30. The women of Egypt, by inherited custom, were not allowed to wear shoes, so that they should stay at home all day; and most women, if you take from them gold-embroidered shoes, bracelets, anklets, purple, and pearls, stay indoors.
30. τῶν δὲ πλείστων γυναικῶν ἂν ὑποδήματα διάχρυσα περιέλῃς καὶ ψέλλια καὶ περισκελίδας καὶ πορφύραν καὶ μαργαρίτας, ἔνδον μένουσιν.
31. Theano, in putting her cloak about her exposed her arm. Somebody exclaimed, “A lovely arm.” “But not for the public,” said she. Not only the arm of the virtuous woman, but her speech as well, ought to be not for the public, and she ought to be modest and guarded about saying anything in the hearing of outsiders, since it is an exposure of herself; for in her talk can be seen her feelings, character, and disposition.
31. ἡ Θεανὼ παρέφηνε τὴν χεῖρα περιβαλλομένη τὸ ἱμάτιον. εἰπόντος δέ τινος καλὸς ὁ πῆχυς, ἀλλʼ οὐ δημόσιος ἔφη. δεῖ δὲ μὴ μόνον τὸν πῆχυν ἀλλὰ μηδὲ τὸν λόγον δημόσιον εἶναι τῆς σώφρονος, καὶ τὴν φωνὴν ὡς ἀπογύμνωσιν αἰδεῖσθαι καὶ φυλάσσεσθαι πρὸς τοὺς ἐκτός· ἐνορᾶται γὰρ αὐτῇ καὶ πάθος καὶ ἦθος καὶ διάθεσις λαλούσης.
32. Pheidias made the Aphrodite of the Eleans with one foot on a tortoise, to typify for womankind keeping at home and keeping silence. For a woman ought to do her talking either to her husband or through her husband, and she should not feel aggrieved if, like the flute-player, she makes a more impressive sound through a tongue not her own.
32. τὴν Ἠλείων ὁ Φειδίας Ἀφροδίτην ἐποίησε χελώνην πατοῦσαν, οἰκουρίας σύμβολον ταῖς γυναιξὶ καὶ σιωπῆς. δεῖ γὰρ ἢ πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα λαλεῖν ἢ διὰ τοῦ ἀνδρός, μὴ δυσχεραίνουσαν εἰ διʼ ἀλλοτρίας γλώσσης ὥσπερ αὐλητὴς φθέγγεται σεμνότερον.
33. Rich men and princes by conferring honours on philosophers adorn both themselves and the philosophers; but, on the other hand, philosophers by paying court to the rich do not enhance the repute of the rich but lower their own. So is it with women also; if they subordinate themselves to their husbands, they are commended, but if they want to have control, they cut a sorrier figure than the subjects of their control. And control ought to be exercised by the man over the woman, not as the owner has control of a piece of property, but, as the soul controls the body, by entering into her feelings and being knit to her through goodwill. As, therefore, it is possible to exercise care over the body without being a slave to its pleasures and desires, so it is possible to govern a wife, and at the same time to delight and gratify her.
33. οἱ πλούσιοι καὶ οἱ βασιλεῖς τιμῶντες τοὺς φιλοσόφους αὑτούς τε, κοσμοῦσι κἀκείνους, οἱ δὲ φιλόσοφοι τοὺς πλουσίους θεραπεύοντες οὐκ ἐκείνους ποιοῦσιν ἐνδόξους ἀλλʼ αὑτοὺς ἀδοξοτέρους. τοῦτο συμβαίνει καὶ περὶ τὰς γυναῖκας. ὑποτάττουσαι μὲν γὰρ ἑαυτὰς τοῖς ἀνδράσιν ἐπαινοῦνται, κρατεῖν δὲ βουλόμεναι μᾶλλον τῶν κρατουμένων ἀσχημονοῦσι. κρατεῖν δὲ τὸν ἄνδρα τῆς γυναικὸς οὐχ ὡς δεσπότην κτήματος ἀλλʼ ὡς ψυχὴν σώματος, συμπαθοῦντα καὶ συμπεφυκότα τῇ εὐνοίᾳ δίκαιόν ἐστιν. ὥσπερ οὖν σώματος ἔστι κήδεσθαι μὴ δουλεύοντα ταῖς ἡδοναῖς αὐτοῦ καὶ ταῖς ἐπιθυμίαις, οὕτω γυναικὸς ἄρχειν εὐφραίνοντα καὶ χαριζόμενον.
34. Philosophers say of bodies that some are composed of separate elements, as a fleet or an army, others of elements joined together, as a house or a ship, and still others form together an intimate union, as is the case with every living creature. In about the same way, the marriage of a couple in love with each other is an intimate union; that of those who marry for dowry or children is of persons joined together: and that of those who merely sleep in the same bed is of separate persons who may be regarded as cohabiting, but not really living together. As the mixing of liquids, according to what men of science say, extends throughout their entire content, so also in the case of married people there ought to be a mutual amalgamation of their bodies, property, friends, and relations. In fact, the purpose of the Roman law-giver who prohibited the giving and receiving of presents between man and wife was, not to prevent their sharing in anything, but that they should feel that they shared all things in common.
