---
title: "The Self-Tormentor · Heautontimorumenos"
author: "Terence"
translator: "Henry Thomas Riley"
languages: [la, en]
shelf: "Classical Latin"
section: 3 of 3
url: https://scriptura.si/works/terence-heautontimorumenos/3/
cite: "Terence, tr. Henry Thomas Riley, The Self-Tormentor · Heautontimorumenos, section 3. Scriptura (scriptura.si), https://scriptura.si/works/terence-heautontimorumenos/3/"
---

# The Self-Tormentor · Heautontimorumenos

*Terence, tr. Henry Thomas Riley*

A father punishes himself for driving his son away: “I am human; nothing human is alien to me.”

> Latin: ed. Edward St. John Parry, from the Perseus Digital Library (canonical-latinLit, phi0134.phi002, CC BY-SA 4.0).

> English: Henry Thomas Riley, from the Perseus Digital Library (phi0134.phi002.perseus-eng2). Notes are not included.

> Rows follow the references the two texts share (line numbers), cut where both reach the end of a sentence.

## 3. Lines 679–1067

Source: https://scriptura.si/works/terence-heautontimorumenos/3/ · cite a paragraph as https://scriptura.si/works/terence-heautontimorumenos/3/#p-N

[¶0] CLINIA:
What can I do? My dear Syrus, I’m transported with joy! Do bear with me.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Quid faciam, Syre mi? gaudeo: fer me.

[¶1] SYRUS:
I’ faith, I really do bear with you.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Fero hercle vero.

[¶2] CLINIA:
We are blest with the life of the Gods.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Deorum vitam apti sumus.

[¶3] SYRUS:
I’m taking pains to no purpose, I doubt.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Frustra operam, opinor, sumo.

[¶4] CLINIA:
Speak; I hear you.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Loquere; audio.

[¶5] SYRUS:
But still you’ll not mind it.

> Latin: SYRUS:
At iam hoc non ages.

[¶6] CLINIA:
I will.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Agam.

[¶7] SYRUS:
This must be seen to, I say,
that your friend’s business as well is placed in a state of security. For if you now go away from us, and leave Bacchis here, our old man will immediately come to know that she is Clitipho’s mistress; if you take her away with you, it will be concealed just as much as it has been hitherto concealed.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Videndum est, inquam,
Amici quoque res, Clinia, tui in tuto ut collocetur:
Nam si nunc a nobis abis, et Bacchidem hic relinquis,
Noster resciscet ilico esse amicam hanc Clitiphonis:
Si abduxeris, celabitur itidem ut celata adhuc est.

[¶8] CLINIA:
But still, Syrus, nothing can make more against my marriage than this;
for with what face am I to address my father about it? You understand what I mean?

> Latin: CLINIA:
At enim istoc nihil est magis, Syre, meis nuptiis adversum:
Nam quo ore appellabo patrem? Tenes quid dicam?

[¶9] SYRUS:
Why not?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quidni?

[¶10] CLINIA:
What can I say? What excuse can I make?

> Latin: CLINIA:
Quid dicam? quam causam afferam?

[¶11] SYRUS:
Nay, I don’t want you to dissemble; tell him the whole case just as it really is.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quin nolo mentiare.
Aperte ita ut res sese habet narrato.

[¶12] CLINIA:
What is it you say?

> Latin: CLINIA:
Quid ais?

[¶13] SYRUS:
I bid you do this; tell him that you are in love with her, and want her for a wife: that this Bacchis is Clitipho’s mistress.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Iubeo;
Illam te amare et velle uxorem: hanc esse Clitiphonis.

[¶14] CLINIA:
You require a thing that is fair and reasonable, and easy to be done.
And I suppose, then, you would have me request my father to keep it a secret from your old man.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Bonam atque iustam rem oppido imperas, et factu facilem;
Et scilicet iam me hoc voles patrem exorare ut celet
Senem vestrum.

[¶15] SYRUS:
On the contrary; to tell him directly the matter just as it is.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Immo, ut recta via rem narret ordine omnem.

[¶16] CLINIA:
What? Are you quite in your senses or sober? Why, you were for ruining him outright. For how could he be in a state of security? Tell me that.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Hem,
Satin sanus es, aut sobrius? tu quidem illum plane prodis.
Nam qui ille poterit esse in tuto? dic mihi.

[¶17] SYRUS:
For my part, I yield the palm to this device. Here I do pride myself exultingly, in having in myself such exquisite resources, and power of address so great, as to deceive them both by telling the truth: so that when your old man tells ours that she is his son’s mistress, he’ll still not believe him.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Huic equidem consilio palmam do: hic me magnifice effero,
Qui vim tantam in me et potestatem habeam tantae astutiae,
Vera dicendo ut eos ambos fallam; ut quum narret senex
Vester nostro istam esse amicam gnati, non credat tamen.

[¶18] CLINIA:
But yet, by these means you again cut off all hopes of my marriage; for as long as Chremes believes that she is my mistress, he’ll not give me his daughter.
Perhaps you care little what becomes of me, so long as you provide for him.

> Latin: CLINIA:
At enim spem istoc pacto rursum nuptiarum omnem eripis:
Nam, dum amicam hanc meam esse credet, non committet filiam.
Tu fortasse quid me fiat parvi pendis dum illi consulas.

[¶19] SYRUS:
What the plague, do you suppose I want this pretense to be kept up for an age?’Tis but for a single day, only till I have secured the money: you be quiet; I ask no more.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quid, malum, me aetatem censes velle id assimularier?
Unus est dies, dum argentum eripio: pax: nihil amplius.

[¶20] CLINIA:
Is that sufficient? If his father should come to know of it, pray, what then?

> Latin: CLINIA:
Tantum sat habes? quid tum, quaeso, si hoc pater resciverit?

[¶21] SYRUS:
What if I have recourse to those who say, “What now if the sky were to fall?”

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quid si redeo ad illos qui aiunt, “Quid si nunc coelum ruat?”

[¶22] CLINIA:
I’m afraid to go about it.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Metuo quid agam.

[¶23] SYRUS:
You, afraid! As if it was not in your power to clear yourself at any time you like, and discover the whole matter.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Metuis? quasi non ea potestas sit tua,
Quo velis in tempore ut te exsolvas, rem facias palam.

[¶24] CLINIA:
Well, well; let Bacchis be brought over to our house.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Age, age, traducatur Bacchis.

[¶25] SYRUS:
Capital! she is coming out of doors.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Optime ipsa exit foras.

[¶26] (Enter BACCHIS and PHRYGIA, from the house of CHREMES.)
BACCHIS: (pretending not to see CLINIA and SYRUS.)
To a very fine purpose, upon my faith, have the promises of Syrus brought me hither, who agreed to lend me ten minae. If now he
deceives me, oft as he may entreat me to come, he shall come in vain. Or else, when I’ve promised to come, and fixed the time, when he has carried word back for certain, and Clitipho is on the stretch of expectation, I’ll disappoint him and not come. Syrus will make atonement to me with his back.

> Latin: (BACCHIS.
CLINIA.
SYRUS.
DROMO. PHRYGIA.)
BACCHIS:
Satis pol proterve me Syri promissa huc induxerunt;
Decem minas quas mihi dare pollicitus est. Quod si is nunc
Me deceperit, saepe obsecrans me ut veniam frustra veniet.
Aut quum venturam dixero et constituero; quum is certo
Renuntiarit; Clitipho cum in spe pendebit animi;
Decipiam, ac non veniam: Syrus mihi tergo poenas pendet.

[¶27] CLINIA: (apart, to SYRUS.)
She promises you very fairly.

> Latin: CLINIA:
Satis scite promittit tibi.

[¶28] SYRUS: (to CLINIA.)
But do you think she is in jest?
She’ll do it, if I don’t take care.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Atqui tu hanc iocari credis?
Faciet, nisi caveo.

[¶29] BACCHIS: (aside.)
They’re asleep —I’faith, I’ll rouse them. (Aloud.) My dear Phrygia, did you hear about the country-seat of Charinus, which that man was showing us just now?
PHRYGIA:
I heard of it.

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Dormiunt: ego pol istos commovebo.
Mea Phrygia, audisti modo iste homo quam villam demonstravit
Charini?
PHRYGIA:
Audivi.

