10. There he laded me well, and garnished my body for the way like an ass of arms. For on the one side I bare a helmet that shined exceedingly; on the other side a target that glittered more a thousandfold; and on the top of my burden he had put a long spear. Now these things he placed thus gallantly, not because such was the rule of arms, but to the end he might make fear those which passed by, when they saw such a similitude of war piled upon the heap of baggage. When we had gone a good part of our journey, over the plain and easy fields, we fortuned to come to a little town, where we lodged, not at an inn, but at a certain corporal's house. And there the soldier took me to one of the servants, while he himself went carefully towards his captain, who had the charge of a thousand men. When we had remained there a few days, I understood of a wicked and mischievous deed committed there, which I have put in writing, to the end you may know the same. The master of the house had a young son instructed in good literature, and therefore endowed with virtuous manners, but especially with shamefastness, such a one as you would desire to have the like.
10. DIE sequenti meus quidem dominus hortulanus quid egerit nescio, me tamen miles ille, qui propter eximiam impotentiam pulcherrime vapularat, ab illo praesepio nullo equidem contradicente deductum abducit atque a suo contubernio (hoc enim mihi videbatur) sarcinis propriis onustum et prorsum exornatum armatumque militariter producit ad viam. Nam et galeam gerebam nitore praemicantem et scutum longius relucens sed etiam lanceam longissimo hastili conspicuam, quae scilicet non disciplinae tunc quidem causa sed propter terrendos miseros viatores in summo atque edito sarcinarum cumulo ad instar exercitus sedulo composuerat. Confecta campestri nec adeo difficili via ad quandam civitatulam pervenimus, nec in stabulo sed in domo cuiusdam decurionis devertimus, statimque me commendato cuidam servulo ipse ad praepositum suum, qui mille armatorum ducatum sustinebat, sollicite proficiscitur.
Now his mother died a long time before, and then his father married a new wife, and had another child, that was now of the full age of twelve years. This stepdame was more excellent in beauty than honesty in her husband's house; for she loved this young man her son-in-law, either because she was unchaste by nature, or because she was enforced by fate to commit so great a mischief. Gentle reader, thou shalt not read of a fable, but rather a tragedy, and must here change from sock to buskin.1 This woman, when little Cupid first began to do his work.in her heart, could easily resist his weak strength, and pressed down in silence her desire and inordinate appetite, by reason of shame and fear; but after that Love compassed and burned with his mad fire every part of her breast, she was compelled to yield unto this raging Cupid, and under colour of disease and infirmity of her body to conceal the wound of her restless mind. Every man knoweth well the signs and tokens of love, and how that sickness is convenient to the same, working upon health and countenance; her countenance was pale, her eyes sorrowful, her knees weak, her rest disturbed, and she would sigh deeply by reason of her slow torment; there was no comfort in her, but continual weeping and sobbing, in so much you would have thought that she had some spice of an ague, saving that she wept unreasonably. The physicians knew not her disease 2 when they felt the beating of her veins, the intemperance of her heat, the sobbing sighs, and her often tossing on every side; no, no, the cunning physicians knew it not, but a scholar of Venus' court might easily conject the whole, seeing one burning Without any bodily fire. So after that she had been long time tormented in her overmastering affection, and was no more able to keep silence, she caused her son to be called for (which word " son " she would fain put away, that she might not be rebuked of shame). Then he, nothing disobedient to the commandment of his ailing mother, with a sad and modest countenance, wrinkled like some old grand-sire, came with due obedience into the chamber of his stepdame, the mother of his brother; but she, feeing utterly wearied with the silence that she had kept so long to her torment, was in great doubt what she might do;
Post dies plusculos ibidem dissignatum scelestum ac nefarium facinus memini, sed ut vos etiam legatis, ad librum profero. Dominus aedium habebat iuvenem filium probe litteratum atque ob id consequenter pietate, modestia praecipuum, quem tibi quoque provenisse cuperes vel talem. Huius matre multo ante defuncta, rursum matrimonium sibi reparat verat, ductaque alia filium procreaverat alium, qui adaequeiam duodecimum annum aetatis super cesserat. Sed noverca forma magis quam moribus in domo mariti praepollens, seu naturaliter impudica seu fato ad exi tremum impulsa flagitium, oculos ad privignum adiecit: iam ergo, lector optime, scito te tragoediam, non fabulam legere, et a socco ad cothurnum ascendere Sed mulier illa quamdiu primis elementis Cupido parvulus nutriebatur, imbecillis adhuc eius viribus facile ruborem tenuem deprimens silentio resistebat: at ubi, completis igne vesano totis praecordiis, immodice bacchatus Amor exaestuabat, saevienti deo iam succubuit, et languore simulato vulnus animi mentitur in corporis valetudine. Iam cetera salutis vultusque detrimenta et aegris ei amantibus examussim convenire nemo qui nesciat: pallor deformis, marcentes oculi, lassa genua, quies turbida et suspiritus cruciatus tarditate vehementior: crederes et illam fluctuare tantum vaporibus febrium, nisi quod et flebat. Heu medicorum ignarae mentes! Quid venae pulsus, quid caloris intemperantia, quia fatigatus anhelitus et utrimquesecus iactatae crebriter laterum mutuae vicissitudines? Dii boni! Quam facilis licet non artifici medico, cuivis tamen doctu Veneriae cupidinis comprehensio, cum videas aliquem sine corporis calore flagrantem.
