PARMENO:Unseasonably, upon my faith.
PARMENO:Incommode hercle.
CHAEREA:Aye, unhappily, rather; for other ordinary matters are to be called “unseasonable,” Parmeno.
CHAEREA:Immo enimvero infeliciter;Nam incommoda alia sunt cicenda, Parmeno.
It would be safe for me to make oath that I have not seen him for fully these six or seven months, until just now, when I least wanted, and there was the least occasion. Come now! isn’t this like a fatality? What do you say?PARMENO:Extremely so.
Illum liquet mihi deierare his mensibusSex septem prorsum non vidisse proximis,Nisi nunc cum minime vellem minimeque opus fuit.Eho nonne hoc monstri simile est? quid ais?PARMENO:Maxime.
CHAEREA:At once he came running up to me, from a considerable distance,stooping, palsied, hanging his lip, and wheezing. “Halloo, Chaerea! halloo!” said he; “I’ve something to say to you.” I stopped. “Do you know what it is I want with you?” said he. “Say on,” said I. “To-morrow my cause comes on,” said he. “What then?” “Be sure and tell your father to remember and be my advocate in the morning.”
CHAEREA:Continuo accurrit ad me quam longe quidem,Incurvus, tremulus, labiis demissis, gemens.“Heus! heus! tibi dico Chaerea,” inquit. Restiti.“Scin quid ego te volebam?” “Dic.” “Cras est mihi”“Iudicium.” “Quid tum?” “Ut diligenter nunties”“Patri, advocatus mane mihi esse ut meminerit.”
In talking of this, an hour elapsed. I inquired if he wanted any thing else. “That’s all,” said he. I left him. When I looked in this direction for the damsel, she had that very instant turned this way down this street of ours.PARMENO: (aside.)It’s a wonder if he doesn’t mean her who has just now been made a present of to Thais here.
Dum haec dicit, abiit hora. Rogo numquid velit?“Recte,” inquit. Abeo. Cum huc respicio ad virginem,Illa sese interea commodum huc adverteratIn hanc nostram plateam.PARMENO:Mirum ni hanc dicit modoHuic quae data est dono.
CHAEREA:When I got here, she was nowhere to be seen.
CHAEREA:Huc cum advenio nulla erat.
PARMENO:Some attendants, I suppose, were accompanying the girl?
PARMENO:Comites secuti scilicet sunt virginem.
CHAEREA:Yes; a Parasite, and a female servant.
CHAEREA:Verum: parasitus cum ancilla.
PARMENO: (apart.)It’s the very same. (To CHAEREA.) It’s all over with you; make an end of it; you’ve said your last.
PARMENO:Ipsa est: ilicet:Desine: iam conclamatum est.
CHAEREA:You are thinking about something else.
CHAEREA:Alias res agis.
PARMENO:Indeed I’m thinking of this same matter.
PARMENO:Istuc ago quidem.
CHAEREA:Pray, tell me, do you know her, or did you see her?
CHAEREA:Nostin quae sit? die mihi:Aut vidistin?
PARMENO:I did see, and I do know her, I am aware to what house she has been taken.
PARMENO:Vidi; novi; scio quo abducta sit.
CHAEREA:What, my dear Parmeno, do you know her,and are you aware where she is?
CHAEREA:Eho Parmeno mi nostin?PARMENO:Novi.CHAEREA:Et scis ubi siet?
PARMENO:She has been brought here (pointing) to the house of Thais the Courtesan. She has been made a present to her.
PARMENO:Huc deducta est ad meretricem Thaidem: ei dono data est.
CHAEREA:What opulent person is it, to be presenting a gift so precious as this?
CHAEREA:Quis is est tam potens cum tanto munere hoc?
PARMENO:The Captain Thraso, Phaedria’s rival.
PARMENO:Miles Thraso,Phaedriae rivalis.
CHAEREA:An unpleasant business for my brother, it should seem.
CHAEREA:Duras fratris partes praedicas.
PARMENO:Aye, and if you did but know what present he is pitting against this present, you would say so still more.
PARMENO:Immo enim si scias quod donum huic dono contra comparet,Tum id magis dicas.
CHAEREA:Troth now, what is it, pray?
CHAEREA:Quodnam quaeso hercle?
PARMENO:A Eunuch.
PARMENO:Eunuchum.
CHAEREA:What! that unsightly creature, pray, that he purchased yesterday, an old woman?
CHAEREA:Illumne obsecroInhonestum hominem quem mercatus est heri, senem, mulierem?
PARMENO:That very same.
PARMENO:Istune ipsum.
CHAEREA:To a certainty, the gentleman will be bundled out of doors, together with his present; but I wasn’t aware that this Thais is our neighbor.
CHAEREA:Homo quatietur certe cum dono foras.Sed istam Thaidem non scivi nobis vicinam.
PARMENO:It isn’t long since she came.
PARMENO:Haud diu est.
CHAEREA:Unhappy wretch that I am! never to have seen her, even. Come now, just tell me,is she as handsome as she is reported to be?
CHAEREA:Perii! numquamne etiam me illam vidisse? ehodum dic mihi;Estne ut fertur forma?
PARMENO:Quite.
PARMENO:Sane.
CHAEREA:But nothing in comparison with this damsel of mine?
CHAEREA:At nihil ad nostram hanc.
PARMENO:Another thing altogether.
PARMENO:Alia res.
CHAEREA:Troth now, Parmeno, prithee do contrive for me to gain possession of her.
CHAEREA:Obsecro hercle Parmeno fac ut potiar.
PARMENO:I’ll do my best, and use all my endeavors; I’ll lend you my assistance. (Going.) Do you want any thing else with me?
PARMENO:Faciam sedulo acDabo operam; adiuvabo: numquid me aliud vis?
CHAEREA:Where are you going now?
CHAEREA:Quo nunc is?
PARMENO:Home; to take those slaves to Thais, as your brother ordered me.
PARMENO:Domum,Ut mancipia haec, ita ut iussit frater, ducam ad Thaidem.
CHAEREA:Oh, lucky Eunuch that! really, to be sent as a present to that house!
CHAEREA:O fortunatum istum eunuchum qui quidem in hanc detur domum!
PARMENO:Why so?
PARMENO:Quid ita?
CHAEREA:Do you ask? He will always see at home a fellow-servant of consummate beauty, and be conversing with her; he will be in the same house with her; sometimes he will take his meals with her; sometimes sleep near her.
CHAEREA:Rogitas? Summa forma semper conservam domiVidebit; colloquetur; aderit una in unis aedibus;Cibum nonnumquam capiet cum ea; interdum propter dormiet.
PARMENO:What now, if you yourself were to be this fortunate person?
PARMENO:Quid si nunc tute fortunatus fias?
CHAEREA:By what means, Parmeno? Tell me.
CHAEREA:Qua re Parmeno?Responde.
PARMENO:Do you assume his dress.
PARMENO:Capias tu illius vestem.
CHAEREA:His dress! Well, what then?
CHAEREA:Vestem? quid tum postea?
PARMENO:I’ll take you there instead of him.
PARMENO:Pro illo te ducam.
CHAEREA: (musing.)I hear you.
CHAEREA:Audio.
PARMENO:I’ll say that you are he.
PARMENO:Te esse illum dicam.
CHAEREA:I understand you.
CHAEREA:Intelligo.
PARMENO:You may enjoy those advantages which you just now said lie would enjoy; you may take your meals together with her, be in company with her, touch her, dally with her, and sleep by her side; as not one of these women is acquainted with you, nor yet knows who you are. Besides, you are of an age and figure that you may easily pass for a eunuch.
PARMENO:Tu illis fruare commodis quibus tu illum dicebas modo;Cibum una capias, adsis, tangas, ludas, propter dormias;Quandoquidem illarum neque te quisquam novit, neque scit qui sies.Praeterea forma et aetas ipsa est facile ut pro eunucho probes.
