---
title: "How to Tell a Flatterer from a Friend · Quomodo adulator ab amico internoscatur"
author: "Plutarch"
translator: "Frank Cole Babbitt"
languages: [grc, en]
shelf: "Philosophy"
url: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/
cite: "Plutarch, tr. Frank Cole Babbitt, How to Tell a Flatterer from a Friend · Quomodo adulator ab amico internoscatur. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/"
---

# How to Tell a Flatterer from a Friend · Quomodo adulator ab amico internoscatur

*Plutarch, tr. Frank Cole Babbitt*

The flatterer imitates the friend in everything; how to see through him, and how a true friend speaks frankly.

> Greek: ed. Grēgorios N. Vernardakēs, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-greekLit, tlg0007.tlg070, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Frank Cole Babbitt, from the Perseus Digital Library (tlg0007.tlg070.perseus-eng3). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## Contents

1. [Sections 2–11](https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/1.md)
2. [Sections 12–20](https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/2.md)
3. [Sections 21–27](https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/3.md)
4. [Sections 28–37](https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/4.md)

## 1. Sections 2–11

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/1/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/1/#p-N

[¶0] Plutarch’s essay on flatterers is addressed to C. Julius Antiochus Philopappus, a descendant of the kings of Commagene, whose monument still stands on the Museum Hill at Athens. He was a patron of art and literature, and on friendly terms with Plutarch.a The essay is not concerned with the impecunious and dependent adherents (parasites) of the rich, but with the adroit flatterers of a higher standing, who worm their way into the confidence of great men, and exercise a pernicious influence upon them. That Philopappus may have stood in need of such a warning may readily be inferred. The essay, at the close, digresses into a disquisition on frank speech (παρρησία) that might easily have been made into a separate treatise, but which is developed naturally from the attempt to distinguish the genuineness of a friend from the affectation of a flatterer. Frank speech was regarded in classical times as the birthright of every Athenian citizen, but under the political conditions existent in Plutarch’s day it was probably safer to cultivate it as a private virtue. Plato says, my dear Antiochus Philopappus, that everyone grants forgiveness to the man who avows that he dearly loves himself, but he also says that along with many other faults which are engendered thereby the most serious is that which makes it impossible for such a man to be an honest and unbiased judge of himself. “For Love is blind as regards the beloved,” unless one, through study, has acquired the habit of respecting and pursuing what is honourable rather than what is inbred and familiar. This fact affords to the flatterer a very wide field within the realm of friendship, since in our love of self he has an excellent base of operations against us. It is because of this self-love that everybody is himself his own foremost and greatest flatterer, and hence finds no difficulty in admitting the outsider to witness with him and to confirm his own conceits and desires. For the man who is spoken of with opprobrium as a lover of flatterers is in high degree a lover of self, and, because of his kindly feeling toward himself, he desires and conceives himself to be endowed with all manner of good qualities; but although the desire for these is not unnatural, yet the conceit that one possesses them is dangerous and must be carefully avoided. Now if Truth is a thing divine, and, as Plato puts it, the origin “of all good for gods and all good for men,” then the flatterer is in all likelihood an enemy to the gods and particularly to the Pythian god. For the flatterer always takes a position over against the maxim “Know thyself,” by creating in every man deception towards himself and ignorance both of himself and of the good and evil that concerns himself; the good he renders defective and incomplete, and the evil wholly impossible to amend.

> Greek: τῷ σφόδρα φιλεῖν ἑαυτόν, ὦ Ἀντίοχε Φιλόπαππε, φάσκοντι συγγνώμην μὲν ἅπαντας ὁ Πλάτων διδόναι φησί, κακίαν δὲ σὺν πολλαῖς; ἄλλαις ἐγγίγνεσθαι μεγίστην, ὑφʼ ἧς οὐκ ἔστιν αὑτοῦ κριτὴν δίκαιον οὐδʼ ἀδέκαστον εἶναι· τυφλοῦται γὰρ τὸ φιλοῦν περὶ τὸ φιλούμενον ἂν μή τις μαθὼν ἐθισθῇ τὰ καλὰ τιμᾶν καὶ διώκειν μᾶλλον ἢ τὰ συγγενῆ καὶ οἰκεῖα. τοῦτο τῷ κόλακι πολλὴν μεταξὺ τῆς φιλίας εὐρυχωρίαν δίδωσιν, ὁρμητήριον ἐφʼ ἡμᾶς εὐφυὲς ἔχοντι τὴν φιλαυτίαν, διʼ ἣν αὐτὸς αὑτοῦ κόλαξ ἕκαστος ὢν πρῶτος καὶ μέγιστος οὐ χαλεπῶς προσίεται τὸν ἔξωθεν ὧν οἴεται καὶ βούλεται. μάρτυν ἅμʼ αὐτῷ καὶ βεβαιωτὴν προσγιγνόμενον. ὁ γὰρ λοιδορούμενος φιλοκόλαξ σφόδρα φίλαυτός ἐστι, διʼ εὔνοιαν ἑαυτῷ πάντα μὲν ὑπάρχειν βουλόμενος πάντα δʼ οἰόμενος ὧν ἡ μὲν βούλησις οὐκ ἄτοπος ἡ δʼ οἴησις ἐπισφαλὴς καὶ δεομένη πολλῆς εὐλαβείας. εἰ δὲ δὴ θεῖον ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ πάντων μὲν ἀγαθῶν θεοῖς πάντων δʼ ἀνθρώποις ἀρχὴ κατὰ Πλάτωνα, κινδυνεύει θεοῖς ἐχθρὸς ὁ κόλαξ εἶναι, τῷ δὲ Πυθίῳ διαφερόντως. ἀντιτάττεται γὰρ ἀεὶ πρὸς τὸ γνῶθι σαυτόν, ἀπάτην ἑκάστῳ πρὸς ἑαυτὸν ἐμποιῶν καὶ ἄγνοιαν ἑαυτοῦ καὶ τῶν περὶ αὑτὸν ἀγαθῶν καὶ κακῶν, τὰ μὲν ἐλλιπῆ καὶ ἀτελῆ τὰ δʼ ὅλως ἀνεπανόρθωτα ποιῶν.

[¶1] 2. If the flatterer, then, like most other evils, attacked solely or mostly the ignoble and mean, he would not be so formidable or so hard to guard against. But the fact is, that as bore-worms make their entrance chiefly into the delicate and sweetscented kinds of wood, so it is ambitious, honest, and promising characters that receive and nourish the flatterer as he hangs upon them. Moreover, just as Simonides says, “The rearing of horses consorts not with Zacynthus, But with wheat-bearing acres,” so we observe that flattery does not attend upon poor, obscure, or unimportant persons, but makes itself a stumbling-block and a pestilence in great houses and great affairs, and oftentimes overturns kingdoms and principalities. Wherefore it is no small task, nor a matter requiring but slight foresight, to subject it to examination, so that, being thoroughly exposed, it may be prevented from injuring or discrediting friendship. Vermin depart from dying persons and forsake their bodies, as the blood, from which the vermin derive their sustenance, loses its vitality; and so flatterers are never so much as to be seen coming near where succulence and warmth are lacking, but where renown and power attend, there do they throng and thrive; but if a change come, they slink away quickly and are gone. But we must not wait until that experience shall befall, which is a thing profitless, or rather injurious and not devoid of danger. For it is cruel to discover friends that are no friends at a crucial time which calls for friends, since there is then no exchanging one that is untrustworthy and spurious for the true and trustworthy. But one’s friend, like a coin, should have been examined and approved before the time of need, not proved by the need to be no friend. For we must not wait for injury to open our eyes, but to avoid injury we must gain acquaintance with the flatterer and learn how to detect him; otherwise we shall be in the same case with those who try to learn about deadly drugs by tasting them first, and so ruin and destroy themselves in order to reach their decision. We do not, of course, commend such persons, nor again those who rate the friend as something noble and beneficial, and so imagine that all who are socially agreeable at once stand openly convicted of being flatterers. For a friend is not unpleasant or absolute, nor is it bitterness and sternness that give dignity to friendship, but this very nobility and dignity in it is sweet and desirable. “Close by its side have the Graces and Longing established their dwelling,” and not merely for one who is in misfortune “’Tis sweet to gaze into a kind man’s eyes,” as Euripides has it, but when friendship attends us, it brings pleasure and delight to our prosperity no less than it takes away the griefs and the feeling of helplessness from adversity. As Evenus has remarked that fire is the best of sauce, so God, by commingling friendship with our life, has made everything cheerful, sweet and agreeable, when friendship is there to share in our enjoyment. Indeed, how the flatterer could use pleasures to insinuate himself, if he saw that friendship was nowhere ready to welcome what is pleasant, no man can explain. But just as false and counterfeit imitations of gold imitate only its brilliancy and lustre, so apparently the flatterer, imitating the pleasant and attractive characteristics of the friend, always presents himself in a cheerful and blithe mood, with never a whit of crossing or opposition. But that is no reason why persons who express commendation should instantly be suspected of being simply flatterers. For commendation at the right time is no less becoming to friendship than is censure, or we may express it better by saying that complaining and fault-finding generally is unfriendly and unsociable, whereas the kindly feeling that ungrudgingly and readily bestows commendation for noble acts inclines us, at some later time, cheerfully and without distress to bear admonishment and frankness of speech, since we believe, and are content, that the man who is glad to commend blames only when he must.

> Greek: 2. εἰ μὲν οὖν, ὡς τὰ πλεῖστα τῶν ἄλλων κακῶν, κόλαξ ἥπτετο μόνον ἢ μάλιστα τῶν ἀγεννῶν καὶ φαύλων, οὐκ ἂν ἦν οὕτω δεινὸν οὐδὲ δυσφύλακτον· ἐπεὶ δʼ ὥσπερ οἱ θρῖπες ἐνδύονται μάλιστα τοῖς ἁπαλοῖς καὶ γλυκέσι ξύλοις, οὕτω τὰ φιλότιμα τῶν ἠθῶν καὶ χρηστὰ καὶ ἐπιεικῆ τὸν κόλακα δέχεται καὶ τρέφει προσφυόμενον, ἔτι δʼ ὥσπερ ὁ Σιμωνίδης τὴν ἱπποτροφίαν φησὶν οὐ Ζακύνθῳ ὀπαδεῖν ἀλλʼ ἀρούραισι πυροφόροις, οὕτω τὴν κολακείαν ὁρῶμεν οὐ πένησιν οὐδʼ ἀδόξοις οὐδʼ ἀδυνάτοις ἀκολουθοῦσαν, ἀλλʼ οἴκων τε καὶ πραγμάτων μεγάλων ὀλίσθημα καὶ νόσημα γιγνομένην, πολλάκις δὲ καὶ βασιλείας καὶ ἡγεμονίας ἀνατρέπουσαν· οὐ μικρὸν ἔργον ἐστὶν οὐδὲ φαύλης δεόμενον προνοίας ἡ περὶ αὐτὴν ἐπίσκεψις, ὡς ἂν μάλιστα περίφωρος οὖσα μὴ βλάπτῃ μηδὲ διαβάλλῃ τὴν φιλίαν. οἱ μὲν γὰρ φθεῖρες ἀπίασιν ἀπὸ τῶν τελευτώντων καὶ ἀπολείπουσι τὰ σώματα σβεννυμένου τοῦ αἵματος ἐξ οὗ τρέφονται, τοὺς δὲ κόλακας οὐδʼ ὅλως ἰδεῖν ἔστι πράγμασι ξηροῖς καὶ κατεψυγμένοις προσιόντας, ἀλλὰ ταῖς δόξαις καὶ ταῖς δυνάμεσιν ἐπιτίθενται καὶ αὔξονται, ταχὺ δʼ ἐν ταῖς μεταβολαῖς ὑπορρέουσιν, ἀλλὰ τὴν τότε πεῖραν οὐ δεῖ περιμένειν ἀνωφελῆ, μᾶλλον δὲ βλαβερὰν καὶ οὐκ ἀκίνδυνον οὖσαν. χαλεπὴ γὰρ ἐν καιρῷ δεομένῳ φίλων ἡ τῶν μὴ φίλων αἴσθησις, ἀντικαταλλαγὴν οὐκ ἔχουσα χρηστοῦ καὶ βεβαίου πρὸς ἀβέβαιον καὶ κίβδηλον. ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ νόμισμα δεῖ τὸν φίλον ἔχειν πρὸ τῆς χρείας δεδοκιμασμένον, μὴ ὑπὸ τῆς χρείας ἐλεγχόμενον. οὐ γὰρ δεῖ βλαβέντας αἰσθέσθαι, ἀλλʼ ὅπως μὴ βλαβῶμεν ἐμπειρίαν λαβεῖν καὶ κατανόησιν τοῦ κόλακος· εἰ δὲ μή, ταὐτὸ πεισόμεθα τοῖς αἰσθανομένοις τῷ προγεγεῦσθαι τῶν θανασίμων φαρμάκων εἰς τὴν κρίσιν ἀπολλύντες ἑαυτοὺς καὶ διαφθείροντες. οὔτε γὰρ δὴ τούτους ἐπαινοῦμεν οὔθʼ ὅσοι τὸν φίλον εἰς τὸ καλὸν τιθέμενοι καὶ ὠφέλιμον οἴονται τοὺς κεχαρισμένως ὁμιλοῦντας εὐθὺς ἔχειν ἐπʼ αὐτοφώρῳ κόλακας εἰλημμένους. οὐδὲ γὰρ ἀηδὴς ὁ φίλος οὐδʼ ἄκρατος, οὐδὲ τῷ πικρῷ σεμνὸν ἡ φιλία καὶ αὐστηρῷ, ἀλλʼ αὐτὸ δὴ τοῦτο τὸ καλὸν καὶ τὸ σεμνὸν αὐτῆς ἡδὺ καὶ ποθούμενόν ἐστι,
πὰρ δʼ αὐτῇ Χάριτές τε καὶ Ἵμερος οἰκίʼ ἔθεντο,
καὶ οὐ δυστυχοῦντι μόνον
εἰς ὄμματʼ εὔνου φωτὸς ἐμβλέψαι γλυκὺ
κατʼ Εὐριπίδην, ἀλλʼ οὐδὲν ἧττον τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς ἡδονὴν ἐπιφέρουσα καὶ χάριν ἢ τῶν κακῶν ἀφαιροῦσα τὰς λύπας καὶ τὰς ἀπορίας παρέπεται. καὶ καθάπερ ὁ Εὔηνος εἶπε, τῶν ἡδυσμάτων τὸ πῦρ εἶναι κράτιστον, οὕτω τῷ βίῳ μίξας τὴν φιλίαν ὁ θεὸς ἅπαντα φαιδρὰ καὶ γλυκέα καὶ προσφιλῆ ταύτης παρούσης καὶ συναπολαυούσης ἐποίησεν. ἐπεὶ πῶς ἂν ὁ κόλαξ ὑπεδύετο ταῖς ἡδοναῖς, εἰ τὴν φιλίαν ἑώρα τὸ ἡδὺ μηδαμοῦ προσιεμένην; οὐκ ἔστιν εἰπεῖν. ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ τὰ ψευδόχρυσα καὶ τὰ κίβδηλα τὴν λαμπρότητα τοῦ χρυσοῦ καὶ τὸ γάνωμα μιμεῖται μόνον, οὕτως ἔοικεν ὁ κόλαξ τοῦ φίλου τὸ ἡδὺ καὶ κεχαρισμένον ἐκμιμούμενος ἀεὶ παρέχειν ἱλαρὸν καὶ ἀνθηρὸν καὶ πρὸς μηδὲν ἀντιβαίνοντα μηδʼ ὑπεναντιούμενον ἑαυτόν, ὅθεν οὐδὲ τοὺς ἐπαινοῦντας εὐθὺς ὡς κολακεύοντας ἁπλῶς ὑφορατέον ἔπαινος γὰρ οὐχ ἧττον ἐν καιρῷ ψόγου φιλίᾳ προσήκει, μᾶλλον δὲ τὸ μὲν δύσκολον ὅλως καὶ μεμψίμοιρον ἄφιλον καὶ ἀνομίλητον, τῆς δʼ ἀφθόνως καὶ προθύμως τὸν ἐπὶ τοῖς καλοῖς ἀποδιδούσης ἔπαινον εὐνοίας καὶ τὸ νουθετοῦν αὖθις καὶ παρρησιαζόμενον ἐλαφρῶς καὶ ἀλύπως ὑπομένομεν, πιστεύοντες καὶ ἀγαπῶντες ὡς ἀναγκαίως ψέγοντα τὸν ἡδέως ἐπαινοῦντα.

[¶2] 3. One might say, then, that it is difficult to distinguish flatterer and friend, if neither pleasure nor praise shows the difference; indeed, in services and courtesies we may often observe that friendship is outstripped by flattery. How can it be helped, will be our answer, if we are in quest of the real flatterer, who takes hold of the business with adroitness and skill, and if we do not, like most people, regard as flatterers merely those self-ministering trencherslaves, so called, whose tongue will be wagging, as one man has put it, as soon as the water is brought for the hands, for whom one dish and one glass of wine is enough to show their ill breeding with its display of vulgarity and offensiveness? Surely there was no need to press the case against Melanthius, the parasite of Alexander of Pherae, who, in answer to those who asked how Alexander was slain, said, “By a stab through his ribs that hit me in my belly ”; nor those who throng round a rich man’s table whom “Not fire, nor steel, Nor bronze can keep From coming each day to dine.” nor the flatteresses in Cyprus, who when they had crossed over into Syria, acquired the nickname of “ladderesses,” because by prostrating themselves they afforded by their bodies a means for the women of the royal household to mount their carriages.

> Greek: 3. χαλεπὸν οὖν φαίη τις ἄν ἐστι διακρῖναι τὸν κόλακα καὶ τὸν φίλον, εἰ μήθʼ ἡδονῇ μήτʼ ἐπαίνῳ διαφέρουσι· καὶ γὰρ ἐν ὑπουργίαις καὶ διακονίαις πολλάκις ἰδεῖν ἐστι τὴν φιλίαν ὑπὸ τῆς κολακείας παρατρεχομένην. τί δʼ οὐ μέλλει, φήσομεν, ἂν τὸν ἀληθινὸν κόλακα καὶ μετὰ δεινότητος καὶ τέχνης ἁπτόμενον τοῦ πράγματος διώκωμεν, ἀλλὰ μή, καθάπερ οἱ πολλοί, τοὺς αὐτοληκύθους τούτους λεγομένους καὶ τραπεζέας καὶ μετὰ τὸ κατὰ χειρὸς ὕδωρ ἀκουομένους ὥς τις εἶπε κόλακας νομίζωμεν, ὧν ἐν μιᾷ λοπάδι καὶ κύλικι μετὰ βωμολοχίας καὶ βδελυρίας ἡ ἀνελευθερία γίγνεται κατάδηλος; οὐ γὰρ δήπου Μελάνθιον ἔδει τὸν Ἀλεξάνδρου τοῦ Φεραίου παράσιτον ἐξελέγχειν, ὃς τοῖς ἐρωτῶσι πῶς Ἀλέξανδρος ἐσφάγη διὰ τῆς πλευρᾶς ἔλεγεν εἰς τὴν γαστέρα τὴν ἐμήν, οὐδὲ τοὺς ἀμφὶ πλουσίαν τράπεζαν ἐγκυκλουμένους, οὓς οὐ πῦρ οὐ σίδαρος οὐδὲ χαλκὸς εἴργει μὴ φοιτᾶν ἐπὶ δεῖπνον, οὐδὲ τὰς ἐν Κύπρῳ κολακίδας, ἐπειδὴ διέβησαν εἰς Συρίαν, κλιμακίδας προσαγορευθείσας, ὅτι ταῖς γυναιξὶ τῶν βασιλέων ἀναβαίνειν ἐπὶ τὰς ἁμάξας διʼ αὑτῶν ὑποκατακλινόμεναι παρεῖχον.

[¶3] 4. Against whom, then, must we be on our guard? Against the man who does not seem to flatter and will not admit that he does so, the man who is never to be found hanging round the kitchen, never caught noting the shadow on the sun-dial to see if it is getting towards dinner-time, never gets drunk and drops down in a heap on the floor; he is usually sober, he is always busy, and must have a hand in everything; he has a mind to be in all secrets, and in general plays the part of friend with the gravity of a tragedian and not like a comedian or a buffoon. For as Plato says, “it is the height of dishonesty to seem to be honest when one is not,” and so the flattery which we must regard as difficult to deal with is that which is hidden, not that which is openly avowed, that which is serious, not that which is meant as a joke. For such flattery infects even true friendship with distrust, unless we give heed, for in many respects it coincides with friendship. Now it is true that Gobryas, having forced his way into a dark room along with the fleeing Magian, and finding himself engaged in a desperate struggle, called upon Darius, who had stopped beside them and was in doubt what to do, to strike even though he should pierce them both; but we, if we can by no means approve the sentiment, “Down with a foe though a friend go too,” have great cause to fear in seeking to detach the flatterer, who through many similarities is closely interlocked with the friend, lest in some way we either cast out the useful along with the bad, or else, in trying to spare what is close to our hearts, we fall upon what is injurious. So, I think, when wild seeds which have a shape and size approximating to wheat have got mixed with it, the process of cleaning is difficult (for either they do not pass out through a finer sieve, or else they do pass out through a coarser, and the wheat along with them); in like manner, flattery which blends itself with every emotion, every movement, need, and habit, is hard to separate from friendship.

> Greek: 4. τίνα οὖν δεῖ φυλάττεσθαι; τὸν μὴ δοκοῦντα μηδʼ ὁμολογοῦντα κολακεύειν, ὃν οὐκ ἔστι λαβεῖν περὶ τοὐπτανεῖον, οὐδʼ ἁλίσκεται σκιὰν καταμετρῶν ἐπὶ δεῖπνον, οὐδʼ ἔρριπται μεθυσθεὶς ὅπως ἔτυχεν, ἀλλὰ νήφει τὰ πολλὰ καὶ πολυπραγμονεῖ καὶ πράξεων μετέχειν οἴεται δεῖν καὶ λόγων ἀπορρήτων βούλεται κοινωνὸς εἶναι, καὶ ὅλως τραγικός ἐστιν οὐ σατυρικὸς φιλίας ὑποκριτὴς οὐδὲ κωμικός. ὡς γὰρ ὁ Πλάτων φησὶν ἐσχάτης ἀδικίας εἶναι δοκεῖν δίκαιον μὴ ὄντα, καὶ κολακείαν ἡγητέον χαλεπὴν τὴν λανθάνουσαν οὐ τὴν ὁμολογοῦσαν, οὐδὲ τὴν παίζουσαν ἀλλὰ τὴν σπουδάζουσαν αὕτη γὰρ ἀναπίμπλησι καὶ τὴν ἀληθινὴν φιλίαν ἀπιστίας, συνεμπίπτουσαν αὐτῇ πολλάκις, ἂν μὴ προσέχωμεν. ὁ μὲν οὖν Γωβρύης εἰς σκοτεινὸν οἴκημα τῷ μάγῳ φεύγοντι συνεισπεσὼν καὶ γενόμενος ἐν διαπάλαις ἐπιστάντα καὶ διαποροῦντα τὸν Δαρεῖον ἐκέλευσεν ὠθεῖν καὶ διʼ ἀμφοτέρων· ἡμεῖς δέ, εἰ μηδαμῆ μηδαμῶς ἐπαινοῦμεν τὸ ἐρρέτω φίλος σὺν ἐχθρῷ, διὰ πολλῶν ὁμοιοτήτων τὸν κόλακα τῷ φίλῳ συμπεπλεγμένον ἀποσπάσαι ζητοῦντες ὀφείλομεν εὖ μάλα φοβεῖσθαι μή πως ἢ τῷ κακῷ τὸ χρήσιμον συνεκβάλωμεν ἢ φειδόμενοι τοῦ οἰκείου τῷ βλάπτοντι περιπέσωμεν. ὥσπερ γὰρ οἶμαι τῶν ἀγρίων σπερμάτων ὅσα καὶ σχῆμα καὶ μέγεθος παραπλήσιον ἔχοντα τῷ πυρῷ συμμέμικται χαλεπὴν ἔχει τὴν ἀποκάθαρσιν γὰρ οὐ διεκπίπτει τῶν στενοτέρων πόρων ἢ συνεκπίπτει διὰ τῶν ἀραιῶν, οὕτως ἡ κολακεία τῆς φιλίας εἰς πᾶν πάθος καὶ πᾶν κίνημα καὶ χρείαν καὶ συνήθειαν ἑαυτὴν καταμιγνύουσα δυσχώριστός ἐστιν.

[¶4] 5. For the very reason, however, that friendship is the most pleasant thing in the world, and because nothing else gives greater delight, the flatterer allures by means of pleasures and concerns himself with pleasures. And just because graciousness and usefulness go with friendship (which is the reason why they say that a friend is more indispensable than fire and water), the flatterer thrusts himself into services for us, striving always to appear earnest, unremitting, and diligent. And inasmuch as that which most especially cements a friendship begun is a likeness of pursuits and characters, and since to take delight in the same things and avoid the same things is what generally brings people together in the first place, and gets them acquainted through the bond of sympathy, the flatterer takes note of this fact, and adjusts and shapes himself, as though he were so much inert matter, endeavouring to adapt and mould himself to fit those whom he attacks through imitation; and he is so supple in changes and so plausible in his copyings that we may exclaim: “Achilles’ self thou art and not his son.” But the most unprincipled trick of all that he has is this: perceiving that frankness of speech, by common report and belief, is the language of friendship especially (as an animal has its peculiar cry), and, on the other hand, that lack of frankness is unfriendly and ignoble, he does not allow even this to escape imitation, but, just as clever cooks employ bitter extracts and astringent flavourings to remove the cloying effect of sweet things, so flatterers apply a frankness which is not genuine or beneficial, but which, as it were, winks while it frowns, and does nothing but tickle. For these reasons, then, the man is hard to detect, as is the case with some animals to which Nature has given the faculty of changing their hue, so that they exactly conform to the colours and objects beneath them. And since the flatterer uses resemblances to deceive and to wrap about him, it is our task to use the differences in order to unwrap him and lay him bare, in the act, as Plato puts it, of “adorning himself with alien colours and forms for want of any of his own.”

> Greek: 5. ὅτι μέντοι γε πάντων ἥδιστόν ἐστιν ἡ φιλία καὶ οὐδὲν ἄλλο μᾶλλον εὐφραίνει, διὰ τοῦτο καὶ ὁ κόλαξ ἡδοναῖς ὑπάγεται καὶ περὶ ἡδονάς ἐστιν. ὅτι δʼ ἡ χάρις καὶ ἡ χρεία τῇ φιλίᾳ παρέπεται καθʼ ὃ δὴ καὶ λέγεται πυρὸς καὶ ὕδατος ὁ φίλος ἀναγκαιότερος εἶναι, διὰ τοῦτʼ ἐμβάλλων εἰς τὰς ὑπουργίας ἑαυτὸν ὁ κόλαξ ἁμιλλᾶται σπουδαστικὸς ἀεὶ φαίνεσθαι καὶ ἄοκνος καὶ πρόθυμος. ἐπεὶ δὲ τὸ μάλιστα φιλίας ἀρχὴν συνέχον ὁμοιότης ἐστὶν ἐπιτηδευμάτων καὶ ἠθῶν, καὶ ὅλως τὸ χαίρειν τε τοῖς αὐτοῖς καὶ τὸ ταὐτὰ φεύγειν πρῶτον εἰς ταὐτὸ συνάγει καὶ συνίστησι διὰ τῆς ὁμοιοπαθείας, τοῦτο κατιδὼν ὁ κόλαξ αὑτὸν ὥσπερ ὕλην τινὰ ῥυθμίζει καὶ σχηματίζει, περιαρμόσαι καὶ περιπλάσαι ζητῶν οἷς ἂν ἐπιχειρῇ διὰ μιμήσεως, ὑγρὸς ὢν μεταβάλλεσθαι καὶ πιθανὸς ἐπὶ τὰς ἐξομοιώσεις, ὥστʼ εἰπεῖν
οὐ παῖς Ἀχιλλέως, ἀλλʼ ἐκεῖνος αὐτὸς εἶ
ὃ δὲ πάντων ἐστὶν αὐτοῦ πανουργότατον, αἰσθανόμενος τὴν παρρησίαν καὶ λεγομένην καὶ δοκοῦσαν ἰδίαν εἶναι φωνὴν ὥσπερ τινὸς ζῴου τῆς φιλίας, τὸ δʼ ἀπαρρησίαστον ἄφιλον καὶ ἀγεννές, οὐδὲ ταύτην ἀμίμητον ἀπολέλοιπεν, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ οἱ δεινοὶ τῶν ὀψοποιῶν τοῖς πικροῖς χυμοῖς καὶ αὐστηροῖς ἡδύσμασι χρῶνται, τῶν γλυκέων ἀφαιροῦντες τὸ πλήσμιον, οὕτως οἱ κόλακες οὐκ ἀληθινὴν οὐδʼ ὠφέλιμον ἀλλʼ οἷον ἐπιλλώπτουσαν ἐξ ὀφρύος καὶ γαργαλίζουσαν ἀτεχνῶς παρρησίαν προσφέρουσιν. ἔστι μὲν οὖν διὰ ταῦτα δυσφώρατος ὁ ἀνήρ, ὥσπερ τῶν θηρίων ὅσα πεφυκότα τὴν χρόαν τρέπεσθαι συναφομοιοῦται τοῖς ὑποκειμένοις χρώμασι καὶ χωρίοις· ἐπεὶ δʼ ἐκεῖνος ἐξαπατᾷ τε καὶ περικαλύπτεται ταῖς ὁμοιότησιν, ἡμέτερον ἔργον ἐστὶ ταῖς διαφοραῖς ἀνακαλύπτειν καὶ ἀπογυμνοῦν αὐτὸν ἀλλοτρίοις χρώμασι καὶ σχήμασιν, φησιν ὁ Πλάτων, χήτει οἰκείων κοσμούμενον εὐθὺς οὖν ἀπὸ τῆς ἀρχῆς σκοπῶμεν.

[¶5] 6. Let us, then, consider this matter from the beginning. We have previously said that with most people the beginning of friendship is their congenial disposition and nature, which welcomes the same habits and traits, as nearly as may be, and takes delight in the same pursuits, activities, and avocations; on the subject of this it has also been said: “An old man hath the sweetest tongue for old, And child for child, and woman suits her kind, A sick man suits the sick; misfortune’s thrall Hath charms for him who hath just met mischance.” So then the flatterer, knowing that when people take delight in the same things it is only natural that they find enjoyment and satisfaction in each other’s company, adopts this course in making his first attempts to approach each victim and to secure a lodgement near him; he acts as though the man were some animal running at large in a pasture, and by affecting the same pursuits, the same avocations, interests and manner of life, he gradually gets close to him, and rubs up against him so as to take on his colouring, until his victim gives him some hold and becomes docile and accustomed to his touch: he is ever disapproving actions and lives and persons which he perceives his victim to dislike, while if anything pleases the other he commends, not with moderation, but so as plainly to outdo him in amazement and wonder, and at the same time he stoutly maintains that his affection and hatred are the result of judgement rather than of emotion.

> Greek: 6. ἀρχὴν δὲ φιλίας ἔφαμεν εἶναι τοῖς πλείστοις τὴν ταὐτὰ μὲν ἐπιεικῶς ἀσπαζομένην ἔθη καὶ ἤθη τοῖς δʼ αὐτοῖς χαίρουσαν ἐπιτηδεύμασι καὶ πράγμασι καὶ διατριβαῖς ὁμοιοπαθῆ διάθεσιν καὶ φύσιν, ἐφʼ ἧς καὶ ταῦτʼ εἴρηται
γέρων γέροντι γλῶσσαν ἡδίστην ἔχει,
παῖς παιδί, καὶ γυναικὶ πρόσφορον γυνή,
νοσῶν τʼ ἀνὴρ νοσοῦντι, καὶ δυσπραξίᾳ
ληφθεὶς ἐπῳδός ἐστι τῷ πειρωμένῳ
εἰδὼς οὖν ὁ κόλαξ ὅτι τὸ χαίρειν τοῖς ὁμοίοις καὶ τὸ χρῆσθαι καὶ ἀγαπᾶν ἔμφυτόν ἐστι, ταύτῃ πρῶτον ἐπιχειρεῖ πλησιάζειν ἑκάστῳ καὶ παρασκηνοῦν, ὥσπερ ἔν τισι νομαῖς τοῖς αὐτοῖς ἐπιτηδεύμασι καὶ διατριβαῖς περὶ ταὐτὰ καὶ σπουδαῖς καὶ διαίταις ἀτρέμα παραβάλλων καὶ προσαναχρωννύμενος, ἄχρι οὗ λαβὴν παραδῷ καὶ ψαύοντι τιθασὸς γένηται καὶ συνήθης, ψέγων μὲν οἷς ἐκεῖνον αἰσθάνεται πράγμασι καὶ βίοις καὶ ἀνθρώποις ἀχθόμενον, ἐπαινέτης δὲ τῶν ἀρεσκόντων. οὐ μέτριος ἀλλʼ ὥσθʼ ὑπερβάλλειν σὺν ἐκπλήξει καὶ θαύματι, φαινόμενος, βεβαιῶν δὲ τὸ φιλοῦν καὶ τὸ μισοῦν ὡς κρίσει μᾶλλον ἢ πάθει γιγνόμενον.

