GETA:But he’s not going to marry her.
GETA:Non enim ducet.
ANTIPHO:I know that. But (ironically)when they demand the money back, of course, for our sake, he’ll prefer going to prison.
ANTIPHO:Novi: caeterum,Quum argentum repetent, nostra causa scilicetIn nervum potius ibit.
GETA:There is nothing, Antipho, but what it may be made worse by being badly told: you leave out what is good, and you mention the bad. Now then, hear the other side: if he receives the money,she must be taken as his wife, you say; I grant you; still, some time at least will be allowed for preparing for the nuptials, for inviting, and for sacrificing. In the mean time, Phoedria’s friends will advance what they have promised; out of that he will repay it.
GETA:Nihil est, Antipho,Quin male narrando possit depravarier.Tu id quod boni est excerpis; dicis quod mali est.Audi nunc contra iam: si argentum acceperit,Ducenda est uxor, ut ais: concedo tibi.Spatium quidem tandem apparandis nuptiis,Vocandi, sacrificandi dabitur paululum.Interea amici quod polliciti sunt dabunt:Inde istis reddet.
ANTIPHO:On what grounds? Or what will he say?
ANTIPHO:Quamobrem? aut quid dicet?
GETA:Do you ask the question?“How many circumstances, since then, have befallen me as prodigies? A strange black dog entered the house; a snake came down from the tiles through the sky-light; a hen crowed; the soothsayer forbade it; the diviner warned me not: besides, before winter”“there is no sufficient reason for me to commence upon any new undertaking.” This will be the case.
GETA:Rogas?“Quot res postilla monstra evenerunt mihi!”“Introiit in aedes ater alienus canis;”“Anguis per impluvium decidit de tegulis;”“Gallina cecinit; interdixit hariolus;”“Haruspex vetuit ante brumam aliquid novi”“Negoti incipere; quae causa est iustissima.”Haec fient.
ANTIPHO:I only wish it may be the case.
ANTIPHO:Ut modo fiant.
GETA:It shall be the case; trust me for that. Your father’s coming out; go tell Phaedria that the money is found.
GETA:Fient: me vide.Pater exit: abi, die, esse argentum, Phaedriae.
(Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES, from the house of the latter, the former with a purse of money.)DEMIPHO:Do be quiet, I tell you; I’ll take care he shall not be playing any tricks upon us. I’ll not rashly part with this without having my witnesses;I’ll have it stated to whom I pay it, and for what purpose I pay it.
(DEMIPHO.GETA. CHREMES.)DEMIPHO:Quietus esto, inquam: ego curabo ne quid verborum duit.Hoc temere nunquam amittam ego a me quin mihi testes adhibeam:Cui dem, et quamobrem dem, commemorabo.
GETA: (apart.)How cautious he is, when there’s no need for it!
GETA:Ut cautus est, ubi nihil opus est!
CHREMES:Why yes, you had need do so, and with all haste, while the fit is upon him; for if this other woman shall prove more pressing, perhaps he may throw us over.
CHREMES:Atqui ita opus facto est; at matura, dum libido eadem haec manet;Nam, si altera illaec magis instabit, forsitan nos reiciat.
GETA:You’ve hit upon the very thing.
GETA:Rem ipsam putasti.
DEMIPHO:Lead me to him then.
DEMIPHO:Duc me ad eum ergo.
GETA:I won’t delay.
GETA:Non moror.
CHREMES: (to DEMIPHO.)When you’ve done so, go over to my wife, that she may call upon her before she goes away.She must tell her that we are going to give her in marriage to Phormio, that she may not be angry with us; and that he is a fitter match for her, as knowing more of her; that we have in no way departed from our duty; that as much has been given for a portion as he asked for.
CHREMES:Ubi hoc egeris,Transito ad uxorem meam, ut conveniat hanc prius quam hinc abeat:Dicat nos dare eam Phormioni nuptum, ne succenseat;Et magis esse illum idoneum, qui ipsi sit familiarior;Nos nostro officio nihil digresses esse; quantum is volueritDatum esse dotis.
DEMIPHO:What the plague does that matter to you?
DEMIPHO:Quid tua, malum, id refert?
CHREMES:A great deal, Demipho.It is not enough for you to do your duty, if common report does not approve of it;I wish all this to be done with her own sanction as well, that she mayn’t be saying that she has been turned out of doors.
CHREMES:Magni, Demipho.
DEMIPHO:I can do all that myself.
DEMIPHO:Non satis est tuum te officium facere, si non id fama approbat.
CHREMES:It will come better from one woman to another.
CHREMES:Volo ipsius quoque voluntate hoc fieri, ne se eiectam praedicet.
DEMIPHO:I’ll ask her.(Goes into the house of CHREMES; and exit GETA.)
DEMIPHO:Idem ego istuc facere possum.
CHREMES: (to himself.)I’m thinking where I can find them now.
CHREMES:Mulier mulieri magis congruit.DEMIPHO:Rogabo.CHREMES:Ubi illas ego nunc reperire possim cogito.
(Enter SOPHRONA from the house of DEMIPHO, at a distance.)SOPHRONA: (to herself.)What am I to do? What friend, in my distress, shall I find, to whom to disclose these plans; and where shall I look for relief?For I’m afraid that my mistress, in consequence of my advice, may undeservingly sustain some injury, so extremely ill do I hear that the young man’s father takes what has happened.
(SOPHRONA. CHREMES.)SOPHRONA:Quid agam? quem mihi amicum inveniam misera? aut quo consilia haec referam? autUnde mihi auxilium petam?Nam vereor hera ne ob meum suasum indigne iniuria afficiatur:Ita patrem adolescents facta haec tolerare audio violenter.
CHREMES: (apart, to himself.)But what old woman’s this, that has come out of my brother’s house, half dead with fright?
CHREMES:Nam quae haec anus est exanimata, a fratre quae egressa est meo?
SOPHRONA: (to herself, continuing)It was distress that compelled me to this step, though I knew that the match was not likely to hold good; my object was, that in the mean time life might be supported.
SOPHRONA:Quod ut facerem egestas me impulit; quum scirem infirmas nuptiasHasce esse; ut id consulerem, interea vita ut in tuto foret.
CHREMES: (apart, to himself.)Upon my faith, surely, unless my recollection deceives me, or my sight’s not very good, I espy my daughter’s nurse.
CHREMES:Certe edepol, nisi me animus fallit, aut parum prospiciunt oculi,Meae nutricem gnatae video.
SOPHRONA: (to herself.)And we are not able to find—
SOPHRONA:Neque ille investigatur—
CHREMES: (apart.)What must I do?
CHREMES:Quid ago?
SOPHRONA: (to herself.)Her father.
SOPHRONA:Qui est eius pater.
CHREMES: (to himself, apart.)Shall I accost her, or shall I wait to learn more distinctly what it is she’s saying?
CHREMES:Adeo? an maneo, dum ea quake loquitur magis cognosco?
SOPHRONA: (to herself)If now I could find him, there’s nothing that I should be in fear of.
SOPHRONA:Quod si eum nunc reperire possim, nihil est quod verear.
CHREMES: (apart, to himself, aloud.)’Tis the very woman. I’ll address her.
CHREMES:Ea est ipsa:Colloquar.
SOPHRONA: (turning round.)Who’s that speaking here?
SOPHRONA:Quis hic loquitur?
CHREMES: (coming forward.)Sophrona.
CHREMES:Sophrona.
SOPHRONA:Mentioning my name, too?
SOPHRONA:Et meum nomen nominat?
CHREMES:Look round at me.
CHREMES:Respice ad me.
SOPHRONA: (seeing him.)Ye Gods, I do beseech you, isn’t this Stilpho?
SOPHRONA:Di, obsecro vos, estne hic Stilpho?
SOPHRONA:Do you deny it?
SOPHRONA:Negas?
CHREMES: (in a low voice.)Step a little this way from that door, Sophrona, if you please (pointing). Don’t you, henceforth, be calling me by that name.
CHREMES:Concede hinc a foribus paululum istorsum, sodes, Sophrona.Ne me istoc posthac nomine appellassis.
SOPHRONA:Why? Pray, are you not the person you always used to say you were?
SOPHRONA:Quid? non, obsecro, esQuem semper te esse dictitasti?
