15. But a brother should not, like the pan of a balance, incline the opposite way and be himself lowered when his brother is raised on high; but just as lesser numbers multiply greater and are multiplied by them, so should he give increase to his brother and at the same time be increased along with him by their common blessings. For it is not true of the fingers, either, that the one which writes and plays musical instruments is superior to the one which cannot, by either nature or attainment, do so, but in some manner or other they all contrive to move together and assist each other, having been made unequal, as though of set purpose, and all deriving their power to grasp from the position of the others opposite the thumb, the largest and strongest of them. In this spirit Craterus, the brother of King Antigonus, and Perlatis, the brother of Cassander, assigned themselves to the management of their brothers’ military and domestic affairs; but men like Antiochus and Seleucus, and again Grypus and Cyzicenus, who had not learned to play parts secondary to their brothers, but yearned for the purple and the crown, infected themselves and each other with many horrors, and infected all Asia also. But since envy and jealousy of those who surpass them in repute and honour are implanted by nature chiefly in men of ambitious character, to guard against these vices it is highly expedient that brothers should not seek to acquire honours or power in the same field, but in quite different fields. Wild beasts, to be sure, which depend for their food upon the same things, war against each other, and athletes who direct their efforts toward one and the same contest are rivals; whereas boxers are friendly to pancratiasts and long-distance runners are well disposed toward wrestlers, and they mutually assist and cheer for each other. This, in fact, is the reason why, of the two sons of Tyndareüs, Polydeuces won his victories in boxing and Castor in running. And Homer did well to represent Teucer as renowned in archery, while his brother was foremost among the heavy-armed: “And he covered Teucer with gleaming shield.” So, of those engaged in the service of the state, generals do not at all envy popular leaders; nor, among those occupied with the art of speaking, do barristers envy teachers of rhetoric; nor, among physicians, do dieticians envy surgeons; but they even call each other into consultation and commend one another. For brothers to seek eminence and repute from the same art or faculty is precisely the same as for both to fall in love with one woman and each seek to outstrip the other in her esteem. Those, indeed, who travel different roads afford each other no help, but those who follow different modes of life both strive to avoid envy and are of greater service to each other, as were Demosthenes and Chares, and again Aeschines and Eubulus, Hypereides and Leosthenes, of whom the former in each pair harangued the people and drew up laws, the latter commanded armies and translated words into action. Therefore those who cannot, by their very nature, share without envy their brothers’ reputation and influence, should divert as far as possible from those of their brothers their own desires and ambitions, so that by their successes they may give pleasure to each other instead of pain.
15. ἀδελφῷ δὲ χρὴ μὴ καθάπερ πλάστιγγα ῥέπειν ἐπὶ τοὐναντίον, ὑψουμένου ταπεινούμενον αὐτόν, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ τῶν ἀριθμῶν οἱ ἐλάττονες τοὺς μείζονας πολλαπλασιάζοντες; καὶ πολλαπλασιαζόμενοι συναύξειν ἅμα καὶ συναύξεσθαι τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς. οὐδὲ γὰρ τῶν δακτύλων ἔλαττον ἔχει τοῦ γράφοντος ἢ ψάλλοντος ὁ μὴ δυνάμενος τοῦτο ποιεῖν μηδὲ πεφυκώς, ἀλλὰ συγκινοῦνται καὶ συνεργοῦσιν ἅπαντες ἁμωσγέπως ἀλλήλοις, ὥσπερ ἐπίτηδες ἄνισοι γεγονότες καὶ τὸ συλληπτικὸν ἐξ ἀντιθέσεως πρὸς τὸν μέγιστον καὶ ῥωμαλεώτατον ἔχοντες. οὕτω καὶ Κρατερὸς Ἀντιγόνου βασιλεύοντος ἀδελφὸς ὢν καὶ Κασάνδρου Περίλαος ἐπὶ τὸ στρατηγεῖν καὶ οἰκουρεῖν ἔταττον αὑτούς· Ἀντίοχοι δὲ καὶ Σέλευκοι καὶ πάλιν Γρυποὶ καὶ Κυζικηνοὶ τὰ δεύτερα φέρειν οὐ μαθόντες ἀδελφοῖς ἀλλὰ πορφύρας καὶ διαδήματος ὀρεγόμενοι, πολλῶν μὲν αὑτοὺς κακῶν καὶ ἀλλήλους πολλῶν δὲ τὴν Ἀσίαν ἐνέπλησαν. ἐπεὶ δὲ τοῖς φιλοτίμοις μάλιστα τῶν ἠθῶν ἐμφύονται φθόνοι καὶ ζηλοτυπίαι πρὸς τοὺς πλέον ἔχοντας ἐν δόξῃ καὶ τιμῇ, χρησιμώτατόν ἐστι πρὸς τοῦτο τοῖς ἀδελφοῖς τὸ μὴ κτᾶσθαι μήτε τὰς τιμὰς μήτε τὰς δυνάμεις ἀπὸ τῶν αὐτῶν, ἀλλʼ ἕτερον ἀφʼ ἑτέρου. καὶ γὰρ τῶν θηρίων πόλεμός ἐστι πρὸς ἄλληλα τοῖς ἀπὸ τῶν αὐτῶν τρεφομένοις, καὶ τῶν ἀθλητῶν οἱ πρὸς ἓν ἄθλημα κάμνοντες ἀνταγωνισταί· πύκται δὲ παγκρατιασταῖς φίλιοι καὶ δολιχοδρόμοι παλαισταῖς εὐμενεῖς εἰσι καὶ συναγωνιῶσι καὶ σπουδάζουσιν ὑπὲρ ἀλλήλων· διὸ καὶ τῶν Τυνδαριδῶν πὺξ μὲν ὁ Πολυδεύκης ἐνίκα δρόμῳ δʼ ὁ Κάστωρ. εὖ δὲ καὶ τὸν Τεῦκρον Ὅμηρος πεποίηκεν ἀπὸ τῆς τοξικῆς εὐδοκιμοῦντα, τἀδελφοῦ πρωτεύοντος ἐν τοῖς ὁπλίταις· ὁ δέ μιν σάκεϊ κρύπτασκε φαεινῷ. καὶ τῶν πολιτευομένων οἱ στρατηγοῦντες τοῖς δημαγωγοῦσιν οὐ πάνυ φθονοῦσιν, οὐδέ γε τῶν ῥητόρων οἱ δικολόγοι τοῖς σοφιστεύουσιν οὐδὲ τῶν ἰατρῶν οἱ περὶ δίαιταν τοῖς χειρουργοῖς ἀλλὰ καὶ συμπαραλαμβάνουσι καὶ συνεπιμαρτυροῦσι. τὸ δʼ ἀπὸ τῆς αὐτῆς τέχνης ἢ δυνάμεως ζητεῖν ἔνδοξον εἶναι καὶ περίβλεπτον οὐδὲν ἐν φαύλοις διαφέρει τοῦ μιᾶς ἐρῶντας ἀμφοτέρους βούλεσθαι πλέον ἔχειν καὶ μᾶλλον εὐδοκιμεῖν τοῦ ἑτέρου τὸν ἕτερον. οἱ μὲν οὖν καθʼ ἑτέρας ὁδοὺς βαδίζοντες οὐθὲν ἀλλήλους ὠφελοῦσιν, οἱ δὲ βίοις χρώμενοι διαφόροις τόν τε φθόνον ἐκτρέπονται καὶ συνεργοῦσιν ἀλλήλοις μᾶλλον, ὡς Δημοσθένης καὶ Χάρης καὶ πάλιν Αἰσχίνης καὶ Εὔβουλος καὶ Ὑπερείδης καὶ Λεωσθένης, οἱ μὲν λέγοντες ἐν τῷ καὶ γράφοντες οἱ στρατηγοῦντες καὶ πράττοντες·, ὅθεν ἀπωτάτω δεῖ ταῖς ἐπιθυμίαις τρέπεσθαι καὶ ταῖς φιλοτιμίαις τῶν ἀδελφῶν τοὺς ἀφθόνως δόξης καὶ δυνάμεως κοινωνεῖν μὴ πεφυκότας, ὅπως εὐφραίνωσιν εὐημεροῦντες ἀλλήλους ἀλλὰ μὴ λυπῶσι.
