---
title: "Consolation to His Wife · Consolatio ad uxorem"
author: "Plutarch"
translator: "Thomas Creech, rev. William W. Goodwin"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Philosophy"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-consolation-to-his-wife/
cite: "Plutarch, tr. Thomas Creech, rev. William W. Goodwin, Consolation to His Wife · Consolatio ad uxorem. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-consolation-to-his-wife/"
---

# Consolation to His Wife · Consolatio ad uxorem

*Plutarch, tr. Thomas Creech, rev. William W. Goodwin*

Plutarch writes to his wife on the death of their two-year-old daughter Timoxena.

> Greek: ed. Grēgorios N. Vernardakēs, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0007.tlg111, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Thomas Creech, rev. William W. Goodwin, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0007.tlg111.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Sections 1–11](https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-consolation-to-his-wife/1.md)

## 1. Sections 1–11

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-consolation-to-his-wife/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-consolation-to-his-wife/1/#p-N

[¶0] 1. As for the messenger you despatched to tell me of the death of my little daughter, it seems he missed his way as he was going to Athens. But when I came to Tanagra, I heard of it by my niece. I suppose by this time the funeral is over. I wish that whatever has been done may create you no dissatisfaction, as well now as hereafter. But if you have designedly let any thing alone, depending upon my judgment, thinking better to determine the point if I were with you, I pray let it be without ceremony and timorous superstition, which I know are far from you.

> Greek: 1. ὅν ἔπεμψας ἀπαγγελοῦντα περὶ τῆς τοῦ παιδίου τελευτῆς·, ἔοικε διημαρτηκέναι καθʼ ὁδὸν εἰς Ἀθήνας πορευόμενος· ἐγὼ δʼ εἰς Τάναγραν ἐλθὼν ἐπυθόμην παρὰ τῆς θυγατριδῆς. τὰ μὲν οὖν περὶ τὴν ταφὴν ἤδη νομίζω γεγονέναι· γεγονότα δʼ ἐχέτω ὥς σοι μέλλει καὶ νῦν ἀλυπότατα καὶ πρὸς τὸ λοιπὸν ἕξειν. εἰ δέ τι βουλομένη μὴ πεποίηκας ἀλλὰ μένεις τὴν ἐμὴν γνώμην, οἴει δὲ κουφότερον οἴσειν γενομένου· καὶ τοῦτʼ ἔσται δίχα πάσης περιεργίας καὶ δεισιδαιμονίας, ὧν ἥκιστά σοι μέτεστι.

[¶1] 2. Only, dear wife, let you and me bear our affliction with patience. I know very well and do comprehend what loss we have had; but if I should find you grieve beyond measure, this would trouble me more than the thing itself. For I had my birth neither from a stock nor a stone; and you know it full well, I having been assistant to you in the education of so many children, which we brought up at home under our own care. This daughter was born after four sons, when you were longing to bear a daughter; which made me call her by your own name. Therefore I know she was particularly dear to you. And grief must have a peculiar pungency in a mind tenderly affectionate to children, when you call to mind how naturally witty and innocent she was, void of anger, and not querulous. She was naturally mild, and compassionate to a miracle. And her gratitude and kindness not only gave us delight, but also manifested her generous nature; for she would pray her nurse to give suck, not only to other children, but to her very playthings, as it were courteously inviting them to her table, and making the best cheer for them she could.

> Greek: 2. μόνον, ὦ γύναι, τήρει κἀμὲ τῷ πάθει καὶ σεαυτὴν ἐπὶ τοῦ καθεστῶτος. ἐγὼ γὰρ αὐτὸς μὲν οἶδα καὶ ὁρίζω τὸ συμβεβηκὸς ἡλίκον ἐστίν· ἂν δὲ σε τῷ δυσφορεῖν ὑπερβάλλουσαν εὕρω, τοῦτό μοι μᾶλλον ἐνοχλήσει τοῦ γεγονότος. καίτοι οὐδʼ αὐτὸς ἀπὸ δρυὸς οὐδʼ ἀπὸ πέτρης ἐγενόμην οἶσθα δὲ καὶ αὐτή, τοσούτων μοι παιδίων ἀνατροφῆς κοινωνήσασα, πάντων ἐκτεθραμμένων οἴκοι διʼ αὐτῶν ἡμῶν· τούτου δέ, ὅτι καὶ σοὶ ποθούσῃ θυγάτηρ μετὰ τέσσαρας υἱοὺς ἐγεννήθη κἀμοὶ τὸ σὸν ὄνομα θέσθαι ποθούμενον ἑν αὐτῇ παρέσχεν, ἀγαπητοῦ διαφερόντως μοι γενομένου. πρόσεστι δὲ καὶ δριμύτης ἰδία τις τῷ πρὸς τὰ τηλικαῦτα φιλοστόργῳ, καὶ τὸ εὐφραῖνον αὐτῶν καθαρόν ἐστι καὶ πάσης ἀμιγὲς ὀργῆς καὶ μέμψεως. αὕτη δὲ καὶ φύσει θαυμαστὴν ἔσχεν εὐκολίαν καὶ πραότητα, καὶ τὸ ἀντιφιλοῦν καὶ χαριζόμενον αὐτῆς ἡδονὴν ἅμα καὶ κατανόησιν τοῦ φιλανθρώπου παρεῖχεν·, οὐ γὰρ μόνον βρέφεσιν ἄλλοις ἀλλὰ καὶ σκεύεσιν, οἷς ἐτέρπετο, καὶ παιγνίοις ἐκέλευε τὴν τίτθην διδόναι καὶ προσφέρειν τὸν μαστὸν καὶ προσεκαλεῖτο καθάπερ πρὸς τράπεζαν ἰδίαν ὑπὸ φιλανθρωπίας, ὧνπερ ἐγίγνωσκε καὶ εἶχε τὰ ἥδιστα κοινουμένη τοῖς εὐφραίνουσιν αὐτήν.