CHREMES:Hush! (pointing to his own house.)
CHREMES:St!
SOPHRONA:Why are you afraid about that door?
SOPHRONA:Quid has metuis fores?
CHREMES: (in a low voice.)I have got a shrew of a wife shut up there. For by that name I formerlyfalsely called myself, in order that you might not chance indiscreetly to blab it out of doors, and then my wife, by some means or other, might come to know of it.
CHREMES:Conclusam hic habeo uxorem saevam: verum istoc de nomineEo perperam olim dixi ne vos forte imprudentes forisEffutiretis, atque id porro aliqua uxor mea rescisceret.
SOPHRONA:I’ faith, that’s the very reason why we, wretched creatures, have never been able to find you out here.
SOPHRONA:Istoc pol nos te hic invenire miserae nunquam potuimus.
CHREMES:Well, but tell me, what business have you with that family from whose house you were coming out? Where are the ladies?
CHREMES:Eho, die mihi, quid rei tibi est cum familia hac unde exis?Ubi illae sunt?
SOPHRONA:Ah, wretched me!
SOPHRONA:Miseram me!
CHREMES:Hah! What’s the matter? Are they still alive?
CHREMES:Hem, quid est? vivuntne?
SOPHRONA:Your daughter is alive.Her poor mother died of grief.
SOPHRONA:Vivit gnata:Matrem ipsam ex aegritudine miseram mors consecuta est.
CHREMES:An unfortunate thing!
CHREMES:Male factum.
SOPHRONA:As for me, being a lone old woman, in want, and unknown, I contrived, as well as I could, to get the young woman married to the young man who is master of this house (pointing).
SOPHRONA:Ego autem quae essem anus deserta, egens, ignota,Ut potui nuptum virginem locavi huic adolescentiHarum qui est dominus aedium.
CHREMES:What! to Antipho?
CHREMES:Antiphonine?
SOPHRONA:The very same, I say.
SOPHRONA:Hem! illi ipsi.
CHREMES:What? Has he got two wives?
CHREMES:Quid? duasne is uxores habet?
SOPHRONA:Dear no, prithee, he has only got this one.
SOPHRONA:Au, obsecro: unam ille quidem hanc solam.
CHREMES:What about the other one that’s called his relative?
CHREMES:Quid illam alteram quae dicitur cognata?
SOPHRONA:Why, this is she.
SOPHRONA:Haec ergo est.
CHREMES:What is it you say?
CHREMES:Quid ais?
SOPHRONA:It was done on purpose, in order that her lover might be enabled to marry her without a portion.
SOPHRONA:Composito factum est quomodo hanc amans habere possetSine dote.
CHREMES:Ye Gods, by our trust in you! How often do those things come about through accident, which you couldn’t dare to hope for? On my return, I have found my daughter matched with the very person I wished, and just as I wanted;a thing that we were both using our endeavors, with the greatest earnestness, to bring about. Without any very great management on our part, by her own management, she has by herself brought this about.
CHREMES:Di vestram fidem, quam saepe forte temereEveniunt quae non audeas optare! Offendi adveniensQuicum volebam, atque ut volebam, collocatam filiam.Quod nos ambo opere maximo dabamus operam ut fieret,Sine nostra cura, maxima sua cura, haec sola fecit.
SOPHRONA:Now consider what’s to be done. The young man’s father has returned, and they say that he bears this with feelings highly offended.
SOPHRONA:Nunc quid opus facto sit vide. Pater adolescentis venit;Eumque animo iniquo hoc oppido ferre aiunt.
CHREMES:There’s no danger of that. But, by Gods and men, do take care that no one comes to know that she’s my daughter.
CHREMES:Nihil pericli est.Sed per Deos atque homines, meam esse hanc cave resciscat quisquam.
SOPHRONA:No one shall know it from me.
SOPHRONA:Nemo ex me scibit.
CHREMES:Follow me; in-doors we’ll hear the rest. (He goes into DEMIPHO’S house, followed by SOPHRONA.)
CHREMES:Sequere me: intus caetera audies.
(Enter DEMIPHO and GETA.)DEMIPHO:’Tis caused by our own fault, that it is advantageous to be dishonest; while we wish ourselves to be styled very honest and generous. “So run away as not to run beyond the house,” as the saying is. Was it not enough to receive an injury from him, but money must be voluntarily offered him as well,that he may have something on which to subsist while he plans some other piece of roguery?GETA:Most clearly so.
(DEMIPHO. GETA.)DEMIPHO:Nostrapte culpa facimus ut malis expediat esse,Dum nimium dici nos bonos studemus et benignos.Ita fugias ne praeter casam, quod aiunt. Nonne id sat erat,Accipere ab illo iniuriam? etiam argentum est ultro obiectum,Ut sit qui vivat dum aliud aliquid flagiti conficiat.GETA:Planissime.
DEMIPHO:They now get rewarded for it, who confound right with wrong.
DEMIPHO:His nunc praemium est qui recta prava faciunt.
GETA:Most undoubtedly.
GETA:Verissime.
DEMIPHO:How very foolishly, in fact, we have managed the affair with him!
DEMIPHO:Ut stultissime quidem illi rem gesserimus.
GETA:If by these means we can only manage for him to marry her.
GETA:Modo ut hoc consilio possiet discedi ut istam ducat.
DEMIPHO:Is that, then, a matter of doubt?
DEMIPHO:Etiamne id dubium est?
GETA:I’ faith, judging from what the fellow is, I don’t know whether he mightn’t change his mind.
GETA:Haud scio hercle, ut homo est, an mutet animum.
DEMIPHO:How! change it indeed?
DEMIPHO:Hem, mutet autem?
GETA:I don’t know: but “if perhaps,” I say.
GETA:Nescio: verum “si forte” dico.
DEMIPHO:I’ll do as my brother advised me, bring hither his wife, to talk with her. Do you, Geta, go before; tell her that Nausistrata is about to visit her. (DEMIPHO goes into the house of CHREMES.)
DEMIPHO:Ita faciam, ut frater censuit, ut uxorem huc eius adducam,Cum ista ut loquatur: tu, Geta, abi prae; nuntia hanc venturam.
GETA:The money’s been got for Phaedria; it’s all hushed about the lawsuit; due care has been taken that she’s not to leave for the present. What next, then?What’s to be done? You are still sticking in the mud. You are paying by borrowing; the evil that was at hand, has been put off for a day. The toils are increasing upon you, if you don’t look out. Now I’ll away home, and tell Phanium not to be afraid of Nausistrata, or his talking.(Goes into the house of DEMIPHO.)
GETA:Argentum inventum est Phaedriae: de iurgio siletur.Provisum est ne in praesentia haec hinc abeat: quid nunc porro?Quid fict? in eodem luto haesitas: versura solves,Geta. Praesens quod fuerat malum in diem abiit: plagae crescunt,Nisi prospicis. Nunc hinc domum ibo, ac Phanium edoceboNe quid vereatur Phormionem aut eius orationem.
(Enter DEMIPHO and NAUSISTRATA, from the house of CHREMES.)DEMIPHO:Come now, Nausistrata, after your usual way, manage to keep her in good-humor with us,and make her do of her own accord what must be done.
(DEMIPHO.NAUSISTRATA. CHREMES.)DEMIPHO:Agedum, ut soles, Nausistrata, fac illa ut placetur nobis;Ut sua voluntate id quod est faciendum faciat.
NAUSISTRATA:I will.
NAUSISTRATA:Faciam.
DEMIPHO:You are now seconding me with your endeavors, just as you assisted me with your money before.
DEMIPHO:Pariter nunc opera me adiuvas ac re dudum opitulata es.
NAUSISTRATA:I wish to do so; and yet, i’ faith, through the fault of my husband, I am less able than I ought to be.
NAUSISTRATA:Factum volo; at pol minus queo viri culpa quam me dignum est.
DEMIPHO:Why so?
DEMIPHO:Quid autem?
NAUSISTRATA:Because, i’ faith, he takes such indifferent care of the property that was so industriously acquired by my father; for from those farms he used regularly to receive two talents of silver yearly; there’s an instance, how superior one man is to another.
NAUSISTRATA:Quia pol mei patris bene parta indiligenterTutatur; nam ex his praediis talenta argenti binaStatim capiebat. Vir viro quid praestat!
