1.1. Antisthenes, the son of Antisthenes, was an Athenian. It was said, however, that he was not of pure Attic blood. Hence his reply to one who taunted him with this: “The mother of the gods too is a Phrygian.” For his mother was supposed to have been a Thracian. Hence it was that, when he had distinguished himself in the battle of Tanagra, he gave Socrates occasion to remark that, if both his parents had been Athenians, he would not have turned out so brave. He himself showed his contempt for the airs which the Athenians gave themselves on the strength of being sprung from the soil by the remark that this did not make them any better born than snails or wingless locusts. To begin with, he became a pupil of Gorgias the rhetorician, and hence the rhetorical style that he introduces in his dialogues, and especially in his Truth and in his Exhortations.
1.1. Ἀντισθένης Ἀντισθένους Ἀθηναῖος. ἐλέγετο δʼ οὐκ εἶναι ἰθαγενής· ὅθεν καὶ πρὸς τὸν ὀνειδίζοντα εἰπεῖν, καὶ ἡ μήτηρ τῶν θεῶν Φρυγία ἐστίν. ἐδόκει γὰρ εἶναι Θρᾴττης μητρός· ὅθεν καὶ ἐν Τανάγρᾳ κατὰ τὴν μάχην εὐδοκιμήσας ἔδωκε λέγειν Σωκράτει ὡς οὐκ ἂν ἐκ δυοῖν Ἀθηναίων οὕτω γεγόνοι γενναῖος. καὶ αὐτὸς δὲ τοὺς Ἀθηναίους ἐπὶ τῷ γηγενεῖς εἶναι σεμνυνομένους ἐκφαυλίζων ἔλεγε μηδὲν εἶναι κοχλιῶν καὶ ἀττελέβων εὐγενεστέρους. Οὗτος κατʼ ἀρχὰς μὲν ἤκουσε Γοργίου τοῦ ῥήτορος· ὅθεν τὸ ῥητορικὸν εἶδος ἐν τοῖς διαλόγοις ἐπιφέρει καὶ μάλιστα ἐν τῇ Ἀληθείᾳ καὶ τοῖς Προτρεπτικοῖς.
1.2. According to Hermippus he intended at the public gathering for the Isthmian games to discourse on the faults and merits of Athenians, Thebans and Lacedaemonians, but begged to be excused when he saw throngs arriving from those cities. Later on, however, he came into touch with Socrates, and derived so much benefit from him that he used to advise his own disciples to become fellow-pupils with him of Socrates. He lived in the Peiraeus, and every day would tramp the five miles to Athens in order to hear Socrates. From Socrates he learned his hardihood, emulating his disregard of feeling, and thus he inaugurated the Cynic way of life. He demonstrated that pain is a good thing by instancing the great Heracles and Cyrus, drawing the one example from the Greek world and the other from the barbarians.
1.2. φησὶ δʼ Ἕρμιππος ὅτι προείλετο ἐν τῇ τῶν Ἰσθμίων πανηγύρει ψέξαι τε καὶ ἐπαινέσαι Ἀθηναίους, Θηβαίους, Λακεδαιμονίους· εἶτα μέντοι παραιτήσασθαι ἰδόντα πλείους ἐκ τῶν πόλεων ἀφιγμένους. Ὕστερον δὲ παρέβαλε Σωκράτει, καὶ τοσοῦτον ὤνατο αὐτοῦ, ὥστε παρῄνει τοῖς μαθηταῖς γενέσθαι αὐτῷ πρὸς Σωκράτην συμμαθητάς. οἰκῶν τʼ ἐν Πειραιεῖ καθʼ ἑκάστην ἡμέραν τοὺς τετταράκοντα σταδίους ἀνιὼν ἤκουε Σωκράτους, παρʼ οὗ καὶ τὸ καρτερικὸν λαβὼν καὶ τὸ ἀπαθὲς ζηλώσας κατῆρξε πρῶτος τοῦ κυνισμοῦ. καὶ ὅτι ὁ πόνος ἀγαθὸν συνέστησε διὰ τοῦ μεγάλου Ἡρακλέους καὶ τοῦ Κύρου, τὸ μὲν ἀπὸ τῶν Ἑλλήνων, τὸ δὲ ἀπὸ τῶν βαρβάρων ἑλκύσας.
1.3. He was the first to define statement (or assertion) by saying that a statement is that which sets forth what a thing was or is. He used repeatedly to say, “I’d rather be mad than feel pleasure,” and “We ought to make love to such women as will feel a proper gratitude.” When a lad from Pontus was about to attend his lectures, and asked him what he required, the answer was, “Come with a new book, a new pen, and new tablets, if you have a mind to” (implying the need of brains as well). When someone inquired what sort of wife he ought to marry, he said, “If she’s beautiful, you’ll not have her to yourself; if she’s ugly, you’ll pay for it dearly.” Being told that Plato was abusing him, he remarked, “It is a royal privilege to do good and be ill spoken of.”
1.3. Πρῶτός τε ὡρίσατο λόγον εἰπών, λόγος ἐστὶν ὁ τὸ τί ἦν ἢ ἔστι δηλῶν. ἔλεγέ τε συνεχές, μανείην μᾶλλον ἢ ἡσθείην· καὶ χρὴ τοιαύταις πλησιάζειν γυναιξὶν αἳ χάριν εἴσονται. πρός τε τὸ Ποντικὸν μειράκιον μέλλον φοιτᾶν αὐτῷ καὶ πυθόμενον τίνων αὐτῷ δεῖ, φησί, βιβλιαρίου καινοῦ καὶ γραφείου καινοῦ καὶ πινακιδίου καινοῦ, τὸν νοῦν παρεμφαίνων. πρὸς δὲ τὸν ἐρόμενον ποδαπὴν γήμαι, ἔφη, ἂν μὲν καλήν, ἕξεις κοινήν, ἂν δὲ αἰσχράν, ἕξεις ποινήν. ἀκούσας ποτὲ ὅτι Πλάτων αὐτὸν κακῶς λέγει, βασιλικόν, ἔφη, καλῶς ποιοῦντα κακῶς ἀκούειν.
1.4. When he was being initiated into the Orphic mysteries, the priest said that those admitted into these rites would be partakers of many good things in Hades. “Why then,” said he, “don’t you die?” Being reproached because his parents were not both free-born, “Nor were they both wrestlers,” quoth he, “but yet I am a wrestler.” To the question why he had but few disciples he replied, “Because I use a silver rod to eject them.” When he was asked why he was so bitter in reproving his pupils he replied, “Physicians are just the same with their patients.” One day upon seeing an adulterer running for his life he exclaimed, “Poor wretch, what peril you might have escaped at the price of an obol.” He used to say, as we learn from Hecato in his Anecdotes, that it is better to fall in with crows than with flatterers; for in the one case you are devoured when dead, in the other case while alive.
1.4. Μυούμενός ποτε τὰ Ὀρφικά, τοῦ ἱερέως εἰπόντος ὅτι οἱ ταῦτα μυούμενοι πολλῶν ἐν ᾅδου ἀγαθῶν μετίσχουσι, τί οὖν, ἔφη, οὐκ ἀποθνήσκεις; ὀνειδιζόμενός ποτε ὡς οὐκ εἴη ἐκ δύο ἐλευθέρων, οὐδὲ γὰρ ἐκ δύο, ἔφη, παλαιστικῶν, ἀλλὰ παλαιστικός εἰμι. ἐρωτώμενος διὰ τί ὀλίγους ἔχει μαθητάς, ἔφη, ὅτι ἀργυρέᾳ αὐτοὺς ἐκβάλλω ῥάβδῳ. ἐρωτηθεὶς διὰ τί πικρῶς τοῖς μαθηταῖς ἐπιπλήττει, καὶ οἱ ἰατροί, φησί, τοῖς κάμνουσιν. ἰδών ποτε μοιχὸν φεύγοντα, ὦ δυστυχής, εἶπε, πηλίκον κίνδυνον ὀβολοῦ διαφυγεῖν ἴσχυες. κρεῖττον ἔλεγε, καθά φησιν Ἑκάτων ἐν ταῖς Χρείαις, εἰς κόρακας ἢ εἰς κόλακας ἐμπεσεῖν· οἱ μὲν γὰρ νεκρούς, οἱ δὲ ζῶντας ἐσθίουσιν.
1.5. Being asked what was the height of human bliss, he replied, “To die happy.” When a friend complained to him that he had lost his notes, “You should have inscribed them,” said he, “on your mind instead of on paper.” As iron is eaten away by rust, so, said he, the envious are consumed by their own passion. Those who would fain be immortal must, he declared, live piously and justly. States, said he, are doomed when they are unable to distinguish good men from bad. Once, when he was applauded by rascals, he remarked, “I am horribly afraid I have done something wrong.”
