69. With respect to the charge or imputation of loathsome impurity before-mentioned, he very easily refuted it by the chastity of his life, at the very time when it was made, as well as ever afterwards. His conduct likewise gave the lie to that of luxurious extravagance in his furniture, when, upon the taking of Alexandria, he reserved for himself nothing of the royal treasures but a porcelain cup, and soon afterwards melted down all the vessels of gold, even such as were intended for common use. But his amorous propensities never left him, and, as he grew older, as is reported, he was in the habit of debauching young girls, who were procured for him, from all quarters, even by his own wife. To the observations on his gaming, he paid not the smallest regard; but played in public, but purely for his diversion, even when he was advanced in years; and not only in the month of December, but at other times, and upon all days, whether festivals or not. This evidently appears from a letter under his own hand, in which he says, "I supped, my dear Tiberius, with the same company. We had, besides, Vinicius, and Silvius the father. We gamed at supper like old fellows, both yesterday and to-day. And as any one threw upon the tali aces or sixes, he put down for every talus a denarius; all which was gained by him who threw a Venus." In another letter, he says: "We had, my dear Tiberius, a pleasant time of it during the festival of Minerva: for we played every day, and kept the gaming-board warm. Your brother uttered many exclamations at a desperate run of ill-fortune; but recovering by degrees, and unexpectedly, he in the end lost not much. I lost twenty thousand sesterces for my part; but then I was profusely generous in my play, as I commonly am; for had I insisted upon the stakes which I declined, or kept what I gave away, I should have won about fifty thousand. But this I like better: for it will raise my character for generosity to the skies." In a letter to his daughter, he writes thus. "I have sent you two hundred and fifty denarii, which I gave to every one of my guests; in case they were inclined at supper to divert themselves with the Tali, or at the game of Even-or-Odd."
69. adulteria quidem exercuisse ne amici quidem negant, excusantes sane non libidine, sed ratione commissa, quo facilius consilia aduersariorum per cuiusque mulieres exquireret. M. Antonius super festinatas Liuiae nuptias obiecit et feminam consularem e triclinio uiri coram in cubiculum abductam, rursus in conuiuium rubentibus auriculis incomptiore capillo reductam; dimissam Scriboniam, quia liberius doluisset nimiam potentiam paelicis; condiciones quaesitas per amicos, qui matres familias et adultas aetate uirgines denudarent atque perspicerent, tamquam Toranio mangone uendente. scribit etiam ad ipsum haec familiariter adhuc necdum plane inimicus aut hostis: 'quid te mutauit? quod reginam ineo? uxor mea est. nunc coepi an abhinc annos nouem? tu deinde solam Drusillam inis? ita ualeas, uti tu, hanc epistulam cum leges, non inieris Tertullam aut Terentillam aut Rufillam aut Saluiam Titiseniam aut omnes. an refert, ubi et in qua arrigas?'
70. In other matters, it appears that he was moderate in his habits, and free from suspicion of any kind of vice. He lived at first near the Roman Forum, above the Ring-maker's Stairs, in a house which had once been occupied by Calvus the orator. He afterwards moved to the Palatine Hill, where he resided in a small house belonging to Hortensius, no way remarkable either for size or ornament; the piazzas being but small, the pillars of Alban stone, and the rooms without any thing of marble, or fine paving. He continued to use the same bed-chamber, both winter and summer, during forty years: for though he was sensible that the city did not agree with his health in the winter, he nevertheless resided constantly in it during that season. If at any time he wished to be perfectly retired, and secure from interruption, he shut himself up in an apartment at the top of his house, which he called his Syracuse or Τεχνόφυον or he went to some villa belonging to his freedmen near the city. But when he was indisposed, he commonly took up his residence in the house of Maecenas. Of all the places of retirement from the city, he chiefly frequented those upon the seacoast, and the islands of Campania, or the towns nearest the city, such as Lanuvium, Praeneste, and Tibur, where he often used to sit for the administration of justice, in the porticos of the temple of Hercules. He had a particular aversion to large and sumptuous palaces; and some which had been raised at a vast expense by his grand-daughter, Julia, he leveled to the ground. Those of his own, which were far from being spacious, he adorned, not so much with statues and pictures, as with walks and groves, and things which were curious either for their antiquity or rarity; such as, at Capri, the huge limbs of sea-monsters and wild beasts, which some affect to call the bones of giants; and also the arms of ancient heroes.
