1. Some plants there are, in their own nature wild and barren, and hurtful to seed and garden-sets, which yet among able husbandmen pass for infallible signs of a rich and promising soil. In like manner, some passions of the mind not good in themselves yet serve as first shoots and promises of a disposition which is naturally good, and also capable of much improvement by cultivation. Among these I rank bashfulness, the subject of our present discourse; no ill sign indeed, but the cause and occasion of a great deal of harm. For the bashful oftentimes run into the same enormities as the most hardened and impudent, with this difference only, that the former feel a regret for such miscarriages, but the latter take a pleasure and satisfaction therein. The shameless person is without sense of grief for his baseness, and the bashful is in distress at the very appearance of it. For bashfulness is only modesty in the excess, and is aptly enough named δυσωπία (the being put out of countenance), since the face is in some sense confused and dejected with the mind. For as that grief which casts down the eyes is termed dejection, so that kind of modesty which cannot look another in the face is called bashfulness. The orator, speaking of a shameless fellow, said he carried harlots, not virgins, in his eyes; on the other hand, the sheepishly bashful betrays no less the effeminacy and softness of his mind in his looks, palliating his weakness, which exposes him to the mercy of impudence, with the specious name of modesty. Cato indeed was wont to say of young persons, he had a greater opinion of such as were subject to color than of those that looked pale; teaching us thereby to look with greater apprehension on the heinousness of an action than on the reprimand which might follow, and to be more afraid of the suspicion of doing an ill thing than of the danger of it. However, too much anxiety and timidity lest we may do wrong is also to be avoided; because many men have become cowards and been deterred from generous undertakings, no less for fear of calumny and detraction than by the danger or difficulty of such attempts.
1. ἔνια τῶν ἐκ τῆς γῆς φυομένων αὐτὰ μέν ἐστιν ἄγρια τῇ φύσει καὶ ἄκαρπα καὶ βλαβερὰν τοῖς ἡμέροις σπέρμασι καὶ φυτοῖς τὴν αὔξησιν ἔχοντα, σημεῖα δʼ αὐτὰ ποιοῦνται χώρας οἱ γεωργοῦντες οὐ πονηρᾶς ἀλλὰ γενναίας καὶ πίονος· οὕτω δὴ καὶ πάθη ψυχῆς ἐστιν οὐ χρηστά, χρηστῆς δὲ φύσεως οἷον ἐξανθήματα καὶ λόγῳ παρασχεῖν ἐργάσιμον ἑαυτὴν ἐπιεικῶς δυναμένης. ἐν τούτοις τίθεμαι καὶ τὴν λεγομένην δυσωπίαν, σημεῖον μὲν οὐ φαῦλον αἰτίαν δὲ μοχθηρίας οὖσαν. τὰ γὰρ αὐτὰ τοῖς ἀναισχύντοις οἱ· αἰσχυνόμενοι πολλάκις ἁμαρτάνουσι, πλὴν ὅτι τὸ λυπεῖσθαι καὶ ἀλγεῖν ἐφʼ οἷς διαμαρτάνουσι τούτοις πρόσεστιν οὐχ ὡς ἐκείνοις τὸ ἥδεσθαι. ἀναλγὴς μὲν γὰρ ὁ ἀναιδὴς πρὸς τὸ αἰσχρόν, εὐπαθὴς δὲ καὶ πρὸς τὸ φαινόμενον αἰσχρὸν ὁ εὐδυσώπητος. ὑπερβολὴ γὰρ τοῦ αἰσχύνεσθαι τὸ δυσωπεῖσθαι. διὸ καὶ οὕτω κέκληται, τρόπον τινὰ τοῦ προσώπου τῇ ψυχῇ συνδιατρεπομένου καὶ συνεξατονοῦντος. ὡς γὰρ τὴν κατήφειαν ὁρίζονται λύπην κάτω βλέπειν ποιοῦσαν, οὕτω τὴν αἰσχυντηλίαν μέχρι τοῦ μηδʼ ἀντιβλέπειν τοῖς δεομένοις ὑπείκουσαν δυσωπίαν ὠνόμασαν. ὅθεν ὁ μὲν ῥήτωρ τὸν ἀναίσχυντον οὐκ ἔφη κόρας ἐν τοῖς ὄμμασιν ἔχειν ἀλλὰ πόρνας· ὁ δʼ εὐδυσώπητος αὖ πάλιν ἄγαν τὸ θῆλυ τῆς ψυχῆς καὶ τρυφερὸν ἐμφαίνει διὰ τῆς ὄψεως, τὴν ὑπὸ τῶν ἀναισχύντων ὄψιν αἰσχύνην ὑποκοριζόμενος. ὁ μὲν οὖν Κάτων ἔλεγε τῶν νέων μᾶλλον ἀγαπᾶν τοὺς ἐρυθριῶντας ἢ τοὺς ὠχριῶντας, ὀρθῶς ἐθίζων καὶ διδάσκων τὸν ψόγον μᾶλλον ἢ τὸν ἔλεγχον δεδιέναι καὶ τὴν ὑποψίαν μᾶλλον ἢ τὸν κίνδυνον. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῦ πρὸς τὸν ψόγον ὑπόπτου καὶ ψοφοδεοῦς τὸ ἄγαν ἀφαιρετέον, ὡς οὐχ ἧττον ἔνιοι πολλάκις ἀκοῦσαι κακῶς ἢ παθεῖν· δείσαντες ἀπεδειλίασαν, καὶ προήκαντο τὸ καλὸν οὐ δυνηθέντες ὑπομεῖναι τὸ ἄδοξον.
