1. Friendship—its nature and qualities, what constitutes a friend, and whether the term friendship has one or several meanings, and if several, how many, and also what is our duty towards a friend and what are the just claims of friendship—is a matter that calls for investigation no less than any of the things that are fine and desirable in men’s characters. For to promote friendship is thought to be the special task of political science; and people say that it is on this account that goodness is a valuable thing, for persons wrongfully treated by one another cannot be each other’s friends. Furthermore we all say that justice and injustice are chiefly displayed towards friends; it is thought that a good man is a friendly man, and that friendship is a state of the moral character; and if one wishes to make men not act unjustly, it is enough to make them friends, for true friends do not wrong one another. But neither will men act unjustly if they are just; therefore justice and friendship are either the same or nearly the same thing. In addition to this, we consider a friend to be one of the greatest goods, and friendlessness and solitude a very terrible thing, because the whole of life and voluntary association is with friends; for we pass our days with our family or relations or comrades, children, parents or wife. And our private rights in relation to our friends depend only on ourselves, whereas our rights in relation to the rest of men are established by law and do not depend on us. Many questions are raised about friendship—first, on the line of those who take in wider considerations and extend the term. For some hold that like is friend to like, whence the sayings:Mark how God ever brings like men together“And thief knows thief and wolf his fellow wolf.” And the natural philosophers even arrange the whole of nature in a system by assuming as a first principle that like goes to like, owing to which Empedocles said that the dog sits on the tiling because it is most like him. Some people then give this account of a friend; but others say that opposite is dear to opposite, since it is what is loved and desired that is dear to everybody, and the dry does not desire the dry but the wet (whence the sayings—“Earth loveth rain,” and “In all things change is sweet—” change being transition to the opposite), whereas like hates like, for “Potter against potter has a grudge,” and animals that live on the same food are hostile to one another. These opinions, therefore, are thus widely variant. One party thinks that the like is friend and the opposite foe—The less is rooted enemy to the moreFor ever, and begins the day of hate, and moreover adversaries are separated in locality, whereas friendship seems to bring men together. The other party say that opposites are friends, and Heracleitus rebukes the poet who wrote—Would strife might perish out of heaven and earth,for, he says, there would be no harmony without high and low notes, and no animals without male and female, which are opposites. These, then, are two opinions about friendship, and being so widely separated they are too general; but there are others that are closer together and more akin to the facts of observation. Some persons think that it is not possible for bad men to be friends, but only for the good. Others think it strange that mothers should not love their own children (and maternal affection we see existing even among animals—at least, animals choose to die for their young). Others hold that only what is useful is a friend, the proof being that all men actually do pursue the useful, and discard what is useless even in their own persons (as the old Socrates used to say, instancing spittle, hair and nails), and that we throw away even parts of the body that are of no use, and finally the body itself, when it dies, as a corpse is useless—but people that have a use for it keep it, as in Egypt. Now all these factors seem to be somewhat opposed to one another. For like is of no use to like and opposition is farthest removed from likeness, and at the same time opposite is most useless to opposite, since opposite is destructive of opposite. Moreover some think that to gain a friend is easy, but others that it is the rarest thing to recognize a friend, and not possible without misfortune, as everybody wants to be thought a friend of the prosperous; and others maintain that we must not trust even those who stay with us in our misfortunes, because they are deceiving us and pretending, in order that by associating with us when unfortunate they may gain our friendship when we are again prosperous.