CHAEREA:You speak to the purpose; I never knew better counsel given. Well, let’s go in at once; dress me up, take me away, lead me to her, as fast as you can.
CHAEREA:Dixti pulchre: numquam vidi melius consilium dari.Age, eamus intro: nunc iam orna me; abduc, duc, quantum otes.
PARMENO:What do you mean? Really, I was only joking.
PARMENO:Quid agis? iocabar equidem.
CHAEREA:You talk nonsense.
CHAEREA:Garris.
PARMENO:I’m undone! Wretch that I am! what have I done? (CHAEREA pushes him along.) Whither are you pushing me? You’ll throw me down presently. I entreat you, be quiet.
PARMENO:Perii: quid ego egi miser?Quo trudis? perculeris iam tu me: tibi equidem dico, mane.
CHAEREA:Let’s be off.(Pushes him.)
CHAEREA:Eamus.
PARMENO:Do you still persist?
PARMENO:Pergin?
CHAEREA:I am resolved upon it.
CHAEREA:Certum est.
PARMENO:Only take care that this isn’t too rash a project.
PARMENO:Vide ne nimium calidum hoc sit modo.
CHAEREA:Certainly it isn’t; let me alone for that.
CHAEREA:Non est profecto: sine.
PARMENO:Aye, but I shall have to pay the penalty for this?
PARMENO:At enim istaec in me cudetur faba.
CHAEREA:Pshaw!
CHAEREA:Ah!
PARMENO:We shall be guilty of a disgraceful action.
PARMENO:Flagitium facimus.
CHAEREA:What, is it disgraceful to be taken to the house of a Courtesan, and to return the compliment upon those tormentors who treat us and our youthful age so scornfully, and who are always tormenting us in every way;—to dupe them just as we are duped by them?
CHAEREA:An id flagitium est, si in domum meretriciamDeducar; et illis crucibus quae nos nostramque adolescentiamHabent despicatam, et quae nos semper omnibus cruciant modis,Nunc referam gratiam; atque eas itidem fallam ut ab illis fallimur?
Or is it right and proper that in preference my father should be wheedled out of his money by deceitful pretexts? Those who knew of this would blame me; while all would think the other a meritorious act.
An potius haec patri aequum est fieri ut a me ludatur dolis:Quod qui rescierint culpent: illud merito factum omnes putent.
PARMENO:What’s to be done in such case? If you are determined to do it, you must do it: but don’t you by-and-by be throwing the blame upon me.
PARMENO:Quid istic? si certum est facere facias: verum ne post conferasCulpam in me.
CHAEREA:I shall not do so.
CHAEREA:Non faciam.
PARMENO:Do you order me, then?
PARMENO:Iubesne?
CHAEREA:I order, charge, and command you; I will never disavow my authorizing you.
CHAEREA:Iubeo, cogo, atque impero.Numquam defugiam auctoritatem: sequere.
PARMENO:Follow me; may the Gods prosper it!(They go into the house of LACHES.) (Enter THRASO and GNATHO.)
PARMENO:Di vortant bene.(THRASO.GNATHO. PARMENO.)
THRASO:Did Thais really return me many thanks?
THRASO:Magnas vero agere gratias Thais mihi?
GNATHO:Exceeding thanks.
GNATHO:Ingentes.
THRASO:Was she delighted, say you?
THRASO:Ain tu? laeta est?
GNATHO:Not so much, indeed, at the present itself, as because it was given by you; really, in right earnest, she does exult at that.(Enter PARMIENO unseen, from LACHES’ house.)
GNATHO:Non tam ipso quidemDono quam abs te datum esse: id vero serioTriumphat.
PARMENO: (apart.)I’ve come here to be on the look-out, that when there is an opportunity I may take the presents. But see, here’s the Captain.
PARMENO:Huc proviso ut, ubi tempus siet,Deducam: sed eccum militem.
THRASO:Undoubtedly it is the case with me, that every thing I do is a cause for thankfulness.
THRASO:Est istuc datumProfecto ut grata mihi sint quae facio omnia.
GNATHO:Upon my faith, I’ve observed it.
GNATHO:Adverti hercle animum.
THRASO:The most mighty King, even, always used to give me especial thanks for whatever I did; but not so to others.
THRASO:Vel rex semper maximasMihi agebat quidquid feceram; aliis non item.
GNATHO:He who has the wit that you have, often by his words appropriates to himself the glory that has been achieved by the labor of others.
GNATHO:Labore alieno magnam partam gloriamVerbis saepe in se transmovet qui habet salem,Quod in te est.
THRASO:You’ve just hit it.
THRASO:Habes.
GNATHO:The king, then, kept you in his eye.
GNATHO:Rex te ergo in oculis—
THRASO:Just so.
THRASO:Scilicet.
GNATHO:To enjoy your society.
GNATHO:Gestare.
THRASO:True; he intrusted to me all his army, all his state secrets.
THRASO:Vero: credere omnem exercitum,Consilia.
GNATHO:Astonishing!
GNATHO:Mirum.
THRASO:Then if, on any occasion, a surfeit of society, or a dislike of business, came upon him, when he was desirous to take some recreation; just as though—you understand?
THRASO:Tum sicubi eum satietasHominum, aut negoti si quando odium ceperat,Requiescere ubi volebat, quasi—nostin?
GNATHO:I know;
GNATHO:Scio:
just as though on occasion he would rid his mind of those anxieties.THRASO:You have it. Then he used to take me aside as his only boon companion.
Quasi ubi illam exspueret iniseriam ex animo.THRASO:Tenes.Tum me convivam solum abducebat sibi.
GNATHO:Whew! You are telling of a King of refined taste.
GNATHO:Hui!Regem elegantem narras.
THRASO:Aye, he is a person of that sort; a man of but very few acquaintanceships.
THRASO:Immo sic homo estPerpaucorum hominum.
GNATHO: (aside.)Indeed, of none, I fancy, if he’s on intimate terms with you.
GNATHO:Immo nullorum arbitror,Si tecum vivit.
THRASO:All the people envied me,and attacked me privately. I don’t care one straw. They envied me dreadfully; but one in particular, whom the King had appointed over the Indian elephants. Once, when he became particularly troublesome, “Prithee, Strato,” said I, “are you so fierce because you hold command over the wild beasts?”
THRASO:Invidere omnes mihi;Mordere clanculum: ego non flocci pendere.Illi invidere misere: verum unus tamenImpense, elephantis quem Indicis praefecerat.Is ubi molestus magis est, “Quaeso,” inquam, “Strato,”“Eone es ferox quia habes imperium in belluas?”
GNATHO:Cleverly said, upon my faith, and shrewdly. Astounding! You did give the fellow a home thrust. What said he?
GNATHO:Pulchre mehercle dictum, et sapienter. Papae!Iugularas hominem. Quid ille?
THRASO:Dumfounded, instantaneously.
THRASO:Mutus ilico.
GNATHO:How could he be otherwise?
GNATHO:Quidni esset?
PARMENO: (apart.)Ye Gods, by our trust in you! a lost and miserable fellow the one, and the other a scoundrel.
PARMENO:Di vestram fidem! hominem perditumMiserumque, et illum sacrilegum.
THRASO:Well then, about that: matter, Gnatho, the way in which I touched up the Rhodian at a banquet—did I never tell you?
THRASO:Quid illud GnathoQuo pacto Rhodium tetigerim in convivio,Numquam tibi dixi?
GNATHO:Never; but pray, do tell me. (Aside.) I’ve heard it more than a thousand times already.
GNATHO:Numquamn: sed narra, obsecro.Plus millies audivi.