2. While therefore we must not suffer the weakness in the one case to pass unnoticed, neither must we abet or countenance invincible impudence in the other, such as is reported of Anaxarchus,—Whose dog-like carriage and effrontery,Despising infamy, out-faced disgrace.A convenient mien between both is rather to be endeavored after, by repressing the over impudent, and animating the too meek temper. But as this kind of cure is difficult, so is the restraining such excesses not without danger; for as a gardener, in stubbing up some wild or useless bushes, makes at them carelessly with his spade, or burns them off the ground, but in dressing a vine, or grafting an apple, or pruning an olive, carries his hand with the greatest wariness and deliberation, that he may not unluckily injure the tree; so a philosopher, in removing envy, that useless and untractable plant, or covetousness or immoderate love of pleasure from the mind of youth, may cut deep safely, and make a large scar; but if he be to apply his discourse to some more sensible or delicate part, such as the restraining excess of bashfulness, it lies upon him to be very careful not to cut off or eradicate modesty with the contrary vice. For nurses who too often wipe away the dirt from their infants are apt to tear their flesh and put them to pain. And in like manner we must not so far extirpate all bashfulness in youth as to leave them careless or impudent; but as those that pull down private houses adjoining to the temples of the Gods prop up such parts as are contiguous to them, so in undermining bashfulness, due regard is to be had to adjacent modesty, good nature, and humanity. And yet these are the very qualities by which bashfulness insinuates itself and becomes fixed in a man, flattering him that he is good-natured, courteous, and civil, and has common sense, and that he is not obstinate and inexorable. The Stoics, therefore, in their discourses of modesty, distinguish all along betwixt that and bashfulness, leaving not so much as ambiguity of terms for a pretence to the vice. However, asking their good leave, we shall make bold to use such words indifferently in either sense; or rather we shall follow the example of Homer, whose authority we have for it, thatMuch harm oft-times from modesty befalls,Much good oft-times.And it was not done amiss of him to make mention of the hurtfulness of it first, because modesty becomes profitable only through reason, which cuts off what is superfluous and leaves a just mean behind.
2. οὔτε δὴ τούτους περιοπτέον οὕτως ἀσθενῶς ἔχοντας οὔτʼ αὖ πάλιν ἐκείνην ἐπαινετέον τὴν ἄτρεπτον καὶ ἀτενῆ διάθεσιν,ἐν δὲ τὸ θαρσαλέον τε καὶ ἐμμανὲς ὅππη ὀρούσαιφαίνετʼ Ἀναξάρχου κύνεον μένος·ἀλλʼ ἐμμελῆ τινα μηχανητέον σύγκρασιν ἀμφοῖν, τοῦ μὲν ἀτενοῦς ἄγαν τὴν ἀναίδειαν τοῦ δʼ ἐπιεικοῦς σφόδρα τὴν ἀσθένειαν ἀφαιροῦσαν. ᾗ καὶ τὸ θεράπευμα δυσχερὲς καὶ οὐκ ἀκίνδυνος ἡ τῶν τοιούτων πλεονασμῶν κόλουσις· ὡς γὰρ ὁ γεωργὸς ἄγριον μὲν ἐκκόπτων βλάστημα καὶ ἀγεννές, αὐτόθεν ἀφειδῶς ἐμβαλὼν τὸ σκαφεῖον ἀνέτρεψε τὴν ῥίζαν ἢ πῦρ προσαγαγὼν ἐπέκαυσεν ἀμπέλῳ δὲ προσιὼν τομῆς δεομένῃ καὶ μηλέας ἤ τινος ἐλαίας ἁπτόμενος, εὐλαβῶς ἐπιφέρει τὴν χεῖρα, δεδιὼς μή τι τοῦ ὑγιαίνοντος ἀποτυφλώσῃ· οὕτως ὁ φιλόσοφος φθόνον μὲν ἐξαιρῶν νέου ψυχῆς, ἀγεννὲς βλάστημα καὶ δυστιθάσευτον, ἢ φιλαργυρίαν ἄωρον, ἢ φιληδονίαν ἐπικόπτων ἀκόλαστον αἱμάσσει καὶ πιέζει καὶ τομὴν ποιεῖ καὶ οὐλὴν βαθεῖαν ὅταν δὲ τρυφερῷ μέρει ψυχῆς καὶ ἁπαλῷ κολούοντα προσαγάγῃ λόγον, οἷόν ἐστι τὸ δυσωπούμενον καὶ διατρεπόμενον, εὐλαβεῖται μὴ λάθῃ τούτοις συναποκόψας τὸ αἰδούμενον. καὶ γὰρ αἱ τίτθαι τῶν βρεφῶν ἐκτρίβουσαι πολλάκις τὸν ῥύπον ἑλκοῦσιν ἐνίοτε τὴν σάρκα καὶ βασανίζουσιν. ὅθεν οὐ δεῖ τῶν νέων παντάπασιν ἐν χρῷ τὴν δυσωπίαν ἐκτρίβοντας ὀλιγώρους ποιεῖν καὶ λίαν ἀτρέπτους· ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ οἱ καταλύοντες οἰκίας ἱεροῖς γειτνιώσας τά γε συνεχῆ καὶ πλησίον ἐῶσι καὶ διερείδουσιν, οὕτω δεῖ τὴν δυσωπίαν κινεῖν δεδιότας συνεφελκύσασθαι τὰ ὁμοροῦντα τῆς αἰδοῦς καὶ τῆς ἐπιεικείας; καὶ τῆς ἡμερότητος, οἷς ὑποδέδυκε καὶ προσπλέκεται κολακεύουσα τὸν εὐδυσώπητον ὡς φιλάνθρωπον καὶ πολιτικὸν καὶ κοινὸν ἔχοντα νοῦν καὶ οὐκ ἄτεγκτον οὐδʼ αὐθέκαστον. ὅθεν εὐθὺς οἱ Στωικοὶ καὶ τῷ ῥήματι τὸ αἰσχύνεσθαι καὶ δυσωπεῖσθαι τοῦ αἰδεῖσθαι διέστησαν, ἵνα μηδὲ τὴν ὁμωνυμίαν τῷ πάθει πρόφασιν τοῦ βλάπτειν ἀπολίπωσιν. ἀλλʼ ἡμῖν χρῆσθαι τοῖς ὀνόμασιν ἀσυκοφαντήτως δότωσαν, μᾶλλον δʼ Ὁμηρικῶς· καὶ γὰρ ἐκεῖνος εἶπεν αἰδώς, ἣτʼ ἄνδρας μέγα σίνεται ἠδʼ ὀνίνησι· καὶ οὐ κακῶς τὸ βλάπτον αὐτῆς πρότερον εἶπε. γίγνεται γὰρ ὠφέλιμος ὑπὸ λόγου τὸ πλεονάζον ἀφελόντος καὶ τὸ μέτριον ἀπολιπόντος.