16. But, over and above these considerations, we should be on our guard against the pernicious talk of relatives, of members of our household, and sometimes even of a wife who joins the rest in challenging our ambition by saying: “Your brother carries all before him and is admired and courted, but you are not visited by anybody and enjoy no distinction at all.” “Not so,” a sensible man would reply. “I have a brother who is highly esteemed, and most of his influence is mine to share.” Socrates, for instance, remarked that he would rather have Darius than a daric as a friend, and for a brother who has good sense it is no less an advantage than the possession of wealth, high office, or eloquence, to have a brother who has attained to fame by virtue of office or wealth or eloquence. But although these means are the best for smoothing away such inequalities, yet there are the other differences which naturally arise among brothers who lack the proper training, differences due to disparity in their ages. For, generally speaking, elder brothers, when they claim the right always to dominate and to have precedence over the younger and to have the advantage in every matter where reputation and influence are involved, are oppressive and disagreeable; and younger brothers, in turn, being restive under the curb and becoming fractious, make it their practice to despise and belittle the elder. The result is that while the younger, feeling that they are being treated despitefully and are discriminated against, resent and try to avoid their elders’ admonitions, the elder, ever clinging fast to their superiority, fear their brothers’ augmentation as though it meant elimination for themselves. Just as, then, we think it right that those who receive a favour should look upon it as of greater, and those who bestow it as of lesser value, so, in regard to a difference in ages, if we advise the elder to regard it as no great matter and the younger to think it no slight thing, we should rid the one of arrogance and neglect, and the other of disdain and contempt. And since it is fitting that the older should be solicitous about the younger and should lead and admonish him, and that the younger should honour and emulate and follow the older, let the solicitude of the former be rather that of a comrade than of a father, and of one who would persuade rather than command, and would rejoice in a brother’s successes and applaud them rather than criticize him if he errs and restrain him-a spirit showing not only a greater desire to help, but also more kindness of heart. And in the emulation of the younger let imitation, not rivalry, be present; for imitation is the act of one who admires, but rivalry of one who envies. It is for this reason that men love those who wish to become like themselves, but repress and crush those who wish to become their equals. And among the many honours which it is fitting that the young render to their elders, obedience is most highly esteemed, and, together with respectfulness, brings about a staunch goodwill and favour which will in turn lead to concessions. Thus it was with Cato: he so won over his elder brother Caepio by obedience and gentleness and silence from his earliest childhood that finally, by the time they both were men, he had so subdued him and filled him with so great a respect for himself that Caepio would neither do nor say anything without Cato’s knowledge. For example, it is said that on one occasion, when Caepio had affixed his seal to a deposition and Cato carne up later and was unwilling to add his own seal, Caepio demanded that the document be returned and removed his seal before asking the reason why his brother had suspected the deposition instead of believing it to be true. In the case of Epicurus also his brothers’ respect for him was clearly great because of the goodwill and solicitude he had for them, inspired as they were with admiration both for his other attainments and especially for his philosophy. For even if they were mistaken in their opinion, yet since they were convinced and constantly declared from their earliest childhood that there was no one wiser than Epicurus, we may well admire both the man who inspired this devotion and also those who felt it. However, of the more recent philosophers, Apollonius the Peripatetic, by making Sotion, his younger brother, more famous than himself, refuted the man who asserted that fame could not be shared with another. And for myself, though I have received from Fortune many favours which call for gratitude, that my brother Timon’s affection for me has always transcended and still transcends all the rest, no one is unaware who has ever had any dealings whatever with me, and least of all you, my familiar friends.
16. παρὰ πάντα δὲ ταῦτα φυλακτέον ἐστὶ κηδεστῶν καὶ οἰκείων καὶ γυναικὸς; ἔστιν ὅτε τῇ φιλοδοξίᾳ συνεπιτιθεμένης λόγους πονηρούς, ὁ ἀδελφὸς ἄγει καὶ φέρει πάντα καὶ θαυμάζεται καὶ θεραπεύεται, σοὶ δʼ οὐδεὶς πρόσεισιν οὐδʼ ἔχεις σεμνὸν οὐδέν. ἔχω μὲν οὖν ἂν φαίη τις εὖ φρονῶν ἀδελφὸν εὐδοκιμοῦντα καὶ μέτεστί μοι τῆς ἐκείνου δυνάμεως τὸ πλεῖστον ὁ μὲν γὰρ Σωκράτης ἔλεγε βούλεσθαι Δαρεῖον ἔχειν μᾶλλον φίλον ἢ τὸ δαρεικόν, ἀδελφῷ δὲ νοῦν ἔχοντι καὶ πλούτου καὶ ἀρχῆς καὶ λογιότητος οὐκ ἔλαττον ἀγαθόν ἐστιν ἄρχων ἀδελφὸς ἢ πλουτῶν ἢ λόγου δυνάμει προήκων εἰς δόξαν. ἀλλὰ ταύτας μὲν οὕτω μάλιστα τὰς ἀνωμαλίας παρηγορητέον ἕτεραι δʼ εὐθὺς ἐγγίγνονται διαφοραὶ περὶ τὰς ἡλικίας ἀπαιδεύτοις ἀδελφοῖς. ἐπιεικῶς γὰρ οἳ τε πρεσβύτεροι τῶν νεωτέρων ἄρχειν ἀξιοῦντες ἀεὶ καὶ προΐστασθαι καὶ πλέον ἔχειν ἐν παντὶ δόξης καὶ δυνάμεως βαρεῖς εἰσι καὶ ἀηδεῖς· οἵ τε νεώτεροι πάλιν ἀφηνιάζοντες καὶ θρασυνόμενοι καταφρονεῖν καὶ ὀλιγωρεῖν ἀσκοῦσιν. ἐκ δὲ τούτων οἱ μὲν ὡς φθονούμενοι καὶ κολουόμενοι φεύγουσι καὶ δυσχεραίνουσι τὰς νουθεσίας· οἱ δʼ ἀεὶ τῆς ὑπεροχῆς γλιχόμενοι φοβοῦνται τὴν ἐκείνων αὔξησιν ὡς αὑτῶν κατάλυσιν. ὥσπερ οὖν ἐπὶ τῆς χάριτος ἀξιοῦσι μείζονα τοὺς λαμβάνοντας ἡγεῖσθαι μικροτέραν δὲ τοὺς διδόντας· οὕτως ἄν τις, τὸν χρόνον παραινῶν τῷ μὲν πρεσβυτέρῳ μὴ μέγα νομίζειν τῷ δὲ νεωτέρῳ μὴ μικρόν, ὑπεροψίας καὶ ἀμελείας καὶ τοῦ καταφρονεῖσθαι καὶ καταφρονεῖν ἀμφοτέρους ἀπαλλάξειεν. ἐπεὶ δὲ τῷ μὲν πρεσβυτέρῳ τὸ κήδεσθαι καὶ καθηγεῖσθαι καὶ νουθετεῖν προσῆκόν ἐστι τῷ δὲ νεωτέρῳ τὸ τιμᾶν καὶ ζηλοῦν καὶ ἀκολουθεῖν, ἡ μὲν ἐκείνου κηδεμονία τὸ ἑταιρικὸν μᾶλλον ἢ τὸ πατρικὸν ἐχέτω καὶ τὸ πεῖθον ἢ τὸ ἐπιτάττον καὶ τὸ χαῖρον ἐπὶ τοῖς κατορθώμασι καὶ κατευφημοῦν τοῦ ψέγοντος ἂν ἁμάρτῃ καὶ κολούοντος μὴ μόνον προθυμότερον ἀλλὰ καὶ φιλανθρωπότερον τῷ δὲ τοῦ νεωτέρου ζήλῳ τὸ μιμούμενον ἐνέστω μὴ τὸ ἁμιλλώμενον. θαυμάζοντος γὰρ ἡ μίμησις ἡ δʼ ἅμιλλα φθονοῦντός ἐστι. διὸ τοὺς μὲν ἐξομοιοῦσθαι βουλομένους ἀγαπῶσι τοὺς,· δʼ ἐξισοῦσθαι πιέζουσι καὶ χαλέπτουσιν. ἐν πολλαῖς; δὲ τιμαῖς ἃς πρέπει παρὰ τῶν νέων ἀποδίδοσθαι τοῖς πρεσβυτέροις, τὸ πειθαρχεῖν εὐδοκιμεῖ μάλιστα καὶ κατεργάζεται μετʼ αἰδοῦς εὔνοιαν ἰσχυρὰν καὶ χάριν ἀνθυπείκουσαν. ᾗ καὶ Κάτων τὸν Καιπίωνα πρεσβύτερον ὄντα θεραπεύων εὐθὺς ἐκ παίδων εὐπειθείᾳ καὶ πραότητι καὶ σιωπῇ, τέλος οὕτως ἐπʼ ἀνδράσιν ἐχειρώσατο καὶ τοσαύτης ἐνέπλησεν αἰδοῦς πρὸς ἑαυτόν, ὡς μήτε πρᾶξαί τι μήτʼ εἰπεῖν ἀγνοοῦντος ἐκείνου. μνημονεύεται γοῦν, ὅτι μαρτυρίας ποτὲ γραμματεῖον ἐπισφραγισαμένου τοῦ Καιπίωνος ὁ Κάτων ὕστερος ἐπελθὼν οὐκ ἠθέλησεν ἐπισφραγίσασθαι· καὶ ὁ Καιπίων ἀπαιτήσας τὸ γραμματεῖον ἀφεῖλε τὴν αὑτοῦ σφραγῖδα πρὶν ἢ πυθέσθαι τί παθὼν. ὁ ἀδελφὸς οὐκ ἐπίστευσεν ἀλλʼ ὑπείδετο τὴν μαρτυρίαν. φαίνεται δὲ πολλὴ καὶ πρὸς Ἐπίκουρον ἡ αἰδὼς τῶν ἀδελφῶν διʼ εὔνοιαν αὐτοῦ καὶ κηδεμονίαν, εἴς τε τἄλλα καὶ φιλοσοφίαν τὴν ἐκείνου συνενθουσιώντων· καὶ γὰρ εἰ διημάρτανον δόξης εὐθὺς ἐκ παίδων πεπεισμένοι καὶ λέγοντες ὡς οὐδεὶς γέγονεν Ἐπικούρου σοφώτερος, ἄξιόν ἐστι θαυμάζειν καὶ τοῦ διαθέντος οὕτως καὶ τῶν διατεθέντων. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ τῶν νεωτέρων φιλοσόφων Ἀπολλώνιος ὁ περιπατητικὸς ἤλεγξε τὸν εἰπόντα δόξαν ἀκοινώνητον εἶναι, Σωτίωνα νεώτερον ἀδελφὸν αὑτοῦ ποιήσας ἐνδοξότερον. ἐμοὶ μὲν γὰρ ὅτι πολλῶν ἀξίων χάριτος παρὰ τῆς τύχης γεγονότων, ἡ Τίμωνος εὔνοια τἀδελφοῦ πρὸς ἅπαντα τἄλλα καὶ γέγονε καὶ ἔστιν, οὐδεὶς ἀγνοεῖ τῶν ὁπωσοῦν ἐντετυχηκότων ἡμῖν, ἣκιστα δʼ οἱ συνήθεις ὑμεῖς.
