And Megasthenes, in the second book of his Indian History, says—“Among the Indians at a banquet a table is set before each individual; and it is like a sideboard or beaufet; and on the table is placed a golden dish, in which they throw first of all boiled rice, just as if a person were going to boil groats, and then they add many sorts of meat dressed after the Indian fashion.” But the Germans, as Posidonius relates in his thirtieth book, eat for dinner meat roasted in separate joins; and they drink milk and unmixed wine. And some of the tribes of the Campanians practise single combat at their drinking parties. But Nicolaus of Damascus, one of the philosophers of the Peripatetic school, in the hundred-and-tenth book of his His- tory, relates that the Romans at their feasts practise single combats, writing as follows—“The Romans used to exhibit spectacles of single combats, not only in their public shows and in their theatres, having derived the custom from the Etruscans, but they did so also at their banquets. Accordingly, people often invited their friends to an entertainment, promising them, in addition to other things, that they should see two or three pairs of single combatants. And when they had had enough of meat and drink, they then called in the combatants: and as soon as one of them was killed, the guests clapped, being delighted at the exhibition. And in one instance a man left it in his will that some beautiful women, whom he had purchased as slaves, should engage in single combat: and in another case a man desired that some youthful boys whom he had loved should do so; but the people would not tolerate such notorious proceedings, and declared the will invalid.” And Eratosthenes says, in the first book of his Catalogue of the Victors at Olympia, that the Etruscans used to box to the music of the flute.
Μεγασθένης δ’ ἐν τῇ δευτέρᾳ τῶν Ἰνδικῶν τοῖς Ἰνδοῖς φησιν ἐν τῷ δείπνῳ παρατίθεσθαι ἑκάστῳ τράπεζαν, ταύτην δ’ εἶναι ὁμοίαν ταῖς ἐγγυθήκαις, καὶ ἐπιτίθεσθαι ἐπ’ αὐτῇ τρυβλίον χρυσοῦν, εἰς ὃ ἐμβάλλειν αὐτοὺς πρῶτον μὲν τὴν ὄρυζαν ἑφθὴν ὡς ἄν τις ἑψήσειε χόνδρον, ἔπειτα ὄψα πολλὰ κεχειρουργημένα ταῖς Ἰνδικαῖς σκευασίαις. Γερμανοὶ δέ, ὡς ἱστορεῖ Ποσειδώνιος ἐν τῇ τριακοστῇ, ἄριστον προσφέρονται κρέα μεληδὸν ὠπτημένα καὶ ἐπιπίνουσι γάλα καὶ τὸν οἶνον ἄκρατον. Καμπανῶν δέ τινες παρὰ τὰ συμπόσια μονομαχοῦσι. Νικόλαος δ’ ὁ Δαμασκηνός, εἷς τῶν ἀπὸ τοῦ περιπάτου φιλοσόφων, ἐν τῇ δεκάτῃ πρὸς ταῖς ἑκατὸν τῶν ἱστοριῶν Ῥωμαίους ἱστορεῖ παρὰ τὸ δεῖπνον συμβάλλειν μονομαχίας, γράφων οὕτως· τὰς τῶν μονομάχων θέας οὐ μόνον ἐν πανηγύρεσι καὶ θεάτροις ἐποιοῦντο Ῥωμαῖοι, παρὰ Τυρρηνῶν παραλαβόντες τὸ ἔθος, ἀλλὰ κἀν ταῖς ἑστιάσεσιν. ἐκάλουν γοῦν τινες πολλάκις ἐπὶ δεῖπνον τοὺς φίλους ἐπί τε ἄλλοις καὶ ὅπως ἂν δύο ἢ τρία ζεύγη ἴδοιεν μονομάχων, ὅτε καὶ κορεσθέντες δείπνου καὶ μέθης εἰσεκάλουν τοὺς μονομάχους, καὶ ὁ μὲν ἅμα ἐσφάττετο, αὐτοὶ δ’ ἐκρότουν ἐπὶ τούτῳ ἡδόμενοι. ἤδη δέ τις κἀν ταῖς διαθήκαις γέγραφεν γυναῖκας εὐπρεπεστάτας μονομαχῆσαι ἃς ἐκέκτητο, ἕτερος δὲ παῖδας ἀνήβους ἐρωμένους ἑαυτοῦ, ἀλλὰ γὰρ οὐκ ἠνέσχετο ὁ δῆμος τὴν παρανομίαν ταύτην, ἀλλ’ ἄκυρον τὴν διαθήκην ἐποίησεν. Ἐρατοσθένης δ’ ἐν πρώτῳ Ὀλυμπιονικῶν τοὺς Τυρρηνούς φησι πρὸς αὐλὸν πυκτεύειν.
But Posidonius, in the third, and also in the twentieth book of his Histories, says—“The Celtæ sometimes have single combats at their entertainments. For being collected in arms, they go through the exercise, and make feints at, and sometimes they even go so far as to wound one another. And being irritated by this, if the bystanders do not stop them, they will proceed even to kill one another. But in olden times,” he continues, “there was a custom that a hind quarter of pork was put on the table, and the bravest man took it; and if any one else laid claim to it, then the two rose up to fight till one of them was slain. And other men in the theatre having received some silver or gold money, and some even for a number of earthen vessels full of wine, having taken pledges that the gifts promised shall really be given, and having distributed them among their nearest connexions, have laid themselves down on doors with their faces upwards, and then allowed some bystander to cut their throats with a sword.” And Euphorion the Chalcidian, in his Historical Memorials, writes as follows—“But among the Romans it is common for five mine to be offered to any one who chooses to take it, to allow his head to be cut off with an axe, so that his heirs might receive the reward: and very often many have returned their names as willing, so that there has been a regular contest between them as to who had the best right to be beaten to death.”
Ποσειδώνιος δ’ ἐν τρίτῃ καὶ εἰκοστῇ τῶν ἱστοριῶν Κελτοί, φησίν, ἐνίοτε παρὰ τὸ δεῖπνον μονομαχοῦσιν. ἐν γάρ τοῖς ὅπλοις ἀγερθέντες σκιαμαχοῦσι καὶ πρὸς ἀλλήλους ἀκροχειρίζονται, ποτὲ δὲ καὶ μέχρι τραύματος προίασιν καὶ ἐκ τούτου ἐρεθισθέντες, ἐὰν μὴ ἐπισχῶσιν οἱ παρόντες, καὶ ἕως ἀναιρέσεως ἔρχονται, τὸ δὲ παλαιόν, φησίν, ὅτι παρατεθέντων κωλήνων τὸ μηρίον ὁ κράτιστος ἐλάμβανεν εἰ δέ τις ἕτερος ἀντιποιήσαιτο, συνίσταντο μονομαχήσοντες μέχρι θανάτου, ἄλλοι δ’ ἐν θεάτρῳ λαβόντες ἀργύριον ἢ χρυσίον, οἱ δὲ οἴνου κεραμίων ἀριθμόν τινα, καὶ πιστωσάμενοι τὴν δόσιν καὶ τοῖς ἀναγκαίοις φίλοις διαδωρησάμενοι ὕπτιοι ἐκταθέντες ἐπὶ θυρεῶν κεῖνται, καὶ παραστάς τις ξίφει τὸν λαιμὸν ἀποκόπτει Εὐφορίων δ’ ὁ Χαλκιδεὺς ἐν ἱστορικοῖς ὑπομνήμασιν οὕτω γράφει· παρὰ δὲ τοῖς Ῥωμαίοις προτίθεσθαι πέντε μνᾶς τοῖς ὑπομένειν βουλομένοις τὴν κεφαλὴν ἀποκοπῆναι πελέκει, ὥστε τοὺς κληρονόμους κομίσασθαι τὸ ἆθλον· καὶ πολλάκις ἀπογραφομένους πλείους δικαιολογεῖσθαι καθ’ ὃ δικαιότατός ἐστιν ἕκαστος αὐτῶν ἀποτυμπανισθῆναι.
And Hermippus, in the first book of his treatise on Lawgivers, asserts that the Mantineans were the original inventors of men to fight in single combat, and that Demonax, one of their citizens, was the original suggestor of such a course; and that the Cyreneans were the next to follow their example. And Ephorus, in the sixth book of his History, says —"The Mantineans and Arcadians were in the habit of practising warlike exercises; and even to this day they call the military dress and the ancient fashion of arming the Mantinean, as having been invented by that people. And in addition to this, the exercises of single combat were first invented in Mantinea, Demeas being the original author of the invention. And that the custom of single combatants was an ancient one, Aristophanes shows, when he speaks thus in his Phœnisse—And on the heroes twain, the sons of Œdipus,Has savage Mars descended; and they nowSeek the arena dread of single combat.And the word μονόμαχος appears not to be derived from the noun μάχη, but rather from the verb μάχεσθαι. For as often as a word compounded of μάχη ends in ος, as in the words σύμμαχος, πρωτόμαχος, ἐπίμαχος, ἀντίμαχος, and the φιλόμαχος race of Perseus, spoken of by Pindar, then it is acuted on the antepenultima; but when it has the acute accent on the penultima, then the verb μάχεσθαι comes in; as is shown in the words πυγμάχος, ναυμάχος; in the expression αὐτόν σε πυλαμάχε πρῶτον, in Stesichorus; and the noun ὁπλομάχος, τειχομάχος, πυργομάχος. But Posidippus the comic writer, in his Pornoboscus, says—The man who never went to sea has never shipwreck 'd been,But we have been more miserable than μονομαχοῦντες (gladiators in single combat).And that even men of reputation and captains fought in single combat, and did so in accordance with premeditated challenges, we have already said in other parts of this discussion. And Diyllus the Athenian says, in the ninth book of his Histories, that Cassander, when returning from Bœotia, after he had buried the king and queen at Aegæ, and with them Cynna the mother of Eurydice, and had paid them all the other honours to which they were entitled, celebrated also a show of single combats, and four of the soldiers entered the arena on that occasion.