1. περὶ φιλίας, τί ἐστι καὶ ποῖόν τι, καὶ τίς ὁ φίλος, καὶ πότερον ἡ φιλία μοναχῶς λέγεται ἢ πλεοναχῶς, καὶ εἰ πλεοναχῶς, πόσα ἐστίν, ἔτι δὲ πῶς χρηστέον τῷ φίλῳ καὶ τί τὸ δίκαιον τὸ φιλικόν, ἐπισκεπτέον οὐθενὸς ἧττον τῶν περὶ τὰ ἤθη καλῶν καὶ αἱρετῶν. τῆς τε γὰρ πολιτικῆς ἔργον εἶναι δοκεῖ μάλιστα ποιῆσαι φιλίαν, καὶ τὴν ἀρετὴν διὰ τοῦτό φασιν εἶναι χρήσιμον· οὐ γὰρ ἐνδέχεσθαι φίλους ἑαυτοῖς εἶναι τοὺς ἀδικουμένους ὑπʼ ἀλλήλων. ἔτι τὸ δίκαιον καὶ τὸ ἄδικον περὶ τοὺς φίλους εἶναι μάλιστα πάντες φαμέν, καὶ ὁ αὐτὸς δοκεῖ ἀνὴρ εἶναι καὶ ἀγαθὸς καὶ φίλος, καὶ φιλία ἠθική τις εἶναι ἕξις, καὶ ἐάν τις βούληται ποιῆσαι ὥστε μὴ ἀδικεῖν, ἀλλʼ εἰς φίλους ποιῆσαι· οἱ γὰρ ἀληθινοὶ φίλοι οὐκ ἀδικοῦσιν. ἀλλὰ μὴν καὶ ἐὰν δίκαιοι ὦσιν, οὐκ ἀδικήσουσιν· ἢ ταὐτὸν ἄρα ἢ ἐγγύς τι ἡ δικαιοσύνη καὶ ἡ φιλία. πρὸς δὲ τούτοις τῶν μεγίστων ἀγαθῶν τὸν φίλον εἶναι ὑπολαμβάνομεν, τὴν δὲ ἀφιλίαν καὶ τὴν ἐρημίαν δεινότατον, ὅτι ὁ βίος ἅπας καὶ ἡ ἑκούσιος ὁμιλία μετὰ τούτων· μετʼ οἰκείων γὰρ ἢ μετὰ συγγενῶν ἢ μεθʼ ἑταίρων συνδιημερεύομεν, ἢ τέκνων ἢ γονέων ἢ γυναικός. καὶ τὰ ἴδια δίκαια τὰ πρὸς τοὺς φίλους ἐστὶν ἐφʼ ἡμῖν μόνον, τὰ δὲ πρὸς τοὺς ἄλλους νενομοθέτηται, καὶ οὐκ ἐφʼ ἡμῖν. ἀπορεῖται δὲ πολλὰ περὶ τῆς φιλίας, πρῶτον μὲν ὡς οἱ ἔξωθεν παραλαμβάνοντες καὶ ἐπὶ πλέον λέγοντες· δοκεῖ γὰρ τοῖς μὲν τὸ ὅμοιον τῷ ὁμοίῳ εἶναι φίλον, ὅθεν εἴρηταιὡς αἰεὶ τὸν ὅμοιον ἄγει θεὸς ὡς τὸν ὅμοιον·καὶ γὰρ κολοιὸς παρὰ κολοιόν· ἔγνω δὲ φώρ τε φῶρα, καὶ λύκος λύκον. οἱ δὲ φυσιολόγοι καὶ τὴν ὅλην φύσιν διακοσμοῦσιν ἀρχὴν λαβόντες τὸ τὸ ὅμοιον ἰέναι πρὸς τὸ ὅμοιον, διὸ Ἐμπεδοκλῆς καὶ τὴν κύνʼ ἔφη καθῆσθαι ἐπὶ τῆς κεραμῖδος διὰ τὸ ἔχειν πλεῖστον ὅμοιον. οἳ μὲν οὖν οὕτω τὸ φίλον λέγουσιν· οἳ δὲ τὸ ἐναντίον τῷ ἐναντίῳ φασὶν εἶναι φίλον. τὸ μὲν γὰρ ἐρώμενον καὶ ἐπιθυμητὸν πᾶσιν εἶναι φίλον, ἐπιθυμεῖ δὲ οὐ τὸ ξηρὸν τοῦ ξηροῦ, ἀλλʼ ὑγροῦ, ὅθεν εἴρηται ἐρᾷ μὲν ὄμβρου γαῖα καὶ τὸμεταβολὴ πάντων γλυκύ.ἡ δὲ μεταβολὴ εἰς τοὐναντίον. τὸ δʼ ὅμοιον ἐχθρὸν τῷ ὁμοίῳ· καὶ γὰρκεραμεὺς κεραμεῖ κοτέει,καὶ τὰ ἀπὸ τῶν αὐτῶν τρεφόμενα πολέμια ἀλλήλοις ζῷα. αὗται μὲν οὖν αἱ ὑπολήψεις τοσοῦτον διεστᾶσιν. αἳ μὲν γὰρ τὸ ὅμοιον φίλον, τὸ δʼ ἐναντίον πολέμιον,τῷ πλέονι δʼ αἰεὶ πολέμιον καθίσταταιτοὔλασσον, ἐχθρᾶς θʼ ἡμέρας κατάρχεται,ἔτι δὲ καὶ οἱ τόποι κεχωρισμένοι τῶν ἐναντίων, ἡ δὲ φιλία δοκεῖ συνάγειν· οἳ δὲ τὰ ἐναντία φίλα, καὶ Ἡράκλειτος ἐπιτιμᾷ τῷ ποιήσαντιὡς ἔρις ἔκ τε θεῶν καὶ ἀνθρώπων ἀπόλοιτο,οὐ γὰρ ἂν εἶναι ἁρμονίαν μὴ ὄντος ὀξέος καὶ βαρέος, οὐδὲ τὰ ζῷα ἄνευ θήλεως καὶ ἄρρενος ἐναντίων ὄντων. δύο μὲν αὗται δόξαι περὶ φιλίας εἰσί, λίαν τε καθόλου ⟨καὶ⟩ κεχωρισμέναι τοσοῦτον· ἄλλαι δὲ ἤδη ἐγγυτέρω καὶ οἰκεῖαι τῶν φαινομένων. τοῖς μὲν γὰρ οὐκ ἐνδέχεσθαι δοκεῖ τοὺς φαύλους εἶναι φίλους, ἀλλὰ μόνον τοὺς ἀγαθούς· τοῖς δʼ ἄτοπον εἰ μὴ φιλοῦσιν αἱ μητέρες τὰ τέκνα (φαίνεται δὲ καὶ ἐν τοῖς θηρίοις ἐνοῦσα φιλία· προαποθνήσκειν γοῦν αἱροῦνται τῶν τέκνων)· τοῖς δὲ τὸ χρήσιμον δοκεῖ φίλον εἶναι μόνον. σημεῖον δʼ ὅτι καὶ διώκουσι ταῦτα πάντες, τὰ δὲ ἄχρηστα καὶ αὐτοὶ αὑτῶν ἀποβάλλουσιν· ὥσπερ Σωκράτης ὁ γέρων ἔλεγε τὸν πτύελον καὶ τὰς τρίχας καὶ τοὺς ὄνυχας παραβάλλων, καὶ τὰ μόρια ὅτι ῥιπτοῦμεν τὰ ἄχρηστα, καὶ τέλος τὸ σῶμα, ὅταν ἀποθάνῃ· ἄχρηστος γὰρ ὁ νεκρός. οἷς δὲ χρήσιμον, φυλάττουσιν, ὥσπερ ἐν Αἰγύπτῳ. ταῦτα δὴ πάντα δοκεῖ μὲν ὑπεναντία ἀλλήλοις εἶναι. τό τε γὰρ ⟨ὅμοιον⟩ ἄχρηστον τῷ ὁμοίῳ, καὶ ἐναντιότης ὁμοιότητος ἀπέχει πλεῖστον, καὶ τὸ ἐναντίον ἀχρηστότατον τῷ ἐναντίῳ· φθαρτικὸν γὰρ τοῦ ἐναντίου τὸ ἐναντίον. ἔτι δοκεῖ τοῖς μὲν ῥᾴδιον τὸ κτήσασθαι φίλον· τοῖς δὲ σπανιώτατον γνῶναι, καὶ οὐκ ἐνδέχεσθαι ἄνευ ἀτυχίας (τοῖς γὰρ εὖ πράττουσι βούλονται πάντες δοκεῖν φίλοι εἶναι)· οἳ δʼ οὐδὲ τοῖς συνδιαμένουσιν ἐν ταῖς ἀτυχίαις ἀξιοῦσι πιστεύειν, ὡς ἐξαπατῶντας καὶ προσποιουμένους, ἵνα κτήσωνται διὰ τῆς τῶν ἀτυχούντων ὁμιλίας πάλιν εὐτυχούντων φιλίαν.
2. Accordingly a line of argument must be taken that will best explain to us the views held on these matters and at the same time solve the difficulties and contradictions. And this will be secured if the contradictory views are shown to be held with some reason. For such a line of argument will be most in agreement with the observed facts: and in the upshot, if what is said is true in one sense but not true in another, both the contradictory views stand good.
2. ληπτέος δὴ τρόπος ὅστις ἡμῖν ἅμα τά τε δοκοῦντα περὶ τούτων μάλιστα ἀποδώσει, καὶ τὰς ἀπορίας λύσει καὶ τὰς ἐναντιώσεις. τοῦτο δʼ ἔσται, ἐὰν εὐλόγως φαίνηται τὰ ἐναντία δοκοῦντα· μάλιστα γὰρ ὁμολογούμενος ὁ τοιοῦτος ἔσται λόγος τοῖς φαινομένοις. συμβαίνει δὲ μένειν τὰς ἐναντιώσεις, ἐὰν ἔστι ⟨μὲν⟩ ὡς ἀληθὲς ᾖ τὸ λεγόμενον, ἔστι δʼ ὡς οὔ.
There is also a question as to whether what is dear to us is the pleasant or the good. If we hold dear what we desire (and that is specially characteristic of love, for “None is a lover that holds not dear for aye),” and desire is for what is pleasant, on this showing it is the pleasant that is dear; whereas if we hold dear what we wish, it is the good; but the pleasant and the good are different things.
ἔχει δʼ ἀπορίαν καὶ πότερον τὸ ἡδὺ ἢ τὸ ἀγαθόν ἐστι τὸ φιλούμενον. εἰ μὲν γὰρ φιλοῦμεν οὗ ἐπιθυμοῦμεν, καὶ μάλιστα ὁ ἔρως τοιοῦτον (οὐθεὶς γὰρἐραστὴς ὅστις οὐκ ἀεὶ φιλεῖ,) ʼἡ δὲ ἐπιθυμία τοῦ ἡδέος, ταύτῃ μὲν τὸ φιλούμενον τὸ ἡδὺ, εἰ δὲ ὃ βουλόμεθα, τὸ ἀγαθόν·
We must therefore attempt to decide about these matters and others akin to them, taking as a starting point the following. The thing desired and wished is either the good or the apparent good. Therefore also the pleasant is desired, for it is an apparent good, since some people think it good, and to others it appears good even though they do not think it so (as appearance and opinion are not in the same part of the spirit). Yet it is clear that both the good and the pleasant are dear.