3. In the first place, therefore, the bashful man must be persuaded and satisfied that that distemper of the mind is prejudicial to him, and that nothing which is so can be eligible. And withal, he must be cautious how he suffers himself to be cajoled and led by the nose with the titles of courteous or sociable, in exchange for those of grave, great, and just; nor like Pegasus in Euripides, who, when Bellerophon mounted him,With trembling stooped more than his lord desired,must he debase himself and yield to all who make their addresses to him, for fear of appearing hard and ungentle. It is recorded of Bocchoris, king of Egypt, a man of a very cruel nature, that the goddess Isis sent a kind of a serpent (called aspis), which winding itself about his head cast a shadow over him from above, and was a means to him of determining causes according to equity. But bashfulness, on the contrary, happening upon remiss and spiritless tempers, suffers them not to express their dislike of any thing or to argue against it, but perverts many times the sentence of arbitrators, and stops the mouths of skilful pleaders, forcing them often to act and speak contrary to their conviction. And the most reckless man will always tyrannize and domineer over such a one, forcing his bashfulness by his own strength of impudence. Upon this account it is that bashfulness, like a low piece of soft ground, can make no resistance and decline no encounter, but is exposed to the meanest actions and vilest passions. But, above all, this is the worst guardian of raw and inexperienced youth. For, as Brutus said, he seems to have had but an ill education that has not learned to deny any’ thing. And no better overseer is it of the marriage-bed or the woman’s apartment; as the repentant lady in Sophocles accuses the spark that had debauched her,—Thy tongue, thy flattering tongue prevailed.So this vice, happening upon a disposition inclinable to debauchery, prepares and opens the way, and leaves all things easy and accessible to such as are ready to prefer their wicked designs. Presents and treats are irresistible baits for common mercenary creatures; but importunity, befriended with bashfulness on their side, has sometimes undone the modestest women. I omit what inconveniences this kind of modesty occasions, when it obliges men to lend their money to such whose credit is blown upon in the world, or to give bail for those they dare not trust; we do this, it is true, with an ill-will, and in our heart reflect upon that old saying, Be bail, and pay for it, yet cannot make use of it in our practice.
3. πρῶτον οὖν τοῦτο δεῖ πείθεσθαι τὸν ὑπὸ πολλῆς δυσωπίας βιαζόμενον, ὅτι πάθει βλαβερῷ συνέχεται· καλὸν δὲ τῶν βλαβερῶν οὐδέν· οὐδὲ δεῖ τοῖς ἐπαίνοις κηλούμενον ἥδεσθαι κομψὸν καὶ ἱλαρὸν ἀντὶ σεμνοῦ καὶ μεγάλου καὶ δικαίου προσαγορευόμενον μηδʼ, ὥσπερ ὁ Εὐριπίδου Πήγασος ἔπτησσʼ ὑπείκων μᾶλλον εἱ μᾶλλον θέλοι τῷ Βελλεροφόντῃ, τοῖς δεομένοις ἑαυτὸν ἐκδιδόναι·, καὶ συνεκταπεινοῦν, φοβούμενον ἀκοῦσαι τὸ σκληρὸς γε καὶ ἀπηνής. τῷ μὲν γὰρ Αἰγυπτίῳ Βοκχόριδι φύσει χαλεπῷ γενομένῳ τὴν ἀσπίδα λέγουσιν ὑπὸ τῆς Ἴσιδος ἐπιπεμφθεῖσαν καὶ τῇ κεφαλῇ περιελιχθεῖσαν ἄνωθεν ἐπισκιάζειν, ἵνα κρίνῃ δικαίως ἡ δέ γε δυσωπία τοῖς ἀτόνοις καὶ ἀνάνδροις ἐπικειμένη καὶ πρὸς μηδὲν ἀνανεῦσαι μηδʼ ἀντειπεῖν ἰσχύουσα, καὶ δικάζοντας ἀποτρέπει τοῦ δικαίου καὶ συμβουλεύοντας ἐπιστομίζει καὶ λέγειν πολλὰ καὶ πράττειν ἀναγκάζει τῶν ἀβουλήτων ὁ δʼ ἀγνωμονέστατος ἀεὶ τοῦ τοιούτου δεσπότης ἐστὶ καὶ κρατεῖ, τῷ μὴ αἰδεῖσθαι τὸ αἰδούμενον ἐκβιαζόμενος. ὅθεν ὥσπερ χωρίον ὕπτιον καὶ μαλακὸν ἡ δυσωπία μηδεμίαν ἔντευξιν ἐξῶσαι μηδʼ ἀποστρέψαι δυναμένη τοῖς αἰσχίστοις βάσιμός ἐστι πάθεσι καὶ πράγμασι· κακὴ μὲν γὰρ αὕτη παιδικῆς φρουρὸς ἡλικίας, ὡς ἔλεγε Βροῦτος οὐ δοκεῖν αὐτῷ καλῶς τὴν ὥραν διατεθεῖσθαι τὸν πρὸς μηδὲν ἀρνούμενον κακὴ δὲ θαλάμου καὶ γυναικωνίτιδος ἐπίτροπος, ὥς φησιν ἡ παρὰ τῷ Σοφοκλεῖ μετανοοῦσα πρὸς τὸν μοιχὸν ἔπεισας, ἐξέθωψας. ὥστʼ· ἡ δυσωπία προδιαφθείρουσα τὸ ἀκόλαστον ἀνώχυρα πάντα καὶ ἄκλειστα καὶ κατάντη προδίδωσι τοῖς ἐπιτιθεμένοις. καὶ διδόντες μὲν αἱροῦσι τὰς βδελυρωτάτας; τῶν φύσεων, τῷ δὲ πείθειν καὶ δυσωπεῖν πολλάκις κατεργάζονται καὶ τὰς ἐπιεικεῖς. ἐῶ δὲ τὰς εἰς τὰ χρήματα βλάβας ὑπὸ τοῦ δυσωπεῖσθαι, δανειζόντων οἷς ἀπιστοῦσιν ἐγγυωμένων οἷς οὐκ ἐθέλουσιν, ἐπαινούντων μὲν τὸ ἐγγύα πάρα δʼ ἄτα χρῆσθαι δʼ αὐτῷ παρὰ τὰ πράγματα μὴ δυναμένων.