[¶30] BACCHIS: (aloud.)
That it was the next to the farm here on the right-hand side.
PHRYGIA:
I remember.

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Proximam esse huic fundo ad dextram?
PHRYGIA:
Memini.

[¶31] BACCHIS: (aloud.)
Run thither post-haste; the Captain is keeping the feast of Bacchus at his house.

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Curriculo percurre: apud eum miles Dionysia agitat.

[¶32] SYRUS: (apart.)
What is she going to be at?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quid inceptat?

[¶33] BACCHIS: (aloud.)
Tell him I am here very much against my inclination, and am detained;
but that by some means or other I’ll give them the slip and come to him.
(PHRYGIA moves.)

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Dic me hic oppido esse invitam, atque asservari;
Verum aliquo pacto verba me his daturam esse, et venturam.

[¶34] SYRUS: (coming forward.)
Upon my faith, I’m ruined! Bacchis, stay, stay; prithee, where are you sending her? Order her to stop.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Perii hercle. Bacchis, mane, mane: quo mittis istanc quaeso?
Iube maneat.

[¶35] BACCHIS: (to PHRYGIA.)
Be off.

> Latin: BACCHIS:
I.

[¶36] SYRUS:
Why, the money’s ready.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quin est paratum argentum.

[¶37] BACCHIS:
Why, then I’ll stay.
(PHRYGIA returns.)

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Quin ego maneo.

[¶38] SYRUS:
And it will be given you presently.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Atqui iam dabitur.

[¶39] BACCHIS:
Just when you please; do I press you?

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Ut libet: num ego insto?

[¶40] SYRUS:
But do you know what you are to do, pray?

> Latin: SYRUS:
At scin quid, sodes?

[¶41] BACCHIS:
What?

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Quid?

[¶42] SYRUS:
You must now go over to the house of Menedemus, and your equipage
must be taken over thither.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Transeundum nunc tibi ad Menedemum est, et tua pompa
Eo traducenda est.

[¶43] BACCHIS:
What scheme are you upon, you rascal?

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Quam rem agis, scelus?

[¶44] SYRUS:
What, I? Coining money to give you.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Egone? argentum cudo
Quod tibi dem.

[¶45] BACCHIS:
Do you think me a proper person for you to play upon?

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Dignam me putas quam illudas?

[¶46] SYRUS:
It’s not without a purpose.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Non est temere.

[¶47] BACCHIS: (pointing to the house.)
Why, have I any business then with you here?

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Etiamne tecum res hic mihi est?

[¶48] SYRUS:
O no; I’m only going to give you what’s your own.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Minime: tuum tibi reddo.

[¶49] BACCHIS:
Then let’s be going.

> Latin: BACCHIS:
Eatur.

[¶50] SYRUS:
Follow this way. (Goes to the door of MENEDIEMUS, and calls.) Ho there! Dromo.
(Enter DROMO from the house.)

> Latin: SYRUS:
Sequere hac. Heus, Dromo.

[¶51] DROMO:
Who is it wants me?

> Latin: DROMO:
Quis me vult?

[¶52] SYRUS:
Syrus.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Syrus.

[¶53] DROMO:
What’s the matter?

> Latin: DROMO:
Quid est rei?

[¶54] SYRUS:
Take over all the attendants of Bacchis to your house here immediately.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Ancillas omnes Bacchidis traduce huc ad vos propere.

[¶55] DROMO:
Why so?

> Latin: DROMO:
Quamobrem?

[¶56] SYRUS:
Ask no questions. Let them take what they brought here with them. The old gentleman will hope his expenses are lightened by their departure; for sure he little knows how much loss this trifling gain will bring him. You, Dromo, if you are wise, know nothing of what you do know.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Ne quaeras: efferant quae secum huc attulerunt.
Sperabit sumtum tibi senex levatum esse harum abitu.
Nae ille haud scit paullum lucri quantum ei damni apportet.
Tu nescis id quod scis, Dromo, si sapies.

[¶57] DROMO:
You shall own that I’m dumb.
(CLINIA, BACCHIS, and PHRYGIA go into the house of MENEDEMUS, and DROMO follows with BACCHIS’s retinue and baggage.)

> Latin: DROMO:
Mutum dices.

[¶58] (Enter CHREMES from his house.)
CHREMES: (to himself)
So may the Deities prosper me, I am now concerned for the fate of Menedemus,
that so great a misfortune should have befallen him. To be maintaining that woman with such a retinue! Although I am well aware he’ll not be sensible of it for some days to come, his son was so greatly missed by him; but when he sees such a vast expense incurred by him
every day at home, and no limit to it, he’ll wish that this son would leave him a second time. See—here comes Syrus most opportunely.

> Latin: (CHREMES. SYRUS.)
CHREMES:
Ita me Di amabunt ut nunc Menedemi vicem
Miseret me tantum devenisse ad eum mali.
Hancine mulierem alere cum illa familia?
Etsi scio hosce aliquot dies non sentiet;
Ita magno desiderio fuit ei filius:
Verum ubi videbit tantos sibi sumtus domi
Quotidiano fieri, nec fieri modum,
Optabit rursum ut abeat ab se filius.
Syrum optime eccum!

[¶59] SYRUS: (to himself, as he comes forward.)
Why delay to accost him?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Cesso hunc adoriri?

[¶60] CHREMES:
Syrus.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Syre.

[¶61] SYRUS:
Well.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Hem.

[¶62] CHREMES:
How go matters?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid est?

[¶63] SYRUS:
I’ve been wishing for some time for you to be thrown in my way.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Te mihi ipsum iam dudum optabam dari.

[¶64] CHREMES:
You seem, then, to have effected something, I know not what, with the old gentleman.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Videre egisse iam nescio quid cum sene.

[¶65] SYRUS:
As to what we were talking of a short time since? No sooner said than done.

> Latin: SYRUS:
De illo quod dudum? dictum ac factum reddidi.

[¶66] CHREMES:
In real earnest?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Bonane fide?

[¶67] SYRUS:
In real.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Bona hercle.

[¶68] CHREMES:
Upon my faith, I can not forbear patting your head for it. Come here, Syrus; I’ll do you some good turn for this matter, and with pleasure.
(Patting his head.)

> Latin: CHREMES:
Non possum pati
Quin tibi caput demulceam. Accede huc, Syre:
Faciam boni tibi aliquid pro ista re, ac libens.

[¶69] SYRUS:
But if you knew how cleverly it came into my head—

> Latin: SYRUS:
At si scias, quam scite in mentem venerit.

[¶70] CHREMES:
Pshaw! Do you boast because it has turned out according to your wishes

> Latin: CHREMES:
Vah, gloriare evenisse ex sententia?

[¶71] SYRUS:
On my word, not I, indeed; I am telling the truth.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Non hercle vero: verum dico.

[¶72] CHREMES:
Tell me how it is.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Dic, quid est?

[¶73] SYRUS:
Clinia has told Menedemus, that this Bacchis is your Clitipho’s mistress, and that he has taken her thither with him in order that you might not come to know of it.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Tui Clitiphonis esse amicam hanc Bacchidem
Menedemo dixit Clinia; et ea gratia
Secum adduxisse, ne tu id persentisceres.

[¶74] CHREMES:
Very good.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Probe.

[¶75] SYRUS:
Tell me, please, what you think of it.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Dic sodes.

[¶76] CHREMES:
Extremely good, I declare.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Nimium, inquam.

[¶77] SYRUS:
Why yes, pretty fair. But listen, what a piece of policy still remains. He is then to say that he has seen your daughter—that her beauty charmed him as soon as he beheld her; and that he desires her for a wife.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Immo sic satis.
Sed porro ausculta quod superest fallaciae.
Sese ipse dicet tuam vidisse filiam;
Eius sibi complacitam formam, postquam aspexerit;
Hanc cupere uxorem.

[¶78] CHREMES:
What, her that has just been discovered?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Modone quae inventa est?

[¶79] SYRUS:
The same;
and, in fact, he’ll request that she may be asked for.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Eam.
Et quidem iubebit posci.

[¶80] CHREMES:
For what purpose, Syrus? For I don’t altogether comprehend it.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quamobrem istuc, Syre?
Nam prorsum nihil intelligo.

[¶81] SYRUS:
O dear, you are so dull.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Hui! tardus es.