ἔστι δʼ ἕτερον τὸ ἡδὺ καὶ τὸ ἀγαθόν. περὶ δὴ τούτων καὶ τῶν ἄλλων τῶν συγγενῶν τούτοις πειρατέον διορίσαι, λαβοῦσιν ἀρχὴν τήνδε. τὸ γὰρ ὀρεκτὸν καὶ βουλητὸν ἢ τὸ ἀγαθὸν ἢ τὸ φαινόμενον ἀγαθόν. διὸ καὶ τὸ ἡδὺ ὀρεκτόν· φαινόμενον γάρ τι ἀγαθόν. τοῖς μὲν γὰρ δοκεῖ, τοῖς δὲ φαίνεται κἂν μὴ δοκῇ.
This being decided, we must make another assumption. Things good are some of them absolutely good, others good for someone but not good absolutely; and the same things are absolutely good and absolutely pleasant. For things advantageous for a healthy body we pronounce good for the body absolutely, but things good for a sick body not—for example doses of medicine and surgical operations;
οὐ γὰρ ἐν ταὐτῷ τῆς ψυχῆς ἡ φαντασία καὶ ἡ δόξα. ὅτι μέντοι φίλον καὶ τὸ ἀγαθὸν καὶ τὸ ἡδύ, δῆλον. τούτου δὲ διωρισμένου ληπτέον ὑπόθεσιν ἑτέραν. τῶν γὰρ ἀγαθῶν τὰ μὲν ἁπλῶς ἐστιν ἀγαθά, τὰ δὲ τινί, ἁπλῶς δὲ οὔ. καὶ τὰ αὐτὰ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὰ καὶ ἁπλῶς ἡδέα.
and likewise also the things pleasant for a healthy and perfect body are pleasant for the body absolutely, for example to live in the light and not in the dark, although the reverse is the case for a man with ophthalmia. And the pleasanter wine is not the wine pleasant to a man whose palate has been corrupted by tippling, since sometimes they pour in a dash of vinegar, but to the uncorrupted taste.
τὰ μὲν γὰρ τῷ ὑγιαίνοντί φαμεν σώματι συμφέροντα ἁπλῶς εἶναι σώματι ἀγαθά, τὰ δὲ τῷ κάμνοντι οὔ, οἷον φαρμακείας καὶ τομάς. ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ ἡδέα ἁπλῶς σώματι τὰ τῷ ὑγιαίνοντι καὶ ὁλοκλήρῳ, οἷον τὸ ἐν τῷ φωτὶ ὁρᾶν καὶ οὐ τὸ ἐν τῷ σκότει· καίτοι τῷ ὀφθαλμιῶντι ἐναντίως.
And similarly also in the case of the spirit, the really pleasant things are not those pleasant to children and animals, but those pleasant to the adult; at least it is these that we prefer when we remember both.
καὶ οἶνος ἡδίων οὐχ ὁ τῷ διεφθαρμένῳ τὴν γλῶτταν ὑπὸ οἰνοφλυγίας, ἐπεὶ οὔτε ὄξος παρεγχέουσιν, ἀλλὰ τῇ ἀδιαφθόρῳ αἰσθήσει.
And as a child or animal stands to an adult human being, so the bad and foolish man stands to the good and wise man; and these take pleasure in things that correspond to their characters, and these are things good and fine.
ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ ἐπὶ ψυχῆς, καὶ οὐχ ἃ τοῖς παιδίοις καὶ τοῖς θηρίοις, ἀλλʼ ἃ τοῖς καθεστῶσιν. ἀμφοτέρων γοῦν μεμνημένοι ταῦθʼ αἱρούμεθα.
Since therefore good is a term of more than one meaning (for we call one thing good because that is its essential nature, but another because it is serviceable and useful), and furthermore pleasant includes both what is absolutely pleasant and absolutely good and what is pleasant for somebody and apparently good—, as in the case of inanimate objects we may choose a thing and love it for each of these reasons, so also in the case of a human being, one man we love because of his character, and for goodness, another because he is serviceable and useful, another because he is pleasant, and for pleasure. And a man becomes a friend when while receiving affection he returns it, and when he and the other are in some way aware of this.
ὡς δʼ ἔχει παιδίον καὶ θηρίον πρὸς ἄνθρωπον καθεστῶτα, οὕτως ἔχει ὁ φαῦλος καὶ ἄφρων πρὸς τὸν ἐπιεικῆ καὶ φρόνιμον. τούτοις δὲ ἡδέα τὰ κατὰ τὰς ἕξεις· ταῦτα δʼ ἐστὶ τὰ ἀγαθὰ καὶ τὰ καλά. ἐπεὶ οὖν τὰ ἀγαθὰ πλεοναχῶς (τὸ μὲν γὰρ τῷ τοιόνδʼ εἶναι λέγομεν ἀγαθόν, τὸ δὲ τῷ ὠφέλιμον καὶ χρήσιμον), ἔτι δὲ τὸ ἡδὺ τὸ μὲν ἁπλῶς καὶ ἀγαθὸν ἁπλῶς, τὸ δὲ τινὶ καὶ φαινόμενον ἀγαθόν· ὥσπερ καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν ἀψύχων διʼ ἕκαστον τούτων ἐνδέχεται ἡμᾶς αἱρεῖσθαί τι καὶ φιλεῖν, οὕτω καὶ ἄνθρωπον. τὸν μὲν γὰρ ⟨τῷ⟩ τοιόνδε καὶ διʼ ἀρετήν, τὸν δʼ ὅτι ὠφέλιμος καὶ χρήσιμος, τὸν δʼ ὅτι ἡδὺς καὶ διʼ ἡδονήν.
It follows, therefore, that there are three sorts of friendship, and that they are not all so termed in respect of one thing or as species of one genus, nor yet have they the same name entirely by accident. For all these uses of the term are related to one particular sort of friendship which is primary, like the term “surgical” —and we speak of a surgical mind and a surgical hand and a surgical instrument and a surgical operation, but we apply the term properly to that which is primarily so called.
φίλος δὴ γίνεται ὅταν φιλούμενος ἀντιφιλῇ, καὶ τοῦτο μὴ λανθάνῃ πως αὐτούς. ἀνάγκη ἄρα τρία φιλίας εἴδη εἶναι, καὶ μήτε καθʼ ἓν ἁπάσας μηδʼ ὡς εἴδη ἑνὸς γένους, μήτε πάμπαν λέγεσθαι ὁμωνύμως. πρὸς μίαν γάρ τινα λέγονται καὶ πρώτην, ὥσπερ τὸ ἰατρικόν. καὶ ⟨γὰρ⟩ ψυχὴν ἰατρικὴν καὶ σῶμα λέγομεν καὶ ὄργανον καὶ ἔργον, ἀλλὰ κυρίως τὸ πρῶτον.
The primary is that of which the definition is implicit in the definition of all, for example a surgical instrument is an instrument that a surgeon would use, whereas the definition of the instrument is not implicit in that of surgeon.
πρῶτον δʼ οὗ λόγος ἐν ἡμῖν ὑπάρχει. οἷον ὄργανον ἰατρικὸν, ᾧ ἂν ὁ ἰατρὸς χρήσαιτο· ἐν δὲ τῷ τοῦ ἰατροῦ λόγῳ οὐκ ἔστιν ὁ τοῦ ὀργάνου.