4. How many this fault.has ruined, it is no easy thing to recount. Creon in the play gave a very good lesson for others to follow, when he told Medea,—’Tis better now to brave thy direst hate,Than curse a foolish easiness too late.Yet afterwards, being wrought upon through his bashfulness to grant her but one day longer, he ruined himself and family by it. For the same reason, some, suspecting designs against them of murder or poisoning, have neglected to provide for their safety. Thus Dion could not be ignorant of the treachery of Callippus, yet thought it unfit to entertain such thoughts of his pretended friend and guest, and so perished. So again, Antipater, the son of Cassander, having entertained Demetrius at supper, and being engaged by him for the next night, because he was unwilling to distrust one who had trusted him, went, and had his throat cut after supper. Polysperchon had promised Cassander for an hundred talents to murder Hercules, the son of Alexander by Barsine. Upon this he invites him to sup; but the young man, having some suspicion of the thing, pretends himself indisposed. Polysperchon coming to him said: Sir, above all things endeavor after your father’s courteous behavior and obliging way to his friends, unless haply you look on us with suspicion as if we were compassing your health. The young man out of mere modesty was prevailed upon to go, and was strangled as he sat at meat. It is not therefore (as some will have us believe) insignificant or ridiculous, but on the contrary very wise advice, which Hesiod gives,—Welcome a friend, but never call thy foe. Be not bashful and mealy-mouthed in refusing him that you are satisfied has a pique against you; but never reject him that seemeth to put his trust in you. For if you invite, you must expect to be invited again; and some time or other your entertainment will be repaid you, if bashfulness have once softened or turned the edge of that diffidence which ought to be your guard.
4. ὅσους δʼ ἀνῄρηκε τοῦτο τὸ πάθος, οὐκ ἄν τις ἐξαριθμήσαιτο ῥᾳδίως. καὶ γὰρ ὁ Κρέων πρὸς τὴν Μήδειαν εἰπὼνκρεῖσσον δὲ μοι νῦν πρὸς σʼ ἀπέχθεσθαι, γύναι,ἢ μαλθακισθένθʼ ὕστερον μέγα στένεινἄλλοις ἐγνωμολόγησεν, αὐτὸς δὲ τῆς δυσωπίας ἥττων γενόμενος καὶ μίαν ἡμέραν αἰτουμένῃ δοὺς ἀπώλεσε τὸν οἶκον. ἔνιοι δὲ καὶ σφαγὰς ὑφορώμενοι καὶ φαρμακείας, διετράπησαν. οὕτω παραπώλετο Δίων, οὐκ ἀγνοήσας; ἐπιβουλεύοντα Κάλλιππον ἀλλʼ αἰσχυνθεὶς φυλάττεσθαι φίλον ὄντα καὶ ξένον. οὕτως Ἀντίπατρος ὁ Κασάνδρου Δημήτριον καλέσας ἐπὶ δεῖπνον εἶτα κληθεὶς τῇ ὑστεραίᾳ πρὸς αὐτὸν ᾐδέσθη πεπιστευμένος ἀπιστεῖν, καὶ πορευθεὶς ἐσφάγη μετὰ τὸ δεῖπνον. Ἡρακλέα δὲ τὸν Ἀλεξάνδρῳ γενόμενον ἐκ Βαρσίνης ὡμολόγησε μὲν Κασάνδρῳ Πολυσπέρχων ἀναιρήσειν ἐπὶ ταλάντοις ἑκατὸν εἶτʼ ἐπὶ δεῖπνον ἐκάλει· τοῦ δὲ μειρακίου τὴν κλῆσιν ὑφορωμένου καὶ δεδοικότος ἄλλως δὲ προφασιζομένου μαλακώτερον ἔχειν, ἐλθὼν ὁ Πολυσπέρχων πρῶτον εἶπεν ὦ παῖ, μιμοῦ τοῦ πατρὸς τὸ εὔκολον καὶ φιλέταιρον, εἰ μὴ νὴ Δία δέδοικας ἡμᾶς ὡς ἐπιβουλεύοντας. αἰδεσθεὶς; οὖν ἠκολούθησεν ὁ νεανίσκος, οἱ δὲ δειπνίσαντες αὐτὸν ἐστραγγάλισαν. οὐ γελοῖον οὖν, ὥς φασί τινες, οὐδʼ ἀβέλτερον ἀλλὰ σοφὸν τὸ τοῦ Ἡσιόδου τὸν φιλέοντʼ ἐπὶ δαῖτα καλεῖν τὸν δʼ ἐχθρὸν ἐᾶσαι. μὴ δυσωποῦ τὸν μισοῦντα μηδʼ ὑπαίκαλλε πιστεύειν δοκοῦντα· κληθήσῃ γὰρ καλέσας καὶ δειπνήσεις, ἂν δειπνίσῃς, ὥσπερ βαφὴν τὴν φυλάττουσαν ἀπιστίαν μαλαχθεῖσαν αἰσχύνῃ προέμενος.