[¶6] 7. What, then, is the method of exposing him, and by what differences is it possible to detect that he is not really like-minded, or even in a fair way to become like-minded, but is merely imitating such a character? In the first place, it is necessary to observe the uniformity and permanence of his tastes, whether he always takes delight in the same things, and commends always the same things, and whether he directs and ordains his own life according to one pattern, as becomes a free-born man and a lover of congenial friendship and intimacy; for such is the conduct of a friend. But the flatterer, since he has no abiding-place of character to dwell in, and since he leads a life not of his own choosing but another’s, moulding and adapting himself to suit another, is not simple, not one, but variable and many in one, and, like water that is poured into one receptacle after another, he is constantly on the move from place to place, and changes his shape to fit his receiver. The capture of the ape, as it seems, is effected while he is trying to imitate man by moving and dancing as the man does: but the flatterer himself leads on and entices others, not imitating all persons alike, but with one he joins in dancing and singing, and with another in wrestling and getting covered with dust; if he gets hold of a huntsman fond of the chase, he follows on, all but shouting out the words of Phaedra: “Ye gods, but I yearn to encourage the hounds, As I haste on the track of the dapple deer.” He does not trouble himself in regard to the quarry, but he goes about to net and ensnare the huntsman himself. But if he is on the track of a scholarly and studious young man, now again he is absorbed in books, his beard grows down to his feet, the scholar’s gown is the thing now and a stoic indifference, and endless talk about Plato’s numbers and right-angled triangles. At another time, if some easy-tempered man fall in his way, who is a hard drinker and rich, “Then stands forth the wily Odysseus stripped of his tatters;” off goes the scholar’s gown, the beard is mowed down like an unprofitable crop; it’s wine-coolers and glasses now, bursts of laughter while walking in the streets, and frivolous jokes against the devotees of philosophy. Just so at Syracuse, it is said, after Plato had arrived, and an insane ardour for philosophy laid hold on Dionysius, the king’s palace was filled with dust by reason of the multitude of men that were drawing their geometrical diagrams in it: but when Plato fell out of favour, and Dionysius, shaking himself free from philosophy, returned post-haste to wine and women and foolish talk and licentiousness, then grossness and forgetfulness and fatuity seized upon the whole people as though they had undergone a transformation in Circe’s house. A further testimony is to be found in the action of the great flatterers and the demagogues, of whom the greatest was Alcibiades. At Athens he indulged in frivolous jesting, kept a racing-stable, and led a life full of urbanity and agreeable enjoyment; in Lacedaemon he kept his hair cropped close, he wore the coarsest clothing, he bathed in cold water; in Thrace he was a fighter and a hard drinker: but when he came to Tissaphernes, he took to soft living, and luxury, and pretentiousness. So by making himself like to all these people and conforming his way to theirs he tried to conciliate them and win their favour. Not of this type, however, was Epameinondas or Agesilaus, who, although they had to do with a very large number of men and cities and modes of life, yet maintained everywhere their own proper character in dress, conduct, language, and life. So, too, Plato in Syracuse was the same sort of man as in the Academy, and to Dionysius he was the same as to Dion.

> Greek: 7. πῶς οὖν ἐλέγχεται καὶ τίσιν ἁλίσκεται διαφοραῖς, οὐκ ὢν ὅμοιος οὐδὲ γιγνόμενος ἀλλὰ μιμούμενος ὅμοιον; πρῶτον μὲν ὁρᾶν δεῖ τὴν ὁμαλότητα τῆς προαιρέσεως καὶ τὸ ἐνδελεχές, εἰ χαίρει τε τοῖς αὐτοῖς ἀεὶ καὶ ταὐτὰ ἐπαινεῖ καὶ πρὸς ἓν ἀπευθύνει καὶ καθίστησι παράδειγμα τὸν ἑαυτοῦ βίον, ὥσπερ ἐλευθέρῳ φιλίας ὁμοιοτρόπου καὶ συνηθείας ἐραστῇ προσήκει. τοιοῦτος γὰρ ὁ φίλος. ὁ δὲ κόλαξ ἅτε δὴ μίαν ἑστίαν ἤθους οὐκ ἔχων μόνιμον οὐδʼ ἑαυτῷ βίον ζῶν αἱρετόν, ἀλλʼ ἑτέρῳ καὶ πρὸς ἕτερον πλάττων καὶ προσαρμόττων ἑαυτόν, οὐχ ἁπλοῦς οὐδʼ εἷς ἀλλὰ παντοδαπός ἐστι καὶ ποικίλος, εἰς ἄλλον ἐξ ἄλλου τόπον ὥσπερ τὸ μετερώμενον ὕδωρ περιρρέων ἀεὶ καὶ συσχηματιζόμενος τοῖς ὑποδεχομένοις. ὁ μὲν γὰρ πίθηκος, ὡς ἔοικε μιμεῖσθαι τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἐπιχειρῶν ἁλίσκεται συγκινούμενος καὶ συνορχούμενος, ὁ δὲ κόλαξ αὐτὸς ἑτέρους ἐπάγεται καὶ παλεύει, μιμούμενος οὐχ ὁμοίως ἅπαντας ἀλλὰ τῷ μὲν συνορχούμενος καὶ συνᾴδων, τῷ δὲ συμπαλαίων καὶ συγκονιόμενος θηρατικοῦ δὲ καὶ κυνηγετικοῦ λαβόμενος μονονοὺ τὰ τῆς Φαίδρας ἀναβοῶν ἕπεται
πρὸς θεῶν ἔραμαι κυσὶ θωΰξαι
βαλιαῖς ἐλάφοις ἐγχριπτόμενος,
καὶ οὐδὲν αὐτῷ πρᾶγμα πρὸς τὸ θηρίον, ἀλλʼ αὐτὸν ἐκσαγηνεύει καὶ περιβάλλεται τὸν κυνηγόν. ἂν δὲ θηρεύῃ φιλόλογον καὶ φιλομαθῆ νέον, αὖθις ἐν βιβλίοις ἐστὶ καὶ πώγων ποδήρης καθεῖται καὶ τριβωνοφορία τὸ χρῆμα καὶ ἀδιαφορία, καὶ διὰ στόματος οἵ τε ἀριθμοὶ καὶ τὰ ὀρθογώνια τρίγωνα Πλάτωνος. εἴ τε ῥᾴθυμός τις ἐμπέπαικεν αὖθις καὶ φιλοπότης καὶ πλούσιος,
αὐτὰρ ὁ γυμνώθη ῥακέων πολύμητις Ὀδυσσεύς,
ἔρριπται μὲν ὁ τρίβων, κατακείρεται δʼ ὁ πώγων ὥσπερ ἄκαρπον θέρος, ψυκτῆρες δὲ καὶ φιάλαι καὶ γέλωτες ἐν περιπάτοις καὶ σκώμματα πρὸς τοὺς φιλοσοφοῦντας, ὥσπερ ἐν Συρακούσαις φασίν, ὁπηνίκα Πλάτων ἀφίκετο, καὶ Διονύσιον ζῆλος ἔσχε περιμανὴς φιλοσοφίας, τὰ βασίλεια κονιορτοῦ γέμειν ὑπὸ πλήθους τῶν γεωμετρούντων· ἐπεὶ δὲ προσέκρουσε Πλάτων, καὶ Διονύσιος ἐκπεσὼν φιλοσοφίας πάλιν εἰς πότους καὶ γύναια καὶ τὸ ληρεῖν καὶ ἀκολασταίνειν ἧκε φερόμενος, ἀθρόως ἅπαντας ὥσπερ ἐν Κίρκης μεταμορφωθέντας ἀμουσία καὶ λήθη καὶ εὐήθεια κατέσχε. μαρτυρεῖ δὲ καὶ τὰ τῶν μεγάλων ἔργα κολάκων καὶ τὰ τῶν δημαγωγῶν, ὧν ὁ μέγιστος Ἀλκιβιάδης, Ἀθήνησι μὲν σκώπτων καὶ ἱπποτροφῶν καὶ μετʼ εὐτραπελίας ζῶν καὶ χάριτος, ἐν δὲ Λακεδαίμονι, κειρόμενος ἐν χρῷ καὶ τριβωνοφορῶν καὶ ψυχρολουτῶν, ἐν δὲ Θρᾴκῃ πολεμῶν καὶ πίνων, ἐπεὶ δὲ πρὸς Τισσαφέρνην ἀφίκετο, τρυφῇ καὶ ἁβρότητι καὶ ἀλαζονείᾳ χρώμενος, ἐδημαγώγει καὶ καθωμίλει τῷ συναφομοιοῦν καὶ συνοικειοῦν ἑαυτὸν ἅπασιν. οὐ μὴν τοιοῦτος Ἐπαμεινώνδας οὐδʼ Ἀγησίλαος, ἀλλὰ πλείστοις ὁμιλήσαντες ἀνθρώποις καὶ πόλεσι καὶ βίοις τὸ προσῆκον ἦθος αὑτοῖς πανταχοῦ καὶ στολῇ καὶ διαίτῃ καὶ λόγῳ καὶ βίῳ διεφύλαττον. οὕτω καὶ Πλάτων ἐν Συρακούσαις οἷος ἐν Ἀκαδημείᾳ, καὶ πρὸς Διονύσιον οἷος πρὸς Δίωνα.

[¶7] 8. The changes of the flatterer, which are like those of a cuttle-fish, may be most easily detected if a man pretends that he is very changeable himself and disapproves the mode of life which he previously approved, and suddenly shows a liking for actions, conduct, or language which used to offend him. For he will see that the flatterer is nowhere constant, has no character of his own, that it is not because of his own feelings that he loves and hates, and rejoices and grieves, but that, like a mirror, he only catches the images of alien feelings, lives and movements. For he is the kind of man, who, if you chance to blame one of your friends before him, will exclaim, “You’ve been slow in discovering the man’s character; for my part I took a dislike to him long ago.” But if, on the next occasion, you change about again and commend the man, then you may be sure the flatterer will avow that he shares your pleasure and thanks you for the man’s sake, and that he believes in him. If you say that you must adopt some other sort of life, as, for example, by changing from public life to ease and quietness, then he says, “Yes, we ought long ago to have secured release from turmoils and jealousies.” But again if you appear to be bent on public activity and speaking, then he chimes in, “Your thoughts are worthy of you; ease is a pleasant thing, but it is inglorious and mean.” Without more ado we must say to such a man: “Stranger, you seem to me now a different man than aforetime.” I have no use for a friend that shifts about just as I do and nods assent just as I do (for my shadow better performs that function), but I want one that tells the truth as I do, and decides for himself as I do. This is one method, then, of detecting the flatterer;

> Greek: 8. τὰς δὲ τοῦ κόλακος ὥσπερ πολύποδος τροπὰς ῥᾷστα φωράσειεν ἄν τις αὐτὸς ἐπὶ πολλὰ δοκῶν τρέπεσθαι, καὶ ψέγων μὲν ὃν ἐπῄνει πρότερον βίον, οἷς δʼ ἤχθετο πράγμασιν ἢ διαίταις ἢ λόγοις ὡς ἀρέσκοντας ἐξαίφνης προσιέμενος. ὄψεται γὰρ αὐτὸν οὐδαμοῦ βέβαιον οὐδʼ ἴδιον οὐδʼ οἰκείῳ πάθει φιλοῦντα καὶ μισοῦντα καὶ χαίροντα καὶ λυπούμενον, ἀλλὰ δίκην κατόπτρου παθῶν ὀθνείων καὶ βίων καὶ κινημάτων εἰκόνας ἀναδεχόμενον. τοιοῦτος γὰρ οἷος, εἰ ψέγοις τινὰ τῶν φίλων πρὸς αὐτόν, εἰπεῖν βραδέως πεφώρακας τὸν ἄνθρωπον· ἐμοὶ μὲν γὰρ οὐδὲ πρότερον ἤρεσκεν ἂν. δʼ αὖ πάλιν ἐπαινῇς μεταβαλόμενος, νὴ Δία φήσει συνήδεσθαι καὶ χάριν ἔχειν αὐτὸς ὑπὲρ τοῦ ἀνθρώπου καὶ πιστεύειν. ἂν δὲ βίον ἀλλακτέον ἕτερον εἴπῃς, οἷον εἰς ἀπραγμοσύνην καὶ ἡσυχίαν ἐκ πολιτείας μεταβαλόμενος, πάλαι γʼ ἐχρῆν φησὶ θορύβων ἡμᾶς ἀπηλλάχθαι καὶ φθόνων ἂν δὲ πάλιν ὁρμᾶν δοκῇς ἐπὶ τὸ πράττειν καὶ λέγειν, ὑπεφώνησεν ἄξια σαυτοῦ φρονεῖς· ἡ δʼ ἀπραγμοσύνη γλυκὺ μέν, ἀλλʼ ἄδοξον καὶ ταπεινόν εὐθὺς οὖν λέγειν χρὴ πρὸς τὸν τοιοῦτον
ἀλλοῖός μοι, ξεῖνε, φάνης νέον ἠὲ πάροιθεν
οὐ δέομαι φίλου συμμεθισταμένου καὶ συνεπινεύοντος γὰρ σκιὰ ταῦτα ποιεῖ μᾶλλον, ἀλλὰ συναληθεύοντος καὶ συνεπικρίνοντος. εἷς μὲν οὖν τῶν ἐλέγχων τρόπος τοιοῦτός ἐστιν·

[¶8] 9. but here follows a second point of difference which ought to be observed, in his habits of imitation. The true friend is neither an imitator of everything nor ready to commend everything, but only the best things; “His nature ’tis to share not hate but love,” as Sophocles has it, and most assuredly to share also in right conduct and in love for the good, not in error and evil-doing, unless, as a result of association and close acquaintance, an emanation and infection, like that which comes from a diseased eye, contaminate him against his will with a touch of baseness or error. In a similar way it is said that close acquaintances used to copy Plato’s stoop, Aristotle’s lisp, and King Alexander’s twisted neck as well as the harshness of his voice in conversation. In fact, some people unconsciously acquire most of their peculiarities from the traits or the lives of others. But the flatterer’s case is exactly the same as that of the chameleon. For the chameleon can make himself like to every colour except white, and the flatterer, being utterly incapable of making himself like to another in any quality that is really worth while, leaves no shameful thing unimitated; but even as bad painters, who by reason of incompetence are unable to attain to the beautiful, depend upon wrinkles, moles, and scars to bring out their resemblances, so the flatterer makes himself an imitator of licentiousness, superstition, passionate anger, harshness toward servants, and distrust toward household and kinsmen. For by nature he is of himself prone to the worse, and he seems very far removed from disapproving what is shameful, since he imitates it. In fact it is those who follow a higher ideal and show distress and annoyance at the errors of their friends, who fall under suspicion. This is the thing that brought Dion into disfavour with Dionysius, Samius with Philip, Cleomenes with Ptolemy, and finally brought about their undoing. But the flatterer, desiring to be and to seem pleasant and loyal at the same time, affects to take greater delight in the worse things, as one who for the great love he bears will take no offence even at what is base, but feels with his friend and shares his nature in all things. For this reason flatterers will not be denied a share even in the chances of life which happen without our will; but they flatter the sickly by pretending to be afflicted with the same malady, and not to be able to see or hear distinctly if they have to do with those who are dim-sighted or hard of hearing, just as the flatterers of Dionysius, whose sight was failing, used to bump against one another and upset the dishes at dinner. And some seize upon afflictions rather as a means to insinuate themselves still more, and carry their fellow-feeling so far as to include inmost secrets. If they know, for example, that one or another is unfortunate in his marriage, or suspicious towards his sons or his household, they do not spare themselves, but lament over their own children or wife or kinsmen or household, divulging certain secret faults of theirs. For such similarity makes fellow-feeling stronger, so that the others, conceiving themselves to have received pledges, are more inclined to let out some of their own secrets to the flatterers, and having so done they take up with them, and are afraid to abandon the confidential relation. I personally know of one man who put away his wife after his friend had sent his own away; but he was caught visiting her in secret and sending messages to her after his friend’s wife had got wind of what was going on. Quite unacquainted with a flatterer, then, was he who thought that these iambic verses applied to a flatterer rather than to a crab: “His body is all belly; eyes that look All ways; a beast that travels on its teeth.” For such a description is that of a parasite, one of “The saucepan friends and friends postprandial,” as Eupolis puts it.

> Greek: 9. ἑτέραν δὲ δεῖ ταῖς ὁμοιώσεσι τοιαύτην παραφυλάττειν διαφοράν; ὁ μὲν ἀληθὴς φίλος οὔτε μιμητής ἐστι πάντων οὔτʼ ἐπαινέτης πρόθυμος, ἀλλὰ τῶν ἀρίστων μόνων·
οὐ γὰρ συνέχθειν ἀλλὰ συμφιλεῖν ἔφυ
κατὰ τὸν Σοφοκλέα, καὶ νὴ Δία συγκατορθοῦν καὶ συμφιλοκαλεῖν, οὐ συναμαρτάνειν οὐδὲ συρρᾳδιουργεῖν, ἂν μή τις οἷον ὀφθαλμίας ἀπορροὴ καὶ ἀνάχρωσις ἄκοντα διʼ ὁμιλίαν καὶ συνήθειαν ἀναπλήσῃ φαυλότητος ἢ πλημμελείας τινός. ὥς που καὶ Πλάτωνος ἀπομιμεῖσθαί φασι τοὺς συνήθεις τὸ ἐπίκυρτον, Ἀριστοτέλους δὲ τὸν τραυλισμόν, Ἀλεξάνδρου δὲ τοῦ βασιλέως τὴν ἔγκλισιν τοῦ τραχήλου καὶ τὴν ἐν τῷ διαλέγεσθαι τραχύτητα τῆς φωνῆς· τὰ γὰρ πολλὰ λανθάνουσιν ἔνιοι καὶ ἀπὸ τῶν ἠθῶν καὶ ἀπὸ τῶν βίων ἀναλαμβάνοντες. ὁ δὲ κόλαξ ἀτεχνῶς τὸ τοῦ χαμαιλέοντος πέπονθεν. ἐκεῖνός τε γὰρ ἁπάσῃ χρόᾳ πλὴν τοῦ λευκοῦ συναφομοιοῦται, καὶ ὁ κόλαξ ἐν τοῖς ἀξίοις σπουδῆς ὅμοιον ἑαυτὸν ἐξαδυνατῶν παρέχειν οὐδὲν ἀπολείπει τῶν αἰσχρῶν ἀμίμητον, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ οἱ φαῦλοι ζωγράφοι τῶν καλῶν ἐφικνεῖσθαι μὴ δυνάμενοι διʼ ἀσθένειαν ἐν ῥυτίσι καὶ φακοῖς καὶ οὐλαῖς τὰς ὁμοιότητας ἀναφέρουσιν, οὕτως ἐκεῖνος ἀκρασίας γίγνεται μιμητής, ε δεισιδαιμονίας ἀκροχολίας, πικρίας πρὸς οἰκέτας, ἀπιστίας πρὸς οἰκείους καὶ συγγενεῖς. φύσει τε γὰρ ἀφʼ ἑαυτοῦ πρὸς τὰ χείρονα κατάντης ἐστί, καὶ δοκεῖ πορρωτάτω τοῦ ψέγειν τὸ αἰσχρὸν εἶναι μιμούμενος. ὕποπτοι γὰρ οἱ τὰ βελτίω ζηλοῦντες καὶ δοκοῦντες ἄχθεσθαι καὶ δυσκολαίνειν τοῖς ἁμαρτήμασι τῶν φίλων· ὃ δὴ καὶ Διονυσίῳ Δίωνα καὶ Σάμιον Φιλίππῳ καὶ Κλεομένη Πτολεμαίῳ διέβαλε καὶ ἀπώλεσεν. ὁ δὲ βουλόμενος εἶναι καὶ δοκεῖν ὁμοίως ἡδὺς ἅμα καὶ πιστὸς τοῖς χείροσι μᾶλλον ὑποκρίνεται χαίρειν, ὡς ὑπὸ τοῦ σφόδρα φιλεῖν οὐδὲ τὰ φαῦλα δυσχεραίνων, ἀλλὰ συμπαθὴς πᾶσι καὶ συμφυὴς γιγνόμενος. ὅθεν οὐδὲ τῶν ἀβουλήτων καὶ τυχηρῶν ἀμοιρεῖν ἀξιοῦσιν, ἀλλὰ καὶ νοσεῖν ὅμοια προσποιοῦνται, κολακεύοντες τοὺς νοσώδεις, καὶ μήτε βλέπειν ὀξὺ μήτʼ ἀκούειν, ἂν ὑποτύφλοις ἢ ὑποκώφοις συνῶσιν, ὥσπερ οἱ Διονυσίου κόλακες ἀμβλυωποῦντες ἐμπίπτοντες ἀλλήλοις καὶ τὰς παροψίδας ἐν τῷ δειπνεῖν καταβάλλοντες ἔνιοι δὲ καὶ μᾶλλον ἁπτόμενοι τῶν παθῶν ἐνδοτέρω ποιοῦσιν ἑαυτούς, καὶ καταμιγνύουσιν ἄχρι τῶν ἀπορρήτων τὰς ὁμοιοπαθείας. αἰσθόμενοι γὰρ ἢ περὶ γάμον δυστυχοῦντας ἢ πρὸς υἱοὺς ἢ πρὸς οἰκείους ὑπόπτως ἔχοντας αὐτοὶ σφῶν αὐτῶν ἀφειδοῦσι καὶ ἀποδύρονται περὶ τέκνων ἰδίων ἢ γυναικὸς ἢ συγγενῶν ἢ οἰκείων, αἰτίας τινὰς ἀπορρήτους ἐξαγορεύοντες ἡ γὰρ ὁμοιότης συμπαθεστέρους ποιεῖ, καὶ μᾶλλον ὥσπερ ὅμηρα δεδεγμένοι προΐενταί τι τῶν ἀπορρήτων αὐτοῖς, προέμενοι δὲ χρῶνται καὶ δεδίασιν ἐγκαταλιπεῖν τὴν πίστιν. ἐγὼ δʼ οἶδά τινα συνεκβαλόντα γαμετήν, ὡς ὁ φίλος ἀπεπέμψατο τὴν ἑαυτοῦ· κρύφα δὲ φοιτῶν πρὸς αὐτὴν καὶ διαπεμπόμενος ἐφωράθη; συναισθομένης τῆς τοῦ φίλου γυναικός. οὕτως ἄπειρος ἦν κόλακος ὁ νομίζων τὰ ἰαμβεῖα ταυτὶ· τῷ καρκίνῳ μᾶλλον ἢ τῷ κόλακι προσήκειν
γαστὴρ ὅλον τὸ σῶμα, πανταχῆ βλέπων
ὀφθαλμός, ἕρπον τοῖς ὀδοῦσι θηρίον
παρασίτου γὰρ ὁ τοιοῦτος εἰκονισμός ἐστι
τῶν περὶ τάγηνον καὶ μετʼ ἄριστον φίλων,
ὡς Εὔπολίς φησιν.

[¶9] 10. However, let us reserve this matter for its proper place in our discussion. But let us not omit to note this clever turn which the flatterer has in his imitations, that if he does imitate any of the good qualities of the person whom he flatters, he gives him always the upper hand. The reason is this: between true friends there is neither emulation nor envy, but whether their share of success is equal or less, they bear it with moderation and without vexation. But the flatterer, mindful always that he is to play the second part, abates from his equality in the imitation, admitting that he is beaten and distanced in everything save what is bad. In bad things, however, he does not relinquish the first place, but, if the other man is malcontent, he calls himself choleric; if the man is superstitious he says of himself that he is possessed; that the man is in love, but that he himself is mad with passion. “You laughed inopportunely,” he says, “but I nearly died of laughing.” But in good things it is just the reverse. The flatterer says that he himself is a good runner, but the other man simply flies; that he himself is a fairly good horseman, “but what is that compared with this Centaur?” “I am a natural born poet, and I write verse that is not at all bad, yet To Zeus belongs the thunder, not to me.” a Thus at the same time he thinks to show that the other’s tastes are excellent by imitating them, and that his prowess is unrivalled by letting himself be outdone. Thus, then, in the flatterer’s attempts to conform himself to another, differences like these are found which distinguish him from a friend.

> Greek: 10. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ ταῦτα μὲν εἰς τὸν οἰκεῖον ἀναθώμεθα τοῦ λόγου τόπον· ἐκεῖνο δὲ μὴ παρῶμεν ἐν ταῖς μιμήσεσι τὸ σόφισμα τοῦ κόλακος, ὅτι κἂν τῶν καλῶν τι μιμῆται τοῦ κολακευομένου, διαφυλάττει τὴν ὑπεροχὴν ἐκείνῳ. τοῖς μὲν γὰρ ἀληθῶς φίλοις οὔτε ζῆλος οὐδείς ἐστι πρὸς ἀλλήλους οὔτε φθόνος, ἀλλὰ κἂν ἴσον ἔχωσιν ἐν τῷ κατορθοῦν κἂν ἔλαττον, ἀνεπαχθῶς καὶ μετρίως φέρουσιν. ὁ δὲ κόλαξ ἀεὶ μνημονεύων τοῦ τὰ δεύτερα λέγειν ὑφίεται τῇ ὁμοιότητι τῆς ἰσότητος, ἡττᾶσθαι πανταχοῦ καὶ ἀπολείπεσθαι πλὴν τῶν φαύλων ὁμολογῶν. ἐν δὲ τοῖς φαύλοις οὐ παρίησι τὸ πρωτεῖον, ἀλλά φησιν, ἂν ἐκεῖνος δύσκολος, αὑτὸν εἶναι μελαγχολικὸν ἂν ἐκεῖνος δεισιδαίμων, αὑτὸν θεοφόρητον· ἐρᾶν ἐκεῖνον, μαίνεσθαι δʼ αὑτόν. ἀκαίρως φησὶν ἐγέλας, ἐγὼ δʼ ἐξέθνῃσκον ὑπὸ τοῦ γέλωτος. ἀλλʼ ἔν γε τοῖς χρηστοῖς τοὐναντίον. αὐτός φησι ταχέως τρέχειν, ἵπτασθαι δʼ ἐκεῖνον· αὐτὸς ἱππεύειν ἐπιεικῶς, ἀλλὰ τί πρὸς τὸν ἱπποκένταυρον τοῦτον; εὐφυής εἰμι ποιητὴς καὶ στίχον οὐ φαυλότατον γράφω,
βροντᾶν δʼ οὐκ ἐμὸν ἀλλὰ Διός.
ἅμα γὰρ αὐτοῦ δοκεῖ καὶ τὴν προαίρεσιν ἀποφαίνειν καλὴν μιμούμενος καὶ τὴν δύναμιν ἀνέφικτον ἡττώμενος. ἐν μὲν οὖν ταῖς ἐξομοιώσεσι τοιαῦταί τινὲς εἰσιν αἱ τοῦ κόλακος διαφοραὶ πρὸς τὸν φίλον.

[¶10] 11. Since, however, as has been said before, the element of pleasure is common to both (for the good man takes no less delight in his friends than the bad man in his flatterers), let us now, if you will, draw the distinction between them in this respect. The distinction lies in referring the pleasure to its end. Look at it in this way: There is a pleasant odour in a perfume, there is a pleasant odour in a medicine. But the difference is that the former has been created for pleasure and for nothing else, while in the latter the purgative, stimulative, or tissue-building principle that gives it value is only incidentally sweet-smelling. Then again, painters mix bright colours and pigments, and there are also some physicians’ drugs that are bright in appearance, and have a colour that is not repellent. What, then, is the difference? Is it not plain that we shall distinguish them by the end for which they are employed? So, in a similar way, the graciousness of friends, in addition to goodness and profit, possesses also the power of giving pleasure as a sort of efflorescence, and there are times when friends enjoy together jest and food and wine, and indeed even mirth and nonsense, as a sort of spice for noble and serious things. To this purport it has been said: “Joy they had in converse, speaking each to the other ” and “Else there were nothing Which could have parted us twain in the midst of our love and enjoyment.” But the whole work and final aim of the flatterer is always to be serving up some spicy and highlyseasoned jest or prank or story, incited by pleasure and to incite pleasure. To put it in few words, the flatterer thinks he ought to do anything to be agreeable, while the friend, by doing always what he ought to do, is oftentimes agreeable and oftentimes disagreeable, not from any desire to be disagreeable, and yet not attempting to avoid even this if it be better. For he is like a physician, who, if it be for the good of the patient, administers saffron or spikenard, and indeed oftentimes prescribes a grateful bath or generous diet, but there are cases where he lets all these go and drops in a dose of castor, or else of “Polium, pungent to smell, whose stench is surely most horrid,” or he compounds some hellebore and makes a man drink it down, setting neither in this case the disagreeable nor in the other the agreeable as his final aim, but endeavouring through either course to bring his patient to one state—that which is for his good. So it is with the friend; sometimes by constantly exalting and gladdening another with praise and graciousness he leads him on toward that which is honourable, as did he who said “Teucer, dear to my heart, son of Telamon, prince of the people. Aim your other shafts like this,” and “How then, I ask, could I ever forget Odysseus the godlike?” Or again, when there is need of reprehension, he assails with stinging words and all the frankness of a guardian: “Foolish you are, Menelaus, cherished by Zeus; nor is needed Any such folly as this.” There are times, too, when he combines deeds with words, as did Menedemus, who chastened the profligate and disorderly son of his friend Asclepiades by shutting the door upon him and not speaking to him; and Arcesilaus forbade Baton his lecture-room when the latter had composed a comic line on Cleanthes, and it was only when Baton had placated Cleanthes and was repentant that Arcesilaus became reconciled with him. For one ought to hurt a friend only to help him; and ought not by hurting him to kill friendship, but to use the stinging word as a medicine which restores and preserves health in that to which it is applied. Wherefore a friend, like a skilled musician, in effecting a transition to what is noble and beneficial, now relaxes and now tightens a string, and so is often pleasant and always profitable; but the flatterer, being accustomed to play his accompaniment of pleasantness and graciousness in one key only, knows nothing either of acts of resistance or of words that hurt, but is guided by the other’s wish only, and makes every note and utterance to accord with him. As Xenophon says of Agesilaus, that he was glad to be commended by those who were willing to blame him also, so we must regard that which gives delight and joy as true to friendship, if at times it is able also to hurt our feelings and to resist our desires; but we must be suspicious of an association that is confined to pleasures, one whose complaisance is unmixed and without a sting; and we ought in fact to keep in mind the saying of the Spartan, who, when Charillus the king was commended, said, “How can he be a good man, who is not harsh even with rascals?”

