a present of it to the daughter.

> Latin: Ancilla:
Duae sunt istae.
Callicles:
Cave tu nisi quod te rogo.
ex te exquiro.
Tonstrix:
Mater, inquam, filiae dono dedit.

[¶82] CALLICLES:
You are saying more than you did just now.
SYRA:
You are asking more.
CALLICLES:
Answer me quickly; what did she do, to whom it was given? Tell me.
SYRA:
She passed it off as—
CALLICLES:
Whose?
SYRA:
As her own
son.
CALLICLES:
As her own son?
Ye Gods, by my trust in you I do appeal to you, how much more easily does another than she to whom it belongs, bring forth another’s child! She, by the labours of another, has brought forth this child without pain. A child blest indeed! two mothers it has got, and grandams two. I’m now afraid how many fathers there may have been. Do see, please, the shocking deeds of women!

> Latin: Callicles:
Plus quam dudum [inqua] loquere.
Tonstrix:
Plus tu rogitas.
Callicles:
Responde ocius:
quid illa cui donatus ⟨puer⟩ est?
Tonstrix:
Supposivit.
Callicles:
Cui?
Tonstrix:
Sibi.
Callicles:
Pro filiolon?
Tonstrix:
Pro filiolo.
Callicles:
Di, obsecro vostram fidem,
ut facilius alia quam alia eundem puerum unum parit:
haec labore alieno puerum peperit sine doloribus.
puer quidem beatust: matres duás habet et avias duas:
iam metuo, patres quot fuerint. vide sis facinus muliebre.

[¶83] A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
I’ troth, this fraud relates rather to the men than to the women.’Twas a man, and not a woman, that caused her pregnancy.
CALLICLES:
I know that too. You were a trusty guardian for it.
A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
He can do the most, who is strong the most. He was a man; he was the strongest; he prevailed; what he wanted, he carried off.

> Latin: Ancilla:
Magis pol haec malitia pertinét ad viros quam ad mulieres:
vir illam, non mulier praegnatem fecit.
Callicles:
Idem ego istuc scio.
tu bona ei custos fuisti.
Ancilla:
Plus potest qui plus valet.
vir erat, plus valebat: vicit, quod petebat abstulit.

[¶84] CALLICLES:
And, i’ faith, he too brought a heavy mishap, in fact, upon yourself.

> Latin: Callicles:
Et tibi quidem hercle ídem attulit magnum malum.

[¶85] A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
The thing itself experienced, I myself fully know that, even if you had held your tongue.

> Latin: Ancilla:
Idem istuc ipsa, etsi tu taceas, reapse experta intellego.

[¶86] CALLICLES:
Never, this day, have I been able to made you declare who he was.
A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.: (aside, on catching sight of DINARCHUS.)

> Latin: Callicles:
Numquam te facere hodie quivi, ut is quis esset diceres.

[¶87] I’ve held my tongue; but now I shan’t hold my tongue, since he’s here; it’s necessary I should tell.
DINARCHUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Ancilla:
Tacui adhuc: nunc ⟨non⟩ tacebo, quando adest nec se indicat.

[¶88] I’m petrified; in my wretchedness, I dare not move myself; the matter’s all out! The trial’s now going on here for my life!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Lapideus sum, commovere me miser non audeo.
res palam omnis est, meo illic nunc sunt capiti comitia.

[¶89] These are my misdeeds, this is my folly. I’m in dread how soon I may be named.
CALLICLES: (to the MAID-SERVANT.)

> Latin: meum illuc facinus, mea stultitia est. timeo, quam mox nominer.

[¶90] Speak out, who was it, debauched my maiden daughter?

> Latin: Callicles:
Loquere, filiam meam quis integram stupraverit.

[¶91] A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
I see him near you. A supporter of the wall.
CALLICLES:
Hussy, who was it?
DINARCHUS: (apart.)

> Latin: Ancilla:
Video ego té, propter male facta qui es patronus parieti.