17. Furthermore, there are other disturbances which brothers of nearly the same age must guard against; they are but small, to be sure, yet continuous and frequent, and create a vicious practice of offending and exasperating one another on all occasions, which at last ends in incurable hatred and malevolence. For having once begun to differ in childish matters, about the care of animals and their fights, as, for instance, those of quails or cocks, they then continue to differ about the contests of boys in the palaestra, of dogs on the hunt, and of horses at the races, until they are no longer able to control or subdue their contentious and ambitious spirit in more important matters. So the most powerful of the Greeks in my time, disagreeing first about rival dancers, then about harp-players, and afterwards by continually holding up to invidious comparison the swimming-baths and porticoes and banquet-halls at Aedepsus, and then manoeuvring for places and positions, and going on to cut off aqueducts and divert their waters, they became so savage and reckless that they were deprived of everything by the despot, and, becoming exiles and paupers and-I had almost said-something other than their former selves, they remained the same only in their hatred for one another. It is therefore of no slight importance to resist the spirit of contentiousness and jealousy among brothers when it first creeps in over trivial matters, practising the art of making mutual concessions, of learning to take defeat, and of taking pleasure in indulging brothers rather than in winning victories over them. For the men of old gave the name of “Cadmean victory” to no other than that of the brothers at Thebes, as being the most shameful and the worst of victories. What then? Do not practical affairs bring many occasions for controversy and dissension even to those who have the reputation of being of an equitable and gentle disposition? Yes, certainly. But there also we must see to it that the affairs fight the battle quite by themselves, without our inserting into the contest, like a hook, as it were, any emotion arising from contentiousness or anger; but, keeping our eyes fixed impartially upon the swaying of Justice, as though we were watching a pair of balances, we should with all speed turn over the matter in dispute to the decision of a jury or of arbitrators, and cleanse its filth away before, like a dye or stain, it sinks into the fabric and its colours become fast and hard to wash out. We should next pattern ourselves after the Pythagoreans, who, though related not at all by birth, yet sharing a common discipline, if ever they were led by anger into recrimination, never let the sun go down before they joined right hands, embraced each other, and were reconciled. For just as it is nothing alarming if a fever attends a swelling in the groin, but if the fever persists when the swelling is gone, it is thought to be a malady and to have a deeper origin: so when the dissension of brothers ceases after the matter in dispute is settled, the dissension was caused by the matter; but if it remains, the matter was but a pretext and contained some malignant and festering reason.
17. ἕτερα τοίνυν ταῖς παραλλήλοις καὶ σύνεγγυς ἡλικίαις τῶν ἀδελφῶν φυλακτέον ἐστὶ πάθη, μικρὰ μὲν συνεχῆ δὲ καὶ πολλὰ καὶ πονηρὰν ποιοῦντα τοῦ λυπεῖν καὶ παροξύνειν ἑαυτοὺς ἐπὶ πᾶσι μελέτην, τελευτῶσαν εἰς ἀνήκεστα μίση καὶ κακοθυμίας. ἀρξάμενοι γὰρ ἐπὶ παιδιαῖς διαφέρεσθαι, περὶ τροφὰς ζῴων καὶ ἀγῶνας οἷον ὀρτύγων ἢ ἀλεκτρυόνων, εἶτα παίδων ἐν παλαίστραις καὶ κυνῶν ἐν θήραις καὶ ἵππων ἐν ἁμίλλαις, οὐκέτι κρατεῖν ἐν τοῖς μείζοσιν οὐδὲ καταπαύειν τὸ φιλόνικον δύνανται καὶ φιλότιμον. ὥσπερ Ἑλλήνων οἱ καθʼ ἡμᾶς δυνατώτατοι περὶ σπουδὰς ὀρχηστῶν εἶτα κιθαρῳδῶν διαναστάντες, ἐκ τούτου τὰς ἐν Αἰδηψῷ κολυμβήθρας καὶ παστάδας καὶ ἀνδρῶνας ἀντιπαραβάλλοντες ἀεὶ καὶ τοπομαχοῦντες καὶ ἀποκόπτοντες; ὀχετοὺς καὶ ἀποστρέφοντες, οὕτως ἐξηγριώθησαν καὶ διεφθάρησαν, ὥστε πάντων ἀφαιρεθέντες; ὑπὸ τοῦ τυράννου, καὶ φυγάδες καὶ πένητες καὶ ʽ ὀλίγου δέω λέγειν’ ἕτεροι τῶν πρότερον γενόμενοι, μόνῳ διέμειναν οἱ αὐτοὶ τῷ μισεῖν ἀλλήλους. ὅθεν οὐχ ἥκιστα δεῖ περὶ τὰ μικρὰ καὶ πρῶτα παραδυομένῃ τῇ πρὸς τοὺς ἀδελφοὺς; φιλονικίᾳ καὶ ζηλοτυπίᾳ διαμάχεσθαι, μελετῶντας ἀνθυπείκειν καὶ ἡττᾶσθαι καὶ χαίρειν τῷ χαρίζεσθαι μᾶλλον αὐτοῖς ἢ τῷ νικᾶν. οὐ γὰρ ἑτέραν οἱ παλαιοὶ Καδμείαν νίκην ἀλλὰ τὴν περὶ Θήβας τῶν ἀδελφῶν ὡς αἰσχίστην καὶ κακίστην προσηγόρευσαν. τί οὖν; οὐχὶ πολλὰς τὰ πράγματα καὶ τοῖς ἐπιεικῶς ἔχειν δοκοῦσι καὶ πράως φέρει προφάσεις ἀντιλογιῶν καὶ διαφορῶν; καὶ μάλα· ἀλλὰ κἀκεῖ φυλακτέον, ὅπως τὰ πράγματα μάχηται καθʼ αὑτὰ, μηδὲν ἐκ φιλονικίας μηδʼ ὀργῆς πάθος οἷον ἄγκιστρον προστιθέντας, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ἐπὶ ζυγοῦ τοῦ δικαίου τὴν ῥοπὴν κοινῶς ἀποθεωροῦντας, καὶ τάχιστα ταῖς κρίσεσι καὶ ταῖς διαίταις τὴν ἀμφιλογίαν παραδιδόντας ἀποκαθαίρειν, πρὶν ἐνδῦσαν ὥσπερ βαφὴν ἢ κηλῖδα δευσοποιὸν γενέσθαι καὶ δυσέκπλυτον· εἶτα μιμεῖσθαι τοὺς Πυθαγορικούς, οἳ γένει μηθὲν προσήκοντες ἀλλὰ κοινοῦ λόγου μετέχοντες, εἴ ποτε προαχθεῖεν εἰς λοιδορίαν ὑπʼ ὀργῆς, πρὶν ἢ τὸν ἣλιον δῦναι, τὰς δεξιὰς ἐμβαλόντες ἀλλήλοις καὶ ἀσπασάμενοι διελύοντο. καθάπερ γὰρ ἐπὶ βουβῶνι πυρετοῦ γενομένου, δεινὸν οὐθέν ἐστιν, ἂν δὲ παυσαμένου παραμένῃ, νόσος εἶναι δοκεῖ καὶ βαθυτέραν ἔχειν ἀρχήν οὕτως ἀδελφῶν ἡ μετὰ τὸ πρᾶγμα παυομένη διαφορὰ τοῦ πράγματός ἐστι, τῆς δʼ ἐπιμενούσης πρόφασις ἦν τὸ πρᾶγμα μοχθηράν τε καὶ ὓπουλον αἰτίαν ἔχον.