70. Cena quoque eius secretior in fabulis fuit, quae uulgo δωδεκάθεος uocabatur; in qua deorum dearumque habitu discubuisse conuiuas et ipsum pro Apolline ornatum non Antoni modo epistulae singulorum nomina amarissime enumerantis exprobrant, sed et sine auctore notissimi uersus:cum primum istorum conduxit mensa choragum,sexque deos uidit Mallia sexque deas,impia dum Phoebi Caesar mendacia ludit,dum noua diuorum cenat adulteria:omnia se a terris tunc numina declinarunt,fugit et auratos Iuppiter ipse thronos.auxit cenae rumorem summa tunc in ciuitate penuria ac fames, adclamatumque est postridie: omne frumentum deos comedisse et Caesarem esse plane Apollinem, sed Tortorem, quo cognomine is deus quadam in parte urbis colebatur. notatus est et ut pretiosae supellectilis Corinthiorumque praecupidus et aleae indulgens. nam et proscriptionis tempore ad statuam eius ascriptum est:pater argentarius, ego Corinthiarius, cum existimaretur quosdam propter uasa Corinthia inter proscriptos curasse referendos; et deinde bello Siciliensi epigramma uulgatum est:postquam bis classe uictus naues perdidit,aliquando ut uincat, ludit assidue aleam.
71. His frugality in the furniture of his house appears even at this day, from some beds and tables still remaining, most of which are scarcely elegant enough for a private family. It is reported that he never lay upon a bed, but such as was low, and meanly furnished. He seldom wore any garment but what was made by the hands of his wife, sister, daughter, and grand-daughters. His togas were neither scanty nor full; and the clavus was neither remarkably broad or narrow. His shoes were a little higher than common, to make him appear taller than he was. He had always clothes and shoes, fit to appear in public, ready in his bed-chamber for any sudden occasion. At his table which was always plentiful and elegant, he constantly entertained company; but was very scrupulous in the choice of them, both as to rank and character. Valerius Messala informs us, that he never admitted any freedmen to his table, except Menas, when rewarded with the privilege of citizenship, for betraying Pompey's fleet. He writes, himself, that he invited to his table a person in whose villa he lodged, and who had formerly been employed by him as a spy. He often came late to table, and withdrew early; so that the company began supper before his arrival, and continued at table after his departure. His entertainments consisted of three entries, or at most of only six. But if his fare was moderate, his courtesy was extreme. For those who were silent, or talked in whispers, he encouraged to join in the general conversation; and introduced buffoons and stage players, or even low performers from the circus, and very often itinerant humourists, to enliven the company. Festivals and holidays he usually celebrated very expensively, but sometimes only with merriment. In the Saturnalia, or at any other time when the fancy took him, he distributed to his company clothes, gold and silver; sometimes coins of all sorts, even of the ancient kings of Rome and of foreign nations; sometimes nothing but towels, sponges, rakes, and tweezers, and other things of that kind, with tickets on them, which were enigmatical, and had a double meaning. He used likewise to sell by lot among his guests articles of very unequal value, and pictures with their fronts reversed; and so, by the unknown quality of the lot, disappoint or gratify the expectation of the purchasers. This sort of traffic went round the whole company, every one being obliged to buy something, and to run the chance of loss or gain with the rest.