Therefore in every case people seek the primary, and because the universal is primary they assume that also the primary is universal; but this is untrue. Hence in the case of friendship, they cannot take account of all the observed facts. For as one definition does not fit, they think that the other kinds of friendship are not friendships at all; but really they are, although not in the same way,
ζητεῖται μὲν οὖν πανταχοῦ τὸ πρῶτον· διὰ δὲ τὸ καθόλου εἶναι [τὸ] πρῶτον λαμβάνουσιν καὶ πρῶτον καθόλου, τοῦτο δʼ ἐστὶ ψεῦδος. ὥστε καὶ περὶ τῆς φιλίας οὐ δύνανται πάντʼ ἀποδιδόναι τὰ φαινόμενα. οὐ γὰρ ἐφαρμόττοντος ἑνὸς λόγου οὐκ οἴονται ⟨τὰς⟩ ἄλλας φιλίας εἶναι·
but when they find that the primary friendship does not fit, assuming that it would be universal if it really were primary, they say that the others are not friendships at all.
αἳ δʼ εἰσὶ μέν, ἀλλʼ οὐχ ὁμοίως εἰσίν· οἳ δʼ ὅταν ἡ πρώτη μὴ ἐφαρμόττῃ, ὡς οὖσαν καθόλου ἄν, εἴπερ ἦν πρώτη, οὐδʼ εἶναι φιλίας τὰς ἄλλας φασίν·
But in reality there are many kinds of friendships: this was among the things said already, as we have distinguished three senses of the term friendship—one sort has been defined as based on goodness, another on utility, another on pleasure.
ἔστι δὲ πολλὰ εἴδη φιλίας. τῶν γὰρ ῥηθέντων ἦν ἤδη, ἐπειδὴ διώρισται τριχῶς λέγεσθαι τὴν φιλίαν.
Of these the one based on utility is assuredly the friendship of most people; for they love one another because they are useful, and in so far as they are and so, as says the proverb—Glaucus, an ally is a friend,As long as he our battle fights,andAthens no longer knows Megara.
ἣ μὲν γὰρ διώρισται διʼ ἀρετήν, ἣ δὲ διὰ τὸ χρήσιμον, ἣ δὲ διὰ τὸ ἡδύ.
On the other hand friendship based on pleasure is the friendship of the young, for they have a sense of what is pleasant; hence young people’s friendship easily changes, for since their characters change as they grow up, their taste in pleasure also changes. But the friendship in conformity with goodness is the friendship of the best men.
τούτων ἡ μὲν διὰ τὸ χρήσιμόν ἐστιν ἡ [διὰ] τῶν πλείστων φιλία (διὰ γὰρ τὸ χρήσιμοι εἶναι φιλοῦσιν ἀλλήλους, καὶ μέχρι τούτου, ὥσπερ ἡ παροιμία Γλαῦκʼ ἐπίκουρος ἀνὴρ τὸν σοφὸν φίλον ἔσκε μάχηται,οὐκέτι γιγνώσκουσιν Ἀθηναῖοι Μεγαρῆας,) ἡ δὲ διʼ ἡδονὴν τῶν νέων (τούτου γὰρ αἴσθησιν ἔχουσιν· διὸ εὐμετάβολος φιλία ἡ τῶν νέων·
It is clear from this that the primary friendship, that of the good, is mutual reciprocity of affection and purpose. For the object of affection is dear to the giver of it, but also the giver of affection is himself dear to the object.
μεταβαλλόντων γὰρ τὰ ἤθη κατὰ τὰς ἡλικίας μεταβάλλει καὶ τὸ ἡδύ), ἡ δὲ κατʼ ἀρετὴν τῶν βελτίστων. φανερὸν δʼ ἐκ τούτων ὅτι ἡ πρώτη φιλία ἡ τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἐστιν ἀντιφιλία καὶ ἀντιπροαίρεσις πρὸς ἀλλήλους.
This friendship, therefore, only occurs in man, for he alone perceives purpose; but the other forms occur also in the lower animals. Indeed mutual utility manifestly exists to some small extent between the domestic animals and man, and between animals themselves, for instance Herodotus’s account of the friendship between the crocodile and the sandpiper, and the perching together and separating of birds of which soothsayers speak. The bad may be each other’s friends from motives both of utility and of pleasure;
φίλον μὲν γὰρ τὸ φιλούμενον τῷ φιλοῦντι, φίλος δὲ τῷ φιλουμένῳ καὶ ἀντιφιλῶν. αὕτη μὲν οὖν ἐν ἀνθρώποις μόνον ὑπάρχει φιλία (μόνον γὰρ αἰσθάνεται προαιρέσεως)· αἱ δʼ ἄλλαι καὶ ἐν τοῖς θηρίοις, καὶ τὸ χρήσιμον ἐπὶ μικρόν τι φαίνεται ἐνυπάρχον καὶ πρὸς ἄνθρωπον τοῖς ἡμέροις καὶ πρὸς ἄλληλα, οἷον τὸν τροχίλον φησὶν Ἡρόδοτος τῷ κροκοδείλῳ, καὶ ὡς οἱ μάντεις τὰς συνεδρείας καὶ διεδρείας λέγουσιν.
though some say that they are not really friends, because the primary kind of friendship does not belong to them, since obviously a bad man will injure a bad man, and those who suffer injury from one another do not feel affection for one another.
καὶ οἱ φαῦλοι ἂν εἶεν φίλοι ἀλλήλοις καὶ διὰ τὸ χρήσιμον καὶ διὰ τὸ ἡδύ. οἳ δʼ ὅτι ἡ πρώτη οὐχ ὑπάρχει αὐτοῖς, οὔ φασι φίλους εἶναι·
But as a matter of fact bad men do feel affection for one another, though not according to the primary form of friendship—because clearly nothing hinders their being friends under the other forms, since for the sake of pleasure they put up with one another although they are being harmed, so long as they are lacking in self-restraint.
ἀδικήσει γὰρ ὅ γε φαῦλος τὸν φαῦλον, οἱ δʼ ἀδικούμενοι οὐ φιλοῦσι σφᾶς αὐτούς. οἳ δὲ φιλοῦσι μέν, ἀλλʼ οὐ τὴν πρώτην φιλίαν, ἐπεὶ τάς γε ἑτέρας οὐθὲν κωλύει. διʼ ἡδονὴν γὰρ ὑπομένουσιν ἀλλήλους βλαπτόμενοι, ὡς ἂν ὦσιν ἀκρατεῖς·
The view is also held, when people look into the matter closely, that those who feel affection for each other on account of pleasure are not friends, because it is not the primary friendship, since that is reliable but this is unreliable. But as a matter of fact it is friendship, as has been said, though not that sort of friendship but one derived from it.
οὐ δοκοῦσι δʼ οὐδʼ οἱ διʼ ἡδονὴν φιλοῦντες ἀλλήλους φίλοι εἶναι, ὅταν κατʼ ἀκρίβειαν ζητῶσιν, ὅτι οὐχ ἡ πρώτη. ἐκείνη μὲν γὰρ βέβαιος, αὕτη δὲ ἀβέβαιος. ἣ δʼ ἐστὶ μέν, ὥσπερ εἴρηται, φιλία, οὐκ ἐκείνη δέ, ἀλλʼ ἀπʼ ἐκείνης.
Therefore to confine the use of the term friend to that form of friendship alone is to do violence to observed facts, and compels one to talk paradoxes; though it is not possible to bring all friendship under one definition.