> Greek: 11. ἐπεὶ δʼ ὥσπερ εἴρηται καὶ τὸ τῆς ἡδονῆς κοινόν ἐστι (χαίρει γὰρ οὐχ ἧττον τοῖς φίλοις ὁ χρηστὸς ἢ τοῖς κόλαξιν ὁ φαῦλος) φέρε καὶ τοῦτο διορίσωμεν. ἔστι δὲ διορισμὸς ἡ πρὸς τὸ τέλος ἀναφορὰ τῆς ἡδονῆς. σκόπει δʼ οὕτως. ἔνεστι μέν που τῷ μύρῳ τὸ εὐῶδες, ἔνεστι δʼ ἐν ἀντιδότῳ. διαφέρει δʼ ὅτι τοῦτο μὲν πρὸς ἡδονὴν καὶ πρὸς οὐδὲν ἕτερον γέγονεν, ἐκεῖ δὲ τὸ καθαῖρον ἢ τὸ θερμαῖνον ἢ τὸ σαρκοῦν τῆς δυνάμεως ἄλλως εὐῶδές ἐστι. πάλιν οἱ γραφεῖς ἀνθηρὰ. χρώματα καὶ βάμματα μιγνύουσιν, ἔστι δὲ καὶ τῶν ἰατρικῶν φαρμάκων ἔνια τὴν ὄψιν ἀνθηρὰ καὶ τὴν χρόαν οὐκ ἀπάνθρωπον ἔχοντα. τί τοίνυν διαφέρει; ἦ δῆλον ὅτι τῷ τέλει τῆς χρείας διακρινοῦμεν. οὐκοῦν ὁμοίως αἱ μὲν τῶν φίλων χάριτες ἐπὶ καλῷ τινι καὶ ὠφελίμῳ τὸ εὐφραῖνον ὥσπερ ἐπανθοῦν ἔχουσιν, ἔστι δʼ ὅτε καὶ παιδιᾷ καὶ τραπέζῃ καὶ οἴνῳ καὶ νὴ Δία γέλωτι καὶ φλυάρῳ πρὸς ἀλλήλους οἷον ἡδύσμασιν ἐχρήσαντο τῶν καλῶν καὶ σπουδαίων. πρὸς ὃ δὴ καὶ λέλεκται τὸ
μύθοισιν τέρποντο πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἐνέποντες
καὶ τὸ οὐδέ κεν ἄλλο ἄμμε διέκρινεν φιλέοντέ τε τερπομένω τε τοῦ δὲ κόλακος τοῦτʼ ἔργον ἐστὶ καὶ τέλος, ἀεί τινα παιδιὰν ἢ πρᾶξιν ἢ λόγον ἐφʼ ἡδονῇ καὶ πρὸς ἡδονὴν ὀψοποιεῖν καὶ καρυκεύειν. συνελόντι δʼ εἰπεῖν ὁ μὲν ἵνʼ ἡδὺς πάντα δεῖν οἴεται ποιεῖν, ὁ δʼ ἀεὶ ποιῶν ἃ δεῖ πολλάκις μὲν ἡδὺς πολλάκις δʼ ἀηδής ἐστιν, οὐ τοῦτο βουλόμενος, εἰ δὲ βέλτιον εἴη, μηδὲ τοῦτο φεύγων. ὥσπερ γὰρ ἰατρός, ἂν συμφέρῃ, κρόκον ἢ νάρδον ἐπέβαλε καὶ νὴ Δία πολλάκις ἔλουσε προσηνῶς καὶ ἔθρεψε φιλανθρώπως, ἔστι δʼ ὅπου ταῦτʼ ἐάσας καστόριον ἐνέσεισεν
ἢ πόλιον βαρύοσμον ὃ δὴ ῥίγιστον ὄδωδεν
ἤ τινα ἐλλέβορον ἐκπιεῖν τρίψας ἠνάγκασεν, οὔτʼ ἐνταῦθα τὸ ἀηδὲς οὔτʼ ἐκεῖ τὸ ἡδὺ ποιούμενος τέλος ἀλλʼ ἐφʼ ἓν διʼ ἀμφοτέρων ἐπὶ τὸ συμφέρον ἄγων τὸν θεραπευόμενον, οὕτως ὁ φίλος ἔστι μὲν ὅτε σὺν ἐπαίνῳ καὶ χάριτι μεγαλύνων καὶ εὐφραίνων ἄγει πρὸς τὸ καλόν, ὥσπερ οὗτος Τεῦκρε, φίλη κεφαλή, Τελαμώνιε, κοίρανε λαῶν, βάλλʼ οὕτωʼ
πῶς ἂν ἔπειτʼ Ὀδυσῆος ἐγὼ θείοιο λαθοίμην;
ὅπου δʼ αὖ πάλιν ἐπιστροφῆς δεῖται, λόγῳ δήκτῃ καὶ παρρησίᾳ κηδεμονικῇ καθαπτόμενος
ἀφραίνεις, Μενέλαε διοτρεφές, οὐδὲ τί σε χρὴ
ταύτης ἀφροσύνης
ἔστι δʼ ὅπου καὶ τὸ ἔργον ἅμα τῷ λόγῳ συνῆψεν, ὡς Μενέδημος Ἀσκληπιάδου τοῦ φίλου τὸν υἱὸν ἄσωτον ὄντα καὶ ἄτακτον ἀποκλείων καὶ μὴ προσαγορεύων ἐσωφρόνισε, καὶ Βάτωνι τὴν σχολὴν ἀπεῖπεν Ἀρκεσίλαος, ὅτε πρὸς Κλεάνθην στίχον ἐποίησεν ἐν κωμῳδίᾳ, πείσαντος δὲ τὸν Κλεάνθην καὶ μεταμελομένου διηλλάγη. δεῖ γὰρ ὠφελοῦντα λυπεῖν τὸν φίλον, οὐ δεῖ δὲ λυποῦντα τὴν φιλίαν ἀναιρεῖν, ἀλλʼ ὡς φαρμάκῳ τῷ δάκνοντι χρῆσθαι, σῴζοντι καὶ φυλάττοντι τὸ θεραπευόμενον. ὅθεν ὥσπερ ἁρμονικὸς ὁ φίλος τῇ πρὸς τὸ καλὸν καὶ συμφέρον μεταβολῇ τὰ μὲν ἐνδιδοὺς ἃ δʼ ἐπιτείνων πολλάκις μὲν ἡδὺς ἀεὶ δʼ ὠφέλιμός ἐστι. ὁ δὲ κόλαξ ἀφʼ ἑνὸς διαγράμματος ἀεὶ τὸ ἡδὺ καὶ τὸ πρὸς χάριν εἰωθὼς ὑποκρέκειν οὔτʼ ἔργον οἶδεν ἀντιτεῖνον οὔτε ῥῆμα λυποῦν, ἀλλὰ μόνῳ παρέπεται τῷ βουλομένῳ, συνᾴδων ἀεὶ καὶ συμφθεγγόμενος ὥσπερ οὖν τὸν Ἀγησίλαον ὁ Ξενοφῶν ἡδέως ἐπαινεῖσθαί φησιν ὑπὸ τῶν καὶ ψέγειν ἐθελόντων, οὕτω δεῖ τὸ εὐφραῖνον καὶ χαριζόμενον ἡγεῖσθαι φιλικόν, ἂν καὶ λυπεῖν ποτε δύνηται καὶ ἀντιτείνειν, τὴν δὲ συνεχῆ ταῖς ἡδοναῖς καὶ τὸ πρὸς χάριν ἔχουσαν ἄκρατον ἀεὶ καὶ ἄδηκτον ὁμιλίαν ὑπονοεῖν, καὶ νὴ Δία τὸ τοῦ Λάκωνος ἔχειν πρόχειρον, ὃς ἐπαινουμένου Χαρίλλου τοῦ βασιλέως πῶς οὗτος ἔφη χρηστός, ὃς οὐδὲ τοῖς πονηροῖς πικρός ἐστι;

## 2. Sections 12–20

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/2/#p-N

[¶0] 12. They say that the gad-fly finds lodgement with cattle close by the ear, as does the tick with dogs; so also the flatterer takes hold of ambitious men’s ears with his words of praise, and once settled there, he is hard to dislodge. Wherefore in this matter especially it is necessary to keep the judgement awake and on the alert, to see whether the praise is for the action or for the man. It is for the action if they praise us in absence rather than in our presence; also if they, too, cherish the same desires and aspirations themselves and praise not us alone but all persons for like conduct; also if they are not found doing and saying now this and now the opposite; but, chief of all, if we ourselves know that we feel no regret for those actions for which we are praised, no feeling of shame and no wish that we had said or done the opposite. For if our own conscience protests and refuses to accept the praise, then it is not affected or touched, and is proof against assault by the flatterer. Yet, in some way that passes my knowledge, most people have no patience with efforts to console them in their misfortunes, but are more influenced by those who commiserate and condole with them; and whenever these same people are guilty of mistakes and blunders, the man who by chiding and blaming implants the sting of repentance is taken to be an enemy and an accuser, whereas they welcome the man who praises and extols what they have done, and regard him as kindly and friendly. Now those who unthinkingly praise and join in applauding an act or a saying, or anything offered by another, whether he be in earnest or in jest, are harmful only for the moment and for the matter at hand; but those who with their praises pierce to the man’s character, and indeed even touch his habit of mind with their flattery, are doing the very thing that servants do who steal not from the heap but from the seed-corn. For, since the disposition and character are the seed from which actions spring, such persons are thus perverting the very first principle and fountain-head of living, inasmuch as they are investing vice with the names that belong to virtue. Amid factions and wars, Thucydides says, “they changed the commonly accepted meaning of words when applied to deeds as they thought proper. Reckless daring came to be regarded as devoted courage, watchful waiting as specious cowardice, moderation as a craven’s pretext, a keen understanding for everything as want of energy to undertake anything.” And so in attempts at flattery we should be observant and on our guard against prodigality being called “liberality,” cowardice “self-preservation,” impulsiveness “quickness,” stinginess “frugality,” the amorous man “companionable and amiable,” the irascible and overbearing “spirited,” the insignificant and meek “kindly.” So Plato somewhere says that the lover, being a flatterer of his beloved, calls one with a snub nose “fetching,” one with a hooked nose “kingly,” dark persons “manly,” and fair persons “children of the gods”; while “honey-hued” is purely the creation of a lover who calls sallowness by this endearing term, and cheerfully puts up with it. And yet an ugly man who is made to believe that he is handsome, or a short man that he is tall, is not for long a party to the deception, and the injury that he suffers is slight and not irremediable. But as for the praise which accustoms a man to treat vices as virtues, so that he feels not disgusted with them but delighted, which also takes away all shame for his errors—this is the sort that brought afflictions upon the people of Sicily, by calling the savage cruelty of Dionysius and of Phalaris “hatred of wickedness”; this it is that ruined Egypt, by giving to Ptolemy’s effeminacy, his religious mania, his hallelujahs, his clashing of cymbals, the name of “piety” and “devotion to the gods”; this it is that all but subverted and destroyed the character of the Romans in those days, by trying to extenuate Antony’s luxuriousness, his excesses and ostentatious displays, as “blithe and kind-hearted actions due to his generous treatment at the hands of Power and Fortune.” What else was it that fastened the mouthpiece and flute upon Ptolemy? What else set a tragic stage for Nero, and invested him with mask and buskins? Was it not the praise of his flatterers? And is not almost any king called an Apollo if he can hum a tune, and a Dionysus if he gets drunk, and a Heracles if he can wrestle? And is he not delighted, and thus led on into all kinds of disgrace by the flattery?

> Greek: 12. τοῖς μὲν οὖν ταύροις τὸν οἶστρον ἐνδύεσθαι παρὰ τὸ οὖς λέγουσι, καὶ τοῖς κυσὶ τὸν κρότωνα· τῶν δὲ φιλοτίμων ὁ κόλαξ τὰ ὦτα κατέχων τοῖς ἐπαίνοις καὶ προσπεφυκὼς δυσαπότριπτός ἐστιν. ὅθεν ἐνταῦθα δεῖ μάλιστα τὴν κρίσιν ἔχειν ἐγρηγορυῖαν καὶ παραφυλάττουσαν πότερον τοῦ πράγματος ἢ τοῦ ἀνδρὸς 5 ἔπαινός ἐστιν. ἔστι δὲ τοῦ πράγματος, ἂν ἀπόντας μᾶλλον ἢ παρόντας ἐπαινῶσιν, ἂν καὶ αὐτοὶ ταὐτὰ βουλόμενοι καὶ ζηλοῦντες μὴ μόνους ἡμᾶς ἀλλὰ πάντας ἐπὶ τοῖς ὁμοίοις ἐπαινῶσιν, ἂν μὴ νῦν μὲν ταῦτα νῦν δὲ τἀναντία πράττοντες καὶ λέγοντες φαίνωνται· τὸ δὲ μέγιστον, ἂν αὐτοὶ γιγνώσκωμεν ἑαυτοὺς μὴ μεταμελομένους ἐφʼ οἷς ἐπαινούμεθα μηδʼ αἰσχυνομένους μηδὲ μᾶλλον ἡμῖν τἀναντία τούτων πεπρᾶχθαι καὶ λελέχθαι βουλομένους. ἡ γὰρ οἴκοθεν κρίσις ἀντιμαρτυροῦσα καὶ μὴ προσδεχομένη τὸν ἔπαινον ἀπαθής ἐστι καὶ ἄθικτος καὶ ὑπὸ τοῦ κολακεύοντος ἀνάλωτος. ἀλλʼ οὐκ οἶδʼ ὅπως οἱ πολλοὶ τὰς μὲν ἐπὶ τοῖς ἀτυχήμασι παρηγορίας οὐχ ὑπομένουσιν, ἀλλὰ μᾶλλον ὑπὸ τῶν συνεπιθρηνούντων ἄγονται καὶ συνοδυρομένων ὅταν δʼ ἁμαρτάνωσι καὶ πλημμελῶσιν, ὁ μὲν ἐλέγχῳ καὶ ψόγῳ δηγμὸν ἐμποιῶν καὶ μετάνοιαν ἐχθρὸς δοκεῖ καὶ κατήγορος, τὸν δʼ ἐπαινοῦντα καὶ κατευλογοῦντα τὰ πεπραγμένα ἀσπάζονται καὶ νομίζουσιν εὔνουν καὶ φίλον. ὅσοι μὲν οὖν ἢ πρᾶξιν ἢ λόγον ἢ σπουδάσαντος ὁτιοῦν ἢ σκώψαντος εὐχερῶς ἐπαινοῦσι καὶ συνεπικροτοῦσιν, εἰς τὸ παρὸν εἰσιν οὗτοι καὶ τὰ ὑπὸ χεῖρα βλαβεροὶ μόνον· ὅσοι δὲ πρὸς τὸ ἦθος ἐξικνοῦνται τοῖς ἐπαίνοις καὶ νὴ Δία τοῦ τρόπου τῇ κολακείᾳ θιγγάνουσι, ταὐτὸ ποιοῦσι τῶν οἰκετῶν τοῖς μὴ ἀπὸ τοῦ σωροῦ κλέπτουσιν ἀλλʼ ἀπὸ τοῦ σπέρματος σπέρμα γὰρ τῶν πράξεων οὖσαν τὴν διάθεσιν καὶ τὸ ἦθος ἀρχὴν καὶ πηγὴν τοῦ βίου διαστρέφουσι, τὰ τῆς ἀρετῆς ὀνόματα τῇ κακίᾳ περιτιθέντες. ἐν μὲν γὰρ ταῖς στάσεσι καὶ τοῖς πολέμοις ὁ Θουκυδίδης φησὶν ὅτι τὴν εἰωθυῖαν ἀξίωσιν τῶν ὀνομάτων ἐς τὰ ἔργα ἀντήλλαξαν τῇ δικαιώσει. τόλμα μὲν γὰρ ἀλόγιστος ἀνδρεία φιλέταιρος ἐνομίσθη, μέλλησις δὲ προμηθὴς δειλία εὐπρεπής, τὸ δὲ σῶφρον τοῦ ἀνάνδρου πρόσχημα, καὶ τὸ πρὸς ἅπαν συνετὸν ἐπὶ πᾶν ἀργόν ἐν δὲ ταῖς κολακείαις ὁρᾶν χρὴ καὶ παραφυλάττειν ἀσωτίαν μὲν ἐλευθεριότητα καλουμένην καὶ δειλίαν ἀσφάλειαν, ἐμπληξίαν δʼ ὀξύτητα, μικρολογίαν δὲ σωφροσύνην, τὸν δʼ ἐρωτικὸν φιλοσυνήθη καὶ φιλόστοργον, ἀνδρεῖον δὲ τὸν ὀργίλον καὶ ὑπερήφανον, φιλάνθρωπον δὲ τὸν εὐτελῆ καὶ ταπεινόν. ὥς που καὶ Πλάτων φησὶ τὸν ἐραστὴν κόλακα τῶν ἐρωμένων ὄντα τὸν μὲν σιμὸν καλεῖν ἐπίχαριν, τὸν δὲ γρυπὸν βασιλικόν, μέλανας δʼ ἀνδρικούς, λευκοὺς δὲ θεῶν παῖδας· τὸ δὲ μελίχρουν ὅλως ἐραστοῦ ποίημα εἶναι ὑποκοριζομένου καὶ εὐκόλως φέροντος τὴν ὠχρότητα. καίτοι καλὸς μὲν εἶναι πεισθεὶς ὁ αἰσχρὸς ἢ μέγας ὁ μικρὸς οὔτε χρόνον πολὺν τῇ ἀπάτῃ σύνεστι καὶ βλάπτεται βλάβην ἐλαφρὰν καὶ οὐκ ἀνήκεστον. ὁ δὲ ταῖς κακίαις ἐθίζων ἔπαινος ὡς ἀρεταῖς μὴ ἀχθόμενον ἀλλὰ χαίροντα χρῆσθαι, καὶ τὸ αἰδεῖσθαι τῶν ἁμαρτανομένων ἀφαιρῶν, οὗτος ἐπέτριψε Σικελιώτας, τὴν Διονυσίου καὶ Φαλάριδος ὠμότητα μισοπονηρίαν προσαγορεύων, οὗτος Αἴγυπτον ἀπώλεσε, τὴν Πτολεμαίου θηλύτητα καὶ θεοληψίαν καὶ ὀλολυγμοὺς καὶ τυμπάνων ἐγχαράξεις εὐσέβειαν ὀνομάζων καὶ θεῶν λατρείαν, οὗτος τὰ Ῥωμαίων ἤθη τηνικαῦτα παρʼ οὐδὲν ἦλθεν ἀνατρέψαι καὶ ἀνελεῖν, τὰς Ἀντωνίου τρυφὰς καὶ ἀκολασίας καὶ πανηγυρισμοὺς ἱλαρὰ πράγματα καὶ φιλάνθρωπα χρωμένης ἀφθόνως αὐτῷ δυνάμεως καὶ τύχης ὑποκοριζόμενος Πτολεμαίῳ δὲ τί περιῆψεν ἄλλο φορβειὰν καὶ αὐλούς, τί δὲ Νέρωνι τραγικὴν ἐπήξατο σκηνὴν καὶ προσωπεῖα· καὶ κοθόρνους περιέθηκεν; οὐχ ὁ τῶν κολακευόντων ἔπαινος; οἱ δὲ πολλοὶ τῶν βασιλέων οὐκ Ἀπόλλωνες μὲν ἂν μινυρίσωσι, Διόνυσοι δʼ ἂν μεθυσθῶσιν, Ἡρακλεῖς δʼ ἂν παλαίσωσι προσαγορευόμενοι καὶ χαίροντες εἰς ἅπασαν αἰσχύνην ὑπὸ τῆς κολακείας ἐξάγονται;

[¶1] 13. For this reason we must be especially on our guard against the flatterer in the matter of his praises. But of this he is not unconscious himself, and he is adroit at guarding against the breath of suspicion. If, for example, he gets hold of some coxcomb, or a rustic wearing a thick coat of skin, he indulges his raillery without limit, just as Strouthias, in the play, walks all over Bias, and takes a fling at his stupidity by such praise as this: “More you have drunk Than royal Alexander,” and “Ha! ha! A good one on the Cyprian,” But as for the more clever people, he observes that they are particularly on the look-out for him in this quarter, that they stand well upon their guard in this place and region; so he does not deploy his praise in a frontal attack, but fetches a wide circuit, and “Approaches noiseless as to catch a beast,” touching and handling him. Now he will report other people’s praise of him, quoting another’s words as public speakers do, how he had the pleasure of meeting in the market-place with some strangers or elderly men, who recounted many handsome things of him and expressed their admiration; then again, he will fabricate and concoct some trivial and false accusation against him, which he feigns to have heard from others, and comes up in hot haste to inquire when it was he said this or when it was he did that. And if the man denies the thing, as he naturally will, then on the instant the flatterer seizes him and launches him into a flood of praise: “I wondered if you did speak ill of any of your good friends, since it is not your nature to speak ill even of your enemies, or if you did make any attempt on other’s property when you give away so much of your own.”

> Greek: 13. διὸ φυλακτέον ἐστὶ μάλιστα τὸν κόλακα περὶ τοὺς ἐπαίνους. ὅπερ οὐδʼ αὐτὸν ἐκεῖνον λέληθεν, ἀλλὰ δεινὸς ὢν φυλάττεσθαι τὸ ὕποπτον, ἂν μὲν εὐπαρύφου τινὸς ἢ ἀγροίκου λάβηται φορίνην παχεῖαν φέροντος, ὅλῳ τῷ μυκτῆρι χρῆται, καθάπερ ὁ Στρουθίας ἐμπεριπατῶν τῷ Βίαντι καὶ κατορχούμενος τῆς ἀναισθησίας αὐτοῦ τοῖς ἐπαίνοις
Ἀλεξάνδρου πλέον
τοῦ βασιλέως πέπωκας
καὶ
γελῶ τὸ πρὸς τὸν Κύπριον ἐννοούμενος
τοὺς δὲ κομψοτέρους ὁρῶν ἐνταῦθα μάλιστα προσέχοντας αὐτῷ καὶ φυλαττομένους τὸ χωρίον τοῦτο καὶ τὸν τόπον οὐκ ἀπʼ εὐθείας ἐπάγει τὸν ἔπαινον, ἀλλʼ ἀπαγαγὼν πόρρω κυκλοῦται καὶ
πρόσεισιν, οἷον ἀψοφητὶ θρέμματος
ἐπιψαύων καὶ ἀποπειρώμενος. νῦν μὲν γὰρ ἑτέρων περὶ αὐτοῦ τινων ἐπαίνους ἀπαγγέλλει, καθάπερ οἱ ῥήτορες, ἀλλοτρίῳ προσχρώμενος προσώπῳ, ξένοις λέγων ἢ πρεσβυτέροις ἐν ἀγορᾷ μάλʼ ἡδέως παραγενέσθαι πολλὰ κἀγαθὰ μεμνημένοις αὐτοῦ καὶ θαυμάζουσι· νῦν δʼ αὖ πάλιν αἰτίας ἐλαφρὰς καὶ ψευδεῖς πλασάμενος καὶ συνθεὶς ἐπʼ αὐτόν, ὡς ἀκηκοὼς ἑτέρων ἀφῖκται μετὰ σπουδῆς, πυνθανόμενος ποῦ τοῦτʼ εἶπεν ἢ ποῦ τοῦτʼ ἔπραξεν. ἀρνουμένου δʼ, ὡς εἰκός, αὐτόθεν ἑλὼν ἐμβέβληκεν εἰς τοὺς ἐπαίνους τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἐγὼ δʼ ἐθαύμαζον εἰ σὺ κακῶς τινα τῶν συνήθων εἶπας ὁ μηδὲ τοὺς ἐχθροὺς πεφυκώς, εἰ σὺ τοῖς ἀλλοτρίοις ἐπεχείρησας ὁ τοσαῦτα τῶν ἰδίων δωρούμενος ἕτεροι τοίνυν, ὥσπερ οἱ ζωγράφοι τὰ φωτεινὰ καὶ λαμπρὰ τοῖς σκιεροῖς καὶ σκοτεινοῖς ἐπιτείνουσιν ἐγγὺς παρατιθεμένοις, οὕτω τῷ ψέγειν τἀναντία καὶ λοιδορεῖν ἢ διασύρειν καὶ καταγελᾶν λανθάνουσι τὰ προσόντα κακὰ τοῖς κολακευομένοις ἐπαινοῦντες καὶ τρέφοντες.

[¶2] 14. Others, like painters who set off bright and brilliant colours by laying- on dark and sombre tints close beside them, covertly praise and foster the vices to which their victims are addicted by condemning and abusing, or disparaging and ridiculing, the opposite qualities. Among the profligate they condemn frugality as “rusticity”; and among avaricious evil-doers, whose wealth is gained from shameful and unscrupulous deeds, they condemn contented independence and honesty as “the want of courage and vigour for active life”; but when they associate with the easy-going and quiet people who avoid the crowded centres of the cities, they are not ashamed to call public life “a troublesome meddling with others’ affairs,” and ambition “unprofitable vainglory.” Often enough a way to flatter a public speaker is to disparage a philosopher, and with lascivious women great repute is gained by those who brand faithful and loving wives as “cold” and “countrified.” But here is the height of depravity, in that the flatterers do not spare their own selves. For as wrestlers put their own bodies into a lowly posture in order to throw their opponents, so flatterers, by blaming themselves, pass surreptitiously into admiration for their neighbours: “I am a miserable coward on the water, I have no stomach for hardships, I go mad with anger when anyone speaks ill of me; but for this man here,” he says, “nothing has any terrors, nothing any hardship, but he is a singular person; he bears everything with good humour, everything without distress.” But if there be somebody who imagines himself possessed of great sense, and desires to be downright and uncompromising, who because he poses as an upright man, forsooth, always uses as a defence and shield this line: “Son of Tydeus, praise me not too much, nor chide me,” the accomplished flatterer does not approach him by this road, but there is another device to apply to a man of this sort. Accordingly the flatterer comes to consult with him about his own affairs, as with one obviously his superior in wisdom, and says that while he has other friends more intimate yet he finds it necessary to trouble him. “For where can we resort who are in need of counsel, and whom can we trust?” Then having heard whatever the other may say, he asserts that he has received, not counsel, but the word of authority; and with that he takes his departure. And if he observes that the man lays some claim to skill in letters, he gives him some of his own writings, and asks him to read and correct them. Mithridates, the king, posed as an amateur physician, and some of his companions offered themselves to be operated upon and cauterized by him, thus flattering by deeds and not by words; for he felt that their confidence in him was a testimony to his skill. “In many a guise do the gods appear,” and this class of dissimulated praise, which calls for a more cunning sort of precaution, is to be brought to light by deliberately formulating absurd advice and suggestions, and by making senseless corrections. For if he fails to contradict anything, if he assents to everything and accepts it, and at each suggestion exclaims “good ” and “excellent,” he makes it perfectly plain that he “The password asks, to gain some other end,” his real desire being to praise his victim and to puff him up all the more.

> Greek: 14. σωφροσύνην τε γὰρ ὡς ἀγροικίαν ψέγουσιν ἐν ἀσώτοις, κἀν πλεονέκταις καὶ κακούργοις καὶ πλουτοῦσιν ἀπὸ πραγμάτων αἰσχρῶν καὶ πονηρῶν αὐτάρκειάν τε καὶ δικαιοσύνην ὡς ἀτολμίαν καὶ ἀρρωστίαν πρὸς τὸ πράττειν· ὅταν δὲ ῥᾳθύμοις σχολασταῖς καὶ τὰ μέσα φεύγουσι τῶν πόλεων ὁμιλῶσιν, οὐκ αἰσχύνονται πολιτείαν μὲν ἀλλοτριοπραγίαν ἐπίπονον, φιλοτιμίαν δὲ κενοδοξίαν ἄκαρπον ὀνομάζοντες. ἤδη δὲ καὶ ῥήτορος ἔστιν ὅτε κολακεία διασύρει φιλόσοφον, καὶ παρὰ γυναιξὶν ἀκολάστοις εὐδοκιμοῦσιν οἱ τὰς μονολεχεῖς καὶ φιλάνδρους ἀναφροδίτους καὶ ἀγροίκους ἀποκαλοῦντες. ὑπερβάλλει δὲ μοχθηρίᾳ τὸ μηδʼ ἑαυτῶν ἀπέχεσθαι τοὺς κόλακας. ὡς γὰρ οἱ παλαισταὶ τὸ σῶμα ποιοῦσι ταπεινόν, ὅπως ἑτέρους καταβάλωσιν, οὕτω τῷ ψέγειν ἑαυτοὺς εἰς τὸ θαυμάζειν τοὺς πλησίον ὑπορρέουσιν. ἀνδράποδόν εἰμι δειλὸν ἐν θαλάσσῃ, πρὸς τοὺς πόνους ἀπαγορεύω, μαίνομαι κακῶς ἀκούσας ὑπʼ ὀργῆς ἀλλὰ τούτῳ φησὶν οὐδέν ἐστι δεινόν, οὐδὲν πονηρόν, ἀλλʼ ἴδιος ἄνθρωπος, πάντα πράως φέρει, πάντʼ ἀλύπως. ἂν δʼ ᾖ τις οἰόμενος πολὺν ἔχειν νοῦν καὶ βουλόμενος αὐστηρὸς εἶναι καὶ αὐθέκαστος ὑπὸ δή τινος ὀρθότητος ἀεὶ προβάλληται τὸ
Τυδείδη, μήτʼ ἄρ με μάλʼ αἴνεε μήτε τι νείκει,
οὐ ταύτῃ πρόσεισιν ὁ τεχνίτης κόλαξ, ἀλλʼ ἔστι τις ἑτέρα μηχανὴ πρὸς τὸν τοιοῦτον. ἥκει γὰρ αὐτῷ περὶ πραγμάτων ἰδίων ὡς δὴ φρονήσει περισσοτέρῳ συμβουλευσόμενος, καί φησι μᾶλλον μὲν ἑτέρους ἔχειν συνήθεις, ἐνοχλεῖν δʼ ἀναγκαίως ἐκείνῳ· ποῖ γὰρ καταφύγωμεν οἱ γνώμης δεόμενοι, τίνι δὲ πιστεύσωμεν; εἶτʼ ἀκούσας ὅ τι ἂν εἴπῃ, χρησμὸν εἰληφέναι φήσας οὐ γνώμην ἄπεισιν. ἂν δὲ καὶ λόγων τινὸς ἐμπειρίας ὁρᾷ μεταποιούμενον, ἔδωκέ τι τῶν αὑτῷ γεγραμμένων, ἀναγνῶναι καὶ διορθῶσαι κελεύσας. Μιθριδάτῃ δὲ τῷ βασιλεῖ φιλιατροῦντι καὶ τεμεῖν ἔνιοι καὶ καῦσαι παρέσχον αὑτοὺς τῶν ἑταίρων, ἔργῳ κολακεύοντες οὐ λόγῳ· μαρτυρεῖσθαι γὰρ ἐμπειρίαν ἐδόκει πιστευόμενος ὑπʼ αὐτῶν.
πολλαὶ μορφαὶ τῶν δαιμονίων,
τὸ δὲ γένος τοῦτο τῶν ἀρνουμένων ἐπαίνων πανουργοτέρας δεόμενον εὐλαβείας ἐλεγκτέον ἐπίτηδες ἀτόπους ἐκτάττοντα συμβουλίας καὶ ὑποθήκας, καὶ διορθώσεις ποιούμενον ἀλόγους. πρὸς μηδὲν γὰρ ἀντιλέγων, ἀλλὰ πᾶσι συνεπινεύων καὶ δεχόμενος πάντα καὶ βοῶν παρʼ ἕκαστον ὡς εὖ καὶ καλῶς, γίγνεται καταφανὴς
σύνθημʼ ἐρωτῶν, ἄλλο μαστεύων χρέος,
ἐπαινέσαι καὶ συνεπιτυφῶσαι βουλόμενος ἔτι τοίνυν ὥσπερ ἔνιοι τὴν ζωγραφίαν σιωπῶσαν ἀπεφήναντο ποιητικήν, οὕτως ἔστι τις κολακείας σιωπώσης ἔπαινος.

[¶3] 15. Moreover, just as some have defined painting as silent poetry, so there is a kind of praise that is silent flattery. For just as men engaged in hunting are less noticed by their quarry if they pretend not to be so engaged, but to be going along the road or tending flocks or tilling the soil, so flatterers gain the best hold with their praise when they pretend not to be praising, but to be doing something else. Take, for example, a man who yields his seat or his place at table to a new-comer, or if he is engaged in speaking to the popular assembly or the senate and discovers that someone of the wealthy wants to speak, suddenly lapses into silence in the midst of his argument, and surrenders the platform with his right to speak; such a man by his silence, far more than one who indulges in loud acclaim, makes it plain that he regards the rich person as his better and his superior in intelligence. This is the reason why such persons are to be seen taking possession of the front seats at entertainments and theatres, not because they think they have any right to them, but so that they may flatter the rich by giving up their seats. So, too, in an assemblage or a formal meeting they may be observed to begin a subject of discussion, and later to give ground as though before their betters, and to shift over with the utmost readiness to the other side, if the man opposing them be a person of power or wealth or repute. Herein lies the supreme test by which we must detect such cases of cringing submission and giving way, in that deference is paid, not to experience or virtue or age, but to wealth and repute. Apelles, the painter, as Megabyzus took a seat by his side, eager to discuss line and chiaroscuro, said, “Do you see these boys here who are grinding the body for my colours? They were all attention while you kept silent, and admired your purple robe and golden ornaments, but now they are laughing at you because you have undertaken to speak of matters which you have never learned.” And Solon, when Croesus inquired about happiness, declared that Tellus, one of the inconspicuous men at Athens, and Cleobis and Biton, were more blest by fate than he. But flatterers proclaim that kings and wealthy persons and rulers are not only prosperous and blessed, but that they also rank first in understanding, technical skill, and every form of virtue.