DEMIPHO:Two talents, pray?
DEMIPHO:Binan quaeso?
NAUSISTRATA:Aye, and when things were much worse, two talents even.
NAUSISTRATA:Ac rebus vilioribus multo, tamen talenta bina.
DEMIPHO:Whew!
DEMIPHO:Hui.
NAUSISTRATA:What! does this seem surprising?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid haec videntur?
DEMIPHO:Of course it does.
DEMIPHO:Scilicet.
NAUSISTRATA:I wish I had been born a man; I’d have shown—
NAUSISTRATA:Virmn me natum vellem:Ego ostenderem—
DEMIPHO:That I’m quite sure of.
DEMIPHO:Certo scio.
NAUSISTRATA:In what way—
NAUSISTRATA:quo pacto—
DEMIPHO:Forbear, pray, that you may be able to do battle with her; lest she, being a young woman, may be more than a match for you.
DEMIPHO:Parce, sodes,Ut possis cum illa; ne te adolescens mulier defatiget.
NAUSISTRATA:I’ll do as you bid me; but I see my husband coming out of your house. (Enter CHREMES, hastily, from DEMIPHO’S house.)
NAUSISTRATA:Faciam ut iubes: sed meum virum abs te exire video.
CHREMES:Ha! Demipho, has the money been paid him yet?
CHREMES:Hem, Demipho,Iam illi datum est argentum?
DEMIPHO:I took care immediately.
DEMIPHO:Curavi ilico.
CHREMES:I wish it hadn’t been paid him. (On seeing NAUSISTRATA, aside.): Halloo, I espy my wife; I had almost said more than I ought.
CHREMES:Nollem datum.Hei, video uxorem, paene plus quam sat erat.
DEMIPHO:Why do you wish I hadn’t, Chremes?
DEMIPHO:Cur nolles, Chreme?
CHREMES:It’s all right.
CHREMES:Iam recte.
DEMIPHO:What say you? Have you been letting her know why we are going to bring her? (pointing to NAUSISTRATA.)
DEMIPHO:Quid tu? ecquid locutus cum ista es quamobrem hanc ducimus?
CHREMES:I’ve arranged it.
CHREMES:Transegi.
DEMIPHO:Pray, what does she say?
DEMIPHO:Quid ait tandem?
CHREMES:She can’t be got to leave.
CHREMES:Abduci non potest.
DEMIPHO:Why can’t she?
DEMIPHO:Qui non potest?
CHREMES:Because they are fond of one another.
CHREMES:Quia uterque utrique est cordi.
DEMIPHO:What’s that to us?
DEMIPHO:Quid istuc nostra?
CHREMES: (apart, to DEMIPHO.)A great deal; besides that, I’ve found out that she is related to us.
CHREMES:Magni: praeter haec,Cognatam comperi esse nobis.
DEMIPHO: (apart.)What! You are mad, surely.
DEMIPHO:Quid? deliras?
CHREMES: (apart.)So you will find; I don’t speak at random; I’ve recovered my recollection.
CHREMES:Sic erit.Non temere dico: redii mecum in memoriam.
DEMIPHO: (apart.)Are you quite in your senses?CHREMES: (apart.)Nay, prithee, do take care not to injure your kinswoman.
DEMIPHO:Satin sanus es?NAUSISTRATA:Au, obsecro, cave ne in cognatam pecces.
DEMIPHO: (apart.)She is not.
DEMIPHO:Non est.
CHREMES: (apart.)Don’t deny it; her father went by another name; that was the cause of your mistake.
CHREMES:Ne nega.Patris nomen aliud dictum est: hoc tu errasti.
DEMIPHO: (apart.)Did she not know who was her father?
DEMIPHO:Non norat patrem?
CHREMES: (apart.)She did.
CHREMES:Norat.
DEMIPHO: (apart.)Why did she call him by another name?
DEMIPHO:Cur aliud dixit?
CHREMES: (apart, frowning.)Will you never yield to me, nor understand what I mean?
CHREMES:Nunquamne hodie concedes mihi,Neque intelliges?
DEMIPHO: (apart.)If you don’t tell me of any thing—
DEMIPHO:Si tu nihil narras—
CHREMES: (impatiently.)Do you persist?
CHREMES:Pergis?
NAUSISTRATA:I wonder what all this can be.
NAUSISTRATA:Miror quid hoc siet.
DEMIPHO:For my part, upon my faith, I don’t know.
DEMIPHO:Equidem hercle nescio.
CHREMES: (whispering to him.)Would you like to know? Then, so may Jupiter preserve me, not a person is there more nearly related to her than are you and I.
CHREMES:Vin scire? At ita me servet IupiterUt propior illi quam ego sum ac tu nemo est.
DEMIPHO: (starting.)Ye Gods, by our trust in you! let’s away to her; I wish for all of us, one way or other, to be sure about this (going).
DEMIPHO:Di vestram fidem!Eamus ad ipsam: una omnes nos aut scire aut nescire hoc volo.
CHREMES: (stopping him.)Ah!
CHREMES:Ah.
DEMIPHO:What’s the matter?
DEMIPHO:Quid est?
CHREMES:That you should put so little confidence in me!
CHREMES:Itan parvam mihi fidem esse apud te?
DEMIPHO:Do you wish me to believe you? Do you wish me to consider this as quite certain? Very well, be it so. Well, what’s to be done with our friend’s daughter?
DEMIPHO:Vin me credere?Vin satis quaesitum mihi istuc esse? Age, fiat: quid? illa filiaAmici nostri quid futurum est?
CHREMES:She’ll do well enough.
CHREMES:Recte.
DEMIPHO:Are we to drop her, then?
DEMIPHO:Hanc igitur mittimus?
CHREMES:Why not?
CHREMES:Quidni?
DEMIPHO:The other one to stop?
DEMIPHO:Illa maneat?
CHREMES:Just so.
CHREMES:Sic.
DEMIPHO:You may go then, Nausistrata.
DEMIPHO:Ire igitur tibi licet, Nausistrata.
NAUSISTRATA:I’ faith, I think it better for all that she should remain here as it is,than as you first intended; for she seemed to me a very genteel person when I saw her.(Goes into her house.)
NAUSISTRATA:Sic pol commodius esse in omnes arbitror quam ut coeperas,Mancre hanc; nam perliberalis visa est quum vidi mihi.
DEMIPHO:What is the meaning of all this?
DEMIPHO:Quid istuc negoti est?
CHREMES: (looking at the door of his house.)Has she shut the door yet?
CHREMES:Iamne operuit ostium?
DEMIPHO:Now she has.
DEMIPHO:Iam.
CHREMES:O Jupiter! the Gods do befriend us; I have found that it is my daughter married to your son.
CHREMES:O Iupiter,Di nos respiciunt: gnatam inveni nuptam cum tuo tilio.
DEMIPHO:Ha! How can that possibly be?
DEMIPHO:Hem,Quo pacto id potuit?
CHREMES:This spot is not exactly suited for me to tell it you.
CHREMES:Non satis tutus est ad narrandum hic locus.
DEMIPHO:Well then, step in-doors.
DEMIPHO:At tu abi intro.
CHREMES:Hark, you, I don’t wish our sons even to come to know of this.(They go into DEMIPHO’S house.)
CHREMES:Heus, ne filii quidem nostri hoc resciscant volo.
(Enter ANTIPHO.)ANTIPHO:I’m glad that, however my own affairs go, my brother has succeeded in his wishes. How wise it is to cherish desires of that nature in the mind, that when things run counter, you may easily find a cure for them! He has both got the money, and released himself from care; I, by no method, can extricate myself from these troubles;on the contrary, if the matter is concealed, I am in dread—but if disclosed, in disgrace. Neither should I now go home, were not a hope still presented me of retaining her. But where, I wonder, can I find Geta, that I may ask him what opportunity he would recommend me to take for meeting my father?
(ANTIPHO.)ANTIPHO:Laetus sum, ut meae res sese habent, fratri obtigisse quod vult.Quam scitum est eiusmodi parare in animo cupiditatesQuas, quum res adversae sient, paulo mederi possis!Hic simul argentum repperit cura sese expedivit.Ego nullo possum remedio me evolvere ex his turbisQuin, si hoc celetur, in metu, sin patefit, ill probro sim.Neque me domum nunc reciperem, ni mihi esset spes ostentaHuiusce habendae. Sed ubinam Getam invenire possum,Ut rogem quod tempus conveniendi patris me capere iubeat?