1.5. Ἐρωτηθεὶς τί μακαριώτατον ἐν ἀνθρώποις, ἔφη, τὸ εὐτυχοῦντα ἀποθανεῖν. γνωρίμου ποτὲ πρὸς αὐτὸν ἀποδυρομένου ὡς εἴη τὰ ὑπομνήματα ἀπολωλεκώς, ἔδει γάρ, ἔφη, ἐν τῇ ψυχῇ αὐτὰ καὶ μὴ ἐν τοῖς χαρτίοις καταγράφειν. ὥσπερ ὑπὸ τοῦ ἰοῦ τὸν σίδηρον, οὕτως ἔλεγε τοὺς φθονεροὺς ὑπὸ τοῦ ἰδίου ἤθους κατεσθίεσθαι. τοὺς βουλομένους ἀθανάτους εἶναι ἔφη δεῖν εὐσεβῶς καὶ δικαίως ζῆν. τότʼ ἔφη τὰς πόλεις ἀπόλλυσθαι, ὅταν μὴ δύνωνται τοὺς φαύλους ἀπὸ τῶν σπουδαίων διακρίνειν. ἐπαινούμενός ποτε ὑπὸ πονηρῶν, ἔφη, ἀγωνιῶ μή τι κακὸν εἴργασμαι.
1.6. When brothers agree, no fortress is so strong as their common life, he said. The right outfit for a voyage, he said, is such as, even if you are shipwrecked, will go through the water with you. One day when he was censured for keeping company with evil men, the reply he made was, “Well, physicians are in attendance on their patients without getting the fever themselves.” “It is strange,” said he, “that we weed out the darnel from the corn and the unfit in war, but do not excuse evil men from the service of the state.” When he was asked what advantage had accrued to him from philosophy, his answer was, “The ability to hold converse with myself.” Some one having called upon him over the wine for a song, he replied, “Then you must accompany me on the pipe.” When Diogenes begged a coat of him, he bade him fold his cloak around him double.
1.6. Ὁμονοούντων ἀδελφῶν συμβίωσιν παντὸς ἔφη τείχους ἰσχυροτέραν εἶναι. τοιαῦτʼ ἔφη δεῖν ποιεῖσθαι ἐφόδια ἃ καὶ ναυαγήσαντι συγκολυμβήσει. ὀνειδιζόμενός ποτʼ ἐπὶ τῷ πονηροῖς συγγενέσθαι, καὶ οἱ ἰατροί, φησί, μετὰ τῶν νοσούντων εἰσίν, ἀλλʼ οὐ πυρέττουσιν. ἄτοπον ἔφη τοῦ μὲν σίτου τὰς αἴρας ἐκλέγειν καὶ ἐν τῷ πολέμῳ τοὺς ἀχρείους, ἐν δὲ πολιτείᾳ τοὺς πονηροὺς μὴ παραιτεῖσθαι. ἐρωτηθεὶς τί αὐτῷ περιγέγονεν ἐκ φιλοσοφίας, ἔφη, τὸ δύνασθαι ἑαυτῷ ὁμιλεῖν. εἰπόντος αὐτῷ τινος παρὰ πότον, ᾆσον, σὺ δέ μοι, φησίν, αὔλησον. Διογένει χιτῶνα αἰτοῦντι πτύξαι προσέταξε θοιμάτιον.
1.7. Being asked what learning is the most necessary, he replied, “How to get rid of having anything to unlearn.” And he advised that when men are slandered, they should endure it more courageously than if they were pelted with stones. And he used to taunt Plato with being conceited. At all events when in a procession he spied a spirited charger he said, turning to Plato, “It seems to me that you would have made just such a proud, showy steed.” This because Plato was constantly praising horseflesh. And one day he visited Plato, who was ill, and seeing the basin into which Plato had vomited, remarked, “The bile I see, but not the pride.”
1.7. ἐρωτηθεὶς τί τῶν μαθημάτων ἀναγκαιότατον, τὸ περιαιρεῖν, ἔφη, τὸ ἀπομανθάνειν. παρεκελεύετό τε κακῶς ἀκούοντας καρτερεῖν μᾶλλον ἢ εἰ λίθοις τις βάλλοιτο. Ἔσκωπτέ τε Πλάτωνα ὡς τετυφωμένον. πομπῆς γοῦν γενομένης ἵππον θεασάμενος φρυακτήν φησι πρὸς τὸν Πλάτωνα, ἐδόκεις μοι καὶ σὺ ἵππος ἂν εἶναι λαμπρυντής· τοῦτο δὲ ἐπεὶ καὶ συνεχὲς ὁ Πλάτων ἵππον ἐπῄνει. καί ποτʼ ἐλθὼν πρὸς αὐτὸν νοσοῦντα καὶ θεασάμενος λεκάνην ἔνθα ὁ Πλάτων ἐμημέκει ἔφη, χολὴν μὲν ὁρῶ ἐνταῦθα, τῦφον δὲ οὐχ ὁρῶ.
1.8. He used to recommend the Athenians to vote that asses are horses. When they deemed this absurd, his reply was, “But yet generals are found among you who had had no training, but were merely elected.” “Many men praise you,” said one. “Why, what wrong have I done?” was his rejoinder. When he turned the torn part of his cloak so that it came into view, Socrates no sooner saw this than he said, “I spy your love of fame peeping through your cloak.” Phanias in his work on the Socratics tells us how some one asked him what he must do to be good and noble, and he replied, “You must learn from those who know that the faults you have are to be avoided.” When some one extolled luxury his reply was, “May the sons of your enemies live in luxury.”
1.8. συνεβούλευεν Ἀθηναίοις τοὺς ὄνους ἵππους ψηφίσασθαι· ἄλογον δὲ ἡγουμένων, ἀλλὰ μὴν καὶ στρατηγοί, φησί, φαίνονται παρʼ ὑμῖν μηδὲν μαθόντες, μόνον δὲ χειροτονηθέντες. πρὸς τὸν εἰπόντα, πολλοί σε ἐπαινοῦσι, τί γάρ, ἔφη, κακὸν πεποίηκα; στρέψαντος αὐτοῦ τὸ διερρωγὸς τοῦ τρίβωνος εἰς τὸ προφανές, Σωκράτης ἰδών φησιν, ὁρῶ σου διὰ τοῦ τρίβωνος τὴν φιλοδοξίαν. ἐρωτηθεὶς ὑπό του, καθά φησι Φανίας ἐν τῷ Περὶ τῶν Σωκρατικῶν, τί ποιῶν καλὸς κἀγαθὸς ἔσοιτο, ἔφη, εἰ τὰ κακὰ ἃ ἔχεις ὅτι φευκτά ἐστι μάθοις παρὰ τὼν εἰδότων. πρὸς τὸν ἐπαινοῦντα τρυφήν, ἐχθρῶν παῖδες, ἔφη, τρυφήσειαν.
1.9. To the youth who was posing fantastically as an artist’s model he put this question, “Tell me, if the bronze could speak, on what, think you, would it pride itself most?” “On its beauty,” was the reply. “Then,” said he, “are you not ashamed of delighting in the very same quality as an inanimate object?” When a young man from Pontus promised to treat him with great consideration as soon as his boat with its freight of salt fish should arrive, he took him and an empty wallet to a flour-dealer’s, got it filled, and was going away. When the woman asked for the money, “The young man will pay,” said he, “when his boatload of salt fish arrives.” Antisthenes is held responsible for the exile of Anytus and the execution of Meletus.
1.9. Πρὸς τὸ παρασχηματίζον αὑτὸ τῷ πλάστῃ μειράκιον, εἰπέ μοι, φησίν, εἰ φωνὴν λάβοι ὁ χαλκός, ἐπὶ τίνι ἂν οἴει σεμνυνθῆναι; τοῦ δʼ εἰπόντος, ἐπὶ κάλλει, οὐκ αἰσχύνῃ οὖν, ἔφη, τὰ ὅμοια γεγηθὼς ἀψύχῳ; Ποντικοῦ νε ανίσκου πολυωρήσειν αὐτοῦ ἐπαγγελλομένου, εἰ τὸ πλοῖον ἀφίκοιτο τῶν ταρίχων, λαβὼν αὐτὸν καὶ θύλακον κενὸν πρὸς ἀλφιτόπωλιν ἧκε καὶ σαξάμενος ἀπῄει· τῆς δὲ αἰτούσης τὸ διάφορον, ὁ νεανίσκος, ἔφη, δώσει ἐὰν τὸ πλοῖον αὐτοῦ τῶν ταρίχων ἀφίκηται. Αὐτὸς δὲ καὶ Ἀνύτῳ τῆς φυγῆς αἴτιος γενέσθαι δοκεῖ καὶ Μελήτῳ τοῦ θανάτου.
