---
title: "Caligula · Gaius Caligula"
author: "Suetonius"
translator: "Alexander Thomson"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
section: 2 of 3
url: https://scriptura.si/works/suetonius-caligula/2/
cite: "Suetonius, tr. Alexander Thomson, Caligula · Gaius Caligula, section 2. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/suetonius-caligula/2/"
---

# Caligula · Gaius Caligula

*Suetonius, tr. Alexander Thomson*

Gaius, nicknamed Little Boot: the emperor as monster.

> Latin: ed. Maximilian Ihm, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi1348.abo014, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Alexander Thomson, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi1348.abo014.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (chapters and sections), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 2. Chapters 23–38

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/suetonius-caligula/2/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/suetonius-caligula/2/#p-N

[¶0] 23. He was unwilling to be thought or called the grandson of Agrippa, because of the obscurity of his birth; and he was offended if any one, either in prose or verse, ranked him amongst the Caesars. He said that his mother was the fruit of an incestuous commerce, maintained by Augustus with his daughter Julia. And not content with this vile reflection upon the memory of Augustus, he forbad his victories at Actium, and on the coast of Sicily, to be celebrated, as usual; affirming that they had been most pernicious and fatal to the Roman people. He called his grandmother Livia Augusta " Ulysses in a woman's dress," and had the indecency to reflect upon her in a letter to the senate, as of mean birth, and descended, by the mother's side, from a grandfather who was only one of the municipal magistrates of Fondi; whereas it is certain, from the public records, that Aufidius Lurco held high offices at Rome. His grandmother Antonia desiring a private conference with him, he refused to grant it, unless Macro, the prefect of the pretorian guards, were present. Indignities of this kind, and ill usage, were the cause of her death; but some think he also gave her poison. - Nor did he pay the smallest respect to her memory after her death, but witnessed the burning from his private apartment. His brother Tiberius, who had no expectation of any violence, was suddenly dispatched by a military tribune sent by his order for that purpose. He forced Silanus, his father-in-law, to kill himself, by cutting his throat with a razor. The pretext he alleged for these murders was, that the latter had not followed him upon his putting to sea in stormy weather, but stayed behind with the view of seizing the city, if he should perish. The other, he said, smelt of an antidote, which he had taken to prevent his being poisoned by him; whereas Silanus was only afraid of being seasick, and the disagreeableness of the voyage; and Tiberius had merely taken a medicine for an habitual cough, which was continually growing worse. As for his successor Claudius, he only saved him as a laughing-stock.

> Latin: 23. Agrippae se nepotem neque credi neque dici ob ignobilitatem eius uolebat suscensebatque, si qui uel oratione uel carmine imaginibus eum Caesarum insererent. praedicabat autem matrem suam ex incesto, quod Augustus cum Iulia filia admisisset, procreatam; ac non contentus hac Augusti insectatione Actiacas Si[n]culasque uictorias, ut funestas p. R. et calamitosas, uetuit sollemnibus feriis celebrari. Liuiam Augustam proauiam 'Vlixem stolatum' identidem appellans, etiam ignobilitatis quadam ad senatum epistula arguere ausus est quasi materno auo decurione Fundano ortam, cum publicis monumentis certum sit, Aufidium Lurconem Romae honoribus functum. auiae Antoniae secretum petenti denegauit, nisi ut interueniret Macro praefectus, ac per istius modi indignitates et taedia causa extitit mortis, dato tamen, ut quidam putant, et ueneno; nec defunctae ullum honorem habuit prospexitque e triclinio ardentem rogum. fratrem Tiberium inopinantem repente immisso tribuno militum interemit Silanum item socerum ad necem secandasque nouacula fauces compulit, causatus in utroque, quod hic ingressum se turbatius mare non esset secutus ac spe occupandi urbem, si quid sibi per tempestates accideret, remansisset, ille antidotum obol[e]uisset, quasi ad praecauenda uenena sua sumptum, cum et Silanus inpatientiam nauseae uitasset et molestiam nauigandi, et Tiberius propter assiduam et ingrauescentem tussim medicamento usus esset. nam Claudium patruum non nisi in ludibrium reseruauit.

[¶1] 24. He lived in the habit of incest with all his sisters; and at table, when much company was present, he placed each of them in turns below him, whilst his wife reclined above him. It is believed, that he deflowered one of them, Drusilla, before he had assumed the robe of manhood; and was even caught in her embraces by his grandmother Antonia, with whom they were educated together. When she was afterwards married to Cassius Longinus, a man of consular rank, he took her from him, and kept her constantly as if she were his lawful wife. In a fit of sickness, he by his will appointed her heiress both of his estate and the empire. After her death, he ordered a public mourning for her; during which it was capital for any person to laugh, use the bath, or sup with his parents, wife, or children. Being inconsolable under his affliction, he went hastily, and in the night-time, from the City; going through Campania to Syracuse, and then suddenly returned without shaving his beard, or trimming his hair. Nor did he ever afterwards, in matters of the greatest importance, not even in the assemblies of the people or before the soldiers, swear any otherwise, than "By the divinity of Drusilla." The rest of his sisters he did not treat with so much fondness or regard; but frequently prostituted them to his catamites. He therefore the more readily condemned them in the case of AEmilius Lepidus, as guilty of adultery, and privy to that conspiracy against him. Nor did he only divulge their own handwriting relative to the affair, which he procured by base and lewd means, but likewise consecrated to Mars the Avenger three swords which had been prepared to stab him, with an inscription, setting forth the occasion of their consecration.