THRASO:There was in my company at a banquet, this young man of Rhodes, whom I’m speaking of. By chance I had a mistress there; he began to toy with her, and to annoy me. “What are you doing, sir impudence?” said I to the fellow;
THRASO:Una in convivioErat hic quem dico Rhodius adolescentulus.Forte habui scortum: coepit ad id alludere,Et me irridere. “Quid agis,” inquam, “homo impudens?”
“a hare yourself, and looking out for game?”GNATHO: (pretending to laugh very heartily.)Ha, ha, ha!
“Lepus es, et pulpamentum quaeris?”GNATHO:Ha, ha, he.
THRASO:What’s the matter?
THRASO:Quid est?
GNATHO:How apt, how smart, how clever; nothing could be more excellent. Prithee, was this a saying of yours? I fancied it was an old one.
GNATHO:Facete, lepide, laute; nihil supra.Tuumne, obsecro te, hoc dictum erat? vetus credidi.
THRASO:Did you ever hear it before?
THRASO:Audieras?
GNATHO:Many a time; and it is mentioned among the first-rate ones.
GNATHO:Saepe; et fertur in primis.
THRASO:It’s my own.
THRASO:Meum est.
GNATHO:I’m sorry though that it was said to a thoughtless young man, and one of respectability.PARMENO: (apart.)
GNATHO:Dolet dictum imprudenti adolescenti et libero.
May the Gods confound you!GNATHO:Pray, what did he do?
PARMENO:At te Di perdant.GNATHO:Quid ille, quaeso?
THRASO:Quite disconcerted. All who were present were dying with laughter; in short, they were all quite afraid of me.
THRASO:Perditus.Risu omnes qui aderant emoriri: deniqueMetuebant omnes iam me.
GNATHO:[Not without reason.
GNATHO:Non iniuria.
THRASO:But hark you, had I best clear myself of this to Thais, as to her suspicion that I’m fond of this girl?
THRASO:Sed heus tu, purgone ego me de istac Thaidi,Quod ear me amare suspicata est?
GNATHO:By no means:
GNATHO:Nihil minus.
on the contrary, rather increase her jealousy.THRASO:Why so?
Immo auge magis suspicionem.THRASO:Cur?
GNATHO:Do you ask me? Don’t you see, if on any occasion she makes mention of Phaedria or commends him, to provoke you—
GNATHO:Rogas?Scin? si quando illa mentionem PhaedriaeFacit, aut si laudat, te ut male urat.
THRASO:I understand.
THRASO:Sentio.
GNATHO:That such may not be the case, this method is the only remedy. When she speaks of Phaedria, do you instantly mention Pamphila.If at any time she says, “Let’s invite Phaedria to make one,” do you say, “Let’s ask Pamphila to sing.” If she praises his good looks, do you, on the other hand, praise hers. In short, do you return like for like, which will mortify her.
GNATHO:Id ut ne fiat haec res sola est remedio.Ubi nominabit Phaedriam, tu PamphilamContinuo: si quando illa dicet, “Phaedriam”“Commissatum intromittamus:” tu, “Pamphilam”“Cantatum provocemus.” Si laudabit haecIllius formam, tu huius contra. DeniquePar pro pari referto, quod eam mordeat.
THRASO:If, indeed, she loved me, this might be of some use, Gnatho.
THRASO:Siquidem me amaret, tum istuc prodesset, Gnatho.
GNATHO:Since she is impatient for and loves that which you give her, she already loves you; as it is, then, it is an easy matter for her to feel vexed. She will be always afraid lest the presents which she herself is now getting, you may on some occasion be taking elsewhere.
GNATHO:Quando illud quod tu das exspectat atque amat,Iam dudum te amat, iam dudum illi facile fitQuod doleat; metuit semper quem ipsa nunc capitFructum ne quando iratus tu alio conferas.
THRASO:Well said; that never came into my mind.
THRASO:Bene dixti: at mihi istuc non in mentem venerat.
GNATHO:Nonsense. You never thought about it; else how much more readily would you yourself have hit upon it, Thraso!(Enter THAIS from her house, attended by PYTHIAS.)THAIS: (as she comes out.)
GNATHO:Ridiculum: non enim cogitaras: caeterumIdem hoc tute melius quanto invenisses Thraso!(THAIS. THRASO. PARMENO. GNATHO. PYTHIAS.)
I thought I just now heard the Captain’s voice. And look, here he is. Welcome, my dear Thraso.THRASO:O my Thais,my sweet one, how are you? How much do you love me in return for that music girl?
THAIS:Audire vocem visa sum modo militis.Atque eccum. Salve mi Thraso.THRASO:O Thais mea,Meum suavium, quid agitur? ecquid nos amasDe fidicina istac?
PARMENO: (apart.)How polite! What a beginning he has made on meeting her!
PARMENO:Quam venuste! quod deditPrincipium adveniens.
THAIS:Very much, as you deserve.
THAIS:Plurimum merito tuo.
GNATHO:Let’s go to dinner then. (To THRASO.) What do you stand here for?
GNATHO:Eamus ergo ad coenam: quid stas?
PARMENO: (apart.)Then there’s the other one: you would declare that he was born for his belly’s sake.
PARMENO:Hem alterum:Abdomini hunc natum dicas.
THRASO:When you please; I sha’n’t delay.PARMENO: (apart.)
THRASO:Ubi vis, non moror.
I’ll accost them, and pretend as though I had just come out. (He comes forward.) Are you going any where, Thais?THAIS:Ha! Parmeno; well done; just going out for the day.
PARMENO:Adibo, atque adsimulabo quasi nunc exeam.Ituran Thais quopiam es?THAIS:Ehem! Parmeno,Bene fecisti: hodie itura.
PARMENO:Where?
PARMENO:Quo?
THAIS: (aside, pointing at THRASO.)Why! don’t you see him?PARMENO: (aside.)
THAIS:Quid? hunc non vides?
I see him, and I’m sorry for it. (Aloud.) Phaedria’s presents are ready for you when you please.THRASO: (impatiently.)Why are we to stand here? Why don’t we be off?PARMENO: (to THRASO.)
PARMENO:Video et me taedet: ubi vis dona adsunt tibiA Phaedria.THRASO:Quid stamus? cur non imus hinc?
Troth now, pray, do let us, with your leave, present to her the things we intend, and accost and speak to her.THRASO: (ironically.)
PARMENO:Quaeso hercle ut liceat, pace quod fiat tua,Dare huic quae volumus, convenire et colloqui.
Very fine presents, I suppose, or at least equal to mine.
THRASO:Perpulchra credo dona haud nostris similia.
PARMENO:The fact will prove itself. (Goes to the door of LACHES’ house and calls.) Ho there! bid those people come out of doors at once, as I ordered.(Enter from the house a BLACK GIRL.)
PARMENO:Res indicabit. Heus, iubete istos forasExire quos iussi ocius: procede tu huc.
PARMENO:Do you step forward this way. (To THAIS.) She comes all the way from Aethiopia.THRASO: (contemptuously.)Here are some three minae in value.
Ex Aethiopia est usque haec.THRASO:Hic sunt tres minae.
GNATHO:Hardly so much.
GNATHO:Vix.
PARMENO:Where are you, Dorus? Step this way. (Enter CHAEREA from the house, dressed like the EUNUCH.) There’s a Eunuch for you—of what a genteel appearance! of what a prime age!
PARMENO:Ubi tu es Dore? accede huc. Hem eunuchum tibi,Quam liberali facie, quam aetate integra!
THAIS:God bless me, he’s handsome.
THAIS:Ita me Di ament honestus est.
PARMENO:What say you, Gnatho? Do you see any thing to find fault with? And what say you, Thraso?
PARMENO:Quid tu ais, Gnatho?Numquid habes quod contemnas? quid tu autem Thraso?
(Aside.) They hold their tongues; they praise him sufficiently thereby. (To THAIS.) Make trial of him in literature, try him in exercises, and in music; I’ll warrant him well skilled in what it becomes a gentleman to know.