[¶92] I’m neither alive nor dead, nor know I what I am now to do; neither know I how to go away hence, nor how to accost him; I’m numbed with fear.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Neque vivos neque mortuos sum, ne⟨que⟩ quid nunc faciam scio,
neque ut hinc abeam neque ut hunc adeam scio, timore torpeo.

[¶93] CALLICLES:
Will you tell me, or no?
A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
It is Dinarchus, to whom you first betrothed her.

> Latin: Callicles:
Dicin an non?

[¶94] CALLICLES: (looking round.)

> Latin: Ancilla:
Diniarchus, quoi illam prius desponderas.

[¶95] Where is this person whom you mention?
DINARCHUS: (stepping forward.)
Here I am, Callicles. (Falling on the ground.) By your knees I do entreat you that you will bear with wisdom that which was done in folly; and that you will pardon me that, which, losing my senses, I did through the bad influence of wine.

> Latin: Callicles:
Vbi is homost quem dicis?
Diniarchvs:
Adsum, Callicles. per tua obsecro
genua te, ut istuc insipienter factum sapienter feras,
mihique ignoscas quod animi impos vini vitio fecerim.

[¶96] CALLICLES:
You please me not. You throw the blame on what is dumb, that which cannot speak.

> Latin: Callicles:
Non placet ⟨qui⟩ in mutum culpam confert, ⟨qui non⟩ quit loqui.

[¶97] But the wine, if it could speak, would defend itself. It’s not wine that’s in the habit of ruling men, but men wine; those, indeed, who are virtuous men; but he who is bad, although he drinks water, or if indeed he abstains from intoxicating liquors, still, by nature he’s bad.

> Latin: nam vinum si fabulari possit, se defenderet.
non vinum ⟨viris⟩ moderari, sed viri vino solent,
qui quidem probi sunt; verum qui improbust si quasi bibit
sive adeo caret temeto, tamen ab ingenio improbust.

[¶98] DINARCHUS:
Well, I’m sensible that many reproaches must be heard by me, which I would prefer not.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Scio equidem quae nolo multa mi audienda ob noxiam.

[¶99] I confess that I’ve offended you, and am privy to the crime.

> Latin: ego tibi me obnoxium esse fateor culpae compotem.

[¶100] A MAID-SERVANT of Callicles.:
Callicles, prithee beware that you do injury to no person; the accused is pleading his cause at large, the witnesses you are keeping in bonds.
CALLICLES: (to his SLAVES.)

> Latin: Ancilla:
Callicles, vide in quaéstione ne facias iniuriam:
reus solutus causam dicit, testis vinctos attines.

[¶101] Release those women. (They are unbound.) Come (to each of them in turn), do you be off home, and you home as well. (To SYRA.) Tell your mistress this: she must give up the child, if any one asks for it. (SYRA goes into the house of PHRONESIUM, and exit the MAID-SERVANT.)

> Latin: Callicles:
Solvite istas. agite, abite tu domum et tu autem domum.
eloquere haec erae tu: puerum reddat, si quis eum petat.

[¶102] You, Dinarchus, let’s go before the judge.
DINARCHUS:
Why do you wish me to go before the judge? You are the Praetor to me. But I entreat of you, Callicles, that you’ll give me your daughter for a wife.

> Latin: eamus tu in ius.
Diniarchvs:
Quid vis in ius me ire? tu es praetor mihi.
verum te obsecro, ut tuam gnatam des mi uxorem, Callicles.

[¶103] CALLICLES:
I’ faith, I find, indeed, that you’ve come to a decision on that point yourself; for you haven’t waited till I gave her; you have helped yourself. Now keep her, as you’ve got her, but I’ll fine you this grand haul;

> Latin: Callicles:
Eundem pol te iudicasse qui admisti eam rem intellego.
nam haud mansisti, dum ego darem illam: tute sumpsisti tibi.
nunc habeas ut nactu's nactus es. verum hoc ego te multabo bolo:

[¶104] six great talents will I deduct from her dowry for this folly.