1.10. For he fell in with some youths from Pontus whom the fame of Socrates had brought to Athens, and he led them off to Anytus, whom he ironically declared to be wiser than Socrates; whereupon (it is said) those about him with much indignation drove Anytus out of the city. If he saw a woman anywhere decked out with ornaments, he would hasten to her house and bid her husband bring out his horse and arms, and then, if the man possessed them, let his extravagance alone, for (he said) the man could with these defend himself; but, if he had none, he would bid him strip off the finery. Favourite themes with him were the following. He would prove that virtue can be taught; that nobility belongs to none other than the virtuous.
1.10. Ποντικοῖς γὰρ νεανίσκοις κατὰ κλέος τοῦ Σωκράτους ἀφιγμένοις περιτυχὼν ἀπήγαγεν αὐτοὺς πρὸς τὸν Ἄνυτον, εἰπὼν ἐν ἤθει σοφώτερον εἶναι τοῦ Σωκράτους· ἐφʼ ᾧ διαγανακτήσαντας τοὺς περιεστῶτας ἐκδιῶξαι αὐτόν. εἰ δέ ποθι θεάσαιτο γύναιον κεκοσμημένον, ἀπῄει ἐπὶ τὴν οἰκίαν αὐτῆς καὶ ἐκέλευε τὸν ἄνδρα ἐξαγαγεῖν ἵππον καὶ ὅπλα, ὥστʼ εἰ μὲν ἔχοι ταῦτα, ἐᾶν τρυφᾶν· ἀμυνεῖσθαι γὰρ τούτοις· εἰ δὲ μή, περιαιρεῖν τὸν κόσμον. Ἤρεσκεν αὐτῷ καὶ τάδε. διδακτὴν ἀπεδείκνυε τὴν ἀρετήν. τοὺς αὐτοὺς εὐγενεῖς [τ]οὺς καὶ ἐναρέτους·
1.11. And he held virtue to be sufficient in itself to ensure happiness, since it needed nothing else except the strength of a Socrates. And he maintained that virtue is an affair of deeds and does not need a store of words or learning; that the wise man is selfsufficing, for all the goods of others are his; that ill repute is a good thing and much the same as pain; that the wise man will be guided in his public acts not by the established laws but by the law of virtue; that he will also marry in order to have children from union with the handsomest women; furthermore that he will not disdain to love, for only the wise man knows who are worthy to be loved.
1.11. αὐτάρκη δὲ τὴν ἀρετὴν πρὸς εὐδαιμονίαν, μηδενὸς προσδεομένην ὅτι μὴ Σωκρατικῆς ἰσχύος. τήν τʼ ἀρετὴν τῶν ἔργων εἶναι, μήτε λόγων πλείστων δεομένην μήτε μαθημάτων. αὐτάρκη τʼ εἶναι τὸν σοφόν· πάντα γὰρ αὐτοῦ εἶναι τὰ τῶν ἄλλων. τήν τʼ ἀδοξίαν ἀγαθὸν καὶ ἴσον τῷ πόνῳ. καὶ τὸν σοφὸν οὐ κατὰ τοὺς κειμένους νόμους πολιτεύσεσθαι, ἀλλὰ κατὰ τὸν τῆς ἀρετῆς. γαμήσειν τε τεκνοποιίας χάριν, ταῖς εὐφυεστάταις συνιόντα γυναιξί. καὶ ἐρασθήσεσθαι δέ· μόνον γὰρ εἰδέναι τὸν σοφὸν τίνων χρὴ ἐρᾶν.
1.12. Diocles records the following sayings of his: To the wise man nothing is foreign or impracticable. A good man deserves to be loved. Men of worth are friends. Make allies of men who are at once brave and just. Virtue is a weapon that cannot be taken away. It is better to be with a handful of good men fighting against all the bad, than with hosts of bad men against a handful of good men. Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes. Esteem an honest man above a kinsman. Virtue is the same for women as for men. Good actions are fair and evil actions foul. Count all wickedness foreign and alien.
1.12. Ἀναγράφει δʼ αὐτοῦ καὶ Διοκλῆς ταυτί. τῷ σοφῷ ξένον οὐδὲν οὐδʼ ἄπορον. ἀξιέραστος ὁ ἀγαθός· οἱ σπουδαῖοι φίλοι· συμμάχους ποιεῖσθαι τοὺς εὐψύχους ἅμα καὶ δικαίους· ἀναφαίρετον ὅπλον ἡ ἀρετή· κρεῖττόν ἐστι μετʼ ὀλίγων ἀγαθῶν πρὸς ἅπαντας τοὺς κακοὺς ἢ μετὰ πολλῶν κακῶν πρὸς ὀλίγους ἀγαθοὺς μάχεσθαι. προσέχειν τοῖς ἐχθροῖς· πρῶτοι γὰρ τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων αἰσθάνονται. τὸν δίκαιον περὶ πλείονος ποιεῖσθαι τοῦ συγγενοῦς· ἀνδρὸς καὶ γυναικὸς ἡ αὐτὴ ἀρετή· τἀγαθὰ καλά, τὰ κακὰ αἰσχρά· τὰ πονηρὰ νόμιζε πάντα ξενικά.
1.13. Wisdom is a most sure stronghold which never crumbles away nor is betrayed. Walls of defence must be constructed in our own impregnable reasonings. He used to converse in the gymnasium of Cynosarges (White hound) at no great distance from the gates, and some think that the Cynic school derived its name from Cynosarges. Antisthenes himself too was nicknamed a hound pure and simple. And he was the first, Diocles tells us, to double his cloak and be content with that one garment and to take up a staff and a wallet. Neanthes too asserts that he was the first to double his mantle. Sosicrates, however, in the third book of his Successions of Philosophers says this was first done by Diodorus of Aspendus, who also let his beard grow and used a staff and a wallet.
1.13. Τεῖχος ἀσφαλέστατον φρόνησιν· μήτε γὰρ καταρρεῖν μήτε προδίδοσθαι. τείχη κατασκευαστέον ἐν τοῖς αὑτῶν ἀναλώτοις λογισμοῖς. διελέγετο δʼ ἐν τῷ Κυνοσάργει γυμνασίῳ μικρὸν ἄποθεν τῶν πυλῶν· ὅθεν τινὲς καὶ τὴν κυνικὴν ἐντεῦθεν ὀνομασθῆναι. αὐτός τʼ ἐπεκαλεῖτο Ἁπλοκύων. καὶ πρῶτος ἐδίπλωσε τὸν τρίβωνα, καθά φησι Διοκλῆς, καὶ μόνῳ αὐτῷ ἐχρῆτο· βάκτρον τʼ ἀνέλαβε καὶ πήραν. πρῶτον δὲ καὶ Νεάνθης φησὶ διπλῶσαι θοιμάτιον. Σωσικράτης δʼ ἐν τρίτῃ Διαδοχῶν Διόδωρον τὸν Ἀσπένδιον, καὶ πώγωνα καθεῖναι καὶ πήρᾳ καὶ βάκτρῳ χρῆσθαι.
1.14. Of all the Socratics Antisthenes alone is praised by Theopompus, who says he had consummate skill and could by means of agreeable discourse win over whomsoever he pleased. And this is clear from his writings and from Xenophon’s Banquet. It would seem that the most manly section of the Stoic School owed its origin to him. Hence Athenaeus the epigrammatist writes thus of them: “Ye experts in Stoic story, ye who commit to sacred pages most excellent doctrines—that virtue alone is the good of the soul: for virtue alone saves man’s life and cities. But that Muse that is one of the daughters of Memory approves the pampering of the flesh, which other men have chosen for their aim.”
1.14. Τοῦτον μόνον ἐκ πάντων Σωκρατικῶν Θεόπομπος ἐπαινεῖ καί φησι δεινόν τʼ εἶναι καὶ διʼ ὁμιλίας ἐμμελοῦς ὑπαγαγέσθαι πάνθʼ ὁντινοῦν. δῆλον δʼ ἐκ τῶν συγγραμμάτων κἀκ τοῦ Ξενοφῶντος Συμποσίου. δοκεῖ δὲ καὶ τῆς ἀνδρωδεστάτης Στωικῆς κατάρξαι· ὅθεν καὶ Ἀθήναιος ὁ ἐπιγραμματοποιὸς περὶ αὐτῶν φησὶν οὕτως·ὦ στωικῶν μύθων εἰδήμονες, ὦ πανάρισταδόγματα ταῖς ἱεραῖς ἐνθέμενοι σελίσιν,τὰν ἀρετὰν ψυχᾶς ἀγαθὸν μόνον· ἅδε γὰρ ἀνδρῶνμούνα καὶ βιοτὰν ῥύσατο καὶ πόλιας.σαρκὸς δʼ ἡδυπάθημα, φίλον τέλος ἀνδράσιν ἄλλοις,ἡ μία τῶν Μνήμης ἤνυσε θυγατέρων.