18. It is worth our while to inquire into a dispute of brothers who were not Greeks, which arose, not about a little patch of land, nor over slaves or flocks, but about the empire of Persia. For when Darius died, some thought it right that Ariamenes should be king, being the eldest of his children; but others chose Xerxes, as being the child of Atossa, the daughter of Cyrus, and born to Darius after he had come to the throne. Now Ariamenes carne down from the country of the Medes in no hostile manner, but quietly, as though to a court of justice; and Xerxes was present and performing the functions of a king. But when his brother came, putting aside the diadem and pressing down the crest of his tiara, which reigning kings wear erect, he went to meet Ariamenes and embraced him, and, sending gifts, he bade the bearers say, “With these your brother Xerxes honours you now; but if he shall be proclaimed king by judgement and vote of the Persians, he grants to you the right of being second after himself.” And Ariamenes said, “I accept the gifts, yet I believe the kingdom of the Persians to be mine by right. But I shall guard for my brothers their honour after my own, and for Xerxes as the first of my brothers.” And when the day of judgement came, the Persians appointed as judge Artabanus, the brother of Darius; but Xerxes sought to evade their decision that the judgement should be made by Artabanus, since he put his faith in the people. But Atossa, his mother, chided him: “Why, my son, do you try to evade Artabanus, who is your uncle and the best of the Persians? Why do you so fear this contest in which even the second place is honourable-to be adjudged brother to the king of Persia?” Xerxes was therefore persuaded and when the pleas were made, Artabanus declared that the kingdom belonged by right to Xerxes; and Ariamenes at once leapt up and did obeisance to his brother and taking him by the hand set him upon the kingly throne. From that time forth Ariamenes was highest in honour with Xerxes and showed himself of such loyalty toward the king that he fell in the seafight at Salamis performing deeds of valour for his brother’s glory. Let this, then, be set forth as a pure and blameless model of goodwill and highmindedness. But Antiochus might be condemned because of his lust for dominion, yet admired because his love for his brother was not altogether extinguished thereby For he went to war against Seleucus for the kingdom, though he was the younger brother and had the aid of his mother. But when the war was at its height, Seleucus joined battle with the Galatians and was defeated; he disappeared and was thought to be dead, since practically all his army had been cut to pieces by the barbarians. So when Antiochus learned this, he laid aside his purple and put on a dark robe, and, shutting the gates of the palace, went into mourning for his brother. But a little later, when he heard that his brother was safe and was again collecting another army, he came forth and sacrificed to the gods, and made proclamation to the cities over which he ruled that they should sacrifice and wear garlands of rejoicing. The Athenians, though they absurdly invented the tale of the strife of the gods, yet inserted in it no slight correction of its absurdity, for they always omit the second day of Boedromion, thinking that on that day occurred Poseidon’s quarrel with Athena. What, then, prevents us also from treating the day on which we have quarrelled with any of our family or relatives as one to be consigned to oblivion, and counting it one of the unlucky days, instead of forgetting because of one day the many good days in which we grew up and lived together? For either it is in vain and to no avail that Nature has given us gentleness and forbearance, the child of restraint, or we should make the utmost use of these virtues in our relations with our family and relatives. And our asking and receiving forgiveness for our own errors reveals goodwill and affection quite as much as granting it to others when they err. For this reason we should neither overlook the anger of others, nor be stubborn with them when they ask forgiveness, but, on the contrary, should try to forestall their anger, when we ourselves are time and again at fault, by begging forgiveness, and again, when we have been wronged, in our turn should forestall their request for forgiveness by granting it before being asked. Eucleides, the Socratic, is famous in the schools because, when he heard an inconsiderate and brutal speech from his brother who said, “May I be damned if I don’t get even with you,” he replied, “And so will I, if I don’t persuade you to stop your anger and love me as you used to do.” But in the case of King Eumenes it was not a mere word, but a deed, which revealed a gentleness that no one could surpass. For Perseus, the king of Macedonia, who was his enemy, procured men to kill him. These men set an ambush near Delphi, observing that he was coming on foot from the sea to the temple of the god. They carne behind him and hurled great stones down upon his head and neck; these made him dizzy and he fell down and was thought to be dead. A report of his death spread far and wide, and some of his friends and servants Carne back to Pergamum, and were thought to bring their report as actual eye-witnesses of the calamity. Attalus, therefore, the eldest of the king’s brothers, an honourable man and more loyal to Eumenes than any of the others, not only took the crown and was proclaimed king, but also married his brother’s wife, Strato nice, and had intercourse with her. But when the news carne that Eumenes was alive, and he himself was approaching, Attalus laid aside the crown, took his spears, as had been his custom before, and went with the other guardsmen to meet the king. And Eumenes not only cordially clasped his hand, but also embraced the queen, showing her honour and friendliness; and living a considerable time after his return, without giving a hint of blame or suspicion, he died, leaving to Attalus both his kingdom and his wife. And what did Attalus? When Eumenes was dead, he was unwilling to acknowledge as his own any of the children his wife had borne him, though they were many, but brought up and educated his brother’s son and in his own life-time placed the crown upon his head and saluted him as king. But Cambyses, frightened by a dream into the belief that his brother would be king of Asia, killed him without waiting for any evidence or proof. For this reason, when Cambyses died, the throne passed from the line of Cyrus and the kingship was gained by the family of Darius, a man who knew how to give, not only to brothers, but also to friends, participation in affairs of state and in power.