> Latin: sex talenta magna dotis demam pro ista inscitia.

[¶105] DINARCHUS:
You act kindly towards me.
CALLICLES:’Twere best for you to demand your son back from thence. (Pointing to the house of PHRONESIUM.) But your wife, as soon as possible, take away from my house. I shall at once, therefore, send a messenger to that kinsman of mine by marriage, and tell him to look out for another match for his son.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Bene agis mecum.
Callicles:
Filium istinc tuom te meliust repetere.
ceterum uxorem quam primum potest abduce ex aedibus.
ego abeo. iam illi remittam nuntium adfini meo,
dicam ut aliam condicionem filio inveniat suo.—

[¶106] DINARCHUS: (to himself.)
But I’ll demand back the child of her, lest by-and-by she should deny it. That’s of no use; for she herself, of her own accord, has discovered the whole matter to me, how it happened. But see, right opportunely, i’ faith, is she coming out of doors from her house. Assuredly, a far-darting sting has that woman, who even from that distance is wounding my heart.
(Stands aside.) (Enter PHRONESIUM and ASTAPHIUM, from the house of the former.)
PHRONESIUM: (to herself.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
At ego ab hac puerum reposcam, ne mox infitias eat;
nihil est, nám eapse ultro ut factumst fecit omnem rem palam.
sed nimium pol opportune éccam eapse egreditur foras.
ne ista stimulum longum habet, quae usque illinc cor pungit meum.

[¶107] A woman is a spoony and a trolloping slut, if she hasn’t a view to her own interests, even in her cups.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Blitea et luteast meretrix nisi quae sapit in vino ad rem suam;

[¶108] If her other limbs are soaked in wine, at least let her head be sober. But it’s a vexation to me that my hair-dresser has been thus badly treated. She has been telling me that this child has been discovered to be the son of Dinarchus. When I heard that … (She moves, as if going.)
DINARCHUS: (apart.)
She’s going, in whose hands are all my fortune and my children.
PHRONESIUM: (seeing DINARCHUS.)

> Latin: si alia membra vino madeant, cor sit saltem sobrium.
nam mihi dividiaest, [in] tonstricem meam sic convictam male.
ea dixit, eum Diniarchi puerum inventum filium.
ubi id audivi, quám ⟨ego propere potui egressa huc sum foras.⟩
Diniarchvs:
⟨Lubet adire⟩ quam penes est mea omnis res et liberi.

[¶109] I see him who has constituted me the guardian of his property.
DINARCHUS: (coming forward.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Video eccum qui suis tutorem med optavit liberis.

[¶110] Madam, here am I.
PHRONESIUM:
It certainly is he. What’s the matter, my love?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Mulier, ad ⟨te⟩ sum profectus.
Phronesivm:
Quid agitur, voluptas mea?

[¶111] DINARCHUS:
No love; cease your trifling. I’ve nothing now to do with that subject.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Non voluptas, aufer nugas, nil ego nunc de istac re ago.

[¶112] PHRONESIUM:
By my faith, I know what you want, and what you desire, and what you ask for. You want to see me; you desire to caress me; you ask for the child.
DINARCHUS: (aside.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Scio mecastor quid velis ét quid postules et quid petas:
me videre vis, [et me] te a me ire postulas, puerum petis.

[¶113] Immortal Gods! how plain she speaks. How, in a few words, has she hit upon the very point!

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Di immortales, ut planiloqua est, paucis ut rem ipsam attigit.

[¶114] PHRONESIUM:
As for me, I know that you are betrothed, and that you have a son by your betrothed, and that a wife is now going to be married by you; that now your thoughts are elsewhere, that myself you are going to consider as forsaken. But still consider, the little mouse, how sagacious an animal it is, which never entrusts its life to one hole only;
inasmuch as, if one hole is blocked up, it seeks another as a place of refuge.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Scio equidem sponsam tibi esse et filium ex sponsa tua
et tibi uxorem ducendam, [iam] esse alibi iám animum tuom
et ⟨me⟩ quasi pro derelicta: scio, abituru's abiturus es. sed tamen
cogitato, mus pusillus quam sit sapiens bestia,
aetatem qui non cubili ⟨uni⟩ umquam committit suam,
quin, si unum obsideatur, aliud ⟨iam⟩ perfugium ⟨ele⟩gerit.