Tacent; satis laudant. Fac periclum in literis,Fac in palaestra, in musicis: quae liberumScire aequum est adolescentem solertem dabo.
THRASO:That Eunuch, if occasion served, even in my sober senses, I—
THRASO:Ego illum eunuchum, si opus siet, vel sobrius.
PARMENO:And he who has sent these things makes no request thatyou will live for him alone, and that for his own sake others may be excluded; he neither tells of battles nor shows his scars, nor does he restrict you as (looking at THRASO) a certain person does; but when it is not inconvenient, whenever you think fit, whenever you have the time, he is satisfied to be admitted.THRASO: (to GNATHO, contemptuously.)
PARMENO:Atque haec qui misit non sibi soli postulatTe vivere, et sua causa excludi caeteros;Neque pugnas narrat; neque cicatrices suasOstentat; neque tibi obstat, quod quidam facit:Verum ubi molestum non erit, ubi tu voles,Ubi tempus tibi erit, sat habet si tun recipitur.
It appears that this is the servant of some beggarly, wretched master.GNATHO:Why, faith, no person, I’m quite sure of that, could possibly put up with him, who had the means to get another.
THRASO:Apparet servum hunc esse domini pauperisMiserique.GNATHO:Nam hercle nemo posset, sat scio,Qui haberet qui pararet alium, hunc perpeti.
PARMENO:You hold your tongue—a fellow whom I consider beneath all men of the very lowest grade: for when you can bring yourself to flatter that fellow (pointing at THRASO),I do believe you could pick your victuals out of the very flames.
PARMENO:Tace tu, quem ego esse infra infimos omnes putoHomines; nam qui huic animum assentari induxeris,E flamma petere te cibum posse arbitror.
THRASO:Are we to go now?
THRASO:Iamne imus?
THAIS:I’ll take these in-doors first (pointing to CHAEREA and the AETHIOPIAN), and at the same time I’ll order what I wish; after that I’ll return immediately.(Goes into the house with PYTHIAS, CHAEREA, and the SLAVE.)THRASO: (to GNATHO.)
THAIS:Hos prius introducam, et quae voloSimul imperabo: post continuo exeo.
I shall be off. Do you wait for her.PARMENO:It is not a proper thing for a general to be walking in the street with a mistress.
THRASO:Ego hine abeo; tu istam opperire.PARMENO:Haud convenitUna cum amica ire imperatorer in via.
THRASO:Why should I use many words with you? You are the very ape of your master.(Exit PARMENO.)GNATHO: (laughing.)
THRASO:Quid tibi ego multa dicam? domini similis es.
Ha, ha, ha!THRASO:What are you laughing at?
GNATHO:Ha, ha, he.THRASO:Quid rides?
GNATHO:At what you were mentioning just now; that saying, too, about the Rhodian, recurred to my mind. But Thais is coming out.
GNATHO:Istuc quod dixti modo;Et illud de Rhodio dictum cum in mentem venit:Sed Thais exit.
THRASO:You go before; take care that every thing is ready at home.
THRASO:Abi prae, curre, ut sint domiParata.
GNATHO:Very well.(Exit.)
GNATHO:Fiat.
THAIS: (Re-enter THAIS, with PYTHIAS and FEMALE ATTENDANTS.)Take care, Pythias,and be sure that if Chremes should happen to come, to beg him to wait; if that is not convenient, then to come again; if he can not do that, bring him to me.
THAIS:Diligenter PythiasFac cures, si Chremes huc forte advenerit,Ut ores primum ut maneat: si id non commodum est,Ut redeat: si id non poterit, ad me adducito.
PYTHIAS:I’ll do so.
PYTHIAS:Ita faciam.
THAIS:Well, what else was I intending to say? O, do you take particular care of that young woman;
THAIS:Quid? quid aliud volui dicere?Ehem, curate istam diligenter virginem.
be sure that you keep at home.THRASO:Let us begone.
Domi adsitis facite.THRASO:Eamus.
THAIS: (to her attendants.)You follow me.(Exeunt THAIS and THRASO, followed by the Attendants. PYTHIAS goes into the house.) (Enter CHREMES.)CHREMES: (to himself.)
THAIS:Vos me sequimini.(CHREMES. PYTHIAS.)
Why, really, the more and more I think of it, I shouldn’t be surprised if this Thais should be doing me some great mischief; so cunningly do I perceive myself beset by her. Even on the occasion when she first requested me to be fetched to her(any one might ask me, “What business had you with her?” Really I don’t know.) When I came, she found an excuse for me to remain there; she said that she had been offering a sacrifice, and that she was desirous to speak upon some important business with me. Even then I had a suspicion that all these things were being done for her artful purposes. She takes her place besideme; pays every attention to me; seeks and opportunity of conversation. When the conversation flagged, she turned off to this point—how long since my father and mother died? I said that it was now a long time ago. Whether I had any country-house at Sunium, and how far from the sea? I suppose that this has taken her fancy, and she expects to get it away from me.
CHREMES:Profecto quanto magis magisque cogito,Nimirum dabit haec Thais mihi magnum malum:Ita me video ab ea astute labefactarier,Iam tum cum primum iussit me ad se arcessier.Roget quis “Quid tibi cum illa?” ne noram quidem;Ubi veni, causam ut ibi manerem repperit.Ait rem divinam fecisse, et rem seriamVelle agere mecum. Iam tum erat suspicioDolo malo haec fieri omnia: ipsa accumbereMecum, mihi sese dare, sermonem quaerere.Ubi friget, huc evasit; quam pridem paterMihi et mater mortui essent: dico, iam diu.Rus Sunii ecquod haberem, et quam longe a mari?Credo ei placere hoc: sperat se a me avellere.
Then at last, whether any little sister of mine had been lost from there; whether any person was with her; what she had about her when she was lost; whether any one could recognize her. Why should she make these inquiries? Unless, perhaps, she pretends—so great is her assurance—that she herself is the same person that was formerly lost when a little girl.
Postremo, ecqua inde parva periisset soror?Ecquis cum ea una? quid habuisset cum perit?Ecquis eam posset noscere? Haec cur quaeritet?Nisi si illa forte, quae olim periit parvulaSoror, hanc se intendit esse, ut est audacia.
But if she is alive, she is sixteen years old, not older; whereas Thais is somewhat older than I am. She has sent to press me earnestly to come. Either let her speak out what she wants, or not be troublesome; I assuredly shall not come a third time (knocking at the door of THAIS). Ho! there, ho! there! Is any one here?
Verum ea si vivit annos nata est sedecim,Non maior. Thais quam ego sum maiuscula est.Misit porro orare ut venirem serio.Aut dicat quod volt; aut molesta ne siet:Non hercle veniam tertio. Heus, heus. Ecquis hic?
It’s I, Chremes.(Enter PYTHIAS from the house.)PYTHIAS:O most charming, dear creature!CHREMES: (apart.)
Ego sum Chremes.PYTHIAS:O capitulum lepidissimum!
I said there was a design upon me.PYTHIAS:Thais entreated you most earnestly to come again to-morrow.
CHREMES:Dico ego mihi insidias fieri.PYTHIAS:Thais maximoTe orabat opere ut eras redires.
CHREMES:I’m going into the country.
CHREMES:Rus eo.
PYTHIAS:Do, there’s a dear sir.
PYTHIAS:Fac amabo.
CHREMES:I can not, I tell you.
CHREMES:Non possum, inquam.
PYTHIAS:Then stay here at our house till she comes back.
PYTHIAS:At tu apud nos hic mane,Dum redeat ipsa.
CHREMES:Nothing less likely.
CHREMES:Nihil minus.
PYTHIAS:Why, my dear Chremes?(Taking hold of him.)CHREMES: (shaking her off.)
PYTHIAS:Cur mi Chremes?