1.15. Antisthenes gave the impulse to the indifference of Diogenes, the continence of Crates, and the hardihood of Zeno, himself laying the foundations of their state. Xenophon calls him the most agreeable of men in conversation and the most temperate in everything else. His writings are preserved in ten volumes. The first includes:A Treatise on Expression, or Styles of Speaking.Ajax, or The Speech of Ajax.Odysseus, or Concerning Odysseus.A Defence of Orestes, or Concerning Forensic Writers.Isography (similar writing), or Lysias and Isocrates.A Reply to the Speech of Isocrates entitled “Without Witnesses.” Vol. 2 includes:
1.15. Οὗτος ἡγήσατο καὶ τῆς Διογένους ἀπαθείας καὶ τῆς Κράτητος ἐγκρατείας καὶ τῆς Ζήνωνος καρτερίας, αὐτὸς ὑποθέμενος τῇ πολιτείᾳ τὰ θεμέλια. ὁ δὲ Ξενοφῶν ἥδιστον μὲν εἶναι περὶ τὰς ὁμιλίας φησὶν αὐτόν, ἐγκρατέστατον δὲ περὶ τἄλλα. Φέρονται δʼ αὐτοῦ συγγράμματα τόμοι δέκα· πρῶτος ἐν ᾧΠερὶ λέξεως ἢ περὶ χαρακτήρων.Αἴας ἢ Αἴαντος λόγος.Ὀδυσσεὺς ἢ περὶ Ὀδυσσέως.Ορέστου ἀπολογία ἢ περὶ τῶν δικογράφων.Ἰσογραφὴ ἢ Λυσίας καὶ Ἰσοκράτης.Πρὸς τὸν Ἰσοκράτους Ἀμάρτυρον. Τόμος δεύτερος ἐν ᾧ Περὶ ζῴων φύσεως.
1.16. Of the Nature of Animals.Of Procreation of Children, or Of Marriage: a discourse on love.Of the Sophists: a work on Physiognomy.On Justice and Courage: a hortative work in three books.Concerning Theognis, making a fourth and a fifth book. In the third volume are treatises:Of the Good.Of Courage.Of Law, or Of a Commonwealth.Of Law, or Of Goodness and Justice.Of Freedom and Slavery.Of Belief.Of the Guardian, or On Obedience.Of Victory: an economic work. In the fourth volume are included:Cyrus.The Greater Heracles, or Of Strength. The fifth contains:Cyrus, or Of Sovereignty.Aspasia. The sixth:Truth.Of Discussion: a handbook of debate.Satho, or Of Contradiction, in three books.On Talk.
1.16. Περὶ παιδοποιίας ἢ περὶ γάμου ἐρωτικός.Περὶ τῶν σοφιστῶν φυσιογνωμονικός.Περὶ δικαιοσύνης καὶ ἀνδρείας προτρεπτικὸς πρῶτος, δεύτερος, τρίτος.Περὶ Θεόγνιδος δʼ εʼ. Τόμος τρίτος ἐν ᾧΠερὶ ἀγαθοῦ.Περὶ ἀνδρείας.Περὶ νόμου ἢ περὶ πολιτείας.Περὶ νόμου ἢ περὶ καλοῦ καὶ δικαίου.Περὶ ἐλευθερίας καὶ δουλείας.Περὶ πίστεως.Περὶ ἐπιτρόπου ἢ περὶ τοῦ πείθεσθαι.Περὶ νίκης οἰκονομικός. Τόμος τέταρτος ἐν ᾧΚῦρος.Ἡρακλῆς ὁ μείζων ἢ περὶ ἰσχύος.Τόμος πέμπτος ἐν ᾧΚῦρος ἢ περὶ βασιλείας.Ἀσπασία.Τόμος ἕκτος ἐν ᾧἈλήθεια.Περὶ τοῦ διαλέγεσθαι ἀντιλογικός.Σάθων ἢ περὶ τοῦ ἀντιλέγειν α′ β′ γ′.Περὶ διαλέκτου.
1.17. The seventh volume contains the following:On Education, or On Names, in five books.On the Use of Names: a controversial work.Of Questioning and Answering.Of Opinion and Knowledge, in four books.Of Dying.Of Life and Death.Of Those in the Underworld.Of Nature, in two books.A Problem concerning Nature, two books.Opinions, or The Controversialist.Problems about Learning. In the eighth volume are:On Music.On Commentators.On Homer.On Wickedness and Impiety.On Calchas.On the Scout.On Pleasure. The ninth volume contains:Of the Odyssey.Of the Minstrel’s Staff.Athena, or Of Telemachus.Of Helen and Penelope.Of Proteus.Cyclops, or Of Odysseus.
1.17. Τόμος ἕβδομος ἐν ᾧΠερὶ παιδείας ἢ ὀνομάτων α′ β′ γ′ δ′ ε′.Περὶ ὀνομάτων χρήσεως ἐριστικός.Περὶ ἐρωτήσεως καὶ ἀποκρίσεως.Περὶ δόξης καὶ ἐπιστήμης α′ β′ γ′ δ′.Περὶ τοῦ ἀποθανεῖν.Περὶ ζωῆς καὶ θανάτου.Περὶ τῶν ἐν ᾅδου.Περὶ φύσεως α′ β′.Ἐρώτημα περὶ φύσεως β′.Δόξαι ἢ ἐριστικός.Περὶ τοῦ μανθάνειν προβλήματα. Τόμος ὄγδοος ἐν ᾧΠερὶ μουσικῆς.Περὶ ἐξηγητῶν.Περὶ Ὁμήρου.Περὶ ἀδικίας καὶ ἀσεβείας.Περὶ Κάλχαντος.Περὶ κατασκόπου.Περὶ ἡδονῆς. Τόμος ἔνατος ἐν ᾧΠερὶ Ὀδυσσείας.Περὶ τῆς ῥάβδου.Αθηνᾶ ἢ περὶ Τηλεμάχου.Περὶ Ἑλένης καὶ Πηνελόπης.Περὶ Πρωτέως.Κύκλωψ ἢ περὶ Ὀδυσσέως.
1.18. Of the Use of Wine, or Of Intoxication, or Of the Cyclops.Of Circe.Of Amphiaraus.Of Odysseus, Penelope and the Dog. The contents of the tenth volume are:Heracles, or Midas.Heracles, or Of Wisdom or Strength.Cyrus, or The Beloved.Cyrus, or The Scouts.Menexenus, or On Ruling.Alcibiades.Archelaus, or Of Kingship. This is the list of his writings. Timon finds fault with him for writing so much and calls him a prolific trifler. He died of disease just as Diogenes, who had come in, inquired of him, “Have you need of a friend?” Once too Diogenes, when he came to him, brought a dagger. And when Antisthenes cried out, “Who will release me from these pains?” replied, “This,” showing him the dagger. “I said,” quoth the other, “from my pains, not from life.”
1.18. Περὶ οἴνου χρήσεως ἢ περὶ μέθης ἢ περὶ τοῦ Κύκλωπος.Περὶ Κίρκης.Περὶ Ἀμφιαράου.Περὶ τοῦ Ὀδυσσέως καὶ Πηνελόπης καὶ περὶ τοῦ κυνός. Τόμος δέκατος ἐν ᾧἩρακλῆς ἢ Μίδας.Ἡρακλῆς ἢ περὶ φρονήσεως ἢ ἰσχύος.Κῦρος ἢ ἐρώμενος.Κῦρος ἢ κατάσκοποι.Μενέξενος ἢ περὶ τοῦ ἄρχειν.Ἀλκιβιάδης.Ἀρχέλαος ἢ περὶ βασιλείας. Καὶ ταῦτα μέν ἐστιν ἃ συνέγραψεν. Ὧι Τίμων διὰ τὸ πλῆθος ἐπιτιμῶν παντοφυῆ φλέδονά φησιν αὐτόν. ἐτελεύτησε δὲ ἀρρωστίᾳ· ὅτε καὶ Διογένης εἰσιὼν πρὸς αὐτὸν ἔφη, μήτι χρεία φίλου; καί ποτε παρʼ αὐτὸν ξιφίδιον ἔχων εἰσῄει. τοῦ δʼ εἰπόντος, τίς ἂν ἀπολύσειέ με τῶν πόνων; δείξας τὸ ξιφίδιον, ἔφη, τοῦτο· καὶ ὅς, τῶν πόνων, εἶπον, οὐ τοῦ ζῆν.