34. τῶν σωμάτων οἱ φιλόσοφοι τὰ μὲν ἐκ διεστώτων λέγουσιν εἶναι καθάπερ στόλον καὶ στρατόπεδον, τὰ δʼ ἐκ συναπτομένων ὡς οἰκίαν καὶ ναῦν, τὰ δʼ ἡνωμένα καὶ συμφυᾶ καθάπερ ἐστὶ τῶν ζῴων ἕκαστον. σχεδὸν οὖν καὶ γάμος ὁ μὲν τῶν ἐρώντων ἡνωμένος καὶ συμφυής ἐστιν, ὁ δὲ τῶν διὰ προῖκας ἢ τέκνα γαμούντων ἐκ συναπτομένων, ὁ δὲ τῶν οὐ συγκαθευδόντων ἐκ διεστώτων, οὓς συνοικεῖν ἄν τις ἀλλήλοις οὐ συμβιοῦν νομίσειε. δεῖ δέ, ὥσπερ οἱ φυσικοὶ τῶν ὑγρῶν λέγουσι διʼ ὅλων γενέσθαι τὴν κρᾶσιν, οὕτω τῶν γαμούντων καὶ σώματα καὶ χρήματα καὶ φίλους καὶ οἰκείους ἀναμιχθῆναι διʼ ἀλλήλων. καὶ γὰρ ὁ Ῥωμαῖος νομοθέτης ἐκώλυσε δῶρα διδόναι καὶ λαμβάνειν παρʼ ἀλλήλων τοὺς γεγαμηκότας, οὐχ ἵνα μηδενὸς μεταλαμβάνωσιν, ἀλλʼ ἵνα πάντα κοινὰ νομίζωσιν, ἐν Λέπτει τῆς Λιβύης πόλει πάτριόν ἐστι τῇ μετὰ τὸν γάμον ἡμέρᾳ τὴν νύμφην πρὸς τὴν τοῦ νυμφίου μητέρα πέμψασαν αἰτεῖσθαι χύτραν·
35. In Leptis, a city of Africa, it is an inherited custom for the bride, on the day after her marriage, to send to the mother of the bridegroom and ask for a pot. The latter does not give it, and also declares that she has none, her purpose being that the bride may from the outset realize the stepmother’s attitude in her mother-in-law, and, in the event of some harsher incident later on, may not feel indignant or resentful. A wife ought to take cognizance of this hostility, and try to cure the cause of it, which is the mother’s jealousy of the bride as the object of her son’s affection. The one way to cure this trouble is to create an affection for herself personally on the part of her husband, and at the same time not to divert or lessen his affection for his mother.
35. ἡ δʼ οὐ δίδωσιν οὐδέ φησιν ἔχειν, ὅπως ἀπʼ ἀρχῆς ἐπισταμένη τὸ τῆς ἑκυρᾶς μητρυιῶδες, ἂν ὕστερόν τι συμβαίνῃ τραχύτερον, μὴ ἀγανακτῇ μηδὲ δυσκολαίνῃ. τοῦτο δεῖ γιγνώσκουσαν τὴν γυναῖκα θεραπεύειν τὴν πρόφασιν· ἔστι δὲ ζηλοτυπία τῆς μητρὸς ὑπὲρ εὐνοίας πρὸς αὐτήν. θεραπεία δὲ μία τοῦ πάθους ἰδίᾳ μὲν εὔνοιαν τῷ ἀνδρὶ ποιεῖν πρὸς ἑαυτήν, τὴν δὲ τῆς μητρὸς μὴ περισπᾶν μηδʼ ἐλαττοῦν.
36. Mothers appear to have a greater love for their sons because of a feeling that their sons are able to help them, and fathers for their daughters because of a feeling that the daughters have need of their help. Perhaps, also, because of the honour accorded by man and wife to each other, the one wishes openly to show that he feels greater esteem and affection for the attributes which are more characteristic of the other. And herein there may perhaps be a divergence, but, on the other hand, it is a nice thing if the wife, in the deference she shows, is observed to incline rather toward her husband’s parents than her own, and, if she is distressed over anything, to refer it to them without the knowledge of her own parents. For seeming confidence begets confidence, and love, love.