[¶2] 3. Now, my dear wife, I see no reason why these and the like things, which delighted us so much when she was alive, should upon remembrance of them afflict us when she is dead. But I also fear lest, while we cease from sorrowing, we should forget her; as Clymene said,
I hate the handy horned bow,
And banish youthful pastimes now;
because she would not be put in mind of her son by the exercises he had been used to. For Nature always shuns such things as are troublesome. But since our little daughter afforded all our senses the sweetest and most charming pleasure; so ought we to cherish her memory, which will conduce many ways—or rather many fold— more to our joy than our grief. And it is but just, that the same arguments which we have oft-times used to others should prevail upon ourselves at this so seasonable a time, and that we should not supinely sit down and overwhelm the joys which we have tasted with a multiplicity of new griefs.

> Greek: 3. ἀλλʼ οὐχ ὁρῶ, γύναι, διὰ τί ταῦτα καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα ζώσης μὲν ἔτερπεν ἡμᾶς νυνὶ δʼ ἀνιάσει καὶ συνταράξει, λαμβάνοντας ἐπίνοιαν αὐτῶν. ἀλλὰ καὶ δέδια πάλιν, μὴ συνεκβάλωμεν τῷ λυποῦντι τὴν μνήμην, ὥσπερ ἡ Κλυμένη λέγουσα
μισῶ δʼ εὐάγκαλον
τόξον κρανείας, γυμνάσιά δʼ οἴχετ
ἀεὶ φεύγουσα καὶ τρέμουσα τὴν ὑπόμνησιν τοῦ παιδός, ὅτι συμπαροῦσαν λύπην εἶχεν· πᾶν γὰρ ἡ φύσις φεύγει τὸ δυσχεραινόμενον. δεῖ γάρ, ὥσπερ αὐτὴ πάντων ἥδιστον ἡμῖν ἄσπασμα καὶ θέαμα καὶ ἄκουσμα παρεῖχεν ἑαυτήν, οὕτω καὶ τὴν ἐπίνοιαν αὐτῆς ἐνδιαιτᾶσθαι καὶ συμβιοῦν ἡμῖν πλέον ἔχουσαν, μᾶλλον δὲ πολλαπλάσιον, τὸ εὐφραῖνον ἢ τὸ λυποῦν· εἴπερ ἄρα τι τῶν λόγων, οὓς πολλάκις εἰρήκαμεν πρὸς ἑτέρους, εἰκός ἐστι καὶ ἡμῖν ὄφελος ἐν καιρῷ γενέσθαι, καὶ μὴ καθῆσθαι μηδʼ ἐγκεκλεῖσθαι πολλαπλασίας ταῖς ἡδοναῖς ἐκείναις λύπας ἀντιδιδόντας.

[¶3] 4. Moreover, they who were present at the funeral report this with admiration, that you neither put on mourning, nor disfigured yourself or any of your maids; neither were there any costly preparations nor magnificent pomp; but all things were managed with silence and moderation in the presence of our relatives alone. And it seemed not strange to me that you, who never used richly to dress yourself for the theatre or other public solemnities, esteeming such magnificence vain and useless even in matters of delight, have now practised frugality on this sad occasion. For a virtuous woman ought not only to preserve her purity in riotous feasts, but also to think thus with herself, that the tempest of the mind in violent grief must be calmed by patience, which does not intrench on the natural love of parents towards their children, as many think, but only struggles against the disorderly and irregular passions of the mind. For we allow this love of children to discover itself in lamenting, wishing for, and longing after them when they are dead. But the excessive inclination to grief, which carries people on to unseemly exclamations and furious behavior, is no less culpable than luxurious intemperance. Yet reason seems to plead in its excuse; because, instead of pleasure, grief and sorrow are ingredients of the crime. What can be more irrational, I pray, than to check excessive laughter and joy, and yet to give a free course to rivers of tears and sighs, which flow from the same fountain? Or, as some do, quarrel with their wives for using artificial helps to beauty, and in the mean time suffer them to shave their heads, wear the mournful black, sit disconsolate, and lie in pain? And, which is worst of all, if their wives at any time chastise their servants or maids immoderately, they will interpose and hinder them, but at the same time suffering them to torment and punish themselves most cruelly, in a case which peculiarly requires their greatest tenderness and humanity?