[¶82] CHREMES:
Perhaps so.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Fortasse.

[¶83] SYRUS:
Money will be given him for the wedding—with which golden trinkets and clothes—do you understand me?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Argentum dabitur ei ad nuptias,
Aurum, atque vestem, qui,—tenesne?

[¶84] CHREMES:
To buy them—?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Comparet?

[¶85] SYRUS:
Just so.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Id ipsum.

[¶86] CHREMES:
But I neither give nor betroth my daughter to him.

> Latin: CHREMES:
At ego illi neque do, neque despondeo.

[¶87] SYRUS:
But why?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Non? quamobrem?

[¶88] CHREMES:
Why, do you ask me? To a fellow—

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quamobrem? me rogas? Homini fugitivo dabo?

[¶89] SYRUS:
Just as you please. I don’t mean that in reality you should give her to him, but that you should pretend it.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Non ego dicebam in perpetuum illam illi ut dares;
Verum ut simulares.

[¶90] CHREMES:
Pretending is not in my way; do you mix up these plots of yours, so as not to mix me up in them. Do you think that I’ll betroth my daughter to a person to whom I will not marry her?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Non mea est simulatio.
Ita tu istaec tua misceto ne me admisceas.
Ego cui daturus non sum ut ei despondeam?

[¶91] SYRUS:
I imagined so.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Credebam.

[¶92] CHREMES:
By no means.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Minime.

[¶93] SYRUS:
It might have been cleverly managed; and I under-took this affair for the very reason, that a short time since you so urgently requested it.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Scite poterat fieri.
Et ego hoc, quia dudum tu tantopere iusseras,
Eo coepi.

[¶94] CHREMES:
I believe you.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Credo.

[¶95] SYRUS:
But for my part, Chremes, I take it well and good, either way.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Caeterum equidem istuc, Chreme,
Aequi bonique facio.

[¶96] CHREMES:
But still, I especially wish you to do your best for it to be brought about; but in some other way.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Atqui cummaxime
Volo te dare operam ut fiat, verum alia via.

[¶97] SYRUS:
It shall be done: some other method must be thought of; but as to what I was telling you of,—about the money which she owes to Bacchis,—that must now be repaid her. And you will not, of course, now be having recourse to this method; “What have I to do with it? Was it lent to me? Did I give any orders? Had she the power to pawn my daughter”
“without my consent?” They quote that saying, Chremes, with good reason, “Riorous law is often rigorous injustice.”

> Latin: SYRUS:
Fiat: quaeratur aliud: sed illud quod tibi
Dixi de argento, quod ista debet Bacchidi,
Id nunc reddendum est illi: neque tu scilicet
Eo nunc confugies: “Quid mea? num datum mihi est?”
“Num iussi? num illa oppignerare filiam”
“Meam, me invito, potuit?” Verum illud, Chreme,
Dicunt, Ius summum saepe summa malitia est.

[¶98] CHREMES:
I will not do so.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Haud faciam.

[¶99] SYRUS:
On the contrary, though others were at liberty, you are not at liberty; all think that you are in good and very easy circumstances.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Immo aliis si licet, tibi non licet.
Omnes te in lauta et bene acta parte putant.

[¶100] CHREMES:
Nay rather, I’ll at once carry it to her myself.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quin egomet iam ad eam deferam.

[¶101] SYRUS:
Why no; request your son in preference.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Immo filium
Iube potius.

[¶102] CHREMES:
For what reason?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quamobrem?

[¶103] SYRUS:
Why, because the suspicion of being in love with her has been transferred to him with Menedemus.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quia enim in hunc suspicio est
Translata amoris.

[¶104] CHREMES:
What then?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid tum?

[¶105] SYRUS:
Because it will seem to be more like probability when he gives it her; and at the same time I shall effect more easily what I wish. Here he comes too; go, and bring out the money.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quia videbitur
Magis verisimile id esse, quum hic illi dabit:
Simul et conficiam facilius ego, quod volo.
Ipse adeo adest: abi, effer argentum.

[¶106] CHREMES:
I’ll bring it.
(Goes into his house.)

> Latin: CHREMES:
Effero.

[¶107] (Enter CLITIPHO.)
CLITIPHO: (to himself.)
There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance. As this walk of mine, for instance, though not fatiguing, it has reduced me to weariness. And now I dread nothing more than that I should be packed off somewhere hence once again, that I may not have access to Bacchis.
May then all the Gods and Goddesses, as many as exist, confound you, Syrus, with these stratagems and plots of yours. You are always devising something of this kind, by means of which to torture me.

> Latin: (CLITIPHO. SYRUS.)
CLITIPHO:
Nulla est tam facilis res quin difficilis siet,
Quam invitus facias. Vel me haec deambulatio,
Quam non laboriosa, ad languorem dedit.
Nec quicquam magis nunc metuo quam ne denuo
Miser aliquo extrudar hinc, ne accedam ad Bacchidem.
Ut te quidem omnes Dii Deaeque, quantum est, Syre,
Cum tuo istoc invento, cumque incepto perduint.
Huiusmodi res semper comminiscere,
Ubi me excarnifices.

[¶108] SYRUS:
Will you not away with you—to where you deserve? How nearly had your forwardness proved my ruin!

> Latin: SYRUS:
I tu hinc quo dignus es.
Quam pene tua me perdidit protervitas!

[¶109] CLITIPHO:
Upon my faith, I wish it had been so; just what you deserve.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Vellem hercle factum: ita meritus es.

[¶110] SYRUS:
Deserve? How so? Really, I’m glad that I’ve heard this from you before you had the money which I was just going to give you.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Meritus? quomodo?
Nae me istuc ex te prius audivisse gaudeo
Quam argentum haberes, quod daturus iam fui.

[¶111] CLITIPHO:
What then would you have me to say to you? You’ve made a fool of me; brought my mistress hither, whom I’m not allowed to touch—

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quid igitur dicam tibi vis? abiisti, mihi
Amicam adduxti, quam non liceat tangere.

[¶112] SYRUS:
Well, I’m not angry then. But do you know where Bacchis is just now?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Iam non sum iratus: sed scin ubi nunc sit tibi
Tua Bacchis?

[¶113] CLITIPHO:
At our house.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Apud nos.

[¶114] SYRUS:
No.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Non.

[¶115] CLITIPHO:
Where then?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Ubi ergo?

[¶116] SYRUS:
At Clinia’s.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Apud Cliniam.

[¶117] CLITIPHO:
I’m ruined!

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Perii.

[¶118] SYRUS:
Be of good heart; you shall presently carry to her the money that you promised her.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Bono animo es: iam argentum ad eam deferes
Quod ei es pollicitus.

[¶119] CLITIPHO:
You do prate away.—Where from?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Garris: unde?

[¶120] SYRUS:
From your own father.

> Latin: SYRUS:
A tuo patre.

[¶121] CLITIPHO:
Perhaps you are joking with me.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Ludis fortasse me.

[¶122] SYRUS:
The thing itself will prove it.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Ipsa re experibere.

[¶123] CLITIPHO:
Indeed, then, I am a lucky man. Syrus, I do love you from my heart.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Nae ego fortunatus homo sum: deamo te, Syre.

[¶124] SYRUS:
But your father’s coming out. Take care not to express surprise at any thing, for what reason it is done; give way at the proper moment; do what he orders, and say but little.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Sed pater egreditur: cave quicquam admiratus sies
Qua causa id fiat: obsecundato in loco.
Quod imperabit facito; loquitor paucula.

[¶125] (Enter CHREMES from the house, with a bag of money.)
CHREMES:
Where’s Clitipho now?

> Latin: (CHREMES.
CLITIPHO. SYRUS.)
CHREMES:
Ubi Clitipho nunc est?

[¶126] SYRUS: (aside to CLITIPHO.)
Say—here I am.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Eccum me, inque.

[¶127] CLITIPHO:
Here am I.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Eccum hic tibi.

[¶128] CHREMES: (to SYRUS.)
Have you told him how it is?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid rei esset dixti huic?

[¶129] SYRUS:
I’ve told him pretty well every thing.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Dixi pleraque omnia.

[¶130] CHREMES:
Take this money, and carry it.
(Holding out the bag.)

> Latin: CHREMES:
Cape hoc argentum ac defer.