Ἕρμιππος ᾽ ἐν α περὶ νομοθετῶν τῶν μονομαχούντων εὑρετὰς ἀποφαίνει Μαντινεῖς Δημώνακτος ἑνὸς τῶν πολιτῶν συμβουλεύσαντος, καὶ ζηλωτὰς τούτων γενέσθαι Κυρηναίους. Ἔφορος δ’ ἐν ἕκτῃ ἱστοριῶν ἤσκουν, φησί, τὰ πολεμικὰ οἱ Μαντινεῖς καὶ Ἀρκάδες, τήν τε στολὴν τὴν πολεμικὴν καὶ τὴν ὅπλισιν τὴν ἀρχαίαν ὡς εὑρόντων ἐκείνων ἔτι καὶ νῦν Μαντινικὴν ἀποκαλοῦσι. πρὸς δὲ τούτοις καὶ ὁπλομαχίας μαθήσεις ἐν Μαντινείᾳ πρῶτον εὑρέθησαν Δημέου τὸ τέχνημα καταδείξαντος. ὅτι δὲ ἀρχαῖον ἦν τὸ περὶ τοὺς μονομάχους καὶ Ἀριστοφάνης εἴρηκεν ἐν Φοινίσσαις οὕτως· ἐς Οἰδίπου δὲ παῖδε, διπτύχω κόρω, Ἄρης κατέσκηψ᾽, ἔς τε μονομάχου πάλης ἀγῶνα νῦν ἑστᾶσιν. ἔοικεν δὲ πεποιῆσθαι τὸ ὄνομα οὐκ ἐκ τοῦ μάχη, ἀλλ’ ἐκ ῥήματος τοῦ μάχεσθαι μᾶλλον συγκεῖσθαι. ὁπότε γὰρ τὸ μάχη συντιθέμενον τὸ τέλος εἰς ος τρέπει, ὡς ἐν τῷ σύμμαχος, πρωτόμαχος, ἐπίμαχος, ἀντίμαχος, φιλόμαχον γένος ἐκ Περσέος παρὰ Πινδάρῳ, τηνικαῦτα προπαροξύνεται· ὁπότε δὲ παροξύνεται, τὸ μάχεσθαι ῥῆμα περιέχει, ὡς ἐν τῷ πυγμάχος, ναυμάχος, αὐτόν σε πυλαμάχε πρῶτον παρὰ Στησιχόρῳ, ὁπλομάχος, τειχομάχος, πυργομάχος. ὁ δὲ κωμῳδιοποιὸς Ποσείδιππος ἐν Πορνοβοσκῷ φησιν ὁ μὴ πεπλευκὼς οὐδὲν ἑόρακεν κακὸν τῶν μονομαχούντων ἐσμὲν ἀθλιώτεροι. ὅτι δὲ καὶ οἱ ἔνδοξοι καὶ οἱ ἡγεμόνες ἐμονομάχουν καὶ ἐκ προκλήσεως τοῦτ’ ἐποίουν ἐν ἄλλοις εἰρήκαμεν. Δίυλλος δ’ ὁ Ἀθηναῖος ἐν τῇ ἐνάτῃ τῶν ἱστοριῶν φησιν ὡς Κάσανδρος ἐκ Βοιωτίας ἐπανιὼν καὶ θάψας τὸν βασιλέα καὶ τὴν βασίλισσαν ἐν Αἰγαίαις καὶ μετ’ αὐτῶν τὴν Κύνναν τὴν Εὐρυδίκης μητέρα καὶ τοῖς ἄλλοις τιμήσας οἷς προσήκει καὶ μονομαχίας ἀγῶνα ἔθηκεν, εἰς ὃν κατέβησαν τέσσαρες τῶν στρατιωτῶν.
But Demetrius the Scepsian, in the twelfth book of Trojan Array, says, “that at the court of Antiochus the king, who was surnamed the Great, not only did the friends of the king dance in arms at his entertainments, but even the king himself did so. And when the turn to dance came to Hegesianax the Alexandrian from the Troas, who wrote the Histories, he rose up and said—' Do you wish, O king, to see me dance badly, or would you prefer hearing me recite my own poems very well?' Accordingly, being ordered rather to recite his poems, he sang the praises of the king in such a manner, that he was thought worthy of payment, and of being ranked as one of the king's friends for the time to come. But Duris the Samian, in the seventeenth book of his Histories, says that Polysperchon, though a very old man, danced whenever he was drunk,—a man who was inferior to no one of the Macedonians, either as a commander or in respect of his general reputation: but still that he put on a saffron robe and Sicyonian sandals, and kept on dancing a long time.” But Agatharchides the Cnidian, in the eighth book of his History of Asia, relates that the friends of Alexander the son of Philip once gave an entertainment to the king, and gilded all the sweetmeats which were to be served up in the second course. And when they wanted to eat any of them, they took off the gold and threw that away with all the rest which was not good to eat, in order that their friends might be spectators of their sumptuousness, and their servants might become masters of the gold. But they forget that, as Duris also relates, Philip the father of Alexander, when he had a golden cup which was fifty drachmas in weight, always took it to bed with him, and always slept with it at his head. And Seleucus says, “that some of the Thracians at their drinking parties play the game of hanging; and fix a round noose to some high place, exactly beneath which they place a stone which is easily turned round when any one stands upon it; and then they cast lots, and he who draws the lot, holding a sickle in his hand, stands upon the stone, and puts his neck into the halter; and then another person comes and raises the stone, and the man who is suspended, when the stone moves from under him, if he is not quick enough in cutting the rope with his sickle, is killed; and the rest laugh, thinking his death good sport.” This is what I had to say, my friends and messmates, O men far the first of all the Greeks, being what I know concerning the banquets of the ancients. But Plato the philosopher, in the first book of his treatise on the Laws of Banquets, speaks in this manner, describing the whole matter with the greatest accuracy—“And you would never see any where in the country or in the cities which are under the dominion of Lacedæmon, any drinking parties, nor any of their accompaniments, which are calculated to excite as much pleasure as possible. Nor is there any one who would not at once impose as heavy a fine as possible on any one whom he met carrying his revely to the degree of drunkenness; and he would not even excuse him if he had the pretext of the Dionysiac festival of Bacchus. As I have known to be the case among you, in the case of men carried in carriages, and at Tarentum among our own colonists, where I have seen the whole city drunk at the time of the Dionysiac festival. But at Lacedæmon nothing of the sort ever takes place.”