[¶115] DINARCHUS:
When there’s leisure, then I’ll talk to you on those matters more at large; at present, give me up the child.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Otium ubi erit, de istis rebus tum amplius tecum loquar.
nunc puerum redde.

[¶116] PHRONESIUM:
No; do, there’s a dear, let it be at my house the few next days.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Immo amabo ut hos dies aliquos sinas
eum esse apud me.

[¶117] DINARCHUS:
Certainly not.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Minime.

[¶118] PHRONESIUM:
Do, there’s a dear.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Amabo.

[¶119] DINARCHUS:
What occasion is there?

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Quid opus ⟨est⟩?

[¶120] PHRONESIUM:
It’s for my interest. This for the next three days at least, until the Captain is circumvented somehow;
for that same purpose. If I get anything, it shall be for your own advantage as well. If you take the child away, all hope in the Captain will evaporate from my heart.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
In rem meam ⟨est⟩.
triduom hoc saltem, dum áliquo miles circumducitur,
sine me habere: siquidem habebo, tibi quoque etiam proderit;
si auferes [puerum], a milite omnis [tum] mihi spes animam efflaverit.

[¶121] DINARCHUS:
I would have that done; but, when it’s taken home, to do it again, if I were to wish it, I have not the opportunity. Now make use of the child, and take care of it, because you have the means by which to take care of it.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Factum cupio, nam nefacere si velim, non est locus;
nunc puero utere et procura, quando quor cures habes.

[¶122] PHRONESIUM:
Upon my faith, I do love you much for this matter. When you shall be afraid of a scolding at home,
do you take shelter here in my house. At least, prove a friend, to help me to a profitable speculation.
DINARCHUS: (moving.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Multum amo te ób istam rem mecastor. ubi domi metues malum,
fugito huc ad me: saltem amicus mi esto † manubinarius.

[¶123] Kindly farewell, Phronesium.
PHRONESIUM:
Won’t you any longer call me “apple of your eye?”

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Bene vale, Phronesium.
Phronesivm:
⟨An non et⟩iam tuom oculum vocas?

[¶124] DINARCHUS:
That name too, meanwhile, shall be repeated full oft.

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Id quoque interim † futatim nomen commemorabitur.
numquid vis?

[¶125] PHRONESIUM:
Do you wish for anything else?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Fac valeas.

[¶126] DINARCHUS:
Fare thee well; when I have leisure, I’ll come to your house.
(Exit.)

> Latin: Diniarchvs:
Operae ubi mi erit, ad te venero.—

[¶127] PHRONESIUM:
Well, he’s gone away from here, and has taken his departure; we may say here whatever we please.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Ille quidem hinc abiit, abscessit. dicere hic quidvis licet.

[¶128] ’Tis a true proverb that’s quoted, “Where the friends are, there are the riches.” Through him, there’s still some hope that the Captain may be duped to-day; whom, by the powers, I love better than my own self,—so long as I get out of him what I want: since, when we have got much, not much of it is seen that has been given. Such are the brilliant prospects of Courtesans!
ASTAPHIUM:
Hush! hush! be quiet.

> Latin: verum est verbum quod memoratur: ubi amici ibidem ⟨sunt⟩ opes.
propter hunc spes etiamst hodie † tantum iri militem;
quém ego ecastor mage amo quam me, dum id quod cupio inde aufero.
quae cum multum abstulimus, hau multum ⟨eius⟩ apparet quod datum est:
ita sunt gloriae meretricum.
Astaphivm:
Áha tace.

[¶129] PHRONESIUM:
Prithee, what is it?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quid est, obsecro?

[¶130] ASTAPHIUM:
The father of the child is coming.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
⟨Pater⟩ adest pueri.