[¶131] SYRUS: (aside to CLITIPHO.)
Go—why do you stand still, you stone; why don’t you take it?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Hei, quid stas? lapis?
Quin accipis?

[¶132] CLITIPHO:
Very well, give it me.
(Receives the bag.)

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Cedo sane.

[¶133] SYRUS: (to CLITIPHO.)
Follow me this way directly. (To CHREMES.) You in the mean while will wait here for us till we return; for there’s no occasion for us to stay there long.
(CLITIPHO and SYRUS go into the house of MENEDEMUS.)

> Latin: SYRUS:
Sequere hac me ocius.
Tu hic nos dum eximus interea opperibere;
Nam nihil est illic quod moremur diutius.

[¶134] CHREMES: (to himself.)
My daughter, in fact, has now had ten minae from me, which I consider as paid for her board; another ten will follow these for clothes; and then she will require two talents for her portion. How many things, both just and unjust, are sanctioned by custom!
Now I’m obliged, neglecting my business, to look out for some one on whom to bestow my property, that has been acquired by my labor.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Minas quidem iam decem habet a me filia,
Quas pro alimentis esse nunc duco datas:
Hasce ornamentis consequentur alterae.
Porro haec talenta dotis adposcent duo.
Quam multa iniusta ac prava fiunt moribus!
Mihi nunc, relictis rebus, inveniendus est
Aliquis labore inventa mea cui dem bona.

[¶135] (Enter MENEDEMUS from his house.)
MENEDEMUS: (to CLINIA within.)
My son, I now think myself the happiest of all men, since I find that you have returned to a rational mode of life.

> Latin: (MENEDEMUS. CHREMES.)
MENEDEMUS:
Multo omnium nunc me fortunatissimum
Factum puto esse, gnate, quum te intelligo
Resipisse.

[¶136] CHREMES: (aside.)
How much he is mistaken!

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ut errat.

[¶137] MENEDEMUS:
Chremes, you are the very person I wanted;
preserve, so far as in you lies, my son, myself, and my family.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Te ipsum quaerebam, Chreme.
Serva, quod in te est, filium et me et familiam.

[¶138] CHREMES:
Tell me what you would have me do.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Cedo quid vis faciam?

[¶139] MENEDEMUS:
You have this day found a daughter.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Invenisti hodie filiam.

[¶140] CHREMES:
What then?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid tum?

[¶141] MENEDEMUS:
Clinia wishes her to be given him for a wife.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Hanc sibi uxorem dari vult Clinia.

[¶142] CHREMES:
Prithee, what kind of a person are you?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quaeso quid tu hominis es?

[¶143] MENEDEMUS:
Why?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid est?

[¶144] CHREMES:
Have you already forgotten what passed between us, concerning a scheme,
that by that method some money might be got out of you?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Iamne oblitus es
Inter nos quid sit dictum de fallacia,
Ut ea via abs te argentum auferretur?

[¶145] MENEDEMUS:
I remember.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Scio.

[¶146] CHREMES:
That self-same thing they are now about.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ea res nunc agitur ipsa.

[¶147] MENEDEMUS:
What do you tell me, Chremes? Why surely, this Courtesan, who is at my house, is Clitipho’s mistress.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid dixti, Chreme?
Immo haec quidem, quae apud me est, Clitiphonis est
Amica.

[¶148] CHREMES:
So they say, and you believe it all; and they say that he is desirous of a wife, in order that, when I have betrothed her,
you may give him money, with which to provide gold trinkets and clothing, and other things that are requisite.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ita aiunt: et tu credis omnia:
Et illum aiunt velle uxorem, ut, quum desponderim,
Des qui aurum ac vestem atque alia quae opus sunt comparet.

[¶149] MENEDEMUS:
That is it, no doubt; that money will be given to his mistress.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Id est profecto: id amicae dabitur.

[¶150] CHREMES:
Of course it is to be given.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Scilicet
Daturum.

[¶151] MENEDEMUS:
Alas! in vain then, unhappy man, have I been overjoyed; still however, I had rather any thing than be deprived of him. What answer now shall I report from you, Chremes,
so that he may not perceive that I have found it out, and take it to heart?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Vah, frustra sum igitur gavisus miser.
Quidvis tamen iam malo quam hunc amittere.
Quid nunc renuntiem abs te responsum, Chreme,
Ne sentiat me sensisse, atque aegre ferat?

[¶152] CHREMES:
To heart, indeed! you are too indulgent to him, Menedemus.

> Latin: CHREMES:
“Aegre?” nimium illi, Menedeme, indulges.

[¶153] MENEDEMUS:
Let me go on; I have now begun: assist me in this throughout, Chremes.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Sine.
Inceptum est: perfice hoc mihi perpetuo, Chreme.

[¶154] CHREMES:
Say then, that you have seen me, and have treated about the marriage.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Dic convenisse; egisse te de nuptiis.

[¶155] MENEDEMUS:
I’ll say so—what then?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Dicam: quid deinde?

[¶156] CHREMES:
That I will do every thing;
that as a son-in-law he meets my approbation; in fine, too, if you like, tell him also that she has been promised him.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Me facturum esse omnia;
Generum placere: postremo etiam, si voles,
Desponsam quoque esse dicito.

[¶157] MENEDEMUS:
Well, that’s what I wanted—

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Hem, istuc volueram.

[¶158] CHREMES:
That he may the sooner ask of you, and you may as soon as possible give him what you wish.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Tanto ocius te ut poscat, et tu id quod cupis
Quam ocissime ut des.

[¶159] MENEDEMUS:
It is my wish.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Cupio.

[¶160] CHREMES:
Assuredly, before very long, according as I view this matter, you’ll have enough of him.
But, however that may be, if you are wise, you’ll give to him cautiously, and a little at a time.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Nae tu propediem,
Ut istam rem video, istius obsaturabere.
Sed haec ut ut sunt, cautim et paulatim dabis,
Si sapies.

[¶161] MENEDEMUS:
I’ll do so.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Faciam.

[¶162] CHREMES:
Go in-doors and see how much he requires. I shall be at home, if you should want me for any thing.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Abi intro; vide quid postulet.
Ego domi ero, si quid me voles.

[¶163] MENEDEMUS:
I certainly do want you; for I shall let you know whatever I do.
(They go into their respective houses.)

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Sane volo:
Nam te sciente faciam, quicquid egero.

[¶164] (Enter MENEDEMUS from his house.)
MENEDEMUS: (to himself.)
I am quite aware that I am not so overwise, or so very quick-sighted;
but this assistant, prompter, and director of mine, Chremes, outdoes me in that. Any one of those epithets which are applied to a fool is suited to myself, such as dolt, post, ass, lump of lead; to him not one can apply; his stupidity surpasses them all.
(Enter CHREMES, speaking to SOSTRATA within.)

> Latin: (MENEDEMUS. CHREMES.)
MENEDEMUS:
Ego me non tam astutum, neque ita perspicacem esse certo scio:
Sed hic adiutor meus et monitor et praemonstrator Chremes
Hoc mihi praestat. In me quidvis harum rerum convenit
Quae sunt dicta in stultum; caudex, stipes, asinus, plumbeus:
In illum nihil potest; nam exsuperat eius stultitia haec omnia.

[¶165] CHREMES:
Hold now, do, wife, leave off dinning the Gods with thanksgivings
that your daughter has been discovered; unless you judge of them by your own disposition, and think that they understand nothing, unless the same thing has been told them a hundred times. But, in the mean time, why does my son linger there so long with Syrus?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ohe, iam desine Deos, uxor, gratulando obtundere,
Tuam esse inventam gnatam; nisi illos ex tuo ingenio iudicas,
Ut nihil credas intelligere nisi idem dictum sit centies.
Sed interim, quid illic iam dudum gnatus cessat cum Syro?

[¶166] MENEDEMUS:
What persons do you say are lingering?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quos ais homines, Chreme, cessare?

[¶167] CHREMES:
Ha! Menedemus, you have come opportunely. Tell me, have you told Clinia what I said?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ehem, Menedeme, advenis?
Dic mihi, Cliniae quae dixi nuntiastine?

[¶168] MENEDEMUS:
Every thing.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Omnia.

[¶169] CHREMES:
What did he say?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid ait?