for she rejected within herself every word which she had before thought most apt for this meeting, and could not tell what to say first, by reason of her shame which still trembled before its fall. This young man even then suspecting no ill, with humble courtesy and downcast countenance demanded the cause of her present disease. Then she, having found the occasion to utter her wicked intent, put on boldness, and with weeping eyes and covered face began with trembling voice to speak unto him in this manner: “Thou, thou art the original cause of my present dolour; but thou too art my medicine and only health, for those thy comely eyes have so pierced through these eyes of mine and are so fastened within my breast, that they have kindled therein a raging and a roaring fire. Have pity therefore upon me that die by thy fault, neither let thy conscience reclaim to offend thy father, when as thou mayest save his wife for him from death. Moreover, since as thou dost resemble thy father's shape in every point, I do justly fancy thee, seeing his image in thy face. Now is ministered unto thee time and place; now hast thou occasion to work thy will, seeing that we are alone. And it is a common saying: ' Never known, never done.'” This young man, troubled in his mind at so sudden an ill, although he abhorred to commit so great a crime, yet he would not be rashly stern to undo her yet more with a present denial, but warily pacified her mind with delay of promise. Wherefore with long speech he promised her to do all according to her desire: and in the mean season, he willed his mother to be of good cheer, and comfort herself and look to her health, till as he might find some convenient time to come unto her, when his father was ridden forth: wherewithal he got him away from the pestilent sight of his stepdame.
Ergo igitur impatientia furoris altius agitata diutinum rupit silentium et ad se vocari praecipit filium: quod nomen in eo, si posset, ne ruboris admoneretur, libente eraderet. Nec adulescens aegrae parentis moratus imperium, senili tristitie striatam gerens frontem cubiculum petit, uxori patris matrique fratris utcumque debitum sistens obsequium. Sed illa cruciabili silentio diutissime fatigata, et ut in quodam vado dubitationis haerens, omne verbum quod praesenti sermoni putabat aptissimum rursum improbans mi tante etiam nunc pudore, unde potissimum caperet exordium decunctatur. At iuvenis nihil etiam tunc sequius suspicatus, summisso vultu rogat ultro praesentes causas aegritudinis. Tunc illa nancta solii tudinis damnosam occasionem, prorumpit in audaciam, et ubertim allacrimans laciniaque contegens faciem voce trepida sic eum breviter affatur: “Causa omnis et origo praesentis doloris et etiam medela ipsa et salus unica mihi tute ipse es: isti enim tui oculi per meos oculos ad intima delapsi praecordia meis medullis acerrimum commovent incendium. Ergo miserere tua causa pereuntis nec te religio patris omnino deterreat, cui morituram prorsus servabis uxorem: illius enim recognoscens imaginem in tua; facie merito te diligo. Habes solitudinis plenam fiduciam, habes capax necessarii facinoris otium: nam quod nemo novit, paene non fit.”
And knowing that this matter touching the ruin of all the whole house needed the counsel, of wise and grave persons, he went incontinently to a sage old man, a tutor, and declared the whole circumstance. The old man, after long deliberation, thought there was no better mean to avoid the storm of cruel fortune to come than to run away. In the mean season this wicked woman, impatient of any delay how little soever, egged her husband to ride abroad to visit some far lands that he had: then she, maddened by the hope that had now (as she thought) grown rife, asked the young man the accomplishment of his promise; but he, to avoid the sight of her whom he hated, would find always excuses from appearing before her, till in the end she understood by the various colour of the messages which he sent her that he nothing regarded her. Then she, in her fickle mood, by how much she wickedly loved him before, by so much and more she hated him now. And by and by she called one of her servants who had come with her among her dowry, the worst of all and ready to all mischiefs, to whom she declared all her treacherous secrets. And there it was concluded between them two, that the surest way was to kill the young man: whereupon this varlet went incontinently to buy poison, which he mingled with wine, to the intent he would give it the innocent young man to drink, and thereby presently to kill him. But while the guilty ones were in deliberation how they might offer it unto him, behold, here happened a strange adventure. For the young son of that evil woman that came from school at noon (being very thirsty after his dinner) took the pot wherein the poison was mingled, and ignorant of the hidden venom drank a good draught thereof, which was prepared to kill his brother: whereby he presently fell down to the ground dead. His schoolmaster,1 annoyed by this sudden chance, called his mother and all the servants of the house with a loud voice.
Repentino malo perturbatus adulescens quamquam tale facinus protinus exhorruisset, non tamen negationis intempestiva severitate putavit exasperandum, sed cautae promissionis dilatione leniendum. Ergo prolixe pollicetur, et bonum caperet animum refectionique se ac saluti redderet impendio suadet, donec patris aliqua profectione liberum voluptati concederetur spatium, statimque se refert a noxio conspectu novercae, et tam magnam domus cladem ratus indigere consilio pleniore ad quendam compertae gravitatis educatorem senem protinus refert: nec quicquam diutina deliberatione tam salubre visum quam fuga celeri procellam fortunae saevientis evadere. Sed impatiens vel exiguae dilationis mulier ficta qualibet causa confestim marito miris persuadet artibus ad longissime dissitas festinare villulas. Quo facto maturatae spei vesania praeceps promissae libidinis flagitat vadimonium: sed iuvenis modo istud modo aliud causae faciens execrabilem frustratur eius conspectum, quoad illa nuntiorum varietate pollicitationem sibi denegatam manifesto perspiciens, mobilitate lubrica nefarium amorem ad longe deterius transtulisset odium, et assumpto statim nequissimo et ad omne facinus emancipato quodam dotali servulo perfidiae suae consilia communicat: nec quicquam melius videtur quam vita miserum privare iuvenem. Ergo missus continuo furcifer venenum praesentarium comparat, idque vino diligenter dilutum insontis privigni praeparat exitio.