Away to perdition with you!PYTHIAS:If you are so determined about it, pray do step over to the place where she is.
CHREMES:Malam rem hinc abis?PYTHIAS:Si istuc ita certum est tibi,Amabo ut illuc transeas ubi illa est.
CHREMES:I’ll go there.PYTHIAS: (calling at the door.)
CHREMES:Eo.
Here, Dorias (DORIAS enters), show this person directly to the Captain’s.(Exit CHREMES with DORIAS, PYTHIAS goes into the house.) (Enter ANTIPHO.)ANTIPHO: (to himself.)
PYTHIAS:Abi Dorias cito hunc deduce ad militem.(ANTIPHO.)
Yesterday some young fellows of us agreed together at the Piraeus that we were to go shares today in a club-entertainment. We gave Chaerea charge of this matter;our rings were given as pledges; the place and time arranged. The time has now gone by; at the place appointed there was nothing ready. The fellow himself is nowhere to be met with; I neither know what to say nor what to suppose. Now the rest have commissioned me with his business, to look for him. I’ll go see, therefore, if he’s at home. But who’s this, I wonder, coming out of Thais’s?
ANTIPHO:Heri aliquot adolescentuli coimus in Piraeeo,In hunc diem ut de symbolis essemus. Chaeream ei reiPraefecimus; dati annuli; locus, tempus constitutum est.Praeteriit tempus; quo in loco dictum est parati nihil est.Homo ipse nusquam est; neque scio quid dicam aut quid coniectem.Nunc mihi hoc negoti caeteri dedere ut illum quaeram;Idque adeo visam, si domi est. Quisnam hic a Thaide exit?
Is it he, or is it not?’Tis the very man! What sort of being is this? What kind of garb is this? What mischief is going on now? I can not sufficiently wonder or conjecture. But, whatever it is, I should like first at a distance to try and find out.(He stands apart.) (Enter CHAEREA from the house of Thais, in the EUNUCH’s dress.)CHAEREA: (looking around, then aloud to himself.)
Is est, an non est? ipsus est. Quid hoc hominis? qui hic ornatus est?Quid illud mali est? nequeo satis mirari neque coniicere.Nisi quicquid est, procul hinc libet prius quid sit sciscitari.(CHAEREA. ANTIPHO.)
Is there any body here? There’s no one. Is there any one following me from there? There’s not a person. Now am I not at liberty to give vent to these raptures? O supreme Jupiter!
CHAEREA:Numquis hic est? nemo est: numquis hinc me sequitur? nemo homo est.Iamne erumpere hoc licet mihi gaudium? pro Iupiter!
now assuredly is the time for me to meet my death, when I can so well endure it; lest my life should sully this ecstasy with some disaster. But is there now no inquisitive person to be intruding upon me, to be following me wherever I do, to be deafening me, worrying me to death, with asking questions; why thus transported, or why so overjoyed, whither I’m going, whence I’m come, whereI got this garb, what is my object, whether I’m in my senses or whether downright mad?ANTIPHO: (apart.)
Nunc est profecto interfici cum perpeti me possum,Ne hoc gaudium contaminet vita aegritudine aliqua.Sed neminemne curiosum intervenire nunc mihi,Qui me sequatur, quoquo eam; rogitando obtundat, enecet;Quid gestiam, aut quid laetus sim; quo pergam, unde emergam; ubi siemTestitum hunc nactus; quid mihi quaeram; sanus sim, anne insaniam?
I’ll accost him, and I’ll do him the favor which I see he’s wishing for. (Accosting him.) Chaerea, why are you thus transported? What’s the object of this garb? Why is it that you’re so overjoyed? What is the meaning of this? Are you quite right in your senses? Why do you stare at me? What have you to say?CHAEREA:O joyous day! O welcome, my friend!
ANTIPHO:Adibo, atque ab eo gratiam hanc quam video velle inibo.Chaerea, quid est quod sic gestis? quid sibi hic vestitus quaerit?Quid est quod laetus sis? quid tibi vis? satin sanus? quid me adspectas?Quid taces?CHAEREA:O festus dies hominis! amice salve.
There’s not one in all the world whom I would rather wish to see at this moment that yourself.
Nemo est hominum, quem ego nunc magis cuperem videre quam te.
ANTIPHO:Pray, do tell me what all this means.
ANTIPHO:Narra istuc quaeso quid siet.
CHAEREA:Nay rather, i’faith, I beg of you to listen to me. Do you know the mistress whom my brother is so fond of?
CHAEREA:Immo ego te obsecro hercle ut audias.Nostine hanc, quam amat frater?
ANTIPHO:I know her; I suppose you mean Thais?
ANTIPHO:Novi, nempe opinor Thaidem.
CHAEREA:The very same.
CHAEREA:Istam ipsam.
ANTIPHO:So far I recollect.
ANTIPHO:Sic commemineram.
CHAEREA:To-day a certain damsel was presented to her. Why now should I extol or commend her beauty to you, Antipho,since you yourself know how nice a judge of beauty I am? I have been smitten by her.
CHAEREA:Quaedam hodie est ei dono dataVirgo. Quid ego eius tibi nunc faciem praedicem aut laudem Antipho,Cum ipsum me noris quam elegans formarum spectator siem?In hac commotus sum.
ANTIPHO:Do you say so?
ANTIPHO:Ain tu?
CHAEREA:If you saw her, I am sure you would say she’s exquisite. What need of many words? I fell in love with her. By good luck there was at our house a certain Eunuch, whom my brother had purchased for Thais, and he had not as yet been sent to her. On this occasion, Parmeno,our servant, made a suggestion to me, which I adopted.
CHAEREA:Primam dices, scio, si videris.Quid multa verba? amare coepi. Forte fortuna domiErat quidam eunuchus quem mercatus fuerat frater Thaidi,Neque is deductus etiamdum ad eam. Summonuit me ParmenoIbi servus quod ego arripui.
ANTIPHO:What was it?
ANTIPHO:Quid id est?
CHAEREA:Be quiet, and you shall hear the sooner; to change clothes with him, and order myself to be taken there in his stead.
CHAEREA:Tacitus citius audies.Ut vestem cum eo mutem, et pro illo iubeam me illuc deducier.
ANTIPHO:What, instead of the Eunuch?
ANTIPHO:Pro eunuchon?
CHAEREA:The fact.
CHAEREA:Sic est.
ANTIPHO:To receive what advantage, pray, from this plan?
ANTIPHO:Quid ex ea re tandem ut caperes commodi?
CHAEREA:Do you ask? That I might see, hear, and be in company with her whom I loved, Antipho. Is that a slight motive, or a poor reason? I was presented to the woman.
CHAEREA:Rogas? viderem, audirem, essem una quacum cupiebam Antipho.Num parva causa aut parva ratio est? traditus sum mulieri.
She, as soon as she received me, joyfully took me home to her house and intrusted the damsel—ANTIPHO:To whom? To you?
Illa ilico ubi me accepit laeta vero ad se abducit domum:Commendat virginem.ANTIPHO:Cui? tibine?
CHAEREA:To me.
CHAEREA:Mihi.
ANTIPHO: (ironically.)In perfect safety, at all events.
ANTIPHO:Satis tuto tamen.
CHAEREA:She gave orders that no male was to come near her, and commanded me not to stir away from her; that I was to remain alone with her in the inner apartments. Looking bashfully on the ground, I nodded assent.
CHAEREA:Edicit ne vir quisquam ad eam adeat; et mihi ne abscedam imperat,In interiore parte ut maneam solus cum sola: annuo,Terram intuens modeste.
ANTIPHO: (ironically.)Poor fellow!
ANTIPHO:Miser!
CHAEREA: (continuing.)“I am going out,” said she, “to dinner.”
CHAEREA:“Ego,” inquit, “ad coenam hine eo.”