> Greek: 4. καὶ τοῦτο, λέγουσιν οἱ παραγενόμενοι καὶ θαυμάζοντες, ὡς οὐδʼ ἱμάτιον ἤλλαξας οὐδὲ σαυτῇ τινα προσήγαγες ἢ θεραπαινίσιν ἀτημέλειαν· οὐδʼ ἦν παρασκευὴ πολυτελείας πανηγυρικῆς περὶ τὴν ταφήν, ἀλλʼ ἐπράττετο κοσμίως πάντα καὶ σιωπῇ μετὰ τῶν ἀναγκαίων. ἐγὼ δὲ τοῦτο μὲν οὐκ ἐθαύμαζον, εἰ μηδέποτε καλλωπισαμένη περὶ θέατρον ἢ πομπὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ πρὸς ἡδονὰς ἄχρηστον ἡγησαμένη τὴν πολυτέλειαν, ἐν τοῖς σκυθρωποῖς διεφύλαξας τὸ ἀφελὲς καὶ λιτόν. οὐ γάρ ἐν βακχεύμασι δεῖ μόνον τὴν σώφρονα μένειν ἀδιάφθορον, ἀλλὰ μηδὲν οἴεσθαι ἧττον τὸν ἐν πένθεσι σάλον καὶ τὸ κίνημα τοῦ πάθους ἐγκρατείας δεῖσθαι διαμαχομένης οὐ πρὸς τὸ φιλόστοργον, ὡς οἱ πολλοὶ νομίζουσιν, ἀλλὰ πρὸς τὸ ἀκόλαστον τῆς ψυχῆς. τῷ μὲν γὰρ φιλοστόργῳ χαριζόμεθα τὸ ποθεῖν καὶ τὸ τιμᾶν καὶ τὸ μεμνῆσθαι τῶν ἀπογενομένων, ἡ δὲ θρήνων ἄπληστος ἐπιθυμία καὶ πρὸς ὀλοφύρσεις ἐξάγουσα καὶ κοπετοὺς αἰσχρὰ μὲν οὐχ ἧττον τῆς περὶ τὰς ἡδονὰς ἀκρασίας, λόγῳ δὲ συγγνώμης ἔτυχεν, ὅτι τὸ λυπηρὸν αὐτῆς καὶ πικρὸν ἀντὶ τοῦ τερπνοῦ τῷ αἰσχρῷ πρόσεστι. τί γὰρ ἀλογώτερον ἢ τὸ γέλωτος μὲν ὑπερβολὰς καὶ περιχαρείας ἀφαιρεῖν, τοῖς δὲ κλαυθμῶν καὶ ὀδυρμῶν ῥεύμασιν ἐκ μιᾶς πηγῆς φερομένων εἰς ἅπαν ἐφιέναι; καὶ περὶ μύρου μὲν ἐνίους καὶ πορφύρας διαμάχεσθαι ταῖς γυναιξί, κουρὰς δὲ συγχωρεῖν πενθίμους καὶ βαφὰς ἐσθῆτος μελαίνας καὶ καθίσεις ἀμόρφους καὶ κατακλίσεις ἐπιπόνους; καί, ὃ δὴ πάντων ἐστὶ χαλεπώτατον, ἂν οἰκέτας ἢ θεραπαινίδας κολάζωσιν ἀμέτρως καὶ ἀδίκως, ἐνίστασθαι καὶ κωλύειν αὐτάς, ὑφʼ ἑαυτῶν δʼ ὠμῶς κολαζομένας καὶ πικρῶς περιορᾶν ἐν πάθεσι καὶ τύχαις ῥᾳστώνης καὶ φιλανθρωπίας δεομέναις;

[¶4] 5. But between us, dear wife, there never was any occasion for such contests, nor, I think, will there ever be. For there is no philosopher of our acquaintance who is not in love with your frugality, both in apparel and diet; nor a citizen, to whom the simplicity and plainness of your dress is not conspicuous, both at religious sacrifices and public shows in the theatre. Formerly also you discovered on the like occasion a great constancy of mind, when you lost your eldest son; and again, when the lovely Chaeron left us. For I remember, when the news was brought me of my son’s death, as I was returning home with some friends and guests who accompanied me to my house, when they beheld all things in order, and observed a profound silence everywhere,—as they afterwards declared to others,—they thought no such calamity had happened, but that the report was false. So discreetly had you settled the affairs of the house at that time, when no small confusion and disorder might have been expected. And yet you gave this son suck yourself, and endured the lancing of your breast, to prevent the ill effects of a contusion. These are things worthy of a generous woman, and one that loves her children.

> Greek: 5. ἀλλʼ ἡμῖν γε, γύναι, πρὸς ἀλλήλους οὔτʼ ἐκείνης ἐδέησε τῆς μάχης οὔτε ταύτης οἶμαι δεήσειν. εὐτελείᾳ μὲν γὰρ τῇ περὶ τὸ σῶμα καὶ ἀθρυψίᾳ τῇ περὶ δίαιταν οὐδείς ἐστι τῶν φιλοσόφων, ὃν οὐκ ἐξέπληξας; ἐν ὁμιλίᾳ καὶ συνηθείᾳ γενόμενον ἡμῖν· οὐδὲ τῶν πολιτῶν, ᾧ μὴ θέαμα παρέχεις ἐν ἱεροῖς καὶ θυσίαις καὶ θεάτροις τὴν· σεαυτῆς ἀφέλειαν. ἤδη δὲ καὶ περὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα πολλὴν εὐστάθειαν ἐπεδείξω, τὸ πρεσβύτατον τῶν τέκνων ἀποβαλοῦσα· καὶ πάλιν, ἐκείνου τοῦ καλοῦ Χαίρωνος ἡμᾶς προλιπόντος. μέμνημαι γὰρ ἀπὸ θαλάσσης ξένους μοι συνοδεύσαντας, ἀπηγγελμένης τῆς τοῦ παιδίου τελευτῆς, καὶ συνελθόντας ἅμα τοῖς ἄλλοις ἐς τὴν οἰκίαν· ἐπεὶ δὲ πολλὴν κατάστασιν ἑώρων καὶ ἡσυχίαν, ὡς ὕστερον διηγοῦντο καὶ πρὸς ἑτέρους, ᾤοντο μηδὲν εἶναι δεινὸν ἀλλὰ κενὸν ἄλλως ἐξενηνέχθαι λόγον· οὕτω σωφρόνως κατεκόσμησας τὸν οἶκον ἐν καιρῷ πολλὴν ἀκοσμίας ἐξουσίαν διδόντι, καίτοι τῷ σεαυτῆς ἐκεῖνον μαστῷ ἐξέθρεψας καὶ τομῆς ἠνέσχου τῆς θηλῆς περίθλασιν λαβούσης· γενναῖα γὰρ ταῦτα καὶ φιλόστοργα.