[¶170] MENEDEMUS:
He began to rejoice, just like people do who wish to be married.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Gaudere adeo coepit quasi qui cupiunt nuptias.

[¶171] CHREMES: (laughing.)
Ha! ha! ha!

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ha ha he!

[¶172] MENEDEMUS:
Why are you laughing?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid risisti?

[¶173] CHREMES:
The sly tricks of my servant, Syrus, just came into my mind.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Servi venere in mentem Syri
Calliditates.

[¶174] MENEDEMUS:
Did they?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Itane?

[¶175] CHREMES:
The rogue can even mould the countenances of people.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Vultus quoque hominum fingit scelus.

[¶176] MENEDEMUS:
That my son is pretending that he is overjoyed, is it that you mean?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Gnatus quod se adsimulat laetum, id dicis?

[¶177] CHREMES:
Just so.
(Laughing.)

> Latin: CHREMES:
Id.

[¶178] MENEDEMUS:
The very same thing came into my mind.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Idem istuc mihi
Venit in mentem.

[¶179] CHREMES:
A crafty knave!

> Latin: CHREMES:
Veterator!

[¶180] MENEDEMUS:
Still more would you think such to be the fact, if you knew more.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Magis, si magis noris, putes
Ita rem esse.

[¶181] CHREMES:
Do you say so?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ain tu?

[¶182] MENEDEMUS:
Do you give attention then?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quin tu ausculta.

[¶183] CHREMES:
Just stop—first I want to know this, what money you have squandered; for when you told your son that she was promised, of course Dromo would at once throw in a word that golden jewels, clothes, and attendants would be needed for the bride, in order that you might give the money.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Mane. Hoc prius scire expeto,
Quid perdideris. Nam ubi desponsam nuntiasti filio,
Continuo iniecisse verba tibi Dromonem scilicet,
Sponsae vestem, aurum, atque ancillas opus esse, argentum ut dares.

[¶184] MENEDEMUS:
No.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Non.

[¶185] CHREMES:
How, no?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid? non?

[¶186] MENEDEMUS:
No, I tell you.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Non, inquam.

[¶187] CHREMES:
Nor yet your son himself?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Neque ipse gnatus?

[¶188] MENEDEMUS:
Not in the slightest, Chremes.
He was only the more pressing on this one point, that the match might be concluded to-day.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Nihil prorsus, Chreme:
Magis unum etiam instare ut hodie conficerentur nuptiae.

[¶189] CHREMES:
You say what’s surprising. What did my servant Syrus do? Didn’t even he say any thing?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Mira narras. Quid Syrus meus? ne is quidem quicquam?

[¶190] MENEDEMUS:
Nothing at all.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Nihil.

[¶191] CHREMES:
For what reason, I don’t know.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quamobrem nescio.

[¶192] MENEDEMUS:
For my part, I wonder at that, when you know other things so well. But this same Syrus has moulded your son, too, to such perfection, that there could not be even the slightest suspicion that she is Clinia’s mistress!

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Equidem miror, qui alia tam plane scias.
Sed ille tuum quoque Syrus idem mire finxit filium,
Ut ne paululum quidem subolat, esse amicam hanc Cliniae.

[¶193] CHREMES:
What do you say?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid ais?

[¶194] MENEDEMUS:
Not to mention, then, their kissing and embracing; that I count nothing.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Mitto iam osculari atque amplexari: id nihil puto.

[¶195] CHREMES:
What more could be done to carry on the cheat?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid est, quod amplius simuletur?

[¶196] MENEDEMUS:
Pshaw!

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Vah!

[¶197] CHREMES:
What do you mean?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid est?

[¶198] MENEDEMUS:
Only listen. In the inner part of my house there is a certain room at the back; into this a bed was brought, and was made up with bed-clothes.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Audi modo:
Est mihi ultimis conclave in aedibus quoddam retro:
Huc est intro latus lectus; vestimentis stratus est.

[¶199] CHREMES:
What took place after this?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid postquam hoc est factum?

[¶200] MENEDEMUS:
No sooner said than done, thither went Clitipho.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Dictum factum, huc abiit Clitipho.

[¶201] CHREMES:
Alone?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Solus?

[¶202] MENEDEMUS:
Alone.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Solus.

[¶203] CHREMES:
I’m alarmed.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Timeo.

[¶204] MENEDEMUS:
Bacchis followed directly.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Bacchis consecuta est ilico.

[¶205] CHREMES:
Alone?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Sola?

[¶206] MENEDEMUS:
Alone.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Sola.

[¶207] CHREMES:
I’m undone!

> Latin: CHREMES:
Perii.

[¶208] MENEDEMUS:
When they had gone into the room, they shut the door.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Ubi abiere intro, operuere ostium.

[¶209] CHREMES:
Well—did Clinia see all this going on?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Hem,
Clinia haec fieri videbat?

[¶210] MENEDEMUS:
How shouldn’t he? He was with me.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quidni? mecum una simul.

[¶211] CHREMES:
Bacchis is my son’s mistress, Menedemus I’m undone.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Fili est amica Bacchis, Menedeme. Occidi.

[¶212] MENEDEMUS:
Why so?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quamobrem?

[¶213] CHREMES:
I have hardly substance to suffice for ten days.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Decem dierum vix mihi est familia.

[¶214] MENEDEMUS:
What! are you alarmed at it, because he is paying attention to his friend?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid? istuc times quod ille operam amico dat suo?

[¶215] CHREMES:
His “she-friend” rather.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Immo quod amicae.

[¶216] MENEDEMUS:
If he really is paying it.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Si dat.

[¶217] CHREMES:
Is it a matter of doubt to you? Do you suppose that there is any person of so accommodating and tame a spirit as to suffer his own mistress, himself looking on, to—

> Latin: CHREMES:
An dubium id tibi est?
Quemquamne animo tam communi esse, aut leni putas,
Qui se vidente amicam patiatur suam?—

[¶218] MENEDEMUS: (chuckling and speaking ironically.)
Why not? That I may be imposed upon the more easily.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quidni? quo verba facilius dentur mihi.

[¶219] CHREMES:
Do you laugh at me? You have good reason. How angry I now am with myself! How many things gave proof, whereby, had I not been a stone, I might have been fully sensible of this? What was it I saw? Alas! wretch that I am! But assuredly they shall not escape my vengeance if I live; for this instant—

> Latin: CHREMES:
Derides merito. Mihi nunc ego succenseo.
Quot res dedere ubi possem persentiscere,
Nisi essem lapis? Quae vidi! Vae misero mihi.
At nae illud haud inultum, si vivo, ferent:
Nam iam-

[¶220] MENEDEMUS:
Can you not contain yourself? Have you no respect for yourself?
Am I not a sufficient example to you?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Non tu te cohibes? non te respicis?
Non tibi ego exempli satis sum?

[¶221] CHREMES:
For very anger, Menedemus, I am not myself.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Prae iracundia,
Menedeme, non sum apud me.

[¶222] MENEDEMUS:
For you to talk in that manner! Is it not a shame for you to be giving advice to others, to show wisdom abroad and yet be able to do nothing for yourself?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Tene istuc loqui?
Nonne id flagitium est, te aliis consilium dare,
Foris sapere, tibi non posse auxiliarier?

[¶223] CHREMES:
What shall I do?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid faciam?

[¶224] MENEDEMUS:
That which you said I failed to do:
make him sensible that you are his father; make him venture to intrust every thing to you, to seek and to ask of you; so that he may look for no other resources and forsake you.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Id quod me fecisse aiebas parum.
Fac te patrem esse sentiat; fac ut audeat
Tibi credere omnia, abs te petere et poscere;
Ne quam aliam quaerat copiam, ac te deserat.

[¶225] CHREMES:
Nay, I had much rather he would go any where in the world, than by his debaucheries here reduce his father to beggary!
For if I go on supplying his extravagance, Menedemus, in that case my circumstances will undoubtedly be soon reduced to the level of your rake.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Immo abeat multo malo quovis gentium,
Quam hic per flagitium ad inopiam redigat patrem:
Nam, si illi pergo suppeditare sumtibus,
Menedeme, mihi illaec vero ad rastros res redit.