> Greek: 15. ὥσπερ γὰρ οἱ θηρεύοντες ἂν μὴ τοῦτο ποιεῖν ἀλλʼ ὁδοιπορεῖν ἢ νέμειν ἢ γεωργεῖν δοκῶσι, μᾶλλον τὰ θηρευόμενα λανθάνουσιν, οὕτως οἱ κόλακες ἅπτονται μάλιστα τοῖς ἐπαίνοις, ὅταν ἐπαινεῖν μὴ δοκῶσιν ἀλλʼ ἕτερόν τι πράττειν. ὁ γὰρ ἕδρας εἴκων καὶ κλισίας ἐπιόντι καὶ λέγων πρὸς δῆμον ἢ βουλὴν ἂν αἴσθηταί τινα τῶν πλουσίων βουλόμενον εἰπεῖν, ἀποσιωπῶν μεταξὺ καὶ παραδιδοὺς τὸ βῆμα καὶ τὸν λόγον ἐνδείκνυται σιωπῶν μᾶλλον τοῦ βοῶντος ὅτι κρείττονα νομίζει καὶ διαφέροντα τῷ φρονεῖν ἐκεῖνον. ὅθεν ὁρᾶν ἔστιν αὐτοὺς ἕδρας τε τὰς πρώτας ἐν ἀκροάσεσι καὶ θεάτροις καταλαμβάνοντας, οὐχ ὅτι τούτων ἀξιοῦσιν αὑτούς, ἀλλʼ ὅπως ὑπεξιστάμενοι τοῖς πλουσίοις κολακεύωσι· καὶ λόγου κατάρχοντας ἐν συνόδοις καὶ συνεδρίοις, εἶτα παραχωροῦντας ὡς κρείττοσι καὶ μετατιθεμένους ῥᾷστα πρὸς τοὐναντίον, ἄνπερ ᾖ δυνατὸς ἢ πλούσιος ἢ ἔνδοξος ὁ ἀντιλέγων. ᾧ καὶ μάλιστα δεῖ τὰς τοιαύτας ὑποκατακλίσεις καὶ ἀναχωρήσεις ἐξελέγχειν, οὐκ ἐμπειρίαις οὐδʼ ἀρεταῖς οὐδʼ ἡλικίαις ὑφιεμένων ἀλλὰ πλούτοις καὶ δόξαις. Ἀπελλῆς μὲν γὰρ ὁ ζωγράφος, Μεγαβύζου παρακαθίσαντος αὐτῷ καὶ περὶ γραμμῆς τι καὶ σκιᾶς βουλομένου λαλεῖν, ὁρᾷς ἔφη τὰ παιδάρια ταυτὶ τὰ τὴν μηλίδα τρίβοντα; πάνυ σοι προσεῖχε τὸν νοῦν σιωπῶντι, καὶ τὴν πορφύραν ἐθαύμαζε καὶ τὰ χρυσία· νῦν δέ σου καταγελᾷ περὶ ὧν οὐ μεμάθηκας ἀρξαμένου λαλεῖν καὶ Σόλων, Κροίσου περὶ εὐδαιμονίας πυνθανομένου, Τέλλον τινὰ τῶν οὐκ ἐπιφανῶν Ἀθήνησι καὶ Κλέοβιν καὶ Βίτωνα ἀπέφηνεν εὐποτμοτέρους. οἱ δὲ κόλακες τοὺς βασιλεῖς καὶ πλουσίους καὶ ἄρχοντας οὐκ ὀλβίους μόνον καὶ μακαρίους ἀλλὰ καὶ φρονήσει καὶ τέχνῃ καὶ ἀρετῇ πάσῃ πρωτεύοντας ἀναγορεύουσιν.

[¶4] 16. Again, some people will not even listen to the Stoics, when they call the wise man at the same time rich, handsome, well-born, and a king; but flatterers declare of the rich man that he is at the same time an orator and a poet, and, if he will, a painter and a musician, and swift of foot and strong of body; and they allow themselves to be thrown in wrestling and outdistanced in running, as Crison of Himera was outdistanced in a foot-race with Alexander, but Alexander saw through the deception and was indignant. Carneades used to say that the sons of the wealthy and sons of kings do learn to ride on horseback, but that they learn nothing else well and properly; for in their studies their teacher flatters them with praise, and their opponent in wrestling does the same by submitting to be thrown, whereas the horse, having no knowledge or concern even as to who is private citizen or ruler, or rich or poor, throws headlong those who cannot ride him. It was therefore silly and foolish of Bion to say that “if he were sure to make his field productive and fruitful by lauding it, should he not then seem to be in error if he did not do this rather than give himself the trouble to dig it over? And so, too, a man would not be an improper subject for praise, if by virtue of praise alone he becomes profitable and abundantly productive of good.” But the truth is that a field is not made any the worse by being praised, whereas a man is puffed up and ruined by those who praise him falsely and beyond his deserts.

> Greek: 16. εἶτα τῶν μὲν Στωϊκῶν οὐδʼ ἀκούειν ἔνιοι ὑπομένουσι τὸν σοφὸν ὁμοῦ πλούσιον καλὸν εὐγενῆ βασιλέα προσαγορευόντων, οἱ δὲ κόλακες τὸν πλούσιον ὁμοῦ καὶ ῥήτορα καὶ ποιητήν, ἂν δὲ βούληται, καὶ ζῳγράφον καὶ αὐλητὴν ἀποφαίνουσι καὶ ποδώκη καὶ ῥωμαλέον, ὑποπίπτοντες ἐν τῷ παλαίειν καὶ ἀπολειπόμενοι θεόντων, ὥσπερ Κρίσων ὁ Ἱμεραῖος ἀπελείφθη διαθέων πρὸς Ἀλέξανδρον, ὁ δʼ αἰσθόμενος ἠγανάκτησε. Καρνεάδης δʼ ἔλεγε ὅτι πλουσίων καὶ βασιλέων παῖδες ἱππεύειν μόνον, ἄλλο δʼ οὐδὲν εὖ καὶ καλῶς μανθάνουσι; κολακεύει γὰρ αὐτοὺς ἐν ταῖς διατριβαῖς ὁ διδάσκαλος ἐπαινῶν καὶ ὁ προσπαλαίων ὑποκατακλινόμενος, ὁ δʼ ἵππος, οὐκ εἰδὼς οὐδὲ φροντίζων ὅστις ἰδιώτης ἢ ἄρχων ἢ πλούσιος ἢ πένης, ἐκτραχηλίζει τοὺς μὴ δυναμένους ὀχεῖσθαι. εὐήθη τοίνυν καὶ ἀβέλτερα τὰ τοῦ Βίωνος εἰ τὸν ἀγρὸν ἔμελλεν ἐγκωμιάζων εὔφορον ποιεῖν καὶ εὔκαρπον, εἶτʼ οὐκ ἂν ἁμαρτάνειν ἐδόκει τοῦτο μὴ ποιῶν μᾶλλον ἢ σκάπτων καὶ πράγματα ἔχων; οὐ τοίνυν οὐδʼ ἄνθρωπος ἄτοπος ἂν ἐπαίνων εἴη, εἰ τοῖς ἐπαινουμένοις ὠφέλιμός ἐστι καὶ πάμφορος. ὁ μὲν γὰρ ἀγρὸς οὐ γίγνεται χείρων ἐπαινούμενος, ἄνθρωπον δὲ τυφοῦσι καὶ ἀπολλύουσιν οἱ ψευδῶς καὶ παρʼ ἀξίαν ἐπαινοῦντες.

[¶5] 17. Enough, then, on this topic. Let us, as the next step, look at the subject of frankness. As Patroclus, when he equipped himself with the armour of Achilles, and drove forth his horses to battle, did not venture to touch the Pelian spear, but left that, and that only, behind, so the flatterer, when he arrays himself to masquerade in the badges and insignia proper to a friend, ought to leave frankness alone as the one thing not to be touched or imitated, as though it were a choice piece of equipment, “Heavy and big and solid,” belonging to friendship only. But since they shrink from the exposure that awaits them in laughter and wine, and in jest and jollity, and their next effort is to raise their business to a serious level, by putting a stern face on their flattery, and tempering it with a little blame and admonition, let us not neglect to examine this point also. My mind is this: Just as in Menander’s comedy the sham Heracles comes on carrying a club which is not solid nor strong, but a light and hollow counterfeit, so the flatterer’s frankness will appear, if we test it, to be soft and without weight or firmness, just like women’s cushions, which, while they seem to support and to offer resistance to their heads, yet rather yield and give way to them; and in the same way this counterfeit frankness, through having a hollow, false, and unsound bulk, is inflated and swollen, to the intent that later when it contracts and collapses it may take in and drag along with it the man who throws himself upon it. For the true frankness such as a friend displays applies itself to errors that are being committed; the pain which it causes is salutary and benignant, and, like honey, it causes the sore places to smart and cleanses them too, but in its other uses it is wholesome and sweet; this later shall have a chapter to itself. But the flatterer, in the first place, makes a parade of harshness and of being acrimonious and inexorable in his bearing towards others. For he is rough with his own servants, and very quick to pounce on the errors of his kinsmen and household, refusing to admire or extol any outsider but rather despising all such; he is relentless in his efforts to stir up others to anger by his slanders; his aim is to get the name of a hater of iniquity, and to give the impression that he would not willingly abate his frankness to please others, nor do or say anything at all to curry favour. In the second place, he pretends not to know or notice a single real and important misdeed, but he is very quick to swoop down upon trifling and immaterial shortcomings, and to indulge in an intense and vehement tirade if he sees that a bit of furniture is carelessly placed, if he sees that a man is a poor manager, if anyone is careless about having his hair cut or about his clothing, or does not give proper care to some dog or horse; but let a man disregard his parents, neglect his children, insult his wife, disdain his household, squander his money, all this is nothing to him, but in the midst of such matters he is mute and craven, like a trainer who allows an athlete to get drunk and live loosely, and then is very stern about oilflask and flesh-scraper, or like a schoolmaster who scolds a boy about his slate and pencil, and affects not to hear his blunders in grammar and diction. For the flatterer is the sort of person who will not say a word regarding the actual discourse of a cheap and ridiculous speaker, but will find fault with his voice, and accuse him severely because he ruins his throat by drinking cold water; or if he is requested to look over a wretched piece of writing, he will find fault with the paper for being rough, and call the copyist abominably careless. So it was with the flatterers of Ptolemy, who posed as a lover of learning; they would contend with him about an obscure word or a trifling verse or a point of history, and keep it up till midnight; but when he indulged in wanton cruelty and violence, played the cymbals and conducted his initiations, not one of all these people opposed his course. Just imagine a man using a surgeon’s lancet to cut the hair and nails of a person suffering from tumours and abscesses! Yet this is the sort of thing that flatterers do, who apply their frankness to those parts that feel no hurt or pain.

> Greek: 17. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν ἀπόχρη περὶ τούτων· ἐφεξῆς δὲ τὸ τῆς παρρησίας ἴδωμεν. ἔδει μὲν γάρ, ὡς ὁ Πάτροκλος τοῦ Ἀχιλλέως τὰ ὅπλα περιβαλλόμενος καὶ τοὺς ἵππους ἐξελαύνων ἐπὶ τὴν μάχην μόνης οὐκ ἐτόλμησε τῆς Πηλιάδος θιγεῖν ἀλλʼ ἀφῆκεν, οὕτω τὸν κόλακα τοῖς τοῦ φίλου σκευοποιούμενον καὶ ἀναπλαττόμενον ἐπισήμοις καὶ συμβόλοις μόνην τὴν παρρησίαν ὥσπερ ἐξαίρετον βάσταγμα φιλίας
βριθὺ μέγα στιβαρὸν
καταλείπειν ἄθικτον καὶ ἀμίμητον. ἐπεὶ δὲ φεύγοντες τὸν ἐν γέλωτι καὶ ἀκράτῳ καὶ σκώμμασι καὶ παιδιαῖς ἔλεγχον εἰς ὀφρῦν αἴρουσιν ἤδη τὸ πρᾶγμα καὶ κολακεύουσιν ἐσκυθρωπακότες καὶ ψόγον τινὰ καὶ νουθεσίαν παραμιγνύουσι, φέρε μηδὲ τοῦτο παραλίπωμεν ἀβασάνιστον. οἶμαι δέ, ὥσπερ ἐν κωμῳδίᾳ Μενάνδρου Ψευδηρακλῆς πρόσεισι ῥόπαλον οὐ στιβαρὸν κομίζων οὐδʼ ἰσχυρὸν ἀλλὰ χαῦνόν τι πλάσμα καὶ διάκενον, οὕτω τὴν τοῦ κόλακος παρρησίαν φανεῖσθαι πειρωμένοις μαλακὴν καὶ ἀβαρῆ καὶ τόνον οὐκ ἔχουσαν, ἀλλὰ ταὐτὰ τοῖς τῶν γυναικῶν προσκεφαλαίοις δρῶσαν, ἃ δοκοῦντα ταῖς κεφαλαῖς ἀντερείδειν καὶ ἀντέχειν ἐνδίδωσι καὶ ὑπείκει μᾶλλον ὥσπερ ἡ κίβδηλος αὕτη παρρησία κενὸν ἔχουσα καὶ ψευδῆ καὶ ὕπουλον ὄγκον ἐξήρθη καὶ ᾤδησεν, ἵνα συσταλεῖσα καὶ συμπεσοῦσα δέξηται καὶ συνεπισπάσηται τὸν καταφερόμενον εἰς αὐτήν. ἡ μὲν γὰρ ἀληθὴς καὶ φιλικὴ παρρησία τοῖς ἁμαρτανομένοις ἐπιφύεται, σωτήριον ἔχουσα καὶ κηδεμονικὸν τὸ λυποῦν, ὥσπερ τὸ μέλι τὰ ἡλκωμένα δάκνουσα καὶ καθαίρουσα, τἄλλα δʼ ὠφέλιμος οὖσα καὶ γλυκεῖα, περὶ ἧς ἴδιος ἔσται λόγος. ὁ δὲ κόλαξ πρῶτον μὲν ἐνδείκνυται τὸ πικρὸς εἶναι καὶ περισπερχὴς καὶ ἀπαραίτητος ἐν τοῖς πρὸς ἑτέρους οἰκέταις γὰρ αὑτοῦ χαλεπός ἐστι καὶ συγγενῶν καὶ οἰκείων ἐπεμβῆναι δεινὸς ἁμαρτήμασι καὶ μηδένα θαυμάσαι μηδὲ σεμνῦναι τῶν ἐκτὸς ἀλλʼ ὑπερορᾶν, ἀσυγγνώμων δὲ καὶ διάβολος ἐν τῷ πρὸς ὀργὴν ἑτέρους παροξύνειν, θηρώμενος μισοπονηρίας δόξαν, ὡς οὐκ ἂν ἑκὼν ὑφέμενος παρρησίας αὐτοῖς οὐδὲ ποιήσας οὐδὲν οὐδʼ εἰπὼν πρὸς χάριν, ἔπειτα δὲ τῶν μὲν ἀληθινῶν καὶ μεγάλων ἁμαρτημάτων οὐδὲν εἰδέναι προσποιούμενος οὐδὲ γιγνώσκειν, πρὸς δὲ τὰ μικρὰ καὶ τὰ ἐκτὸς ἐλλείμματα δεινὸς ᾆξαι καὶ μετὰ τόνου καθάψασθαι καὶ σφοδρότητος, ἂν σκεῦος ἀμελῶς ἴδῃ κείμενον, ἂν οἰκοῦντα φαύλως, ἂν ὀλιγωροῦντα κουρᾶς ἢ ἀμπεχόνης ἢ κυνός τινος ἢ ἵππου μὴ κατʼ ἀξίαν ἐπιμελόμενον· γονέων δὲ ὀλιγωρία καὶ παίδων ἀμέλεια καὶ ἀτιμία γαμετῆς καὶ πρὸς οἰκείους ὑπεροψία καὶ χρημάτων ὄλεθρος οὐδέν ἐστι πρὸς αὐτόν, ἀλλʼ ἄφωνος ἐν τούτοις καὶ ἄτολμος, ὥσπερ ἀθλητὴν ἀλείπτης ἐῶν μεθύειν καὶ ἀκολασταίνειν, εἶτα περὶ ληκύθου χαλεπὸς ὢν καὶ στλεγγίδος, ἢ γραμματικὸς ἐπιπλήττων παιδὶ περὶ δέλτου καὶ γραφείου, σολοικίζοντος δὲ καὶ βαρβαρίζοντος οὐ δοκῶν ἀκούειν. τοιοῦτος γὰρ ὁ κόλαξ, οἷος ῥήτορος φαύλου καὶ καταγελάστου μηδὲν εἰπεῖν πρὸς τὸν λόγον, ἀλλὰ περὶ τῆς φωνῆς αἰτιᾶσθαι καὶ χαλεπῶς ἐγκαλεῖν ὅτι τὴν ἀρτηρίαν διαφθείρει ψυχροποτῶν, καὶ σύγγραμμα κελευσθεὶς ἄθλιον διελθεῖν αἰτιᾶσθαι τὸ χαρτίον ὡς δασὺ καὶ τὸν γραφέα μιαρὸν καὶ ὀλίγωρον ἀποκαλεῖν. οὕτω δὲ καὶ Πτολεμαίῳ φιλομαθεῖν δοκοῦντι περὶ γλώττης καὶ στιχιδίου μαχόμενοι καὶ ἱστορίας μέχρι μέσων νυκτῶν ἀπέτεινον ὠμότητι δὲ χρωμένου καὶ ὕβρει καὶ τυμπανίζοντος καὶ τελοῦντος οὐδεὶς ἐνέστη τῶν τοσούτων. ὥσπερ οὖν εἴ τις ἀνθρώπου φύματα καὶ σύριγγας ἔχοντος ἰατρικῷ σμιλίῳ τὰς τρίχας τέμνοι καὶ τοὺς ὄνυχας, οὕτως οἱ κόλακες τὴν παρρησίαν πρὸς τὰ μὴ λυπούμενα μέρη μηδʼ ἀλγοῦντα προσφέρουσιν.

[¶6] 18. There is still another class of persons, even more unscrupulous than these, who employ this frankness of speech and reprehension of theirs in order to give pleasure. For example, Agis, the Argive, on an occasion when Alexander gave great gifts to a jester, in his jealousy and chagrin shouted out, “Heavens, what gross absurdity!” The king turned upon him angrily and said, “What’s that you say?” Whereupon he replied, “I confess that I feel troubled and indignant at seeing that all you sons of Zeus alike show favour to flatterers and ridiculous persons. For Heracles had pleasure in certain Cercopes, and Dionysus in Sileni, and one can see that such persons are in good repute with you.” And once, when Tiberius Caesar had come into the Senate, one of the flatterers arose and said that they ought, being free men, to speak frankly, and not to dissemble or refrain from discussing anything that might be for the general good. Having thus aroused general attention, in the ensuing silence, as Tiberius gave ear, he said, “Listen, Caesar, to the charges which we are all making against you, but which no one dares to speak out. You do not take proper care of yourself, you are prodigal of your bodily strength, you are continually wearing it out in your anxieties and labours in our behalf, you give yourself no respite either by day or by night.” As he drew out a long string of such phrases, they say that the orator Cassius Severus remarked, “Such frankness as this will be the death of this man!”

> Greek: 18. ἔτι δὲ τούτων ἕτεροι πανουργότεροι καὶ πρὸς ἡδονὴν χρῶνται τῷ παρρησιάζεσθαι καὶ ψέγειν. καθάπερ Ἆγις ὁ Ἀργεῖος, Ἀλεξάνδρου γελωτοποιῷ τινι μεγάλας δωρεὰς διδόντος, ὑπὸ φθόνου καὶ λύπης ἐξέκραγεν ὢ τῆς πολλῆς ἀτοπίας, ἐπιστρέψαντος δὲ τοῦ βασιλέως πρὸς αὐτὸν ὀργῇ καί τί δὴ σὺ λέγεις; εἰπόντος ὁμολογῶ φησὶν ἄχθεσθαι καὶ ἀγανακτεῖν, ὁρῶν ὑμᾶς τοὺς ἐκ Διὸς γεγονότας ἅπαντας ὁμοίως κόλαξιν ἀνθρώποις καὶ καταγελάστοις χαίροντας· καὶ γὰρ Ἡρακλῆς Κέρκωψί τισι, καὶ Σειληνοῖς ὁ Διόνυσος ἐτέρπετο, καὶ παρὰ σοὶ τοιούτους ἰδεῖν ἔστιν εὐδοκιμοῦντας. Τιβερίου δὲ Καίσαρος εἰς τὴν σύγκλητόν ποτε παρελθόντος εἷς τῶν κολάκων ἀναστὰς ἔφη δεῖν ἐλευθέρους ὄντας παρρησιάζεσθαι καὶ μηδὲν ὑποστέλλεσθαι μηδʼ ἀποσιωπᾶν τῶν συμφερόντων ἀνατείνας δὲ πάντας οὕτως, γενομένης αὐτῷ σιωπῆς καὶ τοῦ Τιβερίου προσέχοντος, ἄκουσον ἔφη Καῖσαρ. ἅ σοι πάντες ἐγκαλοῦμεν, οὐδεὶς δὲ τολμᾷ φανερῶς λέγειν. ἀμελεῖς σεαυτοῦ καὶ προΐεσαι τὸ σῶμα καὶ κατατρύχεις ἀεὶ φροντίσι καὶ πόνοις ὑπὲρ ἡμῶν, οὔτε μεθʼ ἡμέραν οὔτε νυκτὸς ἀναπαυόμενος. πολλὰ δʼ αὐτοῦ τοιαῦτα συνείροντος, εἰπεῖν φασι τὸν ῥήτορα Κάσσιον Σευῆρον αὕτη τοῦτον ἡ παρρησία τὸν ἄνθρωπον ἀποκτενεῖ καὶ ταυτὶ μὲν ἐλάττονά ἐστιν.

[¶7] 19. All that is really a minor matter. But we come now to matters that are a serious problem, and do great damage to the foolish, when the flatterer’s accusations are directed against emotions and weaknesses the contrary to those that a person really has. For example, Himerius the flatterer used to vilify a man, the most illiberal and avaricious of the rich men at Athens, as a careless profligate destined to starve miserably together with his children. Or again, on the other hand, they will reproach profligate and lavish spenders with meanness and sordidness (as Titus Petronius did with Nero); or they will bid rulers who deal savagely and fiercely with their subjects to lay aside their excessive clemency and their inopportune and unprofitable pity. Very like to these also is the man who pretends to be on his guard against some simple and stupid fool, and to fear him as a clever rascal; and so, too, if a malicious person, and one that delights in constant evil-speaking and fault-finding, be induced to commend some man of note, a flatterer of this stamp takes him straight in hand, and contradicts him, declaring that it is a weakness of his to commend even the worthless. “For who is this fellow, or what brilliant thing has he said or done?” Especially in regard to love affairs they beset their victims and add fuel to their fire. Likewise if they see that any are in disagreement with their brothers, or that they contemn their parents, or deal scornfully with their wives, they do not admonish or arraign them, but try to intensify such feelings. “You have no proper appreciation of yourself,” they say, and, “You have yourself to blame for this, because you always affect such an obsequious and humble air.” And if, as a result of temper and jealousy, a feeling of irritation is engendered toward a mistress or another man’s wife with whom the man has a love-affair, in comes flattery at once with a splendid frankness, adding fire to fire, pleading for justice, accusing the lover of many unloving, obdurate, and reprehensible actions: “O ingrate, after crowding kiss on kiss!” So the friends of Antony, who was consumed with love of the Egyptian woman, tried to make him believe that she was enamoured of him, and, upbraiding him, they would call him cold and haughty: “For the woman, forsaking so great a kingdom and so many happy employments, is wearing her life away, as she follows with you on your marches in the guise of a concubine; “But the mind in your breast is proof against enchantment,” and you are indifferent to her distress.” He was pleased at being taken to task for such wrongdoing, and taking more pleasure in those who accused him than he did even in any who commended him, he failed to see that by this seeming admonition he was being perversely drawn towards her. Such frankness is like the love bites of lascivious women; it arouses and tickles the sense of pleasure by pretending to cause pain. So undiluted wine is of itself a helpful remedy for the hemlock poison, but if they add it to hemlock and mix the two together they make the potency of the drug quite beyond remedy, since it is rapidly carried to the heart by the heat. In like manner the unscrupulous, being well aware that frankness is a great remedy for flattery, flatter by means of frankness itself. It is for this reason that Bias did not give a good answer to the man who asked him “What is the fiercest animal?” when he replied, “Of the wild animals the tyrant, and of the domesticated the flatterer.” For it were nearer the truth to say, that among flatterers those who hover about the bath and the table are domesticated, whereas he that extends his meddling and slander and malice like tentacles into the bedchamber and the women’s privacy, is an uncivilized brute and most hard to handle.

> Greek: 19. ἐκεῖνα δʼ ἤδη χαλεπὰ καὶ λυμαινόμενα τοὺς ἀνοήτους, ὅταν εἰς τἀναντία πάθη καὶ νοσήματα κατηγορῶσιν ὥσπερ Ἱμέριος ὁ κόλαξ τῶν πλουσίων τινὰ τὸν ἀνελευθερώτατον καὶ φιλαργυρώτατον Ἀθήνησιν ὡς ἄσωτον ἐλοιδόρει καὶ ἀμελῆ καὶ πεινήσοντα κακῶς μετὰ τῶν τέκνων ἢ τοὺς ἀσώτους αὖ πάλιν καὶ πολυτελεῖς εἰς μικρολογίαν καὶ ῥυπαρίαν ὀνειδίζωσιν ὥσπερ Νέρωνα Τίτος Πετρώνιος ἢ τοὺς ὠμῶς καὶ ἀγρίως προσφερομένους ἄρχοντας ὑπηκόοις ἀποθέσθαι κελεύωσι τὴν πολλὴν ἐπιείκειαν καὶ τὸν ἄκαιρον ἔλεον καὶ ἀσύμφορον. ὅμοιος δὲ τούτοις καὶ ὁ τὸν εὐήθη καὶ βλᾶκα καὶ ἀβέλτερον ὡς δεινὸν τινα καὶ πανοῦργον καὶ φυλάττεσθαι καὶ δεδιέναι προσποιούμενος, καὶ ὁ τοῦ βασκάνου δὲ καὶ τῷ κακολογεῖν ἀεὶ καὶ ψέγειν χαίροντος, ἄν ποτε προαχθεὶς ἐπαινέσῃ τινὰ τῶν ἐνδόξων, καθαπτόμενος καὶ ἀντιλέγων ὡς νόσημα τοῦτʼ ἔχοντος, ἀνθρώπους ἐπαινεῖν καὶ μηδενὸς ἀξίους. τίς γὰρ οὗτός ἐστιν ἢ τί λαμπρὸν εἴρηκεν ἢ πεποίηκε; μάλιστα δὲ περὶ τοὺς ἔρωτας τοῖς κολακευομένοις ἐπιτίθενται καὶ προσεκκάουσιν. ἀδελφοῖς μὲν γὰρ ὁρῶντες διαφερομένους γονέων ὑπερφρονοῦντας ἢ πρὸς γυναῖκας αὐτῶν ὑπεροπτικῶς ἔχοντας οὔτε νουθετοῦσιν οὔτʼ ἐγκαλοῦσιν, ἀλλὰ καὶ προσεπιτείνουσι τὰς ὀργάς. οὐ γὰρ αἰσθάνῃ σαυτοῦ καὶ σὺ τούτων αἴτιος, ἀεὶ θεραπευτικῶς προσφερόμενος καὶ ταπεινῶς. ἂν δὲ πρὸς ἑταίραν ἢ μοιχεύτριαν ἐρωμένην κνησμός τις ἐξ ὀργῆς καὶ ζηλοτυπίας ἐγγένηται, πάρεστιν εὐθὺς μετὰ παρρησίας λαμπρᾶς ἡ κολακεία, πῦρ ἐπὶ πῦρ εἰσφέρουσα καὶ δικαιολογουμένη καὶ κατηγοροῦσα τοῦ ἐρῶντος ὡς ἀνέραστα πολλὰ καὶ σκληρὰ καὶ νεμεσητὰ ποιοῦντος·
ὦ δυσχάριστε, τῶν πυκνῶν φιλημάτων.
οὕτως Ἀντώνιον οἱ φίλοι τῆς Αἰγυπτίας ἐρῶντα καὶ καόμενον ἀνέπειθον ὡς ὑπʼ ἐκείνης ἐρῷτο, καὶ λοιδοροῦντες ἐκάλουν ἀπαθῆ καὶ ὑπερήφανον. ἡ μὲν γὰρ γυνὴ καταλιποῦσα βασιλείαν τοσαύτην καὶ διατριβὰς εὐδαίμονας φθείρεται μετὰ σοῦ στρατευομένη, σχῆμα παλλακίδος ἔχουσα·
σοὶ δέ τις ἐν στήθεσσιν ἀκήλητος νόος ἐστί
καὶ περιορᾷς αὐτὴν ἀνιωμένην ὁ δʼ ἡδέως ἐλεγχόμενος ὡς ἀδικῶν καὶ τοῖς κατηγοροῦσι χαίρων ὡς οὐδὲ τοῖς ἐπαινοῦσιν ἐλάνθανε τῷ νουθετεῖν δοκοῦντι προσδιαστρεφόμενος. ἔοικε γὰρ ἡ τοιαύτη παρρησία τοῖς τῶν ἀκολάστων δήγμασι γυναικῶν, ἐγείρουσα καὶ γαργαλίζουσα τῷ δοκοῦντι λυπεῖν τὸ ἡδόμενον. καὶ καθάπερ τὸν ἄκρατον ἄλλως βοηθοῦντα πρὸς τὸ κώνειον ἂν ἐμμίξωσι προσεμβαλόντες αὐτῷ, κομιδῇ ποιοῦσι τὴν τοῦ φαρμάκου δύναμιν ἀβοήθητον, ὀξέως ἀναφερομένην ἐπὶ τὴν καρδίαν ὑπὸ θερμότητος, οὕτω τὴν παρρησίαν ἐπιστάμενοι μέγα βοήθημα πρὸς τὴν κολακείαν οὖσαν οἱ πονηροὶ διʼ αὐτῆς κολακεύουσι τῆς παρρησίας. ὅθεν οὐδʼ ὁ Βίας ἀπεκρίνατο καλῶς τῷ πυθομένῳ τί τῶν ζῴων χαλεπώτατόν ἐστιν, ἀποκρινάμενος ὅτι τῶν μὲν ἀγρίων ὁ τύραννος, τῶν δʼ ἡμέρων ὁ κόλαξ. ἀληθέστερον γὰρ ἦν εἰπεῖν ὅτι τῶν κολάκων ἥμεροι μέν εἰσιν οἱ περὶ τὸ βαλανεῖον καὶ περὶ τὴν τράπεζαν, ὁ δʼ εἰς τὰ δωμάτια καὶ τὴν γυναικωνῖτιν ἐκτείνων ὥσπερ πλεκτάνας τὸ πολύπραγμον καὶ διάβολον καὶ κακόηθες ἄγριος καὶ θηριώδης καὶ δυσμεταχείριστος.

[¶8] 20. One mode of protection, as it would seem, is to realize and remember always that our soul has its two sides: on the one side are truthfulness, love for what is honourable, and power to reason, and on the other side irrationality, love of falsehood, and the emotional element; the friend is always found on the better side as counsel and advocate, trying, after the manner of a physician, to foster the growth of what is sound and to preserve it; but the flatterer takes his place on the side of the emotional and irrational, and this he excites and tickles and wheedles, and tries to divorce from the reasoning powers by contriving for it divers low forms of pleasurable enjoyment. There are some sorts of food, for example, that are without affinity for either the blood or the breath, which add no vigour to nerves or marrow, but only excite the lower passions, arouse the appetite, and make unsound flesh that is morbid within. So the flatterer’s talk adds nothing to the thinking and reasoning powers, but only promotes familiarity with some amorous pleasure, intensifies a foolish fit of temper, provokes envy, engenders an offensive and inane bulk of conceit, commiserates in distress, or, by a succession of slanders and forebodings, causes malice, illiberality and distrust to grow bitter, timorous, and suspicious; and these are all matters that will not escape the observant. For the flatterer is always covertly on the watch for some emotion, and pampering it, and his presence is like that of a tumour in that he ever comes immediately following some morbid or inflamed condition of the soul. “Are you angry? Punish then.” “Do you crave a thing? Then buy it.” “Are you afraid? Let’s run away.” “Have you a suspicion? Then give it credence.” But if it is hard to detect the flatterer when he is engaged with these major emotions, inasmuch as our power to reason is deranged by their vehemence and magnitude, yet with the lesser ones he will better give a vantage, since his behaviour here will be the same. For example, if a man is afraid that he may have a headache or a digestive upset from drinking or eating to excess, and hesitates about bathing and taking food, a friend will try to hold him back, and advise him to be careful and cautious, but the flatterer drags him off to the baths, and bids him order some novel dish, and not to maltreat his body by forced abstinence. And if he sees his man to be feebly inclined towards some journey or voyage or undertaking, he will say that the occasion is not pressing but that they will accomplish the same result by postponement or by sending somebody else. If the man, after promising money as a loan or a gift to some personal friend, wants to change his mind, but is ashamed to do so, the flatterer throws his weight upon the worse inclination, strengthens his opinion touching his purse, and banishes his feeling of mortification, bidding him be economical, since he has many expenses and many mouths to feed. It follows, therefore, that if we are not unaware of our own feelings of covetousness, shamelessness, and cowardice, we shall not be unaware of the flatterer. For he always acts as an advocate of such emotions, and is frank in discussing the results to which they lead. This, then, is enough on this subject.