71. ex quibus siue criminibus siue maledictis infamiam impudicitiae facillime refutauit et praesentis et posterae uitae castitate; item lautitiarum inuidiam, cum et Alexandria capta nihil sibi praeter unum murrinum calicem ex instrumento regio retinuerit et mox uasa aurea assiduissimi usus conflauerit omnia. circa libidines haesit, postea quoque, ut ferunt, ad uitiandas uirgines promptior, quae sibi undique etiam ab uxore conquirerentur. aleae rumorem nullo modo expauit lusitque simpliciter et palam oblectamenti causa etiam senex ac praeterquam Decembri mense aliis quoque festis et profestis diebus. nec id dubium est. autographa quadam epistula: 'cenaui,' ait, 'mi Tiberi, cum isdem; accesserunt conuiuae Vinicius et Silius pater. inter cenam lusimus geronticos et heri et hodie; talis enim iactatis, ut quisque canem aut senionem miserat, in singulos talos singulos denarios in medium conferebat, quos tollebat uniuersos, qui Venerem iecerat.' et rursus aliis litteris: 'nos, mi Tiberi, Quinquatrus satis iucunde egimus; lusimus enim per omnis dies forumque aleatorum calfecimus. frater tuus magnis clamoribus rem gessit; ad summam tamen perdidit non multum, sed ex magnis detrimentis praeter spem paulatim retractum est. ego perdidi uiginti milia nummum meo nomine, sed cum effuse in lusu liberalis fuissem, ut soleo plerumque. nam si quas manus remisi cuique exegissem aut retinuissem quod cuique donaui, uicissem uel quinquaginta milia. sed hoc malo; benignitas enim mea me ad caelestem gloriam efferet.' scribit ad filiam: 'misi tibi denarios ducentos quinquaginta, quos singulis conuiuis dederam, si uellent inter se inter cenam uel talis uel par impar ludere.' In ceteris partibus uitae continentissimum constat ac sine suspicione ullius uitii. habitauit primo iuxta Romanum forum supra Scalas anularias, in domo quae Calui oratoris fuerat; postea in Palatio, sed nihilo minus aedibus modicis Hortensianis, et neque laxitate neque cultu conspicuis, ut in quibus porticus breues essent Albanarum columnarum et sine marmore ullo aut insigni pauimento conclauia. ac per annos amplius quadraginta eodem cubiculo hieme et aestate mansit, quamuis parum salubrem ualitudini suae urbem hieme experiretur assidueque in urbe hiemaret. si quando quid secreto aut sine interpellatione agere proposuisset, erat illi locus in edito singularis, quem Syracusas et technyphion uocabat: huc transibat aut in alicuius libertorum suburbanum; aeger autem in domo Maecenatis cubabat. ex secessibus praecipue frequentauit maritima insulasque Campaniae aut proxima urbi oppida, Lanuuium, Praeneste, Tibur, ubi etiam in porticibus Herculis templi persaepe ius dixit. ampla et operosa praetoria grauabatur. et neptis quidem suae Iuliae, profuse ab ea extructa, etiam diruit ad solum, sua uero quamuis modica non tam statuarum tabularumque pictarum ornatu quam xystis et nemoribus excoluit rebusque uetustate ac raritate notabilibus, qualia sunt Capreis immanium beluarum ferarumque membra praegrandia, quae dicuntur gigantum ossa, et arma heroum. instrumenti eius et supellectilis parsimonia apparet etiam nunc residuis lectis atque mensis, quorum pleraque uix priuatae elegantiae sint. ne toro quidem cubuisse aiunt nisi humili et modice instrato. ueste non temere alia quam domestica usus est, ab sorore et uxore et filia neptibusque confecta; togis neque restrictis neque fusis, clauo nec lato nec angusto, calciamentis altiusculis, ut procerior quam erat uideretur. et forensia autem et calceos numquam non intra cubiculum habuit ad subitos repentinosque casus parata.
74. He ate sparingly (for I must not omit even this), and commonly used a plain diet. He was particularly fond of coarse bread, small fishes, new cheese made of cow's milk, and green figs of the sort which bear fruit twice a year. He did not wait for supper, but took food at any time, and in any place, when he had an appetite. The following passages relative to this subject, I have transcribed from his letters. " I ate a little bread and some small dates, in my carriage." Again. " In returning home from the palace in my litter, I ate an ounce of bread, and a few raisins." Again: "No Jew, my dear Tiberius, ever keeps such strict fast upon the Sabbath, as I have to-day; for while in the bath, and after the first hour of the night, I only ate two biscuits, before I began to be rubbed with oil." From this great indifference about his diet, he sometimes supped by himself, before his company began, or after they had finished, and would not touch a morsel at table with his guests.
74. Conuiuabatur assidue nec umquam nisi recta, non sine magno ordinum hominumque dilectu. Valerius Messala tradit, neminem umquam libertinorum adhibitum ab eo cenae excepto Mena, sed asserto in ingenuitatem post proditam Sexti Pompei classem. ipse scribit, inuitasse se quondam, in cuius uilla maneret, qui speculator suus olim fuisset. conuiuia nonnumquam et serius inibat et maturius relinquebat, cum conuiuae et cenare inciperent, prius quam ille discumberet, et permanerent digresso eo. cenam ternis ferculis aut cum abundantissime senis praebebat, ut non nimio sumptu, ita summa comitate. nam et ad communionem sermonis tacentis uel summissim fabulantis prouocabat, et aut acroamata et histriones aut etiam triuiales ex circo ludios interponebat ac frequentius aretalogos.
75. He was by nature extremely sparing in the use of wine. Cornelius Nepos says, that he used to drink only three times at supper in the camp of Modena; and when he indulged himself the most, he never exceeded a pint; or if he did his stomach rejected it. Of all wines, he gave the preference to the Rhaetian, but scarcely ever drank any in the day-time. Instead of drinking, he used to take a piece of bread dipped in cold water, or a slice of cucumber, or some leaves of lettuce, or a green, sharp, juicy apple.