Δημήτριος δ’ ὁ Σκήψιος ἐν τῷ ι ε τοῦ Τρωικοῦ διακόσμου παρὰ Ἀντιόχῳ, φησί, τῷ βασιλεῖ τῷ μεγάλῳ προσαγορευθέντι ἐν τῷ δείπνῳ πρὸς ὅπλα ὠρχοῦντο οὐ μόνον οἱ βασιλέως φίλοι, ἀλλὰ καὶ αὐτὸς ὁ βασιλεύς, ἐπεὶ δὲ καὶ εἰς Ἡγησιάνακτα τὸν Ἀλεξανδρέα ἀπὸ Τρῳάδος τὸν τὰς ἱστορίας γράψαντα ἡ τῆς ὀρχήσεως τάξις ἐγένετο, ἀναστὰς εἶπε· ᾽ πότερον, ὦ βασιλεῦ, κακῶς ὀρχούμενόν ἐμὲ θεάσασθαι βούλει ἢ καλῶς ἀπαγγέλλοντός μου ἴδια ποιήματα θέλεις ἀκροάσασθαι; ᾽ κελευσθεὶς οὖν λέγειν οὕτως ἧσε τὸν βασιλέα ὥστ’ ἐράνου τε ἀξιωθῆναι καὶ τῶν φίλων εἷς γενέσθαι. Δοῦρις δ’ ὁ Σάμιος ἐν τῇ τῶν ἱστοριῶν ι ζ Πολυσπέρχοντά φησιν εἰ μεθυσθείη καίτοι πρεσβύτερον ὄντα ὀρχεῖσθαι, οὐδενὸς Μακεδόνων ὄντα δεύτερον οὔτε κατὰ τὴν στρατηγίαν οὔτε κατὰ τὴν ἀξίωσιν, καὶ ἐνδυόμενον αὐτὸν κροκωτὸν καὶ ὑποδούμενον Σικυώνια διατελεῖν ὀρχούμενον. Ἀγαθαρχίδης δ’ ὁ Κνίδιος ἐν ὀγδόῃ Ἀσιατικῶν ἱστορεῖ ὡς οἱ ἑστιῶντες Ἀλέξανδρον τὸν Φιλίππου τῶν φίλων τὸ μέλλον παρατεθήσεσθαι τῶν τραγημάτων περιεχρύσουν· ὅτε δὲ θέλοιεν ἀναλίσκειν, περιελόντες τὸν χρυσὸν ἅμα τοῖς ἄλλοις ἐξέβαλλον, ἵνα τῆς μὲν πολυτελείας οἱ φίλοι θεαταὶ γίνωνται, οἱ δ’ οἰκέται κύριοι, ἐπιλελησμένοι δ’ ἦσαν οὗτοι, ὡς καὶ Δοῦρις ἱστορεῖ, ὅτι καὶ Φίλιππος ὁ τοῦ Ἀλεξάνδρου πατήρ ποτήριον χρυσοῦν ὁλκὴν ἄγον πεντήκοντα δραχμὰς κεκτημένος τοῦτο ἐλάμβανε κοιμώμενος ἀεὶ καὶ πρὸς κεφαλὴν αὑτοῦ κατετίθετο. Σέλευκος δὲ Θρᾳκῶν φησί τινας ἐν τοῖς συμποσίοις ἀγχόνην παίζειν βρόχον ἀρτήσαντας ἔκ τινος ὕψους, πρὸς ὃν κατὰ κάθετον ὑποτίθεσθαι λίθον εὐπερίτρεπτον τοῖς ἐπιβαίνουσι. διαλαγχάνειν οὖν αὐτοὺς καὶ τὸν λαχόντα ἔχοντα δρεπάνιον ἐπιβαίνειν τῷ λίθῳ καὶ τὸν τράχηλον εἰς τὸν βρόχον ἐντιθέναι· παρερχόμενον δὲ ἄλλον ἐγείρειν τὸν λίθον καὶ ὁ κρεμάμενος ὑποτρέχοντος τοῦ λίθου, ἐὰν μὴ ταχὺ φθάσας ἀποτέμῃ τῷ δρεπάνῳ, τέθνηκε, καὶ οἱ ἄλλοι γελῶσι παιδιὰν ἔχοντες τὸν ἐκείνου θάνατον ταῦτ’ εἰπεῖν εἶχον, ἄνδρες φίλοι καὶ συμπόται τῶν Ἑλλήνων πολὺ. πρῶτοι, περὶ ἀρχαίων συμποσίων ἐπιστάμενος. ἀκριβῶς δ’ ὁ σοφὸς Πλάτων ἐν τῷ πρώτῳ Νόμων περὶ συμποσίων διηγεῖται λέγων οὕτως· καὶ οὔτ’ ἂν ἐπ’ ἀγρῶν ᾽ἴδοις οὔτ’ ἐν ἄστεσιν ὅσων Σπαρτιάταις μέλει συμπόσια οὐδ’ ὁπόσα τούτοις ξυνεπόμενα πάσας ἡδονὰς κινεῖ κατὰ δύναμιν. οὐδ’ ἔστιν ὅστις ἂν ἀπαντῶν κωμάζοντί τινι μετὰ μέθης οὐκ ἂν τὴν μεγίστην δίκην εὐθὺς ἐπιθείη καὶ οὐδ’ ἂν Διονύσια πρόφασιν ἔχοντ’ αὐτὸν ῥύσαιτο, ὥσπερ ἐν ἁμάξαις εἶδον παρ’ ὑμῖν ἐγώ, καὶ ἐν Τάραντι δὲ παρὰ τοῖς ἡμετέροις ἀποίκοις πᾶσαν τὴν πόλιν ἐθεασάμην περὶ τὰ Διονύσια μεθύουσαν. ἐν Λακεδαίμονι οὐκ ἔστ’ οὐδὲν τοιοῦτον.
And Cynulcus said on this,—I only wish that you had played at that Thracian game and been hanged yourself. For you have kept us in suspense till we are almost famished, as if we were waiting for the rising star, till which arises, those who have invented this beautiful philosophy say that it is unlawful to taste of any food at all. But I, wretched man that I am, according, to the words of Diphilus the coming poet—Am almost become a mullet from the extremity of hunger.And you yourselves also have forgotten those admirable verses of the poet, who said—For it is not a bad thing to eat supper at a proper season.And the admirable Aristophanes has said in his Cocalus—But it is now, O father, altogether noon,When it is right for the young men to sup.But for me it would be much better to sup as the men are represented as supping in the banquet given by Parmeniscus the Cynic,—than to come hither and see everything carried round us as if we all had fevers. And when we laughed at this, one of us said,—-But my most excellent fellow, do not grudge giving us the account of that Parmeniscean banquet. And he, raising himself up, said—I swear to you most solemnly, my friends,according to the words of the sweet Antiphanes, who, in the Woman given in Marriage, said—I swear to you, O men, by the god himself,From whom the joys of drunkenness and wineDo come to mortal men, that I preferThis happy life which here is mine at present,To all the splendid pomp of king Seleucus.'Tis sweet to eat e'en lentils without fear,But sad to sleep on down in daily terror.
καὶ ὁ Κύνουλκοςἀλλ’ ὡς ὤφελον, ἔφη, τὴν Θρᾴκιον ταύτην παίξας παιδιὰν διεφθάρης· ἀνέτεινες γὰρ ἡμᾶς ὥσπερ νηστείαν ἄγοντας καὶ περιμένοντας τὸ ἀνατέλλον ἄστρον, οὗ φασι μὴ φανέντος οἱ τὴν χρηστὴν ταύτην φιλοσοφίαν εὑρόντες νόμιμον εἶναι μηδενὸς γεύεσθαι. ἐγὼ δ’ ὁ τάλας κατὰ τὸν κωμῳδιοποιὸν Δίφιλον κεστρεὺς ἂν εἴην ἕνεκα νηστείας ἄκρας. ἐπελάθεσθε δὲ καὶ ὑμεῖς τῶν τοῦ ποιητοῦ καλῶν, ὃς ἔφη· οὐ μὲν γάρ τι χέρειον ἐν ὥρῃ δεῖπνον ἑλέσθαι. καὶ ὁ καλὸς δ’ Ἀριστοφάνης ἐν Κωκάλῳ ἔφη· ἀλλ’ ἐστίν, ὦ πάτερ, κομιδῇ μεσημβρία, ἡνίκα γε τοὺς νεωτέρους δειπνεῖν χρεών. ἐμοί τε πολλῷ ἦν ἄμεινον κατὰ τὸ Παρμενίσκου τῶν κυνικῶν συμπόσιον δειπνεῖν ἢ ἐνθάδε πάντα ὥσπερ τοὺς πυρέσσοντας περιφερόμενα ὁρᾶν.γελασάντων δὲ ἡμῶν ἔφη τις· ἀλλ’ ὦ λῷστε ἀνδρῶν, μὴ φθονήσῃς ἡμίν τὸ Παρμενίσκειον ἐκεῖνο διελθεῖν συμπόσιον. καὶ ὃς μετέωρον αὑτὸν παραναστήσας ἔφη·ὄμνυμι δ’ ὑμῖν, ἄνδρες, κατὰ τὸν ἡδὺν Ἀντιφάνη, ὃς ἐν τῇ Παρεκδιδομένῃ ἔφη· ὄμνυμι δ’ ὑμῖν, ἄνδρες, αὐτὸν τὸν θεόν, ἐξ οὗ τὸ μεθύειν πᾶσιν ἡμῖν γίνεται, ἦ μὴν ἑλέσθαι τοῦτον ἂν ζῆν τὸν βίον ἢ τὴν Σελεύκου τοῦ βασιλέως ὑπεροχήν. ῥοφεῖν φακῆν ἐσθ’ ἡδὺ μὴ δεδοικότα, μαλακῶς καθεύδειν ἄθλιον δεδοικότα.