τὸ μὲν οὖν ἐκείνως μόνον λέγειν τὸν φίλον βιάζεσθαι τὰ φαινόμενα ἐστί, καὶ παράδοξα λέγειν ἀναγκαῖον· καθʼ ἕνα δὲ λόγον πάσας ἀδύνατον.
The only remaining alternative, therefore, is, that in a sense the primary sort of friendship alone is friendship, but in a sense all sorts are, not as having a common name by accident and standing in a merely chance relationship to one another, nor yet as falling under one species, but rather as related to one thing.
λείπεται τοίνυν οὕτως, ὅτι ἔστι μὲν ὡς μόνη ⟨ἡ⟩ πρώτη φιλία, ἔστι δὲ ὡς πᾶσαι, οὔτε ὡς ὁμώνυμοι καὶ ὡς ἔτυχον ἔχουσαι πρὸς ἑαυτάς, οὔτε καθʼ ἓν εἶδος, ἀλλὰ μᾶλλον πρὸς ἕν.
And since the same thing is absolutely good and absolutely pleasant at the same time if nothing interferes, and the true friend and friend absolutely is the primary friend, and such is a friend chosen in and for himself (and he must necessarily be such, for he for whom one wishes good for his own sake must necessarily be desirable for his own sake),
ἐπεὶ δʼ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὸν καὶ ἁπλῶς ἡδὺ τὸ αὐτὸ καὶ ἅμα, ἂν μή τι ἐμποδίζῃ, ὁ δʼ ἀληθινὸς φίλος καὶ ἁπλῶς ὁ πρῶτος ἐστίν, ἔστι δὲ τοιοῦτος ὁ διʼ αὑτὸν αὐτὸς αἱρετός (ἀνάγκη δʼ εἶναι τοιοῦτον· ὡς γὰρ βούλεταί τις διʼ αὑτὸν εἶναι τἀγαθά, ἀνάγκη καὶ αὐτὸν αἱρεῖσθαι εἶναι), ὁ δʼ ἀληθινὸς φίλος καὶ ἡδύς ἐστιν ἁπλῶς·
a true friend is also absolutely pleasant; owing to which it is thought that a friend of any sort is pleasant.
διὸ δοκεῖ καὶ ὁ ὁπωσοῦν φίλος ἡδύς.
But we must define this still further, for it is debatable whether what is good merely for oneself is dear or what is absolutely good, and whether the actual exercise of affection is accompanied by pleasure, so that an object of affection is also pleasant, or not. Both questions must be brought to the same issue; for things not absolutely good but possibly evil are to be avoided, and also a thing not good for oneself is no concern of oneself, but what is sought for is that things absolutely good shall be good for oneself.
ἔτι δὲ διοριστέον περὶ τούτου μᾶλλον· ἔχει ἐπίστασιν, πότερον γὰρ τὸ αὐτῷ ἀγαθὸν ἢ τὸ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὸν φίλον, καὶ πότερον τὸ κατʼ ἐνέργειαν φιλεῖν μεθʼ ἡδονῆς, ὥστε καὶ τὸ φιλητὸν ἡδύ, ἢ οὔ. ἄμφω γὰρ εἰς ταὐτὸ συνακτέον· τά τε γὰρ μὴ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὰ ἀλλὰ κακὰ ἁπλῶς τύχῃ φευκτά· καὶ τὸ μὴ αὐτῷ ἀγαθὸν οὐθὲν πρὸς αὐτόν, ἀλλὰ τοῦτʼ ἐστιν ὃ ζητεῖται, τὰ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὰ οὕτως εἶναι ἀγαθά.
For the absolutely good is absolutely desirable, but what is good for oneself is desirable for oneself; and the two ought to come into agreement. This is effected by goodness; and the purpose of political science is to bring it about in cases where it does not yet exist. And one who is a human being is well adapted to this and on the way to it (for by nature things that are absolutely good are good to him),
ἔστι γὰρ αἱρετὸν μὲν τὸ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθόν, αὐτῷ δὲ τὸ αὑτῷ ἀγαθόν· ἃ δεῖ συμφωνῆσαι. καὶ τοῦτο ἡ ἀρετὴ ποιεῖ· καὶ ἡ πολιτικὴ ἐπὶ τούτῳ, ὅπως οἷς μήπω ἐστὶ γένηται. εὐθέτως δὲ καὶ πρὸ ὁδοῦ ἄνθρωπος ὤν (φύσει γὰρ αὐτῷ ἀγαθὰ τὰ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθά), ὁμοίως δὲ καὶ ἀνὴρ ἀντὶ γυναικὸς καὶ εὐφυὴς ἀφυοῦς, διὰ τοῦ ἡδέος δὲ ἡ ὁδός·
and similarly a man rather than a woman and a gifted man rather than a dull one; but the road is through pleasure—it is necessary that fine things shall be pleasant. When there is discord between them, a man is not yet perfectly good; for it is possible for unrestraint to be engendered in him, as unrestraint is caused by discord between the good and the pleasant in the emotions.
ἀνάγκη εἶναι τὰ καλὰ ἡδέα. ὅταν δὲ τοῦτο διαφωνῇ, οὔπω σπουδαῖον τελέως· ἐνδέχεται γὰρ ἐγγενέσθαι ἀκρασίαν· τῷ γὰρ διαφωνεῖν τἀγαθὸν τῷ ἡδεῖ ἐν τοῖς πάθεσιν ἀκρασία ἐστίν.
Therefore since the primary sort of friendship is in accordance with goodness, friends of this sort will be absolutely good in themselves also, and this not because of being useful, but in another manner.
ὥστʼ ἐπειδὴ ἡ πρώτη φιλία κατʼ ἀρετήν, ἔσονται καὶ αὐτοὶ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθοί. τοῦτο δʼ οὐχ ὅτι χρήσιμοι, ἀλλʼ ἄλλον τρόπον· διχῶς γὰρ ἔχει τὸ τῳδὶ ἀγαθὸν καὶ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθόν.
For good for a given person and good absolutely are twofold; and the same is the case with states of character as with profitableness—what is profitable absolutely and what is profitable for given persons are different things (just as taking exercise is a different thing from taking drugs). So the state of character called human goodness is of two kinds—
καὶ ὁμοίως ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τοῦ ὠφελίμου, καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν ἕξεων. ἄλλο γὰρ τὸ ἁπλῶς ὠφέλιμον καὶ τὸ καλὸν τοιοῦτον γυμνάζεσθαι πρὸς τὸ φαρμακεύεσθαι. ὥστε καὶ ἡ ἕξις ἡ ἀνθρώπου ἀρετή. ἔστω γὰρ ὁ ἄνθρωπος τῶν φύσει σπουδαίων·
for let us assume that man is one of the things that are excellent by nature: consequently the goodness of a thing excellent by nature is good absolutely, but that of a thing not excellent by nature is only good for that thing.
ἡ γὰρ τοῦ φύσει σπουδαίου ἀρετὴ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθόν, ἡ δὲ τοῦ μὴ ἐκείνῳ. ὁμοίως δὴ ἔχει καὶ τὸ ἡδύ.
The case of the pleasant also, therefore, is similar. For here we must pause and consider whether there is any friendship without pleasure, and how such a friendship differs from other friendship, and on which exactly of the two things the affection depends—do we love a man because he is good even if he is not pleasant, but not because he is pleasant? Then, affection having two meanings, does actual affection seem to involve pleasure because activity is good?