> Greek: 20. εἷς δέ τις ἔοικε τρόπος εἶναι φυλακῆς τὸ γιγνώσκειν καὶ μνημονεύειν ἀεὶ ὅτι τῆς ψυχῆς τὸ μὲν ἀληθινὸν καὶ φιλόκαλον καὶ λογικὸν ἐχούσης, τὸ δʼ ἄλογον καὶ φιλοψευδὲς καὶ παθητικόν, ὁ μὲν φίλος ἀεὶ τῷ κρείττονι πάρεστι σύμβουλος καὶ συνήγορος, ὥσπερ ἰατρὸς τὸ ὑγιαῖνον αὔξων καὶ διαφυλάττων, ὁ δὲ κόλαξ τῷ παθητικῷ καὶ ἀλόγῳ παρακάθηται, καὶ τοῦτο κνᾷ καὶ γαργαλίζει καὶ ἀναπείθει, καὶ ἀφίστησι τοῦ λογισμοῦ, μηχανώμενος αὐτῷ πονηράς τινας ἡδυπαθείας. ὥσπερ οὖν τῶν σιτίων ἔστιν ἃ μήθʼ αἵματι προσφύεται μήτε πνεύματι, μηδὲ νεύροις τινὰ τόνον ἢ μυελοῖς προστίθησιν, ἀλλʼ αἰδοῖα παρακινεῖ καὶ κοιλίαν ἐγείρει καὶ σάρκα ποιεῖ σαθρὰν καὶ ὕπουλον, οὕτως ὁ τοῦ· κόλακος λόγος οὐδὲν τῷ φρονοῦντι καὶ λογιζομένῳ προστίθησιν, ἀλλʼ ἡδονήν τινα τιθασεύων ἔρωτος ἢ θυμὸν ἐντείνων ἀνόητον ἢ διερεθίζων φθόνον ἢ φρονήματος ὄγκον ἐμποιῶν ἐπαχθῆ καὶ κενὸν ἢ λύπῃ συνεπιθρηνῶν ἢ τὸ κακόηθες καὶ ἀνελεύθερον καὶ ἄπιστον ἀεί τισι διαβολαῖς καὶ προαισθήσεσι δριμὺ καὶ ψοφοδεὲς ποιῶν καὶ ὕποπτον οὐ διαφεύξεται τοὺς προσέχοντας. ἀεὶ γὰρ ὑφορμεῖ τινι πάθει καὶ τοῦτο πιαίνει, καὶ πάρεστι βουβῶνος δίκην ἑκάστοτε τοῖς ὑπούλοις καὶ φλεγμαίνουσι τῆς ψυχῆς ἐπιγιγνόμενος. ὀργίζῃ; κόλασον. ἐπιθυμεῖς; ὤνησαι. φοβῇ; φύγωμεν. ὑπονοεῖς; πίστευσον ἂν δὲ περὶ ταῦτα δυσφώρατος τὰ πάθη, διὰ σφοδρότητα καὶ μέγεθος ἐκκρουομένου τοῦ λογισμοῦ, περὶ τὰ μικρὰ λαβὴν παρέξει μᾶλλον, ὅμοιος ὤν. καὶ γὰρ ἐν ὑποψίᾳ κραιπάλης τινὸς ἢ πλησμονῆς γενόμενον καὶ διστάζοντα περὶ λουτροῦ καὶ τροφῆς ὁ μὲν φίλος ἐφέξει, φυλάττεσθαι καὶ προσέχειν παραινῶν, ὁ δὲ κόλαξ εἰς τὸ βαλανεῖον ἕλκει, καὶ κελεύει νεαρόν τι παρατιθέναι καὶ μὴ κακοῦν ἀνατάσει τὸ σῶμα. καὶ πρὸς ὁδὸν ἢ πλοῦν ἤ τινα πρᾶξιν ὁρῶν ἀπομαλακιζόμενον οὐ φήσει κατεπείγειν τὸν καιρόν, ἀλλὰ ταὐτὸ ποιήσειν ὑπερθεμένους ἢ πέμψαντας ἕτερον. ἂν δʼ ὑπεσχημένος ἀργύριον οἰκείῳ τινὶ δανείσειν ἢ ἐπιδώσειν μεταμέληται μὲν αἰδῆται δέ, τῇ χείρονι ῥοπῇ προστιθεὶς ἑαυτὸν ὁ κόλαξ ἐπέρρωσε τὴν εἰς τὸ βαλλάντιον γνώμην καὶ τὸ δυσωπούμενον ἐξέκοψεν, ὡς ἀναλίσκοντα πολλὰ καὶ πολλοῖς ἀρκεῖν ὀφείλοντα φείδεσθαι κελεύων. ὅθεν εἰ μὴ λανθάνομεν ἑαυτοὺς ἐπιθυμοῦντες ἀναισχυντοῦντες ἀποδειλιῶντες, ὁ κόλαξ ἡμᾶς οὐ λήσεται. ἔστι γὰρ συνηγορῶν ἀεὶ τούτοις τοῖς πάθεσι καὶ περὶ τὰς τούτων ἐκβάσεις παρρησιαζόμενος. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν ἱκανὰ περὶ τούτων.

## 3. Sections 21–27

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/3/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/3/#p-N

[¶0] 21. Let us come without more ado to the topic of services and ministrations; for it is in these that the flatterer brings about a great confusion and uncertainty in regard to the difference between himself and the friend, because he appears to be brisk and eager in everything and never to make an excuse. For the character of a friend, like the “language of truth,” is, as Euripides puts it, “simple,” plain, and unaffected, whereas that of the flatterer, in very truth Self-sick, hath need of dextrous remedies, and of a good many too, I venture to affirm, and of an uncommon sort. Take the case of one person meeting another: a friend sometimes, without the exchange of a word, but merely by a glance and a smile, gives and receives through the medium of the eyes an intimation of the goodwill and intimacy that is in the heart, and passes on. But the flatterer runs, pursues, extends his greeting at a distance, and if he be seen and spoken to first, he pleads his defence with witnesses and oaths over and over again. It is the same with actions: friends omit many of the trifling formalities, not being at all exacting or officious in this respect, not putting themselves forward for every kind of ministration; whereas the flatterer is in these matters persistent, assiduous, and untiring, giving to no one else place or space for a good office, but he is eager for orders, and if he receives none he is nettled, or rather he is utterly dispirited and gives way to lamentations.

> Greek: 21. ἐπὶ δὲ τὰς χρείας καὶ τὰς ὑπουργίας ἴωμεν ἤδη· καὶ γὰρ ἐν ταύταις πολλὴν ἀπεργάζεται σύγχυσιν καὶ ἀσάφειαν ὁ κόλαξ τῆς πρὸς τὸν φίλον διαφορᾶς, ἄοκνος δοκῶν εἶναι καὶ πρόθυμος ἐν πᾶσι καὶ ἀπροφάσιστος. ὁ μὲν γὰρ τοῦ φίλου τρόπος ὥσπερ ὁ τῆς ἀληθείας μῦθος ἁπλοῦς ἐστι κατʼ Εὐριπίδην καὶ ἀφελὴς καὶ ἄπλαστος, ὁ δὲ τοῦ κόλακος ὄντως
νοσῶν ἐν αὑτῷ φαρμάκων δεῖται σοφῶν
καὶ πολλῶν νὴ Δία καὶ περιττῶν. ὥσπερ οὖν ἐν ταῖς ἀπαντήσεσιν ὁ μὲν φίλος ἔστιν ὅτε μήτʼ εἰπὼν μήτʼ ἀκούσας μηδὲν ἀλλὰ προσβλέψας καὶ μειδιάσας τὸ εὐμενὲς καὶ τὸ οἰκεῖον ἔνδοθεν δοὺς ταῖς ὄψεσι καὶ δεξάμενος παρῆλθεν, ὁ δὲ κόλαξ τρέχει καταδιώκει δεξιοῦται πόρρωθεν, ἂν προσαγορευθῇ πρότερον ὀφθείς, ἀπολογεῖται μετὰ μαρτύρων καὶ ὅρκων πολλάκις, οὕτως ἐν ταῖς πράξεσι πολλὰ παραλείπουσιν οἱ φίλοι τῶν μικρῶν, οὐκ ἐξακριβοῦντες οὐδὲ πολυπραγμονοῦντες οὐδέν, οὐδʼ ἑαυτοὺς εἰς πᾶσαν ὑπουργίαν ἐμβάλλοντες. ἀλλʼ ἐκεῖνος ἐνταῦθα συνεχὴς καὶ ἐνδελεχὴς καὶ ἄτρυτος, οὐ διδοὺς ἑτέρῳ τόπον οὐδὲ χώραν διακονίας, ἀλλὰ βουλόμενος κελεύεσθαι, κἂν μὴ κελευσθῇ, δακνόμενος, μᾶλλον δʼ ὅλως ἐξαθυμῶν καὶ ποτνιώμενος.

[¶1] 22. Now to people of sense these are manifestations, not of a pure nor a chaste friendship, but of a friendship that is more ready than it should be to solicit and embrace. We need first, however, to consider the difference shown by the two men in offering their services. It has been well said by writers before our time that a friend’s offer takes this form: “Yes, if I have the power, and if it can be accomplished,” while a flatterer’s is like this: “Speak what you have in mind.” In fact the comic poets introduce on the stage characters of this sort: “Match me, Nicomachus, against that brute; If I don’t pulp his carcase with my whip And make his visage softer than a sponge.” In the second place, no friend enters into cooperation unless he has first been taken into consultation, and then only after he has examined the undertaking and agreed in setting it down as fitting or expedient; but if anyone concedes to the flatterer an opportunity to take part in examining and pronouncing upon some matter in hand, inasmuch as he not only desires to yield and give gratification, but also fears to afford suspicion that he may draw back and avoid the task, he gives way and adds his urgency to the other’s desires. For it is not easy to find a wealthy man or a king who will say: “Give me a beggar—and if he so will, Worse than a beggar—who, through love for me Leaves fear behind, and speaks his heart’s belief;” but such people, like the tragedians, want to have a chorus of friends singing the same tune or a sympathetic audience to applaud them. This is the reason why Merope in the tragedy gives this advice: “Have friends who are not yielding in their speech, But let your house be barred against the knaves Who try by pleasing you to win regard.” But such people generally do just the opposite; they abominate those who are “not yielding in speech,” who take a stand against them for their own good, while “the knaves who try to win regard,” the servile impostors, they receive not only within their “houses barred,” but even within their secret emotions and concerns. The more simple-minded of such flatterers does not think it necessary or proper that he be taken into consultation regarding matters of this sort, but only that he be a ministrant and servant; whereas the more unscrupulous will do no more than to join in the deliberation, contracting his brows, and looking his assent, but says not a word. However, if the other man states his view, then he says, “Gad, but you got a bit ahead of me; I was just going to say that very thing.” Now the mathematicians tell us that surfaces and lines do not bend or extend or move of themselves, being imaginary conceptions without material substance, but that they bend and extend and change their position along with the bodies of which they are the boundaries: so, too, you shall detect the flatterer by his being always in agreement with his victim in words and expressions, —yes, in pleasures and in angry passions too—so that in these matters, at least, the difference is quite easy to detect. Still more is this evident in the manner of his ministrations. For a gracious act on the part of a friend is like a living thing: it has its most potent qualities deep within it, and there is nothing on the surface to suggest show or display; but, as a physician cures without his patient’s knowledge, so oftentimes a friend does a good turn by interceding or by settling, while the object of his solicitude knows nothing of it. Such a friend was Arcesilaus in all his dealings, and this was especially seen of him when he discovered the poverty of Apelles of Chios, who was ill; for on his next visit he came with twenty shillings, and taking a seat by the bed, remarked, “There is nothing here but Empedocles’ elements, “Fire and water and earth and the gentle heights of ether.” But you are not even lying at ease.” And with that he re-arranged his pillow, and, unobserved, slipped the money underneath. When the aged servingwoman discovered it, and in amazement announced her discovery to Apelles, he said with a laugh, “Arcesilaus contrived that fraud!” Moreover, the saying that “children are born like their parents” holds true in the field of philosophy. At any rate, Lacydes, the associate of Arcesilaus, stood by Cephisocrates, as did his other friends, when he was impeached; and when the prosecutor demanded his ring, Cephisocrates quietly let it fall beside him, and Lacydes, perceiving this, put his foot on it and concealed it; for the tell-tale evidence was in the ring. After the verdict, Cephisocrates was shaking hands with the jurors, when one of them, who apparently had seen what happened, bade him thank Lacydes, and related the whole affair; but Lacydes had told it to nobody. So, too, I imagine the gods confer their benefits, for the most part, without our knowledge, since it is their nature to take pleasure in the mere act of being gracious and doing good. But the flatterer’s activity shows no sign of honesty, truth, straightforwardness, or generosity, but only sweating and clamour and running to and fro, and a strained look that gives the appearance and suggestion of onerous and urgent business. It is like an extravagantly wrought picture, which by means of gaudy pigments, irregular folds in the garments, wrinkles, and sharp angles, strives to produce an impression of vividness. He is offensive, too, as he relates how he has had to go hither and thither on the business, how he has worried over it, and then, as he tells of all the enmity he has incurred, and then of his countless troubles and great tribulations; and, as a result, he gets a declaration that it was not worth all that. For any favour that evokes a reproach from its recipient is offensive, disfavoured, intolerable; and in the flatterer’s favours there is this reproach and mortification, which is felt, not at some later time, but at the very time when they are performed. But if a friend has to tell what he has done, he reports it modestly and says nothing about himself. It was in this spirit that the Lacedaemonians sent corn to the people of Smyrna in their need, and when these expressed their admiration of the gracious action, the Lacedaemonians said, “It was nothing of any importance; we merely voted that we and our cattle go without dinner for one day, and collected the amount.” Such graciousness is not only the mark of a generous spirit, but it is pleasanter for the recipients, since they feel that those who assist them suffer no great damage.

> Greek: 22. ἔστι μὲν οὖν καὶ ταῦτα δηλώματα τοῖς νοῦν ἔχουσιν οὐκ ἀληθινῆς φιλίας οὐδὲ σώφρονος ἀλλʼ ἑταιρούσης καὶ περιπλεκομένης ἑτοιμότερον τῶν δεομένων. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ δεῖ πρῶτον ἐν ταῖς ἐπαγγελίαις σκοπεῖν τὴν διαφοράν. εὖ γὰρ εἴρηται καὶ τοῖς πρὸ ἡμῶν φίλου μὲν ἐκείνην εἶναι τὴν ἐπαγγελίαν
εἰ δύναμαι τελέσαι γε καὶ εἰ τετελεσμένον ἐστί,
κόλακος δὲ ταύτην
αὔδα ὅ τι φρονέεις
καὶ γὰρ οἱ κωμικοὶ τοιούτους εἰσάγουσιν
ἐμέ, Νικόμαχε, πρὸς τὸν στρατιώτην τάξατε,
ἂν μὴ ποιήσω πέπονα μαστιγῶν ὅλον,
ἂν μὴ ποιήσω σπογγιᾶς μαλακώτερον
τὸ πρόσωπον
ἔπειτα τῶν μὲν φίλων οὐδεὶς γίγνεται συνεργός, εἰ μὴ γεγένηται σύμβουλος πρότερον, ἀλλʼ ὅταν δοκιμάσῃ καὶ. συγκαταστήσῃ τὴν πρᾶξιν εἰς τὸ πρέπον ἢ τὸ συμφέρον ὁ δὲ κόλαξ, κἂν ἀποδῷ τις αὐτῷ τὸ συνδοκιμάσαι καὶ συναποφήνασθαι περὶ τοῦ πράγματος, οὐ μόνον ὑπείκειν καὶ χαρίζεσθαι βουλόμενος, ἀλλὰ καὶ δεδιὼς ὑποψίαν ὀκνοῦντος παρέχειν καὶ φεύγοντος τὸ ἔργον, ἐνδίδωσι καὶ συνεξορμᾷ τὴν ἐπιθυμίαν. οὐδεὶς γάρ ἐστι ῥᾳδίως πλούσιος οὐδὲ βασιλεὺς οἷος εἰπεῖν
ἐμοὶ γὰρ εἴη πτωχός, εἰ δὲ βούλεται,
πτωχοῦ κακίων, ὅστις ὢν εὔνους ἐμοὶ
φόβον παρελθὼν τἀπὸ καρδίας ἐρεῖ,
ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ οἱ τραγῳδοὶ χοροῦ δέονται φίλων συνᾳδόντων ἢ θεάτρου συνεπικροτοῦντος. ὅθεν ἡ μὲν τραγικὴ Μερόπη παραινεῖ
φίλους δὲ τοὺς μὲν μὴ χαλῶντας ἐν λόγοις
κέκτησο, τοὺς δὲ πρὸς χάριν σὺν ἡδονῇ
τῇ σῇ πονηροὺς κλῇθρον εἰργέτω στέγης,
οἱ δὲ τοὐναντίον δρῶσι, τοὺς μὲν μὴ χαλῶντας ἐν λόγοις ἀλλʼ ἀντιβαίνοντας ὑπὲρ τοῦ συμφέροντος ἀφοσιοῦνται, τοὺς δὲ πρὸς χάριν πονηροὺς καὶ ἀνελευθέρους καὶ γόητας οὐ μόνον κλῄθρων καὶ στέγης ἐντὸς ἀλλὰ καὶ παθῶν καὶ πραγμάτων ἀπορρήτων λαμβάνουσιν. ὧν ὁ μὲν ἁπλούστερος οὐκ οἴεται δεῖν οὐδʼ ἀξιοῖ σύμβουλος εἶναι πραγμάτων τηλικούτων ἀλλʼ ὑπουργὸς καὶ διάκονος, ὁ δὲ πανουργότερος ἔστη μὲν ἐν τῷ συνδιαπορεῖν καὶ τὰς ὀφρῦς συνάγειν καὶ συνδιανεύειν τῷ προσώπῳ, λέγει δʼ οὐδέν· ἂν δʼ ἐκεῖνος εἴπῃ τὸ φαινόμενον, ὦ Ἡράκλεις, ἔφθης με φησὶ μικρὸν εἰπών, ἐγὼ γὰρ αὐτὸ τοῦτο λέγειν ἔμελλον ὡς γὰρ οἱ μαθηματικοὶ τὰς ἐπιφανείας καὶ τὰς γραμμὰς λέγουσι μήτε κάμπτεσθαι μήτε διατείνεσθαι μήτε κινεῖσθαι καθʼ ἑαυτάς, νοητὰς καὶ ἀσωμάτους οὔσας, συγκάμπτεσθαι δὲ καὶ συνδιατείνεσθαι καὶ συμμεθίστασθαι τοῖς σώμασιν ὧν πέρατά εἰσιν, οὕτω τὸν κόλακα φωράσεις ἀεὶ συνεπιφάσκοντα καὶ συναποφαινόμενον καὶ συνηδόμενον νὴ Δία καὶ συνοργιζόμενον, ὥστε παντελῶς ἔν γε τούτοις εὐφώρατον εἶναι τὴν διαφοράν. ἔτι δὲ μᾶλλον ἐν τῷ τρόπῳ τῆς ὑπουργίας. ἡ μὲν γὰρ παρὰ τοῦ φίλου χάρις ὥσπερ ζῷον ἐν βάθει τὰς κυριωτάτας ἔχει δυνάμεις, ἐπιδεικτικὸν δὲ καὶ πανηγυρικὸν οὐδὲν ἔπεστιν ἀλλὰ πολλάκις, ὥσπερ ἰατρὸς λαθὼν ἐθεράπευσε, καὶ φίλος ὠφέλησεν ἐντυχὼν ἢ διαλυσάμενος, ἀγνοοῦντος ἐπιμεληθείς τοιοῦτος Ἀρκεσίλαος περί τε τἄλλα καὶ νοσοῦντος Ἀπελλοῦ τοῦ Χίου τὴν πενίαν καταμαθὼν ἐπανῆλθεν αὖθις ἔχων εἴκοσι δραχμάς, καὶ καθίσας πλησίον ἐνταῦθα μέν εἶπεν οὐδὲν ἢ τὰ Ἐμπεδοκλέους στοιχεῖα ταυτὶ
πῦρ καὶ ὕδωρ καὶ γαῖα καὶ αἰθέρος ἤπιον ὕψος
ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ κατάκεισαι σὺ δεξιῶς, ἅμα δὲ διακινῶν τὸ προσκεφάλαιον αὐτοῦ, λαθὼν ὑπέβαλε τὸ κερμάτιον. ὡς οὖν ἡ διακονοῦσα πρεσβῦτις εὗρε καὶ θαυμάσασα τῷ Ἀπελλῇ προσήγγειλε, γελάσας ἐκεῖνος Ἀρκεσιλάου εἶπε τοῦτο τὸ κλέμμα καὶ μὴν ἐοικότα γε τέκνα φύεται γονεῦσιν ἐν φιλοσοφίᾳ. Λακύδης γοῦν ὁ Ἀρκεσιλάου γνώριμος ἀπʼ εἰσαγγελίας φεύγοντι δίκην Κηφισοκράτει μετὰ τῶν ἄλλων φίλων παρειστήκει. τοῦ δὲ· κατηγόρου τὸν δακτύλιον αἰτήσαντος, ὁ μὲν ἡσυχῇ παρακαθῆκεν, αἰσθόμενος δʼ ὁ Λακύδης ἐπέβη τῷ ποδὶ καὶ ἐπέκρυψεν ἦν γὰρ ὁ ἔλεγχος ἐν ἐκείνῳ. μετὰ δὲ τὴν ἀπόφασιν τοῦ Κηφισοκράτους δεξιουμένου τοὺς δικαστὰς εἷς τις ὡς ἔοικεν ἑωρακὼς τὸ γενόμενον ἐκέλευσε Λακύδῃ χάριν ἔχειν καὶ τὸ πρᾶγμα διηγήσατο, τοῦ Λακύδου πρὸς μηδένα φράσαντος οὕτως οἶμαι καὶ τοὺς θεοὺς εὐεργετεῖν τὰ πολλὰ λανθάνοντας, αὐτῷ τῷ χαρίζεσθαι καὶ εὖ ποιεῖν φύσιν ἔχοντας ἥδεσθαι. τὸ δὲ τοῦ κόλακος ἔργον οὐδὲν ἔχει δίκαιον οὐδʼ ἀληθινὸν οὐδʼ ἁπλοῦν οὐδʼ ἐλευθέριον, ἀλλʼ ἱδρῶτα καὶ κραυγὴν διαδρομὴν καὶ σύντασιν προσώπου ποιοῦσαν ἔμφασιν καὶ δόκησιν ἐπιπόνου χρείας καὶ κατεσπευσμένης, ὥσπερ ζωγράφημα περίεργον ἀναιδέσι φαρμάκοις καὶ κεκλασμέναις στολίσι καὶ ῥυτίσι καὶ γωνίαις ἐναργείας φαντασίαν ἐπαγόμενον. ἔστι δὲ καὶ διηγούμενος ἐπαχθὴς ὡς ἔπραξε πλάνας τινὰς ἐπʼ αὐτῷ καὶ φροντίδας, εἶτʼ ἀπεχθείας πρὸς ἑτέρους εἶτα πράγματα μυρία καὶ μεγάλα πάθη διεξιών, ὥστʼ εἰπεῖν οὐκ ἄξια ταῦτʼ ἐκείνων· πᾶσα μὲν γὰρ ὀνειδιζομένη χάρις ἐπαχθὴς καὶ ἄχαρις καὶ οὐκ ἀνεκτή, ταῖς δὲ τῶν κολάκων οὐχ ὕστερον ἀλλὰ πραττομέναις ἔνεστιν εὐθὺς τὸ ἐπονείδιστον καὶ δυσωποῦν. ὁ δὲ φίλος, ἂν εἰπεῖν δεήσῃ τὸ πρᾶγμα; μετρίως ἀπήγγειλε, περὶ αὑτοῦ δʼ εἶπεν οὐδέν. δὴ καὶ Λακεδαιμόνιοι Σμυρναίοις δεομένοις σῖτον πέμψαντες, ὡς ἐθαύμαζον ἐκεῖνοι τὴν χάριν, οὐδὲν ἔφασαν μέγα μίαν γὰρ ἡμέραν ψηφισάμενοι τὸ ἄριστον ἀφελεῖν ἑαυτῶν καὶ τῶν ὑποζυγίων ταῦτʼ ἠθροίσαμεν. οὐ γὰρ μόνον ἐλευθέριος ἡ τοιαύτη χάρις, ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῖς λαμβάνουσιν ἡδίων, ὅτι τοὺς ὠφελοῦντας οὐ μεγάλα βλάπτεσθαι νομίζουσιν.

[¶2] 23. It is not therefore by the flatterer’s offensiveness in his ministrations, or by his facile way of offering his services, that one can best learn to know his nature, but a better distinction may be found in the nature of his service, whether it is honourable or dishonourable, and whether its purpose is to give pleasure or help. For a friend will not, as Gorgias was wont to declare, expect his friend to support him in honest projects, and yet himself serve the other in many also that are dishonest, for he “In virtue joins, and not in viciousness.” Much rather, therefore, will he try to turn his friend aside from what is unbecoming; and if he cannot persuade him, then he may well retort with Phocion’s remark to Antipater: “You cannot use me as both friend and flatterer,” that is as a friend and not a friend. For one should assist a friend in doing, not in misdoing, in advising, not in ill-devising, in supporting his conclusions, not his delusions, in sharing his mishaps, not his misdeeds. No, we would choose not even to have knowledge of our friends’ dishonourable actions; how then can we possibly choose to cooperate in them and to share in the unseemly conduct? As the Lacedaemonians, defeated in battle by Antipater, in making terms of peace bade him prescribe any penalty he would, but nothing dishonourable, so a friend, if need befall for his services that involves expense, danger, or labour, is foremost in insisting, without excuse or hesitation, that he be called upon and that he do his share, but wherever disgrace goes with it, he is also foremost in begging to be left alone and spared from participation. But flattery, on the contrary, in arduous and dangerous ministrations fails you, and if you test it by sounding, it does not ring clear, but has an ignoble tone jangling with some excuse; but for any shameful, mean, or disreputable service you may use the flatterer as you will, and treat him as the dirt beneath your feet; and he thinks it nothing dreadful or insulting. You must have noticed the ape. He cannot guard the house like the dog, nor carry a load like the horse, nor plough the land like oxen; and so he has to bear abuse and scurrility, and endure practical jokes, thus submitting to be made an instrument of laughter. So also with the flatterer: unable to help another with words or money or to back him in a quarrel, and unequal to anything laborious or serious, yet he makes no excuses when it comes to underhand actions, he is a faithful helper in a love-affair, he knows exactly the price to be paid for a prostitute, he is not careless in checking up the charge for a wine supper, nor slow in making arrangements for dinners, he tries to be in the good graces of mistresses; but if bidden to be impudent toward a wife’s relatives or to help in hustling a wife out of doors he is relentless and unabashed. As a result the man is not hard to detect in this way, either; for if he is told to do any disreputable and dishonourable thing that you will, he is ready to be prodigal of himself in trying to gratify the man who tells him to do it.

> Greek: 23. οὐ τοίνυν μάλιστα τῷ περὶ τὰς ὑπουργίας ἐπαχθεῖ τοῦ κόλακος οὐδὲ τῇ περὶ τὰς ἐπαγγελίας εὐχερείᾳ γνοίη τις ἂν τὴν φύσιν, ἀλλὰ μᾶλλον ἐν τῷ καλῷ τῆς χρείας ἢ αἰσχρῷ καὶ διαφέροντι πρὸς ἡδονὴν ἢ ὠφέλειαν. ὁ μὲν γὰρ φίλος οὐχ, ὥσπερ ἀπεφαίνετο Γοργίας, αὑτῷ μὲν ἀξιώσει τὰ δίκαια τὸν φίλον ὑπουργεῖν, ἐκείνῳ δʼ αὐτὸς ὑπηρετήσει πολλὰ καὶ τῶν μὴ δικαίων·
συσσωφρονεῖν γάρ, οὐχὶ συννοσεῖν ἔφυ.
μᾶλλον οὖν κἀκεῖνον ἀποτρέψει τῶν μὴ προσηκόντων· ἂν δὲ μὴ πείθῃ, καλὸν τὸ Φωκίωνος πρὸς Ἀντίπατρον, οὐ δύνασαί μοι καὶ φίλῳ χρῆσθαι καὶ κόλακι, τουτέστι καὶ φίλῳ καὶ μὴ φίλῳ. συνεργεῖν γὰρ δεῖ τῷ φίλῳ μὴ συμπανουργεῖν, καὶ συμβουλεύειν μὴ συνεπιβουλεύειν, καὶ συμμαρτυρεῖν μὴ συνεξαπατᾶν, καὶ συνατυχεῖν νὴ Δία μὴ συναδικεῖν. οὐδὲ γὰρ· τὸ συνειδέναι τοῖς φίλοις τὰ αἰσχρά, πόθεν γε· δὴ τὸ συμπράττειν καὶ συνασχημονεῖν αἱρετόν ἐστιν; ὥσπερ οὖν Λακεδαιμόνιοι μάχῃ κρατηθέντες ὑπʼ Ἀντιπάτρου καὶ ποιούμενοι διαλύσεις ἠξίουν ὅ τι βούλεται ζημιῶδες, αἰσχρὸν δὲ μηδὲν ἐπιτάττειν αὐτοῖς, οὕτως ὁ φίλος, ἄν τις ἢ δαπάνην ἢ κίνδυνον ἢ πόνον ἔχουσα χρεία καταλαμβάνῃ, πρῶτος ἀξιῶν καλεῖσθαι καὶ μετέχειν ἀπροφασίστως καὶ προθύμως, ὅπου δὲ πρόσεστιν αἰσχύνη, μόνον ἐᾶν καὶ φείδεσθαι παραιτούμενος. ἀλλʼ ἥ γε κολακεία τοὐναντίον ἐν μὲν ταῖς ἐπιπόνοις καὶ κινδυνώδεσιν ὑπουργίαις ἀπαγορεύει, κἂν διαπειρώμενος κρούσῃς, σαθρὸν ἔκ τινος προφάσεως ὑπηχεῖ καὶ ἀγεννές· ἐν δὲ ταῖς αἰσχραῖς καὶ ταπειναῖς καὶ ἀδόξοις διακονίαις ἀπόχρησαι πάτησον, οὐδὲν ἡγεῖται δεινὸν οὐδʼ ὑβριστικόν. ὁρᾷς τὸν πίθηκον; οὐ δύναται τὴν οἰκίαν φυλάττειν ὡς ὁ κύων, οὐδὲ βαστάζειν ὡς ὁ ἵππος, οὐδʼ ἀροῦν τὴν γῆν ὡς οἱ βόες· ὕβριν οὖν φέρει καὶ βωμολοχίαν καὶ παιδιὰς ἀνέχεται, γέλωτος ὄργανον ἐμπαρέχων ἑαυτόν. οὕτω δὴ καὶ ὁ κόλαξ οὐ συνειπεῖν οὐ συνεισενεγκεῖν οὐ συναγωνίσασθαι δυνάμενος, πόνου τε καὶ σπουδῆς ἁπάσης ἀπολειπόμενος, ἐν ταῖς ὑπὸ μάλης πράξεσιν ἀπροφάσιστός ἐστι, καὶ πιστὸς ἔρωτος ὑπηρέτης καὶ περὶ λύσιν πόρνης ἀκριβὴς καὶ πότου δαπάνης ἐκκαθῆραι λογισμὸν οὐκ ἀμελής, οὐδὲ ῥᾴθυμος ἐν δείπνων παρασκευαῖς, θεραπευτικὸς δὲ παλλακίδων, πρὸς δὲ κηδεστὰς ἀποθρασύνεσθαι κελευσθεὶς καὶ συνεκβαλεῖν γαμετὴν ἄτεγκτος καὶ ἀδυσώπητος. ὥστε μηδὲ ταύτῃ δυσφώρατον εἶναι τὸν ἄνδρα· προσταττόμενος γὰρ ὅ τι βούλει τῶν ἀδόξων καὶ μὴ καλῶν ἕτοιμος ἀφειδεῖν ἑαυτοῦ, τῷ προστάττοντι χαριζόμενος.