18. ἄξιον δὲ πυθέσθαι βαρβάρων ἀδελφῶν διαδικασίαν οὐ περὶ γῃδίου μερίδος; οὐδʼ ἐπʼ ἀνδραπόδοις ἢ προβατίοις γενομένην ἀλλὰ περὶ τῆς Περσῶν ἡγεμονίας. Δαρείου γὰρ ἀποθανόντος, οἱ μὲν ἠξίουν Ἀριαμένη βασιλεύειν, πρεσβύτατον ὄντα τῆς γενεᾶς, οἱ δὲ Ξέρξην, Ἀτόσσης τε μητρὸς ὄντα τῆς Κύρου θυγατρὸς; ἔκ τε Δαρείου βασιλεύοντος ἤδη γεγενημένον. Ἀριαμένης μὲν οὖν κατέβαινεν ἐκ Μήδων οὐ πολεμικῶς ἀλλʼ ὡς ἐπὶ δίκην ἡσύχως Ξέρξης· δὲ παρὼν ἔπραττεν ἅπερ ἦν βασιλεῖ προσήκοντα· ἐλθόντος δὲ τἀδελφοῦ, θεὶς τὸ διάδημα καὶ καταβαλὼν τὴν τιάραν, ἣν φοροῦσιν ὀρθὴν οἱ βασιλεύοντες, ἀπήντησεν αὐτῷ καὶ ἠσπάσατο, καὶ δῶρα πέμπων ἐκέλευσεν εἰπεῖν τοὺς κομίζοντας τούτοις σε νῦν τιμᾷ Ξέρξης, ὁ ἀδελφός· ἂν δὲ βασιλεὺς κρίσει καὶ ψήφῳ Περσῶν ἀναγορευθῇ, δίδωσί σοι δευτέρῳ μεθʼ ἑαυτὸν εἶναι. καὶ ὁ Ἀριαμένης ἐγὼ δʼ ἔφη τὰ μὲν δῶρα δέχομαι, βασιλείαν δὲ τὴν Περσῶν ἐμαυτῷ νομίζω προσήκειν· τιμὴν δὲ τὴν μετʼ ἐμὲ τοῖς ἀδελφοῖς φυλάξω, Ξέρξῃ δὲ πρώτῳ τῶν ἀδελφῶν ἐπεὶ δʼ ἡ κρίσις ἐνέστη, Πέρσαι μὲν Ἀρτάβανον, ἀδελφὸν ὄντα Δαρείου, δικαστὴν ἀπέφηναν δόξαν αὐτοῖς, Ξέρξης δʼ ἔφευγεν ἐπʼ ἐκείνου κριθῆναι τῷ πλήθει πεποιθώς. Ἄτοσσα δʼ ἡ μήτηρ ἐπέπληξεν αὐτῷ, τί φεύγεις Ἀρτάβανον, ὦ παῖ, θεῖον ὄντα καὶ Περσῶν ἄριστον; τί δʼ οὕτω τὸν ἀγῶνα δέδοικας, ἐν καλὰ καὶ τὰ δευτερεῖα, Περσῶν βασιλέως ἀδελφὸν κριθῆναι; πεισθέντος οὖν Ξέρξου καὶ γενομένων λόγων, Ἀρτάβανος μὲν ἀπεφήνατο Ξέρξῃ τὴν βασιλείαν προσήκειν, Ἀριαμένης δʼ εὐθὺς ἀναπηδήσας προσεκύνησε τὸν ἀδελφὸν καὶ λαβόμενος τῆς δεξιᾶς εἰς τὸν θρόνον ἐκάθισε τὸν βασίλειον. ἐκ τούτου μέγιστος ἦν παρʼ αὐτῷ καὶ παρεῖχεν εὔνουν ἑαυτόν, ὥστʼ ἀριστεύων ἐν τῇ περὶ Σαλαμῖνα ναυμαχίᾳ πεσεῖν ὑπὲρ τῆς ἐκείνου δόξης τοῦτο μὲν οὖν ὥσπερ ἀρχέτυπον ἐκκείσθω καθαρὸν καὶ ἀμώμητον εὐμενείας καὶ μεγαλοφροσύνης. Ἀντιόχου δὲ τὴν μὲν φιλαρχίαν ψέξειεν ἄν τις, ὅτι δʼ οὐ παντάπασιν αὐτῇ τὸ φιλάδελφον ἐνηφανίσθη, θαυμάσειεν. ἐπολέμει μὲν γὰρ ὑπὲρ τῆς βασιλείας Σελεύκῳ νεώτερος ὢν ἀδελφὸς καὶ τὴν μητέρα συλλαμβάνουσαν εἶχεν· ἀκμάζοντος δὲ τοῦ πολέμου, Γαλάταις μάχην ὁ Σέλευκος συνάψας καὶ ἡττηθείς, οὐδαμοῦ φανερὸς ἦν ἀλλʼ ἔδοξε τεθνάναι, πάσης ὁμοῦ τι τῆς στρατιᾶς ὑπὸ τῶν βαρβάρων κατακοπείσης. πυθόμενος οὖν ὁ Ἀντίοχος τὴν πορφύραν ἔθηκε καὶ φαιὸν ἱμάτιον ἔλαβε, καὶ τὰ βασίλεια κλείσας ἐπένθει τὸν ἀδελφόν· ὀλίγῳ δʼ ὕστερον ἀκούσας, ὅτι σῴζεται καὶ δύναμιν αὖθις ἑτέραν ἀθροίζει, τοῖς τε θεοῖς ἔθυσε προελθὼν καὶ ταῖς πόλεσιν ὧν ἦρχε θύειν καὶ στεφανηφορεῖν ἐπήγγειλεν. Ἀθηναῖοι δὲ τὸν περὶ τῆς ἔριδος τῶν θεῶν μῦθον ἀτόπως πλάσαντες ἐπανόρθωμα τῆς ἀτοπίας οὐ φαῦλον ἐνέμιξαν αὐτῷ· τὴν γὰρ δευτέραν ἐξαιροῦσιν ἀεὶ τοῦ Βοηδρομιῶνος, ὡς ἐν ἐκείνῃ τῷ Ποσειδῶνι πρὸς τὴν Ἀθηνᾶν γενομένης τῆς διαφορᾶς. τί οὖν κωλύει καὶ ἡμᾶς διαφορᾶς ποτε πρὸς οἰκείους καὶ συγγενεῖς γενομένης ἐν ἀμνηστίᾳ τὴν ἡμέραν ἐκείνην τίθεσθαι καὶ μίαν τῶν ἀποφράδων νομίζειν, ἀλλὰ μὴ πολλῶν καὶ ἀγαθῶν ἐν αἷς συνετράφημεν καὶ συνεβιώσαμεν ἡμερῶν διὰ μίαν ἐπιλανθάνεσθαι; ἢ γὰρ μάτην καὶ πρὸς οὐθὲν ἡ φύσις ἡμῖν ἔδωκε πραότητα καὶ μετριοπαθείας ἔκγονον ἀνεξικακίαν, ἢ μάλιστα χρηστέον τούτοις πρὸς συγγενεῖς καὶ οἰκείους. οὐχ ἧττον δὲ τοῦ διδόναι συγγνώμην ἁμαρτοῦσι τὸ αἰτεῖσθαι καὶ λαμβάνειν αὐτοὺς ἁμαρτόντας εὔνοιαν ἐμφαίνει καὶ φιλοστοργίαν. ὅθεν ὀργιζομένων τε δεῖ μὴ ἀμελεῖν καὶ παραιτουμένοις μὴ ἀντιτείνειν, ἀλλὰ καὶ φθάνειν πολλάκις ἁμαρτόντας αὐτοὺς τῇ παραιτήσει τὴν ὀργὴν ἀδικηθέντας τε πάλιν αὖ τῇ συγγνώμῃ τὴν παραίτησιν. ὁ μὲν οὖν Σωκρατικὸς Εὐκλείδης ἐν ταῖς σχολαῖς περιβόητός ἐστιν, ὅτι φωνὴν ἀκούσας ἀγνώμονα καὶ θηριώδη τἀδελφοῦ πρὸς αὐτὸν εἰπόντος ἀπολοίμην, εἰ μή σε τιμωρησαίμην· ἐγὼ δʼ εἶπεν εἰ μή σε πείσαιμι παύσασθαι τῆς ὀργῆς καὶ φιλεῖν ἡμᾶς ὡς πρότερον ἐφίλεις. τὸ δʼ Εὐμένους τοῦ βασιλέως ἔργον οὐ λόγος ὑπερβολὴν οὐδεμίαν πραότητος ἀπολέλοιπε. Περσεὺς γὰρ ὁ τῶν Μακεδόνων βασιλεὺς ἐχθρὸς ὢν αὐτῷ παρεσκεύασε τοὺς ἀποκτενοῦντας· οἱ δὲ περὶ Δελφοὺς ἐνήδρευον αἰσθόμενοι βαδίζοντα πρὸς τὸν θεὸν ἀπὸ θαλάσσης. γενόμενοι δʼ ὄπισθεν αὐτοῦ λίθους μεγάλους ἐμβάλλουσιν εἴς τε τὴν κεφαλὴν καὶ τὸν τράχηλον, ὑφʼ ὧν σκοτωθεὶς καὶ πεσὼν ἔδοξε τεθνάναι· καὶ περιῆλθεν ἡ φήμη πανταχόσε, καὶ φίλοι τινὲς ἀφίκοντο καὶ θεράποντες εἰς Πέργαμον αὐτάγγελοι τοῦ πάθους ἣκειν δοκοῦντες. Ἄτταλος οὖν ὁ πρεσβύτατος αὐτοῦ τῶν ἀδελφῶν, ἀνὴρ ἐπιεικὴς καὶ περὶ τὸν Εὐμένη πάντων ἄριστος, οὐ μόνον βασιλεὺς ἀνηγορεύθη διαδησάμενος, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα τἀδελφοῦ Στρατονίκην ἔγημε καὶ συνῆρχεν· ἐπεὶ δʼ ἀπηγγέλη ζῶν ὁ Εὐμένης καὶ προσῄει, θεὶς τὸ διάδημα καὶ λαβὼν ὥσπερ εἰώθει τὰ δοράτια μετὰ τῶν ἄλλων ἀπήντησεν αὐτῷ δορυφόρων. ὁ δὲ κἀκεῖνον εὐμενῶς ἐδεξιώσατο καὶ τὴν βασίλισσαν ἠσπάσατο μετὰ τιμῆς καὶ φιλοφροσύνης· καὶ χρόνον οὐκ ὀλίγον ἐπιβιώσας ἀμέμπτως καὶ ἀνυπόπτως ἀπέθανε, τῷ Ἀττάλῳ τήν τε βασιλείαν καὶ τὴν γυναῖκα παρεγγυήσας. τί οὖν ἐκεῖνος; ἀποθανόντος αὐτοῦ, παιδίον οὐδὲ ἓν ἠθέλησεν ἐκ τῆς γυναικὸς ἀνελέσθαι τεκούσης πολλάκις, ἀλλὰ τὸν ἐκείνου παῖδα θρέψας καὶ ἀνδρώσας ἔτι ζῶν ἐπέθηκε τὸ διάδημα καὶ βασιλέα προσηγόρευσεν. ἀλλὰ Καμβύσης ἐξ ἐνυπνίου φοβηθεὶς ὡς βασιλεύσοντα τῆς Ἀσίας τὸν ἀδελφόν, οὐδεμίαν ἀπόδειξιν οὐδʼ ἔλεγχον ἀναμείνας ἀπέκτεινεν. ὅθεν ἐξέπεσε τῆς Κύρου διαδοχῆς ἡ ἀρχὴ, τελευτήσαντος αὐτοῦ, καὶ τὸ Δαρείου γένος ἐβασίλευσεν, ἀνδρὸς οὐ μόνον ἀδελφοῖς ἀλλὰ καὶ φίλοις ἐπισταμένου κοινωνεῖν πραγμάτων καὶ δυνάμεως.