Incontinently when the poisoned cup was known every man declared his opinion touching the death of the child; but the cruel woman, the signal example of stepmother's malice; was nothing moved by the bitter death of her son, or by her own conscience of parricide, or by the misfortune of her house, or by the dolour of her husband, or by the affliction of this death, but rather devised the destruction of all her family to fulfil her desire to be avenged. For by and by she sent a messenger after her husband to tell him the great misfortune which happened after his departure. And when he came home the wicked woman, putting on a bold face beyond all reason, declared that her son had been taken off with his brother's poison. And so far she spoke no lie, inasmuch as the boy had forestalled the death that was prepared for the young man; but she feigned that he had been for this reason murdered by his brother's crime, because she would not consent to his evil will which he had had towards her, and told him divers other leasings, adding in the end that he threatened with his sword to kill her likewise, because she discovered the fact. Then the unhappy father was stricken with a double storm of dolour at the death of his two children, for on the one side he saw his younger slain before his eyes, on the other side he seemed to see the elder condemned to die for his offences both of incest and of parricide, and where he beheld his dear wife lament in such sort, it gave him further occasion to hate his son more deadly. But the funerals of his younger son were scarce finished, when the old man the father, even at the return from the grave, with weeping eyes and his white hair befouled with ashes went apace to the justice and worked with all his might for the destruction of his remaining son, accusing him of the incest that he had attempted, of the slaughter of his brother, and how he threatened to slay his wife; knowing naught of that wicked woman's wiles, he besought the magistrates with tears and prayers, yea, even embracing their knees, for this son's death. Hereby with weeping and lamentation he inflamed all the elders and the people as well to pity and indignation, in so much that without any delay of trial or further inquisition or the careful pleading of defenders they cried all that he should be stoned to death, to the end that this public crime might be publicly revenged;
Ac dum de oblationis opportunitate secum noxii deliberant homines, forte fortuna puer ille iunior, proprius pessimae feminae filius, post matutinum laborem studiorum domum se recipiens, prandio iam capto sitiens repertum vini poculum, in quo venenum latebat inclusum, nescius fraudis occultae continua perduxit haustu, atque, ubi fratri suo paratam mortem ebibit, exanimis terrae procumbit. Illicoque repentina pueri pernicie paedagogus commotus ululabili clamore matrem totamque ciet familiam, iamque cognito casu noxiae potionis varie quisque praesentium auctores insimulabant extremi facinoris. Sed dira illa femina et malitiae novercalis exemplar unicum, non acerba filii morte, non parricidii conscientia, non infortunio domus, non luctu mariti vel aerumna funeris commota cladem familiae in vindictae compendium traxit, missoque protinus cursore, qui vianti marita domus expugnationem nuntiaret, ac mox eodem ocius ab itinere regresso, personata nimia temeritate insimulat privigni veneno filium suum interceptum. Et hoc quidem non adeo mentiebatur, quod iam destinatam iuveni mortem praevenisset puer; sedi fratrem iuniorem Angebat ideo privigni scelere peremptum, quod eius probrosae libidini, qua se comprimere temptaverat, noluisset succumbere. Neci tam immanibus contenta mendaciis addebat sibi quoque ob detectum flagitium eundem illum gladium comminari. Tunc infelix duplici filiorum morte percussus magnis aerumnarum procellis aestuat: nam et iuniorem incoram sui funerari videbat, et alterum ob incestum parricidiumque capitis scilicet damnatum iri certo sciebat. Ad hoc uxoris dilectae nimium mentitis lamentationibus ad extremum subolis impellebatur odium.
but the justices, fearing lest a farther inconvenience might arise to themselves by a particular vengeance, and to the end there might fortune from a little beginning no sedition amongst the people with public riot, prayed the decurions and the people of the city to proceed by examination of witnesses on both sides, like good citizens, and with order of justice according to the ancient custom; for the giving of any hasty sentence or judgement without hearing of the contrary part, such as the barbarous and cruel tyrants accustom to use, would give an ill example in time of peace to their successors. This safe opinion pleased every man; wherefore the senators and counsellors were called by an herald, who, being placed in order according to their dignity, caused first the accuser and then only the defender (again by the voice of the herald) to be brought forth, and by the example of the Athenian law, and judgement of Mars' hill, their advocates were commanded to plead their causes briefly, without preambles or motions of the people to pity. (And if you demand how I understand all this matter, you shall understand that I heard many declare the same in talking among themselves, but to recite what words the accuser used in his invective, what answer and excuses the defender made, in fine the orations and pleadings of each party, verily this I am not able to do, for I was fast bound at the manger; but as I learned and knew by others, I will, God willing, declare unto you.)
Vixdum pompae funebres et sepultura filii fuerat explicata, et statim ab ipso eius rogo senex infelix, ora sua recentibus adhuc rigans lacrimis trahensque cinere sordentem canitiem, foro se festinus immittit atque ibi, tum fletu, tum precibus, genua etiam decurionum contingens, nescius fraudium pessimae, mulieris, in exitium reliqui filii plenis operabatur affectibus: illum incestum paterno thalamo, illum parricidam fraterno exitio et in comminata novercae caede sicarium. Tanta denique miseratione tantaque indignatione curiam sed et plebem maerens inflammaverat, ut remoto iudicandi taedio et accusationis manifestis probationibus et responsionis meditatis ambagibus cuncti conclamarint lapidibus obrutum publicum malum publice vindicari. Magistratus interim metu periculi proprii, ne de parvis indignationis elementis ad exitium disciplinae civitatisque seditio procederet, partim decuriones deprecari, partim populares compescere, ut rite et more maiorum iudicio reddito et utrimquesecus allegationibus examinatis, civiliter sententia promeretur, nec ad instar barbaricae feritatis vel tyrannicae impotentiae damnaretur aliquis inauditus, et in pace placida tam dirum saeculo proderetur exemplum.