> Latin: 24. Cum omnibus sororibus suis consuetudinem stupri fecit plenoque conuiuio singulas infra se uicissim conlocabat uxore supra cubante. ex iis Drusillam uitiasse uirginem praetextatus adhuc creditur atque etiam in concubitu eius quondam deprehensus ab Antonia auia, apud quam simul educabantur; mox Lucio Cassio Longino consulari conlocatam abduxit et in modum iustae uxoris propalam habuit; heredem quoque bonorum atque imperii aeger instituit. eadem defuncta iustitium indixit, in quo risisse lauisse cenasse cum parentibus aut coniuge liberisue capital fuit. ac maeroris impatiens, cum repente noctu profugisset ab urbe transcucurrissetque Campaniam, Syracusas petit, rursusque inde propere rediit barba capilloque promisso; nec umquam postea quantiscumque de rebus, ne pro contione quidem populi aut apud milites, nisi per numen Drusillae deierauit. reliquas sorores nec cupiditate tanta nec dignatione dilexit, ut quas saepe exoletis suis prostrauerit; quo facilius eas in causa Aemili Lepidi condemnauit quasi adulteras et insidiarum aduersus se conscias ei nec solum chirographa omnium requisita fraude ac stupro diuulgauit, sed et tres gladios in necem suam praeparatos Marti Vltori addito elogio consecrauit.

[¶2] 25. Whether in the marriage of his wives, in repudiating them, or retaining them, he acted with greater infamy, it is difficult to say. Being at the wedding of Caius with Livia Orestilla, he ordered the bride to be carried to his own house, but within a few days divorced her, and two years after banished her; because it was thought, that upon her divorce she returned to the embraces of her former husband. Some say, that being invited to the wedding-supper, he sent a message to Piso, who sat opposite to him, in these words: "Do not be too fond with my wife," and that he immediately carried her off. Next day he published a proclamation, importing, "That he had got a wife as Romulus and Augustus had done." Lollia Paulina, who was married to a man of consular rank in command of an army, he suddenly called from the province where she was with her husband, upon mention being made that her grandmother was formerly very beautiful, and married her; but he soon afterwards parted with her, interdicting her from having ever afterwards any commerce with man. He loved with a most passionate and constant affection Caesonia, who was neither handsome nor young, and was besides the mother of three daughters by another man; but a wanton of unbounded lasciviousness. Her he would frequently exhibit to the soldiers, dressed in a military cloak, with shield and helmet, and riding by his side. To his friends he even showed her naked. After she had a child, he honoured her with the title of wife; in one and the same day, declaring himself her husband, and father of the child of which she was delivered. He named it Julia Drusilla, and carrying it round the temples of all the goddesses, laid it on the lap of Minerva; to whom he recommended the care of bringing up and instructing her. He considered her as his own child for no better reason than her savage temper, which was such even in infancy, that she would attack with her nails the face and eyes of the children at play with her.

> Latin: 25. Matrimonia contraxerit turpius an dimiserit an tenuerit, non est facile discernere. Liuiam Orestillam C. Pisoni nubentem, cum ad officium et ipse uenisset, ad se deduci imperauit intraque paucos dies repudiatam biennio post relegauit, quod repetisse usum prioris mariti tempore medio uidebatur. alii tradunt adhibitum cenae nuptiali mandasse ad Pisonem contra accumbentem: 'noli uxorem meam premere,' statimque e conuiuio abduxisse secum ac proximo die edixisse: matrimonium sibi repertum exemplo Romuli et Augusti. Lolliam Paulinam, C. Memmio consulari exercitus regenti nuptam, facta mentione auiae eius ut quondam pulcherrimae, subito ex prouincia euocauit ac perductam a marito coniunxit sibi breuique missam fecit interdicto cuiusquam in perpetuum coitu. Caesoniam neque facie insigni neque aetate integra matremque iam ex alio uiro trium filiarum, sed luxuriae ac lasciuiae perditae, et ardentius et constantius amauit, ut saepe chlamyde peltaque et galea ornatam ac iuxta adequitantem militibus ostenderit, amicis uero etiam nudam. uxorio nomine dignatus est †quam enixam, uno atque eodem die professus et maritum se eius et patrem infantis ex ea natae. infantem autem, Iuliam Drusillam appellatam, per omnium dearum templa circumferens Mineruae gremio imposuit alendamque et instituendam commendauit. nec ullo firmiore indicio sui seminis esse credebat quam feritatis, quae illi quoque tanta iam tunc erat, ut infestis digitis ora et oculos simul ludentium infantium incesseret.