[¶131] PHRONESIUM:
Well, let him come here. Let him, if it only is he,
let him come himself straight up to me here just as he chooses.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Sine eumpse adire huc. sine, si is est modo.
Astaphivm:
⟨Ipsus est⟩.
Phronesivm:
Sine eumpse adire, ut cupit, ad me.
Astaphivm:
Rectam tenet.

[¶132] If he does come, for very sure, i’ faith, I’ll do him to-day with some cunning tricks.
(They go into the house.) (PHRONESIUM and ASTAPHIUM appear before the door of the house. Enter STRATOPHANES.)
STRATOPHANES: (to himself.)
That I should love for this! I’m taking an atonement for my offences to my mistress! That that may be taken by her in kindly part which I’ve squandered before, I’ll add this as well.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Ne istum ecastor hodie aspiciam confectum fallaciis.
Stratophanes:
Ego minam auri fero supplicium † damnis ad amicam meam:
ut illud acceptum sit, prius quod perdidi, hoc addam insuper.

[¶133] But what’s this? I see the mistress and her maid before the house. I must accost her. (Addressing them.) What are you doing here?
PHRONESIUM:
Don’t speak to me.

> Latin: sed quid video? eram atque ancillam ante aedis. adeundae haec mihi.
quid hic vos agitis?
Phronesivm:
Ne me appella ⟨quaeso⟩.

[¶134] STRATOPHANES:
You are too angry.
(Pats her on the shoulder.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
⟨Aha⟩ nimium saeviter.

[¶135] PHRONESIUM:
Leave me alone. Can’t you possibly cease to be an annoyance to me?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Potine ut mihi molestus ne sis?

[¶136] STRATOPHANES:
What is the matter, my dear little Astaphium?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Ecquid, Astaphium, litiumst?

[¶137] ASTAPHIUM:
I’ faith, she’s angry with you with good reason.

> Latin: Astaphivm:
Merito ecastor tibi succenset.

[¶138] PHRONESIUM:
What, I? I’m not even half spiteful enough to. wards that fellow.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Egon, atque isti etiam parum
male volo.

[¶139] STRATOPHANES:
My love, if I have at all offended before,
I present you with this mina of gold. If you smile upon me, deign me a look.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Ego, mea voluptas, si quid peccavi prius,
supplicium ad te hanc mínam fero auri. si minus crédis, respice.

[¶140] PHRONESIUM:
My hand forbids me to believe anything, before it holds in its possession. We require food for the child; we require it for the dame as well, that bathes the child; we require it for the nurse, as well, that she may have a leather bottle full of old wine in ample style, that night and day she may tipple; we stand in need of fire; we want coals, too;
we want swathes, napkins, the cradle, the cradle-bed; oil we want; the child requires flour, for pap; all day we are wanting something; never, in the same one day, can our task be performed, but what there’s always need of something; for the children of officers cannot be reared upon medlars.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Manus vetat prius quám penes sese habeat quicquam credere.
puero opust cibo, opus est matri autem, ⟨opus est⟩ quae puerum lavit,
opus nutrici, lact ut habeat, veteris vini largiter
ut dies noctesque potet, ópust ligno, opust carbonibus,
fasciis opus est, pulvinis, cunis, incunabulis,
oleo ⟨opust⟩, opus est farina, porro opus est totum diem:
numquam hoc uno die efficiatur opus, quin opus semper siet;
non enim póssunt militares pueri † etauio exducier.

[¶141] STRATOPHANES:
Look upon me then. Take this (presenting the money), with which to satisfy these necessities.
PHRONESIUM: (taking it.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Respice ergo, áccipe hoc, qui ístuc efficias opus.

[¶142] Give it me, although it’s very little.
STRATOPHANES:
Whatever you shall order, shall be given at your demand. Give me a kiss now. (Tries to kiss her.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Cedo, quamquam parum est.
Stratophanes:
Addam etiam unam minam istuc post.
Phronesivm:
Parumst.
Stratophanes:
Tuo arbitratu quod iubebis dabitur. da nunc savium.