So it was ordered that after the pleadings of both sides was ended, they thought best to try and bolt out the verity of the charges by witnesses, all presumptions and likelihoods set apart in so great a case, and to call in chiefly the servant, who only was reported to know all the matter. By and by this rope-ripe slave came in, who, nothing abashed at the fear of so great a judgement, or at the presence of the judges in conclave, or at his own guilty conscience, began to tell and to swear as true all those lies which he so finely feigned. With a bold countenance he presented himself before the justices, and confirmed the accusation against the young man, saying: “O ye judges, on a day when this young man loathed and hated his stepmother he called me, desiring me to poison his brother, whereby he might revenge himself, and if I would do it, and keep the matter secret, he promised to give me a good reward for my pains; but when the young man perceived that I would not accord to his will, he threatened to slay me: whereupon he went himself and bought poison, and after tempered it with wine, and then gave it me to give to the child; but when he thought that I did it not, but kept it to be a witness of his crime, he offered it to his brother with his own hands.” When the varlet with a feigned and trembling countenance had ended these words, which seemed a likelihood of truth, the judgement was ended: neither was there found any judge or counsellor so merciful to the young man accused as would not judge him culpable, but rather gave sentence that he should be put and sewn in the leather sack for parricides.1 Wherefore, since the sentences of all were alike, and all did agree to the same verdict, there wanted nothing but (as the ancient custom was) to put the sentences into a brazen pot, and when once they were east thither, the decision of fate being finally taken, it should remain a thing irrevocable, but he would be delivered to the hands of the executioner. Then there arose a sage ancient of the court, a physician of good conscience and credit throughout all the city, that stopped the mouth of the pot that none might rashly cast his stone therein, saying thus before the assembly: “I am right glad, ye reverend judges, that I am a man of name and estimation amongst you all the days of my life, whereby I am accounted such a one as will not suffer any person to be put to death by false and untrue accusations, neither you (being sworn to judge uprightly) to be misinformed and abused by invented lies and tales of a slave. For I cannot but declare and open my conscience, lest I should be found to bear small honour and faith to the gods: wherefore I pray you give ear, and I will shew you the whole truth of the matter.
Placuit salubre consilium et illico iussus praeco pronuntiat patres in curiam convenirent. Quibus protenus dignitatis iure consueta loca residentibus rursum praeconis vocatu primus accusator incedit. Tunc demum clamatus inducitur etiam reus et exemplo legis Atticae Martiique iudicii causae patronis denuntiat praeco neque principia dicere neque miserationem commovere. Haec ad istum modum gesta compluribus mutuo sermocinantibus cognovi: quibus autem verbis accusator urserit, quibus rebus diluerit reus, ac prorsus orationes altercationesque neque ipse absens apud praesepium scire neque ad vos quae ignoravi possum enuntiare, sed quae plane comperi ad istas litteras proferam. Simul enim finita est dicentium contentio, veritatem criminum fidemque probationibus certis instrui nec suspicionibus tantam coniecturam permitti placuit, atque illum potissimum servum, qui solus haec ita gesta esse scire diceretur, sisti modis omnibus oportere. Nec tantillum cruciarius ille vel fortuna tam magni iudicii vel confertae conspectu curiae vel certe noxia conscientia sua deterritus, quae ipse finxerat quasi vera asseverare atque asserere incipit: quod se vocasset indignatus fastidio novercae iuvenis, quod ulciscens iniuriam filii eius mandaverit necem, quod promisisset grande silentii praemium, quod recusanti mortem sit comminatus, quod venenum sua manu temperatum dandum fratri reddiderit, quod ad criminis probationem reservatum poculum neglexisse suspicatus sua postremum manu porrexerit puero. Haec eximie mentita commutavi licebat, sed mancipabatur potestas capitis in manum carnificis, unus e curia senior, prae ceteris compertae fidei atque auctoritatis praecipuae medicus, orificium urnae manu contegens ne quis mitteret calculum temere, haec ad ordinem pertulit: “Quod aetatis sum, vobis approbatum me vixisse gaudeo, nec patiar falsis criminibus petito reo manifestum homicidium perpetrari, nec vos, qui iureiurando astricti iudicatis, inductos servuli mendacio peierare. Ipse non possum calcata numinum religione conscientiam meam fallens perperam pronuntiare: ergo ut res est, de me cognoscite.”
You shall understand that this servant, which hath merited to be hanged, came one of these days to speak with me, promising to give me a hundred crowns if I would give him a present poison, which would cause a man to die suddenly, saying that he would have it for one that was sick of an incurable disease, to the end he might be delivered from all his torment. But I, perceiving that the varlet was talking foolishness and telling a clumsy tale, and fearing lest he would work some mischief withal, gave him a potion, yea, I gave it; but to the intent I might clear myself from all danger that might happen, I would not presently take the money which he offered: but lest any one of the crowns should lack weight or be found counterfeit, I willed him to seal the purse wherein they were put with his manual ring, whereby the next day we might go together to the goldsmith to try them. This he did, and sealed up the money; wherefore understanding that he was brought present before you this day, I hastily commanded one of my servants to fetch the purse from my house, and here I bring it unto you to see whether he shall deny his own sign or no: and you may easily conject that his words are untrue, which he alleged against the young man touching the buying of the poison, considering he bought the poison himself.”