[¶5] 6. Whereas, we see most other women receive their children in their hands as playthings with a feminine mirth and jollity; and afterwards, if they chance to die, they will drench themselves in the most vain and excessive sorrow. Not that this is any effect of their love, for that gentle passion acts regularly and discreetly; but it rather proceeds from a desire of vain-glory, mixed with a little natural affection, which renders their mourning barbarous, brutish, and extravagant. Which thing Aesop knew very well, when he told the story of Jupiter’s giving honors to the Gods; for, it seems, Grief also made her demands, and it was granted that she should be honored, but only by those who were willing of their own accord to do it. And indeed, this is the beginning of sorrow. Everybody first gives her free access; and after she is once rooted and settled and become familiar, she will not be forced thence with their best endeavors. Therefore she must be resisted at her first approach; nor must we surrender the fort to her by any exterior signs, whether of apparel, or shaving the hair, or any other such like symptoms of mournful weakness; which happening daily, and wounding us by degrees with a kind of foolish bashfulness, at length do so enervate the mind, and reduce her to such straits, that quite dejected and besieged with grief, the poor timorous wretch dare not be merry, or see the light, or eat and drink in company. This inconvenience is accompanied by a neglect of the body, carelessness of anointing and bathing, with whatsoever else relates to the elegancy of human life. Whereas, on the contrary, the soul, when it is disordered, ought to receive aid from the vigor of a healthful body. For the sharpest edge of the soul’s grief is rebated and slacked, when the body is in tranquillity and ease, like the sea in a calm. But where, from an ill course of diet, the body becomes dry and hot, so that it cannot supply the soul with commodious and serene spirits, but only breathes forth melancholy vapors and exhalations, which perpetually annoy her with grief and sadness; there it is difficult for a man (though never so willing and desirous) to recover the tranquillity of his mind, after it has been disturbed with so many evil affections.

> Greek: 6. τὰς δὲ πολλὰς ὁρῶμεν μητέρας, ὅταν ὑπʼ ἄλλων τὰ παιδία καθαρθῇ καὶ γανωθῇ, καθάπερ παίγνια λαμβανούσας εἰς χεῖρας, εἶτʼ ἀποθανόντων ἐκχεομένας εἰς κενὸν καὶ ἀχάριστον πένθος, οὐχ ὑπʼ εὐνοίας ʽ εὐλόγιστον γὰρ εὔνοια καὶ καλόν̓· ἀλλὰ μικρῷ τῷ φυσικῷ πάθει πολὺ συγκεραννύμενον τὸ πρὸς κενὴν δόξαν ἄγρια ποιεῖ καὶ μανικὰ καὶ δυσεξίλαστα τὰ πένθη. καὶ τοῦτο φαίνεται μὴ λαθεῖν Αἴσωπον· ἔφη γὰρ οὗτος ὅτι, τοῦ Διὸς τὰς τιμὰς διανέμοντος τοῖς θεοῖς, ᾔτει καὶ τὸ πένθος. ἔδωκεν οὖν αὐτῷ, παρὰ τοῖς αἱρουμένοις δὲ μόνοις καὶ θέλουσιν. ἐν ἀρχῇ μὲν οὖν οὕτω τοῦτο γιγνόμενόν ἐστιν· αὐτὸς γὰρ ἕκαστος εἰσάγει τὸ πένθος ἐφʼ ἑαυτόν. ὅταν δʼ ἱδρυθῇ χρόνῳ καὶ γένηται σύντροφον καὶ σύνοικον, οὐδὲ πάνυ βουλομένων ἀπαλλάττεται. διὸ δεῖ μάχεσθαι περὶ θύρας αὐτῷ καὶ μὴ προσίεσθαι, φρουρὰν διʼ ἐσθῆτος ἢ κουρᾶς ἤ τινος ἄλλου τῶν τοιούτων, ἃ καθʼ ἡμέραν ἀπαντῶντα καὶ δυσωποῦντα μικρὰν καὶ στενὴν καὶ ἀνέξοδον καὶ ἀμείλικτον καὶ ψοφοδεῆ ποιεῖ τὴν διάνοιαν, ὡς οὔτε γέλωτος αὐτῇ μετὸν οὔτε φωτὸς οὔτε φιλανθρώπου τραπέζης, τοιαῦτα περικειμένῃ καὶ μεταχειριζομένῃ διὰ τὸ πένθος. ἀμέλειαι δὲ σώματος ἕπονται τῷ κακῷ τούτῳ καὶ διαβολαὶ πρὸς ἄλειμμα καὶ λουτρὸν καὶ τὴν ἄλλην δίαιταν ὧν πᾶν τοὐναντίον ἔδει, τὴν ψυχὴν πονοῦσαν αὐτὴν βοηθεῖσθαι διὰ τοῦ σώματος ἐρρωμένου. πολὺ γὰρ ἀμβλύνεται καὶ χαλᾶται τοῦ λυποῦντος, ὥσπερ ἐν εὐδίᾳ κῦμα, τῇ γαλήνῃ τοῦ σώματος διαχεομένου. ἐὰν δʼ αὐχμὸς ἐγγένηται καὶ τραχύτης ἐκ φαύλης διαίτης, καὶ μηδὲν εὐμενὲς μηδὲ χρηστὸν ἀναπέμπῃ τὸ σῶμα τῇ ψυχῇ πλὴν ὀδύνας καὶ λύπας, ὥσπερ τινὰς πικρὰς καὶ δυσχερεῖς ἀναθυμιάσεις, οὐδὲ βουλομένοις ἔτι ῥᾳδίως ἀναλαβεῖν ἔστι. τοιαῦτα λαμβάνει πάθη τὴν ψυχὴν οὕτω κακωθεῖσαν.