[¶143] PHRONESIUM:
Leave me alone, I say! You are a nuisance!

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Mitte me, inquam, odiosu's odiosus es.

[¶144] STRATOPHANES: (aside.)
It’s no use, I’m not loved by her; the day wears apace. More than ten pounds of silver have I lost in this short time by reason of my passion.
PHRONESIUM: (giving the money to ASTAPHIUM.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Nil fit, non amor, teritur dies.
plus decem pondo † moris pauxillisper perdidi.

[¶145] Take this, and carry it away in-doors. (ASTAPHIUM carries it in.) (Enter STRABAX, from the house.)
STRABAX: (to himself.)
Where in the world is my mistress?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Accipe hoc atque auferto intro.
Strabax:
Vbi mea amicast gentium?

[¶146] I get on with no business, either in the country or here, at this rate; I’m spoiling with mouldiness, I’m grown so dreadfully numbed with lying waiting here upon the couch. But look, I perceive her. Hallo! sweetheart, what are you about?
STRATOPHANES:
What fellow is that?

> Latin: neque ruri neque hic óperis quicquam facio, corrumpor situ,
ita miser cubando in lecto hic expectando obdurui.
sed eccam video. heús amica, quid agis? [mille].
Stratophanes:
Quis illic ⟨est⟩ homo?

[¶147] PHRONESIUM:
One that, upon my honor, I love far more than yourself.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quém ego ecastor mage amo quam te. …

[¶148] STRATOPHANES:
Than myself? In what way?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quam me? quo modo?

[¶149] PHRONESIUM:
Why, this way, that you are not to be troublesome to me. (Moves as if going.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Hoc modo, ut molestus ne sis.

[¶150] STRATOPHANES:
Are you going now, after you’ve got the gold?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Iam⟨ne⟩ abis, postquam aurum habes?

[¶151] PHRONESIUM:
What you’ve given me, I’ve put away in-doors.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Condidi intro quod dedisti.

[¶152] STRABAX:
Come here, sweetheart; I’ve got something to say to you.

> Latin: Strabax:
Ades, amica, te adloquor.

[¶153] PHRONESIUM:
Why, I was just coming to you.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
At ego ad te ibam, mea delicia.

[¶154] STRABAX:
To me, my charmer?
PHRONESIUM:
In serious truth, i’ faith.
STRABAX:
Although I seem a simpleton to you, I like myself to have a bit of recreation. For pretty though you are, you are so to your own loss, unless I amuse myself a bit with you.

> Latin: Strabax:
Hercle vero serio,
quamquam ego tibi videor stultus, gaudere aliqui me volo;
nam quamquam tu es bella, malo tuo, nisi ego aliqui gaudeo.

[¶155] PHRONESIUM:
Should you like me to embrace you and give you a kiss?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vin te amplectar, savium dem?

[¶156] STRABAX:
Do whatever you like, I’ll deem it agreable.
(She kisses him.)

> Latin: Strabax:
Quidvis face ⟨qui⟩ gaudeam.

[¶157] STRATOPHANES:
What, shall I suffer her to be embracing other men before my eyes? I’ faith,’twere better that I were dead. Woman, take your hands off of him, unless, perhaps, by this sword of mine, won from the enemy, you wish yourself and him to die.
(Flourishing his sword.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Meosne ante oculos ego illam patiar alios amplexarier?
mortuom hercle me hodie satiust. apstine hoc, mulier, manum,
nisi si te mea manu † ui in machaera et hunc vis mori.

[¶158] PHRONESIUM:
There’s no use in “badinage,” Captain. If you want yourself to be loved, with gold, Stratophanes, not with iron, may you prevent him from loving me.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Nil halapari satiust, miles, si te amari postulas;
auro, hau ferro deterrere potes, ⟨hunc⟩ né amem, Stratophanes.