“Furcifer iste, venenum praesentarium comparare sollicitus centumque aureos solidos offerens pretium, me non olim convenerat, quod aegroto cuidam dicebat necessarium, qui morbi inextricabilis veterno vehementer implicatus vitae se cruciatui subtrahere gestiret. At ego perspiciens malum istum verberonem blaterantem atque inconcinne causificantem, certusque aliquod moliri flagitium, dedi quidem potionem, dedi; sed futurae quaestioni praecavens non statim pretium quod offerebatur accepi, sed ‘Ne forte aliquis’ inquam ‘Istorum quos offers aureorum nequam vel adulter repperiatur, in hoc ipso sacculo conditos eos annulo tuo praenota, donec altera die nummulario praesente comprobentur.’ Sic inductus signavit pecuniam, quam exinde ut iste repraesentatus est iudicio, iussi de meis aliquem curriculo taberna promptam afferre, et en ecce perlatam coram exhibeo. Videat et suum sigillum recognoscat: nam quemadmodum eius veneni frater insimulari potest quod iste comparaverit?”
When the physician had spoken these words, you might perceive how the traitorous knave changed his colour, becoming deathly pale from the natural complexion of a man, how he sweated cold for fear, how he trembled in every part of his body, how he set one leg uncertainly before another, scratching now this, now that part of his head, and began to stammer forth some foolish trifles, his lips but half open, whereby there was ho person but would judge him culpable. In the end when he was somewhat returned to his former subtilty, he began to deny all that was said, and stoutly affirmed that the physician did lie. But the physician, besides the oath which he had sworn to give true judgement, perceiving that he was railed at and his words denied, did never cease to confirm his sayings and to disprove the varlet, till such time as the officers, by the Commandment of the judges, seized his hands and took the ring wherewith he had sealed the purse, and laid it by the seal thereon: and this augmented the suspicion which was conceived of him first. Howbeit neither the wheel nor the rack nor any other torment (according to the use of the Grecians) which were done unto him nor stripes, no nor yet the fire, could enforce him to confess the matter, so obstinate and grounded was he in his mischievous mind.
Ingens exinde verberonem corripit trepidatio et in vicem humani coloris succedit pallor infernus, perque universa membra frigidus sudor emanabat: tunc pedes incertis alternationibus commovere, modo hanc modo illam capitis partem scalpere, et ore semiclauso balbutiens nescioquas afannas effutire, ut eum nemo prorsus a culpa vacuum merito crederet. Sed revalescente rursus astutia constantissime negare et accersere mendacii non desinit medicum. Qui praeter iudicii religionem cum fidem suam coram lacerari videret, multiplicate studio verberonem illum contendit redarguere, donec iussu magistratuum ministeria publica contrectatis nequissimi servi manibus annulum ferreum deprehensum cum signo saeculi conferunt, quae comparatio praecedentem roboravit suspicionem. Nec rota vel equuleus more Graecorum tormentis eius apparata iam deerant, sed offirmatus mira praesumptione nullis verberibus ac ne ipso quidem succumbit igni.
But the physician, perceiving that those torments did nothing prevail, began to say: “I cannot suffer or abide that this young man who is innocent should against all law and conscience be punished and condemned to die, and the other which is culpable should escape so easily, and after mock and flout at your judgement: for I will give you an evident proof and argument of this present crime. You shall understand that when this caitiff demanded of me a present and strong poison, I considered that it was not the part of my calling to give occasion of any other's death, but rather to cure and save sick persons by mean of medicines.1 And on the other side I feared lest if I should deny his request I might by my untimely refusing minister a further cause of his mischief by some other way, either that he would buy poison of some other, or else return and work his wicked intent with a sword or some dangerous weapon. Wherefore I gave him no poison, but a soothing drink of mandragora, which is of such force that it will cause any man to sleep as though he were dead. Neither is it any marvel if this most desperate man, who is certainly assured to be put to that death which is ordained by our ancient custom, can suffer or abide these facile and easy torments. But if it be so that the child hath received the drink as I tempered it with mine own hands, he is yet alive and doth but rest and sleep, and after his sleep he shall return to life again; but if he hath been murdered, if he be dead indeed, then may you further enquire of the causes of his death.”
Tum medicus: “Non patiar” inquit “Hercule, non patiar vel contra fas de innocente isto iuvene supplicium vos sumere, vel hunc ludificato nostro iudicio poenam noxii facinoris evadere. Dabo enim rei praesentis evidens argumentum: nam cum venenum peremptorium comparare pessimus iste gestiret, nec meae sectae crederem convenire causas ulli praebere mortis, nec exitio sed saluti hominum medicinam quaesitam esse didicissem, verens ne si daturum me negassem, intempestiva repulsa viam sceleri subministrarem et ab alio quopiam exitiabilem mercatus hic potionem vel postremum gladio vel quovis telo nefas inchoatum perficeret, dedi venenum, sed somniferum; mandragoram illum gravedinis compertae famosum et morti simillimi soporis efficacem. Nec mirum desperatissimum istum latronem, certum extremae poenae, quae more maiorum in eum competit, cruciatus istos ut leviores facile tolerare. Sed si vere puer meis temperatam manibus sumpsit potionem, vivit et quiescit et dormit et protinus marcido sopore discusso remeabit ad diem lucidam: quod si vere peremptus est, si morte praeventus est, quaeratis licet causas mortis eius alias.”