75. Festos et sollemnes dies profusissime, nonnumquam tantum ioculariter celebrabat. Saturnalibus, et si quando alias libuisset, modo munera diuidebat, uestem et aurum et argentum, modo nummos omnis notae, etiam ueteres regios ac peregrinos, interdum nihil praeter cilicia et spongias et rutabula et forpices atque alia id genus titulis obscuris et ambiguis. solebat et inaequalissimarum rerum sortes et auersas tabularum picturas in conuiuio uenditare incertoque casu spem mercantium uel frustrari uel explere, ita ut per singulos lectos licitatio fieret et seu iactura seu lucrum communicaretur.
76. After a slight repast at noon, he used to seek repose, dressed as he was, and with his shoes on, his feet covered, and his hand held before his eyes. After supper he commonly withdrew to his study, a small closet, where he sat late, until he had put down in his diary all or most of the remaining transactions of the day, which he had not before registered. He would then go to bed, but never slept above seven hours at most, and that not without interruption; for he would wake three or four times during that time. If he could not again fall asleep, as sometimes happened, he called for some one to read or tell stories to him, until he became drowsy, and then his sleep was usually protracted till after day-break. He never liked to lie awake in the dark, without somebody to sit by him. Very early rising was apt to disagree with him. On which account, if he was obliged to rise betimes, for any civil or religious functions, in order to guard as much as possible against the inconvenience resulting from it, he used to lodge in some apartment near the spot, belonging to any of his attendants. If at any time a fit of drowsiness seized him in passing along the streets, his litter was set down while he snatched a few moments' sleep.
76. cibi—nam ne haec quidem omiserim—minimi erat atque uulgaris fere. secundarium panem et pisciculos minutos et caseum bibulum manu pressum et ficos uirides biferas maxime appetebat; uescebaturque et ante cenam quocumque tempore et loco, quo stomachus desiderasset. uerba ipsius ex epistulis sunt: 'nos in essedo panem et palmulas gustauimus.' et iterum: 'dum lectica ex regia domum redeo, panis unciam cum paucis acinis uuae duracinae comedi.' et rursus: 'ne Iudaeus quidem, mi Tiberi, tam diligenter sabbatis ieiunium seruat quam ego hodie seruaui, qui in balineo demum post horam primam noctis duas buccas manducaui prius quam ungui inciperem.' ex hac inobseruantia nonnumquam uel ante initum uel post dimissum conuiuium solus cenitabat, cum pleno conuiuio nihil tangeret.
77. In person he was handsome and graceful through every period of his life. But he was negligent in his dress; and so careless about dressing his hair, that he usually had it done in great haste, by several barbers at a time. His beard he sometimes clipped, and sometimes shaved; and either read or wrote during the operation. His countenance, either when discoursing or silent, was so calm and serene, that a Gaul of the first rank declared amongst his friends, that he was so softened by it, as to be restrained from throwing him down a precipice, in his passage over the Alps, when he had been admitted to approach him, under pretence of conferring with him. His eyes were bright and piercing; and he was willing it should be thought that there was something of a divine vigour in them. He was likewise not a little pleased to see people, upon his looking stedfastly at them, lower their countenances, as if the sun shone in their eyes. But in his old age, he saw very imperfectly with his left eye. His teeth were thin set, small and scaly, his hair a little curled, and inclining to a yellow colour. His eye-brows met; his ears were small, and he had an aquiline nose. His complexion was betwixt brown and fair; his stature but low; though Julius Marathus, his freedman, says he was five feet and nine inches in height. This, however, was so much concealed by the just proportion of his limbs, that it was only perceivable upon comparison with some taller person standing by him. He is said to have been born with many spots upon his breast and belly, answering to the figure, order, and number of the stars in the constellation of the Bear. He had besides several callosities resembling scars, occasioned by an itching in his body, and the constant and violent use of the strigil in being rubbed. He had a weakness in his left hip, thigh, and leg, insomuch that he often halted on that side; but he received much benefit from the use of sand and reeds. He likewise sometimes found the fore-finger of his right hand so weak, that when it was benumbed and contracted with cold, to use it in writing, he was obliged to have recourse to a circular piece of horn. He had occasionally a complaint in the bladder; but upon voiding some stones in his urine, he was relieved from that pain.