[¶159] STRATOPHANES:
How, the plague, are you pretty or witty, to be fond of a fellow of that description?
PHRONESIUM: (aside, to STRATOPHANES.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Qui, malum, bella aut faceta es, quaé ames hominem isti modi?

[¶160] Don’t it come to your recollection what an actor once said upon the stage? “All people have an eye to their profit, and are not over delicate.”

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Venitne in méntem tibi quod verbum in cavea dixit histrio:
omnes homines ad suom quaestum callent et fastidiunt.

[¶161] STRATOPHANES:
That you could possibly caress this fellow, so dirty and foul!

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Huncine hominem te amplexari tam horridum ac tam squalidum?

[¶162] PHRONESIUM:
Although he is dirty, although he is foul, still, he’s pretty to me.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quamquam hic squalet, quam⟨quam⟩ hic horret, scitus ⟨et⟩ bellust mihi.

[¶163] STRATOPHANES:
Didn’t I give you some gold?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Dedin ego aurum—

[¶164] PHRONESIUM:
To me? You gave money for the child’s food.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Mihi? dedisti filio cibaria.

[¶165] STRABAX:
Now, if you hope to have her, another mina of gold is requisite.

> Latin: nunc, si hanc tecum esse speras, alia opust auri mina.

[¶166] STRATOPHANES:
A sore mishap upon these people, and a weighty one!
STRABAX:
By all means, keep that by way of provision for your own journey.

> Latin: Strabax:
Malam rem is et magnam magno opere, serva tibi viaticum.

[¶167] STRATOPHANES:
What does she owe you?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quid isti debes?
Phronesivm:
Tria.

[¶168] STRABAX:
Three things.
STRATOPHANES:
What, pray?
STRABAX:
Perfumes, her favours, and kisses.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quae tria nam?

[¶169] PHRONESIUM: (apart.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Vnguenta, noctem, savium.

[¶170] He answers him like for like. (To STRATOPHANES.) But now, at all events, if you do love me,
do you give me some little trifle from your most abundant treasures.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Par pari respondet. verum nunc saltem, ⟨et⟩si ⟨istunc⟩ amas,
dan tu mihi de tuis deliciis † sum quicquid pauxillulum?

[¶171] STRATOPHANES:
Do say, there’s a dear, what it is that I’m to give you; only say. If I have it left, you shall have it.
PHRONESIUM:
Mere kickshaws you’re talking about. Be off, be off.
(STRABAX kisses her.)
STRATOPHANES:
I’ve considered this over with myself. My good sir, take you care, will you, that she don’t inflict a wound upon you, whose teeth are made of iron.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Quid id, amabo, est quod dem? dic tum super feri†
†capas dicit auaui consultam istuc mihi homo†
cave faxis volnus tibi iam cui sunt dentes ferrei.

[¶172] She’s allowing access to her to all in common.
You take your hand off of her.
STRABAX: (striking him.)

> Latin: Strabax:
Volgo ad se omnis intromittit.
Stratophanes:
Abstine istac tu manum.

[¶173] Then, by my troth, do you take that, with a hearty punch, warlike man!

> Latin: Strabax:
Iam hercle cum magno ⟨malo⟩ tu vapula vir strenuos.

[¶174] STRATOPHANES:
I’ve given her gold.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Dedi ego huic aurum.

[¶175] STRABAX:
And I, silver.

> Latin: Strabax:
Át ego argentum.

[¶176] STRATOPHANES:
And I a mantle and a purple garment.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
†eat apale puram.

[¶177] STRABAX:
And I, sheep and wool; and many other things that she shall ask for I’ll give.’Twere better for you to contest it with me with minae than with menaces.

> Latin: Strabax:
At ego oves et lanam, et alia multa quae poscet dabo.
meliust te minis certare mecum quam minaciis.

[¶178] PHRONESIUM:
Upon my faith you are a funny mortal, my Strabax. Prithee, do proceed—
(Aside.) A fool and a madman are contending for their ruin; I’m all right.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Lepidu's lepidus es ecastor mortalis, mi Strabax, perge obsecro.
Astaphivm:
Stultus atque insanus damnis certant: nos salvae sumus.