5. To the end therefore that we may get the better of this disease, which is the cause of so many evils, we must make our first attempts (as our custom is in other things) upon matters of no great difficulty. As, if one drink to you after you have taken what is sufficient, be not so foolishly modest to do violence to your nature, but rather venture to pass the glass. Another, it may be, would tempt you to play at dice while drinking; be not over-persuaded into a compliance, for fear of being the subject of his drollery, but reply with Xenophanes, when Lasus of Hermione called him coward because he refused to play at dice: Yes, said he, I confess myself the greatest coward in the world, for I dare not do an ill thing. Again, you light upon an impertinent talker, that sticks upon you like a burr; don’t be bashful, but break off the discourse. and pursue your business. These evasions and repulses, whereby our resolution and assurance are exercised in matters of less moment, will accustom us to it by degrees in greater occasions. And here it will be but seasonable to give you a passage, as it is recorded of Demosthenes. The Athenians having one time been moved to send succors to Harpalus, and themselves to engage in a war against Alexander, it happened that Philoxenus, Alexander’s admiral, unexpectedly arrived on their coast; and the people being so astonished as to be speechless for very fear, Demosthenes cried out: How would they endure the sun, who are not able to look against a lamp! Or how would you comport yourself in weightier concerns, while you prince or the people had an awe over you, if you cannot refuse a glass of wine when an acquaintance offers it, or turn off an impertinent babbler, but suffer the eternal trifler to walk over you without telling him, Another time, good sir, at present I am in haste.
5. ὡς οὖν πολλῶν κακῶν αἴτιον τὸ νόσημα τοῦτʼ ὂν πειρατέον ἀποβιάζεσθαι τῇ ἀσκήσει, πρῶτον ἀρξαμένους ὥσπερ οἱ τἄλλα μελετῶντες ἀπὸ τῶν μικρῶν καὶ μὴ σφόδρα δυσαντιβλέπτων· οἷον ἐν δείπνῳ προπίνει τις ἅδην ἔχοντι· μὴ δυσωπηθῇς μηδὲ προσβιάσῃ σαυτόν, ἀλλὰ κατάθου τὸ ποτήριον. αὖθις ἕτερος παρακαλεῖ κυβεύειν παρὰ πότον· μὴ δυσωπηθῇς· μηδὲ δείσῃς σκωπτόμενος· ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ Ξενοφάνης, Λάσου τοῦ Ἑρμιονέως μὴ βουλόμενον αὐτῷ συγκυβεύειν δειλὸν ἀποκαλοῦντος, ὡμολόγει καὶ πάνυ δειλὸς εἶναι πρὸς τὰ αἰσχρὰ καὶ ἄτολμος. πάλιν ἀδολέσχῳ συνήντηκας ἐπιλαμβανομένῳ· καὶ περιπλεκομένῳ· μὴ δυσωπηθῇς ἀλλὰ διακόψας ἐπείγου καὶ πέραινε τὸ προκείμενον. αἱ γὰρ τοιαῦται φυγαὶ καὶ διακρούσεις, ἐν ἐλαφραῖς μέμψεσι τὴν μελέτην ἔχουσαι τοῦ ἀδυσωπήτου, προεθίζουσιν ἡμᾶς ἐπὶ τὰ μείζονα. καὶ τὸ τοῦ Δημοσθένους ἐνταῦθα καλῶς ἔχει διαμνημονεύειν· τῶν γὰρ Ἀθηναίων ὡρμημένων Ἁρπάλῳ βοηθεῖν καὶ κορυσσομένων ἐπὶ τὸν Ἀλέξανδρον, ἐξαίφνης ἐπεφάνη Φιλόξενος ὁ τῶν ἐπὶ θαλάττῃ πραγμάτων Ἀλεξάνδρου στρατηγός. ἐκπλαγέντος δὲ τοῦ δήμου καὶ σιωπῶντος διὰ τὸν φόβον, ὁ Δημοσθένης τί ποιήσουσιν ἔφη τὸν ἥλιον ἰδόντες οἱ μὴ δυνάμενοι πρὸς τὸν λύχνον ἀντιβλέπειν; τί γὰρ ποιήσεις ἐν πράγμασι μεγάλοις, βασιλέως ἐντυγχάνοντος ἢ δήμου δυσωποῦντος, εἰ ποτήριον ἀπώσασθαι μὴ δύνασαι προπίνοντος συνήθους μηδʼ ἀδολέσχου λαβὴν διαφυγεῖν, ἀλλὰ παρέχεις ἐμπεριπατεῖν φλυάρῳ σαυτόν, οὐκ εὐτονῶν εἰπεῖν ὄψομαί σʼ αὖθις, νῦν δʼ οὐ σχολάζω;
6. Besides all this, the exercising such a resolution is of great use in praising others. If one of my friend’s harpers play lewdly, or a comedian he has hired at a great rate murder a piece of Menander in the acting, although the vulgar clap their hands and admire, I think it no moroseness or ill-breeding to sit silently all the while, without servilely joining in the common applauses contrary to my judgment. For if you scruple to deal openly with him in these cases, what will you do, should he repeat to you an insipid composition of his own, or submit to your revisal a ridiculous oration? You will applaud, of course, and enter yourself into the list of common parasites and flatterers! But how then can you direct him impartially in the greatest administrations of his life? how be free with him where he fails in any duties of his trust or marriage, or neglects the offices incumbent on him as a member of the community? I must confess, I cannot by any means approve of the reply Pericles made to a friend who besought him to give false evidence, and that too upon oath, when he thus answered: As far as the altar I am wholly at your service. Methinks he went too far. But he that has long before accustomed himself not to commend any thing against his judgment, or applaud an ill voice, or seem pleased with indecent scurrilities, will never suffer things to come to that issue; nor will any one be so bold as to solicit him in this manner: Swear on my side, give false evidence, or bring in an unjust verdict.