77. uini quoque natura parcissimus erat. non amplius ter bibere eum solitum super cenam in castris apud Mutinam, Cornelius Nepos tradit. postea quotiens largissime se inuitaret, senos sextantes non excessit, aut si excessisset, reiciebat. et maxime delectatus est Raetico neque temere interdiu bibit. pro potione sumebat perfusum aqua frigida panem aut cucumeris frustum uel lactuculae thyrsum aut recens aridumue pomum suci uinosioris. Post cibum meridianum, ita ut uestitus calciatusque erat, retectis pedibus paulisper conquiescebat opposita ad oculos manu. a cena in lecticulam se lucubratoriam recipiebat; ibi, donec residua diurni actus aut omnia aut ex maxima parte conficeret, ad multam noctem permanebat. in lectum inde transgressus non amplius cum plurimum quam septem horas dormiebat, ac ne eas quidem continuas, sed ut in illo temporis spatio ter aut quater expergisceretur. si interruptum somnum reciperare, ut euenit, non posset, lectoribus aut fabulatoribus arcessitis resumebat producebatque ultra primam saepe lucem. nec in tenebris uigilauit umquam nisi assidente aliquo. matutina uigilia offendebatur; ac si uel officii uel sacri causa maturius uigilandum esset, ne id contra commodum faceret, in proximo cuiuscumque domesticorum cenaculo manebat. sic quoque saepe indigens somni, et dum per uicos deportaretur et deposita lectica inter aliquas moras condormiebat.
79. During the whole course of his life, he suffered, at times, dangerous fits of sickness, especially after the conquest of Cantabria; when his liver being injured by a defluxion upon it, he was reduced to such a condition, that he was obliged to undergo a desperate and doubtful method of cure: for warm applications having no effect, Antonius Musa directed the use of those which were cold. He was likewise subject to fits of sickness at stated times every year; for about his birth-day he was commonly a little indisposed. In the beginning of spring, he was attacked with an inflation of the midriff; and when the wind was southerly, with a cold in his head. By all these complaints, his constitution was so shattered, that he could not easily bear either heat or cold. In the winter, he was protected against the inclemency of the weather by a thick toga, four tunics, a shirt, a flannel stomacher, and swathings upon his legs and thighs. In summer, he lay with the doors of his bedchamber open, and frequently in a piazza, refreshed by a bubbling fountain, and a person standing by to fan him. He could not bear even the winter's sun; and at home, never walked in the open air without a broad-brimmed hat on his head. He usually travelled in a litter, and by night; and so slow, that he was two days in going to Praeneste or Tibur. And if he could go to any place by sea, he preferred that mode of travelling. He carefully nourished his health against his many infirmities, avoiding chiefly the free use of the bath; but he was often rubbed with oil, and sweated in a stove; after which he was washed with tepid water, warmed either by a fire, or by being exposed to the heat of the sun. When, upon account of his nerves, he was obliged to have recourse to sea-water, or the waters of Albula, he was contented with sitting over a wooden tub, which he called by a Spanish name Dureta, and plunging his hands and feet in the water by turns.
79. Forma fuit eximia et per omnes aetatis gradus uenustissima, quamquam et omnis lenocinii neglegens; in capite comendo tam incuriosus, ut raptim compluribus simul tonsoribus operam daret ac modo tonderet modo raderet barbam eoque ipso tempore aut legeret aliquid aut etiam scriberet. uultu erat uel in sermone uel tacitus adeo tranquillo serenoque, ut quidam e primoribus Galliarum confessus sit inter suos, eo se inhibitum ac remollitum, quo minus, ut destinarat, in transitu Alpium per simulationem conloquii propius admissus in praecipitium propelleret. oculos habuit claros ac nitidos, quibus etiam existimari uolebat inesse quiddam diuini uigoris, gaudebatque, si qui sibi acrius contuenti quasi ad fulgorem solis uultum summitteret; sed in senecta sinistro minus uidit; dentes raros et exiguos et scabros; capillum leuiter inflexum et subflauum; supercilia coniuncta; mediocres aures; nasum et a summo eminentiorem et ab imo deductiorem; colorem inter aquilum candidumque; staturam breuem,—quam tamen Iulius Marathus libertus †etiam memoriam eius quinque pedum et dodrantis fuisse tradit—, sed quae commoditate et aequitate membrorum occuleretur, ut non nisi ex comparatione astantis alicuius procerioris intellegi posset. Corpore traditur maculoso dispersis per pectus atque aluum genetiuis notis in modum et ordinem ac numerum stellarum caelestis ursae, sed et callis quibusdam ex prurigine corporis adsiduoque et uehementi strigilis usu plurifariam concretis ad impetiginis formam. coxendice et femore et crure sinistro non perinde ualebat, ut saepe etiam inclaudicaret; sed remedio harenarum atque harundinum confirmabatur. dextrae quoque manus digitum salutarem tam imbecillum interdum sentiebat, ut torpentem contractumque frigore uix cornei circuli supplemento scripturae admoueret. questus est et de uesica, cuius dolore calculis demum per urinam eiectis leuabatur.