[¶226] MENEDEMUS:
What evils you will bring upon yourself in this affair, if you don’t act with caution! You’ll show yourself severe, and still pardon him at last; that too with an ill grace.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quot incommoditates in hac re accipies, nisi caves?
Difficilem ostendes te esse, et ignosces tamen
Post; et id ingratum.

[¶227] CHREMES:
Ah! you don’t know how vexed I am.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ah, nescis quam doleam.

[¶228] MENEDEMUS:
Just as you please.
What about that which I desire—that she may be married to my son? Unless there is any other step that you would prefer.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Ut libet.
Quid hoc quod volo, ut illa nubat nostro? nisi quid est
Quod mavis.

[¶229] CHREMES:
On the contrary, both the son-in-law and the connection are to my taste.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Immo et gener et affines placent.

[¶230] MENEDEMUS:
What portion shall I say that you have named for your daughter? Why are you silent?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid dotis dicam te dixisse filio?
Quid obticuisti?

[¶231] CHREMES:
Portion?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Dotis?

[¶232] MENEDEMUS:
I say so.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Ita dico.

[¶233] CHREMES:
Alas!

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ah!

[¶234] MENEDEMUS:
Chremes, don’t be at all afraid to speak, if it is but a small one. The portion is no consideration at all with us.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Chreme,
Ne quid vereare si minus: nihil nos dos movet.

[¶235] CHREMES:
I did think that two talents were sufficient, according to my means. But if you wish me to be saved, and my estate and my son, you must say to this effect, that I have settled all my property on her as her portion.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Duo talenta pro re nostra ego esse decrevi satis.
Sed ita dictu opus est, si me vis salvum esse, rem, et filium,
Me mea omnia bona doti dixisse illi.

[¶236] MENEDEMUS:
What scheme are you upon?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quam rem agis?

[¶237] CHREMES:
Pretend that you wonder at this, and at the same time ask him the reason why I do so.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Id mirari te simulato, et illum hoc rogitato simul,
Quamobrem id faciam.

[¶238] MENEDEMUS:
Why, really, I can’t conceive the reason for your doing so.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quin ego vero quamobrem id facias nescio.

[¶239] CHREMES:
Why do I do so? To check his feelings, which are now hurried away by luxury and wantonness, and to bring him down so as not to know which way to turn himself.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Egone? ut eius animum, qui nunc luxuria et lascivia
Diffluit, retundam, redigam ut quo se vertat nesciat.

[¶240] MENEDEMUS:
What is your design?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid agis?

[¶241] CHREMES:
Let me alone, and give me leave to have my own way in this matter.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Mitte; sine me in hac re gerere mihi morem.

[¶242] MENEDEMUS:
I do give you leave: is this your desire?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Sino.
Itane vis?

[¶243] CHREMES:
It is so.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ita.

[¶244] MENEDEMUS:
Then be it so.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Fiat.

[¶245] CHREMES:
And now let your son prepare to fetch the bride. The other one shall be schooled in such language as befits children. But Syrus—

> Latin: CHREMES:
Age iam uxorem ut arcessat paret.
Hic ita ut liberos est aequum dictis confutabitur.
Sed Syrum.

[¶246] MENEDEMUS:
What of him?

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Quid eum?

[¶247] CHREMES:
What? If I live, I will have him so handsomely dressed, so well combed out, that he shall always remember me as long as he lives; to imagine that I’m to be a laughing-stock and a plaything for him! So may the Gods bless me! he would not have dared to do to a widow-woman the things which he has done to me.
(They go into their respective houses.)

> Latin: CHREMES:
Egone? si vivo, adeo exornatum dabo,
Adeo depexum, ut dum vivat meminerit semper mei;
Qui sibi me pro ridiculo ac delectamento putat.
Non, ita me Di ament, auderet haec facere viduae mulieri,
Quae in me fecit.

[¶248] (Enter MENEDEMUS, with CLITIPHO and SYRUS.)
CLITIPHO:
Prithee, is it really the fact, Menedemus, that my father can,
in so short a space of time, have cast off all the natural affection of a parent for me? For what crime? What so great enormity have I, to my misfortune, committed? Young men generally do the same.

> Latin: (CLITIPHO.
MENEDEMUS.
CHREMES. SYRUS.)
CLITIPHO:
Itane tandem quaeso, Menedeme, ut pater
Tam in brevi spatio omnem de me eiecerit animum patris?
Quodnam ob facinus? quid ego tantum sceleris admisi miser?
Vulgo faciunt.

[¶249] MENEDEMUS:
I am aware that this must be much more harsh and severe to you, on whom it falls; but yet I take it no less amiss than you. How it is so I know not, nor can I account for it, except that from my heart I wish you well.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Scio tibi esse hoc gravius multo ac durius,
Cui fit; verum ego haud minus aegre patior. Id qui nescio,
Nec rationem capio, nisi quod tibi bene ex animo volo.

[¶250] CLITIPHO:
Did not you say that my father was waiting here?
(Enter CHREMES from his house.)

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Hic patrem adstare aibas?

[¶251] MENEDEMUS:
See, here he is.
(MENEDEMUS goes into his house.)

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Eccum.

[¶252] CHREMES:
Why are you blaming me, Clitipho? Whatever I have done in this matter, I had a view to you and your imprudence. When I saw that you were of a careless disposition, and held the pleasures of the moment of the first importance, and did not look forward to the future, I took measures that you might neither want nor be able to waste this which I have.
When, through your own conduct, it was not allowed me to give it you, to whom I ought before all, I had recourse to those who were your nearest relations; to them I have made over and intrusted every thing. There you’ll always find a refuge for your folly; food, clothing, and a roof under which to betake yourself.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid me incusas, Clitipho?
Quicquid ego huius feci, tibi prospexi et stultitiae tuae.
Ubi te vidi animo esse omisso, et suavia in praesentia
Quae essent prima habere, neque consulere in longitudinem,
Cepi rationem ut neque egeres, neque ut haec posses perdere.
Ubi cui decuit primo tibi non licuit per te mihi dare,
Abii ad proximos qui erant tibi; eis commisi et credidi:
Ibi tuae stultitiae semper erit praesidium, Clitipho;
Victus, vestitus, quo in tectum te receptes.

[¶253] CLITIPHO:
Ah me!

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Hei mihi!

[¶254] CHREMES:
It is better than that, you being my heir, Bacchis should possess this estate of mine.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Satius est quam te ipso herede haec possidere Bacchidem.

[¶255] SYRUS: (apart.)
I’m ruined irrevocably!—Of what mischief have I, wretch that I am, unthinkingly been the cause?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Disperii: scelestus quantas turbas concivi insciens!

[¶256] CLITIPHO:
Would I were dead!

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Emori cupio.

[¶257] CHREMES:
Prithee, first learn what it is to live. When you know that, if life displeases you, then try the other.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Prius quaeso disce quid sit vivere:
Ubi scies, si displicebit vita, tum istoc utitor.

[¶258] SYRUS:
Master, may I be allowed—?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Here, licetne?

[¶259] CHREMES:
Say on.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Loquere.

[¶260] SYRUS:
But may I safely?

> Latin: SYRUS:
At tuto?

[¶261] CHREMES:
Say on.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Loquere.

[¶262] SYRUS:
What injustice or what madness is this, that that in which I have offended, should be to his detriment?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quae ista est pravitas,
Quaeve amentia est, quod peccavi ego id obesse huic?

[¶263] CHREMES:
It’s all over.
Don’t you mix yourself up in it; no one accuses you, Syrus, nor need you look out for an altar, or for an intercessor for yourself.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ilicet.
Ne te admisce: nemo accusat, Syre, te; nec tu aram tibi
Nec precatorem pararis.

[¶264] SYRUS:
What is your design?

> Latin: SYRUS:
Quid agis?

[¶265] CHREMES:
I am not at all angry either with you, (to SYRUS), or with you (to CLITIPHO); nor is it fair that you should be so with me for what I am doing.
(He goes into his house.)

> Latin: CHREMES:
Nihil succenseo,
Nec tibi nec huic: nec vos est aequum quod facio mihi.

[¶266] SYRUS:
He’s gone. I wish I had asked him—

> Latin: SYRUS:
Abiit; vah, rogasse vellem.

[¶267] CLITIPHO:
What, Syrus?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quid?