6. καὶ μὴν οὐδʼ ἡ πρὸς τοὺς ἐπαίνους τοῦ ἀδυσωπήτου μελέτη καὶ ἄσκησις ἐν μικροῖς καὶ ἐλαφροῖς ἄχρηστός ἐστιν. οἷον ἐν συμποσίῳ φίλου κιθαρῳδὸς ᾄδει κακῶς ἢ πολλοῦ κωμῳδὸς ἐωνημένος ἐπιτρίβει Μένανδρον, οἱ δὲ πολλοὶ κροτοῦσι καὶ θαυμάζουσιν·· οὐδὲν οἶμαι χαλεπὸν οὐδὲ δύσκολον ἀκούειν σιωπῇ καὶ μὴ παρὰ τὸ φαινόμενον ἀνελευθέρως ἐπαινεῖν. ἐὰν γὰρ ἐν τούτοις μὴ κρατῇς σαυτοῦ, τί ποιήσεις φίλου ποίημα φαῦλον ἀναγιγνώσκοντος ἢ λόγον ἐπιδεικνυμένου γεγραμμένον ἀβελτέρως καὶ γελοίως; ἐπαινέσεις δηλονότι καὶ συνεπιθορυβήσεις τοῖς κολακεύουσι. πῶς οὖν ἐν πράγμασιν ἁμαρτάνοντος ἐπιλήψῃ; πῶς δὲ περὶ ἀρχὴν ἢ γάμον ἢ πολιτείαν ἀγνωμονοῦντα νουθετήσεις; ἐγὼ μὲν γὰρ οὐδὲ τὸ τοῦ Περικλέους ἀποδέχομαι, πρὸς τὸν ἀξιοῦντα μαρτυρίαν ψευδῆ μαρτυρῆσαι φίλον, προσῆν καὶ ὅρκος, εἰπόντος μέχρι τοῦ βωμοῦ φίλος εἰμί· λίαν γὰρ ἐγγὺς ἦλθεν. ὁ δὲ πόρρωθεν ἑαυτὸν ἐθίσας μήτε λέγοντος ἐπαινεῖν παρὰ γνώμην μήτε ᾅδοντος κροτεῖν μήτε σκώπτοντος ἀφυῶς ἐπιγελᾶν, οὐκ ἐάσει μέχρι τούτου προελθεῖν οὐδʼ εἰπεῖν πρὸς τὸν ἐν ἐκείνοις ἀδυσώπητον ὄμοσον ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ καὶ τὰ ψευδῆ μαρτύρησον καὶ ἀπόφηναι παρὰ τὸ δίκαιον.
7. After the same manner we may learn to refuse such as come to borrow considerable sums of us, if we have used to deny in little matters where refusal is easy. As Archelaus, king of Macedon, sat at supper, one of his retinue, a fellow who thought there was nothing so honest as to receive, begged of him a golden cup. But the king commanded a waiter to give it immediately to Euripides: For you, sir, said he, are fit indeed to ask any thing, but to receive nothing; and he deserves to receive, though he lacks the confidence to ask. Thus wisely did he make his judgment, and not bashful timidity, his guide in bestowing favors. Yet we oftentimes, when the honesty, nearness, and necessities of our friends and relations are not motives sufficient to prevail with us to their relief, can give profusely to impudence and importunity, not out of any willingness to bestow our money so ill, but merely for want of confidence and resolution to deny. This was the case of Antigonus the elder. Being wearied out with the importunity of Bias, Give, said he to his servants, one talent to Bias and necessity. Yet at other times he was as expert at encountering such addresses as any prince, and dismissed them with as remarkable answers. Thus a certain Cynic one day begging of him a groat, he made answer, That is not for a prince to give. And the poor man replying, Then bestow a talent, he reparteed briskly, Nor that for a Cynic (or, for a dog) to receive. Diogenes went about begging to all the statues in the Ceramicus; and his answer to some that wondered at his fancy in it was, he was practising how to bear a repulse. But indeed it chiefly lies upon us to exercise ourselves in smaller matters to refuse an unreasonable request, that we may not be at loss how to refuse on occasions of greater magnitude. For no one, as Demosthenes says, who has spent all the money that he had in unnecessary expenses, will have plenty of money that he has not for his necessary expenses. And our disgrace is increased many fold, if we want what is necessary or decent, and abound in trifles and fopperies.