[¶3] 24. The great difference between flatterer and friend may be most clearly perceived by his disposition towards one’s other friends. For a friend finds it most pleasant to love and be loved along with many others, and he is always constant in his endeavours that his friend shall have many friends and be much honoured; believing that “friends own everything in common” he thinks that no possession ought to be held so much in common as friends. But the flatterer is false, spurious, and debased, inasmuch as he fully understands that he is committing a crime against friendship, which in his hands becomes a counterfeit coin as it were. While he is by nature jealous, yet he employs his jealousy against his own kind, striving constantly to outdo them in scurrility and idle gossip, but he stands in awesome dread of his betters, not indeed because he is “Trudging afoot beside a Lydian chariot,” but because, as Simonides puts it, he “Hath not even lead to show ’Gainst gold refined and unalloyed.” Whenever, then, the flatterer, who is but a light and deceptive plated-ware, is examined and closely compared with genuine and solid-wrought friendship, he does not stand the test, but he is exposed, and so he does the same thing as the man who had painted a wretched picture of some cocks. For the painter bade his servant scare all real cocks as far away as possible from the canvas; and so the flatterer scares all real friends away, and does not allow them to come near; or if he cannot accomplish this, he openly cringes to them, pays them attentions, and makes a great show of respect for them as for superiors, but secretly he is suggesting and spreading some sort of calumny; and when secret talk has caused an irritating sore, even though he be not entirely successful at the outset, yet he remembers and observes the precept of Medius. This Medius was, if I may call him so, leader and skilled master of the choir of flatterers that danced attendance on Alexander, and were banded together against all good men. Now he urged them not to be afraid to assail and sting with their calumnies, pointing out that, even if the man who is stung succeeds in healing the wound, the scar of the calumny will still remain. In fact it was by such scars, or rather such gangrenes and cancers, that Alexander was consumed so that he destroyed Callisthenes, Parmenio, and Philotas, and put himself without reserve into the hands of men like Hagno, Bagoas, Agesias, and Demetrius, to be brought low, by submitting to be worshipped, bedecked and fantastically tricked out by them, after the manner of a barbaric idol. So great is the power wielded by giving gratification, and it is greatest, apparently, with those who seem to be the greatest personages. For self-conceit regarding the noblest qualities, coupled with the wish to have them, gives both confidence and boldness to the flatterer. It is true that lofty places are difficult of approach and access for those who propose to capture them, but loftiness or conceit, in a mind which lacks sense because of the favours of Fortune or Nature, lies at the mercy of the insignificant and mean.

> Greek: 24. οὐχ ἥκιστα δʼ ἄν τις αὐτὸν ἐν τῇ πρὸς τοὺς ἄλλους φίλους διαθέσει καταμάθοι πολὺ τοῦ φίλου διαφέροντα. τῷ μὲν γὰρ ἥδιστόν ἐστι μετὰ πολλῶν φιλεῖν καὶ φιλεῖσθαι, καὶ τοῦτο πράττων ἀεὶ διατελεῖ περὶ τὸν φίλον ὅπως πολύφιλος καὶ πολυτίμητος ἔσται· κοινὰ γὰρ τὰ φίλων ἡγούμενος οὐδὲν οὕτως οἴεται δεῖν κοινὸν ὡς τοὺς φίλους ὑπάρχειν· ὁ δὲ ψευδὴς καὶ νόθος καὶ ὑπόχαλκος ὤν, ἅτε δὴ μάλιστα γιγνώσκων ἑαυτὸν ἀδικοῦντα τὴν φιλίαν ὥσπερ νόμισμα παράσημον ὑπʼ αὐτοῦ γενομένην, ἔστι μὲν καὶ φύσει φθονερός, ἀλλὰ τῷ φθόνῳ χρῆται πρὸς τοὺς ὁμοίους, διαμιλλώμενος ὑπερβαλέσθαι βωμολοχίᾳ καὶ σπερμολογίᾳ, τὸν δὲ κρείττονα τρέμει καὶ δέδοικεν, οὐ μὰ Δία παρὰ Λύδιον ἅρμα πεζὸς οἰχνεύων, ἀλλὰ παρὰ χρυσὸν ἑφθόν, ὥς φησι Σιμωνίδης, ἀκήρατον οὐδὲ μόλυβδον ἔχων. ὅταν οὖν ἐλαφρὸς ὢν καὶ ἐπίτηκτος καὶ ἀπατηλὸς ἐγγύθεν ἀντεξετάζηται πρὸς ἀληθινὴν καὶ ἐμβριθῆ φιλίαν καὶ σφυρήλατον, οὐκ ἀναφέρων ἀλλʼ ἐξελεγχόμενος ταὐτὸ ποιεῖ τῷ ζωγραφήσαντι τοὺς ἀλεκτρυόνας ἀθλίως. ἐκεῖνός τε γὰρ ἐκέλευε τὸν παῖδα τοὺς ἀληθινοὺς ἀλεκτρυόνας ἀποσοβεῖν ἀπωτάτω τοῦ πίνακος, οὗτός τε τοὺς ἀληθινοὺς ἐξ ἀποσοβεῖ φίλους καὶ οὐκ ἐᾷ πλησιάζειν ἂν δὲ μὴ δύνηται, φανερῶς, μὲν ὑποσαίνει καὶ περιέπει καί τέθηπεν ὡς ἀμείνονας, λάθρᾳ δʼ ὑφίησί τινας καὶ 25ὑποσπείρει διαβολάς. κρυφίου δὲ λόγου κνήσαντος ἕλκος, κἂν μὴ παντελῶς εὐθὺς ἐργάσηται, τὸ τοῦ Μηδίου φυλάττει μεμνημένος. ἦν δʼ ὁ Μήδιος τοῦ περὶ τὸν Ἀλέξανδρον χοροῦ τῶν κολάκων οἷον ἔξαρχος καὶ σοφιστὴς κορυφαῖος ἐπὶ τοὺς ἀρίστους συντεταγμένος. ἐκέλευεν οὖν θαρροῦντας ἅπτεσθαι καὶ δάκνειν, ταῖς διαβολαῖς, διδάσκων ὅτι, κἂν θεραπεύσῃ τὸ ἕλκος ὁ δεδηγμένος, ἡ οὐλὴ μενεῖ τῆς διαβολῆς. ταύταις μέντοι ταῖς οὐλαῖς, μᾶλλον δὲ γαγγραίναις καὶ καρκινώμασι διαβρωθεὶς Ἀλέξανδρος ἀπώλεσε καὶ Καλλισθένη καὶ Παρμενίωνα καὶ Φιλώταν· Ἅγνωσι δὲ καὶ Βαγώαις καὶ Ἀγησίαις καὶ Δημητρίοις ἀφειδῶς ἐνέδωκεν ἑαυτὸν ὑποσκελίζεσθαι, προσκυνούμενον καὶ καταστολιζόμενον καὶ ἀναπλαττόμενον ὑπʼ αὐτῶν ὥσπερ ἄγαλμα βαρβαρικόν. οὕτω μεγάλην ἔχει τὸ πρὸς χάριν δύναμιν, καὶ μεγίστην ὡς ἔοικεν ἐν τοῖς μεγίστοις εἶναι δοκοῦσι τὸ γὰρ οἴεσθαι τὰ κάλλιστα μετὰ τοῦ βούλεσθαι πίστιν ἅμα τῷ κόλακι καὶ θάρσος δίδωσι. τῶν μὲν γὰρ τόπων τὰ ὑψηλὰ δυσπρόσοδα καὶ δυσέφικτα γίγνεται τοῖς ἐπιβουλεύουσι, τὸ δʼ ἐν ψυχῇ νοῦν οὐκ ἐχούσῃ διʼ εὐτυχίαν ἢ διʼ εὐφυΐαν ὕψος καὶ φρόνημα τοῖς μικροῖς καὶ ταπεινοῖς μάλιστα βάσιμόν. ἐστιν.

[¶4] 25. Wherefore I now urge, as I did at the beginning of this treatise, that we eradicate from ourselves self-love and conceit. For these, by flattering us beforehand, render us less resistant to flatterers from without, since we are quite ready to receive them. But if, in obedience to the god, we learn that the precept, “Know thyself,” is invaluable to each of us, and if at the same time we carefully review our own nature and upbringing and education, how in countless ways they fall short of true excellence, and have inseparably connected with them many a sad and heedless fault of word, deed, and feeling, we shall not very readily let the flatterers walk over us. Now Alexander said that two things moved him to discredit those who proclaimed him a god, his sleeping and his passion for women, evidently feeling that in these matters he revealed the more ignoble and susceptible side of himself; and so in our own case, if we are careful to observe many and many a fault of our own, shameful and grievous, both of omission and commission, we shall constantly be detecting our own need, not of a friend to commend and extol us, but of a friend to take us to task, to be frank with us, and indeed to blame us when our conduct is bad. For there are but few among many who have the courage to show frankness rather than favour to their friends. And again, among those few you cannot easily find men who know how to do this, but rather you shall find those who think that if they abuse and find fault they use frankness. Yet frankness, like any other medicine, if it be not applied at the proper time, does but cause useless suffering and disturbance, and it accomplishes, one may say, painfully what flattery accomplishes pleasantly. For people are injured, not only by untimely praise, but by untimely blame as well; and it is this especially that delivers them over, broadside on, to the flatterers, an easy prey, since like water they glide away from the steeps that repel toward the valleys that softly invite. Frankness, therefore, should be combined with good manners, and there should be reason in it to take away its excess and intensity, which may be compared to that of light, so that any who are exposed to it shall not, for being disturbed and distressed by those who find fault with everything and accuse every one, take refuge in the shadow of the flatterer, and turn away towards what does not cause pain. Now every form of vice, my dear Philopappus, is to be avoided through virtue, and not through the vice that is its antithesis, as some people, for instance, think to escape bashfulness through shamelessness, rusticity through scurrility, and to make their manner to be farthest removed from cowardice and softness if they can make themselves seem nearest to impudence and boldness. Others again, to prove themselves free from superstition, adopt atheism, and play the knave to show that they are not fools, and thus distort their character, like a piece of wood, from one form of crookedness to its opposite, because they do not know how to straighten it. But the most shameful way of disavowing the name of flatterer is to cause pain without profit; and it shows an utterly rude and tactless disregard of goodwill in one’s relations with friends to resort to being disagreeable and harsh in order to avoid abasement and servility in friendship. Such a person is like a freedman of the comic stage, who thinks that abuse is a fair use of equal speech. Since, therefore, it is a shameful thing to fall into flattery in aiming to please, and a shameful thing also, in trying to avoid flattery, to destroy the friendly thoughtfulness for another by immoderate liberty of speech, we ought to keep ourselves from both the one and the other extreme, and in frankness, as in anything else, achieve the right from the mean. The subject itself requiring, as it does, consequent elaboration, seems to determine that this be the final complement of our work.

> Greek: 25. ὅθεν ἀρχόμενοί τε τοῦ λόγου παρεκελευσάμεθα καὶ νῦν παρακελευόμεθα τὸ φίλαυτον ἐκκόπτειν ἑαυτῶν καὶ τὴν οἴησιν· αὕτη γὰρ ἡμᾶς προκολακεύουσα μαλακωτέρους ποιεῖ τοῖς θυραίοις κόλαξιν, ὡς ἑτοίμους ὄντας. ἂν δὲ πειθόμενοι τῷ θεῷ καὶ τὸ γνῶθι σαυτὸν ὡς ἑκάστῳ τοῦ παντὸς ἄξιόν ἐστι μαθόντες ἅμα καὶ φύσιν καὶ τροφὴν καὶ παίδευσιν ἑαυτῶν ἀναθεωρῶμεν ἐλλείμματα μυρία τοῦ καλοῦ καὶ πολὺ τὸ φαύλως καὶ εἰκῇ συμμεμιγμένον ἔχουσαν ἐν πράξεσιν ἐν λόγοις ἐν πάθεσιν, οὐ πάνυ ῥᾳδίως ἐμπεριπατεῖν τοῖς κόλαξιν ἑαυτοὺς παρέξομεν. Ἀλέξανδρος μὲν γὰρ ἀπιστεῖν ἔφη τοῖς θεὸν αὐτὸν ἀναγορεύουσιν ἐν τῷ καθεύδειν μάλιστα καὶ ἀφροδισιάζειν, ὡς ἀγεννέστερος περὶ ταῦτα καὶ παθητικώτερος αὑτοῦ γιγνόμενος· ἡμεῖς δὲ πολλὰ πολλαχοῦ τῶν ἰδίων αἰσχρὰ καὶ λυπηρὰ καὶ ἀτελῆ καὶ ἡμαρτημένα καθορῶντες ἀεὶ φωράσομεν ἑαυτοὺς οὐκ ἐπαινοῦντος φίλου καὶ κατευλογοῦντος δεομένους, ἀλλʼ ἐλέγχοντος καὶ παρρησιαζομένου καὶ ψέγοντος ἡμᾶς νὴ Δία κακῶς πράττοντας. ὀλίγοι μὲν γὰρ ἐκ πολλῶν εἰσιν οἱ παρρησιάζεσθαι μᾶλλον ἢ χαρίζεσθαι τοῖς φίλοις τολμῶντες· ἐν δὲ τοῖς ὀλίγοις αὖθις οὐ ῥᾳδίως ἂν εὕροις ἐπισταμένους τοῦτο ποιεῖν, ἀλλʼ οἰομένους, ἂν λοιδορῶσι καὶ ψέγωσι, παρρησίᾳ χρῆσθαι. καίτοι καθάπερ ἄλλῳ τινὶ φαρμάκῳ, καὶ τῷ παρρησιάζεσθαι μὴ τυχόντι καιροῦ τὸ λυπεῖν ἀχρήστως καὶ ταράττειν περίεστι καὶ ποιεῖν τρόπον τινὰ μετʼ ἀλγηδόνος ὃ ποιεῖ μεθʼ ἡδονῆς τὸ κολακεύειν. βλάπτονται γὰρ οὐκ ἐπαινούμενοι μόνον ἀκαίρως ἀλλὰ καὶ ψεγόμενοι· καὶ τοῦτο μάλιστα τοῖς κόλαξιν εὐλήπτους καὶ πλαγίους παραδίδωσιν, ἀπὸ τῶν σφόδρα προσάντων καὶ ἀντιτύπων ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τὰ κοῖλα καὶ μαλακὰ δίκην ὕδατος ἀπολισθάνοντας. διὸ δεῖ τὴν παρρησίαν ἤθει κεκρᾶσθαι καὶ λόγον ἔχειν ἀφαιροῦντα τὸ ἄγαν καὶ τὸ ἄκρατον αὐτῆς ὥσπερ φωτός, ἵνα μὴ ταραττόμενοι μηδʼ ἀλγοῦντες ὑπὸ τῶν ἅπαντα μεμφομένων καὶ πᾶσιν ἐγκαλούντων καταφεύγωσιν εἰς τὴν τοῦ κόλακος σκιάν, καὶ πρὸς τὸ μὴ λυποῦν ἀποστρέφωνται. πᾶσαν μὲν γάρ, ὦ Φιλόπαππε, κακίαν φευκτέον ἐστὶ διʼ ἀρετῆς, οὐχὶ διὰ τῆς ἐναντίας κακίας, ὥσπερ ἔνιοι δοκοῦσιν αἰσχυντηλίαν μὲν ἀναισχυντίᾳ φεύγειν ἀγροικίαν δὲ βωμολοχίᾳ, δειλίας δὲ καὶ μαλακίας ἀπωτάτω τίθεσθαι τὸν τρόπον ἂν ἔγγιστα φαίνωνται λαμυρίας καὶ θρασύτητος. ἔνιοι δὲ καὶ δεισιδαιμονίας ἀθεότητα καὶ πανουργίαν ἀβελτερίας ἀπολόγημα ποιοῦνται, καθάπερ ξύλον τὸ ἦθος ἐκ καμπῆς εἰς τοὐναντίον ἀπειρίᾳ τοῦ κατορθοῦν διαστρέφοντες αἰσχίστη δὲ κολακείας ἄρνησις ἀνωφελῶς λυπηρὸν εἶναι, καὶ κομιδῇ τινος ἀμούσου καὶ ἀτέχνου πρὸς εὔνοιαν ὁμιλίας ἀηδίᾳ καὶ χαλεπότητι φεύγειν τὸ ἀγεννὲς ἐν φιλίᾳ καὶ ταπεινόν, ὥσπερ ἀπελεύθερον ἐν κωμῳδίᾳ τὴν κατηγορίαν ἰσηγορίας ἀπόλαυσιν ἡγούμενον. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν αἰσχρὸν μέν ἐστι κολακείᾳ περιπεσεῖν διώκοντα τὸ πρὸς χάριν, αἰσχρὸν δὲ φεύγοντα κολακείαν παρρησίας ἀμετρίᾳ διαφθεῖραι τὸ φιλικὸν καὶ κηδεμονικόν, δεῖ δὲ μηδέτερον παθεῖν ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ἄλλῳ τινὶ καὶ τῇ παρρησίᾳ τὸ καλὸν ἐκ τοῦ μετρίου λαβεῖν, αὐτὸς ἔοικεν ὁ λόγος ὁ τὸ ἐφεξῆς ἀπαιτῶν ἐπιτιθέναι τὴν κορωνίδα τῷ συγγράμματι.

[¶5] 26. Seeing, therefore, that there are certain fatal faults attending upon frankness, let us in the first place divest it of all self-regard by exercising all vigilance lest we seem to have some private reason for our reproaches, such as a personal wrong or grievance. For people are wont to think that anger, not goodwill, is the motive of a man who speaks on his own behalf, and that this is not admonition but fault-finding. For frankness is friendly and noble, but fault-finding is selfish and mean. For this reason those who speak frankly are respected and admired, while fault-finders meet with recrimination and contempt. Agamemnon, for instance, has no patience with Achilles, who appears to have spoken with moderate frankness only, but when Odysseus assails him bitterly and says, “Hopeless and helpless! Would you had to rule some other Paltry band, not this,” he yields and puts up with it, quieted by the friendly concern and good sense of the other’s words. For Odysseus, who had no ground for anger personally, spoke boldly to him in behalf of Greece, while Achilles seemed to be incensed chiefly on his own account. And it is true that Achilles himself, although he was “not a man of sweet or gentle temper,” but a “Terrible man, who is given to blaming even the blameless,” submitted himself to Patroclus in silence, although Patroclus often launched upon him strictures like this: “Ruthless man, your sire was not the knightly Peleus, Nor was Thetis your mother; no, the grey-gleaming ocean Bore you, and high rugged rocks, you are so hard-hearted.” The orator Hypereides used to tell the Athenians that it was only right that they consider, not merely whether he was bitter, but whether he was so upon no cause; and in the same way, the admonition of a thing to be treated with respect and reverence, not to be faced out. And if one also makes it clear that in speaking frankly he is leaving out of all account or consideration his friend’s lapses toward himself, but taking him to task for certain other shortcomings, and that it is in the interest of other persons that he visits him with stinging reproof so unsparingly, the force of such frankness is irresistible, and the generous attitude of the speaker serves only to intensify the bitterness and severity of his admonition. Therefore, while it has been well said that when we are angry or at variance with friends, we ought then most of all to be doing or planning what will be for their advantage or interest, yet it is no less material in friendship, when we feel that we ourselves are slighted and neglected, to speak frankly in behalf of others who are likewise being neglected, and to remind our friends of them. For example, Plato, in the midst of suspicions and disagreements with Dionysius, asked him for an appointment for an interview, and Dionysius granted it, supposing that Plato had some long tale of fault-finding to rehearse on his own account. But Plato talked with him somewhat after this fashion: “If you should learn, Dionysius, that some ill-disposed man had made the voyage to Sicily, cherishing the desire to do you harm, but unable to find an opportunity, would you allow him to sail away, and should you let him withdraw unscathed?” “Far from it, Plato,” said Dionysius, “for not only the acts of enemies but their intentions as well must be detested and punished.” “If now,” said Plato, “somebody has come hither out of goodwill to you, wishing to be the author of some good to you, but you give him no opportunity, is it proper to let such a man go without showing him any gratitude or attention?” When Dionysius asked who the man was, “Aeschines,” he said, “in character as fair as any one of Socrates’ companions, and potent in speech to improve those with whom he may associate; but after sailing hither over a vast expanse of the sea in order to discuss philosophy with you, he finds himself neglected.” These words so moved Dionysius, that he straightway embraced Plato affectionately, marvelling at his kindliness and high-mindedness, and afterwards he paid to Aeschines honourable and distinguished attentions.

> Greek: 26. ὥσπερ οὖν κῆράς τινας ἐπούσας τῇ παρρησίᾳ πλείονας ὁρῶντες πρῶτον ἀφαιρῶμεν αὐτῆς τὴν φιλαυτίαν, εὖ μάλα φυλαττόμενοι μὴ διά τι τῶν ἰδίων οἷον ἀδικούμενοι καὶ ἀλγοῦντες ἐξονειδίζειν δοκῶμεν. οὔτε γὰρ ὑπʼ εὐνοίας ἀλλʼ ὑπʼ ὀργῆς οἴονται γίγνεσθαι τὸν ὑπὲρ αὐτοῦ τοῦ λέγοντος γιγνόμενον λόγον, οὔτε νουθεσίαν ἀλλὰ μέμψιν εἶναι. φιλικὸν γὰρ ἡ παρρησία καὶ σεμνόν, ἡ δὲ μέμψις καὶ φίλαυτον καὶ μικρολόγον. ὅθεν αἰδοῦνται τοὺς παρρησιαζομένους καὶ θαυμάζουσι, τοῖς δὲ μεμφομένοις ἀντεγκαλοῦσι καὶ καταφρονοῦσιν. ὥσπερ ὁ Ἀγαμέμνων τὸν Ἀχιλλέα παρρησιάζεσθαι δοκοῦντα μετρίως οὐχ ὑπέμεινε, τοῦ δʼ Ὀδυσσέως καθαπτομένου πικρῶς καὶ λέγοντος
οὐλόμενʼ, αἴθʼ ὤφελλες ἀεικελίου στρατοῦ ἄλλου
σημαίνειν
εἴκει καὶ καρτερεῖ, τῷ κηδεμονικῷ τοῦ λόγου καὶ νοῦν ἔχοντι συστελλόμενος. οὗτος μὲν γὰρ οὐκ ἔχων ἰδίας πρόφασιν ὀργῆς ἐπαρρησιάζετο πρὸς αὐτὸν ὑπὲρ τῆς Ἑλλάδος, ἐκεῖνος δὲ διʼ αὑτὸν ἐδόκει μάλιστα χαλεπαίνειν. αὐτός γε μὴν ὁ Ἀχιλλεύς, καίπερ οὐ γλυκύθυμος ὢν οὐδʼ ἀγανόφρων ἀλλὰ
δεινὸς ἀνήρ, οἷος καὶ ἀναίτιον αἰτιάασθαι
παρεῖχε τῷ Πατρόκλῳ σιωπῇ καταφέρειν αὐτοῦ πολλὰ τοιαῦτα
νηλεές, οὐκ ἄρα σοί γε πατὴρ ἦν ἱππότα Πηλεὺς
οὐδὲ Θέτις μήτηρ· γλαυκὴ δέ σε τίκτε θάλασσα
πέτραι τʼ ἠλίβατοι, ὅτι τοι νόος ἐστὶν ἀπηνής
ὥσπερ γὰρ Ὑπερείδης ὁ ῥήτωρ ἠξίου σκοπεῖν Ἀθηναίους μὴ μόνον εἰ πικρός ἐστιν, ἀλλʼ εἰ προῖκα πικρός, οὕτως ἡ τοῦ φίλου νουθεσία καθαρεύουσα παντὸς ἰδίου πάθους αἰδεστόν ἐστι καὶ σεμνὸν καὶ ἀναντίβλεπτον. ἐὰν δὲ δὴ καὶ φανερός τις ἐν τῷ παρρησιάζεσθαι τὰ μὲν εἰς αὑτὸν ἁμαρτήματα τοῦ φίλου κομιδῇ προϊέμενος καὶ ἀπολείπων, ἄλλας δέ τινας αὐτοῦ πλημμελείας ἐλέγχων καὶ δάκνων ἐφʼ ἑτέροις καὶ μὴ φειδόμενος, ἄμαχος ὁ τόνος τῆς παρρησίας οὗτός ἐστι καὶ τῇ γλυκύτητι τοῦ νουθετοῦντος ἐπιτείνων τὸ πικρὸν καὶ αὐστηρὸν τῆς νουθεσίας. ὅθεν εὖ μὲν εἴρηται τὸ δεῖν ἐν ταῖς ὀργαῖς καὶ ταῖς διαφοραῖς ταῖς πρὸς τοὺς φίλους μάλιστα πράττειν τι καὶ σκοπεῖν τῶν ἐκείνοις συμφερόντων ἢ πρεπόντων, οὐχ ἧττον δὲ τούτου φιλικόν ἐστι τὸ παρορᾶσθαι καὶ ἀμελεῖσθαι δοκοῦντας αὐτοὺς ὑπὲρ ἄλλων ἀμελουμένων παρρησιάζεσθαι καὶ ὑπομιμνῄσκειν. ὡς Πλάτων ἐν ταῖς πρὸς Διονύσιον ὑποψίαις καὶ διαφοραῖς ᾐτήσατο καιρὸν ἐντυχίας· εἶθʼ ὁ μὲν ἔδωκεν, οἰόμενος ὑπὲρ αὑτοῦ τι ἔχειν μέμψασθαι τὸν Πλάτωνα καὶ διελθεῖν, ὁ δὲ Πλάτων οὕτω πως διελέχθη πρὸς αὐτόν. εἴ τινα αἴσθοιο, Διονύσιε, δυσμενῆ πεπλευκότα εἰς Σικελίαν, κακὸν τί σε ποιῆσαι βουλόμενον οὐκ ἔχοντα δὲ καιρόν, ἆρʼ ἂν ἐάσειας αὐτὸν ἐκπλεῦσαι καὶ περιίδοις ἀθῷον ἀπαλλαγέντα; πολλοῦ δέω εἶπεν ὁ Διονύσιος ὦ Πλάτων δεῖ γὰρ οὐ τὰ ἔργα τῶν ἐχθρῶν μόνον ἀλλὰ καὶ τὴν προαίρεσιν μισεῖν καὶ κολάζειν εἰ τοίνυν εἶπεν ὁ Πλάτων ἐπʼ εὐνοίᾳ τις ἀφιγμένος τῇ σῇ δεῦρο βούλεται μὲν ἀγαθοῦ τινος αἴτιός σοι γενέσθαι, σὺ δὲ καιρὸν οὐ παρέχεις, ἄξιόν ἐστι τοῦτον ἀχαρίστως προέσθαι καὶ ὀλιγώρως; ἐρωτήσαντος δὲ τοῦ Διονυσίου τίς ἐστιν οὗτος, Αἰσχίνης εἶπεν ἀνὴρ τῷ τε ἤθει παρʼ ὁντινοῦν τῶν Σωκράτους ἑταίρων ἐπιεικὴς καὶ τῷ λόγῳ δυνατὸς ἐπανορθοῦν οἷς συνείη· πλεύσας δὲ δεῦρο πολλὴν θάλατταν, ὡς συγγένοιτό σοι διὰ φιλοσοφίας, ἠμέληται ταῦθʼ οὕτως ἐκίνησε τὸν Διονύσιον, ὥστε τὰς μὲν χεῖρας τῷ Πλάτωνι εὐθὺς περιβαλεῖν καὶ κατασπάζεσθαι, τὴν εὐμένειαν καὶ τὴν μεγαλοφροσύνην ἀγάμενον, τοῦ δʼ Αἰσχίνου καλῶς καὶ μεγαλοπρεπῶς ἐπιμεληθῆναι.

[¶6] 27. In the second place, then, let us purge away, as it were, and eliminate from our frankness all arrogance, ridicule, scoffing, and scurrility, which are the unwholesome seasoning of free speech. Just as a certain orderliness and neatness should pervade the work of a surgeon when he performs an operation, but his hand should forbear all dancing and reckless motions, all flourishes and superfluity of gesticulation, so frankness has plenty of room for tact and urbanity, if such graciousness does not impair the high office of frankness; but when effrontery and offensiveness and arrogance are coupled with it, they spoil and ruin it completely. There was point, therefore, and polish in the retort with which the harper stopped Philip’s mouth when Philip attempted to argue with him about playing upon his instrument. “God forbid,” said he, “that your Majesty should ever fall so low as to have a better knowledge of these matters than I.” But Epicharmus was not right in his retort upon Hiero, who had made away with some of his intimate friends, and then a few days later invited Epicharmus to dinner. “But the other day,” said Epicharmus, “you held a sacrifice without invitation, of friends!” As badly answered Antiphon, when the question was up for discussion in the presence of Dionysius as to “what is the best kind of bronze,” and he said, “The kind from which they fashioned the statues of Harmodius and Aristogeiton at Athens.” For the offensiveness and bitterness of such retorts profits nothing, their scurrility and frivolity gives no pleasure; but a retort of this kind betokens intemperance of the tongue combined with malice and arrogance, and not without enmity. By employing it men eventually bring about their own destruction, since they are simply “dancing on the edge of the pit.” For Antiphon was put to death by order of Dionysius, and Timagenes lost his place in Caesar’s friendship because, while he never indulged in any high-minded utterance, yet in social gatherings and in discussions, for no serious purpose at all, but “Whatsoever he thought would move the Argives to laughter,” he would on every possible occasion put forward friendship’s cause as an artful excuse for railing. It is true that the comic poets addressed to their audiences many stern rebukes of value to the citizens; but the admixture of drollery and scurrility in them, like a vile dressing with food, made their frankness ineffective and useless, so that there was nothing left for the authors but a name of malice and coarseness, and no profit for the hearers from their words. On other occasions jest and laughter may well enough be employed with friends, but frankness of speech ought to have seriousness and character. And if it concern matters of greater moment, let feeling be so evident, the countenance so serious, and the voice so earnest that the words may claim credence and touch the heart. Failure to observe the proper occasion is in any case exceedingly harmful, but particularly when frankness is concerned it destroys its profitableness. That in the midst of wine and hard drinking we must be on our guard against anything of this sort is plain enough. It is like overcasting fair weather with a storm-cloud, when in the midst of jesting and merrymaking someone starts a discussion that makes others frown and sets the face in rigid lines, as though the topic were meant to combat the god of Relaxation who “relaxes the bond of troubled cares,” as Pindar puts it. This neglect of occasion contains a great danger also. For men’s minds are perilously inclined to anger on account of the wine, and oftentimes heavy drinking takes control of their frankness and creates enmity. And in general, it does not show a noble or stout heart, but unmanliness rather, for one who never displays boldness of speech when he is sober to be bold at table, as is the way of cowardly curs. There is no need, then, to multiply words on this subject.