[¶3] 26. It would be of little importance, as well as disgusting, to add to all this an account of the manner in which he treated his relations and friends; as Ptolemy, king Juba's son, his cousin (for he was the grandson of Mark Antony by his daughter Selene ), and especially Macro himself, and Ennia likewise, by whose assistance he had obtained the empire; all of whom, for their alliance and eminent services, he rewarded with violent deaths. Nor was he more mild or respectful in his behaviour towards the senate. Some who had borne the highest offices in the government, he suffered to run by his litter in their togas for several miles together, and to attend him at supper, sometimes at the head of his couch, sometimes at his feet, with napkins. Others of them, after he had privately put them to death, he nevertheless continued to send for, as if they were still alive, and after a few days pretended that they had laid violent hands upon themselves. The consuls having forgotten to give public notice of his birth-day, he displaced them; and the republic was three days without any one in that high office. A quaestor who was said to be concerned in a conspiracy against him, he scourged severely, having first stripped off his clothes, and spread them under the feet of the soldiers employed in the work, that they might stand the more firm. The other orders likewise he treated with the same insolence and violence. Being disturbed by the noise of people taking their places at midnight in the circus, as they were to have free admission, he drove them all away with clubs. In this tumult, above twenty Roman knights were squeezed to death, with as many matrons, with a great crowd besides. - When stage-plays were acted, to occasion disputes between the people and the knights, he distributed the money-tickets sooner than usual, that the seats assigned to the knights might be all occupied by the mob. In the spectacles of gladiators, sometimes, when the sun was violently hot, he would order the curtains, which covered the amphitheatre, to be drawn aside, and forbad any person to be let out; withdrawing at the same time the usual apparatus for the entertainment, and presenting wild beasts almost pined to death, the most sorry gladiators, decrepit with age, and fit only to work the machinery, and decent house-keepers, who were remarkable for some bodily infirmity. Sometimes shutting up the public granaries, he would oblige thepeople to starve for a while.

> Latin: 26. leue ac frigidum sit his addere, quo propinquos amicosque pacto tractauerit, Ptolemaeum regis Iubae filium, consobrinum suum—erat enim et is M. Antoni ex Selene filia nepos—et in primis ipsum Macronem, ipsam Enniam. adiutores imperii: quibus omnibus pro necessitudinis iure proque meritorum gratia cruenta mors persoluta est. Nihilo reuerentior leniorue erga senatum, quosdam summis honoribus functos ad essedum sibi currere togatos per aliquot passuum milia et cenanti modo ad pluteum modo ad pedes stare succinctos linteo passus est; alios cum clam interemisset, citare nihilo minus ut uiuos perseuerauit, paucos post dies uoluntaria morte perisse mentitus. consulibus oblitis de natali suo edicere abrogauit magistratum fuitque per triduum sine summa potestate res p. quaestorem suum in coniuratione nominatum flagellauit ueste detracta subiectaque militum pedibus, quo firme uerberaturi insisterent. Simili superbia uiolentiaque ceteros tractauit ordines. inquietatus fremitu gratuita in circo loca de media nocte occupantium, omnis fustibus abegit; elisi per eum tumultum uiginti amplius equites R., totidem matronae, super innumeram turbam ceteram. scaenicis ludis, inter plebem et equitem causam discordiarum ferens, decimas maturius dabat, ut equestria ab infimo quoque occuparentur. gladiatorio munere reductis interdum flagrantissimo sole uelis emitti quemquam uetabat, remotoque ordinario apparatu tabidas feras, uilissimos senioque confectos gladiatores, †quoque paegniaris patres familiarum notos in bonam partem sed insignis debilitate aliqua corporis subiciebat. ac nonnumquam horreis praeclusis populo famem indixit.

[¶4] 27. He evinced the savage barbarity of his temper chiefly by the following indications. When flesh was only to be had at a high price for feeding his wild beasts reserved for the spectacles, he ordered that criminals should be given them to be devoured; and upon inspecting them in a row, while he stood in the middle of the portico, without troubling himself to examine their cases he ordered them to be dragged away, from "bald-pate to bald-pate." Of one person who had made a vow for his recovery to combat with a gladiator, he exacted its performance; nor would he allow him to desist until he came off conqueror, and after many entreaties. Another, who had vowed to give his life for the same cause, having shrunk from the sacrifice, he delivered, adorned as a victim, with garlands and fillets, to boys, who were to drive him through the streets, calling on him to fulfil his vow, until he was thrown headlong from the ramparts. After disfiguring many persons of honorable rank, by branding them in the face with hot irons, he condemned them to.the mines, to work in repairing the highways, or to fight with wild beasts; or tying them by the neck and heels, in the manner of beasts carried to slaughter, would shut them up in cages or saw them asunder. Nor were these severities merely inflicted for crimes of great enormity, but for making remarks on his public games, or for not having sworn by the Genius of the emperor. He compelled parents to be present at the execution of their sons; and to one who excused himself on account of indisposition he sent his own litter. Another he invited to his table immediately after he had witnessed the spectacle, and coolly challenged him to jest and be merry. He ordered the overseer of the spectacles and wild beasts to be scourged in fetters, during several days successively, in his own presence and did not put him to death until he was disgusted with the stench of his putrefied brain. He burned alive, in the centre of the arena of the amphitheatre, the writer of a farce, for some witty verse, which had a double meaning. A Roman knight, who had been exposed to the wild beasts, crying out that he was innocent, he called him back, and having had his tongue cut out, remanded him to the arena.