[¶268] SYRUS:
Where I am to get my subsistence; he has so utterly cast us adrift. You are to have it, for the present, at your sister’s, I find.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Unde mihi peterem cibum:
Ita nos alienavit: tibi iam esse ad sororem intelligo.

[¶269] CLITIPHO:
Has it then come to this pass, Syrus—that I am to be in danger even of starving?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Adeon rem rediisse ut periculum etiam fame mihi sit, Syre?

[¶270] SYRUS:
So we only live, there’s hope—

> Latin: SYRUS:
Modo liceat vivere, est spes—

[¶271] CLITIPHO:
What hope?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quae?

[¶272] SYRUS:
That we shall be hungry enough.

> Latin: SYRUS:
nos esurituros satis.

[¶273] CLITIPHO:
Do you jest in a matter so serious, and not give me any assistance with your advice?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Irrides in re tanta, neque me quicquam consilio adiuvas?

[¶274] SYRUS:
On the contrary, I’m both now thinking of that, and have been about it all the time your father was speaking just now; and so far as I can perceive—

> Latin: SYRUS:
Immo et ibi nunc sum, et usque id egi dudum, dum loquitur pater;
Et, quantum ego intelligere possum—

[¶275] CLITIPHO:
What?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quid?

[¶276] SYRUS:
It will not be wanting long.
(He meditates.)

> Latin: SYRUS:
non aberit longius.

[¶277] CLITIPHO:
What is it, then?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quid id ergo?

[¶278] SYRUS:
It is this—I think that you are not their son.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Sic est, non esse horum te arbitror.

[¶279] CLITIPHO:
How’s that, Syrus? Are you quite in your senses?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quid istuc, Syre?
Satin sanus es?

[¶280] SYRUS:
I’ll tell you what’s come into my mind; be you the judge. While they had you alone, while they had no other source of joy more nearly to affect them, they indulged you, they lavished upon you. Now a daughter has been found, a pretense has been found in fact on which to turn you adrift.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Ego dicam quod mihi in mentem: tu diiudica.
Dum istis fuisti solus, dum nulla alia delectatio
Quae propior esset, te indulgebant, tibi dabant: nunc filia
Postquam est inventa vera, inventa est causa qua te expellerent.

[¶281] CLITIPHO:
It’s very probable.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Est verisimile.

[¶282] SYRUS:
Do you suppose that he is so angry on account of this fault?

> Latin: SYRUS:
An tu ob peccatum hoc esse illum iratum putas?

[¶283] CLITIPHO:
I do not think so.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Non arbitror.

[¶284] SYRUS:
Now consider another thing. All mothers are wont to be advocates for their sons when in fault, and to aid them against a father’s severity;’tis not so here.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Nunc aliud specta: matres omnes filiis
In peccato adiutrices, auxilio in paterna iniuria
Solent esse: id non fit.

[¶285] CLITIPHO:
You say true; what then shall I now do, Syrus?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Verum dicis: quid nunc faciam, Syre?

[¶286] SYRUS:
Question them on this suspicion; mention the matter without reserve;
either, if it is not true, you’ll soon bring them both to compassion, or else you’ll soon find out whose son you are.

> Latin: SYRUS:
Suspicionem istanc ex illis quaere; rem profer palam:
Si non est verum, ad misericordiam ambos adduces cito, aut
Scibis cuius sis.

[¶287] CLITIPHO:
You give good advice; I’ll do so.
(He goes into the house of CHREMES.)

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Recte suades; faciam.

[¶288] SYRUS: (to himself.)
Most fortunately did this come into my mind. For the less hope the young man entertains, the greater the difficulty with which he’ll bring his father to his own terms. I’m not sure even, that he may not take a wife, and then no thanks for Syrus.
But what is this? The old man’s coming out of doors; I’ll be off. What has so far happened, I am surprised at, that he didn’t order me to becarried off from here: now I’ll away to Menedemus here, I’ll secure him as my intercessor; I can put no trust in our old man.
(Goes into the house of MENEDEMUS.)

> Latin: SYRUS:
Sat recte hoc mihi
In mentem venit: namque adolescens quam minima in spe situs erit
Tam facillime patris pacem in leges conficiet suas.
Etiam haud scio an uxorem ducat; ac Syro nihil gratiae.
Quid hoc autem? senex exit foras: ego fugio: adhuc quod factum est
Miror, continuo non iussisse abripi me. Ad Menedemum hunc pergam:
Eum mihi precatorem paro: seni nostro fidei nihil habeo.

[¶289] (Enter CHREMES and SOSTRATA from the house.)
SOSTRATA:
Really, sir, if you don’t take care, you’ll be causing some mischief to your son; and indeed I do wonder at it,
my husband, how anything so foolish could ever come into your head.

> Latin: (SOSTRATA. CHREMES.)
SOSTRATA:
Profecto nisi caves tu homo, aliquid gnato conficies mali:
Idque adeo miror quomodo
Tam ineptum quicquam tibi in mentem venire, mi vir, potuerit.

[¶290] CHREMES:
Oh, you persist in being the woman? Did I ever wish for any one thing in all my life, Sostrata, but that you were my contradicter on that occasion? And yet if I were now to ask you what it is that I have done amiss, or why you act thus, you would not know in what point you are now so obstinately opposing me in your folly.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Oh, pergin mulier esse? Nullamne ego rem unquam in vita mea
Volui quin tu in ea re mihi fueris adversatrix, Sostrata?
At si rogitem iam, quid est quod peccem, aut quamobrem hoc faciam, nescias:
In qua re nunc tam confidenter restas, stulta.

[¶291] SOSTRATA:
I, not know?

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Ego nescio?

[¶292] CHREMES:
Yes, rather, I should have said you do know; inasmuch as either expression amounts to the same thing.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Immo scis, potius quam quidem redeat ad integrum haec eadem oratio.

[¶293] SOSTRATA:
Alas! you are unreasonable to expect me to be silent in a matter of such importance.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Oh, iniquus es, qui me tacere de re tanta postules.

[¶294] CHREMES:
I don’t expect it; talk on then, I shall still do it not a bit the less.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Non postulo: iam loquere: nihilo minus ego hoc faciam tamen.

[¶295] SOSTRATA:
Will you do it?

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Facies?

[¶296] CHREMES:
Certainly.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Verum.

[¶297] SOSTRATA:
Don’t you see how much evil you will be causing by that course?—He suspects himself to be a foundling.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Non vides quantum mali ex ea re excites?
Subditum se suspicatur.

[¶298] CHREMES:
Do you say so?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Subditum, ain tu?

[¶299] SOSTRATA:
Assuredly it will be so.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Certe sic erit, inquam, mi vir.

[¶300] CHREMES:
Admit it.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Confitere tuum non esse.

[¶301] SOSTRATA:
Hold now—prithee, let that be for our enemies. Am I to admit that he is not my son who really is?

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Au obsecro te, istuc inimicis siet.
Egon confitear meum non esse filium qui sit meus?

[¶302] CHREMES:
What! are you afraid that you can not prove that he is yours, whenever you please?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid? metuis ne non, quum velis, convincas esse illum tuum?

[¶303] SOSTRATA:
Because my daughter has been found?

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Quod filia est inventa?

[¶304] CHREMES:
No; but for a reason why it should be much sooner believed—because he is just like you in disposition,
you will easily prove that he is your child; for he is exactly like you; why, he has not a single vice left him but you have just the same. Then, besides, no woman could have been the mother of such a son but yourself. But he’s coming out of doors, and how demure! When you understand the matter, you may form your own conclusions.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Non; sed, quod magis credendum siet,
Id quod est consimilis moribus,
Convincas facile ex te natum; nam tui similis est probe;
Nam illi nihil viti est relictum, quin sit et idem tibi.
Tum praeterea talem nisi tu nulla pareret filium.
Sed ipse egreditur: quam severus! rem cum videas, censeas.

[¶305] (Enter CLITIPHO from the house of CHREMES.)
CLITIPHO:
If there ever was any time, mother, when I caused you pleasure,
being called your son by your own desire, I beseech: you to remember it, and now to take compassion on me in my distress. A thing I beg and request—do discover to me my parents.

> Latin: (CLITIPHO.
SOSTRATA. CHREMES.)
CLITIPHO:
Si unquam ullum fuit tempus, mater, quum ego voluptati tibi
Fuerim, dictus filius tuus tua voluntate, obsecro,
Eius ut memineris, atque inopis nunc te miserescat mei:
Quod peto, et volo, parentes meos ut commonstres mihi.