36. τοὺς υἱοὺς δοκοῦσι μᾶλλον ἀγαπᾶν αἱ μητέρες ὡς δυναμένους αὐταῖς βοηθεῖν, οἱ δὲ πατέρες τὰς θυγατέρας ὡς δεομένας αὐτῶν βοηθούντων ἴσως δὲ καὶ τιμῇ τῇ πρὸς ἀλλήλους ὁ ἕτερος τὸ μᾶλλον οἰκεῖον τῷ ἑτέρῳ βούλεται μᾶλλον ἀσπαζόμενος καὶ ἀγαπῶν φανερὸς εἶναι. καὶ τοῦτο μὲν ἴσως ἀδιάφορόν ἐστιν, ἐκεῖνο δʼ ἀστεῖον, ἂν ἡ γυνὴ μᾶλλον ἀποκλίνασα τῇ τιμῇ πρὸς τοὺς γονεῖς τοῦ ἀνδρὸς ἢ τοὺς ἑαυτῆς βλέπηται, κἄν τι λυπῆται, πρὸς ἐκείνους ἀναφέρουσα, τοὺς δʼ ἑαυτῆς λανθάνουσα. ποιεῖ γὰρ τὸ πιστεύειν δοκεῖν πιστεύεσθαι, καὶ τὸ φιλεῖν φιλεῖσθαι.
37. The generals issued orders to the Greeks in Cyrus’s army, that if the enemy advanced shouting they should receive them with silence, but, on the other hand, if the enemy kept silent, they should charge against them with a shout. Women who have sense keep quiet while their husbands in their fits of anger vociferate, but when their husbands are silent they talk to them and mollify them by words of comfort.
37. τοῖς περὶ τὸν Κῦρον Ἕλλησι παρήγγειλαν οἱ στρατηγοὶ τοὺς πολεμίους, ἂν μὲν βοῶντες ἐπίωσι, δέχεσθαι μετὰ σιωπῆς, ἂν δʼ ἐκεῖνοι σιωπῶσιν αὐτοὺς μετὰ βοῆς ἀντεξελαύνειν. αἱ δὲ νοῦν ἔχουσαι γυναῖκες ἐν ταῖς ὀργαῖς τῶν ἀνδρῶν κεκραγότων μὲν ἡσυχάζουσι, σιωπῶντας δὲ προσλαλοῦσαι καὶ παραμυθούμεναι καταπραΰνουσιν.
38. Euripides is right in censuring those who employ the lyre as an accompaniment to wine. For music ought rather to be invoked on occasions of anger and grief rather than to be made an added attraction for those who are engaged in their pleasures. So you two must regard those persons in error who for the sake of pleasure occupy the same bed, but when they get into some angry disagreement repose apart; they ought, instead, at that time especially to invoke Aphrodite, who is the best physician for such disorders. Such no doubt is the teaching of the poet when he represents Hera as saying, “I will settle their uncomposed quarrels, Sending them back to their bed to a union of loving enjoyment.”
38. ὀρθῶς ὁ Εὐριπίδης αἰτιᾶται τοὺς τῇ λύρᾳ χρωμένους παρʼ οἶνον· ἔδει γὰρ ἐπὶ τὰς ὀργὰς καὶ τὰ πένθη μᾶλλον τὴν μουσικὴν παρακαλεῖν ἢ προσεκλύειν τοὺς ἐν ταῖς ἡδοναῖς ὄντας. νομίζετε οὖν ὑμεῖς ἁμαρτάνειν τοὺς ἡδονῆς ἕνεκα συγκαθεύδοντας ἀλλήλοις ὅταν δʼ ἐν ὀργῇ τινι γένωνται καὶ διαφορᾷ, χωρὶς ἀναπαυομένους καὶ μὴ τότε μάλιστα τὴν Ἀφροδίτην παρακαλοῦντας, ἰατρὸν οὖσαν τῶν τοιούτων ἀρίστην. ὥς που καὶ ὁ ποιητὴς διδάσκει, τὴν Ἥραν ποιῶν λέγουσανκαὶ σφʼ ἄκριτα νείκεα λύσωεἰς εὐνὴν ἀνέσασα ὁμωθῆναι φιλότητι ἀεὶ μὲν δεῖ καὶ πανταχοῦ φεύγειν τὸ προσκρούειν τῷ ἀνδρὶ τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ τῇ γυναικὶ τὸν ἄνδρα, μάλιστα δὲ φυλάττεσθαι τοῦτο ποιεῖν ἐν τῷ συναναπαύεσθαι καὶ συγκαθεύδειν.
39. At all times and in all places a wife ought to try to avoid any clash with her husband, and a husband with his wife, but they ought to be especially on their guard against doing this in the privacy of their bedchamber. The woman in travail and pain kept saying to those who were trying to make her go to bed, “How can the bed cure this ailment which I contracted in bed?” But the disagreements, recriminations, and angry passions which the bed generates are not easily settled in another place and at another time.