She took her maids with her; a few novices of girls remained, to be about her. These immediately made preparations for her to bathe. I urged them to make haste. While preparations were being made, the damsel sat in a room looking up at a certain painting, in which was represented how Jove is said once to have sent a golden shower into the bosom of Danaë.
Abducit secum ancillas: paucae quae circum illam essent manentNovitiae puellae: continuo haec adornant ut lavet.Adhortor properent: dum apparatur, virgo in conclavi sedet,Suspectans tabulam quandam pictam, ubi inerat pictura haec:Quo pacto Danaae misisse aiunt quondam in gremium imbirem aureum.
I myself began to look at it as well, and as he had in former times played the like game, I felt extremely delighted that a God should change himself into money, and slily come through the tiles of another person’s house, to deceive the fair one by means of a shower. But what God was this? He who shakes the most lofty temples of heaven with his thunders.
Egomet quoque id spectare coepi; et, quia consimilem luseratIam olim ille ludum, impendio magis animus gaudebat mihi;Deum sese in hominem convertisse, atque in alienas tegulasVenisse clanculum per impluvium, fucum factum mulieri.At quem Deum? qui templa coeli summa sonitu concutit.
Was I, a poor creature of a mortal, not to do the same? Certainly, I was to do it, and without hesitation. While I was thinking over these matters with myself, the damsel meantime was fetched away to bathe; she went, bathed, and came back; after which they laid her on a couch. I stood waiting to see if they gave me any orders. One came up, “Here, Dorus,” said she, “take this fan, and let her have a little air in this fashion, while we are bathing;”
Ego homuncio hoc non facerem? ego illud vero ita feci ac lubens.Dum haec mecum reputo, arcessitur lavatum interea virgo:It, lavit, rediit: deinde eam in lectum illae collocant.Sto exspectans si quid mihi imperent. Venit una; “Heus tu,” inquit, “Dore”“Cape hoc flabellum et ventulum huic sic facito, dum lavamus:”
“when we have bathed, if you like, you may bathe too.” With a demure air I took it.
“Ubi nos laverimus si voles lavato.” Accipio tristis.
ANTIPHO:Really, I should very much have liked to see that impudent face of yours just then, and what figure a great donkey like you made, holding a fan!CHAEREA: (continuing.)
ANTIPHO:Tum equidem istuc os tuum impudens videre nimium vellem;Qui esset status, flabellum tenere te asinum tantum.
Hardly had she said this, when all, in a moment, betook themselves off: away they went to bathe, and chattered aloud; just as the way is when masters are absent.
CHAEREA:Vix elocuta est hoc, foras simul omnes proruunt se:Abeunt lavatum: perstrepunt, ita ut fit domini ubi absunt.
Meanwhile, sleep overtook the damsel; I slily looked askance through the fan; this way (showing how): at the same time I looked round in all directions, to see whether all was quite safe. I saw that it was. I bolted the door.
Interea somnus virginem opprimit; ego limis spectoSic per flabellum clanculum; simul alia circumspectoSatin explorata sint. Video esse; pessulum ostio obdo.
ANTIPHO:What then?
ANTIPHO:Quid tum?
CHAEREA:Eh? What then, you simpleton?
CHAEREA:Quid? quid tum? fatue.
ANTIPHO:I own I am.
ANTIPHO:Fateor.
CHAEREA:Was I to let slip the opportunity offered me, so excellent, so short-lived, so longed for, so unexpected.
CHAEREA:An ego occasionemMihi ostentam tantam, tam brevem, tam optatam, tam insperatam.
In that case, i’faith, I really should have been the person I was pretending to be.
Amitterem? tum pol ego is essem vere qui simulabar.
ANTIPHO:Troth, you certainly are in the right; but, meantime, what has been arranged about the club-entertainment?
ANTIPHO:Sane hercle ut dicis: sed interim de symbolis quid actum est?
CHAEREA:All’s ready.
CHAEREA:Paratum est.
ANTIPHO:You are a clever hand; but where? At your house?
ANTIPHO:Frugi es. Ubi? domino?
CHAEREA:No, at Discus’s, our freedman.
CHAEREA:Immo apud libortum Discumn.
ANTIPHO:That’s a long way off.CHAEREA:Then let’s make so much the greater haste.ANTIPHO:Change your dress.
ANTIPHO:Perlonge est: sed tanto ocius properenus; muta vestem.
CHAEREA:Where am I to change it? I’m at a loss; for at present I’m an exile from home; I’m afraid of my brother,lest he should be in-doors: and then again of my father, lest he should have returned from the country by this.
CHAEREA:Ubi mutem? perii; nam domo exulo nunc: metuo fratremNe intus sit; porro autem pater ne rure redierit iam.
ANTIPHO:Let’s go to my house; there is the nearest place for you to change.
ANTIPHO:Eamus ad me: ibi proximum est ubi mutes.
CHAEREA:You say right. Let’s be off; besides, I want to take counsel with you about this girl, by what means I may be able to secure the future possession of her.
CHAEREA:Recte dicisEamus; et de istac simul, quo pacto porro possimPotiri, consilium volo capere una tecum.
ANTIPHO:Very well.(Exeunt.) (Enter DORIAS, with a casket in her hand.)DORIAS: (to herself.)
ANTIPHO:Fiat.(DORIAS.)
So may the Gods bless me, but from what I have seen, I’m terribly afraid thatthis mad fellow will be guilty of some disturbance to-day or of some violence to Thais. For when this young man, the brother of the damsel, arrived, she begged the Captain to order him to be admitted; he immediately began to get into a passion, and yet didn’t dare refuse; Thais still insisted that he would invite the man in. This she did for the sake of detaining him; because there was no opportunity just then of telling him what she wanted to disclose about her sister.
DORIAS:Ita me Di ament, quantum ego illum vidi, nonnihil timeo miseraNe quam ille hodie insanus turbam faciat, aut vim Thaidi.Nam postquam iste advenit Chremes adolescens, frater virginis,Militem rogat ut illum admitti iubeat: ille continuo irasci,Neque negare audere: Thais porro instare ut hominem invitet.Id faciebat retinendi illius causa, quia illa quae cupiebatDe sorore eius indicare ad eam rem tempus non erat.
He was invited in, and took his seat. Then she entered into discourse with him. But the Captain, fancying it was a rival brought before his very eyes, wanted in his turn to mortify her: “Hark you, boy,” said he, “go fetch Pamphila, that she may amuse us here.” She exclaimed, “At a banquet! Certainly not.” The Captain still persisted to a downright quarrel.
Invitat tristis; mansit: ibi illa cum illo sermonem occipit.Miles vero sibi putare adductum ante oculos aemulum:Voluit facere contra huic aegre. Heus! inquit, puer, PamphilamArcesse, ut delectet hic nos. Illa exclamat, “Minime gentium!”“In convivium illam?” Miles tendere: inde ad iurgium.
Meanwhile my mistress secretly took off her golden jewels, and gave them to me to take away: this is a sign, I’m sure, that she’ll betake herself from there as soon as she possibly can.(Goes into the house.) (Enter PHAEDRIA.)PHAEDRIA: (to himself.)
Interea aurum sibi clam mulier demit; dat mihi ut auferam.Hoc est signi; ubi primum poterit se illinc subducet, scio.(PHAEDRIA.)
While I was going into the country, I began on the road, as it mostly happens when there is any anxiety on the mind,to reflect with myself upon one thing after another, and upon every thing in the worst light. What need of words? While I was musing thus, inadvertently I passed my country-house. I had already got some distance from it, when I perceived this; I returned again, really feeling quite uneasy; when I came to the very turning that leads to the house, I came to a stop,and began to reason with myself; “What! must I stay here alone for two days without her? Well, and what then? It’s nothing at all. What? Nothing at all? Well now, if I haven't the privilege of touching her, am I not even to have that of seeing her? If I may not do the one, at least I may the other. Surely to love at a distance ”“even, is better than nothing at all.” I purposely passed the house. But how’s this, that Pythias is suddenly hurrying out in such a fright?(Stands apart.) (Enter PYTHIAS and DORIAS in haste from the house of THAIS.)PYTHIAS: (aloud.)