> Latin: 27. Saeuitiam ingenii per haec maxime ostendit. cum ad saginam ferarum muneri praeparatarum carius pecudes compararentur, ex noxiis laniandos adnotauit, et custodiarum seriem recognoscens, nullius inspecto elogio, stans tantum modo intra porticum mediam, 'a caluo ad caluum' duci imperauit. uotum exegit ab eo, qui pro salute sua gladiatoriam operam promiserat, spectauitque ferro dimicantem nec dimisit nisi uictorem et post multas preces. alterum, qui se periturum ea de causa uouerat, cunctantem pueris tradidit, uerbenatum infulatumque uotum reposcentes per uicos agerent, quoad praecipitaretur ex aggere. multos honesti ordinis deformatos prius stigmatum notis ad metalla et munitiones uiarum aut ad bestias condemnauit aut bestiarum more quadripedes cauea coercuit aut medios serra dissecuit, nec omnes grauibus ex causis, uerum male de munere suo opinatos, uel quod numquam per genium suum deierassent. parentes supplicio filiorum interesse cogebat; quorum uni ualitudinem excusanti lecticam misit, alium a spectaculo poenae epulis statim adhibuit atque omni comitate ad hilaritatem et iocos prouocauit. curatorem munerum ac uenationum per continuos dies in conspectu suo catenis uerberatum non prius occidit quam offensus putrefacti cerebri odore. Atellan[i]ae poetam ob ambigui ioci uersiculum media amphitheatri harena igni cremauit. equitem R. obiectum feris, cum se innocentem proclamasset, reduxit abscisaque lingua rursus induxit.

[¶5] 28. Asking a certain person, whom he recalled after a long exile, how he used to spend his time, he replied, with flattery, "I was always praying the gods for what has happened, that Tiberius might die and you be emperor." Concluding, therefore, that those he had himself banished also prayed for his death, he sent orders round the islands to have them put to death. Being very desirous to have a senator torn to pieces, he employed some persons to call him a public enemy, fall upon him as he entered the senate-house, stab him with their styles, and deliver him to the rest to tear asunder. Nor was he satisfied until he saw the limbs and bowels of the man, after they had been dragged through the streets, piled up in a heap before him.

> Latin: 28. reuocatum quendam a uetere exilio sciscitatus, quidnam ibi facere consuesset, respondente eo per adulationem: 'deos semper oraui ut, quod euenit, periret Tiberius et tu imperares,' opinans sibi quoque exules suos mortem imprecari, misit circum insulas, qui uniuersos contrucidarent. cum discerpi senatorem concupisset, subornauit qui ingredientem curiam repente hostem publicum appellantes inuaderent, graphisque confossum lacerandum ceteris traderent; nec ante satiatus est quam membra et artus et uiscera hominis tracta per uicos atque ante se congesta uidisset.

[¶6] 29. He aggravated his barbarous actions by language equally outrageous. "There is nothing in my nature," said he,' that I commend or approve so much as my ἀδιατρεψία (inflexible rigour)." Upon his grandmother Antonia's giving him some advice, as if it was a small matter to pay no regard to it, he said to her, "Remember that all things are lawful for me." When about to murder his brother, whom he suspected of taking antidotes against poison, he said, "See then an andidote against Caesar!" And when he banished his sisters, he told them in a menacing tone, that he had not only islands at command, but also swords. One of pretorian rank having sent several times from Anticyra, whither he had gone for his health, to have his leave of absence prolonged, he ordered him to be put to death; adding these words: "Bleeding is necessary for one that has taken hellebore so long and found no benefit." It was his custom every tenth day to sign the lists of prisoners appointed for execution; and this he called "clearing his accounts." And having condemned several Gauls and Greeks at one time, he exclaimed in triumph, "I have conquered Gallograecia."

> Latin: 29. immanissima facta augebat atrocitate uerborum. nihil magis in natura sua laudare se ac probare dicebat quam, ut ipsius uerbo utar, ἀδιατρεψίαν, hoc est inuerecundiam. monenti Antoniae auiae tamquam parum esset non oboedire: 'memento,' ait, 'omnia mihi et ⟨in⟩ omnis licere.' trucidaturus fratrem, quem metu uenenorum praemuniri medicamentis suspicabatur: 'antidotum,' inquit, 'aduersus Caesarem?' relegatis sororibus non solum insulas habere se, sed etiam gladios minabatur. praetorium uirum ex secessu Anticyrae, quam ualitudinis causa petierat, propagari sibi commeatum saepius desiderantem cum mandasset interimi, adiecit necessariam esse sanguinis missionem, cui tam diu non prodesset elleborum. decimo quoque die numerum puniendorum ex custodia subscribens rationem se purgare dicebat. Gallis Graecisque aliquot uno tempore condemnatis gloriabatur Gallograeciam se subegisse.