81. As soon as the civil wars were ended, he gave up riding and other military exercises in the Campus Martius, and took to playing at ball, or foot-ball; but soon afterwards used no other exercise than that of going abroad in his litter, or walking. Towards the end of his walk, he would run leaping, wrapped up in a short cloak or cape. For amusement, he would sometimes angle, or play with dice, pebbles, or nuts, with little boys, collected from various countries, and particularly Moors and Syrians, for their beauty or amusing talk. But dwarfs, and such as were in any way deformed, he held in abhorrence, as lusus naturae (nature's abortions), and of evil omen.
81. Graues et periculosas ualitudines per omnem uitam aliquot expertus est; praecipue Cantabria domita, cum etiam destillationibus iocinere uitiato ad desperationem redactus contrariam et ancipitem rationem medendi necessario subiit: quia calida fomenta non proderant, frigidis curari coactus auctore Antonio Musa. Quasdam et anniuersarias ac tempore certo recurrentes experiebatur; nam sub natalem suum plerumque languebat; et initio ueris praecordiorum inflatione temptabatur, austrinis autem tempestatibus grauedine. quare quassato corpore neque frigora neque aestus facile tolerabat.
82. From early youth he devoted himself with great diligence and application to the study of eloquence, and the other liberal arts. In the war of Modena, notwithstanding the weighty affairs in which he was engaged, he is said to have read, written, and declaimed every day. He never addressed the senate, the people, or the army, but in a premeditated speech, though he did not want the talent of speaking extempore on the spur of the occasion. And lest his memory should fail him, as well as to prevent the loss of time in getting up his speeches, it was his general practice to recite them. In his intercourse with individuals, and even with his wife Livia, upon subjects of importance he wrote on his tablets all he wished to express, lest, if he spoke extempore, he should say more or less than was proper. He delivered himself in a sweet and peculiar tone, in which he was diligently instructed by a master of elocution. But when he had a cold, he sometimes employed a herald to deliver his speeches to the people.
82. hieme quaternis cum pingui toga tunicis et subucula et thorace laneo et feminalibus et tibialibus muniebatur, aestate apertis cubiculi foribus ac saepe in peristylo saliente aqua atque etiam uentilante aliquo cubabat. solis uero ne hiberni quidem patiens, domi quoque non nisi petasatus sub diuo spatiabatur. itinera lectica et noctibus fere eaque lenta ac minuta faciebat, ut Praeneste uel Tibur biduo procederet; ac si quo peruenire mari posset, potius nauigabat. uerum tantam infirmitatem magna cura tuebatur, in primis lauandi raritate; unguebatur enim saepius aut sudabat ad flammam, deinde perfundebatur egelida aqua uel sole multo tepefacta. at quotiens neruorum causa marinis Albulisque calidis utendum esset, contentus hoc erat ut insidens ligneo solio, quod ipse Hispanico uerbo duretam uocabat, manus ac pedes alternis iactaret.
83. He composed many tracts in prose on various subjects, some of which he read occasionally in the circle of his friends, as to an auditory. Among these was his "Rescript to Brutus respecting Cato." Most of the pages he read himself, although he was advanced in years, but becoming fatigued, he gave the rest to Tiberius to finish. He likewise read over to his friends his "Exhortations to Philosophy," and the "History of his own Life," which he continued in thirteen books, as far as the Cantabrian war, but no farther. He likewise made some attempts at poetry. There is extant one book written by him in hexameter verse, of which both the subject and title is "Sicily." There is also a book of Epigrams, no larger than the last, which he composed almost entirely while he was in the bath. These are all his poetical compositions: for though he begun a tragedy with great zest, becoming dissatisfied with the style, he obliterated the whole; and his friends saying to him, "What is your Ajax doing?" he answered, "My Ajax met with a sponge."