> Greek: 27. δεύτερον τοίνυν ὥσπερ ἐκκαθαίροντες ὕβριν ἅπασαν καὶ γέλωτα καὶ σκῶμμα καὶ βωμολοχίαν ἡδύσματα πονηρὰ τῆς παρρησίας ἀφαιρῶμεν. ὥσπερ γὰρ ἰατροῦ σάρκα τέμνοντος εὐρυθμίαν τινὰ δεῖ καὶ καθαριότητα τοῖς ἔργοις ἐπιτρέχειν, ὀρχηστικὴν δὲ καὶ παράβολον καὶ περιτρέχουσαν ὑγρότητα καὶ περιεργίαν ἀπεῖναι τῆς χειρός, οὕτως ἡ παρρησία δέχεται τὸ ἐπιδέξιον καὶ τὸ ἀστεῖον, ἂν ἡ χάρις τὴν σεμνότητα σῴζῃ, θρασύτης δὲ καὶ βδελυρία καὶ ὕβρις προσοῦσα πάνυ διαφθείρει καὶ ἀπόλλυσιν. ὅθεν ὁ μὲν ψάλτης οὐκ ἀπιθάνως οὐδʼ ἀμούσως ἐπεστόμισε τὸν Φίλιππον ἐπιχειροῦντα περὶ κρουμάτων διαφέρεσθαι πρὸς αὐτόν, εἰπὼν μὴ γένοιτό σοι οὕτως ὦ βασιλεῦ κακῶς, ἵνʼ ἐμοῦ ταῦτα σὺ βέλτιον εἰδῇς. Ἐπίχαρμος δʼ οὐκ ὀρθῶς, τοῦ Ἱέρωνος ἀνελόντος ἐνίους τῶν συνήθων καὶ μεθʼ ἡμέρας ὀλίγας καλέσαντος ἐπὶ δεῖπνον αὐτόν, ἀλλὰ πρῴην ἔφη θύων τοὺς φίλους οὐκ ἐκάλεσας κακῶς δὲ καὶ Ἀντιφῶν, παρὰ Διονυσίῳ ζητήσεως οὔσης καὶ λόγου ποῖος χαλκὸς ἄριστος, ἐκεῖνος εἶπεν, ἐξ οὗ Ἀθήνησι κατεσκεύασαν τὰς Ἁρμοδίου καὶ Ἀριστογείτονος εἰκόνας. οὔτε γὰρ ὠφελεῖ τούτων τὸ λυπηρὸν καὶ πικρόν, οὔτε τέρπει τὸ βωμολόχον καὶ παιδιῶδες, ἀλλʼ ἔστι κακοηθείᾳ καὶ ὕβρει μεμιγμένης ἀκρασίας μετʼ ἔχθρας τὸ τοιοῦτον εἶδος, ᾧ χρώμενοι προσαπολλύουσιν αὑτούς, τὴν περὶ τὸ φρέαρ ὄρχησιν ἀτεχνῶς ὀρχούμενοι. καὶ γὰρ Ἀντιφῶν ἀπέθανεν ὑπὸ Διονυσίου καὶ Τιμαγένης ἐξέπεσε τῆς Καίσαρος φιλίας, ἐλευθέρᾳ μὲν οὐδέποτε φωνῇ χρησάμενος, ἐν δὲ τοῖς συμποσίοις καὶ τοῖς περιπάτοις ἑκάστοτε πρὸς οὐδʼ ἡντινοῦν σπουδὴν
ἀλλʼ ὅ τι οἱ εἴσαιτο γελοίιον Ἀργείοισιν
αἰτίαν φιλίας ὥσπερ σόφισμα λοιδορίας προφερόμενος. ἐπεὶ καὶ τοῖς κωμικοῖς πολλὰ πρὸς τὸ θέατρον αὐστηρὰ καὶ πολιτικὰ πεποίητο· συμμεμιγμένον δὲ τὸ γελοῖον αὐτοῖς καὶ βωμολόχον, ὥσπερ σιτίοις ὑπότριμμα μοχθηρόν, ἐξίτηλον ἐποίει τὴν παρρησίαν καὶ ἄχρηστον, ὥστε περιῆν κακοηθείας δόξα καὶ βδελυρίας τοῖς λέγουσι, χρήσιμον δὲ τοῖς ἀκούουσιν οὐδὲν ἀπὸ τῶν λεγομένων. ἄλλως μὲν οὖν προσοιστέον ἐστὶ καὶ παιδιὰν καὶ γέλωτα τοῖς φίλοις· ἡ δὲ παρρησία σπουδὴν ἐχέτω καὶ ἦθος. ἂν δʼ ὑπὲρ μειζόνων, καὶ πάθει καὶ σχήματι καὶ τόνῳ φωνῆς ὁ λόγος ἀξιόπιστος ἔστω καὶ κινητικός ὁ δὲ καιρὸς ἐν παντὶ μὲν παρεθεὶς μεγάλα βλάπτει, μάλιστα δὲ τῆς παρρησίας διαφθείρει τὸ χρήσιμον. ὅτι μὲν οὖν ἐν οἴνῳ καὶ μέθῃ τὸ τοιοῦτο φυλακτέον, εὔδηλόν ἐστιν. εὐδίᾳ γὰρ ἐπάγει νέφος ὁ κινῶν ἐν παιδιᾷ καὶ φιλοφροσύνῃ λόγον ὀφρῦν ἀνασπῶντα καὶ συνιστάντα τὸ πρόσωπον, ὥσπερ ἀντιταττόμενον τῷ Λυαίῳ θεῷ καὶ λύοντι τὸ τῶν δυσφόρων σκύνιον μεριμνᾶν κατὰ Πίνδαρον. ἔχει δὲ καὶ κίνδυνον ἡ ἀκαιρία μέγαν. ἀκροσφαλεῖς γάρ εἰσιν αἱ ψυχαὶ πρὸς ὀργὴν διὰ τὸν οἶνον, καὶ πολλάκις ἡ μέθη παραλαβοῦσα τὴν παρρησίαν ἔχθραν ἐποίησε. καὶ ὅλως οὐκ ἔστι γενναῖον οὐδὲ θαρραλέον ἀλλʼ ἄνανδρον ἐν τῷ νήφειν ἀπαρρησιάστου τὸ παρρησιάζεσθαι παρὰ τράπεζαν ὥσπερ οἱ δειλοὶ κύνες. οὐδὲν οὖν δεῖ περὶ τούτων λέγοντα μηκύνειν.

## 4. Sections 28–37

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/4/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/plutarch-flatterer-and-friend/4/#p-N

[¶0] 28. Now we observe that many people have neither the assurance nor the courage to school their friends when these are prospering, but on the contrary feel that good fortune is altogether inaccessible and impregnable to admonition, whereas, when one of their friends has fallen and come to grief, they assail him and trample upon him now he is reduced to a subordinate and humble position, letting loose upon him a flood of frank speech, like a stream which has been held in unnatural restraint, and they find a welcome pleasure in the change because of their friend’s former disdain and their own weakness; it would therefore be well to discuss this matter also, and to make a reply to Euripides when he says, “When Heaven grants us luck, what need of friends?” The reply is, that in good fortune men have most need of friends to speak frankly and reduce their excess of pride. For there are few persons who in good fortune have still a sober mind; most have need of discretion and reason to be put into them from without, which shall repress them when they are puffed up and unsettled with the favours of fortune. But when the Heavenly power casts them down and strips off their importance, there is in these calamities alone admonition enough to work repentance. Wherefore at such a time there is no use for a friend’s frankness or for words charged with grave and stinging reproof; but in such reversals truly “’Tis sweet to gaze into a kind man’s eyes,” when he offers consolation and encouragement. And this was true of Clearchus, the sight of whose face, Xenophon says, so kindly and benevolent in the midst of “battles and perils,” strengthened the confidence of the men in the face of danger. But he who applies frankness of speech and stinging reproof to a person in misfortune, might as well apply some stimulant of vision to a disordered and inflamed eye; he effects no cure nor any abatement of the pain, but only adds irritation to the painfulness, and exasperates the sufferer. Thus no man in good health, for instance, is at all harsh or ferocious against a friend who blames him for yielding to women and wine, or for being lazy and neglecting to take exercise, or for indulging perpetually in baths or unseasonable gourmandise. But for a man who is sick it is intolerable, nay, an aggravation of the sickness, to be told, “See what comes of your intemperance, your soft living, your gluttony and wenching.” “Heavens, man, what a time to talk of that! I am writing my will, the doctors are preparing for me a dose of castor or scammony, and you admonish and lecture me!” Under such conditions, then, the very circumstances in which the unfortunate find themselves leave no room for frank speaking and sententious saws, but they do require gentle usage and help. When children fall down, the nurses do not rush up to them to berate them, but they take them up, wash them, and straighten their clothes, and, after all this is done, they then rebuke and punish them. It is said that when Demetrius of Phalerum had been banished from his native land and was living in obscurity and humble station near Thebes, he was not well pleased to see Crates approaching, anticipating some cynical frankness and harsh language. But Crates met him with all gentleness, and conversed with him concerning the subject of banishment, how there was nothing bad in it, nor any good cause to feel distress, since thus he was set free from a hazardous and insecure office; at the same time he urged him not to be discouraged over himself and his present condition. Whereupon Demetrius, becoming more cheerful and once more taking heart, said to his friends, “What a pity that those activities and occupations of mine have kept me from knowing a man like this!” “The kindly words of friends for one in grief And admonitions when one plays the fool.” This is the way of noble friends, but the ignoble and degraded flatterers of the fortunate are “like the old fractures and sprains,” which, as Demosthenes says, “are stirred afresh whenever the body suffers some ill,” and so these persons have a clinging fondness for reverses, as though they were pleased with them and derived enjoyment from them. For if a man really needs a reminder where he has come to grief through following his own ill-advised counsel, sufficient are the words: “Never did I approve the act; indeed I often Spoke against it.”

> Greek: 28. ἐπεὶ δὲ πολλοὶ τοὺς φίλους εὖ φερομένους ἐν τοῖς πράγμασιν οὔτʼ ἀξιοῦσιν οὔτε τολμῶσι ῥυθμίζειν, ἀλλʼ ὅλως ἀπρόσιτον καὶ ἀνέφικτον ἡγοῦνται νουθεσίᾳ τὸ εὐτυχοῦν εἶναι, σφαλλομένοις δὲ καὶ πταίουσιν ἐπιτίθενται καὶ πατοῦσιν ὑπὸ χεῖρα καὶ ταπεινοὺς γεγενημένους, ὥσπερ ῥεῦμα κεκρατημένον παρὰ φύσιν τὴν παρρησίαν ἀθρόως ἐφιέντες αὐτοῖς καὶ ἀπολαύοντες ἄσμενοι τῆς μεταβολῆς διὰ τὴν πρόσθεν ὑπεροψίαν ἐκείνων αὑτῶν δʼ ἀσθένειαν, οὐ χεῖρόν ἐστι καὶ περὶ τούτων διελθεῖν καὶ ἀποκρίνασθαι τῷ Εὐριπίδῃ λέγοντι
ὅταν δʼ ὁ δαίμων εὖ διδῷ, τί δεῖ φίλων;
ὅτι δεῖ μάλιστα παρρησιαζομένων φίλων τοῖς εὐτυχοῦσι καὶ τὸ ἄγαν ὑφιέντων τοῦ φρονήματος. ὀλίγοι γάρ εἰσιν οἷς μετὰ τοῦ εὐτυχεῖν παραγίγνεται τὸ φρονεῖν· οἱ δὲ πολλοὶ φρενῶν ἐπεισάκτων δέονται καὶ λογισμῶν πιεζόντων ἔξωθεν αὐτοὺς ὑπὸ τῆς τύχης φυσωμένους καὶ σαλευομένους. ὅταν δʼ ὁ δαίμων καταβάλῃ καὶ περιέλῃ τὸν ὄγκον, αὐτοῖς τοῖς πράγμασιν ἔνεστι τὸ νουθετοῦν καὶ μετάνοιαν ἐμποιοῦν. ὅθεν οὐδὲν ἔργον τότε παρρησίας φιλικῆς οὐδὲ λόγων βάρος ἐχόντων καὶ δηγμόν, ἀλλʼ ὡς ἀληθῶς ἐν ταῖς τοιαύταις μεταβολαῖς
εἰς ὄμματʼ εὔνου φωτὸς ἐμβλέψαι γλυκὺ
παρηγοροῦντος καὶ παραθαρρύνοντος, ὥσπερ τοῦ Κλεάρχου τὸ πρόσωπον ὁ Ξενοφῶν ἐν ταῖς μάχαις καὶ παρὰ τὰ δεινά φησιν ὁρώμενον εὐμενὲς καὶ φιλάνθρωπον εὐθαρσεστέρους ποιεῖν τοὺς κινδυνεύοντας. ὁ δὲ παρρησίαν καὶ δηγμὸν ἀνθρώπῳ δυστυχοῦντι προσάγων ὥσπερ ὀξυδορκικὸν ὄμματι ταρασσομένῳ καὶ φλεγμαίνοντι, θεραπεύει μὲν οὐδὲν οὐδʼ ἀφαιρεῖ τοῦ λυποῦντος, ὀργὴν δὲ τῇ λύπῃ προστίθησι καὶ παροξύνει τὸν ἀνιώμενον. αὐτίκα γοῦν ὑγιαίνων μέν τις οὐ χαλεπός ἐστιν οὐδʼ ἄγριος παντάπασιν ἀνδρὶ φίλῳ ψέγοντι μὲν συνουσίας καὶ πότους αὐτοῦ ψέγοντι δʼ ἀργίαν καὶ ἀγυμνασίαν καὶ λουτρὰ συνεχῆ καὶ πλησμονὰς ἀκαίρους· νοσοῦντι δʼ οὐκ ἀνεκτὸν ἀλλὰ μείζων νόσος ἀκούειν ὅτι ταῦτά σοι γέγονεν ἐξ ἀκρασίας καὶ μαλακίας καὶ διʼ ὄψα καὶ γυναῖκας. ὢ τῆς ἀκαιρίας, ἄνθρωπε· διαθήκην γράφω καὶ παρασκευάζεταί μοι καστόριον ἢ σκαμώνιον ὑπὸ τῶν ἰατρῶν, σὺ δὲ νουθετεῖς καὶ φιλοσοφεῖς. οὕτω τοίνυν καὶ τὰ πράγματα τῶν δυστυχούντων οὐ παρρησίαν ἐνδέχεται καὶ γνωμολογίαν, ἀλλʼ ἐπιεικείας δεῖται καὶ βοηθείας. καὶ γὰρ αἱ τίτθαι τοῖς παιδίοις πεσοῦσιν οὐ λοιδορησόμεναι προστρέχουσιν, ἀλλʼ ἤγειραν καὶ περιέπλυναν καὶ κατέστειλαν, εἶθʼ οὕτως ἐπιπλήττουσι καὶ κολάζουσι. λέγεται δὲ καὶ Δημήτριος ὁ Φαληρεὺς ὅτε τῆς πατρίδος ἐξέπεσε καὶ περὶ Θήβας ἀδοξῶν καὶ ταπεινὰ πράττων διῆγεν, οὐχ ἡδέως ἰδεῖν προσιόντα Κράτητα, παρρησίαν κυνικὴν καὶ λόγους τραχεῖς προσδεχόμενος· ἐντυχόντος δὲ πράως αὐτῷ τοῦ Κράτητος καὶ διαλεχθέντος περὶ φυγῆς ὡς οὐδὲν ἔχοι κακὸν οὐδʼ ἄξιον φέρειν βαρέως πραγμάτων σφαλερῶν καὶ ἀβεβαίων ἀπηλλαγμένον, ἅμα δὲ θαρρεῖν ἑαυτῷ καὶ τῇ διαθέσει παρακαλοῦντος, ἡδίων γενόμενος καὶ ἀναθαρρήσας πρὸς τοὺς φίλους εἶπε φεῦ τῶν πράξεων ἐκείνων καὶ ἀσχολιῶν διʼ ἃς ἄνδρα τοιοῦτον οὐκ ἔγνωμεν
λυπουμένῳ γὰρ μῦθος εὐμενὴς φίλων,
ἄγαν δὲ μωραίνοντι νουθετήματα.
Οὗτος ὁ τρόπος τῶν γενναίων φίλων· οἱ δʼ ἀγεννεῖς καὶ ταπεινοὶ τῶν εὐτυχούντων κόλακες, ὥσπερ τὰ ῥήγματα καὶ τὰ σπάσματά φησι Δημοσθένης ὅταν τι κακὸν τὸ σῶμα λάβῃ τότε κινεῖσθαι, καὶ οὗτοι ταῖς μεταβολαῖς ἐπιφύονται, καθάπερ ἡδόμενοι καὶ ἀπολαύοντες. καὶ γὰρ ἂν δέηταί τινος ὑπομνήσεως ἐν οἷς διʼ αὑτὸν ἔπταισε βουλευσάμενος κακῶς, ἱκανόν ἐστι τὸ
οὔ τι καθʼ ἡμέτερόν γε νόον· μάλα γάρ τοι ἔγωγε
πόλλʼ ἀπεμυθεόμην ἐν τίσιν οὖν σφοδρὸν εἶναι δεῖ τὸν φίλον καὶ πότε τῷ τόνῳ χρῆσθαι τῆς παρρησίας;

[¶1] 29. In what circumstances, then, should a friend be severe, and when should he be emphatic in using frank speech? It is when occasions demand of him that he check the headlong course of pleasure or of anger or of arrogance, or that he abate avarice or curb inconsiderate heedlessness. Such was the frankness of Solon towards Croesus, who was spoiled and pampered by fickle fortune, when he bade him look to the end. In such manner Socrates tried to keep Alcibiades in check, and drew an honest tear from his eyes by exposing his faults, and so turned his heart. Of such sort was the conduct of Cyrus towards Cyaxares, and of Plato toward Dion at the time when the latter was at the height of his splendour and was drawing the eyes of all mankind upon himself through the beauty and magnificence of his works, when Plato exhorted him to be on his guard against “arbitrary self-will” and to fear it, “since it is companion to solitude.” Speusippus also wrote to Dion not to feel proud if there was much talk of him among children and light-minded women, but to see to it that by adorning Sicily with holiness, justice, and the best of laws, he should “bring name and fame” to the Academy. But, on the other hand, Euctus and Eulaeus, companions of Perseus, while his good fortune lasted always behaved so as to please him, and complied with his humour, and like all the rest they followed where he led; but when, after his disastrous encounter with the Romans at Pydna, he took to flight, these men beset him with bitter reproaches, and continually reminded him of his errors and omissions, reviling him for everything he had done, until the man, smarting with grief and anger, stabbed them with his dagger and made an end of both of them.

> Greek: 29. ὅταν ἡδονῆς ἢ ὀργῆς ἢ ὕβρεως ἐπιλαβέσθαι φερομένης οἱ καιροὶ παρακαλῶσιν ἢ κολοῦσαι φιλαργυρίαν ἢ ἀπροσεξίαν ἀνασχεῖν ἀνόητον. οὕτως ἐπαρρησιάζετο Σόλων πρὸς Κροῖσον ὑπʼ εὐτυχίας ἀβεβαίου διεφθορότα καὶ τρυφῶντα, τὸ τέλος ὁρᾶν κελεύσας· οὕτω Σωκράτης Ἀλκιβιάδην ἐκόλουε, καὶ δάκρυον ἐξῆγεν ἀληθινὸν ἐξελεγχομένου καὶ τὴν καρδίαν ἔστρεφε. τοιαῦτα τὰ Κύρου πρὸς Κυαξάρην καὶ τὰ πρὸς Δίωνα Πλάτωνος, ὅτε λαμπρότατος ἦν καὶ πάντας εἰς ἑαυτὸν ἀνθρώπους ἐπέστρεφε διὰ τὸ κάλλος τῶν πράξεων καὶ τὸ μέγεθος, παρακελευομένου φυλάττεσθαι καὶ δεδιέναι τὴν αὐθάδειαν, ὡς ἐρημίᾳ ξύνοικον ἔγραφε δὲ καὶ Σπεύσιππος αὐτῷ μὴ μέγα φρονεῖν εἰ πολὺς αὐτοῦ λόγος ἐστὶν ἐν παιδαρίοις καὶ γυναίοις, ἀλλʼ ὁρᾶν ὅπως ὁσιότητι καὶ δικαιοσύνῃ καὶ νόμοις ἀρίστοις κοσμήσας Σικελίαν εὐκλεᾶ θήσει τὴν Ἀκαδήμειαν. Εὖκτος δὲ καὶ Εὐλαῖος, ἑταῖροι Περσέως, εὐτυχοῦντι μὲν ἀεὶ πρὸς χάριν ὁμιλοῦντες καὶ συνεπινεύοντες ὥσπερ οἱ λοιποὶ παρηκολούθουν· ἐπεὶ δὲ Ῥωμαίοις συμβαλὼν περὶ Πύδναν ἔπταισε καὶ ἔφυγε, προσπεσόντες ἐπετίμων πικρῶς καὶ ἀνεμίμνησκον ὧν ἐξήμαρτεν ἢ παρεῖδεν, ἕκαστον ἐξονειδίζοντες, ἄχρι οὗ διαλγήσας ὁ ἄνθρωπος ὑπὸ λύπης καὶ ὀργῆς ἀμφοτέρους τῷ ξιφιδίῳ παίων ἀνεῖλεν.

[¶2] 30. Let thus much, then, serve to define the proper occasion in general. But the friend who is concerned for his friends must not let slip the occasions which they themselves often present, but he should turn these to account. For sometimes a question, the telling of a story, blame or commendation of like things in other people, may serve as an opening for frank speech. For example, Demaratus is said to have come to Macedonia during the time when Philip was at odds with his wife and son. Philip, after greeting him, inquired how well the Greeks were at harmony together; and Demaratus, who knew him well and wished him well, said, “A glorious thing for you, Philip, to be inquiring about the concord of Athenians and Peloponnesians, while you let your own household be full of all this quarrelling and dissension!” Excellent, too, was the retort of Diogenes on the occasion when he had entered Philip’s camp and was brought before Philip himself, at the time when Philip was on his way to fight the Greeks. Not knowing who Diogenes was, Philip asked him if he were a spy. “Yes, indeed, Philip,” he replied, “I am here to spy upon your ill-advised folly, because of which you, without any compelling reason, are on your way to hazard a kingdom and your life on the outcome of a single hour.” This perhaps was rather severe.

> Greek: 30. ὁ μὲν οὖν κοινὸς οὕτω προωρίσθω καιρός· οὓς δὲ παρέχουσιν αὐτοὶ πολλάκις οὐ χρὴ προΐεσθαι τὸν κηδόμενον φίλων ἀλλὰ χρῆσθαι· καὶ γὰρ ἐρώτησις ἐνίοις καὶ διήγησις καὶ ψόγος ὁμοίων ἐφʼ ἑτέροις ἢ ἔπαινος ὥσπερ ἐνδόσιμον εἰς παρρησίαν ἐστίν. οἷον ἐλθεῖν Δημάρατον εἰς Μακεδονίαν λέγουσι καθʼ ὃν χρόνον ἐν διαφορᾷ πρὸς τὴν γυναῖκα καὶ τὸν υἱὸν ὁ Φίλιππος ἦν· ἀσπασαμένου δʼ αὐτὸν τοῦ Φιλίππου καὶ πυθομένου πῶς πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἔχουσιν ὁμονοίας οἱ Ἕλληνες, εἰπεῖν τὸν Δημάρατον εὔνουν ὄντα καὶ συνήθη πάνυ γοῦν ὦ Φίλιππε καλὸν ἐστί σοι πυνθάνεσθαι μὲν περὶ τῆς Ἀθηναίων καὶ Πελοποννησίων ὁμοφροσύνης, τὴν δʼ οἰκίαν περιορᾶν τὴν σεαυτοῦ τοσαύτης στάσεως καὶ διχονοίας γέμουσαν εὖ δὲ καὶ Διογένης, ὃς ἐπεὶ παρελθὼν εἰς τὸ τοῦ Φιλίππου στρατόπεδον, ὅτε τοῖς Ἕλλησιν ἐβάδιζε μαχούμενος, ἀνήχθη πρὸς αὐτόν, ὁ δʼ ἀγνοῶν ἠρώτησεν εἰ κατάσκοπός ἐστι, πάνυ μὲν οὖν ἔφη κατάσκοπος ὦ Φίλιππε τῆς ἀβουλίας σου καὶ τῆς ἀνοίας, διʼ ἣν οὐδενὸς ἀναγκάζοντος ἔρχῃ περὶ τῆς βασιλείας καὶ τοῦ σώματος ὥρᾳ μιᾷ διακυβεύσων Τοῦτο μὲν οὖν ἴσως σφοδρότερον·

[¶3] 31. But another opportunity for admonition arises when people, having been reviled by others for their errors, have become submissive and downcast. The tactful man will make an adept use of this, by rebuffing and dispersing the revilers, and by taking hold of his friend in private and reminding him that, if there is no other reason for his being circumspect, he should at least try to keep his enemies from being bold. “For where have these fellows a chance to open their mouths, or what can they say against you, if you put away and cast from you all that which gets you a bad name?” In this way he who reviles is charged with hurting, and he who admonishes is credited with helping. But some persons manage more cleverly, and by finding fault with strangers, turn their own intimate acquaintances to repentance; for they accuse the others of what they know their own acquaintances are doing. My professor, Ammonius, at an afternoon lecture perceived that some of his students had eaten a luncheon that was anything but frugal, and so he ordered his freedman to chastise his own servant, remarking by way of explanation that “that boy can’t lunch without his wine!” At the same time he glanced towards us, so that the rebuke took hold of the guilty.

> Greek: 31. ἕτερος δὲ καιρός ἐστι νουθεσίας ὅταν ὑπʼ ἄλλων λοιδορηθέντες ἐφʼ οἷς ἁμαρτάνουσι ταπεινοί τε γένωνται καὶ συσταλῶσιν. ᾧ χρῷτʼ ἂν ἐμμελῶς χαρίεις τοὺς μὲν λοιδοροῦντας ἀνακόπτων καὶ διακρουόμενος, ἰδίᾳ δʼ αὐτὸς ἁπτόμενος τοῦ φίλου καὶ ὑπομιμνῄσκων ὡς εἰ διὰ μηδὲν ἄλλο προσεκτέον αὐτῷ, ὅπως γε μὴ θρασεῖς ὦσιν οἱ ἐχθροί. ποῦ γὰρ ἔστι τούτοις τὸ στόμα διᾶραι, τί δὲ προσειπεῖν, ἂν ἀφῇς ταῦτα καὶ ῥίψῃς ἐφʼ οἷς κακῶς ἀκούεις; γίγνεται γὰρ οὕτω τὸ μὲν λυπηρὸν τοῦ λοιδοροῦντος, τὸ δʼ ὠφέλιμον τοῦ νουθετοῦντος. ἔνιοι δὲ κομψότερον, ἄλλους ψέγοντες, ἐπιστρέφουσι τοὺς συνήθεις· κατηγοροῦσι γὰρ ἑτέρων ἃ πράττοντας ἐκείνους ἴσασιν. ὁ δʼ ἡμέτερος καθηγητὴς Ἀμμώνιος ἐν δειλινῇ διατριβῇ τῶν γνωρίμων τινὰς αἰσθόμενος ἠριστηκότας οὐχ ἁπλοῦν ἄριστον ἐκέλευσεν ἰδίῳ παιδὶ πληγὰς ἐμβαλεῖν τὸν ἀπελεύθερον, ἐπειπὼν ὅτι χωρὶς ὄξους ἀριστᾶν οὐ δύναται. καὶ ἅμα πρὸς ἡμᾶς ἀπέβλεψεν, ὥστε τῶν ἐνόχων ἅψασθαι τὴν ἐπιτίμησιν, ἔτι τοίνυν εὐλαβητέον ἐστὶν ἐν πολλοῖς παρρησίᾳ χρῆσθαι πρὸς φίλον, ἐνθυμούμενον τὸ τοῦ Πλάτωνος.

[¶4] 32. One other point: we must be very careful about the use of frank speech toward a friend before a large company, bearing in mind the incident in which Plato was involved. It so happened that Socrates had handled one of his acquaintances rather severely in a conversation which took place close by the money-changers’, whereupon Plato said, “Were it not better that this had been said in private?” Socrates retorted, “Should you not have done better if you had addressed your remark to me in private?” And again, when Pythagoras once assailed a devoted pupil pretty roughly in the presence of several persons, the youth, as the story goes, hanged himself, and from that time on Pythagoras never admonished anybody when anyone else was present. For error should be treated as a foul disease, and all admonition and disclosure should be in secret, with nothing of show or display in it to attract a crowd of witnesses and spectators. For it is not like friendship, but sophistry, to seek for glory in other men’s faults, and to make a fair show before the spectators, like the physicians who perform operations in the theatres with an eye to attracting patients. Quite apart from the affront involved—which ought never to be allowed in any corrective treatment— some regard must be paid to the contentiousness and self-will that belong to vice; for it is not enough to say, as Euripides has it, that “Love reproved More urgent grows,” but if admonition be offered in public, and unsparingly, it only confirms each and every morbid emotion in its shamelessness. Hence, just as Plato insists that elderly men who are trying to cultivate a sense of respect among the young, must themselves, first of all, show respect for the young, so among friends a modest frankness best engenders modesty, and a cautious quiet approach and treatment of the erring one saps the foundations of his vice and annihilates it, since it gradually becomes imbued with consideration for the consideration shown to it. It follows, then, that the best way is to “Hold one’s head quite close, that the others may not hear it.” And least of all is it decent to expose a husband in the hearing of his wife, and a father in the sight of his children, and a lover in the presence of his beloved, or a teacher in the presence of his students: for such persons are driven almost insane with grief and anger at being taken to task before those with whom they feel it is necessary to stand well. I imagine also that it was not so much the wine that caused Cleitus to be so exasperating to Alexander, as that he gave the impression of trying to curb him before a large company. And Aristomenes, Ptolemy’s tutor, because he gave Ptolemy a slap to wake him up, as he was nodding while an embassy was present, thereby afforded a hold to the flatterers, who affected to be indignant on the king’s behalf, and said, “If with all your fatiguing duties and great lack of sleep you dropped off, we ought to admonish you in private, not to lay hands on you before so many people”; and Ptolemy sent a goblet of poison with orders that the man should drink it off. So, too, Aristophanes says that Cleon accused him because “With strangers present he reviles the State,” thus trying to exasperate the Athenians against him. This blunder, therefore, along with the others, must be guarded against by those who desire, not to show off, or to win popularity, but to employ frank speaking in a way that is beneficial and salutary. In feet, persons that use frank speaking ought to be able to say what Thucydides represents the Corinthians as saying about themselves, that they “have a good right to reprove others”—which is not a bad way of putting it. For as Lysander, we are told, said to the man from Megara, who in the council of the allies was making bold to speak for Greece, that “his words needed a country to back them”; so it may well be that every man’s frank speaking needs to be backed by character, but this is especially true in the case of those who admonish others and try to bring them to their sober senses. Plato at any rate used to say that he admonished Speusippus by his life, as, to be sure, the mere sight of Xenocrates in the lecture-room, and a glance from him, converted Polemon and made him a changed man. But the speech of a man light-minded and mean in character, when it undertakes to deal in frankness, results only in evoking the retort: “Wouldst thou heal others, full of sores thyself!”