(Enter PHORMIO, at a distance.)PHORMIO: (to himself)I received the money; handed it over to the Procurer; brought away the woman,that Phaedria might have her as his own—for she has now become free. Now there is one thing still remaining for me to manage,—to get a respite from the old gentlemen for carousing; for I’ll enjoy myself the next few days.
(PHORMIO. ANTIPHO.)PHORMIO:Argentum accepi; tradidi lenoni; abduxi mulierem;Curavi propria ea Phaedria ut poteretur; nam emissa est manu.Nunc una mihi res etiam restat quae est conficienda, otiumAb senibus ad potandum ut habeam; nam aliquot hos sumam dies.
ANTIPHO:But here’s Phormio. (Going up to him.) What have you to say?
ANTIPHO:Sed Phormio est. Quid ais?
PHORMIO:About what?
PHORMIO:Quid?
ANTIPHO:Why—what’s Phaedria going to do now? In what way does he say that he intends to take his fill of love?
ANTIPHO:Quidnam nunc facturus Phaedria?Quo pacto satietatem amoris ait se velle sumere?
PHORMIO:In his turn, he’s going to act your part.
PHORMIO:Vicissim partes tuas acturus est.
ANTIPHO:What part?
ANTIPHO:Quas?
PHORMIO:To run away from his father; he begs that you in your return will act on his behalf—to plead his cause for him. For he’s going to carouse at my house. I shall tell the old man that I’m going to Sunium, to the fair, to purchase the female servant that Geta mentioned a while since, so that, when they don’t see me here, they mayn’t suppose that I’m squandering their money.But there is a noise at the door of your house.
PHORMIO:Ut fugitet patrem.Te suam rogavit rursum ut ageres, causam ut pro se diceres;Nam potaturus est apud me. Ego me ire senibus SuniumDicam ad mercatum, ancillulam emtum quam dudum dixit Geta;Ne quum hic non videant me conficere credant argentum suum.Sed ostium concrepuit abs te.
ANTIPHO:See who’s coming out.
ANTIPHO:Vide quis egrediatur.
PHORMIO:It’s Geta.
PHORMIO:Geta est.
(Enter GETA, at a distance, hastily, from the house of DEMIPHO.)GETA: (to himself.)O fortune! O good luck! with blessings how great, how suddenly hast thou loaded this day with thy favors to my master Antipho!—
(GETA.ANTIPHO. PHORMIO.)GETA:O Fortuna, O Fors fortuna, quantis commoditatibusQuam subito hero meo Antiphoni ope vestra hunc onerastis diem;
ANTIPHO: (apart to PHORMIO.)I wonder what it is he means.
ANTIPHO:Quidnam hic sibi vult?
GETA: (continuing.)And relieved us, his friends, from alarm; but I’m now delaying, in not throwing my cloak over my shoulder (throws it over his shoulder),and making haste to find him, that he may know what has happened.
GETA:nosque amicos eius exonerastis metu!Sed ego nunc mihi cesso qui non humerum hunc onero pallio,Atque hominem propero invenire, ut haec quae contigerint sciat.
ANTIPHO: (apart to PHORMIO.)Do you understand what he’s talking about?
ANTIPHO:Num tu intelligis hic quid narret?
PHORMIO: (apart to ANTIPHO.)Do you?
PHORMIO:Num tu?
ANTIPHO: (apart to PHORMIO.)Not at all.
ANTIPHO:Nihil.
PHORMIO: (apart to ANTIPHO.)And I just as much.
PHORMIO:Tantundem ego.
GETA: (to himself.)I’ll be off hence to the Procurer’s; they are there just now. (Runs along.)
GETA:Ad lenonem hinc ire pergam: ibi nunc sunt.
ANTIPHO: (calling out.)Halloo! Geta!
ANTIPHO:Heus Geta.
GETA: (still running.)There’s for you. Is it any thing new or wonderful to be called back, directly you’ve started?
GETA:Hem tibi.Num mirum aut novum est revocari, cursum quum institueris?
ANTIPHO:Geta!
ANTIPHO:Geta.
GETA:Do you persist? Troth, you shall not on this occasion get the better of me by your annoyance.
GETA:Pergit hercle. Nunquam tu odio tuo me vines.
ANTIPHO: (running after him.)Won’t you stop?
ANTIPHO:Non manes?
GETA:You’ll be getting a beating.
GETA:Vapula.
ANTIPHO:Assuredly that will befall yourself just now unless you stop, you whip-knave.
ANTIPHO:Id quidem tibi iam fiet, nisi resistis, verbero.
GETA:This must be some one pretty familiar, threatening me with a beating. (Turns round.) But is it the person I’m in search of or not?’Tis the very man! Up to him at once.
GETA:Familiariorem oportet esse hunc: minitatur malum.Sed isne es quem quaero an non? ipsus est.PHORMIO:Congredere actutum.
ANTIPHO:What’s the matter?
ANTIPHO:Quid est?
GETA:O being most blessed of all men living! For without question, Antipho, you are the only favorite of the Gods.
GETA:O omnium quantum est qui vivunt hominum homo ornatissime!Nam sine controversia ab Dis solus diligere, Antipho.
ANTIPHO:So I could wish; but I should like to be told why I’m to believe it is so.
ANTIPHO:Ita velim: sed qui istuc credam ita esse mihi diei velim.
GETA:Is it enough if I plunge you into a sea of joy?
GETA:Satin est si te delibutum gaudio reddo?
ANTIPHO:You are worrying me to death.
ANTIPHO:Enicas.
PHORMIO:Nay but do have done with your promises, and tell us what you bring.
PHORMIO:Quin tu hinc pollicitationes aufer, et quod fers cedo.
GETA: (looking round.)Oh, are you here too, Phormio?
GETA:Oh,Tu quoque hic aderas, Phormio?
PHORMIO:I am: but why do you delay?
PHORMIO:Aderam: sed cessas?
GETA:Listen, then. When we just now paid you the money at the Forum, we went straightto Chremes; in the mean time, my master sent me to your wife.
GETA:Accipe, hem,Ut modo argentum tibi dedimus apud forum, recta domumSumus profecti: interea mittit herus me ad uxorem tuam.
ANTIPHO:What for?
ANTIPHO:Quamobrem?
GETA:I’ll omit telling you that, as it is nothing to the present purpose, Antipho. Just as I was going to the woman’s apartments, the boy Mida came running up to me, and caught me behind by my cloak, and pulled me back; I turned about, and inquired for what reason he stopped me; he said that it was forbidden for any one to go in to his mistress.“Sophrona has just now,” said he, “introduced here Chremes, the old gentleman’s brother,” and he said that he was then in the room with them: when I heard this, on tip-toe I stole softly along; I came there, stood, held my breath, I applied my ear, and so began to listen, catching the conversation every word in this fashion (shows them).
GETA:Omitto proloqui; nam nihil ad hanc rem est, Antipho.Ubi in gynaeceum ire occipio, puer ad me adcurrit Mida;Pone apprehendit pallio; resupinat: respicio; rogoQuamobrem retineat me: ait esse vetitum intro ad heram accedere.Sophrona modo fratrem huc, inquit, senis introduxit Chremem,Eumque nunc esse intus cum illis. Hoc ubi ego audivi, ad foresSuspenso gradu placide ire perrexi; accessi; adstiti;Animam compressi; aurem admovi: ita animum coepi attendere,Hoc modo sermonem captans.
ANTIPHO:Well done, Geta.
ANTIPHO:Eu Geta.
GETA:Here I overheard a very pretty piece of business; so much so that I had nearly cried out for joy.
GETA:Hic pulcherrimumFacinus audivi: itaque paene hercle exclamavi gaudio.
ANTIPHO:What was it?
ANTIPHO:Quod?
GETA: (laughing.)What do you think?
GETA:Quodnam arbitrare?
ANTIPHO:I don’t know.
ANTIPHO:Nescio.
GETA:Why, something most marvelous. Your uncle has been discovered to be the father of your wife, Phanium.
GETA:Atqui mirificissimum:Patruus tuus pater est inventus Phanio uxori tuae.