83. Exercitationes campestres equorum et armorum statim post ciuilia bella omisit et ad pilam primo folliculumque transiit, mox nihil aliud quam uectabatur et deambulabat, ita ut in extremis spatiis subsultim decurreret †sestertio uel lodicula inuolutus. animi laxandi causa modo piscabatur hamo, modo talis aut ocellatis nucibusque ludebat cum pueris minutis, quos facie et garrulitate amabilis undique conquirebat, praecipue Mauros et Syros. nam pumilos atque distortos et omnis generis eiusdem ut ludibria naturae malique ominis abhorrebat.
84. He cultivated a style which was neat and chaste, avoiding frivolous or harsh language, as well as obsolete words, which he calls disgusting. His chief object was to deliver his thoughts with all possible perspicuity. To attain this end, and that he might nowhere perplex, or retard the reader or hearer, he made no scruple to add prepositions to his verbs, or to repeat the same conjunction several times; which, when omitted, occasion some little obscurity, but give a grace to the style. Those who used affected language, or adopted obsolete words, he despised, as equally faulty, though in different ways. He sometimes indulged himself in jesting, particularly with his friend Maecenas, whom he rallied upon all occasions for his fine phrases, and bantered by imitating his way of talking. Nor did he spare Tiberius, who was fond of obsolete and far-fetched expressions. He charges Mark Antony with insanity, writing rather to make men stare, than to be understood; and by way of sarcasm upon his depraved and fickle taste in the choice of words, he writes to him thus: "And are you yet in doubt, whether Cimber Annius or Veranius Flaccus be more proper for your imitation? Whether you will adopt words which Sallustius Crispus has borrowed from the Origines' of Cato? Or do you think that the verbose empty bombast of Asiatic orators is fit to be transfused into our language?" And in a letter where he commends the talent of his grand-daughter, Agrippina, he says, "But you must be particularly careful, both in writing and speaking, to avoid affectation."
84. Eloquentiam studiaque liberalia ab aetate prima et cupide et laboriosissime exercuit. Mutinensi bello in tanta mole rerum et legisse et scripsisse et declamasse cotidie traditur. nam deinceps neque in senatu neque apud populum neque apud milites locutus est umquam nisi meditata et composita oratione, quamuis non deficeretur ad subita extemporali facultate. ac ne periculum memoriae adiret aut in ediscendo tempus absumeret, instituit recitare omnia. sermones quoque cum singulis atque etiam cum Liuia sua grauiores non nisi scriptos et e libello habebat, ne plus minusue loqueretur ex tempore. pronuntiabat dulci et proprio quodam oris sono dabatque assidue phonasco operam; sed nonnumquam infirmatis faucibus praeconis uoce ad populum contionatus est.
85. In ordinary conversation, he made use of several peculiar expressions, as appears from letters in his own hand-writing; in which, now and then, when he means to intimate that some persons would never pay their debts, he says, "They will pay at the Greek Calends." And when he advised patience in the present posture of affairs, he would say, "Let us be content with our Cato." To describe anything in haste, he said, "It was sooner done than asparagus is cooked." He constantly puts baceolus for stultus, pullejaceus for pullus, vacerrosus for cerritus, vapide se habere for male, and betizare for languere, which is commonly called lachanizare. Likewise simus for sumus, domos for domus in the genitive singular. With respect to the last two peculiarities, lest any person should imagine that they were only slips of his pen, and not customary with him, he never varies. I have likewise remarked this singularity in his hand-writing: he never divides his words, so as to carry the letters which cannot be inserted at the end of a line to the next, but puts them below the other, enclosed by a bracket.
85. Multa uarii generis prosa oratione composuit, ex quibus nonnulla in coetu familiarium uelut in auditorio recitauit, sicut 'rescripta Bruto de Catone,' quae uolumina cum iam senior ex magna parte legisset, fatigatus Tiberio tradidit perlegenda; item 'hortationes ad philosophiam,' et aliqua 'de uita sua,' quam tredecim libris Cantabrico tenus bello nec ultra exposuit. poetica summatim attigit. unus liber extat scriptus ab eo hexametris uersibus, cuius et argumentum et titulus est 'Sicilia'; extat alter aeque modicus 'epigrammatum,' quae fere tempore balinei meditabatur. nam tragoediam magno impetu exorsus, non succedenti stilo, aboleuit quaerentibusque amicis, quidnam Aiax ageret, respondit Aiacem suum in spongiam incubuisse.