PHAEDRIA:Dum rus eo coepi egomet mecum inter vias,Ita ut fit ubi quid in animo est molestiae,Aliam rem ex alia cogitare, et ea omnia inPeiorem partem. Quid opus est verbis? dum haec putoPraeterii imprudens villam: longe iam abieramCum sensi: redeo rursum, male vero me habens.Ubi ad ipsum veni diverticulum, constiti.Occepi mecum cogitare: “Hem! biduum hic”“Manendum est soli sine illa? quid tum postea?”“Nihil est: quid? nihil? si non tangendi copia est,”“Eho, ne videndi quidem erit? si illud non licet,”“Saltem hoc licebit. Certe extrema linea”“Amare haud nihil est.” Villam praetereo sciens.Sed quid hoc quod timida subito egreditur Pythias?(PYTHIAS. PHAEDRIA. DORIAS.)
Where, wretch that I am, shall I find this wicked and impious fellow? Or where look for him? That he should dare to commit so audacious a crime as this! I’m ruined outright!PHAEDRIA: (apart.)I dread what this may be.
PYTHIAS:Ubi ego illum scelerosum misera atque impium inveniam? aut ubi quaeram?Hocine tam audax facinus facere esse ausum?PHAEDRIA:Perii! hoc quid sit vereor.
PYTHIAS:Besides, too, the villain, after he had abused the girl,rent all the poor thing’s clothes, and tore her hair as well.PHAEDRIA: (apart, in surprise.)
PYTHIAS:Quin etiam insuper scelus, postquam ludificatus est virginem,Vestem omnem miserae discidit; tum ipsam capillo conscidit.
Ha!PYTHIAS:If he were just now in my reach, how eagerly would I fly at that villain’s eyes with my nails!PHAEDRIA: (apart.)
PHAEDRIA:Hem.PYTHIAS:Qui nunc si detur mihi,Ut ego unguibus facile illi in oculos involem venefico.
Really I can’t imagine what disturbance has happened to us at home in my absence. I’ll accost them. (Going up to them.) What’s the matter? Why in such haste? Or whom are you looking for, Pythias?
PHAEDRIA:Nescio, quid profecto absente nobis turbatum est domi.Adibo. Quid istuc? quid festinas? aut quem quaeris, Pythias?
PYTHIAS:Why, Phaedria, whom should I be looking for? Away with you, as you deserve, with such fine presents of yours.
PYTHIAS:Ehem, Phaedria, ego quem quaeram? ine hinc quo dignus es cum donis tuisTam lepidis?
PHAEDRIA:What is the matter?
PHAEDRIA:Quid istuc est rei?
PYTHIAS:What, do you ask? The Eunuch you gave us, what confusion he has caused. He has ravished the girl whom the Captain made present of to my mistress.
PYTHIAS:Rogas me? Eunuchum quem dedisti nobis quas turbas dedit!Virginem, herae quam dono dederat miles, vitiavit.
PHAEDRIA:What is it you say?
PHAEDRIA:Quid ais?
PYTHIAS:I’m ruined outright!
PYTHIAS:Perii.
PHAEDRIA:You are drunk.
PHAEDRIA:Temulenta es.
PYTHIAS:I wish that they were so, who wish ill to me.
PYTHIAS:Utinam sic sient qui mihi male volunt.
DORIAS:Oh, prithee, my dear Pythias, what a monstrous thing this is!
DORIAS:Au, obsecro, mea Pythias, quid istuc nam monstri fuit?
PHAEDRIA:You are out of your senses. How could a Eunuch possibly do this?
PHAEDRIA:Insanis: qui istuc facere eunuchus potuit?
PYTHIAS:I know nothing about him: as to what he has done, the thing speaks for itself. The girl is in tears; and when you ask her what’s the matter, she does not dare tell. But he, a precious fellow, is nowhere to be seen. To my sorrow I suspect too,that when he took himself off he carried something away from the house.
PYTHIAS:Ego illum nescioQui fuerit: hoc quod fecit res ipsa indicat.Virgo ipsa lacrimat, neque cum rogites quid sit, audet dicere.Ille autem bonus vir nusquam apparet. Etiam hoc misera suspicor,Aliquid domo abeuntem abstulisse.
PHAEDRIA:I can not enough wonder, whither this varlet can possibly have betaken himself to any distance from here; unless perhaps he has returned home to our house.
PHAEDRIA:Nequeo mirari satisQuo ille abire ignavus possit longius; nisi si domumForte ad nos rediit.
PYTHIAS:Pray, go and see whether he is there.
PYTHIAS:Vise amabo num sit.
PHAEDRIA:I’ll let you know immediately.(Goes into the house of LACHES.)
PHAEDRIA:Iam faxo scies.
DORIAS:Ruined outright! Prithee, my dear, I never did so much as hear of a deed so abominable!
DORIAS:Perii! obsecro tam infandum facinus, mea tu, ne audivi quidem.
PYTHIAS:Why, faith, I had heard that they were extremely fond of the women,but were incapable; unfortunately what has happened never came into my mind; otherwise I should have shut him up somewhere, and not have intrusted the girl to him.(Enter PHAEDRIA from the house of LACHES, with DORUS in CHAEREA’s clothes.)PHAEDRIA: (dragging him out.)
PYTHIAS:At pol ego amatores mulierum esse audieram eos maximos,Sed nihil potesse; verum miserae non in mentem venerat;Nam illum aliquo conclusissem, neque illi commisissem virginem.(PHAEDRIA. DORUS. PYTHIAS. DORIAS.)
Come out, you villain! What, do you lag behind, you runaway? Out with you, you sorry bargain!DORUS: (crying out.)Mercy, I do entreat you!
PHAEDRIA:Exi foras, sceleste: at etiam restitasFugitive? prodi, male conciliate.DORUS:Obsecro.
PHAEDRIA:Oh, do look at that! How the villain distorts his face.
PHAEDRIA:Oh,Illud vide, os ut sibi distorsit carnufex.
What means your coming back hither? Why this change of dress? What have you to say? If I had delayed a moment, Pythias, I shouldn’t have found him at home: he had just prepared, in this fashion, for flight.(Pointing at his dress.)
Quid huc tibi reditio est? vestis quid mutatio?Quid narras? Paulum si cessassem, Pythias,Domi non offendissem; ita iam ornarat fugam.
PYTHIAS:Have you caught the fellow, pray?
PYTHIAS:Habesne hominem amabo?
PHAEDRIA:Caught him, why not?
PHAEDRIA:Quidni habeam?
PYTHIAS:O well done!
PYTHIAS:Factum bene!
DORIAS:Upon my faith that really is capital!
DORIAS:Istuc pol vero bene.
PYTHIAS:Where is he?
PYTHIAS:Ubi est?
PHAEDRIA:Do you ask the question? Don’t you see him?(Pointing to the EUNUCH.)PYTHIAS: (staring about.)
PHAEDRIA:Rogitas? non vides?
See whom, pray?PHAEDRIA:This fellow, to be sure (pointing).
PYTHIAS:Videam? obsecro quem?PHAEDRIA:Hunc scilicet.
PYTHIAS:What person is this?
PYTHIAS:Quis hic est homo?
PHAEDRIA:The same that was brought to your house to-day.
PHAEDRIA:Qui ad vos deductus hodie est.
PYTHIAS:Not one of our people has ever beheld this person with her eyes, Phaedria.
PYTHIAS:Hunc oculis suisNostrarum numquam quisquam vidit, Phaedria.