39. ἡ μὲν γὰρ ὠδίνουσα καὶ δυσφοροῦσα πρὸς τοὺς κατακλίνοντας αὐτὴν ἔλεγε πῶς δʼ ἂν ἡ κλίνη ταῦτα θεραπεύσειεν οἷς ἐπὶ τῆς κλίνης περιέπεσον; ἃς δʼ ἡ κλίνη γεννᾷ διαφορὰς καὶ λοιδορίας καὶ ὀργάς, οὐ ῥᾴδιόν ἐστιν ἐν ἄλλῳ τόπῳ καὶ χρόνῳ διαλυθῆναι.
40. Hermione seems to speak the truth when she says, “Bad women’s visits brought about my fall.” This, however, does not come about so simply, but only when marital disagreements and jealousies open not only a wife’s doors but also her hearing to such women. So, at such a time especially, a woman who has sense ought to stop her ears, and be on her guard against whispered insinuations, so that fire may not be added to fire, and she ought to have ready in mind the saying of Philip. For it is told that when he was being incited by his friends against the Greeks on the ground that they were being well treated, but were speaking ill of him, he said, “What would happen, then, if we were to treat them ill?” So when these back-biters say, “Your husband treats grievously his loving and virtuous wife.” “Yes, what would happen, then, if I were to begin to hate him and wrong him?”
40. ἡ Ἑρμιόνη δοκεῖ τι λέγειν ἀληθὲς λέγουσακακῶν γυναικῶν εἴσοδοί μʼ ἀπώλεσαντοῦτο δʼ οὐχ ἁπλῶς γιγνόμενόν ἐστιν, ἀλλʼ ὅταν αἱ πρὸς τοὺς ἄνδρας διαφοραὶ καὶ ζηλοτυπίαι ταῖς τοιαύταις γυναιξὶ μὴ τὰς θύρας μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ τὰς ἀκοὰς ἀνοίγωσι τότʼ οὖν δεῖ μάλιστα τὴν νοῦν ἔχουσαν ἀποκλείειν τὰ ὦτα καὶ φυλάττεσθαι τὸν ψιθυρισμόν, ἵνα πῦρ ἐπὶ πῦρ γένηται, καὶ πρόχειρον ἔχειν τὸ τοῦ Φιλίππου. λέγεται γὰρ ἐκεῖνος ὑπὸ τῶν φίλων παροξυνόμενος ἐπὶ τοὺς Ἕλληνας ὡς εὖ πάσχοντας καὶ κακῶς αὐτὸν λέγοντας εἰπεῖν τί οὖν, ἂν καὶ κακῶς ποιῶμεν αὐτούς; ὅταν οὖν αἱ διαβάλλουσαι λέγωσιν ὅτι λυπεῖ σε φιλοῦσαν ὁ ἀνὴρ καὶ σωφρονοῦσαν, τί οὖν, ἂν φαίης, ἂν καὶ μισεῖν αὐτὸν ἄρξωμαι καὶ ἀδικεῖν;
41. A man whose slave had run away, on catching sight of the fugitive some time later, ran after him; but when the slave got ahead of him by taking refuge in a treadmill, the master said, “Where else could I have wished to find you rather than here?” So then let the woman who, on account of jealousy, is entering a writ of divorce, and is in a high dudgeon, say to herself, “Where else would my rival like better to see me, what would she rather have me do, than feel aggrieved with my husband and quarrel with him and abandon my very home and chamber?”
41. ὁ τὸν δραπέτην ἰδὼν διὰ χρόνου καὶ διώκων, ὡς κατέφυγε φθάσας εἰς μυλῶνα, ποῦ δʼ ἂν ἔφη σὲ μᾶλλον εὑρεῖν ἐβουλήθην ἢ ἐνταῦθα; γυνὴ τοίνυν διὰ ζηλοτυπίαν ἀπόλειψιν γράφουσα καὶ χαλεπῶς ἔχουσα λεγέτω πρὸς ἑαυτὴν ποῦ δʼ ἂν ἡ ζηλοῦσά με μᾶλλον ἡσθείη θεασαμένη καὶ τί ποιοῦσαν ἢ λυπουμένην καὶ στασιάζουσαν πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ τὸν οἶκον αὐτὸν καὶ τὸν θάλαμον προϊεμένην;
42. The Athenians observe three sacred ploughings: the first at Scirum in commemoration of the most ancient of sowings; the second in Raria, and the third near the base of the Acropolis, the so-called Buzygius (the ox-yoking). But most sacred of all such sowings is the marital sowing and ploughing for the procreation of children. It is a beautiful epithet which Sophocles applied to Aphrodite when he called her “bountiful-bearing Cytherea.” Therefore man and wife ought especially to indulge in this with circumspection, keeping themselves pure from all unholy and unlawful intercourse with others, and not sowing seed from which they are unwilling to have any offspring, and from which if any issue does result, they are ashamed of it, and try to conceal it.