ANTIPHO: (starting.)Ha! what’s that you say
ANTIPHO:Hem.Quid ais?
GETA:He formerly cohabited secretly with her mother at Lemnos.
GETA:Cum eius consuevit olim matre in Lemno clanculum.
PHORMIO:A dream: how could she be ignorant about her own father?
PHORMIO:Somnium. Utine haec ignoraret suum patrem?
GETA:Be sure,Phormio, that there is some reason: but do you suppose that, outside of the door, I was able to understand every thing that passed between them within?
GETA:Aliquid credito,Phormio, esse causae: sed me censen potuisse omniaIntelligere extra ostium intus quae inter sese ipsi egerint?
ANTIPHO:On my faith, I too have heard the same story.
ANTIPHO:Atque hercle ego quoque illam audivi fabulam.
GETA:Aye, and I’ll give you still further reason for believing it: your uncle in the mean time came out from there; not long after he returned again, with your father;each said that he gave you permission to retain her; in fine, I’ve been sent to find you, and bring you to them.
GETA:Immo etiam daboQuo magis credas. Patruus interea inde huc egreditur foras:Haud multo post cum patre idem recipit se intro denuo:Ait uterque tibi potestatem eius habendae se dare.Denique ego missus sum te ut requirerem atque adducerem.
ANTIPHO:Why then carry me off at once;—why do you delay?
ANTIPHO:Quin ergo rape me: quid cessas?
GETA:I’ll do so.
GETA:Fecero.
ANTIPHO:O my dear Phormio, farewell!
ANTIPHO:O mi Phormio,Vale.
PHORMIO:Farewell, Antipho. (ANTIPHO and GETA go into DEMIPHO’S house.) So may the Gods bless me, this has turned out luckily. I’m glad of it, that such good fortune has thus suddenly befallen them.I have now an excellent opportunity for diddling the old men, and ridding Phaedria of all anxiety about the money, so that he mayn’t be under the necessity of applying to any of his companions. For this same money, as it has been given him, shall be given for good, whether they like it or not: how to force them to this, I’ve found out the very way.I must now assume a new air and countenance. But I’ll betake myself off to this next alley; from that spot I’ll present myself to them, when they come out of doors. I sha’n’t go to the fair, where I pretended I was going.(He retires into the alley.)
PHORMIO:Vale, Antipho: bene, ita me Di ament, factum: gaudeoTantam fortunam de improviso esse his datam.Summa eludendi occasio est mihi nunc senes,Et Phaedriae curam adimere argentariam,Ne cuiquam suorum aequalium supplex siet:Nam idem hoc argentum, ita ut datum est, ingratiisEi datum erit: hoc qui cogam re ipsa repperi.Nunc gestus mihi vultusque est capiendus novus.Sed hince concedam in angiportum hoc proximum:Inde hisce ostendam me, ubi erunt egressi foras.Quo me assimularam ire ad mercatum non eo.
(Enter DEMIPHO and CHREMES, from DEMIPHO’S house.)DEMIPHO:I do give and return hearty thanks to the Gods,and with reason, brother, inasmuch as these matters have turned out for us so fortunately. We must now meet with Phormio as soon as possible, before he squanders our thirty minae, so that we may get them from him. (Enter PHORMIO, coming forward, and speaking aloud, as though not seeing them.)
(DEMIPHO.PHORMIO. CHREMES.)DEMIPHO:Dis magnas merito gratias habeo atque ago,Quando evenere haec nobis, frater, prospere.Quantum potest nunc conveniendus Phormio est,Priusquam dilapidet nostras triginta minasUt auferamus.PHORMIO:Demiphonem, si domi est,Visam: ut, quod—DEMIPHO:At nos ad te ibamus, Phormio.
PHORMIO:I’ll go see if Demipho’s at home; that as to what —
PHORMIO:De eadem hac fortasse causa.
DEMIPHO: (accosting him.)Why, Phormio, we were coming to you.
DEMIPHO:Ita hercle.
PHORMIO:Perhaps about the very same affair. (DEMIPHO nods assent.)I’ faith,I thought so.What were you coming to my house for? Ridiculous; are you afraid that I sha’n’t do what I have once undertaken? Hark you, whatever is my poverty, still, of this one thing I have taken due care, not to forfeit my word.
PHORMIO:Credidi.Quid ad me ibatis? Ridiculum. VerebaminiNe non id facerem quod recepissem semel?Heus, quanta quanta haec mea paupertas est, tamenAdhuc curavi unum hoc quidem, ut mihi esset fides.
CHREMES: (to DEMIPHO.)Is she not genteel-looking, just as I told you?
CHREMES:Estne ea, ita ut dixi, liberalis?
DEMIPHO:Very much so.
DEMIPHO:Oppido.
PHORMIO:And this is what I’m come to tell you, Demipho, that I’m quite ready; whenever you please, give me my wife. For I postponed all my other business, as was fit I should, when I understood that you were so very desirous to have it so.
PHORMIO:Itaque ad vos venio nuntiatum, Demipho,Paratum me esse: ubi vultis, uxorem date;Nam omnes posthabui mihi res, ita uti par fuit,Postquam tantopere id vos velle animadverteram.
DEMIPHO: (pointing to CHREMES.)But he has dissuaded me from giving her to you. “For what,” says he, “will be the talk among people if you do this? Formerly, when she might have been handsomely disposed of, then she wasn’t given; now it’s a disgrace for her to be turned out of doors, a repudiated woman;” pretty nearly, in fact, all the reasons which you yourself, some little time since, were urging to me.
DEMIPHO:At hic dehortatus est me ne illam tibi darem;“Nam qui erit rumor populi,” inquit, “si id feceris?”“Olim quum honeste potuit tum non est data:”“Nunc viduam extrudi turpe est:” ferme eadem omniaQuae tute dudum coram me incusaveras.
PHORMIO:Upon my faith, you are treating me in a very insulting manner.
PHORMIO:Satis superbe illuditis me.
DEMIPHO:How so?
DEMIPHO:Qui?
PHORMIO:Do you ask me? Because I shall not be able to marry the other person I mentioned; for with what face shall I return to her whom I’ve slighted?
PHORMIO:Rogas?Quia ne alteram quidem illam potero ducere:Nam quo redibo ore ad eam quam contemserim?
CHREMES:Then besides, I see that Antipho is unwilling to part with her. (Aside, prompting DEMIPHO.) Say so.
CHREMES:Tum autem Antiphonem video ab sese amittereInvitum eam; inque.
DEMIPHO:Then besides, I see that my sonis very unwilling to part with the damsel. But have the goodness to step over to the Forum, and order this money to be transferred to my account, Phormio.
DEMIPHO:Tum autem video filiumInvitum sane mulierem ab se amittere.Sed transi sodes ad forum, atque illud mihiArgentum rursum iube rescribi, Phormio.
PHORMIO:What, when I’ve paid it over to the persons to whom I was indebted?
PHORMIO:Quodne ego discripsi porro illis quibus debui
DEMIPHO:What’s to be done, then?
DEMIPHO:Quid igitur fiet?
PHORMIO:If you will let me have her for a wife,as you promised, I’ll take her; but if you prefer that she should stay with you, the portion must stay with me, Demipho. For it isn’t fair that I should be misled for you, as it was for your own sakes that I broke off with the other woman, who was to have brought me a portion just as large.
PHORMIO:Si vis mihi uxorem dare,Quam despondisti, ducam: sin est ut velisMancre illam apud te, dos hic maneat, Demipho.Nam non est aequum me propter vos decipi,Quum ego vestri honoris causa repudium alteraeRemiserim quae dotis tantundem dabat.
DEMIPHO:Away with you to utter perdition, with this swaggering, you vagabond. What, then, do you fancy we don’t know you, or your doings?
DEMIPHO:I hinc in malam rein cum istac magnificentia,Fugitive: etiam nunc credis te ignorarier,Aut tua facta adeo?
PHORMIO:You are provoking me.
PHORMIO:Irritor.
DEMIPHO:Would you have married her, if she had been given to you?
DEMIPHO:Tune hanc duceres,Si tibi data esset?
PHORMIO:Try the experiment.
PHORMIO:Fac periclum.
DEMIPHO:That my son might cohabit with her at your house, that was your design.