PHAEDRIA:Not beheld him?
PHAEDRIA:Non vidit?
PYTHIAS:Prithee, did you fancy that this was he who was brought to our house?
PYTHIAS:An tu hunc credidisti esse, obsecro,Ad nos deductum?
PHAEDRIA:Why, I had no other.
PHAEDRIA:Namque alium habui neminem.
PYTHIAS:O dear!
PYTHIAS:Au!
this one really isn’t to be compared with the other. He was of a handsome and genteel appearance.PHAEDRIA:He seemed so, just then, because he was decked out in party-colored clothes: now he appears ugly, for this reason—because he hasn’t got them on.
Ne comparandus hic quidem ad illum est: ille eratHonesta facie et liberali.PHAEDRIA:Ita visus estDudum, quia varia veste exornatus fuit:Nunc eo tibi videtur foedus, quia illam non habet.
PYTHIAS:Prithee, do hold your tongue; as though indeed the difference was so trifling.
PYTHIAS:Tace, obsecro; quasi vero paulum intersiet.
A young man was brought to our house to-day, whom, really, Phaedria, you would have liked to look upon. This is a withered, antiquated, lethargic, old fellow, with a speckled complexion.PHAEDRIA: (starting.)Hah! What tale is this? You’ll so befool me that I sha’n’t know what I bought.
Ad nos deductus hodie est adolescentulus,Quem tu videre vero velles, Phaedria.Hic est vetus, victus, veternosus senex,Colore mustelino.PHAEDRIA:Hem, quae haec est fabula?Eo redigis me ut quid egerim egomet nesciam.
(To DORUS.) How now, sirrah, did I not buy you?DORUS:You did buy me.
Eho tu! emine ego te?DORUS:Emisti.
PYTHIAS:Bid him answer me in my turn.
PYTHIAS:Iube, mihi denuoRespondeat.
PHAEDRIA:Question him.
PHAEDRIA:Roga.
PYTHIAS: (to DORUS.)Did you come here to-day to our house? (DORUS shakes his head.) He says, no. But it was the other one that came, about sixteen years of age; whom Parmeno brought with him.
PYTHIAS:Venistine hodie ad nos? negat.At ille alter venit, annos natus sedecim,Quem secum adduxit Parmeno.
PHAEDRIA: (to DORUS.)Well now, in the first place tell me this, where did you get that dress that you have on? What, are you silent?
PHAEDRIA:Age dum, hoc mihi expediPrimum: istam quam habes unde habes vestem? taces?
Monster of a fellow, are you not going to speak?(Shakes him.)DORUS:Chaerea came.
Monstrum hominis! non dicturus es?DORUS:Venit Chaerea.
PHAEDRIA:What, my brother?
PHAEDRIA:Fraterne?
PHAEDRIA:When?
PHAEDRIA:Quando?
DORUS:To-day.
DORUS:Hodie.
PHAEDRIA:How long since?
PHAEDRIA:Quam dudum?
DORUS:Just now.
DORUS:Modo.
PHAEDRIA:With whom?
PHAEDRIA:Quicum?
DORUS:With Parmeno.
DORUS:Cum Parmenone.
PHAEDRIA:Did you know him before?
PHAEDRIA:Norasne eum prius?
DORUS:No.
DORUS:Non; nec quis esset umquam audieram dicier.
PHAEDRIA:How did you know he was my brother?
PHAEDRIA:Unde igitur fratrem meum esse scibas?
DORUS:Parmenosaid he was. He gave me these clothes.
DORUS:ParmenoDicebat eum esse: is dedit mihi hanc vestem.
PHAEDRIA:I’m undone!
PHAEDRIA:Occidi.
DORUS:He himself put on mine; afterward, they both went out together.
DORUS:Meam ipse induit: post una ambo abierunt foras.
PYTHIAS:Now are you quite satisfied that I am sober, and that we have told you no falsehood? Is it now sufficiently evident that the girl has been ravished?
PYTHIAS:Iam satis credis sobriam esse me, et nihil mentitam tibi?Iam satis certum est virginem vitiatam esse?
PHAEDRIA:Avaunt, you beast, do you believe what he says?
PHAEDRIA:Age nunc belluaCredis huic quod dicit?
PYTHIAS:What is there to believe? The thing speaks for itself.PHAEDRIA: (apart to DORUS.)
PYTHIAS:Quid isti credam? res ipsa indicat.
Step aside a little this way. Do you hear? (DORUS steps aside.) A little further still. That will do. Now tell me this once more; did Chaerea take your clothes off you?
PHAEDRIA:Concede istuc paululum: audin? etiam nunc paululum: sat est.Dicdum hoc rursum: Chaerea tuam vestem detraxit tibi?
DORUS:He did.
DORUS:Factum.
PHAEDRIA:And did he put them on?
PHAEDRIA:Et ea est indutus?
DORUS:He did.
DORUS:Factum.
PHAEDRIA:And was he brought here instead of you?
PHAEDRIA:Et pro te huc deductus est?
PHAEDRIA:Great Jupiter! O wicked and audacious fellow!
PHAEDRIA:Iupiter magne, o scelestum atque audacem hominem!
PYTHIAS:Woe unto me! Now at last will you believe that we have been insulted in a disgraceful manner?
PYTHIAS:Vae mihi!Etiam nunc non credis indignis nos esse irrisas modis?
PHAEDRIA:It is no wonder that you believe what the fellow says. (Aside.) What I’m to do I know not. (Aside to DORUS.) Hark you, deny it all again. (Aloud.) Can I not this day extract the truth from you? Did you really see my brother Chaerea?
PHAEDRIA:Mirum ni tu credas quod iste dicit: quid agam nescio.Heus, negato rursum. Possumne ego hodie ex te exsculpereVerum? vidistin fratrem Chaeream?
PHAEDRIA:He can’t be brought to confess without being punished, I see: follow me this way. At one moment he affirms, at another denies. (Aside.) Ask pardon of me.
PHAEDRIA:Non potest sineMalo fateri, video: sequere hac: modo ait, modo negat.Ora me.
DORUS:Indeed, I do entreat you, Phaedria.
DORUS:Obsecro te vero, Phaedria.
PHAEDRIA: (kicking him.)Be off in-doors.
PHAEDRIA:I intro nunc iam.
DORUS:Oh! oh!PHAEDRIA: (aside.)
DORUS:Oi, ei.
How in any other fashion to get decently out of this I don’t know; for really it’s all up with me. (Aloud, with pretended indignation.) Will you be trifling with me even here, you knave?(Follows DORUS into the house.)
PHAEDRIA:Alio pacto honeste quo modo hinc abeam nescio.Actum est, siquidem tu me hic etiam, nebulo, ludificabere.
PYTHIAS:I’m as certain that this is the contrivance of Parmeno as that I’m alive.
PYTHIAS:Parmenonis tam scio esse hanc technam quam me vivere.
DORIAS:So it is, no doubt.
DORIAS:Sic est.
PYTHIAS:I’faith, I’ll find out a method to-day to be even with him. But now, what do you think ought to be done, Dorias?
PYTHIAS:Inveniam pol hodie parem ubi referam gratiam.Sed nunc quid faciendum censes, Dorias?
DORIAS:Do you mean with regard to thisgirl?
DORIAS:De istac rogasVirgine?
PYTHIAS:Yes; whether I ought to mention it or be silent?DORIAS:Upon my word, if you are prudent, you won’t know what you do know, either about the Eunuch or the girl’s misfortune. By this method you’ll both rid yourself of all perplexity, and have done a service to her. Say this only, that Dorus has run away.
PYTHIAS:Ita: utrum taceamne an praedicem? Dor. Tu pol, si sapis,Quod scis nescis, neque de eunucho, neque de vitio virginis:Hac re et te omni turba evolves, et illi gratum feceris.Id odio dic, abisse Dorum.