[¶6] 7. But that which is most to be dreaded in this case does not at all affrighten me, to wit, the visits of foolish women, and their accompanying you in your tears and lamentations; by which they sharpen your grief, not suffering it either of itself or by the help of others to fade and vanish away. For I am not ignorant how great a combat you lately entered, when you assisted the sister of Theon, and opposed the women who came running in with horrid cries and lamentations, bringing fuel as it were to her passion. Assuredly, when men see their neighbor’s house on fire, every one contributes his utmost to quench it; but when they see the mind inflamed with furious passion, they bring fuel to nourish and increase the flame. When a man’s eye is in pain, he is not suffered to touch it, though the inflammation provoke him to it, nor will they that are near him meddle with it. But he who is galled with grief sits and exposes his distemper to every one, like waters that all may poach in; and so that which at first seemed a light itching or trivial smart, by much fretting and provoking, becomes a great and almost incurable disease. But I know very well that you will arm yourself against these inconveniences.

> Greek: 7. καὶ μήν, ὅ γε μέγιστον ἐν τούτῳ καὶ φοβερώτατόν ἐστιν, οὐκ ἂν φοβηθείην κακῶν γυναικῶν εἰσόδους καὶ φωνὰς καὶ συνεπιθρηνήσεις, αἳ ἐκτρίβουσι καὶ παραθήγουσι τὴν. λύπην, οὔθʼ ὑπʼ ἄλλων οὔτʼ αὐτὴν ἐφʼ ἑαυτῆς ἐῶσαι μαρανθῆναι. γιγνώσκω γὰρ ποίους ἔναγχος ἀγῶνας ἠγωνίσω, τῇ Θέωνος ἀδελφῇ βοηθοῦσα καὶ μαχομένη ταῖς μετʼ ὀλοφυρμῶν καὶ ἀλαλαγμῶν ἔξωθεν ἐπιούσαις, ὥσπερ ἀτεχνῶς πῦρ ἐπὶ πῦρ φερούσαις. τὰς μὲν γὰρ οἰκίας τῶν φίλων ὅταν καομένας ἴδωσι σβεννύουσιν ὡς ἔχει τάχους ἕκαστος ἢ δυνάμεως, ταῖς δὲ ψυχαῖς φλεγομέναις αὐτοὶ προσφέρουσιν ὑπεκκαύματα. καὶ τῷ μὲν ὀφθαλμιῶντι τὰς χεῖρας οὐκ ἐῶσι προσάγειν τὸν βουλόμενον οὐδʼ ἅπτονται τοῦ φλεγμαίνοντος· ὁ δὲ πενθῶν κάθηται παντὶ τῷ προστυχόντι παρέχων ὥσπερ ῥεῦμα κινεῖν καὶ διαγριαίνειν τὸ πάθος, ἐκ μικροῦ τοῦ γαργαλίζοντος καὶ κινοῦντος εἰς πολλὴν καὶ δυσχερῆ κάκωσιν ἀναξαινόμενον. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν οἶδʼ ὅτι φυλάξῃ.

[¶7] 8. Moreover, I would have you endeavor to call often to mind that time when our daughter was not as yet born to us, and when we had no cause to complain of Fortune. Then, joining that time with this, argue thus with yourself, that we are now in the same condition as then. Otherwise, dear wife, we shall seem discontented at the birth of our little daughter, if we own that our circumstances were better before her birth. But the two years of her life are by no means to be forgotten by us, but to be numbered amongst our blessings, in that they afforded us an agreeable pleasure. Nor must we esteem a small good for a great evil; nor ungratefully complain against Fortune for what she has actually given us, because she has not added what we wished for. Certainly, to speak reverently of the Gods, and to bear our lot with an even mind without accusing Fortune, always brings with it a fair reward. But he who in such a case calls prosperous things to mind, and turning his thoughts from dark and melancholy objects, fixes them on bright and cheerful ones, will either quite extinguish his grief, or by allaying it with contrary sentiments, will render it weak and feeble. For, as perfumes bring delight to the nose, and arm it against ill scents, so the remembrance of happiness gives necessary assistance in adversity to those who avoid not the recollection of their past prosperity nor complain at all against Fortune. For certainly it would little become us to accuse our life, if like a book it hath but one little blot in it, though all the rest be fair and clean.