42. Ἀθηναῖοι τρεῖς ἀρότους ἱεροὺς ἄγουσι, πρῶτον ἐπὶ Σκίρῳ, τοῦ παλαιοτάτου τῶν σπόρων ὑπόμνημα, δεύτερον ἐν τῇ Ρ̓αρίᾳ, τρίτον ὑπὸ πόλιν τὸν καλούμενον Βουζύγιον. τούτων δὲ πάντων ἱερώτατός ἐστιν ὁ γαμήλιος σπόρος καὶ ἄροτος ἐπὶ παίδων τεκνώσει. καλῶς τὴν Ἀφροδίτην ὁ Σοφοκλῆς εὔκαρπον Κυθέρειαν προσηγόρευσε. διὸ δεῖ μάλιστα τούτῳ χρῆσθαι μετʼ εὐλαβείας τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα, τῶν ἀνιέρων καὶ παρανόμων πρὸς ἑτέρους ἁγνεύοντας ὁμιλιῶν, καὶ μὴ σπείροντας ἐξ ὧν οὐδὲν αὐτοῖς φύεσθαι θέλουσιν ἀλλὰ κἂν γένηται καρπὸς αἰσχύνονται καὶ ἀποκρύπτουσι.
43. When the orator Gorgias read to the Greeks at Olympia a speech about concord, Melanthius said, “This fellow is giving us advice about concord, and yet in his own household he has not prevailed upon himself, his wife, and maidservant, three persons only, to live in concord.” For there was, apparently, some love on Gorgias’s part and jealousy on the wife’s part towards the girl. A man therefore ought to have his household well harmonized who is going to harmonize State, Forum, and friends. For it is much more likely that the sins of women rather than sins against women will go unnoticed by most people.
43. Γοργίου τοῦ ῥήτορος ἀναγνόντος ἐν Ὀλυμπίᾳ λόγον περὶ ὁμονοίας τοῖς Ἕλλησιν ὁ Μελάνθιος οὗτος ἡμῖν ἔφη συμβουλεύει περὶ ὁμονοίας, ὃς αὑτὸν καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ τὴν θεράπαιναν ἰδίᾳ τρεῖς ὄντας ὁμονοεῖν οὐ πέπεικεν ἦν γὰρ ὡς ἔοικέ τις ἔρως τοῦ Γοργίου καὶ ζηλοτυπία τῆς γυναικὸς πρὸς τὸ θεραπαινίδιον. εὖ τοίνυν ἡρμοσμένον τὸν οἶκον εἶναι δεῖ τῷ μέλλοντι ἁρμόζεσθαι πόλιν καὶ ἀγορὰν καὶ φίλους· μᾶλλον γὰρ ἔοικε τὰ τῶν γυναικῶν ἢ τὰ πρὸς γυναῖκας ἁμαρτήματα λανθάνειν τοὺς πολλούς.
44. They say that the cat is excited to frenzy by the odour of perfumes. Now if it happened that women were similarly made furious and frantic by perfumes, it would be a dreadful thing for their husbands not to abstain from perfume, but for the sake of their own brief pleasure to permit their wives to suffer in this way. Now inasmuch as women are affected in this way, not by their husbands’ using perfume, but by their having connexion with other women, it is unfair to pain and disturb them so much for the sake of a trivial pleasure, and not to follow with wives the practice observed in approaching bees (because these insects are thought to be irritable and bellicose towards men who have been with women) —to be pure and clean from all connexion with others when they approach their wives.
44. εἰ καθάπερ τὸν αἴλουρον ὀσμῇ μύρων ἐκταράττεσθαι καὶ μαίνεσθαι λέγουσιν, οὕτω τὰς γυναῖκας ἀγριαίνειν καὶ παραφρονεῖν ὑπὸ μύρων συνέβαινε, δεινὸν ἦν μὴ ἀπέχεσθαι μύρου τοὺς ἄνδρας, ἀλλὰ διʼ ἡδονὴν αὑτῶν βραχεῖαν οὕτω κακουμένας περιορᾶν. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν ταῦτα πάσχουσιν οὐ μυριζομένων τῶν ἀνδρῶν ἀλλὰ συγγιγνομένων ἑτέραις, ἄδικόν ἐστιν ἡδονῆς ἕνεκα μικρᾶς ἐπὶ τοσοῦτο λυπεῖν καὶ συνταράττειν τὰς γυναῖκας καὶ μή, καθάπερ ταῖς μελίτταις ὅτι δοκοῦσι δυσχεραίνειν καὶ μάχεσθαι τοῖς μετὰ γυναικῶν γενομένοις, ἁγνοὺς καὶ καθαρεύοντας ἑτέρων συνουσίας προσιέναι ταῖς γυναιξίν.