86. He did not adhere strictly to orthography as laid down by the grammarians, but seems to have been of the opinion of those who think, that we ought to write as we speak; for as to his changing and omitting not only letters but whole syllables, it is a vulgar mistake. Nor should I have taken notice of it, but that it appears strange to me, that any person should have told us, that he sent a successor to a consular lieutenant of a province, as an ignorant, illiterate fellow, upon his observing that he had written ixi for ipsi. When he had occasion to write in cypher, he put b for a, c for b, and so forth; and instead of z, aa. He was no less fond of the Greek literature, in which he made considerable proficiency; having had Apollodorus of Pergamus, for his master in rhetoric; whom, though much advanced in years, he took with him from The City, when he was himself very young, to Apollonia. Afterwards, being instructed in philology by Sephaerus, he received into his family Areus the philosopher, and his sons Dionysius and Nicanor; but he never could speak the Greek tongue readily, nor ever ventured to compose in it. For if there was occasion for him to deliver his sentiments in that language, he always expressed what he had to say in Latin, and gave it another to translate. He was evidently not unacquainted with the poetry of the Greeks, and had a great taste for the ancient comedy, which he often brought upon the stage, in his public spectacles. In reading the Greek and Latin authors, he paid particular attention to precepts and examples which might be useful in public or private life. Those he used to extract verbatim, and gave to his domestics, or send to the commanders of the armies, the governors of the provinces, or the magistrates of the city, when any of them seemed to stand in need of admonition. He likewise read whole books to the senate, and frequently made them known to the people by his edicts; such as the orations of Quintus Metellus "for the Encouragement of Marriage," and those of Rutilius "On the Style of Building;" to show the people that he was not the first who had promoted those objects, but that the ancients likewise had thought them worthy their attention. He patronized the men of genius of that age in every possible way. He would hear them read their works with a great deal of patience and good nature; and not only poetry and history, but orations and dialogues. He was displeased, however, that anything should be written upon himself, except in a grave manner, and by men of the most eminent abilities: and he enjoined the praetors not to suffer his name to be made too common in the contests amongst orators and poets in the theatres.
86. Genus eloquendi secutus est elegans et temperatum uitatis sententiarum ineptiis atque concinnitate et 'reconditorum uerborum,' ut ipse dicit, 'fetoribus'; praecipuamque curam duxit sensum animi quam apertissime exprimere. quod quo facilius efficeret aut necubi lectorem uel auditorem obturbaret ac moraretur, neque praepositiones urbibus addere neque coniunctiones saepius iterare dubitauit, quae detractae afferunt aliquid obscuritatis, etsi gratiam augent. cacozelos et antiquarios, ut diuerso genere uitiosos, pari fastidio spreuit exagitabatque nonnumquam; in primis Maecenatem suum, cuius 'myrobrechis,' ut ait, 'cincinnos' usque quaque persequitur et imitando per iocum irridet. sed nec Tiberio parcit et exoletas interdum et reconditas uoces aucupanti. M. quidem Antonium ut insanum increpat, quasi ea scribentem, quae mirentur potius homines quam intellegant; deinde ludens malum et inconstans in eligendo genere dicendi ingenium eius, addit haec: 'tuque dubitas, Cimberne Annius an Veranius Flaccus imitandi sint tibi, ita ut uerbis, quae Crispus Sallustius excerpsit ex Originibus Catonis, utaris? an potius Asiaticorum oratorum inani[bu]s sententiis uerborum uolubilitas in nostrum sermonem transferenda?' et quadam epistula Agrippinae neptis ingenium conlaudans: 'sed opus est,' inquit, 'dare te operam, ne moleste scribas et loquaris.' Cotidiano sermone quaedam frequentius et notabiliter usurpasse eum, litterae ipsius autographae ostentant, in quibus identidem, cum aliquos numquam soluturos significare uult, 'ad K(a)l(endas) Graecas soluturos' ait; et cum hortatur ferenda esse praesentia, qualiacumque sint: 'contenti simus hoc Catone'; et ad exprimendam festinatae rei uelocitatem: 'celerius quam asparagi cocuntur.' ponit assidue et pro stulto 'baceolum apud pullum pulleiaceum' et pro cerrito 'uacerrosum' et 'uapide' se habere pro male et 'betizare' pro languere, quod uulgo 'lachanizare' dicitur; item 'simus' pro sumus et 'domos' genetiuo casu singulari pro domuos. nec umquam aliter haec duo, ne quis mendam magis quam consuetudinem putet. Notaui et in chirographo eius illa praecipue: non diuidit uerba nec ab extrema parte uersuum abundantis litteras in alterum transfert, sed ibidem statim subicit circumducitque.