1.19. It was thought that he showed some weakness in bearing his malady through love of life. And here are my verses upon him: “Such was your nature, Antisthenes, that in your lifetime you were a very bulldog to rend the heart with words, if not with teeth. Yet you died of consumption. Maybe some one will say, What of that? We must anyhow have some guide to the world below.” There have been three other men named Antisthenes: one a follower of Heraclitus, another a native of Ephesus, and the third of Rhodes, a historian. And whereas we have enumerated the pupils of Aristippus and of Phaedo, we will now append an account of the Cynics and Stoics who derive from Antisthenes. And let it be in the following order.
1.19. ἐδόκει γάρ πως μαλακώτερον φέρειν τὴν νόσον ὑπὸ φιλοζωίας. καὶ ἔστιν ἡμῶν εἰς αὐτὸν οὕτως ἔχον·τὸν βίον ἦσθα κύων, Ἀντίσθενες, ὧδε πεφυκὼςὥστε δακεῖν κραδίην ῥήμασιν, οὐ στόμασιν·ἀλλʼ ἔθανες φθισικός, τάχʼ ἐρεῖ τις ἴσως· τί δὲ τοῦτο;πάντως εἰς Ἀΐδην δεῖ τινʼ ὁδηγὸν ἔχειν. Γεγόνασι δὲ καὶ ἄλλοι Ἀντισθένεις τρεῖς· Ἡρακλείτειος εἷς, καὶ ἕτερος Ἐφέσιος, καὶ Ῥόδιός τις ἱστορικός. Ἐπειδὴ δὲ τοὺς ἀπʼ Ἀριστίππου διεληλύθαμεν καὶ Φαίδωνος, νῦν ἑλκύσωμεν τοὺς ἀπʼ Ἀντισθένους κυνικούς τε καὶ στωικούς. καὶ ἐχέτω ὧδε.
2.20. Diogenes was a native of Sinope, son of Hicesius, a banker. Diocles relates that he went into exile because his father was entrusted with the money of the state and adulterated the coinage. But Eubulides in his book on Diogenes says that Diogenes himself did this and was forced to leave home along with his father. Moreover Diogenes himself actually confesses in his Pordalus that he adulterated the coinage. Some say that having been appointed to superintend the workmen he was persuaded by them, and that he went to Delphi or to the Delian oracle in his own city and inquired of Apollo whether he should do what he was urged to do. When the god gave him permission to alter the political currency, not understanding what this meant, he adulterated the state coinage, and when he was detected, according to some he was banished, while according to others he voluntarily quitted the city for fear of consequences.
2.20. Διογένης Ἱκεσίου τραπεζίτου Σινωπεύς. φησὶ δὲ Διοκλῆς, δημοσίαν αὐτοῦ τὴν τράπεζαν ἔχοντος τοῦ πατρὸς καὶ παραχαράξαντος τὸ νόμισμα, φυγεῖν. Εὐβουλίδης δʼ ἐν τῷ Περὶ Διογένους αὐτόν φησι Διογένην τοῦτο πρᾶξαι καὶ συναλᾶσθαι τῷ πατρί. οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ καὶ αὐτὸς περὶ αὑτοῦ φησιν ἐν τῷ Πορδάλῳ ὡς παραχαράξαι τὸ νόμισμα. ἔνιοι δʼ ἐπιμελητὴν γενόμενον ἀναπεισθῆναι ὑπὸ τῶν τεχνιτῶν καὶ ἐλθόντα εἰς Δελφοὺς ἢ εἰς τὸ Δήλιον ἐν τῇ πατρίδι Ἀπόλλωνος πυνθάνεσθαι εἰ ταῦτα πράξει ἅπερ ἀναπείθεται· τοῦ δὲ συγχωρήσαντος τὸ πολιτικὸν νόμισμα, οὐ συνείς, τὸ κέρμα ἐκιβδήλευσε καὶ φωραθείς, ὡς μέν τινες, ἐφυγαδεύθη, ὡς δέ τινες, ἑκὼν ὑπεξῆλθε φοβηθείς.
2.21. One version is that his father entrusted him with the money and that he debased it, in consequence of which the father was imprisoned and died, while the son fled, came to Delphi, and inquired, not whether he should falsify the coinage, but what he should do to gain the greatest reputation; and that then it was that he received the oracle. On reaching Athens he fell in with Antisthenes. Being repulsed by him, because he never welcomed pupils, by sheer persistence Diogenes wore him out. Once when he stretched out his staff against him, the pupil offered his head with the words, “Strike, for you will find no wood hard enough to keep me away from you, so long as I think you’ve something to say.” From that time forward he was his pupil, and, exile as he was, set out upon a simple life.
2.21. ἔνιοι δέ φασι παρὰ τοῦ πατρὸς αὐτὸν λαβόντα τὸ νόμισμα διαφθεῖραι· καὶ τὸν μὲν δεθέντα ἀποθανεῖν, τὸν δὲ φυγεῖν ἐλθεῖν τʼ εἰς Δελφοὺς καὶ πυνθανόμενον οὐκ εἰ παραχαράξει, ἀλλὰ τί ποιήσας ἐνδοξότατος ἔσται, οὕτω λαβεῖν τὸν χρησμὸν τοῦτον. Γενόμενος δὲ Ἀθήνησιν Ἀντισθένει παρέβαλε. τοῦ δὲ διωθουμένου διὰ τὸ μηδένα προσίεσθαι, ἐξεβιάζετο τῇ προσεδρίᾳ. καί ποτε τὴν βακτηρίαν ἐπανατειναμένου αὐτῷ τὴν κεφαλὴν ὑποσχών, παῖε, εἶπεν· οὐ γὰρ εὑρήσεις οὕτω σκληρὸν ξύλον ᾧ με ἀπείρξεις ἕως ἄν τι φαίνῃ λέγων. τοὐντεῦθεν διήκουσεν αὐτοῦ καὶ ἅτε φυγὰς ὢν ὥρμησεν ἐπὶ τὸν εὐτελῆ βίον.
2.22. Through watching a mouse running about, says Theophrastus in the Megarian dialogue, not looking for a place to lie down in, not afraid of the dark, not seeking any of the things which are considered to be dainties, he discovered the means of adapting himself to circumstances. He was the first, say some, to fold his cloak because he was obliged to sleep in it as well, and he carried a wallet to hold his victuals, and he used any place for any purpose, for breakfasting, sleeping, or conversing. And then he would say, pointing to the portico of Zeus and the Hall of Processions, that the Athenians had provided him with places to live in.
2.22. Μῦν θεασάμενος διατρέχοντα, καθά φησι Θεόφραστος ἐν τῷ Μεγαρικῷ, καὶ μήτε κοίτην ἐπιζητοῦντα μήτε σκότος εὐλαβούμενον ἢ ποθοῦντά τι τῶν δοκούντων ἀπολαυστῶν, πόρον ἐξεῦρε τῆς περιστάσεως. τρίβωνα διπλώσας πρῶτος κατά τινας διὰ τὸ ἀνάγκην ἔχειν καὶ ἐνεύδειν αὐτῷ, πήραν τʼ ἐκομίσατο, ἔνθα αὐτῷ τὰ σιτία ἦν, καὶ παντὶ τόπῳ ἐχρῆτο εἰς πάντα, ἀριστῶν τε καὶ καθεύδων καὶ διαλεγόμενος. ὅτε καὶ τοὺς Ἀθηναίους ἔφασκε, δεικνὺς τὴν τοῦ Διὸς στοὰν καὶ τὸ Πομπεῖον, αὐτῷ κατεσκευακέναι ἐνδιαιτᾶσθαι.
2.23. He did not lean upon a staff until he grew infirm; but afterwards he would carry it everywhere, not indeed in the city, but when walking along the road with it and with his wallet; so say Olympiodorus, once a magistrate at Athens, Polyeuctus the orator, and Lysanias the son of Aeschrio. He had written to some one to try and procure a cottage for him. When this man was a long time about it, he took for his abode the tub in the Metroön, as he himself explains in his letters. And in summer he used to roll in it over hot sand, while in winter he used to embrace statues covered with snow, using every means of inuring himself to hardship.