[¶7] 30. He generally prolonged the sufferings of his victims by causing them to be inflicted by slight and frequently repeated strokes; this being his well-known and constant order: "Strike so that he may feel himself die." Having punished one person for another, by mistaking his name, he said "he deserved it quite as much." He had frequently in his mouth these words of the tragedian: “Oderint dum metuant.” I scorn their hatred, if they do but fear me. He would often inveigh against all the senators writhout exception, as clients of Sejanus, and informers against his mother and brothers, producing the memorials which he had pretended to burn, and excusing the cruelty of Tiberius as necessary, since it was impossible to question the veracity of such a number of accusers. He continually reproached the whole equestrian order, as devoting themselves to nothing but acting on the stage, and fighting as gladiators. Being incensed at the people's applauding a party at the Circensian games in opposition to him, he exclaimed, "I wish the Roman people had but one neck." When Tetrinius, the highwayman, was denounced, he said his persecutors too were all Tetrinius's. Five Retiarii, in tunics, fighting in a company, yielded without a struggle to the same number of opponents; and being ordered to be slain, one of them taking up his lance again, killed all the conquerors. This he lamented in a proclamation as a most cruel butchery, and cursed all those who had borne the sight of it.

> Latin: 30. non temere in quemquam nisi crebris et minutis ictibus animaduerti passus est, perpetuo notoque iam praecepto: 'ita feri ut se mori sentiat.' punito per errorem nominis alio quam quem destinauerat, ipsum quoque paria meruisse dixit. tragicum illud subinde iactabat: oderint, dum metuant. saepe in cunctos pariter senatores ut Seiani clientis, ut matris ac fratrum suorum delatores, inuectus est prolatis libellis, quos crematos simulauerat, defensaque Tiberi saeuitia quasi necessaria, cum tot criminantibus credendum esset. equestrem ordinem ut scaenae harenaeque deuotum assidue proscidit. infensus turbae fauenti aduersus studium suum exclamauit: 'utinam p. R. unam ceruicem haberet!' cumque Tetrinius latro postularetur, et qui postularent, Tetrinios esse ait. retiari tunicati quinque numero gregatim dimicantes sine certamine ullo totidem secutoribus succubuerant; cum occidi iuberentur, unus resumpta fuscina omnes uictores interemit: hanc ut crudelissimam caedem et defleuit edicto et eos, qui spectare sustinuissent, execratus est.

[¶8] 31. He used to complain aloud of the state of the times, because it was not rendered remarkable by any public calamities; for, while the reign of Augustus had been made memorable to posterity by the disaster of Varus, and that of Tiberius by the fall of the theatre at Fidenae, his was likely to pass into oblivion, from an uninterrupted series of prosperity. And, at times, he wished for some terrible slaughter of his troops, a famine, a pestilence, conflagrations, or an earthquake.

> Latin: 31. queri etiam palam de condicione temporum suorum solebat, quod nullis calamitatibus publicis insignirentur; Augusti principatum clade Variana, Tiberi ruina spectaculorum apud Fidenas memorabilem factum, suo obliuionem imminere prosperitate rerum; atque identidem exercituum caedes, famem, pestilentiam, incendia, hiatum aliquem terrae optabat.

[¶9] 32. Even in the midst of his diversions, while gaming or feasting, this savage ferocity, both in his language and actions, never forsook him. Persons were often put to the torture in his presence, whilst he was dining or carousing. A soldier, who was an adept in the art of beheading, used at such times to take off the heads of prisoners, who were brought in for that purpose. At Puteoli, at the dedication of the bridge which he planned, as already mentioned, he invited a number of people to come to him from the shore, and then suddenly threw them headlong into the sea; thrusting down with poles and oars those who, to save themselves, had got hold of the rudders of the ships. At Rome, in a public feast, a slave having stolen some thin plates of silver with which the couches were inlaid, he delivered him immediately to an executioner, with orders to cut off his hands, and lead him round the guests, with them hanging from his neck before his breast, and a label, signifying the cause of his punishment. A gladiator, who was practising with him, and voluntarily threw himself at his feet, he stabbed with a poniard, and then ran about with a palm branch in his hand, after the manner of those who are victorious in the games. When a victim was to be offered upon an altar, he, clad in the habit of the Popae. and holding the axe aloft for a while, at last, instead of the animal, slaughtered an officer who attended to cut up the sacrifice. And at a sumptuous entertainment, he fell suddenly into a violent fit of laughter, and upon the consuls, who reclined next to him, respectfully asking him the occasion, "Nothing," replied he, "but that, upon a single nod of mine, you might both have your throats cut."