ἐνταῦθα γὰρ ἐπιστατέον, καὶ σκεπτέον πότερόν ἐστιν ἄνευ ἡδονῆς φιλία, καὶ τί διαφέρει, καὶ ἐν ποτέρῳ ποτʼ ἐστὶ τὸ φιλεῖν, [καὶ] πότερον ὅτι ἀγαθός, κἂν εἰ μὴ ἡδύς, ἀλλʼ οὐ διὰ τοῦτο, διχῶς δὴ λεγομένου τοῦ φιλεῖν, πότερον ὅτι ἀγαθὸν τὸ κατʼ ἐνέργειαν οὐκ ἄνευ ἡδονῆς φαίνεται. δῆλον δʼ ὅτι ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τῆς ἐπιστήμης αἱ πρόσφατοι θεωρίαι καὶ μαθήσεις αἰσθηταὶ μάλιστα τῷ ἡδεῖ, οὕτω καὶ αἱ τῶν συνήθων ἀναγνωρίσεις, καὶ ὁ λόγος ὁ αὐτὸς ἐπʼ ἀμφοῖν.
It is clear that as in science recent studies and acquirements are most fully apprehended, because of their pleasantness, so with the recognition of familiar things, and the principle is the same in both cases. By nature at all events the absolutely good is absolutely pleasant, and the relatively good is pleasant to those for whom it is good.
φύσει γοῦν τὸ ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὸν ἡδὺ ἁπλῶς, καὶ οἷς ἀγαθόν, τούτοις ἡδύ. διὸ εὐθὺς τὰ ὅμοια ἀλλήλοις χαίρει, καὶ ἀνθρώπῳ ἥδιστον ἄνθρωπος. ὥστʼ ἐπεὶ καὶ ἀτελεῖ, δῆλον ὅτι καὶ τελειωθέντι·
Hence ipso facto like takes pleasure in like, and man is the thing most pleasant to man; so that as this is so even with imperfect things, it is clearly so with things when perfected, and a good man is a perfect man. And if active affection is the reciprocal choice, accompanied by pleasure, of one another’s acquaintance, it is clear that friendship of the primary kind is in general the reciprocal choice of things absolutely good and pleasant because they are good and pleasant;
ὁ δὲ σπουδαῖος τέλειος. εἰ δὲ τὸ κατʼ ἐνέργειαν φιλεῖν μεθʼ ἡδονῆς ἀντιπροαίρεσις τῆς ἀλλήλων γνωρίσεως, δῆλον ὅτι καὶ ὅλως ἡ φιλία ἡ πρώτη ἀντιπροαίρεσις τῶν ἁπλῶς ἀγαθῶν καὶ ἡδέων, ὅτι ἀγαθὰ καὶ ἡδέα. ἔστι δʼ αὕτη ἡ φιλία ἕξις ἀφʼ ἧς ἡ τοιαύτη προαίρεσις. τὸ γὰρ ἔργον αὐτῆς ἐνέργεια, αὕτη δʼ οὐκ ἔξω, ἀλλʼ ἐν αὐτῷ τῷ φιλοῦντι, δυνάμεως δὲ πάσης ἔξω·
and friendship itself is a state from which such choice arises. For its function is an activity, but this not external but within the lover himself; whereas the function of every faculty is external, for it is either in another or in oneself qua other.
ἢ γὰρ ἐν ἑτέρῳ ἢ ⟨ᾗ⟩ ἕτερον. διὸ τὸ φιλεῖν χαίρειν, ἀλλʼ οὐ τὸ φιλεῖσθαι ἐστίν. τὸ μὲν γὰρ φιλεῖσθαι φιλητοῦ ἐνέργεια, τὸ δὲ καὶ φιλίας, καὶ τὸ μὲν ἐν ἐμψύχῳ, τὸ δὲ καὶ ἐν ἀψύχῳ·
Hence to love is to feel pleasure but to be loved is not; for being loved is not an activity of the thing loved, whereas loving is an activity—the activity of friendship; and loving occurs only in an animate thing, whereas being loved occurs with an inanimate thing also, for even inanimate things are loved.
φιλεῖται γὰρ καὶ τὰ ἄψυχα. ἐπεὶ δὲ τὸ φιλεῖν τὸ κατʼ ἐνέργειαν τὸ φιλούμενον [ὅ] ἐστὶ χρῆσθαι ᾗ φιλούμενον, ὁ δὲ φίλος φιλούμενον τῷ φίλῳ ᾗ φίλος, ἀλλὰ μὴ ᾗ μουσικὸς ἢ ᾗ ἰατρικός·
And since to love actively is to treat the loved object qua loved, and the friend is an object of love to the friend qua dear to him but not qua musician or medical man, the pleasure of friendship is the pleasure derived from the person himself qua himself; for the friend loves him as himself, not because he is something else. Consequently if he does not take pleasure in him qua good, it is not the primary friendship.
ἡδονὴ τοίνυν ἡ ἀπʼ αὐτοῦ, ᾗ αὐτός, αὕτη φιλική. αὐτὸν γὰρ φιλεῖ, οὐχ ὅτι ἄλλος. ὥστʼ ἂν μὴ χαίρῃ ᾗ ἀγαθός, οὐχ ἡ πρώτη φιλία. οὐδὲ δεῖ ἐμποδίζειν οὐθὲν τῶν συμβεβηκότων μᾶλλον ἢ τὸ ἀγαθὸν εὐφραίνειν. τί γὰρ σφόδρα δυσώδης λείπεται; ἀγαπᾶται γὰρ τῷ εὐνοεῖν, συζῇ δὲ μή.
Nor ought any accidental quality to cause more hindrance than the friend’s goodness causes delight; for surely, if a person is very evil-smelling, people cut him—he must be content with our goodwill, he must not expect our society! This then is the primary friendship, which all people recognize.
αὕτη μὲν οὖν ἡ πρώτη φιλία, ἣν πάντες ὁμολογοῦσιν· αἱ δʼ ἄλλαι διʼ αὐτὴν καὶ δοκοῦσι καὶ ἀμφισβητοῦνται. βέβαιον γάρ τι δοκεῖ ἡ φιλία· μόνη δʼ αὕτη βέβαιος.
It is on account of it that the other sorts are considered to be friendship, and also that their claim is disputed—for friendship seems to be some thing stable, and only this friendship is stable; for a formed judgement is stable, and not doing things quickly or easily makes the judgement right.
τὸ γὰρ κεκριμένον βέβαιον, τὰ δὲ μὴ ταχὺ γινόμενα μηδὲ ῥᾳδίως [οὐ] ποιεῖ τὴν κρίσιν ὀρθήν. οὐκ ἔστι δʼ ἄνευ πίστεως φιλία βέβαιος· ἡ δὲ πίστις οὐκ ἄνευ χρόνου. δεῖ γὰρ πεῖραν λαβεῖν, ὥσπερ λέγει καὶ Θέογνις·
And there is no stable friendship without confidence, and confidence only comes with time; for it is necessary to make trial, as Theognis says:You cannot know the mind of man nor womanBefore have you tried them as you try cattle.Those who become friends without the test of time are not real friends but only wish to be friends; and such a character very readily passes for friendship,
οὐ γὰρ ἂν εἰδείης ἀνδρὸς νόον οὐδὲ γυναικός,πρὶν πειραθείης ὥσπερ ὑποζυγίου.οὐδʼ ἄνευ χρόνου φίλος, ἀλλὰ βούλονται φίλοι, καὶ μάλιστα λανθάνει ἡ τοιαύτη ἕξις ὡς φιλία. ὅταν γὰρ προθύμως ἔχωσι φίλοι εἶναι, διὰ τὸ πάνθʼ ὑπηρετεῖν τὰ φιλικὰ ἀλλήλοις, οἴονται οὐ βούλεσθαι φίλοι, ἀλλʼ εἶναι φίλοι.
because when eager to be friends they think that by rendering each other all friendly services they do not merely wish to be friends but actually are friends. But as a matter of fact it happens in friendship as in everything else; people are not healthy merely if they wish to be healthy, so that even if people wish to be friends they are not actually friends already.