2.23. βακτηρίᾳ δʼ ἐπεστηρίζετο ἀσθενήσας· ἔπειτα μέντοι καὶ διὰ παντὸς ἐφόρει, οὐ μὴν ἐν ἄστει, ἀλλὰ καθʼ ὁδὸν αὐτῇ τε καὶ τῇ πήρᾳ, καθά φησιν Ἀθηνόδωρος ὁ Ἀθηναίων προστατήσας καὶ Πολύευκτος ὁ ῥήτωρ καὶ Λυσανίας ὁ Αἰσχρίωνος. ἐπιστείλας δέ τινι οἰκίδιον αὐτῷ προνοήσασθαι, βραδύνοντος, τὸν ἐν τῷ Μητρῴῳ πίθον ἔσχεν οἰκίαν, ὡς καὶ αὐτὸς ἐν ταῖς ἐπιστολαῖς διασαφεῖ. καὶ θέρους μὲν ἐπὶ ψάμμου ζεστῆς ἐκυλινδεῖτο, χειμῶνος δʼ ἀνδριάντας κεχιονισμένους περιελάμβανε, πανταχόθεν ἑαυτὸν συνασκῶν.
2.24. He was great at pouring scorn on his contemporaries. The school of Euclides he called bilious, and Plato’s lectures waste of time, the performances at the Dionysia great peep-shows for fools, and the demagogues the mob’s lacqueys. He used also to say that when he saw physicians, philosophers and pilots at their work, he deemed man the most intelligent of all animals; but when again he saw interpreters of dreams and diviners and those who attended to them, or those who were puffed up with conceit of wealth, he thought no animal more silly. He would continually say that for the conduct of life we need right reason or a halter.
2.24. Δεινός τʼ ἦν κατασοβαρεύσασθαι τῶν ἄλλων. καὶ τὴν μὲν Εὐκλείδου σχολὴν ἔλεγε χολήν, τὴν δὲ Πλάτωνος διατριβὴν κατατριβήν, τοὺς δὲ Διονυσιακοὺς ἀγῶνας μεγάλα θαύματα μωροῖς ἔλεγε καὶ τοὺς δημαγωγοὺς ὄχλου διακόνους. ἔλεγε δὲ καὶ ὡς ὅτε μὲν ἴδοι κυβερνήτας ἐν τῷ βίῳ καὶ ἰατροὺς καὶ φιλοσόφους, συνετώτατον εἶναι τῶν ζῴων νομίζειν τὸν ἄνθρωπον· ὅτε δὲ πάλιν ὀνειροκρίτας καὶ μάντεις καὶ τοὺς προσέχοντας τούτοις ἢ τοὺς ἐπὶ δόξῃ καὶ πλούτῳ πεφυσημένους, οὐδὲν ματαιότερον νομίζειν ἀνθρώπου. συνεχές τε ἔλεγεν εἰς τὸν βίον παρεσκευάσθαι δεῖν λόγον ἢ βρόχον.
2.25. Observing Plato one day at a costly banquet taking olives, “How is it,” he said, “that you the philosopher who sailed to Sicily for the sake of these dishes, now when they are before you do not enjoy them?” “Nay, by the gods, Diogenes,” replied Plato, “there also for the most part I lived upon olives and such like.” “Why then,” said Diogenes, “did you need to go to Syracuse? Was it that Attica at that time did not grow olives?” But Favorinus in his Miscellaneous History attributes this to Aristippus. Again, another time he was eating dried figs when he encountered Plato and offered him a share of them. When Plato took them and ate them, he said, “I said you might share them, not that you might eat them all up.”
2.25. Καί ποτε Πλάτωνα ἐν δείπνῳ πολυτελεῖ καταοήσας ἐλάας ἁψάμενον, τί, φησίν, ὁ σοφὸς εἰς Σικελίαν πλεύσας τῶν τραπεζῶν τούτων χάριν, νῦν παρακειμένων οὐκ ἀπολαύεις; καὶ ὅς, ἀλλὰ νὴ τοὺς θεούς, φησί, Διόγενες, κἀκεῖ τὰ πολλὰ πρὸς ἐλάας καὶ τὰ τοιαῦτα ἐγινόμην. ὁ δέ, τί οὖν ἔδει πλεῖν εἰς Συρακούσας; ἢ τότε ἡ Ἀττικὴ οὐκ ἔφερεν ἐλάας; Φαβωρῖνος δέ φησιν ἐν Παντοδαπῇ ἱστορίᾳ Ἀρίστιππον εἰπεῖν τοῦτο. καὶ ἄλλοτε ἰσχάδας ἐσθίων ἀπήντετʼ αὐτῷ φησί τε, ἔξεστί σοι μετασχεῖν· τοῦ δὲ λαβόντος καὶ φαγόντος, ἔφη, μετασχεῖν εἶπον, οὐ καταφαγεῖν.
2.26. And one day when Plato had invited to his house friends coming from Dionysius, Diogenes trampled upon his carpets and said, “I trample upon Plato’s vainglory.” Plato’s reply was, “How much pride you expose to view, Diogenes, by seeming not to be proud.” Others tell us that what Diogenes said was, “I trample upon the pride of Plato,” who retorted, “Yes, Diogenes, with pride of another sort.” Sotion, however, in his fourth book makes the Cynic address this remark to Plato himself. Diogenes once asked him for wine, and after that also for some dried figs; and Plato sent him a whole jar full. Then the other said, “If some one asks you how many two and two are, will you answer, Twenty? So, it seems, you neither give as you are asked nor answer as you are questioned.” Thus he scoffed at him as one who talked without end.
2.26. Πατῶν αὐτοῦ ποτε τὰ στρώματα κεκληκότος φίλους παρὰ Διονυσίου, ἔφη, πατῶ τὴν Πλάτωνος κενοσπουδίαν· πρὸς ὃν ὁ Πλάτων, ὅσον, ὦ Διόγενες, τοῦ τύφου διαφαίνεις, δοκῶν μὴ τετυφῶσθαι. οἱ δέ φασι τὸν Διογένην εἰπεῖν, πατῶ τὸν Πλάτωνος τῦφον· τὸν δὲ φάναι, ἑτέρῳ γε τύφῳ, Διόγενες· Σωτίων δʼ ἐν τῷ τετάρτῳ φησὶ τοῦτο πρὸς αὐτὸν εἰπεῖν τὸν Πλάτωνα τὸν κύνα. Διογένης οἶνόν ποτʼ ᾔτησεν αὐτόν, τότε δὲ καὶ ἰσχάδας. ὁ δὲ κεράμιον ὅλον ἔπεμψεν αὐτῷ· καὶ ὅς, σύ, φησίν, ἐὰν ἐρωτηθῇς δύο καὶ δύο πόσα ἐστίν, Εἴκοσιν ἀποκρινῇ; οὕτως οὔτε πρὸς τὰ αἰτούμενα δίδως οὔτε πρὸς τὰ ἐρωτώμενʼ ἀποκρίνῃ. ἔσκωψε δὴ ὡς ἀπεραντολόγον.
2.27. Being asked where in Greece he saw good men, he replied, “Good men nowhere, but good boys at Lacedaemon.” When one day he was gravely discoursing and nobody attended to him, he began whistling, and as people clustered about him, he reproached them with coming in all seriousness to hear nonsense, but slowly and contemptuously when the theme was serious. He would say that men strive in digging and kicking to outdo one another, but no one strives to become a good man and true. And he would wonder that the grammarians should investigate the ills of Odysseus, while they were ignorant of their own. Or that the musicians should tune the strings of the lyre, while leaving the dispositions of their own souls discordant;
2.27. Ἐρωτηθεὶς ποῦ τῆς Ἑλλάδος ἴδοι ἀγαθοὺς ἄνδρας, ἄνδρας μέν, εἶπεν, οὐδαμοῦ, παῖδας δʼ ἐν Λακεδαίμονι. σπουδαιολογουμένῳ ποτὲ ὡς οὐδεὶς προσῄει, ἐπέβαλε τερετίζειν· ἀθροισθέντων δέ, ὠνείδισεν ὡς ἐπὶ μὲν τοὺς φληνάφους ἀφικνουμένων σπουδαίως, ἐπὶ δὲ τὰ σπουδαῖα βραδυνόντων [ὀλιγώρως]. ἔλεγέ τε περὶ μὲν τοῦ παρορύττειν καὶ λακτίζειν ἀγωνίζεσθαι τοὺς ἀνθρώπους, περὶ δὲ καλοκἀγαθίας μηδένα. τούς τε γραμματικοὺς ἐθαύμαζε τὰ μὲν τοῦ Ὀδυσσέως κακὰ ἀναζητοῦντας, τὰ δʼ ἴδια ἀγνοοῦντας. καὶ μὴν καὶ τοὺς μουσικοὺς τὰς μὲν ἐν τῇ λύρᾳ χορδὰς ἁρμόττεσθαι, ἀνάρμοστα δʼ ἔχειν τῆς ψυχῆς τὰ ἤθη·
2.28. that the mathematicians should gaze at the sun and the moon, but overlook matters close at hand; that the orators should make a fuss about justice in their speeches, but never practise it; or that the avaricious should cry out against money, while inordinately fond of it. He used also to condemn those who praised honest men for being superior to money, while themselves envying the very rich. He was moved to anger that men should sacrifice to the gods to ensure health and in the midst of the sacrifice should feast to the detriment of health. He was astonished that when slaves saw their masters were gluttons, they did not steal some of the viands.