19. Then this further matter must be borne in mind and guarded against when differences arise among brothers: we must be careful especially at such times to associate familiarly with our brothers’ friends, but avoid and shun all intimacy with their enemies, imitating in this point, at least., the practice of Cretans, who, though they often quarrelled with and warred against each other, made up their differences and united when outside enemies attacked; and this it was which they called “syncretism.” For some there are, fluid as water, who, seeping through those who relax their hold and disagree, overturn affinities and friendships, hating indeed both sides, but attacking the one which yields more readily because of its weakness. For while it is true that when a man is in love his young and guileless friends share his love, it is also true that the most ill-disposed of enemies make a show of sharing the indignation and wrath of one who is angered and at variance with his brother. As, then, Aesop’s hen said to the cat who inquired, with pretended solicitude, of the sick bird “How are you?” “Very well, if you keep away”; so one would say to the sort of person who brings up the subject of the quarrel and makes inquiries and tries to dig up some secrets, “But I shall have no trouble with my brother if neither I nor he pay attention to slanderers.” But as it is - I do not know the reason - although when we suffer from sore eyes, we think it proper to turn our gaze to colours and objects which do not beat against or offend the sight, yet when we are in the midst of fault-finding and bursts of anger and suspicion toward our brothers, we enjoy the company of those who cause the disturbance and we take on from them a false colouring, when it would be wise to run away from our enemies and ill-wishers and avoid their notice, and to associate and spend our days almost entirely with relatives and intimates and friends of our brothers, visiting their wives also and frankly telling them our reasons for complaint. And yet there is a saying that brothers walking together should not let a stone come between them, and some people are troubled if a dog runs between brothers, and are afraid of many such signs, not one of which ever ruptured the concord of brothers; yet they do not perceive what they are doing when they allow snarling and slanderous men to come between them and cause them to stumble.
19. ἔτι τοίνυν ἐκεῖνο δεῖ μνημονεύειν ἐν ταῖς πρὸς τοὺς ἀδελφοὺς διαφοραῖς καὶ φυλάττειν, τὸ τοῖς φίλοις αὐτῶν ὁμιλεῖν, καὶ πλησιάζειν τότε μάλιστα· φεύγειν δὲ τοὺς ἐχθροὺς καὶ μὴ προσδέχεσθαι, μιμούμενον αὐτὸ γοῦν τοῦτο τὸ Κρητῶν, οἳ πολλάκις στασιάζοντες ἀλλήλοις καὶ πολεμοῦντες, ἔξωθεν ἐπιόντων πολεμίων διελύοντο καὶ συνίσταντο· καὶ τοῦτʼ ἦν ὁ καλούμενος ὑπʼ αὐτῶν συγκρητισμός. ἔνιοι γὰρ ὥσπερ ὕδωρ τοῖς χαλῶσι καὶ διισταμένοις ὑπορρέοντες ἀνατρέπουσιν οἰκειότητας καὶ φιλίας, μισοῦντες μὲν ἀμφοτέρους ἐπιτιθέμενοι δὲ τῷ μᾶλλον ὑπʼ ἀσθενείας ἐνδιδόντι. τῷ μὲν γὰρ ἐρῶντι συνερῶσιν οἱ νεαροὶ καὶ ἄκακοι τῶν φίλων, τῷ δʼ ὀργιζομένῳ καὶ διαφερομένῳ πρὸς ἀδελφὸν οἱ κακοηθέστατοι τῶν ἐχθρῶν συναγανακτεῖν καὶ συνοργίζεσθαι δοκοῦσι. καθάπερ οὖν ἡ Αἰσώπειος ἀλεκτορὶς πρὸς τὴν αἴλουρον, ὡς δὴ κατʼ εὔνοιαν αὐτῆς νοσούσης ὅπως ἔχει πυθανομένην, καλῶς εἶπεν ἂν σὺ ἀποστῇς· οὕτω καὶ πρὸς τοιοῦτον ἄνθρωπον, ἐμβάλλοντα λόγον ὑπὲρ τῆς διαφορᾶς καὶ πυνθανόμενον καὶ ὑπορύττοντα τῶν ἀπορρήτων ἔνια, χρὴ λέγειν ἀλλʼ ἔμοιγε πρᾶγμα πρὸς τὸν ἀδελφὸν οὐθέν ἐστιν, ἂν μήτʼ ἐγὼ τοῖς διαβάλλουσι προσέχω μήτʼ ἐκεῖνος. νυνὶ δʼ οὐκ οἶδʼ ὅπως ὀφθαλμιῶντες μὲν οἰόμεθα δεῖν ἀποστρέφειν ἐπὶ τὰ μὴ ποιοῦντα, πληγὴν μηδʼ ἀντιτυπίαν χρώματα καὶ σώματα τὴν ὄψιν, ἐν δὲ μέμψεσι καὶ ὀργαῖς καὶ ὑπονοίαις πρὸς ἀδελφοὺς γενόμενοι χαίρομεν καὶ προσαναχρωννύμεθα τοῖς ἐκταράττουσιν, ὅτε καλῶς εἶχε τοὺς μὲν ἐχθροὺς καὶ δυσμενεῖς ἀποδιδράσκειν καὶ λανθάνειν, συνεῖναι δὲ καὶ συνδιημερεύειν μάλιστα κηδεσταῖς ἐκείνων καὶ οἰκείοις καὶ φίλοις, καὶ πρὸς γυναῖκας αὐτῶν εἰσιόντας αἰτιᾶσθαι καὶ παρρησιάζεσθαι. καίτοι λίθον οὔ φασι χρῆναι μέσον ἀδελφοὺς λαμβάνειν ὁδὸν βαδίζοντας, ἄχθονται δὲ καὶ κυνὸς διεκδραμόντος, καὶ πολλὰ τοιαῦτα δεδίασιν ὧν οὐδὲν ὁμόνοιαν ἀδελφῶν διέστησεν, ἀνθρώπους δὲ κυνικοὺς καὶ διαβόλους ἐν μέσῳ λαμβάνοντες αὑτῶν καὶ περιπταίοντες οὐ συνορῶσι.
20. And so the saying of Theophrastus, - its relevance is suggested by our very subject - is excellent: “If the possessions of friends are common, then by all means the friends of friends should be common”; and one should urge this advice upon brothers with special emphasis. For associations and intimacies which are maintained separately and apart lead brothers away from each other and turn them toward others, since an immediate consequence of affection for others is to take pleasure in others, to emulate others, and to follow the lead of others. For friendships shape character and there is no more important indication of a difference in character than the selection of different friends. For this reason neither eating and drinking together nor playing and spending the day together can so firmly cement concord between brothers as the sharing of friendships and enmities, taking pleasure in the company of the same persons, and loathing and avoiding the same. For friendships held in common do not tolerate either slanders or conflicts, but if any occasion for wrath or blame arises, it is dissipated by the mediation of friends, who take it upon themselves and disperse it, if they are but intimate with both parties and incline in their goodwill to both alike. For as tin joins together broken bronze and solders it by being applied to both ends, since it is of a material sympathetic to both, so should the friend, well-suited as he is to both and being theirs in common, join still closer their mutual goodwill; but those who are uneven and will not blend, like false notes of a scale in music, create discord, not harmony. One may, then, be in doubt as to whether Hesiod was right or not in saying, Nor should one make a friend a brother’s peer. For that man who is a considerate and a common friend to both brothers, as we have described him, compounded as he is of the natures of both, will the more readily be a bond of brotherly love between them. But Hesiod, it is likely, was afraid of the common run of friends who are evil because of their jealous and selfish natures. But even if we feel an equal affection for a friend, we should always be careful to reserve for a brother the first place in public offices and administration, and in invitations and introductions to distinguished men, and, in general, whenever we deal with occasions which in the eyes of the public give distinction and tend to confer honour, rendering thus to Nature the appropriate dignity and prerogative. For undue precedence in such matters is not so grand a thing for the friend, as the slight is shameful and degrading for a brother. But concerning this subject my opinions have been expressed more fully elsewhere. However, that verse of Menander, which is quite true, “No one that loves will gladly bear neglect,” reminds and teaches us to be considerate of our brothers and not, through trust in Nature’s influence, to slight them. It is true that a horse is by nature fond of man and a dog fond of his master, but if they do not meet with the proper tending or care, they grow estranged and alienated; and though the body is very closely related to the soul, yet if it is neglected and overlooked by the soul, it becomes unwilling to co-operate and even harms and abandons the soul’s activities.