But Parmeniscus began in this manner—"Parmeniscus to Molpis, greeting,—As I have often in my conversations with you talked about illustrious invitations and entertainments, I am afraid lest you should labour under such a plethora as to blame me; on which account I wish to make you a partaker in the feast which was given by Cebes of Cyzicus. Therefore, having first taken a drink of hyssop, come at the proper hour to the feast. For at the time when the festival of Bacchus was being celebrated at Athens, I went to sup with him; and I found six Cynics sitting at table, and one dogleader, Carneus the Megarian. But, as the supper was delayed, a discussion arose, what water is the sweetest. And while some were praising the water of Lerna, and some that of Pirene, Carneus, imitating Philoxenus, said—That is the best water which is poured over our hands. So then when the tables were laid we went to supper,And much pulse porridge then we ate, but more did still flow in.Then again lentils were brought on the table steeped in vinegar; and that child of Jupiter laid his hands on them and said—Jove, may the man who made these lentils grow,Never escape thy notice or thy memory.And then some one else immediately cried out—May a lentil deity and a lentil fate seize you.But to me may there be, according to the words of the comic poet Diphilus, which he uses in his Peliades—A. A flowery supper very sumptuous,A bowl quite lull of pulse for every man.B. That first part is not flowery.A. After thatLet a saperdes dance into the middle,A little strong to smell.B. That is a flowerWhich soon will drive the thrushes all away.And as a great laugh arose, immediately that spoon of the theatre Melissa came in, and that dogfly Nicium, each of them being a courtesan of no small renown: and so they, looking on what was set upon the table and admiring it, laughed. And Nicium said,—Is not there one of all you men so proud of your beards that eats fish? Is it because your ancestor Meleager the Gadarean, in his poem entitled the Graces, said that Homer, being a Syrian by birth, represented the ancients as abstaining from fish in accordance with the custom of his own country, although there was a great abundance of them in the Hellespont? Or have you ever read that one treatise of his which embraces a comparison between peas and lentilsfor I see that you have made a great preparation of lentils. And when I see it, I should advise you, according to the rules of Antisthenes the pupil of Socrates, to relieve yourselves of life if you stick to such food as this. And Carneus replied to her—Euxitheus the Pythagorean, O Nicium, as Clearchus the Peripatetic tells us, in the second book of his Lives, said that the souls of all men were bound in the body, and in the life which is on earth, for the sake of punishment; and that God has issued an edict that if they do not remain there until he voluntarily releases them himself, they shall fall into more numerous and more important calamities. On which account all me, being afraid of those threatenings of the gods, fear to depart from life by their own act, but only gladly welcome death when he comes in old age, trusting that that deliverance of the soul then takes place with the full consent of those who have the power to sanction it. And this doctrine we ourselves believe. But I have no objection, replied she, to your selecting one of three evils, if you please. For do you not know, O retched men, that these heavy kinds of food shut in the dominant principle of the soul, and do not allow wisdom to exist unimpaired in it? Accordingly Theopompus, in the fifth book of his History of the Actions of Philip, says—“For to eat much, and to eat meat, takes away the reasoning powers, and makes the intel- lect slower, and fills a man with anger, and harshness, and all sorts of folly.” And the admirable Xenophon says, that it is sweet to a hungry man to eat barley-cakes and cardamums, and sweet to a thirsty man to draw water out of the river and drink it. But Socrates was often caught walking in the depth of evening up and down before his house; and to those who asked him what he was doing there, he used to reply that he was getting a relish for supper. But we shall be satisfied with whatever portion we receive from you, and we are not angry as if we received less than we ought, like the Hercules in Anticlides. For he says, in the second book of his Returns—“After Hercules had accomplished his labours, when Eurystheus was solemnizing some sacrificial feast, he also was invited. And when the sons of Eurystheus were setting before each one of the company his proper portion, but placing a meaner one before Hercules, Hercules, thinking that he was being treated with indignity, slew three of the sons, Perimedes, Eurybius, and Eurypylus.” But we are not so irascible, even though in all other points we are imitators of Hercules.
ἀλλ’ ὅ γε Παρμενίσκος οὕτως ὑπήρξατο·Παρμενίσκος Μόλπιδι χαίρειν. πλεονάζων ἐν ταῖς προσφωνήσεσι πρὸς σὲ περὶ τῶν ἐπιφανῶν κλήσεων ἀγωνιῶ μή ποτε εἰς πληθώραν ἐμπεσὼν μεμψιμοιρήσῃς. διὸ καὶ μεταδοῦναί σοι βούλομαι τοῦ παρὰ Κέβητι τῷ Κυζικηνῷ δείπνου· προπιὼν δ’ ὑσώπου τὴν ὤραν ἐπάναγε ἐπὶ τὴν ἑστίασιν. Διονυσίων γὰρ ὄντων Ἀθήνησι παρελήφθην πρὸς αὐτό. κατέλαβον δὲ κυνικοὺς μὲν ἀνακειμένους ἕξ, ἕνα δὲ κύνουλκον Καρνεῖον τὸν Μεγαρικόν. τοῦ δείπνου δὲ χρονίζοντος λόγος ἐγένετο ποῖον τῶν ὑδάτων ἥδιστόν ἐστιν. καὶ τῶν μὲν ἐγκωμιαζόντων τὸ ἀπὸ τῆς Λέρνης, ἄλλων δὲ τὸ ἀπὸ τῆς Πειρήνης, ὁ Καρνεῖος κατὰ Φιλόξενον εἶπε ᾽ τὸ κατὰ χειρῶν καὶ τῆς τραπέζης παρατεθείσης ἐδειπνοῦμεν καὶ τὴν μὲν ἐξηντλοῦμεν φακῆν, ἡ δ’ ἐπεισέρρει. εἶτα πάλιν φακοὶ προσηνέχθησαν ὄξει βεβρεγμένοι, καὶ ὁ Διιτρέφης δραξάμενος ἔφη· Ζεῦ, μὴ λάθοι σε τῶνδ’ ὃς αἴτιος φακῶν καὶ ἄλλος ἑξῆς ἀνεβόησε· φακός σε δαίμων καὶ φακὴ τύχη λάβοι. ἐμοὶ δὲ κατὰ τὸν κωμικὸν Δίφιλον, φησὶν δ’ οὗτος ἐν Πελιάσι· τὸ δειπνάριον ἀνθηρὸν ἦν, γλαφυρὸν σφόδρα· φακῆς κατ’ ἄνδρα τρυβλίον μεστὸν μέγα. β. πρώτιστον οὐκ ἀνθηρόν. α. ἐπὶ ταύτῃ φέρων εἰς τὸ μέσον ἐπεχόρευσε σαπέρδης μέγας ὑπό τι δυσώδης. β. οὗτος ἱερὸς ἀνθίας, ὃς πολλὰ χαίρειν ταῖς κίχλαις ἤδη λέγει.