> Latin: 32. Animum quoque remittenti ludoque et epulis dedito eadem factorum dictorumque saeuitia aderat. saepe in conspectu prandentis uel comisantis seriae quaestiones per tormenta habebantur, miles decollandi artifex quibuscumque e custodia capita amputabat. Puteolis dedicatione pontis, quem excogitatum ab eo significauimus, cum multos e litore inuitasset ad se, repente omnis praecipitauit, quosdam gubernacula apprehendentes contis remisque detrusit in mare. Romae publico epulo seruum ob detractam lectis argenteam laminam carnifici confestim tradidit, ut manibus abscisis atque ante pectus e collo pendentibus, praecedente titulo qui causam poenae indicaret, per coetus epulantium circumduceretur. murmillonem e ludo rudibus secum battuentem et sponte prostratum confodit ferrea sica ac more uictorum cum palma discucurrit. admota altaribus uictima succinctus poparum habitu elato alte malleo cultrarium mactauit. lautiore conuiuio effusus subito in cachinnos consulibus, qui iuxta cubabant, quidnam rideret blande quaerentibus: 'quid,' inquit, 'nisi uno meo nutu iugulari utrumque uestrum statim posse?'

[¶10] 33. Among many other jests, this was one: As he stood by the statue of Jupiter, he asked Apelles, the tragedian, which of them he thought was biggest? Upon his demurring about it, he lashed him most severely, now and then commending his voice whilst he entreated for mercy, as being well modulated even when he was venting his grief. As often as he kissed the neck of his wife or mistress, he would say, "So beautiful a throat must be cut whenever I please;" and now and then he would threaten to put his dear Caesonia to the torture, that he might discover why he loved her so passionately.

> Latin: 33. inter uarios iocos, cum assistens simulacro Iouis Apellen tragoedum consuluisset uter illi maior uideretur, cunctantem flagellis discidit conlaudans subinde uocem deprecantis quasi etiam in gemitu praedulcem. quotiens uxoris uel amiculae collum exoscularetur, addebat: 'tam bona ceruix simul ac iussero demetur.' quin et subinde iactabat exquisiturum se uel fidiculis de Caesonia sua, cur eam tanto opere diligeret.

[¶11] 34. In his behaviour towards men of almost all ages, he discovered a degree of jealousy and malignity equal to that of his cruelty and pride. He so demolished and dispersed the statues of several illustrious persons, which had been removed by Augustus, for want of room, from the court of the Capitol into the Campus Martius, that it was impossible to set them up again with their inscriptions entire. And for the future, he forbad any statue whatever to be erected without his knowledge and leave. He had thoughts, too, of suppressing Homer's poems: "For why," said he, "may not I do what Plato has done before me, who excluded him from his commonwealth?" He was likewise very near banishing the writings and the busts of Virgil and Livy from all libraries: censuring one of them as a man of no genius and very little learning and the other as " a verbose and careless historian. He often talked of the lawyers as if he intended to abolish their profession. "By Hercules!" he would say, "I shall put it out of their power to answer any questions in law, otherwise than by referring to me!"

> Latin: 34. Nec minore liuore ac malignitate quam superbia saeuitiaque paene aduersus omnis aeui hominum genus grassatus est. statuas uirorum inlustrium ab Augusto ex Capitolina area propter angustias in campum Martium conlatas ita subuertit atque disiecit ut restitui saluis titulis non potuerint, uetuitque posthac uiuentium cuiquam usquam statuam aut imaginem nisi consulto et auctore se poni. cogitauit etiam de Homeri carminibus abolendis, cur enim sibi non licere dicens, quod Platoni licuisset, qui eum e ciuitate quam constituebat eiecerit? sed et Vergili[i] ac Titi Liui scripta et imagines paulum afuit quin ex omnibus bibliothecis amoueret, quorum alterum ut nullius ingenii minimaeque doctrinae, alterum ut uerbosum in historia neglegentemque carpebat. de iuris quoque consultis, quasi scientiae eorum omnem usum aboliturus, saepe iactauit se mehercule effecturum ne quid respondere possint praeter eum.

[¶12] 35. He took from the noblest persons in the city the ancient marks of distinction used by their families; as the collar from Torquatus; from Cincinnatus the curl of hair; and from Cneius Pompey the surname of the Great, belonging to that ancient family. Ptolemy, mentioned before, whom he invited from his kingdom, and received with great honours, he suddenly put to death, for no other reason, but because he observed that upon entering the theatre, at a public exhibition, he attracted the eyes of all the spectators by the splendour of his purple robe. As often as he met with handsome men, who had fine heads of hair, he would order the back of their heads to be shaved, to make them appear ridiculous. There was one Esius Proculus, the son of a centurion of the first rank, who, for his great stature and fine proportions, was called the Colossal. Him he ordered to be dragged from his seat in the arena, and matched with a gladiator in light armour, and afterwards with another completely armed; and upon his worsting them both, commanded him forthwith to be bound, to be led clothed in rags up and down the streets of the city, and, after being exhibited in that plight to the women, to be then butchered. There was no man of so abject or mean condition whose excellency in any kind he did not envy. The Rex Nemorensis having many years enjoyed the honour of the priesthood, he procured a still stronger antagonist to oppose him. One Porius, who fought in a chariot, having been victorious in an exhibition, and in his joy given freedom to a slave, was applauded so vehemently that Caligula rose in such haste from his seat that, treading upon the hem of his toga, he tumbled down the steps, full of indignation, and crying out, "A people who are masters of the world, pay greater respect to a gladiator for a trifle, than to princes admitted amongst the gods, or to my own majesty here present amongst them."