20. διὸ τοῦ λόγου τὸ συνεχὲς ὑπαγορεύοντος, εὖ μὲν εἶπε Θεόφραστος ὡς εἰ κοινὰ τὰ φίλων ἐστί, μάλιστα δεῖ κοινοὺς τῶν φίλων εἶναι τοὺς φίλους· οὐχ ἣκιστα δʼ ἄν τις ἀδελφοῖς τοῦτο παραινέσειεν. αἱ γὰρ ἰδίᾳ καὶ χωρὶς ὁμιλίαι καὶ συνήθειαι πρὸς ἄλλους ἀποστρέφουσι καὶ ἀπάγουσιν ἀπʼ ἀλλήλων· τῷ γὰρ φιλεῖν ἑτέρους εὐθὺς ἕπεται τὸ χαίρειν ἑτέροις καὶ ζηλοῦν ἑτέρους καὶ ἄγεσθαι ὑφʼ ἑτέρων. ἠθοποιοῦσι γὰρ αἱ φιλίαι, καὶ μεῖζον οὐθέν ἐστι διαφορᾶς ἠθῶν σημεῖον ἢ φίλων αἱρέσεις διαφερόντων·. ὅθεν οὔτε τὸ συνεσθίειν ἀδελφοὺς καὶ συμπίνειν οὔτε τὸ συμπαίζειν καὶ συνδιημερεύειν οὕτω συνεκτικόν ἐστιν ὁμονοίας, ὡς τὸ συμφιλεῖν καὶ συνεχθραίνειν ἥδεσθαι τε τοῖς αὐτοῖς συνόντα καὶ τοὺς αὐτοὺς βδελύσσεσθαι καὶ φεύγειν. οὐδὲ γὰρ διαβολὰς; αἱ κοιναὶ φιλίαι φέρουσιν οὐδὲ συγκρούσεις· ἀλλὰ κἂν γένηταί τις ὀργὴ καὶ μέμψις, ἐκλύεται διὰ μέσων τῶν φίλων, ἐκδεχομένων καὶ διασκεδαννύντων, ἄνπερ ἀμφοτέροις οἰκείως ἔχωσι καὶ πρὸς ἀμφοτέρους ὁμοῦ τῇ εὐνοίᾳ συννεύωσιν. ὡς γὰρ ὁ κασσίτερος ῥαγέντα τὸν χαλκὸν συναρμόττει καὶ συγκεράννυσι τῷ ψαύειν ἑκατέρου πέρατος οἰκείως ὁμοπαθὴς γιγνόμενος, οὕτω δεῖ τὸν φίλον εὐάρμοστον ὄντα καὶ κοινὸν ἀμφοτέροις τοῖς ἀδελφοῖς προσκαταπυκνοῦν τὴν εὔνοιαν. οἱ δʼ ἄνισοι καὶ ἄμικτοι καθάπερ ἐν διαγράμματι μουσικῷ φθόγγοι, διάζευξιν οὐ συναφὴν ποιοῦσιν. ἔστιν οὖν διαπορῆσαι πότερον ὀρθῶς ἢ τοὐναντίον ὁ Ἡσίοδος εἶπε μηδὲ κασιγνήτῳ ἶσον ποιεῖσθαι ἑταῖρον ὁ μὲν γὰρ εὐγνώμων καὶ κοινός, ὥσπερ εἴρηται, μᾶλλον ἐγκραθεὶς διʼ ἀμφοτέρων σύνδεσμος; ἔσται τῆς φιλαδελφίας· ὁ δʼ Ἡσίοδος ὡς ἔοικεν ἐφοβήθη τοὺς πολλοὺς καὶ φαύλους διὰ τὸ δύσζηλον καὶ φίλαυτον. ὃ δὴ καλῶς ἔχει φυλαττομένους, κἂν εὔνοιαν ἴσην φίλῳ νέμῃ τις, ἀεὶ τὰ πρωτεῖα τἀδελφῷ φυλάττειν ἐν ἀρχαῖς καὶ πολιτείαις ἐν κλήσεσι καὶ γνωρίσεσιν ἡγεμόνων καὶ ὅσα τοῖς πολλοῖς ἐπιφανῆ καὶ πρὸς δόξαν ἐστί, τὸ προσῆκον ἀξίωμα τῇ φύσει καὶ γέρας ἀποδιδόντας. οὐ γὰρ οὕτω τῷ φίλῳ τὸ πλέον ἐν τούτοις σεμνόν, ὡς ἀδελφῷ τοὔλαττον αἰσχρὸν γίγνεται καὶ ἄδοξον. ἀλλὰ περὶ ταύτης μὲν ἑτέρωθι τῆς γνώμης γέγραπται τὰ δοκοῦντα διὰ πλειόνων. τὸ δὲ Μενάνδρειον ὀρθῶς ἔχον, ὡς οὐδεὶς ἀγαπῶν αὐτὸς ἀμελεῖθʼ ἡδέως, ὑπομιμνήσκει καὶ διδάσκει τῶν ἀδελφῶν ἐπιμελεῖσθαι καὶ μὴ τῇ φύσει πιστεύοντας ὀλιγωρεῖν. καὶ γὰρ ἵππος τῇ φύσει φιλάνθρωπον καὶ κύων φιλοδέσποτον, ἀλλὰ μὴ τυγχάνοντα θεραπείας μηδʼ ἐπιμελείας ἀπόστοργα γίγνεται καὶ ἀλλότρια· καὶ τὸ σῶμα τῆς ψυχῆς συγγενέστατόν ἐστιν, ἀμελούμενον δὲ καὶ παρορώμενον ὑπʼ αὐτῆς οὐκ ἐθέλει συνεργεῖν ἀλλὰ λυμαίνεται καὶ προλείπει τὰς πράξεις.
21. But while care for brothers themselves is an excellent thing, yet even more excellent is it to show oneself always well-disposed and obliging in all matters to brothers’ fathers-in-law and brothers-in-law, to salute and treat kindly such of their servants as are loyal to their masters, and to be grateful to physicians who have restored brothers to health and to such faithful friends as have rendered zealous and efficient service to them in sharing the hardships of some journey abroad or military expedition. But a brother’s wife should be esteemed and reverenced as the most holy of all sacred things; if her husband honours her, we should applaud him; if he neglects her, we should sympathize with her annoyance; when she grows angry, soothe her; if she commits some trifling fault, take part in urging her husband to a reconciliation; and if some private difference arise between yourself and your brother, bring your complaints to her and so do away with the reasons for complaint. But above all we should be troubled at a brother’s unmarried and childless state, and by exhortation and raillery take part in pressing him on every side into marriage and in getting him well fastened in the bonds of lawful matrimony. And when he gets children, we should make even more manifest our affection for him and the honour we pay to his wife; and to their children let us be as welldisposed as toward our own, but even more gentle and tender, so that when they err, as children will, they may not run away or, through fear of father or mother, enter into association with knaves or sluggards, but may have recourse and refuge which at once admonishes in a kindly way and intercedes for their offence. It was in this way that Plato reclaimed his nephew Speusippus from great self-indulgence and debauchery, not by either saying or doing to him anything that would cause him pain, but when the young man was avoiding his parents, who were always showing him to be in the wrong and upbraiding him, Plato showed himself friendly and free from anger to Speusippus and so brought about in him great respect and admiration for Plato himself and for philosophy. Yet many of Plato’s friends used to rebuke him for not admonishing the youth, but Plato would say that he was indeed admonishing him: by his own, the philosopher’s, manner of life, showing him a way to distinguish the difference between what is shameful and what is honourable. So Aleuas the Thessalian, who was an arrogant and insolent youth, was kept down and treated harshly by his father; but his uncle received him and attached him to himself, and when the Thessalians sent to the god at Delphi lots to determine who should be king, the uncle, without the father’s knowledge, slipped in a lot for Aleuas. When the Pythian priestess drew the lot of Aleuas, his father denied that he had put in one for him, and to everyone it appeared that there had been some error in the recording of names. So they sent again and questioned the god a second time; and the prophetic priestess, as though to confirm fully her former declaration, answered:It is the red-haired man I mean,The child whom Archedice bore.And in this manner Aleuas was proclaimed king by the god through the help of his father’s brother, and himself surpassed by far his predecessors and advanced his race to great fame and power. And indeed it is an uncle’s duty to rejoice and take pride in the fair deeds and honours and offices of a brother’s sons and to help to give them an incentive to honourable achievement, and, when they succeed, to praise them without stint; for it is, perhaps, offensive to praise one’s own son, yet to praise a brother’s is a noble thing, not inspired by selfishness, but honourable and truly divine; for it seems to me that the very name admirably points the way to goodwill and affection for nephews. And one must also strive to emulate the deeds of those beings who are superior to man. So Heracles, though he begat sixty-eight sons, loved his nephew no less than any of them, and even to this day in many places Iolaüs has an altar in common with Heracles and men pray to them together, calling Iolaüs Heracles’ assistant. And when his brother Iphicles fell at the battle in Lacedaemon, Heracles was filled with great grief and retired from the entire Peloponnesus. And Leucothea, also, when her sister died, brought up her child and helped to have him consecrated together with herself as a god; whence it is that the women of Rome in the festival of Leucothea, whom they call Matuta, take in their arms and honour, not their own, but their sisters’ children.