τὸ δʼ ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τῶν ἄλλων συμβαίνει καὶ ἐπὶ τῆς φιλίας· οὐ γὰρ εἰ βούλονται ὑγιαίνειν, ὑγιαίνουσιν, ὥστʼ οὐδʼ εἰ φίλοι βούλονται, ἤδη καὶ φίλοι εἰσίν. σημεῖον δέ· εὐδιάβλητοι γὰρ οἱ διακείμενοι ἄνευ πείρας τοῦτον τὸν τρόπον·
A proof of this is that people who have come into this position without first testing one another are easily set at variance; for though men are not set at variance easily about things in which they have allowed each other to test them, in cases where they have not, whenever those who are attempting to set then, at variance produce evidence they may be convinced.
περὶ ὧν μὲν γὰρ πεῖραν δεδώκασιν ἀλλήλοις, οὐκ εὐδιάβλητοι, περὶ ὧν δὲ μή, πεισθεῖεν ἂν ὅταν σύμβολα λέγωσιν οἱ διαβάλλοντες. ἅμα δὲ φανερὸν ὅτι οὐδʼ ἐν τοῖς φαύλοις αὕτη ἡ φιλία· ἄπιστος γὰρ ὁ φαῦλος καὶ κακοήθης πρὸς πάντας· αὑτῷ γὰρ μετρεῖ τοὺς ἄλλους.
At the same time it is manifest that this friendship does not occur between base people either; for the base and evil-natured man is distrustful towards everybody, because he measures other people by himself. Hence good men are more easily cheated, unless as a result of trial they are distrustful.
διὸ εὐεξαπατητότεροί εἰσιν οἱ ἀγαθοί, ἂν μὴ διὰ πεῖραν ἀπιστῶσιν. οἱ δὲ φαῦλοι αἱροῦνται τὰ φύσει ἀγαθὰ ἀντὶ τοῦ φίλου, καὶ οὐθεὶς φιλεῖ μᾶλλον ἄνθρωπον ἢ πράγματα. ὥστʼ οὐ φίλοι.
But the base prefer the goods of nature to a friend, and none of them love people more than things; and so they are not friends, for the proverbial “common property as between friends” is not realized in this way—the friend is made an appendage of the things, not the things of the friends.
οὐ γὰρ γίνεται οὕτω κοινὰ τὰ φίλων· προσνέμεται γὰρ ὁ φίλος τοῖς πράγμασιν, οὐ τὰ πράγματα τοῖς φίλοις. οὐ γίνεται ἄρʼ ἡ φιλία ἡ πρώτη ἐν πολλοῖς, ὅτι χαλεπὸν πολλῶν πεῖραν λαβεῖν· ἑκάστῳ γὰρ ἂν ἔδει συζῆσαι.
Therefore the first kind of friendship does not occur between many men, because it is difficult to test many—one would have to go and live with each of them. Nor indeed should one exercise choice in the case of a friend in the same way as about a coat;
οὐδὲ δὴ αἱρετέον ὁμοίως περὶ ἱματίου καὶ φίλου· καίτοι ἐν πᾶσι δοκεῖ τοῦ νοῦν ἔχοντος δυοῖν τὸ βέλτιον αἱρεῖσθαι, καὶ εἰ μὲν τῷ χείρονι πάλαι ἐχρῆτο, τῷ βελτίονι δὲ μηδέπω, τοῦθʼ αἱρετέον, ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἀντὶ τοῦ πάλαι φίλου τὸν ἀγνῶτα εἰ βελτίων·
although in all matters it seems the mark of a sensible man to choose the better of two things, and if he had been wearing his worse coat for a long time and had not yet worn his better one, the better one ought to be chosen—but you ought not in place of an old friend to choose one whom you do not know to be a better man. For a friend is not to be had without trial and is not a matter of a single day, but time is needed; hence the “peck of salt” has come to be proverbial.
οὐ γάρ ἐστιν ἄνευ πείρας οὐδὲ μιᾶς ἡμέρας ὁ φίλος, ἀλλὰ χρόνου δεῖ. διὸ εἰς παροιμίαν ἐλήλυθεν ὁ μέδιμνος τῶν ἁλῶν· ἅμα δὲ δεῖ μὴ μόνον ἁπλῶς ἀγαθὸν εἶναι, ἀλλὰ καὶ σοί, εἰ δὴ φίλος ἔσται σοὶ φίλος.
At the same time if a friend is really to be your friend he must be not only good absolutely but also good to you; for a man is good absolutely by being good, but he is a friend by being good to another, and he is both good absolutely and a friend when both these attributes harmonize together, so that what is good absolutely is also good for another person; or also he may be not good absolutely yet good to another because useful.
ἀγαθὸς μὲν γὰρ ἁπλῶς ἐστι τῷ ἀγαθὸς εἶναι, φίλος δὲ τῷ ἄλλῳ ἀγαθός, ἁπλῶς ⟨δʼ⟩ ἀγαθὸς καὶ φίλος, ὅταν συμφωνήσῃ ταῦτʼ ἄμφω, ὥστε ὅ ἐστιν ἁπλῶς ἀγαθόν, τὸ τούτου ἄλλῳ, εἰ καὶ μὴ ἁπλῶς μὲν σπουδαίῳ, ἄλλῳ δʼ ἀγαθός, ὅτι χρήσιμος. τὸ δὲ πολλοῖς ἅμα εἶναι φίλον καὶ τὸ φιλεῖν κωλύει· οὐ γὰρ οἷόν τε ἅμα πρὸς πολλοὺς ἐνεργεῖν.
But being a friend of many people at once is prevented even by the factor of affection, for it is not possible for affection to be active in relation to many at once.
ἐκ δὴ τούτων φανερὸν ὅτι ὀρθῶς λέγεται ὅτι ἡ φιλία τῶν βεβαίων, ὥσπερ ἡ εὐδαιμονία τῶν αὐτάρκων. καὶ ὀρθῶς εἴρηταιἡ γὰρ φύσις βέβαιον, οὐ τὰ χρήματα.
These things, therefore, show the correctness of the saying that friendship is a thing to be relied on, just as happiness is a thing that is self-sufficing. And it has been rightly said: “Nature is permanent, but wealth is not—” although it would be much finer to say “Friendship” than “Nature.”
πολὺ δὲ κάλλιον εἰπεῖν ὅτι ἡ ἀρετὴ τῆς φύσεως, καὶ ὅτι χρόνος λέγεται δεικνύναι τὸν φιλούμενον, καὶ αἱ ἀτυχίαι μᾶλλον τῶν εὐτυχιῶν.