> Greek: 8. πειρῶ δὲ τῇ ἐπινοίᾳ μεταφέρουσα σεαυτὴν ἀποκαθιστάναι πολλάκις εἰς ἐκεῖνον τὸν χρόνον, ἐν ᾧ, μηδέπω τοῦ παιδίου τούτου γεγονότος, μηδὲν ἔγκλημα πρὸς τὴν τύχην εἴχομεν· εἶτα τὸν νῦν καιρὸν τοῦτον ἐκείνῳ συνάπτειν, ὡς ὁμοίων πάλιν τῶν περὶ ἡμᾶς γεγονότων. ἐπεὶ τὴν γένεσιν, ὦ γύναι, τοῦ τέκνου δυσχεραίνειν δόξομεν, ἀμεμπτότερα ποιοῦντες αὑτοῖς τὰ πρὶν ἐκείνην γενέσθαι πράγματα. τὴν δʼ ἐν μέσῳ διετίαν ἐξαιρεῖν μὲν οὐ δεῖ τῆς μνήμης, ὡς δὲ χάριν καὶ ἀπόλαυσιν παρασχοῦσαν ἐν ἡδονῇ τίθεσθαι· καὶ μὴ τὸ μικρὸν ἀγαθὸν μέγα νομίζειν κακόν· μηδʼ ὅτι τὸ ἐλπιζόμενον οὐ προσέθηκεν ἡ τύχη, καὶ περὶ τοῦ δοθέντος ἀχαριστεῖν. ἀεὶ μὲν γὰρ ἡ περὶ τὸ θεῖον εὐφημία καὶ τὸ πρὸς τὴν τύχην ἵλεων καὶ ἀμεμφὲς καλὸν καὶ ἡδὺν ἀποδίδωσι καρπόν· ἐν δὲ τοῖς τοιούτοις ὁ· μάλιστα τῆς μνήμης τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἀπαρυτόμενος καὶ τοῦ βίου πρὸς τὰ φωτεινὰ καὶ λαμπρὰ μεταστρέφων καὶ μεταφέρων ἐκ τῶν σκοτεινῶν καὶ ταρακτικῶν τὴν διάνοιαν, ἢ παντάπασιν ἔσβεσε τὸ λυποῦν ἢ τῇ πρὸς τοὐναντίον μίξει μικρὸν καὶ ἀμαυρὸν ἐποίησεν. ὥσπερ γὰρ τὸ μύρον ἀεὶ μὲν εὐφραίνει τὴν ὄσφρησιν πρὸς δὲ τὰ δυσώδη φάρμακόν ἐστιν, οὕτως ἡ ἐπίνοια τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἐν τοῖς κακοῖς καὶ βοηθήματος ἀναγκαίου παρέχεται χρείαν τοῖς μὴ φεύγουσι τὸ μεμνῆσθαι τῶν χρηστῶν μηδὲ πάντα καὶ πάντως μεμφομένοις τὴν τύχην. ὅπερ ἡμῖν παθεῖν οὐ προσήκει συκοφαντοῦσι τὸν ἑαυτῶν βίον, εἰ μίαν ἔσχηκεν ὥσπερ βιβλίον ἀλοιφὴν ἐν πᾶσι καθαροῖς καὶ ἀκεραίοις τοῖς ἄλλοις.

[¶8] 9. For you have oftentimes heard, that true happiness consists in the right discourses and counsels of the mind, tending to its own constant establishment, and that the changes of Fortune are of no great importance to the felicity of our life. But even if we must also be governed by exterior things, and with the common sort of people have a regard to casualties, and suffer any kind of men to be judges of our happiness, however, do not you take notice of the tears and moans of such as visit you at present, condoling your misfortunes; for their tears and sighs are but of course. But rather, do you consider how happy every one of them esteems you for the children you have, the house you keep, and the life you lead. For it would be an ill thing, while others covet your fortune, though sullied with this affliction, that you should exclaim against what you enjoy, and not be sensible, from the taste of affliction, how grateful you ought to be for the happiness which remains untouched. Or, like some who, collecting all the defective verses of Homer, pass over at the same time so many excellent parts of his poems, so shall we peevishly complain of and reckon up the inconveniences of our life, neglecting at the same time promiscuously the benefits thereof? Or, shall we imitate covetous and sordid misers, who, having heaped together much riches, never enjoy what they have in possession, but bewail it if it chance to be lost? But if you lament the poor girl because she died unmarried and without offspring, you have wherewithal to comfort yourself, in that you are defective in none of these things, having had your share. And these are not to be esteemed at once great evils where they are wanted, and small benefits where they are enjoyed. But so long as she is gone to a place where she feels no pain, what need is there of our grief? For what harm can befall us from her, when she is free from all hurt? And surely the loss of even great things abates the grief, when it is come to this, that we have no need or use of them. But thy Timoxena was deprived but of small matter; for she had no knowledge but of such, neither took she delight but in such small things. But for that which she never was sensible of, and which did not so much as once enter into her thoughts, how can you say it is taken from her?