ʼ γέλωτος οὖν ἐπιρραγέντος παρῆν ἡ θεατροτορύνη Μέλισσα καὶ ἡ κυνάμυια Νίκιον αὗται δ’ ἦσαν τῶν οὐκ ἀσήμων ἑταιρίδων. ἀποβλέψασαι οὖν αὗται εἰς τὰ παρακείμενα καὶ θαυμάσασαι ἐγέλων. καὶ ἡ Νίκιον ἔφη· ᾽οὐδεὶς ὑμῶν, ἄνδρες γενειοσυλλεκτάδαι, ἰχθὺν ἐσθίει; ἢ καθάπερ ὁ πρόγονος ὑμῶν Μελέαγρος ὁ Γαδαρεὺς ἐν ταῖς Χάρισιν ἐπιγραφομέναις ἔφη τὸν Ὅμηρον Σύρον ὄντα τὸ γένος κατὰ τὰ πάτρια ἰχθύων ἀπεχομένους ποιῆσαι τοὺς Ἀχαιοὺς δαψιλείας πολλῆς οὔσης κατὰ τὸν Ἑλλήσποντον; ἢ μόνον ἀνέγνωτε συγγραμμάτων αὐτοῦ τὸ περιέχον λεκίθου καὶ φακῆς σύγκρισιν; ὁρῶ γὰρ πολλὴν παρ’ ὑμῖν τῆς φακῆς τὴν σκευὴν εἰς ἣν ἀποβλέπουσα συμβουλεύσαιμ’ ἂν ὑμῖν κατὰ τὸν Σωκρατικὸν Ἀντισθένην ἐξάγειν ἑαυτοὺς τοῦ βίου τοιαῦτα σιτουμένους.᾽ πρὸς ἣν ὁ Καρνεῖος ἔφη· ᾽ Εὐξίθεος ὁ Πυθαγορικός, ὦ Νίκιον, ὥς φησι Κλέαρχος ὁ περιπατητικὸς ἐν δευτέρῳ βίων, ἔλεγεν ἐνδεδέσθαι τῷ σώματι καὶ τῷ δεῦρο βίῳ τὰς ἁπάντων ψυχὰς τιμωρίας χάριν, καὶ διείπασθαι τὸν θεὸν ὡς εἰ μὴ μενοῦσιν ἐπὶ τούτοις ἕως ἂν ἑκὼν αὐτοὺς λύσῃ, πλείοσι καὶ μείζοσιν ἐμπεσοῦνται τότε λύμαις. διὸ πάντας εὐλαβουμένους τὴν τῶν κυρίων ἀνάτασιν φοβεῖσθαι τοῦ ζῆν ἑκόντας ἐκβῆναι μόνον τε τὸν ἐν τῷ γήρᾳ θάνατον ἀσπασίως προσίεσθαι, πεπεισμένους τὴν ἀπόλυσιν τῆς ψυχῆς μετὰ τῆς τῶν κυρίων γίγνεσθαι γνώμης, τούτοις τοῖς δόγμασιν ἡμεῖς πειθόμεθα ᾽ ὑμῖν δὲ φθόνος οὐδὲ εἷς ἑλέσθαι ἕν τι τῶν τριῶν ἔχειν κακῶν, οὐ γάρ ἐπίστασθε, ὦ ταλαίπωροι, ὅτι αἱ βαρεῖαι αὗται τροφαὶ φράττουσι τὸ ἡγεμονικὸν καὶ οὐκ ἐῶσι τὴν φρόνησιν ἐν αὑτῇ εἶναι.` Θεόπομπος οὖν ἐν ε Φιλιππικῶν φησι· τὸ γὰρ ἐσθίειν πολλὰ καὶ κρεοφαγεῖν τοὺς μὲν λογισμοὺς ἐξαιρεῖ καὶ τὰς ψυχὰς ποιεῖται βραδυτέρας, ὀργῆς δὲ καὶ σκληρότητος καὶ πολλῆς σκαιότητος ἐμπίπλησι. καὶ ὁ θαυμάσιος δὲ Ξενοφῶν φησιν ὡς ἡδὺ μὲν μᾶζαν καὶ κάρδαμα φαγεῖν πεινῶντι, ἡδὺ δὲ ὕδωρ ἀρυσάμενον ἐκ ποταμοῦ διψῶντα πιεῖν. Σωκράτης δὲ καὶ πολλάκις κατελαμβάνετο διαπεριπατῶν ἑσπέρας βαθείας πρὸ τῆς οἰκίας καὶ πρὸς τοὺς πυνθανομένους τί τηνικάδε; ἔλεγεν ὄψον συνάγειν πρὸς τὸ δεῖπνον. ἡμῖν δὲ αὐτάρκης μερὶς ἣν ἂν παρ’ ὑμῶν λάβωμεν, καὶ οὐ χαλεπαίνομεν ὡς ἔλαττον φερόμενοι, καθάπερ ὁ παρὰ Ἀντικλείδῃ ʽ Ἡρακλῆς. φησὶ γὰρ οὗτος ἐν τῷ β τῶν Νόστων ᾽ μετὰ τὸ συντελέσαι τοὺς ἄθλους Ἡρακλέα Εὐρυσθέως θυσίαν τινὰ ἐπιτελοῦντος συμπαραληφθέντα καὶ τῶν τοῦ Εὐρυσθέως υἱῶν τὰς μερίδας ἑκάστῳ παρατιθέντων, τῷ δ’ Ἡρακλεῖ ταπεινοτέραν παραθέντων, ὁ Ἡρακλῆς ἀτιμάζεσθαι ὑπολαβὼν ἀπέκτεινε τρεῖς τῶν παίδων Περιμήδην, Εὐρύβιον, Εὐρύπυλον οὐ τοιοῦτοι οὖν τὸν θυμὸν ἡμεῖς, εἰ καὶ πάντα ʽ Ἡρακλέους ζηλωταί.
For lentils are a tragic food,said Archagathus.... to have written; which alsoOrestes ate when he had recover'd from his sickness,as Sophilus the comic writer says. But it is a Stoic doctrine, that the wise man will do everything well, and will be able to cook even lentils cleverly. On which account Timon the Phliasian said—And a man who knows not how to cook a lentil wisely.As if a lentil could not be boiled in any other way except ac- cording to the precepts of Zeno, who said—Add to the lentils a twelfth part of coriander.And Crates the Theban said—Do not prefer a dainty dish to lentils,And so cause factious quarrels in our party.'And Chrysippus, in his treatise on the Beautiful, quoting some apophthegms to us, says—Eat not an olive when you have a nettle;But take in winter lentil-macaroni—Bah! bah!Lentil-macaroni's like ambrosia in cold weather.And the witty Aristophanes said, in his Gerytades—You're teaching him to boil porridge or lentils.And, in his Amphiaraus—You who revile the lentil, best of food.And Epicharmus says, in his Dionysi—And then a dish of lentils was boil'd up.And Antiphanes says, in his Women like one another—Things go on well. Do you now boil some lentils,Or else at least now teach me who you are.And I know that a sister of Ulysses, the most prudent and wisest of men, was called φακῆ (lentil), the same whom some other writers call Callisto, as Mnaseas of Patra relates, in the third book of his History of the Affairs of Europe, and as Lysimachus also tells us, in the third book of his Returns.
τραγικὸν γὰρ ἡ φακῆ ᾽στιν, ἦς καὶ φασιν Ἀγάθαρχὸν ποτὲ γεγραφέναι ῥοφοῦντ’ ᾽ Ὀρέστην τῆς νόσου πεπαυμένον, φησὶ Σώφιλος ὁ κωμῳδιοποιός. στωικὸν δὲ δόγμα ἐστὶν ὅτι τε πάντα εὖ ποιήσει ὁ σοφὸς καὶ φακῆν φρονίμως ἀρτύσει. διὸ καὶ Τίμων ὁ Φλιάσιος ἔφη· καὶ Ζηνώνειόν γε φακῆν ἕψειν ὃς μὴ φρονίμως μεμάθηκεν, ὡς οὐκ ἄλλως δυναμένης ἑψηθῆναι φακῆς εἰ μὴ κατὰ τὴν Ζηνώνειον ὑφήγησιν, ὃς ἔφη· εἰς δὲ φακῆν ἔμβαλλε δυωδέκατον κοριάννου. καὶ Κράτης δ’ ὁ Θηβαῖος ἔλεγεν μὴ πρὸ φακῆς λοπάδ’ αὔξων εἰς στάσιν ἄμμε βάλῃς. Χρύσιππός τε ἐν τῷ περὶ τοῦ καλοῦ γνώμας τινὰς ἡμῖν εἰσφέρων φησί· μηδέποτ’ ἐλαίαν ἔσθι᾽, ἀκαλήφην ἔχων. χειμῶνος ὥρᾳ βολβοφακῆν, βαβαί, βαβαί. βολβοφακῆ δ’ οἷον ἀμβροσίη ψύχους κρυόεντος. ὁ χαρίεις τε Ἀριστοφάνης ἐν Γηρυτάδῃ ἔφη· πτισάνην διδάσκεις αὐτὸν ἕψειν ἢ φακῆν; καὶ ἐν Ἀμφιαράῳ· ὅστις φακῆν ἥδιστον ὄψων λοιδορεῖς, Ἐπίχαρμος δὲ ἐν Διονύσοις· χύτρα δὲ φακέας ἥψετο. Ἀντιφάνης Ὁμοίαις· εὖ δ’ ἐγίνεθ’ εἰ φακῆν ἕψειν μ’ ἐδίδασκε τῶν ἐπιχωρίων τις εἷς. οἶδα δὲ καὶ τὴν Ὀδυσσέως τοῦ φρονιμωτάτου καὶ συνετωτάτου ἀδελφὴν Φακῆν καλουμένην, ἣν ἄλλοι τινὲς Καλλιστὼ ὀνομάζουσιν, ὡς ἱστορεῖν Μνασέαν τὸν Πατρέα ἐν τρίτῳ Εὐρωπιακῶν φησιν Λυσίμαχος ἐν τρίτῳ Νόστων.
And when Plutarch had burst into a violent fit of laughter at this, the Cynic, who could not endure to have his extensive learning on the subject of lentils disregarded, said— "But all you fine gentlemen from Alexandria, O Plutarch, are fed from your childhood on lentils; and your whole city is full of things made of lentils: which are mentioned by Sopater the lentil parodist, in his drama entitled Bacchis, where he speaks as follows:—I could not bear to eat a common loaf,Seeing a large high brazen pile of lentils.For, what is there of which mortals have need, (according to your own idol, Euripides, O you most learned of men,) except two things only,The corn of Ceres and a draught of water?And they are here, and able to support us.But we are not with plenty such as thisContented, but are slaves to luxuryAnd such contrivances of other food.And in another place that dramatic philosopher says—The moderate fare shall me contentOf a plain modest table;And I will never seek nor e'en admitWhatever is out of season and superfluous.And Socrates said that he differed from other men in this, that they lived that they might eat, but he ate that he might live. And Diogenes said to those who accused him of scratching himself,—I wish I could scratch my stomach, so as to rub all poverty and want out of it. And Euripides, in his Suppliant Women, says of Capaneus—This man is Capancus, a man who hadAbundant riches, but no pride therefromLodged in his, more than in a poor man's bosom.But those who boasted of their luxuryHe blamed, and praised the contented spirit.For virtue did not, as he said, consistIn eating richly, but in moderation.