[¶179] STRATOPHANES:
Come, younker, do you offer something first.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Age prior prompta aliquid.

[¶180] STRABAX:
Why no; do you squander first, and come to ruin.
STRATOPHANES: (to PHRONESIUM.)

> Latin: Strabax:
Immo tu prior perde et peri.

[¶181] Well, here’s a talent of silver for you. It’s in Philippean coins. Take it for yourself.
PHRONESIUM: (taking the money.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Em tibi talentum argenti. †Philippices est, tene tibi.

[¶182] So much the better. Be one of our family, but live at your own expense.
STRATOPHANES: (to STRABAX.)

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Tanto melior, noster esto—sed de vostro vivito.

[¶183] Where is that which you are going to give? Open your purse-strings.
PHRONESIUM:
That’s a challenge.
STRATOPHANES: (to STRABAX.)
What are you afraid of?

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Vbi est quod tu das? solve zonam, provocator. quid times?

[¶184] STRABAX:
You are from abroad. I live here (points to his FATHER’S house). I am afraid.
STRATOPHANES:
I am not. Walk off, then.

> Latin: Strabax:
Tu peregrinu's peregrinus es, hic ⟨ego⟩ habito: non cum zona ego ambulo:

[¶185] STRABAX:
I’m bringing her some sheep fastened in a purse to my neck.

> Latin: pecua ad hanc collo in crumina ego obligata defero.

[¶186] STRATOPHANES:
Because I gave that, how I did flounder the fellow.
STRABAX:
Why no, indeed, it’s I, who am going to give.
PHRONESIUM: (to STRATOPHANES.)

> Latin: quid dedi! ut discinxi hominem.
Strabax:
Immo ego vero, qui dedi.

[¶187] Come in-doors now, prithee, and (to STRABAX) do you then stay with me here.
STRATOPHANES:
You will give me your company then?
STRABAX: (to PHRONESIUM.)
What say you?
PHRONESIUM:
What?

> Latin: Phronesivm:
I intro, amabo, i, tú eris mecum; ⟨tum⟩ tu eris mecum quidem.

[¶188] STRABAX:
What do you say? What, with this fellow? Am I to be postponed?
STRATOPHANES:
I have made my present.
PHRONESIUM: (to STRATOPHANES.)

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Quid tu? quid ais? cum hocin ⟨eris⟩? ego ⟨ero⟩ posterior, ⟨qui⟩ dedi?

[¶189] You have given; (pointing to STRABAX) he’s going to give just now; the one I’ve got, the other I expect. But each of the two shall be indulged to his heart’s content.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Tu dedisti iam, ⟨hic⟩ daturust: ictuc habeo, hoc expeto.
verum utrique mos geratur amborum ex sententia.

[¶190] STRABAX:
So be it. As I see the matter stands, that must be taken that’s offered.

> Latin: Stratophanes:
Fiat. ut rem gnatam video, hoc accipiundumst quod datur.

[¶191] STRATOPHANES:
Indeed, I shall assuredly not be letting you take possession of my couch.
PHRONESIUM: (aside.)

> Latin: Strabax:
Meum quidem te lectum certe óccupare non sinam.

[¶192] I’ faith, I’ve cleverly netted them, and quite to my satisfaction.
(To the AUDIENCE.) And as I see my affairs successfully managed, yours likewise would I successfully manage. I’ll caress you in reality. If you are disposed to be doing anything, take care, will you, and let me know at once. For the sake of Venus, applaud; this Play is in her honor. Spectators, kindly farewell; grant applause, and then rise up.

> Latin: Phronesivm:
Lepide ecastor aucupavi atque ex mea sententia,
meamque ut rem video bene gestam, vostram rursum bene geram:
†romabo si quis animatust facere, faciat ut sciam.
Veneris causa adplaudite: eius haec in tutelast fabula.
spectatores, bene valete, plaudite atque exurgite.