> Greek: 9. ὅτι μὲν γὰρ ἐξ ὀρθῶν ἐπιλογισμῶν εἰς εὐσταθῆ διάθεσιν τελευτώντων ἢρτηται τὸ μακάριον, αἱ δʼ ἀπὸ τῆς τύχης τροπαὶ μεγάλας ἀποκλίσεις οὐ ποιοῦσιν οὐδʼ ἐπιφέρουσι συγχυτικὰς ὀλισθήσεις τοῦ βίου, πολλάκις ἀκήκοας. εἰ δὲ δεῖ καὶ ἡμᾶς, καθάπερ οἱ πολλοί, τοῖς ἔξωθεν κυβερνᾶσθαι πράγμασι καὶ τὰ παρὰ τῆς τύχης ἀπαριθμεῖν καὶ κριταῖς χρῆσθαι πρὸς εὐδαιμονίαν τοῖς ἐπιτυχοῦσιν ἀνθρώποις, μὴ σκόπει τὰ νῦν δάκρυα καὶ τὰς ἐπιθρηνήσεις τῶν εἰσιόντων, ἔθει τινὶ φαύλῳ περαινομένας πρὸς ἕκαστον, ἀλλʼ ἐννόει μᾶλλον ὡς ζηλουμένη διατελεῖς; ὑπὸ τούτων ἐπὶ τέκνοις καὶ οἴκῳ καὶ βίῳ. καὶ δεινόν ἐστιν ἑτέρους μὲν ἡδέως ἂν ἑλέσθαι τὴν σὴν τύχην καὶ τούτου προσόντος ἐφʼ ᾧ νῦν ἀνιώμεθα, σὲ δʼ ἐγκαλεῖν καὶ δυσφορεῖν παρούσης, καὶ μηδʼ ἀπʼ αὐτοῦ τοῦ δάκνοντος αἰσθάνεσθαι πηλίκας ἔχει τὰ σῳζόμενα χάριτας ἡμῖν· ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ οἱ τοὺς ἀκεφάλους καὶ μειούρους Ὁμήρου στίχους ἐκλέγοντες τὰ δὲ πολλὰ καὶ μεγάλα τῶν πεποιημένων ὑπέρευ παρορῶντες, οὕτως ἐξακριβοῦν καὶ συκοφαντεῖν τοῦ βίου τὰ φαῦλα, τοῖς δὲ χρηστοῖς ἀνάρθρως καὶ συγκεχυμένως ἐπιβάλλουσαν ὅμοιόν τι τοῖς ἀνελευθέροις καὶ φιλαργύροις πάσχειν, οἳ πολλὰ συνάγοντες οὐ χρῶνται παροῦσιν ἀλλὰ θρηνοῦσι καὶ δυσφοροῦσιν ἀπολομένων. εἰ δʼ ἐκείνης ἔχεις οἶκτον ἀγάμου καὶ ἄπαιδος οἰχομένης, αὖθις ἔχεις ἐπʼ ἄλλοις ἡδίω σεαυτὴν ποιεῖν, μηδενὸς τούτων ἀτελῆ μηδʼ ἄμοιρον γενομένην οὐ γάρ· ἐστι ταῦτα μεγάλα μὲν τοῖς στερομένοις ἀγαθὰ μικρὰ δὲ τοῖς ἔχουσιν. ἐκείνη δʼ εἰς τὸ ἄλυπον ἥκουσα λυπεῖν ἡμᾶς οὐ δεῖται· τί γὰρ ἡμῖν ἀπʼ ἐκείνης κακόν, εἰ μηδὲν ἐκείνῃ νῦν ἐστι λυπηρόν; καὶ γὰρ αἱ τῶν μεγάλων στερήσεις ἀποβάλλουσι τὸ λυποῦν εἰς τὸ μὴ δεῖσθαι περιγενόμεναι. Τιμοξένα δʼ ἡ σὴ μικρῶν μὲν ἐστέρηται, μικρὰ γὰρ ἔγνω καὶ μικροῖς ἔχαιρε· ὧν δʼ οὔτʼ αἴσθησιν ἔσχεν οὔτʼ ἔλαβεν ἐπίνοιαν, πῶς ἂν στέρεσθαι λέγοιτο;

[¶9] 10. As for what you hear others say, who persuade the vulgar that the soul, when once freed from the body, suffers no inconvenience or evil nor is sensible at all, I know that you are better grounded in the doctrines delivered down to us from our ancestors, as also in the sacred mysteries of Bacchus, than to believe such stories; for the religious symbols are well known to us who are of the fraternity. Therefore be assured, that the soul, being incapable of death, is affected in the same manner as birds that are kept in a cage. For if she has been a long time educated and cherished in the body, and by long custom has been made familiar with most things of this life, she will (though separable) return again, and at length enter the body; nor ceaseth it by new births now and then to be entangled in the chances and events of this life. For do not think that old age is therefore evil spoken of and blamed, because it is accompanied with wrinkles, gray hairs, and weakness of body. But this is the most troublesome thing in old age, that it maketh the soul weak in its remembrance of divine things, and too earnest for things relating to the body; thus it bendeth and boweth, retaining that form which it took of the body. But that which is taken away in youth, being more soft and tractable, soon returns to its native vigor and beauty. Just as fire that is quenched, if it be forthwith kindled again, sparkles and burns out immediately.... So most speedily
’Twere good to pass the gates of death,
before too great a love of bodily and earthly things be engendered in the soul, and it become soft and tender by being used to the body, and (as it were) by charms and potions incorporated with it.