ἐπὶ τούτοις γελάσαντος πάνυ ἔκλαμπρον τοῦ Πλουτάρχου οὐκ ἐνέγκας ὁ κύων παροραθεῖσαν τὴν περὶ τῆς φακῆς πολυμάθειανἀλλ’ ὑμεῖς γε, ἔφη, οἱ ἀπὸ τῆς καλῆς Ἀλεξανδρείας, ὦ Πλούταρχε, σύντροφοί ἐστε τῷ φακίνῳ βρώματι καὶ πᾶσα ὑμῶν ἡ πόλις πλήρης ἐστὶ φακίνων ὧν καὶ Σώπατρος ὁ Φάκιος παρῳδὸς μέμνηται ἐν δράματι Βακχίδι λέγων οὕτως· οὐκ ἂν δυναίμην εἰσορῶν χαλκήλατον μέγαν κολοσσὸν φάκινον ἄρτον ἐσθίειν. ᾽ ἐπεὶ τί δεῖ βροτοῖσι κατὰ τὸν σὸν Εὐριπίδην, γραμματικώτατε, ᾽ πλὴν δυοῖν μόνον Δήμητρος ἀκτῆς πώματός θ’ ὑδρηχόου; ἅπερ πάρεστι καὶ πέφυχ’ ἡμᾶς τρέφειν. ὧν οὐκ ἀπαρκεῖ πλησμονή· τρυφῇ γέ τοι ἄλλων ἐδεστῶν μηχανὰς θηρεύομεν. κἀν ἄλλοις δέ φησιν ὁ σκηνικὸς οὗτος φιλόσοφος - ἀρκεῖ μετρία βιοτά μοι σώφρονος τραπέζης· τὸ δ’ ἄκαιρον ἅπαν … ὑπερβάλλον τε μὴ προσείμαν. καὶ ὁ Σωκράτης δ’ ἔλεγεν τῶν ἄλλων ἀνθρώπων διαφέρειν καθ’ ὅσον οἱ μὲν ζῶσιν ἵν’ ἐσθίωσιν, αὐτὸς δ’ ἐσθίει ἵνα ζῇ. Διογένης τε πρὸς τοὺς ἐγκαλοῦντας αὐτῷ ἀποτριβομένῳ ἔλεγεν ᾽ εἴθ’ ἠδυνάμην καὶ τὴν γαστέρα τρίψας τῆς πείνης καὶ τῆς ἐνδείας παύσασθαι ὁ δ’ Εὐριπίδης ἐν Ἱκέτισι περὶ τοῦ Καπανέως φησὶν Καπανεὺς ὅδ’ ἐστὶν ᾧ βίος μὲν ἦν πολύς, ἥκιστα δ’ ὄλβῳ γαῦρος ἦν· φρόνημα δὲ οὐδέν τι μεῖζον εἶχεν ἢ πένης ἀνήρ, ψέγων τραπέζαις εἴ τις ἐξογκοῖτ’ ἄγαν, τἀρκοῦν ἐπαινῶν οὐ γὰρ ἐν γαστρὸς βορᾷ τὸ χρηστὸν εἶναι, μέτρια δ’ ἐξαρκεῖν ἔφη.
Capaneus was not, as it seems, such as the honest Chrysippus describes, in his treatise On those things which are not eligible for their own sakes. For he speaks in this manner: —“Some men apply themselves with such eagerness to the pursuit of money, that it is even related, that a man once, when near his end, swallowed a number of pieces of gold, and so died. Another person sewed a quantity of money into a tunic, and put it on, and then ordered his servants to bury him in that dress, neither burning his body, nor stripping it and laying it out.” For these men and all like them may almost be said, as they die, to cry out—Oh gold, the choicest of all gifts to men!For no fond mother does such raptures know,Nor children in the house, nor any father,Such as do flow from you, and are enjoy'dBy those who own you. If like yours the faceOf Venus, when she rose up from the sea,No wonder that she has ten thousand lovers.Such great thirst for money was there among the men of that time, concerning which Anacharsis, when some one asked him what the Greeks used money for? said, To count with. But Diogenes, in his treatise on Polity, proposed to establish a law that bits of bone should be taken as coins; and well too has Euripides said—Speak not of wealth; that god I worship not,Who comes with ease into a bad man's power.And Chrysippus, in his elementary work, which is entitled, A Treatise on Good and Evil Things, says that "a certain young man from Ionia came to sojourn at Athens, clothed in a purple robe having golden fringes; and when some one asked of him what countryman he was, he replied that he was rich. And, perhaps, it may be the very same person whom Alexis mentions in his Thebans, where he says—A. But from what country does this person come?B. From Richland; and by general consentThe natives of that land are counted noble;Nor can one find a noble beggar anywhere.
οὐκ ἦν γὰρ τοιοῦτος ὁ Καπανεὺς οἷον ὁ καλὸς Χρύσιππος διαγράφει ἐν τῷ περὶ τῶν μὴ δι’ αὑτὰ αἱρετῶν λέγων ὧδε· ᾽ ἐπὶ τοσοῦτόν τινες ἐκπίπτουσι πρὸς τὸ ἀργύριον ὥστε ἱστορῆσθαι πρὸς τῇ τελευτῇ τινα μὲν καταπιόντα οὐκ ὀλίγους χρυσοῦς ἀποθανεῖν, τὸν δὲ ἕτερον ῥαψάμενον εἴς τινα χιτῶνα καὶ ἐνδύντα αὐτὸν ἐπισκῆψαι τοῖς οἰκείοις θάψαι οὕτως μήτε καύσαντας μήτε θεραπεύσαντας.᾽ οὗτοι γὰρ καὶ οἱ τοιοῦτοι μονονουχὶ βοῶντες ἀποθνῄσκουσιν ὦ χρυσέ, δεξίωμα κάλλιστον βροτοῖς, ὡς οὔτε μήτηρ ἡδονὰς τοιάσδ’ ἔχει, οὐ παῖδες ἐν δόμοισιν, οὐ φίλος πατήρ, οἵας σὺ χοἰ σὲ δώμασιν κεκτημένοι, εἰ δ’ ἡ Κύπρις τοιοῦτον ὀφθαλμοῖς ὁρᾷ, οὐ θαῦμ’ Ἔρωτας μυρίους αὐτὴν ἔχειν. τοιαύτη τις ἦν ἡ φιλοχρηματία παρὰ τοῖς τότε περὶ ἧς Ἀνάχαρσις πυνθανομένου τινὸς πρὸς τί οἱ Ἕλληνες χρῶνται τῷ ἀργυρίῳ εἶπεν ᾽ πρὸς τὸ ἀριθμεῖν.᾽ Διογένης δ’ ἐν τῇ ἑαυτοῦ Πολιτείᾳ νόμισμα εἶναι νομοθετεῖ ἀστραγάλους, καλῶς γὰρ καὶ ταῦτα ὁ Εὐριπίδης εἴρηκε· μὴ πλοῦτον εἴπῃς· οὐχὶ θαυμάζω θεὸν ὃν χὡ κάκιστος ῥᾳδίως ἐκτήσατο. Χρύσιππος δ’ ἐν τῇ Εἰσαγωγῇ τῇ εἰς τὴν περὶ ἀγαθῶν καὶ κακῶν πραγματείαν νεανίσκον φησί τινα ἐκ τῆς Ἰωνίας σφόδρα πλούσιον ἐπιδημῆσαι ταῖς Ἀθήναις πορφυρίδα ἠμφιεσμένον ἔχουσαν χρυσᾶ κράσπεδα, πυνθανομένου δέ τινος αὐτοῦ ποδαπός ἐστιν ἀποκρίνασθαι ὅτι πλούσιος. μήποτε τοῦ αὐτοῦ μνημονεύει καὶ Ἄλεξις ἐν Θηβαίοις λέγων ὧδε· ἐστὶν δὲ ποδαπὸς τὸ γένος οὗτος; β. πλούσιος· τούτους δὲ πάντες φασὶν εὐγενεστάτους, πένητα δ’ εὐπάτριδ’ οὐδὲ εἷς ὁρᾷ.
When Cynulcus had said this, and when no one applauded him, he got out of temper; and said,—But since these men, O you master of the feast, are made so uncomfortable by a Diarrhœa of words as to feel no hunger; or perhaps, it may be that they laugh at what is said about lentils, (having in their mind what is said by Pherecrates, in his Coriander—A. Come now, I'll sit me down; and bring me here,O slave, a table, and a cup of wine,That I may eat to flavour what I drink.B. Here is a cup, a table, and some lentils.A. No lentils bring to me, I like them not:For if one eats them, they do taint the breath.)—Since then, on this account, these wise men guard against the lentils, at all events cause some bread to be given to us, with a little plain food; no expensive dishes, but any of those vulgar lentils, if you have them, or what is called lentil soup. And when every one laughed, especially at the idea of the lentil soup, he said, You are very ignorant men, you feasters, never having read any books, which are the only things to instruct those who desire what is good. I mean the books of the Silli of Timon the Pyrrhonian. For he it is who speaks of lentil soup, in the second book of his Silli, writing as follows:—The Teian barley-cakes do please me not,Nor e'en the Lydian sauces: but the Greeks,And their dry lentil soup, delight me moreThan all that painful luxury of excess.For though the barley-cakes of Teos are preeminently good, (as also are those from Eretria, as Sopater says, in his Suitors of Bacchis, where he says—We came to Eretria, for its white meal famed;)and also, the Lydian sauces; still Timon prefers the lentil soup to both of them put together.