2.28. τοὺς μαθηματικοὺς ἀποβλέπειν μὲν πρὸς τὸν ἥλιον καὶ τὴν σελήνην, τὰ δʼ ἐν ποσὶ πράγματα παρορᾶν· τοὺς ῥήτορας λέγειν μὲν ἐσπουδακέναι τὰ δίκαια, πράττειν δὲ μηδαμῶς· ἀλλὰ μὴν καὶ τοὺς φιλαργύρους ψέγειν μὲν τὸ ἀργύριον, ὑπεραγαπᾶν δέ. κατεγίνωσκε δὲ καὶ τῶν ἐπαινούντων μὲν τοὺς δικαίους, ὅτι χρημάτων ἐπάνω εἶεν, ζηλούντων δὲ τοὺς πολυχρημάτους. ἐκίνει δʼ αὐτὸν καὶ τὸ θύειν μὲν τοῖς θεοῖς ὑπὲρ ὑγιείας, ἐν αὐτῇ δὲ τῇ θυσίᾳ κατὰ τῆς ὑγιείας δειπνεῖν. ἄγασθαι δὲ καὶ τῶν δούλων οἳ λαβροφαγοῦντας ὁρῶντες τοὺς δεσπότας μηδὲν ἁρπάζοιεν τῶν ἐσθιομένων.
2.29. He would praise those who were about to marry and refrained, those who intending to go a voyage never set sail, those who thinking to engage in politics do no such thing, those also who purposing to rear a family do not do so, and those who make ready to live with potentates, yet never come near them after all. He used to say, moreover, that we ought to stretch out our hands to our friends with the fingers open and not closed. Menippus in his Sale of Diogenes tells how, when he was captured and put up for sale, he was asked what he could do. He replied, “Govern men.” And he told the crier to give notice in case anybody wanted to purchase a master for himself. Having been forbidden to sit down, “It makes no difference,” said he, “for in whatever position fishes lie, they still find purchasers.”
2.29. ἐπῄνει τοὺς μέλλοντας γαμεῖν καὶ μὴ γαμεῖν, καὶ τοὺς μέλλοντας καταπλεῖν καὶ μὴ καταπλεῖν, καὶ τοὺς μέλλοντας πολιτεύεσθαι καὶ μὴ πολιτεύεσθαι, καὶ τοὺς παιδοτροφεῖν καὶ μὴ παιδοτροφεῖν, καὶ τοὺς παρασκευαζομένους συμβιοῦν τοῖς δυνάσταις καὶ μὴ προσιόντας. ἔλεγε δὲ καὶ δεῖν τὰς χεῖρας ἐπὶ τοὺς φίλους ἐκτείνειν μὴ συγκεκαμμένοις τοῖς δακτύλοις. φησὶ δὲ Μένιππος ἐν τῇ Διογένους Πράσει ὡς ἁλοὺς καὶ πωλούμενος ἠρωτήθη τί οἶδε ποιεῖν. ἀπεκρίνατο, ἀνδρῶν ἄρχειν· καὶ πρὸς τὸν κήρυκα, κήρυσσε, ἔφη, εἴ τις ἐθέλει δεσπότην αὑτῷ πρίασθαι. κωλυθεὶς καθίζεσθαι, οὐδέν, ἔφη, διαφέρει· καὶ γὰρ τοὺς ἰχθῦς ὅπως ἂν κέοιντο πιπράσκεσθαι.
2.30. And he said he marvelled that before we buy a jar or dish we try whether it rings true, but if it is a man are content merely to look at him. To Xeniades who purchased him he said, “You must obey me, although I am a slave; for, if a physician or a steersman were in slavery, he would be obeyed.” Eubulus in his book entitled The Sale of Diogenes tells us that this was how he trained the sons of Xeniades. After their other studies he taught them to ride, to shoot with the bow, to sling stones and to hurl javelins. Later, when they reached the wrestling-school, he would not permit the master to give them full athletic training, but only so much as to heighten their colour and keep them in good condition.
2.30. θαυμάζειν τʼ ἔφη εἰ χύτραν μὲν καὶ λοπάδα ὠνούμενοι κομποῦμεν· ἄνθρωπον δὲ μόνῃ τῇ ὄψει ἀρκούμεθα. ἔλεγε τῷ Ξενιάδῃ τῷ πριαμένῳ αὐτόν, δεῖν πείθεσθαι αὐτῷ, εἰ καὶ δοῦλος εἴη· καὶ γὰρ εἰ ἰατρὸς ἢ κυβερνήτης ἦν δοῦλος, πεισθῆναι ἂν αὐτῷ. Εὔβουλος δέ φησιν ἐν τῷ ἐπιγραφομένῳ Διογένους Πρᾶσις οὕτως ἄγειν τοὺς παῖδας τοῦ Ξενιάδου, μετὰ τὰ λοιπὰ μαθήματα ἱππεύειν, τοξεύειν, σφενδονᾶν, ἀκοντίζειν· ἔπειτʼ ἐν τῇ παλαίστρᾳ οὐκ ἐπέτρεπε τῷ παιδοτρίβῃ ἀθλητικῶς ἄγειν, ἀλλʼ αὐτὸ μόνον ἐρυθήματος χάριν καὶ εὐεξίας.
2.31. The boys used to get by heart many passages from poets, historians, and the writings of Diogenes himself; and he would practise them in every short cut to a good memory. In the house too he taught them to wait upon themselves, and to be content with plain fare and water to drink. He used to make them crop their hair close and to wear it unadorned, and to go lightly clad, barefoot, silent, and not looking about them in the streets. He would also take them out hunting. They on their part had a great regard for Diogenes and made requests of their parents for him. The same Eubulus relates that he grew old in the house of Xeniades, and when he died was buried by his sons. There Xeniades once asked him how he wished to be buried. To which he replied, “On my face.”
2.31. Κατεῖχον δὲ οἱ παῖδες πολλὰ ποιητῶν καὶ συγγραφέων καὶ τῶν αὐτοῦ Διογένους, πᾶσάν τʼ ἔφοδον σύντομον πρὸς τὸ εὐμνημόνευτον ἐπήσκει. ἐν οἴκῳ τʼ ἐδίδασκε διακονεῖσθαι λιτῇ τροφῇ χρωμένους καὶ ὕδωρ πίνοντας, ἐν χρῷ κουρίας τε καὶ ἀκαλλωπίστους εἰργάζετο καὶ ἀχίτωνας καὶ ἀνυποδήτους καὶ σιωπηλοὺς καὶ καθʼ αὑτοὺς βλέποντας ἐν ταῖς ὁδοῖς. ἐξῆγε δʼ αὐτοὺς καὶ ἐπὶ κυνηγέσια. οἱ δὲ καὶ αὐτοῦ Διογένους ἐπιμέλειαν ἐποιοῦντο καὶ πρὸς τοὺς γονέας αἰτητικῶς εἶχον. ὁ δʼ αὐτός φησι παρὰ τῷ Ξενιάδῃ καὶ γηρᾶσαι αὐτὸν καὶ θανόντα ταφῆναι πρὸς τῶν υἱῶν αὐτοῦ. ἔνθα καὶ πυνθανομένου τοῦ Ξενιάδου πῶς αὐτὸν θάψειεν, ἔφη, ἐπὶ πρόσωπον·
2.32. “Why?” inquired the other. “Because,” said he, “after a little time down will be converted into up.” This because the Macedonians had now got the supremacy, that is, had risen high from a humble position. Some one took him into a magnificent house and warned him not to expectorate, whereupon having cleared his throat he discharged the phlegm into the man’s face, being unable, he said, to find a meaner receptacle. Others father this upon Aristippus. One day he shouted out for men, and when people collected, hit out at them with his stick, saying, “It was men I called for, not scoundrels.” This is told by Hecato in the first book of his Anecdotes. Alexander is reported to have said, “Had I not been Alexander, I should have liked to be Diogenes.”