The opinion of this ancient physician was found good, and every man had a desire to go to the sepulchre where the child was laid: there was none of the justices, none of any reputation of the town, nor any indeed of the common people, but went to see this strange sight. Amongst them all the father of the child removed with his own hands the cover of the coffin, and found his son rising up after his dead and soporiferous sleep: and when he beheld him as one risen from the dead he embraced him in his arms; and he could speak never a word for his present gladness, but presented him before the people with great joy and consolation, and as he was wrapped and bound in the clothes of his grave, so he brought him before the judges. Hereupon the wickedness of the servant and the treason of the stepdame were plainly discovered, and the verity of the matter nakedly revealed: whereby the woman was perpetually exiled, the servant hanged on a gallows, and by the consent of all the physician had the crowns to be a reward for the timely sleep which he had prepared for the child. Behold how the great and wonderful fortune of the old man brought by the providence of God to an happy end, who, thinking to be deprived of all his race and posterity, was quickly, nay in the twinkling of an eye, made the father of two children.
Ad istum modum seniore adorante placuit, et itur confestim magna cum festinatione ad illud sepuldirum, quo corpus pueri depositum iacebat: nemo de curia, de optimatibus nemo ac ne de ipso quidem populo quisquam, qui non illuc curiose confluxerit. Ecce pater, suis ipse manibus cooperculo capuli remoto, commodum discusso mortifero sopore surgentem postliminio mortis deprehendit filium, eumque complexus artissime, verbis impar praesenti gaudio, producit ad populum atque, ut erat adhuc feralibus amiculis instrictus atque obditus, deportatur ad iudicium puer. Iamque liquido servi nequissimi atque mulieris nequioris patefactis sceleribus procedit in medium nuda veritas; et novercae quidem perpetuum indicitur exilium, servus vero patibulo suffigitur et omnium consensu bono medico sinuntur aurei, opportuni somni pretium. Et illius quidem senis famosa atque fabulosa fortuna providentiae divinae condignum excipit exitum, qui momento modico, immo puncto exiguo, post orbitatis periculum, adolescentium duorum pater repente factus est.
But as for me I was ruled and handled by fortune, according to her pleasure: for the soldier which got me without a seller and paid never a penny for me, by the commandment of his captain was sent unto Rome in course of his duty to carry letters to the great Prince, and before he went he sold me for eleven pence to two of his companions, brothers, being servants to a man of worship and wealth, whereof one was a baker, that baked sweet bread and delicates; the other a cook, which dressed with rich sauces fine and excellent meats for his master. These two lived in common, and would drive me from place to place to carry such vessels as were necessary for their master when he travelled through divers countries. In this sort I was received by these two as a third brother and companion, and I thought I was never better placed than with them: for when night came and the lord's supper was done, which was always exceedingly rich and splendid, my masters would bring many good morsels into their chamber for themselves: one would bring large rests of pigs, chickens, fish, and other good meats; the other fine bread, pastries, tarts, custards, and other delicate junkets dipped in honey. And when before meat they had shut their chamber door and went to the baths; O Lord, how I would fill my guts with those goodly dishes: neither was I so much a fool, or so very an ass, as to leave the dainty meats and grind my teeth upon hard hay. In this sort I continued a great space in my artful thieving, for I played the honest ass, taking but a little of one dish and a little of another, whereby no man mistrusted me. In the end I was more hardier and more sure that I should not be discovered, and began to devour the whole messes of the sweetest delicates, which caused the baker and the cook to suspect not a little; howbeit they never mistrusted me, but searched about to apprehend the daily thief.
At ego tunc temporis talibus fatorum fluctibus volutabar: miles ille, qui me nullo vendente comi paraverat et sine pretio suum fecerat, tribuni sui praecepto debitum sustinens obsequium, litteras ad magnum scriptas principem Romam versus perlaturus, vicinis me quibusdam duobus servis fratribus undecim denariis vendidit. His erat dives admodum dominus: at illorum alter pistor dulciarius, qui panes et mellita concinnabat edulia, alter cocus, qui sapidissimis intrimentis succuum pulmenta condita vapore mollibat. Unico illi contubernio communem vitam sustinebant meque ad vasa illa compluria gestanda praedestinarant, quae domini regiones plusculas pererrantis variis usibus erant necessaria. Adsciscor itaque inter duos illos fratres tertius contubernalis, haud ullo tempore tam benivolam fortunam expertus: nam vespera, post opiparas cenas earumque splendidissimos apparatus, multas numero partes in cellulam suam mei solebant reportare domini: ille porcorum, pullorum, piscium et cuiuscemodi pulmentorum largissimas reliquias, hic panes, crustula, lucunculos, hamos, lacertulos et plura scitamenta mellita. Qui cum se refecturi clausa cellula balneas petissent, oblatis ego divinitus dapibus affatim saginabar: nec enim tam stultus eram tamque vere asinus, ut dulcissimis illis relictis cibis cenarem asperrimum faenum.