ταῦτ’ εἰπὼν ὁ Κύνουλκος, ἐπεὶ μὴ ἐκροταλίσθη, θυμωθεὶςἀλλ’ ἐπειδὴ οὗτοι, ἔφη, ὦ συμποσίαρχε, ὑπὸ λογοδιαρροίας ἐνοχλούμενοι μὴ πεινῶσιν ἢ τὰ περὶ τῆς φακῆς λεχθέντα χλευάζουσιν, ἐν νῷ ἔχοντες τὰ εἰρημένα Φερεκράτει ἐν Κοριαννοῖ· φέρε δὴ κατακλινῶ· σὺ δὲ τράπεζαν ἔκφερε καὶ κύλικα κἀντραγεῖν, ἵν’ ἥδιον πίω. β. ἰδοὺ κύλιξ σοι καὶ τράπεζα καὶ φακοί. α. μή μοι φακούς, μὰ τὸν Δί᾽, οὐ γὰρ ἥδομαι. ἢν γὰρ τράγῃ τις, τοῦ στόματος ὄζει κακόν. ἐπεὶ οὖν διὰ τοῦτο φυλάττονται οἱ σοφοὶ οὗτοι τοὺς φακούς, ἀλλ’ ἡμῖν γε ποίησον δοθῆναι ἄρτων,, μεθ’ ὧν μηδὲν τῶν πολυτελῶν, ἀλλὰ κἂν τὴν πολυθρύλητον ἔχῃς φακῆν ἢ τὸν καλούμενον κόγχον.γελασάντων δὲ πάντων καὶ ἐπὶ τῷ κόγχῳ μάλισταἀπαίδευτοί ἐστε, ἔφη, ἄνδρες δαιτυμόνες, οὐκ ἀναγινώσκοντες βιβλία ἃ μόνα παιδεύει τούς γε ἐπιθυμοῦντας τῶν καλῶν λέγω δὲ τὰ Τίμωνος τοῦ Πυρρωνείου τῶν σίλλων. οὗτος γάρ ἐστιν ὃς καὶ τοῦ κόγχου μνημονεύει ἐν τῷ β τῶν σίλλων λέγων οὕτως· οὔτε μοι ἡ Τεΐη μᾶζ’ ἁνδάνει οὔτε καρύκκη ἡ Λυδῶν, λειτῇ δὲ καὶ αὐαλέῃ ἐνὶ κόγχῳ Ἑλλήνων ἡ πᾶσα περισσοτρύφητος ὀιζύς. διαφόρων γὰρ οὐσῶν καὶ τῶν ἐκ Τέω μαζῶν ὡς καὶ τῶν ἐξ Ἐρετρίας ʽὡς Σώπατρος ἐν Βακχίδος μνηστῆρσι· φησὶν γάρ· Ἐρέτριαν ὡρμήθημεν εἰς λευκάλφιτον ʼ καὶ τῶν Λυδίων καρυκκῶν προκρίνει ἀμφοτέρων ὁ Τίμων τὸν κόγχον.
To this our admirable entertainer, Laurentius himself, replied, saying,—O you men who drive the dogs, according to the Jocasta of Strattis, the comic poet, who in the play entitled The Phœnician Women, is represented as saying—I wish to give you both some good advice:When you boil lentils, pour no perfume o'er them.And Sopater, too, whom you were mentioning just now, in his Descent to Hell, speaks in these terms:—Ulysses, king of Ithaca—'Tis perfumeOn lentils thrown: courage, my noble soul!And Clearchus the Peripatetic philosopher, in his treatise on Proverbs, gives the saying, “Perfume thrown on lentils;” as a proverb which my grandfather Varro also mentions, he, I mean, who was nicknamed Menippius. And many of the Roman grammarians, who have not had much intercourse with many Greek poets or historians, do not know where it is that Varro got his Iambic from. But you seem to me, O Cynulcus, (for you delight in that name, not using the name by which your mother has called you from your birth,) according to your friend Timon, to be a noble and great man, not knowing that the lentil soup obtained mention from the the former Epicharmus, in his Festival, and in his Islands, and also from Antiphanes the comic poet; who, using the diminutive form, has spoken of it in his Wedding, under the following form of expression—A little lentil soup (κόγχιον), a slice of sausage.And Magnus immediately taking up the conversation, said,— The most universally excellent Laurentius has well and cleverly met this hungry dog on the subject of the lentil soup. But I, like to the Galatians of the Paphian Sopater, among whom it is a custom whenever they have met with any eminent success in war to sacrifice their prisoners to the gods,—I too, in imitation of those men,Have vow'd a fiery sacrifice to the gods—Three of these secretly enroll'd logicians.And now that I have heard your companyPhilosophise and argue subtlely,Persisting firmly, I will bring a test,A certain proof of all your arguments:First smoking you. And if then any oneWhen roasted shrinks and draws away his leg,He shall be sold to Zeno for his masterFor transportation, as bereft of wisdom.
πρὸς ταῦτα ὁ καλὸς ἡμῶν ἑστιάτωρ Λαρήνσιος καὶ αὐτὸς ἔφη·ὦ ἄνδρες κύνες οἱ … κατὰ τὴν Στράττιδος τοῦ κωμῳδιοποιοῦ Ἰοκάστην, ἥτις ἐν ταῖς ἐπιγραφομέναις Φοινίσσαις φησὶν παραινέσαι δὲ σφῷν τι βούλομαι σοφὸν ὅταν φακῆν ἕψητε, μὴ ᾽ πιχεῖν μύρον. καὶ ὁ Σώπατρος δέ, οὗ τὰ νῦν μέμνησαι, ἐν Νεκυίᾳ μνημονεύει οὕτως· Ἴθακος Ὀδυσσεύς, τοὐπὶ τῇ φακῇ μύρον, πάρεστι· θάρσει, θυμέ. Κλέαρχος δὲ ὁ ἀπὸ τοῦ περιπάτου ἐν τοῖς περὶ παροιμιῶν ὡς παροιμίαν ἀναγράφει τὸ ἐπὶ τῇ φακῇ μύρον, ἧς μέμνηται καὶ ὁ ἐμὸς προπάτωρ Οὐάρρων ὁ Μενίππειος ἐπικαλούμενος· καὶ οἱ πολλοὶ τῶν γραμματικῶν τῶν· Ῥωμαϊκῶν οὐχ ὁμιλήσαντες πολλοῖς Ἑλληνικοῖς ποιηταῖς καὶ συγγραφεῦσιν οὐκ ἴσασιν ὅθεν εἴληφεν ὁ Οὐάρρων τὸ ἰαμβεῖον, σὺ δέ μοι δοκεῖς, ὦ Κύνουλκε ʽτούτῳ γὰρ χαίρεις τῷ ὀνόματι, οὐ λέγων ὃ ἐκ γενετῆς σε ἡ μήτηρ κέκληκε ʼ κατὰ τὸν σὸν Τίμωνα εἶναὶ ʽ μοι καλὸς τε μέγας τε οὐκ ἐπιστάμενος ὅτι κόγχος παρὰ προτέρῳ μνήμης τετύχηκεν Ἐπιχάρμῳ ἐν τᾷ Ἑορτᾷ καὶ Νάσοις Ἀντιφάνει τε τῷ κωμικῷ, ὃς ὑποκοριστικώτερον αὐτὸν ὠνόμασεν ἐν Γάμῳ οὕτως· κογχίον τε μικρὸν ἀλλᾶντός τε προστετμημένον.ἑξῆς ἁρπάσας τὸν λόγον ὁ Μάγνοςὁ μὲν πάντα ἄριστος, ἔφη, Λαρήνσιος ὀξέως καὶ καλῶς ἀπήντησε τῷ γάστριδι κυνὶ περὶ τοῦ κόγχου. ἐγὼ δὲ κατὰ τοὺς τοῦ Παφίου Σωπάτρου Γαλάτας, παρ’ οἷς ἔθος ἐστίν, ἡνίκ’ ἂν προτέρημά τι ἐν τοῖς πολέμοις λάβωσι, θύειν τοῖς θεοῖς τοὺς αἰχμαλώτους, τοὺς Γαλάτας μιμούμενος κἀγὼ κατακαύσειν ηὐξάμην τοῖς δαίμοσι διαλεκτικοὺς τρεῖς τῶν παρεγγεγραμμένων. καὶ μὴν φιλοσοφεῖν φιλολογεῖν τ᾽ ἀκηκοὼς ὑμᾶς ἐπιμελῶς καρτερεῖν θ’ αἱρουμένους, τὴν πεῖραν ὑμῖν λήψομαι τῶν δογμάτων, πρῶτον· καπνίζων εἶτ’ ἐὰν ὀπτωμένων ἴδω τιν’ ὑμῶν συσπάσαντα τὸ σκέλος, Ζηνωνικῷ πραθήσεθ’ οὗτος κυρίῳ ἐπ’ ἐξαγωγῇ, τὴν φρόνησιν ἀγνοῶν.