[¶306] SOSTRATA:
I conjure you, my son, not to entertain that notion in your mind, that you are another person’s child.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Obsecro, mi gnate, ne istuc in animum inducas tuum,
Alienum esse te.

[¶307] CLITIPHO:
I am.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Sum.

[¶308] SOSTRATA:
Wretch that I am! (Turning to CHREMES.) Was it this that you wanted, pray?
(To CLITIPHO.) So may you be the survivor of me and of him, you are my son and his; and henceforth, if you love me, take care that I never hear that speech from you again.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Miseram me! hocine quaesisti, obsecro?
Ita mihi atque huic sis superstes ut ex me atque ex hoc natus es.
Et cave posthac, si me amas, unquam istuc verbum ex te audiam.

[¶309] CHREMES:
But I say, if you fear me, take care how I find these propensities existing in you.

> Latin: CHREMES:
At ego, si me metuis, mores cave in te esse istos sentiam.

[¶310] CLITIPHO:
What propensities?

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quos?

[¶311] CHREMES:
If you wish to know, I’ll tell you; being a trifler, an idler, a cheat, a glutton, a debauchee, a spendthrift—Believe me, and believe that you are our son.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Si scire vis, ego dicam: gerro, iners, fraus, heluo,
Ganeo, damnosus: crede, et nostrum te esse credito.

[¶312] CLITIPHO:
This is not the language of a parent.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Non sunt haec parentis dicta.

[¶313] CHREMES:
If you had been born from my head, Clitipho, just as they say Minerva was from Jove’s, none the more on that account would I suffer myself to be disgraced by your profligacy.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Non si ex capite sis meo
Natus, item ut aiunt Minervam esse ex Iove, ea causa magis
Patiar, Clitipho, flagitiis tuis me infamem fieri.

[¶314] SOSTRATA:
May the Gods forbid it.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Di istaec prohibeant.

[¶315] CHREMES:
I don’t know as to the Gods; so far as I shall be enabled, I will carefully prevent it. You are seeking that which you possess—parents; that which you are in want of you don’t seek—
in what way to pay obedience to a father, and to preserve what he acquired by his industry. That you by trickery should bring before my eyes—I am ashamed to mention the unseemly word in her presence (pointing to SOSTRATA), but you were not in any degree ashamed to act thus.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Deos nescio: ego quod potero sedulo.
Quaeris id quod habes, parentes: quod abest non quaeris, patri
Quomodo obsequare, et ut serves quod labore invenerit.
Non mihi per fallacias adducere ante oculos—? Pudet
Dicere hac praesente verbum turpe: at te id nullo modo
Puduit facere.

[¶316] CLITIPHO: (aside.)
Alas! how thoroughly displeased I now am with myself! How much ashamed! nor do I know how to make a beginning to pacify him.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Eheu, quam ego nunc totus displiceo mihi,
Quam pudet! neque quod principium inveniam ad placandum scio.

[¶317] (Enter MENEDEMUS from his house.)
MENEDEMUS: (to himself.)
Why really, Chremes is treating his son too harshly and too unkindly. I’m come out, therefore, to make peace between them. Most opportunely I see them both.

> Latin: (MENEDEMUS.
CHREMES.
CLITIPHO. SOSTRATA.)
MENEDEMUS:
Enimvero Chremes nimis graviter cruciat adolescentulum,
Nimisque inhumane. Exeo ergo ut pace conciliem. Optime
Ipsos video.

[¶318] CHREMES:
Well, Menedemus, why don’t you order my daughter to be sent for, and close with the offer of the portion that I mentioned?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ehem, Menedeme, cur non arcessi iubes
Filiam, et quod dotis dixi firmas?

[¶319] SOSTRATA:
My husband, I entreat you not to do it.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Mi vir, te obsecro
Ne facias.

[¶320] CLITIPHO:
Father, I entreat you to forgive me.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Pater, obsecro ut mihi ignoscas.

[¶321] MENEDEMUS:
Forgive him, Chremes;
do let then prevail upon you.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Da veniam, Chreme:
Sine te exoret.

[¶322] CHREMES:
Am I knowingly to make my property a present to Bacchis? I’ll not do it.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Egon mea bona ut dem Bacchidi dono sciens?
Non faciam.

[¶323] MENEDEMUS:
Why, we would not suffer it.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
At id nos non sinemus.

[¶324] CLITIPHO:
If you desire me to live, father, do forgive me.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Si me vivum vis, pater,
Ignosce.

[¶325] SOSTRATA:
Do, my dear Chremes.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Age, Chreme mi.

[¶326] MENEDEMUS:
Come, Chremes, pray, don’t be so obdurate.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Age quaeso ne tam offirma te, Chreme.

[¶327] CHREMES:
What am I to do here? I see I am not allowed to carry this through, as I had intended.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid istic? video non licere ut coeperam hoc pertendere.

[¶328] MENEDEMUS:
You are acting as becomes you.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Facis ut te decet.

[¶329] CHREMES:
On this condition, then, I’ll do it; if he does
that which I think it right he should do.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Ea lege hoc adeo faciam; si facit
Quod ego hunc aequum censeo.

[¶330] CLITIPHO:
Father, I’ll do any thing; command me.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Pater, omnia faciam: impera.

[¶331] CHREMES:
You must take a wife.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Uxorem ut ducas.

[¶332] CLITIPHO:
Father—

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Pater!

[¶333] CHREMES:
I’ll hear nothing.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Nihil audio.

[¶334] MENEDEMUS:
I’ll take it upon myself; he shall do so.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Ad me recipio:
Faciet.

[¶335] CHREMES:
I don’t hear any thing from him as yet.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Nihil etiam audio ipsum.

[¶336] CLITIPHO: (aside.)
I’m undone!

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Perii!

[¶337] SOSTRATA:
Do you hesitate, Clitipho?

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
An dubitas, Clitipho?

[¶338] CHREMES:
Nay, just as he likes.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Immo utrum vult.

[¶339] MENEDEMUS:
He’ll do it all.

> Latin: MENEDEMUS:
Faciet omnia.

[¶340] SOSTRATA:
This course, while you are making a beginning, is disagreeable, and while you are unacquainted with it. When you have become acquainted with it, it will become easy.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Haec dum incipias gravia sunt,
Dumque ignores: ubi cognoris, facilia.

[¶341] CLITIPHO:
I’ll do it, father.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Faciam, pater.

[¶342] SOSTRATA:
My son, upon my honor I’ll give you that charming girl, whom you may soon become attached to, the daughter of our neighbor Phanocrata.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Gnate mi, ego pol tibi dabo illam lepidam quam tu facile ames;
Filiam Phanocratae nostri.

[¶343] CLITIPHO:
What! that red-haired girl, with cat’s eyes, freckled face, and hooked nose? I can not, father.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Rufamne illam virginem,
Caesiam, sparso ore, adunco naso? non possum, pater.

[¶344] CHREMES:
Heyday! how nice he is! You would fancy he had set his mind upon it.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Heia, ut elegans est! credas animum ibi esse.

[¶345] SOSTRATA:
I’ll name another.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Aliam dabo.

[¶346] CLITIPHO:
Why no—since I must marry, I myself have one that I should pretty nearly make choice of.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Quid istic? quandoquidem ducenda est, egomet habeo propemodum
Quam volo.

[¶347] SOSTRATA:
Now, son, I commend you.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Nunc laudo te, gnate.

[¶348] CLITIPHO:
The daughter of Archonides here.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Archonidi huius filiam.

[¶349] SOSTRATA:
I’m quite agreeable.

> Latin: SOSTRATA:
Perplacet.

[¶350] CLITIPHO:
Father, this now remains.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Pater, hoc nunc restat.

[¶351] CHREMES:
What is it?

> Latin: CHREMES:
Quid?

[¶352] CLITIPHO:
I want you to pardon Syrus for what he has done for my sake.

> Latin: CLITIPHO:
Syro ignoscas volo
Quae mea causa fecit.

[¶353] CHREMES:
Be it so.
(To the Audience.) Fare you well, and grant us your applause.

> Latin: CHREMES:
Fiat.
Ω:
Vos valete, et plaudite!