> Latin: 35. uetera familiarum insignia nobilissimo cuique ademit, Torquato torquem, Cincinnato crinem, Cn. Pompeio stirpis antiquae Magni cognomen. Ptolemaeum, de quo rettuli, et arcessitum e regno et exceptum honorifice, non alia de causa repente percussit, quam quod edente se munus ingressum spectacula conuertisse hominum oculos fulgore purpureae abollae animaduertit. pulchros et comatos, quotiens sibi occurrerent, occipitio raso deturpabat. erat Aesius Proculus patre primipilari, ob egregiam corporis amplitudinem et speciem Colosseros dictus; hunc spectaculis detractum repente et in harenam deductum Thraeci et mox hoplomacho comparauit bisque uictorem constringi sine mora iussit et pannis obsitum uicatim circumduci ac mulieribus ostendi, deinde iugulari. nullus denique tam abiectae condicionis tamque extremae sortis fuit, cuius non commodis obtrectaret. Nemorensi regi, quod multos iam annos poteretur sacerdotio, ualidiorem aduersarium subornauit. cum quodam die muneris essedario Porio post prosperam pugnam seruum suum manumittenti studiosius plausum esset, ita proripuit se spectaculis, ut calcata lacinia togae praeceps per gradus iret, indignabundus et clamitans dominum gentium populum ex re leuissima plus honoris gladiatori tribuentem quam consecratis principibus aut praesenti sibi.

[¶13] 36. He never had the least regard either to the chastity of his own person, or that of others Besides his incest with his sisters, and his notorious passion for Pyrallis, the prostitute, there was hardly any lady of distinction with whom he did not make free. He used commonly to invite them with their husbands to supper, and as they passed by the couch on which he reclined at table, examine them very closely, like those who traffic in slaves; and if any one from modesty held down her face, he raised it up with his hand. Afterwards, as often as he was in the humour, he would quit the room, send for her he liked best, and in a short time return with marks of recent disorder about them. He would then commend or disparage her in the presence of the company, recounting the charms or defects of her person and behaviour in private. To some he sent a divorce in the name of their absent husbands, and ordered it to be registered in the public acts.

> Latin: 36. Pudicitiae ⟨neque suae⟩ neque alienae pepercit. M. Lepidum, Mnesterem pantomimum, quosdam obsides dilexisse fertur commercio mutui stupri. Valerius Catullus, consulari familia iuuenis, stupratum a se ac latera sibi contubernio eius defessa etiam uociferatus est. super sororum incesta et notissimum prostitutae Pyrallidis amorem non temere ulla inlustriore femina abstinuit. quas plerumque cum maritis ad cenam uocatas praeterque pedes suos transeuntis diligenter ac lente mercantium more considerabat, etiam faciem manu adleuans, si quae pudore submitterent; quotiens deinde libuisset egressus triclinio, cum maxime placitam seuocasset, paulo post recentibus adhuc lasciuiae notis reuersus uel laudabat palam uel uituperabat, singula enumerans bona malaue corporis atque concubitus. quibusdam absentium maritorum nomine repudium ipse misit iussitque in acta ita referri.

[¶14] 37. In the devices of his profuse expenditure, he surpassed all the prodigals that ever lived; inventing a new kind of bath, with strange dishes and suppers, washing in precious unguents, both warm and cold, drinking pearls of immense value dissolved in vinegar, and serving up for his guests loaves and other victuals modelled in gold; often saying, " that a man ought either to be a good economist or an emperor." Besides, he scattered money to a prodigious amount among the people, from the top of the Julian Basilica, during several days successively. He built two ships with ten banks of oars, after the Liburnian fashion, the poops of which blazed with jewels, and the sails were of various parti-colours. They were fitted up with ample baths, galleries, and saloons, and supplied with a great variety of vines and other fruit-trees. In these he would sail in the day-time along the coast of Campania, feasting amidst dancing and concerts of music. In building his palaces and villas, there was nothing he desired to effect so much, in defiance of all reason, as what was considered impossible. Accordingly, moles were formed in the deep, and adverse sea, rocks of the hardest stone cut away, plains raised to the height of mountains with a vast mass of earth, and the tops of mountains levelled by digging; and all these were to be executed with incredible speed, for the least remissness was a capital offence. Not to mention particulars, he spent enormous sums, and the whole treasures which had been amassed by Tiberius Caesar, amounting to two thousand seven hundred millions of sesterces, within less than a year.