21. ἐπιμέλεια δὲ καλὴ μὲν αὐτῶν τῶν ἀδελφῶν, ἔτι δὲ καλλίων πενθεροῖς καὶ γαμβροῖς τοῖς ἐκείνων εὔνουν ἀεὶ παρέχειν εἰς ἅπαντα καὶ πρόθυμον ἑαυτόν, οἰκέτας τε φιλοδεσπότους ἀσπάζεσθαι καὶ φιλοφρονεῖσθαι, καὶ χάριν ἔχειν ἰατροῖς θεραπεύσασιν αὐτοὺς καὶ φίλοις πιστοῖς προθύμως καὶ χρησίμως συνδιενεγκοῦσιν ἀποδημίαν ἢ στρατείαν γυναῖκα δʼ ἀδελφοῦ γαμετὴν ὡς ἁπάντων ἱερῶν ἁγιώτατον προσορῶντα καὶ σεβόμενον, τιμᾶν διὰ τὸν ἄνδρα καὶ εὐφημεῖν, ἀμελουμένῃ δὲ συναγανακτεῖν χαλεπαίνουσαν δὲ πραΰνειν ἂν δʼ ἁμάρτῃ τι τῶν μετρίων, συνδιαλλάττειν καὶ συμπαρακαλεῖν τὸν ἄνδρα· κἂν αὐτῷ τις ἰδίᾳ γένηται διαφορὰ πρὸς τὸν ἀδελφόν, αἰτιᾶσθαι παρʼ ἐκείνῃ καὶ διαλύεσθαι τὴν μέμψιν. ἀγαμίαν δʼ ἀδελφοῦ καὶ ἀπαιδίαν μάλιστα δυσχεραίνειν, καὶ παρακαλοῦντα καὶ λοιδοροῦντα συνελαύνειν πανταχόθεν εἰς γάμον καὶ συνειργνύναι νομίμοις κηδεύμασι· κτησαμένου δὲ παῖδας, ἐμφανέστερον χρῆσθαι τῇ τε πρὸς αὐτὸν εὐνοίᾳ καὶ τῇ πρὸς τὴν γυναῖκα τιμῇ. τοῖς δὲ παισὶν εὔνουν μὲν ὥσπερ ἰδίοις ἤπιον δὲ μᾶλλον εἶναι καὶ μειλίχιον, ὅπως ἁμαρτάνοντες οἷα νέοι μὴ δραπετεύωσι μηδὲ καταδύωνται διὰ φόβον πατρὸς ἢ μητρὸς εἰς ὁμιλίας φαύλας καὶ ὀλιγώρους, ἀλλʼ ἀποστροφὴν καὶ καταφυγὴν ἅμα νουθετοῦσαν εὐνοίᾳ καὶ παραιτουμένην ἔχωσιν. οὕτω καὶ Πλάτων ἀδελφιδοῦν ὄντα Σπεύσιππον ἐκ πολλῆς ἀνέσεως καὶ ἀκολασίας ἐπέστρεψεν, οὐδὲν οὔτʼ εἰπὼν ἀνιαρὸν οὔτε ποιήσας πρὸς αὐτόν, ἀλλὰ φεύγοντι, τοὺς γονεῖς ἐλέγχοντας αὐτὸν ἀεὶ καὶ λοιδοροῦντας ἐνδιδοὺς ἑαυτὸν εὐμενῆ καὶ ἀμήνιτον, αἰδῶ τε πολλὴν ἐνειργάσατο καὶ ζῆλον ἑαυτοῦ καὶ φιλοσοφίας. καίτοι πολλοὶ τῶν φίλων ἐνεκάλουν ὡς μὴ νουθετοῦντι τὸ· μειράκιον· ὁ δὲ καὶ πάνυ νουθετεῖν ἔλεγε, τῷ βίῳ καὶ τῇ διαίτῃ τῆς πρὸς τὰ αἰσχρὰ τῶν καλῶν διαφορᾶς παρέχων κατανόησιν. Ἀλεύαν δὲ τὸν Θεσσαλὸν ὁ μὲν πατὴρ ἀγέρωχον ὄντα καὶ ὑβριστὴν ἐκόλουε καὶ χαλεπὸς ἦν, ὁ δὲ θεῖος ἀνελάμβανε καὶ προσήγετο· πεμπόντων δὲ τῶν Θεσσαλῶν φρυκτοὺς περὶ βασιλέως πρὸς τὸν θεὸν εἰς Δελφούς, ἐνέβαλε κρύφα τοῦ πατρὸς ὁ θεῖος ὑπὲρ τοῦ Ἀλεύα· καὶ τῆς Πυθίας τοῦτον ἀνελούσης, ὅ τε πατὴρ ἀπέφησεν ἐμβεβληκέναι τὸν φρυκτὸν ὑπὲρ αὐτοῦ, καὶ πᾶσιν ἐδόκει πλάνη τις ἐν ταῖς καταγραφαῖς τῶν ὀνομάτων γεγονέναι. διὸ καὶ πέμψαντες αὖθις ἐπανήροντο τὸν θεόν· ἡ δὲ Πυθία καθάπερ ἐκβεβαιουμένη τὴν προτέραν ἀναγόρευσιν εἶπε τὸν πυρρόν τοί φημι, τὸν Ἀρχεδίκη τέκε παῖδα. καὶ τοῦτον τὸν τρόπον ὁ Ἀλεύας ὑπὸ τοῦ θεοῦ βασιλεὺς διὰ τὸν τοῦ πατρὸς ἀδελφὸν ἀποδειχθεὶς, αὐτός τε πολὺ πάντων ἐπρώτευσε τῶν πρὸ αὐτοῦ καὶ τὸ ἔθνος εἰς δόξαν προήγαγε μεγάλην καὶ δύναμιν. ἀλλὰ μὴν εὐπραξίαις τε καὶ τιμαῖς καὶ ἀρχαῖς παίδων ἀδελφοῦ χαίροντα καὶ σεμνυνόμενον αὔξειν προσήκει καὶ συνεξορμᾶν πρὸς τὰ καλὰ καὶ κατορθοῦντας ἀφειδῶς ἐπαινεῖν· αὑτοῦ γὰρ υἱὸν ἐπαχθὲς ἴσως ἐγκωμιάζειν, ἀδελφοῦ δὲ σεμνὸν καὶ οὐ φίλαυτον ἀλλὰ φιλόκαλον καὶ θεῖον ὡς ἀληθῶς. δοκεῖ γάρ μοι καὶ τοὔνομα καλῶς ὑφηγεῖσθαι πρὸς εὔνοιαν ἀδελφιδῶν καὶ ἀγάπησιν. δεῖ δὲ καὶ τὰ τῶν κρειττόνων ζηλοῦν· Ἡρακλῆς τε γὰρ δυεῖν δέοντας ἑβδομήκοντα γεννήσας παῖδας, οὐδενὸς ἧττον αὐτῶν τὸν ἀδελφιδοῦν ἠγάπησεν ἀλλὰ καὶ νῦν πολλαχοῦ σύμβωμός ἐστιν Ἰόλαος αὐτῷ, καὶ συγκατεύχονται παραστάτην Ἡρακλέους ὀνομάζοντες. Ἰφικλέους δὲ τοῦ ἀδελφοῦ πεσόντος ἐν τῇ περὶ Λακεδαίμονα μάχῃ, περίλυπος γενόμενος πᾶσαν ἐξέλιπε Πελοπόννησον. ἡ δὲ Λευκοθέα τῆς ἀδελφῆς ἀποθανούσης ἔθρεψε τὸ βρέφος καὶ συνεξεθείασεν· ὅθεν αἱ Ῥωμαίων γυναῖκες ἐν ταῖς τῆς Λευκοθέας ἑορταῖς, ἣν Ματοῦταν ὀνομάζουσιν, οὐ τοὺς ἑαυτῶν παῖδας ἀλλὰ τοὺς τῶν ἀδελφῶν ἐναγκαλίζονται καὶ τιμῶσιν.