DEMIPHO:Ut filiusCum illa habitet apud te; hoc vestrum consilium fuit.
PHORMIO:Pray, what is that you say?
PHORMIO:Quaeso, quid narras?
DEMIPHO:Then do you give me my money?
DEMIPHO:Quin tu mihi argentum cedo.
PHORMIO:Nay, but do you give me my wife?
PHORMIO:Immo vero uxorem tu cedo.
DEMIPHO:Come before a magistrate. (Going to seize hold of him.)
DEMIPHO:In ius ambula.
PHORMIO:Why, really, if you persist in being troublesome—
PHORMIO:In ius? enimvero si porro esse odiosi pergitis—
DEMIPHO:What will you do?
DEMIPHO:Quid facies?
PHORMIO:What, I? You fancy, perhaps, just now, that I am the protector of the portionless; for the well portioned,I’m in the habit of being so as well.
PHORMIO:Egone? Vos me indotatis modoPatrocinari fortasse arbitramini:Etiam dotatis soleo.
CHREMES:What’s that to us?
CHREMES:Quid id nostra?
PHORMIO: (with a careless air.)Nothing at all. I know a certain lady here (pointing at CHREMES’S house) whose husband had—
PHORMIO:Nihil.Hic quandam noram cuius vir uxorem —
CHREMES: (starting.)Ha!
CHREMES:Hem.
DEMIPHO:What’s the matter?
DEMIPHO:Quid est?
PHORMIO:Another wife at Lemnos—
PHORMIO:Lemni habuit aliam:—
CHREMES: (aside.)I’m ruined!
CHREMES:Nullus sum.
PHORMIO:By whom he had a daughter; and her he is secretly bringing up.
PHORMIO:ex qua filiamSuscepit; et eam clam educat.
CHREMES: (aside.)I’m dead and buried!
CHREMES:Sepultus sum.
PHORMIO:This I shall assuredly now inform her of.(Walks toward the house.)
PHORMIO:Haec adeo ego illi iam denarrabo.
CHREMES: (running and catching hold of him.)I beg of you,don’t do so.
CHREMES:Obsecro,Ne facias.
PHORMIO: (with a careless air.)Oh, were you the person?DEMIPHO:What a jest he’s making of us.
PHORMIO:Oh, tune is eras? Ut ludos facit.
CHREMES: (to PHORMIO.)We’ll let you off.
CHREMES:Missum te facimus.
PHORMIO:Nonsense.
PHORMIO:Fabulae.
CHREMES:What would you have? We’ll forgive you the money you’ve got,
CHREMES:Quid vis tibi?Argentum quod habes condonamus te.
PHORMIO:I hear you. Why the plague, then, do you two trifle with me in this way, you silly men, with your childish speeches—“I won’t, and I will; I will, and I won’t,” over again: “keep it, give it me back; what has been said, is unsaid; what had been just a bargain, is now no bargain.”
PHORMIO:Audio.Quid vos, malum, ergo me sic ludificamini,Inepti, vestra puerili sententia?“Nolo, volo: volo, nolo rursum: cedo, cape.”“Quod dictum, indictum est: quod modo erat ratum, irritum est.”
CHREMES: (aside, to DEMIPHO.)In what manner, or from whom has he come to know of this?
CHREMES:Quo pacto aut unde haec hic rescivit?
DEMIPHO: (aside.)I don’t, know; but that I’ve told it to no one, I know for certain.
DEMIPHO:Nescio;Nisi me dixisse nemini id certo scio.
CHREMES: (aside.)So may the Gods bless me,’tis as good as a miracle.
CHREMES:Monstri, ita me Di ament, simile.
PHORMIO: (aside, to himself.)I’ve graveled them.
PHORMIO:Inieci scrupulum.
DEMIPHO: (apart, to CHREMES.)Well now,is he to be carrying off from us such a sum of money as this, and so palpably to impose upon us? By heavens, I’d sooner die. Manage to show yourself of resolute and ready wit. You see that this slip of yours has got abroad, and that you can not now possibly conceal it from your wife;it is then more conducive to our quiet, Chremes, ourselves to disclose what she will be hearing from others; and then, in our own fashion, we shall be able to take vengeance upon this dirty fellow.
DEMIPHO:Hem.Hicine ut a nobis hoc tantum argenti auferat,Tam aperte irridens? Emori hercle satius est.Animo virili praesentique ut sis para:Vides tuum peccatum esse clatum foras;Neque iam id celare posse te uxorem tuam.Nunc quod ipsa ex aliis auditura sit, Chreme,Id nosmet ipsos indicare placabilius est.Tum hunc impuratum poterimus nostro modoUlcisci.
PHORMIO: (aside, to himself.)Good lack-a-day, now’s the sticking-point, if I don’t look out for myself. They are making toward me with a gladiatorial air.
PHORMIO:Atat, nisi inihi prospicio, haereo.Hi gladiatorio animo ad me affectant viam.
CHREMES: (apart, to DEMIPHO.)But I doubt whether it’s possible for her to be appeased.
CHREMES:At vereor ut placari possit.
DEMIPHO: (apart, to CHREMES.)Be of good courage; I’ll effect a reconciliation between you; remembering this, Chremes, that she is dead and gone by whom you had this girl.
DEMIPHO:Bono animo es.Ego redigam vos in gratiam, hoc fretus, Chreme,Quum e medio excessit unde haec suscepta est tibi.
PHORMIO: (in a loud voice.)Is this the way you are going to deal with me? Very cleverly done. Come on with you. By heavens, Demipho, you have provoked me, not to his advantage (pointing at CHREMES).How say you? (addressing CHREMES). When you’ve been doing abroad just as you pleased, and have had no regard for this excellent lady here, but on the contrary, have been injuring her in an unheard-of manner, would you be coming to me with prayers to wash away your offenses? On telling her of this, I’ll make her so incensed with you,that you sha’n’t quench her, though you should melt away into tears.
PHORMIO:Itane agitis mecum? Satis astute aggredimini.Non hercle ex re istius me instigasti, Demipho.Ain tu? Ubi quae libitum fuerit peregre feceris,Neque huius sis veritus feminae primariae,Quin novo modo ei faceres contumeliam,Venias mihi precibus lautum peccatum tuum?Hisce ego illlam dictis ita tibi incensam daboUt ne restinguas lacrimis si exstillaveris.
DEMIPHO: (aside.)A plague may all the Gods and Goddesses send upon him. That any fellow should be possessed of so much impudence! Does not this villain deserve to be transported hence to some desolate land at the public charge?
DEMIPHO:Malum quod isti Di Deaeque omnes duiut.Tantane affectum quenquam esse hominem audacia?Non hoc publicitus scelus hinc deportarierIn solas terras?
CHREMES: (aside.)I am brought to such a pass,that I really don’t know what to do in it.
CHREMES:In id redactus sum lociUt quid agam cum illo nesciam prorsum.
DEMIPHO:I know; let’s go into court.
DEMIPHO:Ego scio:In ius eamus.
PHORMIO:Into court? Here in preference (pointing to CHREMES’S house), if it suits you in any way.(Moves toward the house.)
PHORMIO:In ius? huc, si quid libet.
DEMIPHO: (to CHREMES.)Follow him, and hold him back, till I call out the servants.
DEMIPHO:Assequere ac retine, dum ego huc servos evoco.
CHREMES: (trying to seize PHORMIO.)But I can’t by myself; run and help me.
CHREMES:Enim solus nequeo: accurre huc.
PHORMIO: (to DEMIPHO, who seizes hold of him.)There’s one action of damages against you.
PHORMIO:Una iniuria estTecum.
CHREMES:Sue him at law, then.
CHREMES:Lege agito ergo.
PHORMIO:And another with you, Chremes.
PHORMIO:Altera est tecum, Chreme.
DEMIPHO:Lay hold of him. (They both drag him.)
DEMIPHO:Rape hunc.
PHORMIO:Is it thus you do? Why then I must exert my voice: Nausistrata, come out (calling aloud).
PHORMIO:Itane agitis? enimvero voce est opus.Nausistrata, exi.
CHREMES: (to DEMIPHO.)Stop his mouth.
CHREMES:Os opprime.
DEMIPHO:See how strong the rascal is.