45. Those who have to go near elephants do not put on bright clothes, nor do those who go near bulls put on red; for the animals are made especially furious by these colours; and tigers, they say, when surrounded by the noise of beaten drums go completely mad and tear themselves to pieces. Since, then, this is also the case with men, that some cannot well endure the sight of scarlet and purple clothes, while others are annoyed by cymbals and drums, what terrible hardship is it for women to refrain from such things, and not disquiet or irritate their husbands, but live with them in constant gentleness?
45. οἱ προσιόντες ἐλέφασιν ἐσθῆτα λαμπρὰν οὐ λαμβάνουσιν, οὐδὲ φοινικίδας οἱ ταύροις· διαγριαίνεται γὰρ ὑπὸ τῶν χρωμάτων τούτων μάλιστα τὰ ζῷα· τὰς δὲ τίγρεις φασὶ περιτυμπανιζομένας ἐκμαίνεσθαι παντάπασι καὶ διασπᾶν ἑαυτάς. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν καὶ τῶν ἀνδρῶν οἱ μὲν ἐσθῆτας κοκκίνας; καὶ πορφυρᾶς ὁρῶντες δυσανασχετοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ κυμβάλοις καὶ τυμπάνοις ἄχθονται, τί δεινὸν ἀπέχεσθαι τούτων τὰς γυναῖκας καὶ μὴ ταράττειν μηδὲ παροξύνειν τοὺς ἄνδρας, ἀλλὰ συνεῖναι μετʼ εὐσταθείας καὶ πραότητος;
46. A woman once said to Philip, who was trying to force her to come to him against her will, “Let me go. All women are the same when the lights are out.” This is well said as an answer to adulterous and licentious men, but the wedded wife ought especially when the light is out not to be the same as ordinary women, but, when her body is invisible, her virtue, her exclusive devotion to her husband, her constancy, and her affection, ought to be most in evidence.
46. γυνή τις πρὸς τὸν Φίλιππον ἄκουσαν ἐφελκόμενον αὐτὴν ἄφες μʼ εἶπε· πᾶσα γυνὴ τοῦ λύχνου ἀρθέντος ἡ αὐτή ἐστι. τοῦτο πρὸς τοὺς μοιχικοὺς καὶ ἀκολάστους εἴρηται καλῶς, τὴν δὲ γαμετὴν δεῖ μάλιστα τοῦ φωτὸς ἀρθέντος εἶναι μὴ τὴν αὐτὴν ταῖς τυχούσαις γυναιξίν, ἀλλὰ φαίνεσθαι τοῦ σώματος μὴ βλεπομένου τὸ σῶφρον αὐτῆς καὶ ἴδιον τῷ ἀνδρὶ καὶ τεταγμένον καὶ φιλόστοργον.
47. Plato used to advise the elderly men more especially to have the sense of shame before the young, so that the young may be respectful toward them; for where the old men are without sense of shame, he felt, no respect or deference is engendered in the young. The husband ought to bear this in mind, and show no greater respect for anybody than for his wife, seeing that their chamber is bound to be for her a school of orderly behaviour or of wantonness. The man who enjoys the very pleasures from which he tries to dissuade his wife is in no wise different from him who bids her fight to the death against the enemies to whom he has himself surrendered.
47. ὁ Πλάτων τοῖς πρεσβύταις μᾶλλον παρῄνει αἰσχύνεσθαι τοὺς νέους, ἵνα κἀκεῖνοι πρὸς αὐτοὺς αἰδημόνως ἔχωσιν· ὅπου γὰρ ἀναισχυντοῦσι γέροντες, οὐδεμίαν αἰδῶ τοῖς νέοις οὐδʼ εὐλάβειαν ἐγγίγνεσθαι. τούτου δεῖ μεμνημένον τὸν ἄνδρα μηδένα μᾶλλον αἰδεῖσθαι τῆς γυναικός, ὡς τὸν θάλαμον αὐτῇ διδασκαλεῖον εὐταξίας ἢ ἀκολασίας γενησόμενον. ὁ δὲ τῶν αὐτῶν ἡδονῶν αὐτὸς μὲν ἀπολαύων ἐκείνην δʼ ἀποτρέπων οὐδὲν διαφέρει τοῦ κελεύοντος διαμάχεσθαι τὴν γυναῖκα πρὸς τοὺς πολεμίους, οἷς αὐτὸς ἑαυτὸν παρέδωκε.