2.32. τοῦ δʼ ἐρομένου διὰ τί; ὅτι μετʼ ὀλίγον, εἶπε, μέλλει τὰ κάτω ἄνω στρέφεσθαι. τοῦτο δὲ διὰ τὸ ἐπικρατεῖν ἤδη τοὺς Μακεδόνας ἢ ἐκ ταπεινῶν ὑψηλοὺς γίνεσθαι. εἰσαγαγόντος τινὸς αὐτὸν εἰς οἶκον πολυτελῆ καὶ κωλύοντος πτύσαι, ἐπειδὴ ἐχρέμψατο, εἰς τὴν ὄψιν αὐτοῦ ἔπτυσεν, εἰπὼν χείρονα τόπον μὴ εὑρηκέναι. οἱ δὲ τοῦτο Ἀριστίππου φασί. φωνήσας ποτέ, ἰὼ ἄνθρωποι, [καὶ] συνελθόντων, καθίκετο τῇ βακτηρίᾳ, εἰπών, ἀνθρώπους ἐκάλεσα, οὐ καθάρματα, ὥς φησιν Ἑκάτων ἐν τῷ πρώτῳ τῶν Χρειῶν. φασὶ δὲ καὶ Ἀλέξανδρον εἰπεῖν ὡς εἴπερ Ἀλέξανδρος μὴ ἐγεγόνειν, ἠθέλησα ἂν Διογένης γενέσθαι.
2.33. The word “disabled” (ἀναπήρους), Diogenes held, ought to be applied not to the deaf or blind, but to those who have no wallet (πήρα). One day he made his way with head half shaven into a party of young revellers, as Metrocles relates in his Anecdotes, and was roughly handled by them. Afterwards he entered on a tablet the names of those who had struck him and went about with the tablet hung round his neck, till he had covered them with ridicule and brought universal blame and discredit upon them. He described himself as a hound of the sort which all men praise, but no one, he added, of his admirers dared go out hunting along with him. When some one boasted that at the Pythian games he had vanquished men, Diogenes replied, “Nay, I defeat men, you defeat slaves.”
2.33. Ἀναπήρους ἔλεγεν οὐ τοὺς κωφοὺς καὶ τυφλούς, ἀλλὰ τοὺς μὴ ἔχοντας πήραν. εἰσελθών ποτε ἡμιξύρητος εἰς νέων συμπόσιον, καθά φησι Μητροκλῆς ἐν ταῖς Χρείαις, πληγὰς ἔλαβε· μετὰ δὲ ἐγγράψας τὰ ὀνόματα εἰς λεύκωμα τῶν πληξάντων περιῄει ἐξημμένος, ἕως αὐτοὺς ὕβρει περιέθηκε καταγινωσκομένους καὶ ἐπιπληττομένους. ἔλεγεν ἑαυτὸν κύνα εἶναι τῶν ἐπαινουμένων, ἀλλὰ μηδένα τολμᾶν τῶν ἐπαινούντων συνεξιέναι ἐπὶ τὴν θήραν. πρὸς τὸν εἰπόντα, Πύθια νικῶ ἄνδρας, ἐγὼ μὲν οὖν, εἶπεν, ἄνδρας, σὺ δʼ ἀνδράποδα.
2.34. To those who said to him, “You are an old man; take a rest,” “What?” he replied, “if I were running in the stadium, ought I to slacken my pace when approaching the goal? ought I not rather to put on speed?” Having been invited to a dinner, he declared that he wouldn’t go; for, the last time he went, his host had not expressed a proper gratitude. He would walk upon snow barefoot and do the other things mentioned above. Not only so; he even attempted to eat meat raw, but could not manage to digest it. He once found Demosthenes the orator lunching at an inn, and, when he retired within, Diogenes said, “All the more you will be inside the tavern.” When some strangers expressed a wish to see Demosthenes, he stretched out his middle finger and said, “There goes the demagogue of Athens.”
2.34. Πρὸς τοὺς εἰπόντας, γέρων εἶ καὶ λοιπὸν ἄνες, τί δέ, ἔφη, εἰ δόλιχον ἔτρεχον, πρὸς τῷ τέλει ἔδει με ἀνεῖναι καὶ μὴ μᾶλλον ἐπιτεῖναι; κληθεὶς ἐπὶ δεῖπνον οὐκ ἔφη παρέσεσθαι· μηδὲ γὰρ πρῴην αὐτῷ χάριν ἐγνωκέναι. γυμνοῖς ποσὶ χιόνα ἐπάτει καὶ τἄλλα ὅσα ἄνω προείρηται· καὶ ὠμὰ δὲ κρέα ἐπεχείρησε φαγεῖν, ἀλλʼ οὐ διῴκησε. κατέλαβέ ποτε Δημοσθένην τὸν ῥήτορα ἐν πανδοκείῳ ἀριστῶντα. τοῦ δʼ ὑποχωροῦντος, τοσούτῳ μᾶλλον, ἔφη, ἔσῃ ἐν τῷ πανδοκείῳ. ξένων δέ ποτε θεάσασθαι θελόντων Δημοσθένην, τὸν μέσον δάκτυλον ἐκτείνας, οὗτος ὑμῖν, ἔφη, ἐστὶν ὁ Ἀθηναίων δημαγωγός.
2.35. Some one dropped a loaf of bread and was ashamed to pick it up; whereupon Diogenes, wishing to read him a lesson, tied a rope to the neck of a wine-jar and proceeded to drag it across the Ceramicus. He used to say that he followed the example of the trainers of choruses; for they too set the note a little high, to ensure that the rest should hit the right note. Most people, he would say, are so nearly mad that a finger makes all the difference. For, if you go along with your middle finger stretched out, some one will think you mad, but, if it’s the little finger, he will not think so. Very valuable things, said he, were bartered for things of no value, and vice versa. At all events a statue fetches three thousand drachmas, while a quart of barley-flour is sold for two copper coins.
2.35. ἐκβαλόντος δʼ ἄρτον τινὸς καὶ αἰσχυνομένου ἀνελέσθαι, βουλόμενος αὐτὸν νουθετῆσαι, κεράμου τράχηλον δήσας ἔσυρε διὰ τοῦ Κεραμεικοῦ. Μιμεῖσθαι ἔλεγε τοὺς χοροδιδασκάλους· καὶ γὰρ ἐκείνους ὑπὲρ τόνον ἐνδιδόναι ἕνεκα τοῦ τοὺς λοιποὺς ἅψασθαι τοῦ προσήκοντος τόνου. τοὺς πλείστους ἔλεγε παρὰ δάκτυλον μαίνεσθαι· ἐὰν οὖν τις τὸν μέσον προτείνας πορεύηται, δόξει τῳ μαίνεσθαι, ἐὰν δὲ τὸν λιχανόν, οὐκέτι. τὰ πολλοῦ ἄξια τοῦ μηδενὸς ἔλεγε πιπράσκεσθαι καὶ ἔμπαλιν· ἀνδριάντα γοῦν τρισχιλίων πιπράσκεσθαι, χοίνικα δʼ ἀλφίτων δύο χαλκῶν.
2.36. To Xeniades, who purchased him, he said, “Come, see that you obey orders.” When he quoted the line, “Backward the streams flow to their founts,” Diogenes asked, “If you had been ill and had purchased a doctor, would you then, instead of obeying him, have said ‘Backward the streams flow to their founts’”? Some one wanted to study philosophy under him. Diogenes gave him a tunny to carry and told him to follow him. And when for shame the man threw it away and departed, some time after on meeting him he laughed and said, “The friendship between you and me was broken by a tunny.” The version given by Diocles, however, is as follows. Some one having said to him, “Lay your commands upon us, Diogenes,” he took him away and gave him a cheese to carry, which cost half an obol. The other declined; whereupon he remarked, “The friendship between you and me is broken by a little cheese worth half an obol.”
2.36. Τῷ πριαμένῳ αὐτὸν Ξενιάδῃ φησί, ἄγε ὅπως τὸ προσταττόμενον ποιήσεις. τοῦ δʼ εἰπόντος, ἄνω ποταμῶν χωροῦσι παγαί, εἰ δὲ ἰατρὸν ἐπρίω νοσῶν, οὐκ ἄν, ἔφη, αὐτῷ ἐπείθου, ἀλλʼ εἶπες ἂν ὡς ἄνω ποταμῶν χωροῦσι παγαί; ἤθελέ τις παρʼ αὐτῷ φιλοσοφεῖν· ὁ δέ οἱ σαπέρδην δοὺς ἐκέλευσεν ἀκολουθεῖν. ὡς δʼ ὑπʼ αἰδοῦς ῥίψας ἀπῆλθε, μετὰ χρόνον ὑπαντήσας αὐτῷ καὶ γελάσας λέγει, τὴν σὴν καὶ ἐμὴν φιλίαν σαπέρδης διέλυσε. Διοκλῆς δʼ οὕτως ἀναγράφει. εἰπόντος τινὸς αὐτῷ, ἐπίταττε ἡμῖν, Διόγενες, ἀπαγαγὼν αὐτὸν ἡμιωβολίου τυρὸν ἐδίδου φέρειν· ἀρνησαμένου δέ, τὴν σήν, ἔφη, καὶ ἐμὴν φιλίαν ἡμιωβολίου τυρίδιον διαλέλυκε.