DEMIPHO:Impurum vide,Quantum valet.
PHORMIO: (calling aloud.)Nausistrata, I say.
PHORMIO:Nausistrata, inquam.
CHREMES:Will you not hold your tongue?
CHREMES:Non taces?
PHORMIO:Hold my tongue?
PHORMIO:Taceam?
DEMIPHO: (to CHREMES, as they drag him along.)If he won’t follow, plant your fists in his stomach.
DEMIPHO:Nisi sequitur, pugnos in ventrem ingere.
PHORMIO:Or e’en gouge out an eye. The time’s coming when I shall have a full revenge on you.
PHORMIO:Vel oculum exclude: est ubi vos ulciscar probe.
(Enter NAUSISTRATA, in haste, from the house.)NAUSISTRATA:Who calls my name?
(NAUSISTRATA.CHREMES.PHORMIO. DEMIPHO.)NAUSISTRATA:Quis nominat me?
CHREMES: (in alarm.)Ha!
CHREMES:Hem.
NAUSISTRATA:My husband, pray what means this disturbance?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid istuc turbae est, obsecro,Mi vir?
PHORMIO: (to CHREMES.)Oh, oh, why are you mute now?
PHORMIO:Ehem, quid nunc obstipuisti?
NAUSISTRATA:Who is this man? Won’t you answer me?
NAUSISTRATA:Quis hic homo est?Non mihi respondes?
PHORMIO:What, he to answer you? who, upon my faith, doesn’t know where he is.
PHORMIO:Hicine ut tibi respondeat,Qui hercle ubi sit nescit?
CHREMES: (to NAUSISTRATA.)Take care how you believe that fellow in any thing.
CHREMES:Cave isti quicquam creduas.
PHORMIO: (to NAUSISTRATA.)Go, touch him; if he isn’t in a cold sweat all over, why then kill me.CHREMES:’Tis nothing at all.
PHORMIO:Abi, tange: si non totus friget, me enica.CHREMES:Nihil est.
NAUSISTRATA:What is it, then, that this person is talking about?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid ergo est? quid istic narrat?
PHORMIO:You shall know directly; listen now.
PHORMIO:Iam scies:Ausculta.
CHREMES:Are you resolved to believe him?
CHREMES:Pergin credere?
NAUSISTRATA:Pray, how can I believe him, when he has told me nothing?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid ego, obsecro,Huic credam qui nihil dixit?
PHORMIO:The poor creature is distracted from fright.
PHORMIO:Delirat miserTimore.
NAUSISTRATA:It isn’t for nothing, i’ faith, that you are in such a fright.
NAUSISTRATA:Non pol temere est quod tu tam times.
CHREMES:What, I in a fright?
CHREMES:Ego timeo?
PHORMIO: (to CHREMES.)All right, of course: since you are not in a fright at all,and this is nothing at all that I’m going to tell, do you relate it.
PHORMIO:Recte sane: quando nihil times,Et hoc nihil est quod ego dico, tu narra.
DEMIPHO:Villain, is he to relate it at your request?
DEMIPHO:Scelus!Tibi narret?
PHORMIO: (to DEMIPHO.)Come now, you’ve managed nicely for your brother.
PHORMIO:Eho tu, factum est abs te seduloPro fratre.
NAUSISTRATA:My husband, will you not tell me?
NAUSISTRATA:Mi vir, non mihi narras?
NAUSISTRATA:But what?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid, “at?”
CHREMES:There’s no need to tell you.
CHREMES:Non opus est dicto.
PHORMIO:Not for you, indeed; but there’s need for her to know it. At Lemnos—
PHORMIO:Tibi quidem: at scito huic opus est.In Lemno—
CHREMES: (starting.)Ha! what are you doing?
CHREMES:Hem, quid ais?
DEMIPHO: (to PHORMIO.)Won’t you hold your tongue?
DEMIPHO:Non taces?
PHORMIO: (to NAUSISTRATA.)Unknown to you—
PHORMIO:clam te—
CHREMES:Ah me!
CHREMES:Hei mihi.
PHORMIO:He married another—
PHORMIO:Uxorem duxit.
NAUSISTRATA:My dear sir, may the Gods forbid it!
NAUSISTRATA:Mi homo, Di melius duint.
PHORMIO:Such is the fact.
PHORMIO:Sic factum est.
NAUSISTRATA:Wretch that I am, I’m undone!
NAUSISTRATA:Perii misera.
PHORMIO:And had a daughter by her, too, while you never dreamed of it.
PHORMIO:Et inde filiamSuscepit iam unam, dum tu dormis.
CHREMES:What are we to do?
CHREMES:Quid agimus?
NAUSISTRATA:O immortal Gods!—a disgraceful and a wicked misdeed!DEMIPHO: (aside, to CHREMES.)It’s all up with you.
NAUSISTRATA:Pro Di immortales, facinus indignum, et malum.
PHORMIO:Was ever any thing now more ungenerously done?Your men, who, when they come to their wives, then become incapacitated from old age.
PHORMIO:Hoc actum est.
NAUSISTRATA:Demipho, I appeal to you; for with that man it is irksome for me to speak. Were these those frequent journeys and long visits at Lemnos? Was this the lowness of prices that reduced our rents?
NAUSISTRATA:An quicquam hodie est factum indignius?Qui mihi ubi ad uxores ventum est tum fiunt senes.Demipho, te appello; nam me cum hoc ipso distaedet loqui.Haecine erant itiones crebrae, et mansiones diutinaeLemni? haecine erat ea quae nostros fructus minuebat vilitas?
DEMIPHO:Nausistrata, I don’t deny that in this matter he has been deserving of censure;but still, it may be pardoned.
DEMIPHO:Ego, Nausistrata, esse in hac re culpam meritam non nego;Sed ea quin sit ignoscenda.
PHORMIO: (apart.)He is talking to the dead.
PHORMIO:Verba fiunt mortuo.
DEMIPHO:For he did this neither through neglect or aversion to yourself. About fifteen years since, in a drunken fit, he had an intrigue with this poor woman, of whom this girl was born, nor did he ever touch her afterward. She is dead and gone: the only difficulty that remained in this matter.Wherefore, I do beg of you, that, as in other things, you’ll bear this with patience.
DEMIPHO:Nam neque negligentia tua, neque odio id fecit tuo.Vinolentus fere abhinc annos quindecim mulierculamEam compressit, unde haec nata est: neque postilla unquam attigit.Ea mortem obiit, e medio abiit, qui fuit in re hac serupulus.Quamobrem te oro, ut alia facta tua sunt, aequo animo hoc feras.
NAUSISTRATA:Why should I with patience? I could wish, afflicted as I am, that there were an end now of this matter. But how can I hope? Am I to suppose that, at his age, he will not offend in future? Was he not an old man then, if old age makes people behave themselves decently? Are my looks and my age more attractive now, Demipho?What do you advance to me, to make me expect or hope that this will not happen any more?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid ego aequo animo? Cupio misera in hac re iam defungier.Sed quid sperem? aetate porro minus peccaturum putem?Iam tum erat senex, senectus si verecundos facit.An mea forma atque aetas nunc magis expetenda est, Demipho?Quid mihi nunc affers quamobrem exspectem aut sperem porro non fore?
PHORMIO: (in a loud voice.)Those who have a mind to come to the funeral of Chremes, why now’s their time.’Tis thus I retaliate: come now, let him challenge Phormio who pleases: I’ll have him victimized with just a like mischance. Why then, let him return again into her good graces. I have now had revenge enough.She has got something for her as long as she lives, to be forever ringing into his ears.
PHORMIO:Exsequias Chremeti quibus est commodum ire hem tempus est.Sic dabo: age nunc, age, Phormionem qui volet lacessito.Faxo tali eum mactatum atque hic est infortunio.Redeat sane in gratiam: iam supplici satis est mihi:Habet haec ei quod dum vivat usque ad aurem ogganniat.
NAUSISTRATA:But it was because I deserved this, I suppose; why should I now, Demipho, make mention of each particular, how I have conducted myself toward him?
NAUSISTRATA:At meo merito, credo: quid ego nunc commemorem, Demipho,Singulatim qualis ego in hunc fuerim?
DEMIPHO:I know it all, as well as yourself.
DEMIPHO:Novi aeque omniaTecum.