At length they began to accuse one another of base theft, and to keep and guard the dishes more diligently, and to number and set them in order, one by another, because they would learn what was taken away: and at last one of them was compelled to throw aside all doubting and to say thus to his fellow: “Is it right or reason to break promise and faith in this sort, by stealing away the best meat and selling to augment thy private good, and yet nevertheless to have thy equal part of the residue that is left? If our partnership do displease thee, we will be partners and brothers in other things, but in this we will break off: for I perceive that the great loss which I sustain will at length grow from complaining to be a cause of great discord between us.” Then answered the other: “Verily I praise thy great constancy and subtileness, in that thou (when thou hast secretly taken away the meat) dost begin to complain first; whereas I by long space of time have silently suffered thee, because I would not seem to accuse my brother of a scurvy theft. But I am right glad in that we are fallen into communication of this matter, to seek a remedy for it, lest by our silence like contention might arise between us as fortuned between Eteocles 1 and his brother.” When they had reasoned and striven together in this sort, they sware both earnestly that neither of them stole or took away any jot of the meat, but that they must conclude to search out the thief by all kind of means in common. For they could not imagine or think that the ass, who stood alone there, would fancy any such meats, and yet every day the best parts thereof would utterly disappear; neither could they think that flies were so great or ravenous as to devour whole dishes of meat, like the birds harpies which carried away the meats of Phineus, king of Arcadia. In the mean season, while I was fed with dainty morsels, and fattened with food fit for men, I gathered together my flesh, my skin waxed soft and juicy, my hair began to shine, and I was gallant on every part;
Et diu quidem pulcherrime mihi furatrinae procedebat artificium, quippe adhuc timide et satis parce surripienti de tam multis pauciora, nec illis fraudes, ullas in asino suspicantibus. At ubi fiducia latendi pleniore capta partes opimas quasque devorabam et iucundiora eligens abligurribam dulcia, suspicio noni exilis fratrum pupugit animos et quamquam de me nihil etiam tum tale crederent, tamen cotidiani damni studiose vestigabant reum Illi vero postremo etiam mutuo sese rapinae turpissimae criminabantur, iamque curam diligentiorem et acriorem custodelam et dinumerationem adhibebant partium. Tandem denique rupta verecundia sic alter alterum compellat: “At istud iam neque aequum ac ne humanum quidem, cotidie ac partes electiores surripere atque iis divenditis peculium latenter augere, de reliquis aequam vindicare divisionem. Si tibi denique societas ista displicet, possumus omnia quidem cetera fratres manere, ab isto tamen nexu communionis discedere: nam video in immensum damni procedentem querelam nutrire nobis immanem discordiam.” Subicit alius: “Laudo istam tuam mehercules et ipse constantiam, quod cotidie furatis clanculo partibus praevenisti querimoniam, quam diutissime sustinens tacitus ingemescebam, ne viderer rapinae sordidae meum fratrem arguere. Sed bene, quod utrimquesecus sermone prolato iacturae remedium quaeritur, ne silentio procedens simultas Eteocleas nobis contentiones pariat.”
but such fair and comely shape of my body was cause of my dishonour, for the baker and the cook marvelled to see me so sleek and fine, considering that my hay was every day left untouched. Wherefore they turned all their minds towards me, and on a time when at their accustomed hour they made as they would go to the baths and locked their chamber door, it fortuned that ere they departed away they espied me through a little hole how I fell roundly to my victuals that lay spread abroad. Then they marvelled greatly, and little esteeming the loss of their meat laughed exceedingly at the marvellous daintiness of an ass, calling the servants of the house, one by one and then more together, to shew them the greedy gorge and wonderful appetite of a slow beast. The laughing of them all was so immoderate that the master of the house passing by heard them, and demanded the cause of their laughter; and when he understood all the matter, he looked through the hole likewise, wherewith he took such a delectation that he had well nigh burst his guts with laughing and commanded the door to be opened, that he might see me at his pleasure. Then I, beholding the face of fortune altogether smiling upon me, was nothing abashed, but rather more bold for joy, whereby I never rested eating till such time as the master of the house commanded me to be brought out as a novelty, nay he led me into his own parlour with his own hands, and there caused all kinds of meats, which had been never before touched, to be set on the table;
His et similibus altercati conviciis deierantur utrique nullam se prorsus fraudem, nullam denique surreptionem factitasse, sed plane debere cunctis artibus communis dispendii latronem inquiri: nam neque asinum, qui solus interesset, talibus cibis affici posse, et tamen cotidie partes electiles comparere nusquam, nec utique cellulam suam tam immanes involare muscas ut olim Harpyiae fuere, quae diripiebant Phineias dapes. Interea liberalibus cenis inescatus et humanis affatim cibis saginatus, corpus obesa pinguitie compleveram, corium arvina succulenta molliveram, pilum liberali nitore nutriveram. Sed iste corporis mei decor pudori peperit grande dedecus: insolita namque tergoris vastitate commoti, faenum prorsus intactum cotidie remanere cernentes, iam totos ad me dirigunt animos; et hora consueta velut balneas petituri, clausis ex more foribus, per quandam modicam cavernam rimantur me passim expositis epulis inhaerentem. Nec ulla cura iam damni sui habita, mirati monstruosas asini delicias risu maximo dirumpuntur, vocatoque uno et altero ac dein pluribus conservis, demonstrant infandam memoratu hebetis iumenti gulam. Tantus denique ac tam liberalis cachinnus cunctos invaserat, ut ad aures quoque praetereuntis perveniret domini:
and these (although I had eaten sufficiently before, yet to win the further favour of the master of the house) I did greedily devour, and made a clean riddance of the delicate meats. And to prove my mild and docile nature wholly, they gave me such meat as every ass doth greatly abhor, for they put before me beef and vinegar, birds and pepper, fish and sharp sauce. In the mean season, they that beheld me at the table did nothing but laugh; then one of the wits that was there said to his master: “I pray you, sir, give this feaster some drink to his supper.” “Marry,” quoth he, “I think thou sayest true, rascal; for so it may be that to his meat this our dinner-fellow would drink likewise a cup of wine. Oh, boy, wash yonder golden pot, and fill it with wine; which done, carry it to my guest, and say that I have drank to him.” Then all the standers-by looked on, looking eagerly to see what would come to pass; but I (as soon as I beheld the cup) stayed not long, but at my leisure, like a good companion, gathering my lips together to the fashion of a man's tongue, supped up all the wine at one draught, while all who were there present shouted very loudly and wished me good health. The master, being right joyful hereat, caused the baker and the cook which had bought me to come before him; to whom he delivered four times as much for me as they paid. Then he committed me to one of his most favourite freedmen, that was very rich, and charged him to look well to me, and that I should lack nothing. He obeyed his master's commandment in every point, feeding me with kindness and civility; and to the end he would creep further into his favour, he taught me a thousand qualities and tricks for his pleasure. First he instructed me to sit at the table upon my tail,1 and then how I should wrestle and dance holding up my fore feet; moreover he taught me (which was much more wonderful) how I should answer when anybody spake unto me, with lifting 1 my head if I would not anything, but bowing it if I would; and if I did lack drink, I should look still upon the minister of drink, winking first with one eye and then with the other. All which things I did willingly bring to pass, and obeyed his doctrine; howbeit I could have done all these things without his teaching, but I feared greatly lest in shewing myself cunning to do all like a man, without a master, I should portend some great and strange wonder, and as a prodigy thereby be slain and thrown out to wild vultures.