7. οὕτω δὲ δεῖ καὶ πρὸς τοὺς αἰτοῦντας ἀργύριον ἀνταίρειν, προεθιζόμενον ἐν τοῖς μήτε μεγάλοις μήτε δυσπαραιτήτοις. Ἀρχέλαος μὲν γὰρ ὁ τῶν Μακεδόνων βασιλεὺς παρὰ δεῖπνον αἰτηθεὶς ἔκπωμα χρυσοῦν ὑπʼ ἀνθρώπου μηδὲν ἡγουμένου καλὸν ἢ τὸ λαμβάνειν, ἐκέλευσεν Εὐριπίδῃ τὸν παῖδα δοῦναι, καὶ πρὸς τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἐκεῖνον ἀποβλέψας σὺ μὲν εἶπεν αἰτεῖν ἐπιτήδειος εἶ καὶ μὴ λαμβάνων, οὗτος δὲ λαμβάνειν καὶ μὴ αἰτῶν ἄριστα τοῦ διδόναι καὶ χαρίζεσθαι κύριον ποιῶν τὸ κρῖνον ἀλλὰ μὴ τὸ δυσωπούμενον. ἡμεῖς δὲ πολλάκις ἀνθρώπους ἐπιεικεῖς καὶ οἰκείους καὶ δεομένους περιορῶντες ἑτέροις αἰτοῦσιν ἐνδελεχῶς καὶ ἰταμῶς ἐδώκαμεν, οὐ δοῦναι θελήσαντες ἀλλʼ ἀρνήσασθαι μὴ δυνηθέντες. ὥσπερ Ἀντίγονος ὁ γέρων ὑπὸ Βίαντος ἐνοχληθεὶς πολλάκις δότʼ εἶπε Βίαντι τάλαντον καὶ ἀνάγκῃ· καίτοι μάλιστα τῶν βασιλέων ἐμμελὴς ἦν καὶ πιθανὸς ἀποτρίβεσθαι τὰ τοιαῦτα. κυνικοῦ γάρ ποτε δραχμὴν αἰτήσαντος αὐτόν ἀλλʼ οὐ βασιλικόν ἔφη τὸ δόμα· τοῦ δʼ ὑποτυχόντος δὸς οὖν μοι τάλαντον ἀπήντησεν ἀλλʼ οὐ κυνικὸν τὸ λῆμμα Διογένης μὲν οὖν τοὺς ἀνδριάντας ᾔτει περιιὼν ἐν Κεραμεικῷ καὶ πρὸς τοὺς θαυμάζοντας ἔλεγεν ἀποτυγχάνειν μελετᾶν ἡμῖν δὲ πρῶτον ἐμμελετητέον ἐστὶ τοῖς φαύλοις καὶ γυμναστέον περὶ τὰ μικρά, πρὸς τὸ ἀρνεῖσθαι τοῖς αἰτοῦσιν οὐ προσηκόντως ληψομένοις· ὡς ἂν μείζοσιν ἀποτεύξεσιν ἐπικουρεῖν ἔχωμεν. οὐδεὶς γάρ ὡς ὁ Δημοσθένης φησὶν εἰς ἃ μὴ δεῖ καταναλώσας τὰ παρόντα τῶν μὴ παρόντων εὐπορήσει πρὸς ἃ δεῖ. γίγνεται δʼ ἡμῖν πολλαπλάσιον τὸ αἰσχρόν, ὅταν ἐλλίπωμεν πρὸς τὰ καλά, πλεονάσαντες τοῖς περιττοῖς.
8. Yet bashfulness is not only a bad steward of our estate, but even in weightier concerns it refuses to hearken to the wholesome advice of right reason. Thus, in a dangerous fit of sickness, we send not to the ablest physician, for fear of giving offence to another of our acquaintance. Or, in taking tutors and governors for our children, we make choice of such as obtrude themselves upon us, not such as are better qualified for that service. Or, in our lawsuits, we regard not to obtain counsel learned in the law, because we must gratify the son of some friend or relation, and give him an opportunity to show himself in the world. Nay, lastly, you shall find some that bear the name of philosophers, who call themselves Epicureans or Stoics, not out of choice, or upon the least conviction, but merely to oblige their friends or acquaintance, who have taken advantage of their modesty. Since then the case is so with us, we ought to prepare and exercise ourselves in things that we daily meet with and of course, not so much as indulging that foolish weakness in the choice of a barber or fuller, or in lodging in a paltry inn when better accommodation is to be had, to oblige the landlord who has cringed to us. But if it be merely to break ourselves of such follies, in those cases still we should make use of the best, though the difference be but inconsiderable; as the Pythagoreans were strict in observing not to cross their right knee with the left, or to use an even number with an odd, though all things else were indifferent. We must observe also, when we celebrate a sacrifice or keep a wedding or make a public entertainment, to deny ourselves so far as not to invite any that have been extremely complacent to us or that put themselves upon us, before those who are known for their good-humor or whose conversation is like to prove beneficial. For he that has accustomed himself thus far will hardly be caught and surprised, nay, rather he shall not so much as be tempted, in greater instances.