48. In regard to love of finery, I beg, Eurydice, that you will read and try to remember what was written to Aristylla by Timoxena; and as for you, Pollianus, you must not think that your wife will refrain from immoderate display and extravagance if she sees that you do not despise these things in others, but, on the contrary, find delight in gilded drinking-cups, pictured walls, trappings for mules, and showy neckbands for horses. For it is impossible to expel extravagance from the wife’s part of the house when it has free range amid the men’s rooms. Besides, Pollianus, you already possess sufficient maturity to study philosophy, and I beg that you will beautify your character with the aid of discourses which are attended by logical demonstration and mature deliberation, seeking the company and instruction of teachers who will help you. And for your wife you must collect from every source what is useful, as do the bees, and carrying it within your own self impart it to her, and then discuss it with her, and make the best of these doctrines her favourite and familiar themes. For to her “Thou art a father and precious-loved mother, Yea, and a brother as well.” No less ennobling is it for a man to hear his wife say, “My dear husband, “Nay, but thou art to me ” guide, philosopher, and teacher in all that is most lovely and divine.” Studies of this sort, in the first place, divert women from all untoward conduct; for a woman studying geometry will be ashamed to be a dancer, and she will not swallow any beliefs in magic charms while she is under the charm of Plato’s or Xenophon’s words. And if anybody professes power to pull down the moon from the sky, she will laugh at the ignorance and stupidity of women who believe these things, inasmuch as she herself is not unschooled in astronomy, and has read in the books about Aglaonice, the daughter of Hegetor of Thessaly, and how she, through being thoroughly acquainted with the periods of the full moon when it is subject to eclipse, and, knowing beforehand the time when the moon was due to be overtaken by the earth’s shadow, imposed upon the women, and made them all believe that she was drawing down the moon. It is said that no woman ever produced a child without the co-operation of a man, yet there are misshapen, fleshlike, uterine growths originating in some infection, which develop of themselves and acquire firmness and solidity, and are commonly called “moles.” Great care must be taken that this sort of thing does not take place in women’s minds. For if they do not receive the seed of good doctrines and share with their husbands in intellectual advance ment, they, left to themselves, conceive many untoward ideas and low designs and emotions. And as for you, Eurydice, I beg that you will try to be conversant with the sayings of the wise and good, and always have at your tongue’s end those sentiments which you used to cull in your girlhood’s days when you were with us, so that you may give joy to your husband, and may be admired by other women, adorned, as you will be, without price, with rare and precious jewels. For you cannot acquire and put upon you this rich woman’s pearls or that foreign woman’s silks without buying them at a high price, but the ornaments of Theano, Cleobulina, Gorgo, the wife of Leonidas, Timocleia, the sister of Theagenes, Claudia of old, Cornelia, daughter of Scipio, and of all other women who have been admired and renowned, you may wear about you without price, and, adorning yourself with these, you may live a life of distinction and happiness. If Sappho thought that her beautiful compositions in verse justified her in writing, in the L.C.L. i. p. 69. to a certain rich woman, “Dead in the tomb shalt thou lie, Nor shall there be thought of thee there, For in the roses of Pierian fields Thou hast no share,” why shall it not be even more allowable for you to entertain high and splendid thoughts of yourself, if you have a share not only in the roses but also in the fruits which the Muses bring and graciously bestow upon those who admire education and philosophy?