NAUSISTRATA:Does it appear, then, that I deserved this treatment?
NAUSISTRATA:Meritone hoc meo videtur factum?
DEMIPHO:Far from it: but since, by reproaching, it can not now be undone,forgive him: he entreats you—he begs your pardon—owns his fault—makes an apology. What would you have more?
DEMIPHO:Minime gentium;Verum, quando iam accusando fieri infectum non potest,Ignosce: orat; confitetur; purgat: quid vis amplius?
PHORMIO: (aside.)But really, before she grants pardon to him, I must take care of myself and Phaedria. (To NAUSISTRATA.) Hark you, Nausistrata, before you answer him without thinking, listen to me.
PHORMIO:Enimvero prius quam haec dat veniam, mihi prospiciam et Phaedriae.Heus, Nausistrata, prius quam huic respondes temere, audi.
NAUSISTRATA:What’s the matter?
NAUSISTRATA:Quid est?
PHORMIO:I got out of him thirty minae by a stratagem. I give them to your son; he paid them to a Procurer for his mistress.
PHORMIO:Ego minas triginta per fallaciam ab illo abstuli;Eas dedi tuo gnato; is pro sua amica lenoni dedit.
CHREMES:Ha! what is it you say?PHORMIO: (sneeringly.)Does it seem to you so very improper for your son, a young man, to keep one mistress, while you have two wives? Are you ashamed of nothing? With what face will you censure him? Answer me that.
CHREMES:Hem, quid ais?NAUSISTRATA:Adeone hoc indignum tibi videtur, filiusHomo adolescens si habet unam amicam, tu uxores duas?Nihil pudere! Quo ore illum obiurgabis? responde mihi.
DEMIPHO:He shall do as you wish.
DEMIPHO:Faciet ut voles.
NAUSISTRATA:Nay, that you may now know my determination, I neither forgive nor promise any thing, nor give any answer,before I see my son: to his decision I leave every thing. What he bids me, I shall do.DEMIPHO:You are a wise woman, Nausistrata.
NAUSISTRATA:Immo, ut meam iam scias sententiam,Neque ego ignosco neque promitto quicquam; neque respondeo,Prius quam gnatum video: eius iudicio permitto omnia;Quod is iubebit, faciam.PHORMIO:Mulier sapiens es, Nausistrata.
NAUSISTRATA:Does that satisfy you, Chremes?
NAUSISTRATA:Satin tibi est [Chreme]?
CHREMES:Yes, indeed, I come off well, and fully to my satisfaction; indeed, beyond my expectation.
CHREMES:Immo vero pulchre discedo et probe,Et praeter spem.
NAUSISTRATA: (to PHORMIO.)Do you tell me, what is your name?
NAUSISTRATA:Tu tuum nomen die quod est.
PHORMIO:What, mine? Phormio; a well-wisher to your family, upon my honor, and to your son Phaedria in particular.
PHORMIO:Mihin? Phormio:Vestrae familiae hercle amicus, et tuo summus Phaedriae.
NAUSISTRATA:Then, Phormio, on my word, henceforward I’ll both do and say for you all I can, and whatever you may desire.
NAUSISTRATA:Phormio, at ego ecastor posthac tibi quod potero et quae volesFaciamque et dicam.
PHORMIO:You speak obligingly.
PHORMIO:Benigne dicis.
NAUSISTRATA:I’ faith, it is as you deserve.
NAUSISTRATA:Pol meritum est tuum.
PHORMIO:First, then, will you do this, Nausistrata, at once, to please me, and to make your husband’s eyes ache with vexation?
PHORMIO:Vin primum hodie facere quod ego gaudeam, Nausistrata,Et quod tuo viro oculi doleant?
NAUSISTRATA:With all my heart.
NAUSISTRATA:Cupio.
PHORMIO:Invite me to dinner.
PHORMIO:Me ad coenam voca.
NAUSISTRATA:Assuredly indeed, I do invite you.
NAUSISTRATA:Pol vero voco.
DEMIPHO:Let us now away in-doors.
DEMIPHO:Eamus intro hinc.
CHREMES:By all means; but where is Phaedria,our arbitrator?
CHREMES:Fiat: sed ubi est Phaedria,Iudex noster?
PHORMIO:I’ll have him here just now.(To the AUDIENCE.) Fare you well, and grant us your applause.(Enter PHAEDRIA and PHORMIO, from opposite sides of the stage. )PHAEDRIA:Assuredly there is a God, who both hears and sees what we do. And I do not consider that to be true which is commonly said: “Fortune frames and fashions the affairs of mankind, just as she pleases.”PHORMIO: (aside.)Heyday! what means this? I’ve met with Socrates, not Phaedria, so far as I see. Why hesitate to go up and address him? (Accosting him.) How now, Phaedria, whence have you acquired this new wisdom, and derived such great delight, as you show by your countenance?PHAEDRIA:O welcome, my friend; O most delightful Phormio, welcome! There’s not a person in all the world I could more wish just now to meet than yourself.PHORMIO:Pray, tell me what is the matter.PHAEDRIA:Aye, faith, I have to beg of you, that you will listen to it. My Pamphila is a citizen of Attica, and of noble birth, and rich.PHORMIO:What is it you tell me? Are you dreaming, pray?PHAEDRIA:Upon my faith, I’m saying what’s true.PHORMIO:Yes, and this, too, is a true saying: “You’ll have no great difficulty in believing that to be true, which you greatly wish to be so.”PHAEDRIA:Nay, but do listen, I beg of you, to all the wonderful things I have to tell you of. It was while thinking of this to myself, that I just now burst forth into those expressions which you heard—that we, and what relates to us, are ruled by the sanction of the Gods, and not by blind chance.PHORMIO:I’ve been for some time in a state of suspense.PHAEDRIA:Do you know Phanocrates?PHORMIO:As well as I do yourself.PHAEDRIA:The rich man?PHORMIO:I understand.PHAEDRIA:He is the father of Pamphila. Not to detain you, these were the circumstances: Calchas was his servant, a worthless, wicked fellow. Intending to run away from the house, he carried off this girl, whom her father was bringing up in the country, then five years old, and, secretly taking her with him to Eubaea, sold her to Lycus, a merchant. This person, a long time after, sold her, when now grown up, to Dorio. She, however, knew that she was the daughter of parents of rank, inasmuch as she recollected herself being attended and trained up by female servants: the name of her parents she didn’t recollect.PHORMIO:How, then, were they discovered?PHAEDRIA:Stay; I was coming to that. This runaway was caught yesterday, and sent back to Phanocrates: he related the wonderful circumstances I have mentioned about the girl, and how she was sold to Lycus, and afterward to Dorio. Phanocrates sent immediately, and claimed his daughter; but when he learned that she had been sold, he came running to me.PHORMIO:O, how extremely fortunate!PHAEDRIA:Phanocrates has no objection to my marrying her; nor has my father, I imagine.PHORMIO:Trust me for that; I’ll have all this matter managed for you; Phormio has so arranged it, that you shall not be a suppliant to your father, but his judge.PHAEDRIA:You are joking.PHORMIO:So it is, I tell you. Do you only give me the thirty minae which Dorio—PHAEDRIA:You put me well in mind; I understand you; you may have them; for he must give them back, as the law forbids a free woman to be sold; and, on my faith, I do rejoice that an opportunity is afforded me of rewarding you, and taking a hearty vengeance upon him; a monster of a fellow he has feelings more hardened than iron.PHORMIO:Now, Phaedria, I return you thanks; I’ll make you a return upon occasion, if ever I have the opportunity. You impose a heavy task upon me, to be contending with you in good offices, as I can not in wealth; and in affection and zeal, I must repay you what I owe. To be surpassed in deserving well, is a disgrace to a man of principle.PHAEDRIA:Services badly bestowed, I take to be disservices. But I do not know any person more grateful and more mindful of a service than yourself. What is it you were just now mentioning about my father?PHORMIO:There are many particulars, which at present I have not the opportunity to relate. Let’s go in-doors, for Nausistrata has invited me to dinner, and I’m afraid we may keep them waiting.PHAEDRIA:Very well; follow me. (To the AUDIENCE.) Fare you well, and grant us your applause.
PHORMIO:Iam hic faxo aderit.Ω:Vos valete et plaudite.