For I will speak freely to them. If you are so fond of contentment, O philosopher, why do you not admire those dis- ciples of Pythagoras, concerning whom Antiphanes says, in his Monuments—Some miserable Pythagoreans cameGnawing some salt food in a deep ravine,And picking up such refuse in a wallet.And in the play which is especially entitled the Wallet, he says—First, like a pupil of Pythagoras,He eats no living thing, but peels some husksOf barley which he's bought for half an obol,Discolour'd dirty husks, and those he eats.And Alexis says, in his Tarentines—For, as we hear, the pupils of PythagorasEat no good meat nor any living thing,And they alone of men do drink no wine.But Epicharides will bitches eat;The only one of all the sect; but thenHe kills them first, and says they are not living.And proceeding a little further, he says—A. Shreds of Pythagoras and subtletiesAnd well-fill'd thoughts are their sufficient food.Their daily meals are these-a simple loafTo every man, and a pure cup of water.And this is all.B. You speak of prison fare.A. This is the way that all the wise men live.These are the hardships that they all endure.B. Where do they live in such a way?A. Yet they procureDainties after their sort for one another;Know you not Melanippides and Phaon,Phyromachus and Phanus are companions?And they together sup on each fifth dayOn one full cotyla of wheaten meal.And, in his Female Pythagorean, he says—A. The banquet shall be figs and grapes and cheese,For these the victims are which the strict lawAllows Pythagoras' sect to sacrifice.B. By Jove, as fine a sacrifice as possible.And a few lines afterwards, he says—One must for a short time, my friend, endureHunger, and dirt, and cold, and speechlessness,And sullen frowns, and an unwashen face.
μετὰ παρρησίας γὰρ ἐρῶ πρὸς αὐτούς εἰ αὐτάρκειαν ἀσπάζῃ, φιλόσοφε, τί οὐ τοὺς Πυθαγορικοὺς ἐκείνους ζηλοῖς περὶ ὧν φησιν Ἀντιφάνης μὲν ἐν Μνήμασι τάδε· τῶν Πυθαγοριστῶν δ’ ἔτυχον ἄθλιοί τινες ἐν τῇ χαράδρᾳ τρώγοντες ἅλιμα καὶ κακὰ τοιαῦτα συλλέγοντες ἐν τῷ κωρύκῳ. κἀν τῷ κυρίως Κωρύκῳ δ’ ἐπιγραφομένῳ φησί πρῶτον μὲν ὥσπερ πυθαγορίζων ἐσθίει ἔμψυχον οὐδέν, τῆς δὲ πλείστης τοὐβολοῦ μάζης μελαγχρῆ μερίδα λαμβάνων λέπει. Ἄλεξις δ’ ἐν Ταραντίνοις· οἱ πυθαγορίζοντες γάρ, ὡς ἀκούομεν, οὔτ’ ὄψον ἐσθίουσιν οὔτ’ ἄλλ’ οὐδὲ ἓν ἔμψυχον, οἶνὸν τ’ οὐχὶ πίνουσιν μόνοι. β. Ἐπιχαρίδης μέντοι κύνας κατεσθίει, τῶν Πυθαγορείων εἷς. α. ἀποκτείνας γέ που· οὐκ ἔτι γάρ ἐστ’ ἔμψυχον. προελθών τέ φησι· πυθαγορισμοὶ καὶ λόγοι λεπτοὶ διεσμιλευμέναι τε φροντίδες τρέφουσ’ ἐκείνους, τὰ δὲ καθ’ ἡμέραν τάδε· ἄρτος καθαρὸς εἷς ἑκατέρῳ, ποτήριον ὕδατος· τοσαῦτα ταῦτα. β. δεσμωτηρίου λέγεις δίαιταν πάντες οὕτως οἱ σοφοὶ διάγουσι καὶ τοιαῦτα κακοπαθοῦσί που; α. τρυφῶσιν οὗτοι πρὸς ἑτέρους, ἆρ’ οἶσθ’ ὅτι Μελανιππίδης ἑταῖρός ἐστι καὶ Φάων καὶ Φυρόμαχος καὶ Φᾶνος, οἳ δι’ ἡμέρας δειπνοῦσι πέμπτης ἀλφίτων κοτύλην μίαν; καὶ ἐν Πυθαγοριζούσῃ· ἡ δ’ ἑστίασις ἰσχάδες καὶ στέμφυλα καὶ τυρὸς ἔσται· ταῦτα γὰρ θύειν νόμος τοῖς Πυθαγορείοις. β. νὴ Δί᾽, ἱερεῖον μὲν οὖν ὁποῖον ἂν κάλλιστον, ὦ βέλτιστ᾽, ἔχῃ. καὶ μετ’ ὀλίγα· ἔδει θ’ ὑπομεῖναι μικροσιτίαν, ῥύπον, ῥῖγος, σιωπήν, στυγνότητ᾽, ἀλουσίαν.
But you, my philosophical friends, practise none of these things. But what is far worse than any of them, you talk about what you do not in the least understand; and, as if you were eating in an orderly manner, you take in mouthfuls like the man in that sweet poet Antiphanes; for he says, in his Runaway Slave-catcher— Taking a moderate mouthful, small outside, But large within his hand, as women do. And in the same way you eat a great deal and eat very fast; when it is in your power, according to the words of the same poet which he uses in the Thombycius, “to buy for a single drachma food well suited to you, such as garlic, cheese, onions, and capers; for all these only cost a drachma.” And Aristophanes says, in his Pythagoreans—What? do we think, I ask you in God's name,That these philosophers of olden time,The pupils of Pythagoras, went thusIn dirt and rags all of their own accord?I don't believe one word of such a thing.No; they were forced to do so, as they had notA single farthing to buy clothes or soap.And then they made a merit of economy,And laid down rules, most splendid rules for beggars.But only put before them fish or meat;And if they do not their own fingers biteFor very eagerness, I will be boundTo let you hang me ten times over.And it is not foreign to the present discussion to mention an epigram which was made with reference to you, which Hegesander the Delphian has quoted, in the sixth book of his Commentaries—Men drawing up your eyebrows, and depressingYour scornful nostrils till they reach the chin,Wearing your beards in sacks, strippers of dishes,Wearing your cloak outside, with unshod feetLooking like oil, and eating stealthilyLike hungry vagrants 'neath night's friendly cover,Cheaters of youth, spouters of syllables,Pretenders to vain wisdom, but pretendingTo make your only object Virtue's self.
τούτων δ’ ὑμεῖς, ὦ φιλόσοφοι, οὐδὲν ἀσκεῖτε, ἀλλὰ καὶ τὸ πάντων χαλεπώτατον λαλεῖτε περὶ ὧν οὐκ οἴδατε καὶ ὡς κοσμίως ἐσθίοντες ποιεῖτε τὴν ἔνθεσιν κατὰ τὸν ἥδιστον Ἀντιφάνη· οὗτος γὰρ ἐν Δραπεταγωγῷ λέγει· κοσμίως ποιῶν τὴν ἔνθεσιν μικρὰν μὲν ἐκ τοῦ πρόσθε, μεστὴν δ’ ἔνδοθεν τὴν χεῖρα, καθάπερ αἱ γυναῖκεσ—κατέφαγε πάμπολλα καὶ παχύτατα, ἐξὸν κατὰ τὸν αὐτὸν τοῦτον ποιητὴν ἐν Βομβυλιῷ λέγοντα δραχμῆς ὠνήσασθαι τὰς προσφόρους ὑμῖν τροφάς, σκορόδια, τυρόν, κρόμμυα, κάππαριν … ἅπαντα ταῦτ’ ἐστὶν δραχμῆς. Ἀριστοφῶν δ’ ἐν Πυθαγοριστῇ· πρὸς τῶν θεῶν, οἰόμεθα τοὺς πάλαι ποτὲ τοὺς Πυθαγοριστὰς γινομένους ὄντως ῥυπᾶν ἑκόντας ἢ φορεῖν τρίβωνας ἡδέως; οὐκ ἔστι τούτων οὐδέν, ὡς ἐμοὶ δοκεῖ· ἀλλ’ ἐξ ἀνάγκης, οὐκ ἔχοντες οὐδὲ ἕν, τῆς εὐτελείας πρόφασιν εὑρόντες καλὴν ὅρους ἔπηξαν τοῖς πένησι χρησίμους. ἐπεὶ παράθες αὐτοῖσιν ἰχθῦς ἢ κρέας, κἂν μὴ κατεσθίωσι καὶ τοὺς δακτύλους, ἐθέλω κρέμασθαι δεκάκις. οὐκ ἄκαιρον δ’ ἐστὶν μνημονεῦσαι καὶ τοῦ εἰς ὑμᾶς ποιηθέντος ἐπιγράμματος, ὅπερ παρέθετο ὁ Δελφὸς Ἡγήσανδρος ἐν ἕκτῳ ὑπομνημάτων ὀφρυανασπασίδαι, ῥινεγκαταπηξιγένειοι, σακκογενειοτρόφοι καὶ λοπαδαρπαγίδαι, εἱματανωπερίβαλλοι, ἀνηλιποκαιβλεπέλαιοι, νυκτιλαθραιοφάγοι, νυκταπαταμπλάκιοι, μειρακιεξαπάται καὶ συλλαβοπευσιλαληταί, δοξοματαιόσοφοι, ζηταρετησιάδαι.