> Greek: 32. ἐπεὶ γὰρ ὁ Σωκράτης ἥψατό τινος τῶν συνήθων σφοδρότερον ἐπὶ ταῖς τραπέζαις διαλεγόμενος, οὐκ ἄμεινον ἦν ὁ Πλάτων ἔφη ἰδίᾳ ταῦτα λελέχθαι; καὶ ὁ Σωκράτης σὺ δʼ οὐκ ἄμεινον εἶπεν ἐποίησας ἂν ἰδίᾳ πρὸς ἐμὲ τοῦτʼ εἰπών; Πυθαγόρου δὲ τραχύτερον ἐν πολλοῖς γνωρίμῳ προσενεχθέντος ἀπάγξασθαι τὸ μειράκιον λέγουσιν, ἐκ τούτου δὲ μηδέποτε τὸν Πυθαγόραν αὖθις ἄλλου παρόντος ἄλλον νουθετῆσαι. δεῖ γὰρ ὡς νοσήματος οὐκ εὐπρεποῦς τῆς ἁμαρτίας τὴν νουθέτησιν καὶ ἀνακάλυψιν ἀπόρρητον εἶναι καὶ μὴ πανηγυρικὴν μηδʼ ἐπιδεικτικὴν μηδὲ μάρτυρας καὶ θεατὰς συνάγουσαν. οὐ γὰρ φιλικὸν ἀλλὰ σοφιστικὸν ἀλλοτρίοις ἐνευδοκιμεῖν σφάλμασι, καλλωπιζόμενον πρὸς τοὺς παρόντας, ὥσπερ οἱ χειρουργοῦντες ἐν τοῖς θεάτροις ἰατροὶ πρὸς ἐργολαβίαν. ἄνευ δὲ τῆς ὕβρεως, ἣν οὐδεμιᾷ θεραπείᾳ προσεῖναι δίκαιόν ἐστι, καὶ τὸ τῆς κακίας σκεπτέον φιλόνεικον καὶ αὔθαδες, οὐ γὰρ ἁπλῶς νουθετούμενος ἔρως μᾶλλον πιέζει κατʼ Εὐριπίδην, ἀλλʼ ἂν νουθετῇ τις ἐν πολλοῖς καὶ μὴ φειδόμενος, πᾶν νόσημα καὶ πᾶν πάθος εἰς τὸ ἀναίσχυντον καθίστησιν. ὥσπερ οὖν ὁ Πλάτων τοὺς παρασκευάζοντας ἐν τοῖς νέοις αἰσχύνην γέροντας αὐτοὺς ἀξιοῖ πρῶτον αἰσχύνεσθαι τοὺς νέους,· οὕτω τῶν φίλων ἡ δυσωπουμένη παρρησία δυσωπεῖ μάλιστα, καὶ τὸ μετʼ εὐλαβείας ἀτρέμα προσιέναι καὶ ἅπτεσθαι τοῦ ἁμαρτάνοντος ὑπερείπει καὶ διεργάζεται τὴν κακίαν ἀναπιμπλαμένην τοῦ αἰδεῖσθαι τὸ αἰδούμενον. ὅθεν ἄριστα μὲν ἔχει τὸ
ἄγχι σχὼν κεφαλήν, ἵνα μὴ πευθοίαθʼ οἱ ἄλλοι,
ἥκιστα δὲ πρέπει γαμετῆς ἀκουούσης ἄνδρα καὶ παίδων ἐν ὄψει πατέρα καὶ ἐραστὴν ἐρωμένου παρόντος ἢ γνωρίμων διδάσκαλον ἀποκαλύπτειν· ἐξίστανται γὰρ ὑπὸ λύπης καὶ ὀργῆς ἐλεγχόμενοι παρʼ οἷς εὐδοκιμεῖν ἀξιοῦσιν. οἶμαι δὲ καὶ Κλεῖτος οὐχ οὕτω παρώξυνε διὰ τὸν οἶνον, ὡς ὅτι πολλῶν παρόντων ἐδόκει κολούειν Ἀλέξανδρον. καὶ Ἀριστομένης ὁ Πτολεμαίου καθηγητὴς ὅτι νυστάζοντα πρεσβείας παρούσης ἐπάταξεν ἐξεγείρων, λαβήν τινα παρέσχε τοῖς κόλαξι, προσποιουμένοις ἀγανακτεῖν ὑπὲρ τοῦ βασιλέως καὶ λέγουσιν εἰ τοσαῦτα κοπιῶν καὶ ἀγρυπνῶν κατηνέχθης, ἰδίᾳ σε νουθετεῖν ὀφείλομεν, οὐκ ἐναντίον ἀνθρώπων τοσούτων προσφέρειν τὰς χεῖρας ὁ δὲ φαρμάκου κύλικα πέμψας ἐκέλευσεν ἐκπιεῖν τὸν ἄνθρωπον. Ἀριστοφάνης δὲ καὶ τὸν Κλέωνα τοῦτʼ ἐγκαλεῖν φησιν ὅτι
ξένων παρόντων τὴν πόλιν κακῶς λέγει
καὶ παροξύνει τοὺς Ἀθηναίους. διὸ δεῖ φυλάττεσθαι καὶ τοῦτο μετὰ τῶν ἄλλων τοὺς μὴ παρεπιδείκνυσθαι μηδὲ δημαγωγεῖν ἀλλʼ ὀνησιφόρως καὶ θεραπευτικῶς χρῆσθαι τῇ παρρησίᾳ βουλομένους καὶ μὴν ὅπερ ὁ Θουκυδίδης τοὺς Κορινθίους λέγοντας περὶ αὑτῶν πεποίηκεν, ὡς ἄξιοί εἰσιν ἑτέροις ἐπενεγκεῖν ψόγον, οὐ κακῶς εἰρημένον, ἔδει παρεῖναι τοῖς παρρησιαζομένοις. Λύσανδρος μὲν γὰρ ὡς ἔοικε πρὸς τὸν ἐκ Μεγάρων ἐν τοῖς συμμάχοις παρρησιαζόμενον ὑπὲρ τῆς Ἑλλάδος ἔφη τοὺς λόγους αὐτοῦ πόλεως δεῖσθαι· παρρησία δὲ παντὸς ἀνδρὸς ἤθους ἴσως δεῖται, καὶ τοῦτʼ ἀληθέστατόν ἐστιν ἐπὶ τῶν ἑτέρους νουθετούντων καὶ σωφρονιζόντων λεγόμενον. ὁ γοῦν Πλάτων ἔλεγε νουθετεῖν τῷ βίῳ τὸν Σπεύσιππον, ὥσπερ ἀμέλει καὶ Πολέμωνα Ξενοκράτης ὀφθεὶς μόνον ἐν τῇ διατριβῇ καὶ ἀποβλέψας πρὸς αὐτὸν ἐτρέψατο καὶ μετέθηκεν. ἐλαφροῦ δὲ καὶ φαύλου τὸ ἦθος ἀνθρώπου λόγῳ παρρησίας ἁπτομένῳ περίεστι προσακοῦσαι τὸ
ἄλλων ἰατρὸς αὐτὸς ἕλκεσιν βρύων οὐ μὴν ἀλλʼ ἐπεὶ φαύλους γε ὄντας αὐτοὺς ἑτέροις τε τοιούτοις ὁμιλοῦντας ἐξάγει τὸ πράγματα πολλάκις εἰς τὸ νουθετεῖν, ἐπιεικέστατος ἂν εἴη τρόπος ὁ συνεμπλέκων καὶ συμπεριλαμβάνων ἁμηγέπη τῷ ἐγκλήματι τὸν παρρησιαζόμενον·

[¶5] 33. Since, however, circumstances oftentimes impel men that are none too good themselves to use admonition when in the company of others who are no better than they, the most reasonable method would be that which in some way involves and includes in the arraignment the speaker himself. This is the principle of the reproof “Son of Tydeus, what has made us forget our swift prowess?” and “We are no match now even for Hector Who is only one man.” And in this way Socrates quietly took the young men to task, not assuming that he himself was exempted from ignorance, but feeling that he had need as well as they to study virtue and to search for truth. For those win goodwill and confidence who give the impression that, while addicted to the same faults, they are correcting their friends precisely as they correct themselves. But the man who gives himself airs in trying to curb another as though he himself were some pure and passionless being, unless he be well on in years or possessed of an acknowledged position in virtue and repute, only appears annoying and tedious, and profits nothing. Therefore it was not without a purpose that Phoenix interjected the account of his own misfortunes, his attempt in a fit of anger to slay his father, and his sudden change of heart, “Lest I be known among the Greeks as my father’s slayer ” This he did because he would not seem to admonish Achilles as though he were unaffected by anger and without fault himself. For such things make a deep moral impression, and persons are more wont to yield to those who seem to have like emotions but no feeling of contempt. Since a brilliant light must not be brought near to an inflamed eye, and a troubled spirit likewise does not put up with frank speaking and plain reproof, among the most useful helps is a light admixture of praise, as in the following: “Not without honour now can you be remiss in swift prowess, You who are all the best in our host. No cause for a quarrel Have I ’gainst any man who may be remiss in the fighting, If he is craven, but with you I am wroth beyond measure,” and “Pandarus, where is now your bow and its winged arrows? Where your repute which no man among us can rival?” Lines like the following also sound a clear summons to come back when men are on the verge of giving way: “Where’s Oedipus and all those riddles famed?” and “Can much-enduring Heracles speak thus?” For not only do they mitigate the harsh and peremptory tone of the censure, but they also arouse in a man a desire to emulate his better self, since he is made to feel ashamed of disgraceful conduct by being reminded of his honourable actions, and is prompted to look upon himself as an example of what is better. But whenever we draw comparisons with other people, as, for example, with those of a man’s own age or his fellow-citizens or his kinsmen, then the spirit of contentiousness that belongs to vice is made sullen and savage, and it will often suggest with some temper, “Then why don’t you go away to my betters, and not trouble me?” One must, therefore, in frank speaking toward one set of persons be on his guard against commending another set, with the single exception, it is true, of parents. For example, Agamemnon can say: “Truly Tydeus’ son is not much like his father,” and so, too, Odysseus in the Scyrians: “Dost thou, to shame the glory of thy race, Card wool, whose father was the noblest Greek?”

> Greek: 33. ἐφʼ ᾧ λέλεκται καὶ τὸ
Τυδείδη, τί παθόντε λελάσμεθα θούριδος ἀλκῆς;
καὶ τὸ
νῦν δʼ οὐδʼ ἑνὸς ἄξιοί εἰμεν
Ἕκτορος
καὶ ὁ Σωκράτης οὕτως ἀτρέμα τοὺς νέους ἤλεγχεν, ὡς μηδʼ αὐτὸς ἀπηλλαγμένος ἀμαθίας, ἀλλὰ μετʼ ἐκείνων οἰόμενος δεῖν ἀρετῆς ἐπιμέλεσθαι καὶ ζητεῖν τἀληθές. καὶ γὰρ εὔνοιαν καὶ πίστιν ἔχουσιν οἱ ταὐτὰ μὲν ἁμαρτάνειν, ἐπανορθοῦσθαι δὲ τοὺς φίλους ὥσπερ αὑτοὺς δοκοῦντες. ὁ δὲ σεμνύνων ἑαυτὸν ἐν τῷ κολούειν ἕτερον, ὡς δή τις εἰλικρινὴς καὶ ἀπαθής, ἂν μὴ πολὺ καθʼ ἡλικίαν προήκων μηδʼ ἔχων ἀρετῆς ὁμολογούμενον ἀξίωμα καὶ δόξης, ἐπαχθὴς φανεὶς καὶ βαρὺς οὐδὲν ὠφέλησεν. ὅθεν οὐχ ἁπλῶς ὁ Φοῖνιξ ἐνέβαλε τὰ περὶ αὑτὸν ἀτυχήματα, διʼ ὀργὴν ἐπιχειρήσαντος ἀνελεῖν τὸν πατέρα καὶ ταχὺ μεταγνόντος,
ὡς μὴ πατροφόνος μετʼ Ἀχαιοῖσιν καλεοίμην,
ἵνα μὴ δοκῇ νουθετεῖν ἐκεῖνον ὡς αὐτὸς ἀπαθὴς ὢν ὑπʼ ὀργῆς καὶ ἀναμάρτητος. ἐνδύεται γὰρ ἠθικῶς τὰ τοιαῦτα, καὶ μᾶλλον εἴκουσι τοῖς ὁμοιοπαθεῖν ἀλλὰ μὴ περιφρονεῖν δοκοῦσιν. ἐπεὶ δʼ οὔτε φῶς λαμπρὸν ὄμματι φλεγμαίνοντι προσοιστέον, οὔτʼ ἐμπαθὴς ψυχὴ παρρησίαν ἀναδέχεται καὶ νουθεσίαν ἄκρατον, ἐν τοῖς χρησιμωτάτοις ἐστὶ τῶν βοηθημάτων ὁ παραμιγνύμενος ἐλαφρὸς ἔπαινος, ὥσπερ ἐν τούτοις
ὑμεῖς δʼ οὐκέτι καλὰ μεθίετε θούριδος ἀλκῆς
πάντες ἄριστοι ἐόντες ἀνὰ στρατόν. οὐδʼ ἂν ἔγωγε
ἀνδρὶ μαχεσσαίμην ὅστις πολέμοιο μεθείη
λυγρὸς ἐών· ὑμῖν δὲ νεμεσσῶμαι περὶ κῆρι
καὶ
Πάνδαρε, ποῦ τοι τόξον ἰδὲ πτερόεντες ὀιστοὶ
καὶ κλέος, ᾧ οὔ τίς τοι ἐρίζεται ἐνθάδε γʼ ἀνήρ;
σφόδρα δʼ ἐμφανῶς ἀνακαλεῖται καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα τοὺς ὑποφερομένους
ὁ δʼ Οἰδίπους ποῦ καὶ τὰ κλείνʼ αἰνίγματα;
καὶ
ὁ πολλὰ δὴ τλὰς Ἡρακλῆς λέγει τάδε;
οὐ γὰρ μόνον ἀνίησι τοῦ ψόγου τὸ τραχὺ καὶ κολαστικόν, ἀλλὰ καὶ ζῆλον ἐμποιεῖ πρὸς ἑαυτὸν αἰδουμένῳ τὰ αἰσχρὰ τῇ τῶν καλῶν ὑπομνήσει καὶ παράδειγμα ποιουμένῳ τῶν βελτιόνων ἑαυτόν. ὅταν δʼ ἑτέρους οἷον ἥλικας ἢ πολίτας ἢ συγγενεῖς παραβάλλωμεν, ἄχθεται καὶ διαγριαίνεται τὸ φιλόνεικον τῆς κακίας, καὶ τοῦτο πολλάκις εἴωθεν ὑποφωνεῖν μετʼ ὀργῆς τί οὖν οὐκ ἄπει πρὸς τοὺς ἐμοῦ κρείττονας, ἐμοὶ δὲ μὴ παρέχεις πράγματα; φυλακτέον οὖν ἑτέρους ἐπαινεῖν παρρησιαζόμενον πρὸς ἑτέρους, ἂν μὴ νὴ Δία γονεῖς ὦσιν. ὡς Ἀγαμέμνων
ἦ ὀλίγον οἱ παῖδα ἐοικότα γείνατο Τυδεύς,
καὶ ὁ ἐν τοῖς Σκυρίοις Ὀδυσσεὺς
σὺ δʼ, ὦ τὸ λαμπρὸν φῶς καταισχύνων γένους,
ξαίνεις, ἀρίστου πατρὸς Ἑλλήνων γεγώς;

[¶6] 34. Least of all is it becoming to reply to admonition with admonition, and to counter frank speaking with frank speaking. For this provokes instant heat, and causes estrangement, and such altercation, as a rule, bewrays, not the man that merely rewards frankness with frankness, but the man that cannot tolerate frankness. It is better, therefore, to bear patiently with a friend who affects to offer admonition; for if later he errs himself, and requires admonition, this very fact, in a certain way, gives our frank speaking a chance to speak frankly. For if he be gently reminded, without any show of resentment, that he himself has not been wont to overlook the errors of his friends, but to take his friends to task and enlighten them, he will be much more inclined to yield and accept the correction, as being a way to requite a kindly and gracious feeling, and not fault-finding or anger.

> Greek: 34. ἥκιστα δὲ προσήκει νουθετούμενον ἀντινουθετεῖν καὶ παρρησίᾳ παρρησίαν ἀντεκφέρειν· ταχὺ γὰρ ἐκκάει καὶ ποιεῖ διαφοράν, καὶ ὅλως οὐκ ἀντιπαρρησιαζομένου δόξειεν ἂν ἀλλὰ παρρησίαν μὴ φέροντος ὁ τοιοῦτος ὠθισμὸς εἶναι. βέλτιον οὖν ὑπομένειν τὸν νουθετεῖν δοκοῦντα φίλον· ἂν γὰρ ὕστερον αὐτὸς ἁμαρτάνῃ καὶ δέηται νουθεσίας, αὐτὸ τοῦτο τῇ παρρησίᾳ τρόπον τινὰ παρρησίαν δίδωσιν. ὑπομιμνῃσκόμενος γὰρ ἄνευ μνησικακίας ὅτι τοὺς φίλους καὶ αὐτὸς εἰώθει μὴ περιορᾶν ἁμαρτάνοντας ἀλλʼ ἐξελέγχειν καὶ διδάσκειν, μᾶλλον ἐνδώσει καὶ παραδέξεται τὴν ἐπανόρθωσιν, ὡς οὖσαν εὐνοίας καὶ χάριτος οὐ μέμψεως ἀνταπόδοσιν οὐδʼ ὀργῆς.

[¶7] 35. Then again, as Thucydides says, “Whoever incurs unpopularity over matters of the highest importance, shows a right judgement”; so it is the duty of a friend to accept the odium that comes from giving admonition when matters of importance and of great concern are at stake. But if he is for ever bickering over everything and about everything, and approaches his acquaintance in the manner not of a friend but of a schoolmaster, his admonitions will lose their edge and effectiveness in matters of the highest importance, since, like a physician who should dole out his supply of a pungent or bitter but necessary and costly medicine by prescribing it in a great number of slight cases where it is not necessary, he will have used up his supply of frankness without result. He will, therefore, be earnestly on his guard against continual censoriousness in himself; and if another person is apt to search narrowly into everything, and keeps up a continual comment of petty accusation, this will give him the key, as it were, in opening an attack on faults that are more important. The physician Philotimus, on an occasion, when a man with an ulcerated liver showed him his finger with a whitlow on it, said, “My friend, you need not concern yourself about a sore finger.” And so, too, the right occasion gives a friend a chance to say to the man whose accusations are based on trifles of no real import, “Why dwell on playful sports and conviviality and nonsense? Let this man, my friend, but get rid of the woman he keeps, or cease gambling, and there we have a man in all else admirable.” For the man who receives indulgence in small matters is not unready to grant to his friend the right to speak frankly in regard to the greater. But the inveterate nagger, everywhere sour and unpleasant, noticing everything and officiously making it his concern, is not only intolerable to children and brothers, but is unendurable even to slaves.

> Greek: 35. ἔτι τοίνυν ὁ μὲν Θουκυδίδης φησὶν ὅστις ἐπὶ μεγίστοις τὸ ἐπίφθονον λαμβάνει, ὀρθῶς βουλεύεται· τῷ δὲ φίλῳ προσήκει τὸ ἐκ τοῦ νουθετεῖν ἐπαχθὲς ὑπὲρ μεγάλων ἀναδέχεσθαι καὶ σφόδρα διαφερόντων. ἂν δʼ ἐπὶ πᾶσι καὶ πρὸς πάντα δυσκολαίνῃ καὶ μὴ φιλικῶς ἀλλὰ παιδαγωγικῶς προσφέρηται τοῖς συνήθεσιν, ἀμβλὺς ἐν τοῖς μεγίστοις νουθετῶν ἔσται καὶ ἄπρακτος, ὥσπερ ἰατρὸς δριμὺ φάρμακον ἢ πικρὸν ἀναγκαῖον δὲ καὶ πολυτελὲς εἰς πολλὰ καὶ μικρὰ καὶ οὐκ ἀναγκαῖα διελὼν τῇ παρρησίᾳ κατακεχρημένος. αὐτὸς μὲν οὖν σφόδρα φυλάξεται τὸ συνεχὲς καὶ φιλαίτιον· ἑτέρου δὲ μικρολογουμένου περὶ πάντα καὶ παρασυκοφαντοῦντος ὥσπερ ἐνδόσιμον ἕξει πρὸς τὰ μείζονα τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων. καὶ γὰρ ἰατρὸς Φιλότιμος ἐμπύου τὸ ἧπαρ ἀνθρώπου δείξαντος αὐτῷ τὸν δάκτυλον ἡλκωμένον οὐκ ἔστι σοι εἶπεν ὦ τᾶν περὶ παρωνυχίας ὁ λόγος. οὐκοῦν καὶ τῷ φίλῳ δίδωσιν ὁ καιρὸς εἰπεῖν πρὸς τὸν ἐπὶ μικροῖς καὶ μηδενὸς ἀξίοις ἐγκαλοῦντα τί παιδιὰς καὶ πότους καὶ φλυάρους λέγομεν; οὗτος, ὦ τᾶν, ἀποπεμψάσθω τὴν ἑταίραν ἢ παυσάσθω κυβεύων, καὶ τἄλλα θαυμαστὸς ἡμῖν ἄνθρωπός ἐστιν ὁ γὰρ εἰς τὰ μικρὰ συγγνώμην λαβὼν οὐκ ἀηδῶς εἰς τὰ μείζονα τῷ φίλῳ παρρησίαν δίδωσιν· ὁ δʼ ἐγκείμενος ἀεὶ καὶ πανταχοῦ πικρὸς καὶ ἀτερπὴς καὶ πάντα γιγνώσκων καὶ πολυπραγμονῶν οὐδὲ παισὶν ἀνεκτὸς οὐδʼ ἀδελφοῖς, ἀλλὰ καὶ δούλοις ἀφόρητος.

[¶8] 36. But since, to quote Euripides, “not everything connected with old age is bad,” and the same thing holds true also of our friends’ fatuity, we ought to keep close watch upon our friends not only when they go wrong but also when they are right, and indeed the first step should be commendation cheerfully bestowed. Then later, just as steel is made compact by cooling, and takes on a temper as the result of having first been relaxed and softened by heat, so when our friends have become mollified and warmed by our commendations we should give them an application of frankness like a tempering bath. For the right occasion gives us a chance to say, “Is this conduct worthy to compare with that? Do you see what fruits honour yields? This is what we your friends demand; this befits your own character; nature intended you for this.” But those other promptings must be exorcised— “Off to the mountain or else to the surge of the loud-roaring ocean.” For as a kind-hearted physician would prefer to relieve a sick man’s ailment by sleep and diet rather than by castor and scammony, so a kindly friend, a good father, and a teacher, take pleasure in using commendation rather than blame for the correction of character. For nothing else makes the frank person give so little pain and do so much good by his words, as to refrain from all show of temper, and to approach the erring good-humouredly and with kindliness. For this reason they should not be sharply refuted when they make denial, nor prevented from defending themselves; but we should in some way or other help them to evolve some presentable excuses, and, repudiating the worse motive, provide one more tolerable ourselves, such as is found in Hector’s words to his brother: “Strange man!’Tis not right to nurse this wrath in your bosom,” as though his withdrawal from the combat were not desertion, or cowardice, but only a display of temper. And so Nestor to Agamemnon: “But you to your high-minded spirit Gave way.” For a higher moral tone, I think, is assumed in saying “You acted unbecomingly” rather than “You did wrong,” and “You were inadvertent” rather than “You were ignorant,” and “Don’t be contentious with your brother” rather than “Don’t be jealous of your brother,” and “Keep away from the woman who is trying to ruin you” rather than “Stop trying to ruin the woman.” Such is the method which frankness seeks to take when it would reclaim a wrongdoer; but to stir a man to action it tries the opposite method. For example, whenever it either becomes necessary to divert persons that are on the point of going wrong, or when we would give an earnest impulse to those who are trying to make a stand against the onset of a violent adverse impulse, or who are quite without energy and spirit for what is noble, we should turn round and ascribe their action to some unnatural or unbecoming motives. Thus Odysseus, as Sophocles represents him, in trying to rouse the spirit of Achilles, says that Achilles is not angry on account of the dinner, but “Already at the sight of builded Troy You are afraid.” And again when Achilles is exceedingly indignant at this, and says that he is for sailing away, Odysseus says “I know what ’tis you flee; not ill repute, But Hector’s near; it is not good to stay.” So by alarming the spirited and manly man with an imputation of cowardice, the chaste and orderly with an imputation of licentiousness, the liberal and lordly with an imputation of pettiness and stinginess, they give to such persons an impulse toward what is noble, and turn them away from what is disgraceful, proving themselves moderate in matters beyond remedy, and owning more to sorrow and sympathy than to blame in their frank speaking; but in efforts to prevent the commission of error and in any wrestling with the emotions they are severe, inexorable, and unremitting. For this is the right time for a resolute goodwill and genuine frankness. Blame for past deeds is a weapon which we see enemies using against each other. Whereby is confirmed the saying of Diogenes that as a matter of self-preservation, a man needs to be supplied with good friends or else with ardent enemies; for the former instruct him, and the latter take him to task. But it is better to guard against errors by following proffered advice than to repent of errors because of men’s upbraiding. This is the reason why it is necessary to treat frankness as a fine art, inasmuch as it is the greatest and most potent medicine in friendship, always needing, however, all care to hit the right occasion, and a tempering with moderation.

> Greek: 36. ἐπεὶ δʼ οὔτε τῷ γήρᾳ πάντα πρόσεστι κακὰ κατʼ Εὐριπίδην οὔτε τῇ τῶν φίλων ἀβελτερίᾳ, δεῖ μὴ μόνον ἁμαρτάνοντας ἀλλὰ καὶ κατορθοῦντας ἐπιτηρεῖν τοὺς φίλους, καὶ νὴ Δία προθύμως ἐπαινεῖν τὸ πρῶτον· εἶθʼ ὥσπερ ὁ σίδηρος πυκνοῦται τῇ περιψύξει καὶ δέχεται τὴν στόμωσιν ἀνεθεὶς πρῶτον ὑπὸ θερμότητος καὶ μαλακὸς γενόμενος, οὕτω τοῖς φίλοις διακεχυμένοις καὶ θερμοῖς οὖσιν ὑπὸ τῶν ἐπαίνων ὥσπερ βαφὴν ἀτρέμα τὴν παρρησίαν ἐπάγειν. δίδωσι γὰρ καιρὸς εἰπεῖν ἆρʼ ἄξιον ἐκεῖνα τούτοις παραβάλλειν; ὁρᾷς τὸ καλὸν οἵους καρποὺς ἀποδίδωσι; ταῦτʼ ἀπαιτοῦμεν οἱ φίλοι, ταῦτʼ ἐστὶν οἰκεῖα, πρὸς ταῦτα πέφυκας· ἐκεῖνα δʼ ἀποδιοπομπητέον
εἰς ὄρος ἢ ἐς κῦμα πολυφλοίσβοιο θαλάσσης
ὡς γὰρ ἰατρὸς εὐγνώμων βούλοιτʼ ἂν ὕπνῳ καὶ τροφῇ μᾶλλον ἢ καστορίῳ καὶ σκαμωνίῳ τὸ νόσημα λῦσαι τοῦ κάμνοντος, οὕτω καὶ φίλος ἐπιεικὴς καὶ πατὴρ χρηστὸς καὶ διδάσκαλος ἐπαίνῳ μᾶλλον ἢ ψόγῳ χαίρει πρὸς ἐπανόρθωσιν ἤθους χρώμενος οὐδὲν γὰρ ἄλλο ποιεῖ τὸν παρρησιαζόμενον ἥκιστα λυπεῖν καὶ μάλιστα θεραπεύειν ἢ τὸ φειδόμενον ὀργῆς ἐν ἤθει καὶ μετʼ εὐνοίας προσφέρεσθαι τοῖς ἁμαρτάνουσιν. ὅθεν οὔτʼ ἀρνουμένους δεῖ πικρῶς ἐξελέγχειν οὔτε κωλύειν ἀπολογουμένους, ἀλλὰ καὶ προφάσεις εὐσχήμονας ἁμωσγέπως συνεκπορίζειν καὶ τῆς χείρονος αἰτίας ἀφισταμένοις αὐτοὺς ἐνδιδόναι μετριωτέραν, ὡς ὁ Ἕκτωρ
δαιμόνιʼ, οὐ μὲν καλὰ χόλον τόνδʼ ἔνθεο θυμῷ
πρὸς τὸν ἀδελφόν, ὡς οὐκ ἀπόδρασιν οὐδὲ δειλίαν οὖσαν ἀλλʼ ὀργὴν τὴν ἐκ τῆς μάχης ἀναχώρησιν αὐτοῦ. καὶ πρὸς τὸν Ἀγαμέμνονα ὁ Νέστωρ
σὺ δὲ σῷ μεγαλήτορι θυμῷ
εἴξας.
ἠθικώτερον γὰρ οἶμαι τοῦ ἠδίκησας καὶ ἠσχημόνησας τὸ οὐκ ἐπέστησας καὶ ἠγνόησας, καὶ τὸ μὴ φιλονείκει πρὸς τὸν ἀδελφὸν ἢ τὸ μὴ φθόνει τῷ ἀδελφῷ καὶ τὸ φύγε τὴν γυναῖκα διαφθείρουσαν ἢ τὸ παῦσαι τὴν γυναῖκα διαφθείρων. τοιοῦτον γὰρ ἡ θεραπευτικὴ παρρησία ζητεῖ τρόπον, ἡ δὲ πρακτικὴ τὸν ἐναντίον. ὅταν γὰρ ἢ μέλλοντας ἁμαρτάνειν ἐκκροῦσαι δεήσῃ πρὸς ὁρμήν τινα βίαιον ἐνισταμένους ἐξ ἐναντίας φερομένην ἢ πρὸς τὰ καλὰ μαλακῶς καὶ ἀπροθύμως ἔχοντας ἐντεῖναι καὶ παρορμῆσαι θελήσωμεν, εἰς αἰτίας δεῖ περιφέρειν ἀτόπους καὶ μὴ πρεπούσας τὸ γιγνόμενον. ὡς ὁ παρὰ Σοφοκλεῖ τὸν Ἀχιλλέα παροξύνων Ὀδυσσεὺς οὔ φησιν ὀργίζεσθαι διὰ τὸ δεῖπνον, ἀλλʼ
ἤδη φησὶ τὰ Τροίας εἰσορῶν ἑδώλια
δέδοικας,
καὶ πρὸς ταῦτα πάλιν τοῦ Ἀχιλλέως διαγανακτοῦντος καὶ ἀποπλεῖν λέγοντος
ἐγᾦδʼ ὃ φεύγεις, οὐ τὸ μὴ κλύειν κακῶς,
ἀλλʼ ἐγγὺς Ἕκτωρ ἐστί· οὐ μένειν καλόν.
τὸν μὲν οὖν θυμοειδῆ καὶ ἀνδρώδη δειλίας δόξῃ, τὸν δὲ σώφρονα καὶ κόσμιον ἀκολασίας, τὸν δʼ ἐλευθέριον καὶ μεγαλοπρεπῆ μικρολογίας καὶ φιλαργυρίας δεδιττόμενοι παρορμῶσι πρὸς τὰ καλὰ καὶ τῶν αἰσχρῶν ἀπελαύνουσι, μέτριοι μὲν ἐν τοῖς ἀνηκέστοις ἐξεταζόμενοι καὶ τὸ λυπούμενον καὶ τὸ συναλγοῦν πλέον ἐν τῷ παρρησιάζεσθαι τοῦ ψέγοντος ἔχοντες, ἐν δὲ ταῖς κωλύσεσι τῶν ἁμαρτανομένων καὶ πρὸς τὰ πάθη διαμάχαις σφοδροὶ καὶ ἀπαραίτητοι καὶ συνεχεῖς ὄντες οὗτος γὰρ ὁ καιρὸς εὐνοίας ἀθρύπτου καὶ παρρησίας ἀληθινῆς ἐστι. τῷ δὲ ψέγειν τὰ πραχθέντα καὶ τοὺς ἐχθροὺς κατʼ ἀλλήλων ὁρῶμεν χρωμένους, ὥσπερ Διογένης ἔλεγεν ὅτι τῷ μέλλοντι σῴζεσθαι δεῖ φίλους ἀγαθοὺς ἢ διαπύρους ἐχθροὺς ὑπάρχειν οἱ μὲν γὰρ διδάσκουσιν, οἱ δʼ ἐλέγχουσι. βέλτιον δὲ τὰς ἁμαρτίας φυλάττεσθαι τοῖς συμβουλεύουσι πειθόμενον ἢ μετανοεῖν ἁμαρτάνοντα διὰ τοὺς κακῶς λέγοντας. καὶ διὰ τοῦτο δεῖ καὶ περὶ τὴν παρρησίαν φιλοτεχνεῖν, ὅσῳ μέγιστόν ἐστι καὶ κράτιστον ἐν φιλίᾳ φάρμακον, εὐστοχίας τε καιροῦ μάλιστα καὶ κράσεως μέτρον ἐχούσης ἀεὶ δεομένη.

[¶9] 37. Since, then, as has been said, frankness, from its very nature, is oftentimes painful to the person to whom it is applied, there is need to follow the example of the physicians; for they, in a surgical operation, do not leave the part that has been operated upon in its suffering and pain, but treat it with soothing lotions and fomentations; nor do persons that use admonition with skill simply apply its bitterness and sting, and then run away; but by further converse and gentle words they mollify and assuage, even as stone-cutters smooth and polish the portions of statues that have been previously hammered and chiselled. But the man who has been hard hit and scored by frankness, if he be left rough and tumid and uneven, will, owing to the effect of anger, not readily respond to an appeal the next time, or put up with attempts to soothe him. Therefore those who employ admonition should be particularly on their guard in this respect, and not take their leave too soon, nor allow anything painful and irritating to their acquaintances to form the final topic of conversation at an interview.

> Greek: 37. ἐπεὶ τοίνυν, ὥσπερ εἴρηται, πολλάκις ἡ παρρησία τῷ θεραπευομένῳ λυπηρὰ πέφυκε, δεῖ μιμεῖσθαι τοὺς ἰατρούς οὔτε γὰρ ἐκεῖνοι τέμνοντες ἐν τῷ πονεῖν καὶ ἀλγεῖν καταλείπουσι τὸ πεπονθός, ἀλλʼ ἐνέβρεξαν προσηνῶς καὶ κατῃόνησαν, οὔθʼ οἱ νουθετοῦντες ἀστείως τὸ πικρὸν καὶ δηκτικὸν προσβαλόντες ἀποτρέχουσιν, ἀλλʼ ὁμιλίαις ἑτέραις καὶ 12· λόγοις ἐπιεικέσιν ἐκπραΰνουσι καὶ διαχέουσιν, ὥσπερ οἱ λιθοξόοι τὰ πληγέντα καὶ περικοπέντα τῶν ἀγαλμάτων ἐπιλεαίνοντες καὶ γανοῦντες. ὁ δὲ πληγεὶς μὲν τῇ παρρησίᾳ καὶ χαραχθείς, ἀφεθεὶς δὲ τραχὺς καὶ οἰδῶν καὶ ἀνώμαλος ὑπʼ ὀργῆς δυσανάκλητος αὖθίς ἐστι καὶ δυσπαρηγόρητος. διὸ καὶ τοῦτο δεῖ παραφυλάττειν ἐν τοῖς μάλιστα τοὺς νουθετοῦντας καὶ μὴ προαπολείπειν, μηδὲ ποιεῖσθαι πέρας ὁμιλίας καὶ συνουσίας τὸ λυποῦν καὶ παροξῦνον τοὺς συνήθεις.