> Latin: 37. Nepotatus sumptibus omnium prodigorum ingenia superauit, commentus nouum balnearum usum, portentosissima genera ciborum atque cenarum, ut calidis frigidisque unguentis lauaretur, pretiosissima margarita aceto liquefacta sorberet, conuiuis ex auro panes et obsonia apponeret, aut frugi hominem esse oportere dictitans aut Caesarem. quin et nummos non mediocris summae e fastigio basilicae Iuliae per aliquot dies sparsit in plebem. fabricauit et deceris Liburnicas gemmatis puppibus, uersicoloribus uelis, magna thermarum et porticuum et tricliniorum laxitate magnaque etiam uitium et pomiferarum arborum uarietate; quibus discumbens de die inter choros ac symphonias litora Campaniae peragraret. in extructionibus praetoriorum atque uillarum omni ratione posthabita nihil tam efficere concupiscebat quam quod posse effici negaretur. et iactae itaque moles infesto ac profundo mari et excisae rupes durissimi silicis et campi montibus aggere aequati et complanata fossuris montium iuga, incredibili quidem celeritate, cum morae culpa capite lueretur. ac ne singula enumerem, immensas opes totumque illud Ti. Caesaris uicies ac septies milies sestertium non toto uertente anno absumpsit.

[¶15] 38. Having therefore quite exhausted these funds, and being in want of money, he had recourse to plundering the people, by every mode of false accusation, confiscation, and taxation, that could be invented. He declared that no one had any right to the freedom of Rome, although their ancestors had acquired it for themselves and their posterity, unless they were sons; for that none beyond that degree ought to be considered as posterity. When the grants of the Divine Julius and Augustus were produced to him, he only said, that he was very sorry that they were obsolete and out of date. He also charged all those with making false returns, who, after the taking of the census, had by any means whatever increased their property. He annulled the wills of all who had been centurions of the first rank, as testimonies of their base ingratitude, if from the beginning of Tiberius's reign they had not left either that prince or himself their heir. He also set aside the wills of all others, if any person only pretended to say, that they designed at their death to leave Caesar their heir. The public becoming terrified at this proceeding, he was now appointed joint-heir with their friends, and in the case of parents with their children, by persons unknown to him. Those who lived any considerable time after making such a will, he said, were only making game of him; and accordingly he sent many of them poisoned cakes. He used to try such causes himself; fixing previously the sum he proposed to raise during the sitting, and, after he had secured it, quitting the tribunal. Impatient of the least delay, he condemned by a single sentence forty persons, against whom there were different charges; boasting to Caesonia when she awoke, "how much business he had dispatched while she was taking her mid-day sleep." He exposed to sale by auction, the remains of the apparatus used in the public spectacles; and exacted such biddings, and raised the prices so high, that some of the purchasers were ruined, and bled themselves to death. There is a well-known story told of Aponius Saturninae, who happening to fall asleep as he sat on a bench at the sale, Caius called out to the auctioneer, not to overlook the praetorian personage who nodded to him so often; and accordingly the salesman went on, pretending to take the nods for tokens of assent, until thirteen gladiators were knocked down to him at the sum of nine millions of sesterces, he being in total ignorance of what was doing.

> Latin: 38. Exhaustus igitur atque egens ad rapinas conuertit animum uario et exquisitissimo calumniarum et auctionum et uectigalium genere. negabat iure ciuitatem Romanam usurpare eos, quorum maiores sibi posterisque eam impetrassent, nisi si filii essent, neque enim intellegi debere 'posteros' ultra hunc gradum; prolataque Diuorum Iuli et Augusti diplomata ut uetera et obsoleta deflabat. arguebat et perperam editos census, quibus postea quacumque de causa quicquam incrementi accessisset. testamenta primipilarium, qui ab initio Tiberi principatus neque illum neque se heredem reliquissent, ut ingrata rescidit; item ceterorum ut irrita et uana, quoscumque quis diceret herede Caesare mori destinasse. quo metu iniecto cum iam et ab ignotis inter familiares et a parentibus inter liberos palam heres nuncuparetur, derisores uocabat, quod post nuncupationem uiuere perseuerarent, et multis uenenatas matteas misit. cognoscebat autem de talibus causis, taxato prius modo summae ad quem conficiendum consideret, confecto demum excitabatur. ac ne paululum quidem morae patiens super quadraginta reos quondam ex diuersis criminibus una sententia condemnauit gloriatusque est expergefacta e somno Caesonia quantum egisset, dum ea meridiaret. Auctione proposita reliquias omnium spectaculorum subiecit ac uenditauit, exquirens per se pretia et usque eo extendens, ut quidam immenso coacti quaedam emere ac bonis exuti uenas sibi inciderent. nota res est, Aponio Saturnino inter subsellia dormitante, monitum a Gaio praeconem ne praetorium uirum crebro capitis motu nutantem sibi praeteriret, nec licendi finem factum, quoad tredecim gladiatores sestertium nonagies ignoranti addicerentur.