And it is proverbial that time shows a friend, and also misfortunes more than good fortune. For then the truth of the saying “friends’ possessions are common property” is clear for only friends, instead of the natural goods and natural evils on which good and bad fortune turn, choose a human being rather than the presence of the former and the absence of the latter;
τότε γὰρ δῆλον ὅτι κοινὰ ⟨τὰ⟩ τῶν φίλων (οὗτοι γὰρ μόνοι ἀντὶ τῶν φύσει ἀγαθῶν καὶ φύσει κακῶν, περὶ ἃ αἱ εὐτυχίαι καὶ αἱ δυστυχίαι, αἱροῦνται μᾶλλον ἄνθρωπον ἢ τούτων τὰ μὲν εἶναι τὰ δὲ μὴ εἶναι)· ἡ δʼ ἀτυχία δηλοῖ τοὺς μὴ ὄντως ὄντας φίλους, ἀλλὰ διὰ τὸ χρήσιμον τυχόντας.
and misfortune shows those who are not friends really but only because of some casual utility. And both are shown by time; for even the useful friend is not shown quickly, but rather the pleasant one—except that one who is absolutely pleasant is also not quick to show himself. For men are like wines and foods; the sweetness of those is quickly evident, but when lasting longer it is unpleasant and not sweet, and similarly in the case of men. For absolute pleasantness is a thing to be defined by the End it effects and the time it lasts.
ὁ δὲ χρόνος δηλοῖ ἀμφοτέρους· οὐδὲ γὰρ ὁ χρήσιμος ταχὺ δῆλος, ἀλλʼ ὁ ἡδὺς μᾶλλον. πλὴν οὐδʼ ὁ ἁπλῶς ἡδὺς ταχύ. ὅμοιοι γὰρ οἱ ἄνθρωποι τοῖς οἴνοις καὶ ἐδέσμασιν· ἐκείνων τε γὰρ τὸ μὲν ἡδὺ ταχὺ δηλοῖ, πλείω δὲ χρόνον γινόμενον ἀηδὲς καὶ οὐ γλυκύ, καὶ ἐπὶ τῶν ἀνθρώπων ὁμοίως. ἔστι γὰρ καὶ τὸ ἁπλῶς ἡδὺ τῷ τέλει ὁριστέον καὶ τῷ χρόνῳ.
And even the multitude would agree, not in consequence of results only, but in the same way as in the case of a drink they call it sweeter—for a drink fails to be pleasant not because of its result, but because its pleasantness is not continuous, although at first it quite takes one in.
ὁμολογήσαιεν δʼ ἂν καὶ οἱ πολλοί, ὅτι ἐκ τῶν ἀποβαινόντων μόνον, ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ ἐπὶ τοῦ πόματος καλοῦσι γλύκιον· τοῦτο γὰρ διὰ τὸ ἀποβαῖνον οὐχ ἡδύ, ἀλλὰ διὰ τὸ μὴ συνεχές, ἀλλὰ τὸ πρῶτον ἐξαπατᾷ.
The primary form of friendship therefore, and the one that causes the name to be given to the others, is friendship based on goodness and due to the pleasure of goodness, as has been said before. The other friendships occur even among children and animals and wicked people: whence the sayings— "Two of an age each other gladden" and "Pleasure welds the bad man to the bad."
ἡ μὲν οὖν πρώτη φιλία, καὶ διʼ ἣν αἱ ἄλλαι λέγονται, ἡ κατʼ ἀρετὴν ἐστί, καὶ διʼ ἡδονὴν τὴν ἀρετῆς, ὥσπερ εἴρηται πρότερον· αἱ δʼ ἄλλαι ἐγγίνονται φιλίαι καὶ ἐν παισὶ καὶ θηρίοις καὶ τοῖς φαύλοις. ὅθεν λέγεται, ἥλιξ ἥλικα τέρπει καὶκακὸς κακῷ ⟨δὲ⟩ συντέτηκεν ἡδονῇ.
And also the bad may be pleasant to each other not as being bad or neutral, but if for instance both are musicians or one fond of music and the other a musician, and in the way in which all men have some good in them and so fit in with one another.
ἐνδέχεται γὰρ καὶ ἡδεῖς ἀλλήλοις εἶναι τοὺς φαύλους, οὐχ ᾗ φαῦλοι ἢ μηδέτεροι, ἀλλʼ οἷον ᾠδικοὶ ἄμφω, ἢ ὃ μὲν φιλῳδὸς ὁ δʼ ᾠδικὸς ἐστίν, καὶ ᾗ πάντες ἔχουσιν ἀγαθὸν καὶ ταύτῃ συναρμόττουσιν ἀλλήλοις·
Further they might be mutually useful and beneficial (not absolutely but for their purpose) not as being bad or neutral.
ἔτι χρήσιμοι ἂν εἶεν ἀλλήλοις καὶ ὠφέλιμοι, οὐχ ἁπλῶς ἀλλὰ πρὸς τὴν προαίρεσιν, ἢ ⟨ᾗ⟩ οὐδέτεροι.
It is also possible for a bad man to be friends with a good man, for the bad man may be useful to the good man for his purpose at the time-and the good man to the uncontrolled man for his purpose at the time and to the bad man for the purpose natural to him; and he will wish his friend what is good—wish absolutely things absolutely good, and under a given condition things good for him, as poverty or disease may be beneficial: things good for him he will wish for the sake of the absolute goods, in the way in which he wishes his friend to drink medicine—he does not wish the action in itself but wishes it for the given purpose.
ἐνδέχεται δὲ καὶ τὸν ἐπιεικῆ φαύλῳ εἶναι φίλον. καὶ γὰρ χρήσιμος ἂν εἴη πρὸς τὴν προαίρεσιν, ὁ μὲν φαῦλος πρὸς τὴν ὑπάρχουσαν τῷ σπουδαίῳ, ὃ δὲ τῷ μὲν ἀκρατεῖ πρὸς τὴν ὑπάρχουσαν, τῷ δὲ φαύλῳ πρὸς τὴν κατὰ φύσιν· καὶ βουλήσεται τὰ ἀγαθά, ἁπλῶς μὲν τὰ ἁπλῶς, τὰ δʼ ἐκείνῳ ἐξ ὑποθέσεως, ᾗ πενία συμφέρει ἢ νόσος, ⟨καὶ⟩ ταῦτα τῶν ἁπλῶς ἀγαθῶν ἕνεκα, ὥσπερ καὶ αὐτὸ τὸ φάρμακον πιεῖν·
Moreover a bad man may also be friends with a good one in the ways in which men not good may be friends with one another: he may be pleasant to him not as being bad but as sharing some common characteristic, for instance if he is musical. Again they may be friends in the way in which there is some good in everybody (owing to which some men are sociable even though good), or in the way in which they suit each particular person, for all men have something of good.
οὐ γὰρ βούλεται, ἀλλὰ τοῦδʼ ἕνεκα βούλεται. ἔτι καθʼ οὓς τρόπους καὶ ἀλλήλοις οἱ μὴ σπουδαῖοι εἶεν ἂν φίλοι. εἴη γὰρ ἂν ἡδὺς οὐχ ᾗ φαῦλος, ἀλλʼ ᾗ τῶν κοινῶν τινος μετέχει, οἷον εἰ μουσικός. ἔτι ᾗ ἔνι τι πᾶσιν ἐπιεικές· διὸ ἔνιοι ὁμιλητικοὶ εἶεν ἂν καὶ σπουδαίῳ. ἢ ᾗ προσαρμόττουσιν ἑκάστῳ· ἔχουσι γάρ τι πάντες τοῦ ἀγαθοῦ.