> Greek: 10. καὶ μὴν ἃ τῶν ἄλλων ἀκούεις, οἳ πείθουσι πολλοὺς λέγοντες ὡς οὐδὲν οὐδαμῇ τῷ διαλυθέντι κακὸν οὐδὲ λυπηρόν ἐστιν, οἶδʼ ὅτι κωλύει σε πιστεύειν ὁ πάτριος λόγος καὶ τὰ μυστικὰ σύμβολα τῶν περὶ τὸν Διόνυσον ὀργιασμῶν, ἃ σύνισμεν ἀλλήλοις οἱ κοινωνοῦντες. ὡς οὖν ἄφθαρτον οὖσαν τὴν ψυχὴν διανοοῦ ταὐτὸ ταῖς ἁλισκομέναις ὄρνισι πάσχειν· ἂν μὲν γὰρ πολὺν ἐντραφῇ τῷ σώματι χρόνον καὶ γένηται τῷ βίῳ τούτῳ τιθασὸς ὑπὸ πραγμάτων πολλῶν καὶ μακρᾶς συνηθείας, αὖθις καταίρουσα πάλιν ἐνδύεται καὶ οὐκ ἀνίησιν οὐδὲ λήγει τοῖς ἐνταῦθα συμπλεκομένη πάθεσι καὶ τύχαις διὰ τῶν γενέσεων. μὴ γὰρ οἴου λοιδορεῖσθαι καὶ κακῶς ἀκούειν τὸ γῆρας διὰ τὴν ῥυσότητα καὶ τὴν πολιὰν καὶ τὴν ἀσθένειαν τοῦ σώματος· ἀλλὰ τοῦτʼ αὐτοῦ τὸ χαλεπώτατόν ἐστιν, ὅτι τὴν ψυχὴν ἕωλόν τε ποιεῖ ταῖς μνήμαις τῶν ἐκεῖ καὶ λιπαρῆ περὶ ταῦτα καὶ κάμπτει καὶ πιέζει, τὸν σχηματισμόν, ὃν ἔσχεν ὑπὸ τοῦ σώματος ἐν τῷ πεπονθέναι, διαφυλάττουσαν. ἡ δὲ ληφθεῖσα μὲν … ὑπὸ κρειττόνων ἔχεται, καθάπερ ἐκ καμπῆς ὑγρᾶς καὶ μαλθακῆς ἀναχαιτίσασα πρὸς ὃ πέφυκεν. ὥσπερ γὰρ τὸ πῦρ, ἄν τις ἀποσβέσας εὐθὺς ἐξάπτῃ, πάλιν ἀναρριπίζεται καὶ ἀναλαμβάνει ταχέως ὅπως ὤκιστα πύλας Ἀίδαο περῆσαι πρὶν ἔρωτα πολὺν ἐγγενέσθαι τῶν αὐτόθι πραγμάτων καὶ μαλαχθῆναι πρὸς τὸ σῶμα καὶ συντακῆναι καθάπερ ὑπὸ φαρμάκων.

[¶10] 11. But the truth of this will appear in the laws and traditions received from our ancestors. For when children die, no libations nor sacrifices are made for them, nor any other of those ceremonies which are wont to be performed for the dead. For infants have no part of earth or earthly affections. Nor do we hover or tarry about their sepulchres or monuments, or sit by when their dead bodies are exposed. The laws of our country forbid this, and teach us that it is an impious thing to lament for those whose souls pass immediately into a better and more divine state. Wherefore, since it is safer to give credit to our traditions than to call them in question, let us comply with the custom in outward and public behavior, and let our interior be more unpolluted, pure, and holy....

> Greek: 11. τοῖς δὲ πατρίοις καὶ παλαιοῖς ἔθεσι καὶ νόμοις ἐμφαίνεται μᾶλλον ἡ περὶ τούτων ἀλήθεια. τοῖς γὰρ αὑτῶν νηπίοις ἀποθανοῦσιν οὔτε χοὰς; ἐπιφέρουσιν, οὔτʼ ἄλλα δρῶσι περὶ αὐτὰ οἷʼ εἰκὸς ὑπὲρ θανόντων ποιεῖν τοὺς ἄλλους οὐ γὰρ μέτεστι γῆς; οὐδὲν οὐδὲ τῶν περὶ γῆν αὐτοῖς. οὐδʼ αὐτοῦ περὶ ταφὰς καὶ μνήματα καὶ προθέσεις νεκρῶν φιλοχωροῦσι καὶ παρακάθηνται τοῖς σώμασιν· οὐ γὰρ ἐῶσι θρηνεῖν οἱ νόμοι τοὺς τηλικούτους, ὡς οὐχ ὅσιον εἰς βελτίονα καὶ θειοτέραν μοῖραν ἅμα καὶ χώραν μεθεστηκότας· ἐπεὶ δὲ τὸ ἀπιστεῖν χαλεπώτερόν ἐστιν αὐτοῖς ἢ τὸ πιστεύειν, τὰ μὲν ἐκτὸς οὕτως ὡς οἱ νόμοι προστάττουσιν ἔχωμεν, τὰ δʼ ἐντὸς ἔτι μᾶλλον ἀμίαντα καὶ καθαρὰ καὶ σώφρονα.