48. περὶ δὲ φιλοκοσμίας σὺ μέν, ὦ Εὐρυδίκη, τὰ πρὸς Ἀρίστυλλαν ὑπὸ Τιμοξένας γεγραμμένα ἀναγνοῦσα πειρῶ διαμνημονεύειν σὺ δέ, ὦ Πολλιανέ, μὴ νόμιζε περιεργίας ἀφέξεσθαι τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ πολυτελείας, ἂν ὁρᾷ σε μὴ καταφρονοῦντα τούτων ἐν ἑτέροις, ἀλλὰ καὶ χαίροντα χρυσώσεσιν ἐκπωμάτων καὶ γραφαῖς οἰκηματίων καὶ χλίδωσιν ἡμιόνων καὶ ἵππων περιδεραίοις. οὐ γὰρ ἔστιν ἐξελάσαι τῆς γυναικωνίτιδος ἐν μέσῃ τῇ ἀνδρωνίτιδι τὴν πολυτέλειαν ἀναστρεφομένην. καὶ σὺ μὲν ὥραν ἔχων ἤδη φιλοσοφεῖν τοῖς μετʼ ἀποδείξεως καὶ κατασκευῆς λεγομένοις ἐπικόσμει τὸ ἦθος, ἐντυγχάνων καὶ πλησιάζων τοῖς ὠφελοῦσι· τῇ γυναικὶ πανταχόθεν τὸ χρήσιμον συνάγων ὥσπερ αἱ μέλιτται καὶ φέρων αὐτὸς ἐν σεαυτῷ μεταδίδου καὶ προσδιαλέγου, φίλους αὐτῇ ποιῶν καὶ συνήθεις τῶν λόγων τοὺς ἀρίστους. πατὴρ μὲν γάρ ἐσσι αὐτῇ καὶ πότνια μήτηρ ἠδὲ κασίγνητος οὐχ ἧττον σεμνὸν ἀκοῦσαι γαμετῆς λεγούσης ἄνερ, ἀτὰρ σὺ μοί ἐσσι καθηγητὴς καὶ φιλόσοφος καὶ διδάσκαλος τῶν καλλίστων καὶ θειοτάτων, τὰ τοιαῦτα μαθήματα πρῶτον ἀφίστησι τῶν ἀτόπων τὰς γυναῖκας· αἰσχυνθήσεται γὰρ ὀρχεῖσθαι γυνὴ γεωμετρεῖν μανθάνουσα, καὶ φαρμάκων ἐπῳδὰς οὐ προσδέξεται τοῖς Πλάτωνος ἐπᾳδομένη λόγοις καὶ τοῖς Ξενοφῶντος. ἂν δέ τις ἐπαγγέλληται καθαιρεῖν τὴν σελήνην, γελάσεται τὴν ἀμαθίαν καὶ τὴν ἀβελτερίαν τῶν ταῦτα πειθομένων γυναικῶν, ἀστρολογίας ἀνηκόως ἔχουσα καὶ περὶ Ἀγλαονίκης ἀκηκουῖα τῆς Ἡγήτορος τοῦ Θεσσαλοῦ θυγατρὸς ὅτι τῶν ἐκλειπτικῶν ἔμπειρος οὖσα πανσελήνων καὶ προειδυῖα τὸν χρόνον, ἐν ᾧ συμβαίνει τὴν σελήνην ὑπὸ τῆς σκιᾶς ἁλίσκεσθαι, παρεκρούετο καὶ συνέπειθε τὰς γυναῖκας ὡς αὐτὴ καθαιροῦσα τὴν σελήνην. παιδίον μὲν γὰρ οὐδεμία ποτὲ γυνὴ λέγεται ποιῆσαι δίχα κοινωνίας ἀνδρός, τὰ δʼ ἄμορφα κυήματα καὶ σαρκοειδῆ καὶ σύστασιν ἐν ἑαυτοῖς ἐκ διαφθορᾶς λαμβάνοντα μύλας καλοῦσι. τοῦτο δὴ φυλακτέον ἐν ταῖς ψυχαῖς γίγνεσθαι τῶν γυναικῶν. ἂν γὰρ λόγων χρηστῶν σπέρματα μὴ δέχωνται μηδὲ κοινωνῶσι παιδείας· τοῖς ἀνδράσιν, αὐταὶ καθʼ αὑτὰς ἄτοπα πολλὰ καὶ φαῦλα βουλεύματα καὶ πάθη κυοῦσι. σὺ δʼ ὦ Εὐρυδίκη μάλιστα πειρῶ τοῖς τῶν σοφῶν καὶ ἀγαθῶν ἀποφθέγμασιν ὁμιλεῖν καὶ διὰ στόματος ἀεὶ τὰς φωνὰς ἔχειν ἐκείνας ὧν καὶ παρθένος οὖσα παρʼ ἡμῖν ἀνελάμβανες, ὅπως εὐφραίνῃς μὲν τὸν ἄνδρα, θαυμάζῃ δʼ ὑπὸ τῶν ἄλλων γυναικῶν, οὕτω κοσμουμένη περιττῶς καὶ σεμνῶς ἀπὸ μηδενός. τοὺς μὲν γὰρ τῆσδε τῆς πλουσίας μαργαρίτας καὶ τὰ τῆσδε τῆς ξένης σηρικὰ λαβεῖν οὐκ ἔστιν οὐδὲ περιθέσθαι μὴ πολλοῦ πριαμένην, τὰ δὲ Θεανοῦς κόσμια καὶ Κλεοβουλίνης καὶ Γοργοῦς τῆς Λεωνίδου γυναικὸς καὶ Τιμοκλείας τῆς Θεαγένους ἀδελφῆς καὶ Κλαυδίας τῆς παλαιᾶς, καὶ Κορνηλίας τῆς Σκιπίωνος καὶ ὅσαι ἐγένοντο θαυμασταὶ καὶ περιβόητοι, ταῦτα δʼ ἔξεστι περικειμένην προῖκα καὶ κοσμουμένην αὐτοῖς ἐνδόξως ἅμα βιοῦν καὶ μακαρίως. εἰ γὰρ ἡ Σαπφὼ διὰ τὴν ἐν τοῖς μέλεσι καλλιγραφίαν ἐφρόνει τηλικοῦτον ὥστε γράψαι πρός τινα πλουσίανκατθάνοισα δὲ κείσεαι, οὐδέ τις μναμοσύνα σέθενἔσεται· οὐ γὰρ πεδέχεις ῥόδωντῶν ἐκ Πιερίας, πῶς οὐχί σοι μᾶλλον ἐξέσται μέγα φρονεῖν ἐφʼ ἑαυτῇ καὶ λαμπρόν, ἂν μὴ τῶν ῥόδων ἀλλὰ καὶ τῶν καρπῶν μετέχῃς, ὧν αἱ Μοῦσαι φέρουσι καὶ χαρίζονται τοῖς παιδείαν καὶ φιλοσοφίαν θαυμάζουσιν;