sciscitatus denique, quid bonum rideret familia, cognito quod res erat, ipse quoque per idem prospiciens foramen delectatur eximie. Ac dehinc risu ipse quoque latissimo ad usque intestinorum dolorem redactus, iam patefacto cubiculo proxime consistens coram arbitratus Nam et ego tandem ex aliqua parte mollius mihi renidentis fortunae contemplatus faciem, gaudio praesentium fiduciam mihi subministrante, nec tantillum commotus, securus esitabam, quoad novitate spectaculi laetus dominus aedium duci me iussit, immo vero suis etiam ipse manibus ad triclinium perduxit mensaque. posita omne genus edulium solidorum et illibata fercula iussit apponi. At ego, quamquam iam bellule suffarcinatus, gratiosum commendatioremque me tamen ei facere cupiens esurienter exhibitas escas appetebam: nam et quid potissimum abhorreret asino excogitantes scrupulose, ad explorandam mansuetudinem id offerebant mihi, carnes lasere infectas, altilia pipere inspersa, pisces exotico iure perfusos. Interim convivium summo risu personabat: quidam denique praesens scurrula “Date” inquit “Sodali huic quippiam meri.” Quod dictum dominus secutus "Non adeo" respondit “Absurde locutus es, furcifer: valde enim fieri potest ut contubernalis noster poculum quoque mulsi libenter appetat.” Et “heus,” ait “Puer, lautum diligenter ecce illum aureum cantharum mulso contempera et offer parasito meo; simul quod ei praebiberim commoneto.” Ingens exin oborta est epulonum expectatio: nec ulla tamen ego ratione conterritus otiose ac satis genialiter contorta in modum linguae postrema labia grandissimum illum calicem uno haustu perduxi: clamor exsurgit consona voce cunctorum salute me prosequentium.
But my fame was spread about in every place, and the qualities which I could do, in so much that my master was renowned throughout all the country by reason of me. For every man would say: “Behold the gentleman that hath an ass that will eat and drink with him, an ass that will box, an ass that will dance, an ass that understandeth what is said to him and will shew his fantasy by signs.” But first I will tell you (which I should have done before) who my master was, and of what country. His name was Thiasus; he was born at Corinth, which is the principal town of all the province of Achaea; he had passed all offices of honour in due course according as his birth and dignity required, and he should now take upon him the degree Quinquennial 2: and now to shew his worthiness to enter upon that office, and to purchase the benevolence of every person, he appointed and promised public joys and triumphs of gladiators, to endure the space of three days. To bring his endeavour for the public favour to pass, he came into Thessaly to buy excellent beasts and valiant fighters for the purpose, and now when he had bought such things as were necessary, and was about returning home, he would not journey into his country in his fine chariots or splendid wagons, which travelled behind him in the rear, some covered and some open, neither would he ride upon Thessalian horses, or gennets of France, which be most excellent (by reason of their long descent) that can be found;
Magno denique delibutus gaudio dominus vocatis servis suis, emptoribus meis, iubet quadruplum restitui pretium meque cuidam acceptissimo liberto suo et satis peculiato, magnam praefatus diligentiam, tradidit; qui me satis humane satisque comiter nutriebat et, quo se patrono commendatiorem faceret, studiosissime voluptates eius per meas argutias instruebat. Et primum me quidem mensam accumbere suffixo cubito, dein alluctari et etiam saltare sublatis primoribus pedibus perdocuit, quodque esset apprime mirabile, verbis nutum commodare, ut quod nollem relato, quod vellem deiecto capite monstrarem, sitiensque pocillatore respecto, ciliis alterna connivens, bibere flagitarem Atque haec omnia perfacile oboediebam, quae nullo etiam monstrante scilicet facerem: sed verebar ne si forte sine magistro humano ritu ederem pleraque, rati scaevum praesagium portendere, velut monstrum ostentumque me obtruncatum vulturiis opimum pabulum redderent. Iamque rumor publice crebruerat, quo conspectum atque famigerabilem meis miris artibus effeceram dominum: hic est qui sodalem convivamque possidet asinum luctantem, asinum saltantem, asinum voces humanas intellegentem, sensum nutibus exprimentem.