8. ἐπεὶ δʼ οὐ χρημάτων μόνον ἡ δυσωπία κακὴ καὶ ἀγνώμων οἰκονόμος ἐστίν, ἀλλὰ καὶ περὶ τὰ μείζονα παραιρεῖται τὸ συμφέρον τοῦ λογισμοῦ· καὶ γὰρ ἰατρὸν νοσοῦντες οὐ παρακαλοῦμεν τὸν ἔμπειρον αἰσχυνόμενοι τὸν συνήθη, καὶ παισὶ διδασκάλους ἀντὶ τῶν χρηστῶν τοὺς παρακαλοῦντας αἱρούμεθα, καὶ δίκην ἔχοντες πολλάκις οὐκ ἐῶμεν εἰπεῖν τὸν ὠφέλιμον καὶ ἀγοραῖον, ἀλλʼ οἰκείου τινὸς ἢ συγγενοῦς υἱῷ χαριζόμενοι παρεδώκαμεν ἐμπανηγυρίσαι· τέλος δὲ πολλοὺς ἔστιν ἰδεῖν καὶ τῶν φιλοσοφεῖν λεγομένων, Ἐπικουρείους καὶ Στωικοὺς ὄντας, οὐχ ἑλομένους οὐδὲ κρίναντας ἀλλὰ προσθεμένους δυσωποῦσιν οἰκείοις καὶ φίλοις· φέρε δὴ καὶ πρὸς ταῦτα πόρρωθεν ἐν τοῖς ἐπιτυχοῦσι καὶ μικροῖς γυμνάζωμεν ἑαυτούς, ἐθίζοντες μήτε κουρεῖ μήτε γναφεῖ κατὰ δυσωπίαν χρῆσθαι μηδὲ καταλύειν· ἐν φαύλῳ πανδοκείῳ, βελτίονος παρόντος, ὅτι πολλάκις ὁ πανδοκεὺς ἠσπάσαθʼ ἡμᾶς· ἀλλʼ ἔθους ἕνεκα, κἂν ᾖ παρὰ μικρόν, αἱρεῖσθαι τὸ βέλτιον· ὥσπερ οἱ Πυθαγορικοὶ παρεφύλαττον ἀεὶ μηδέποτε τῷ δεξιῷ μηρῷ τὸν εὐώνυμον ἐπιτιθέναι, μηδὲ τὸν ἄρτιον ἀντὶ τοῦ περιττοῦ λαβεῖν, τῶν ἄλλων ἐπʼ ἴσης ἐχόντων. ἐθιστέον δέ, καὶ θυσίαν ποιούμενον ἢ γάμον ἤ τινα ἄλλην τοιαύτην ὑποδοχὴν μὴ τὸν ἀσπασάμενον καλεῖν ἢ προσδραμόντα μᾶλλον ἢ τὸν εὔνουν καὶ χρηστόν· ὁ γὰρ οὕτως ἐθισθεὶς καὶ ἀσκήσας δυσάλωτος ἔσται, μᾶλλον δʼ ὅλως ἀνεπιχείρητος ἐν τοῖς μείζοσι.
9. And thus much may suffice concerning exercising ourselves. My first use of what has been said is to observe, that all passions and distempers of the mind are still accompanied with those very evils which by their means we hoped to avoid. Thus disgrace pursues ambition; pain and indisposition, sensuality; softness and effeminacy are fretted with troubles; contentiousness with disappointment and defeats. But this is nowhere more conspicuous than in bashfulness, which, endeavoring to avoid the smoke of reproach, throws itself into the fire. Such men, wanting confidence to withstand those that unreasonably importune them, afterwards feel shame before those who justly accuse them, and for fear of a slight private rebuke incur more public disgrace. For example, not having the heart to deny a friend that comes to borrow, in short time they are reduced to the same extremity themselves, and exposed openly. Some again, after promising to help friends in a lawsuit, are ashamed to face the opposite party, and are forced to hide their heads and run away. Many have been so unreasonably weak in this particular as to accept of disadvantageous proposals of marriage for a daughter or sister, and upon second thoughts have been forced to bring themselves off with an arrant lie.
9. περὶ μὲν οὖν ἀσκήσεως ἱκανὰ καὶ ταῦτα· τῶν δὲ χρησίμων ἐπιλογισμῶν πρῶτός ἐστιν ὁ διδάσκων καὶ ὑπομιμνήσκων, ὅτι πᾶσι μὲν τοῖς πάθεσιν ἀκολουθεῖ καὶ τοῖς νοσήμασιν ἃ φεύγειν διʼ αὐτῶν δοκοῦμεν, ἀδοξίαι φιλοδοξίαις καὶ λῦπαι φιληδονίαις καὶ πόνοι μαλακίαις καὶ φιλονικίαις ἧτται καὶ καταδίκαι· τῇ δὲ δυσωπίᾳ συμβέβηκεν ἀτεχνῶς φευγούσῃ καπνὸν ἀδοξίας εἰς πῦρ ἐμβάλλειν ἑαυτήν. αἰσχυνόμενοι γὰρ ἀντιλέγειν τοῖς ἀγνωμόνως δυσωποῦσιν ὕστερον δυσωποῦνται τοὺς δικαίως ἐγκαλοῦντας, καὶ δεδιότες μέμψιν ἐλαφρὰν πολλάκις αἰσχύνην ὁμολογουμένην ὑπομένουσι. καὶ γὰρ αἰτοῦντος ἀργύριον φίλου δυσωπηθέντες ἀντειπεῖν οὐκ ἔχοντες, ἀσχημονοῦσι μετʼ ὀλίγον ἐξελεγχόμενοι καὶ βοηθήσειν ὁμολογήσαντες ἐνίοις δίκην ἔχουσιν, εἶτα τοὺς ἑτέρους διατραπέντες ἀποκρύπτονται καὶ δραπετεύουσι. πολλοὺς δὲ καὶ περὶ γάμου θυγατρὸς ἢ ἀδελφῆς εἰς ὁμολογίαν ἀλυσιτελῆ κατακλείσασα δυσωπία ψεύδεσθαι πάλιν ἀναγκάζει μετατιθεμένους.