How comes it to pass, Maecenas, that no one lives content with his condition, whether reason gave it him, or chance threw it in his way; [but] praises those who follow different pursuits? "O happy merchants!" says the soldier, oppressed with years, and now broken down in his limbs through excess of labor. On the other side, the merchant, when the south winds toss his ship [cries], "Warfare is preferable;" for why? the engagement is begun, and in an instant there comes a speedy death or a joyful victory. The lawyer praises the farmer's state when the client knocks at his door by cockcrow. He who, having entered into a recognizance, is dragged, from the country into the city, cries, "Those only are happy who live in the city." The other instances of this kind (they are so numerous) would weary out the loquacious Fabius; not to keep you in suspense, hear to what an issue I will bring the matter. If any god should say, "Lo! I will effect what you desire: you, that were just now a soldier, shall be a merchant; you, lately a lawyer [shall be] a farmer. Do ye depart one way, and ye another, having exchanged the parts you are to act in life. How now! Why do you stand?" They are unwilling; and yet it is in their power to be happy.
Qui fit, Maecenas, ut nemo, quam sibi sortemseu Ratio dederit seu Fors obiecerit, illacontentus vivat, laudet diversa sequentis?‘o fortunati mercatores’ gravis annismiles ait, multo iam fractus membra labore.contra mercator navim iactantibus Austris,‘militia est potior. quid enim? concurritur: horaemomento cita mors venit aut victoria laeta.’agricolam laudat iuris legumque peritus,sub galli cantum consultor ubi ostia pulsat;ille, datis vadibus qui rure extractus in urbem est,solos felicis viventis clamat in urbe.cetera de genere hoc (adeo sunt multa) loquacemdelassare valent Fabium. ne te morer, audi,quo rem deducam. si quis Deus ‘en ego’ dicat‘iam faciam quod voltis: eris tu, qui modo miles,mercator; tu, consultus modo, rusticus: hinc vos,vos hinc mutatis discedite partibus. eia,quid statis?’ nolint. atqui licet esse beatis.
What reason can be assigned, but that Jupiter should deservedly distend both his cheeks in indignation, and declare that for the future he will not be so indulgent as to lend an ear to their prayers? But further, that I may not run over this in a laughing manner, like those [who treat] on ludicrous subjects (though what hinders one being merry, while telling the truth? as good-natured teachers at first give cakes to their boys, that they may be willing to learn their first rudiments: raillery, however, apart, let us investigate serious matters) lie that turns the heavy glebe with the hard plowshare, this fraudulent tavern-keeper, the soldier, and the sailors, who dauntless run through every sea, profess that they endure toil with this intention, that as old men they may retire into a secure resting-place, when once they have gotten together a sufficient provision. Thus the little ant (for she is an example), of great industry, carries in her mouth whatever she is able, and adds to the heap which she piles up, by no means ignorant and not careless for the future. Which [ant, nevertheless], as soon as Aquarius saddens the changed year, never creeps abroad, but wisely makes use of those stores which were provided beforehand: while neither sultry summer, nor winter, fire, ocean, sword, can drive you from gain. You surmount every obstacle, that no other man may be richer than yourself. What pleasure is it for you, trembling to deposit an immense weight of silver and gold in the earth dug up by stealth? Because, if you should lessen it, it may be reduced to a paltry farthing. But unless that be the case, what beauty has an accumulated hoard?
quid causae est, merito quin illis Iuppiter ambasiratus buccas inflet neque se fore posthactam facilem dicat, votis ut praebeat aurem?praeterea, ne sic ut qui iocularia ridenspercurram — quamquam ridentem dicere verumquid vetat? ut pueris olim dant crustula blandidoctores, elementa velint ut discere prima —sed tamen amoto quaeramus seria ludo:ille gravem duro terram qui vertit aratro,perfidus hic caupo, miles nautaeque, per omneaudaces mare qui currunt, hac mente laboremsese ferre, senes ut in otia tuta recedant,aiunt, cum sibi sint congesta cibaria: sicutparvola—nam exemplo est—magni formica laborisore trahit quodcumque potest atque addit acervoquem struit, haud ignara ac non incauta futuri.quae, simul inversum contristat Aquarius annum,non usquam prorepit et illis utitur antequaesitis sapiens, cum te neque fervidus aestusdemoveat lucro neque hiems, ignis mare ferrum,nil obstet tibi, dum ne sit te ditior alter.quid iuvat inmensum te argenti pondus et aurifurtim defossa timidum deponere terra?quod, si conminuas, vilem redigatur ad assem?at ni id fit, quid habet pulcri constructus acervus?
Though your thrashing-floor should yield a hundred thousand bushels of corn, your belly will not on that account contain more than mine: just as if it were your lot to carry on your loaded shoulder the basket of bread among slaves, you would receive no more [for your own share] than he who bore no part of the burthen. Or tell me, what is it to the purpose of that man, who lives within the compass of nature, whether he plow a hundred or a thousand acres? "But it is still delightful to take out of a great hoard." While you leave us to take as much out of a moderate store why should you extol your granaries, more than our cornbaskets? As if you had occasion for no more than a pitcher or glass of water, and should say, "I had rather draw [so much] from a great river, than the very same quantity from this little fountain." Hence it comes to pass, that the rapid Aufidus carries away, together with the bank, such men as an abundance more copious than what is just delights. But he who desires only so much as is sufficient, neither drinks water fouled with the mud, nor loses his life in the waves. But a great majority of mankind, misled by a wrong desire, cry, "No sum is enough; because you are esteemed in proportion to what you possess." What can one do to such a tribe as this? Why, bid them be wretched, since their inclination prompts them to it. As a certain person is recorded [to have lived] at Athens, covetous and rich, who was wont to despise the talk of the people in this manner: "The crowd hiss me; but I applaud myself at home, as soon as I contemplate my money in my chest." The thirsty Tantalus catches at the streams, which elude his lips. Why do you laugh? The name changed, the tale is told of you. You sleep upon your bags, heaped up on every side, gaping over them, and are obliged to abstain from them, as if they were consecrated things, or to amuse yourself with them as you would with pictures. Are you ignorant of what value money has, what use it can afford? Bread, herbs, a bottle of wine may be purchased; to which [necessaries], add [such others], as, being withheld, human nature would be uneasy with itself. What, to watch half dead with terror, night and day, to dread profligate thieves, fire, and your slaves, lest they should run away and plunder you; is this delightful? I should always wish to be very poor in possessions held upon these terms.
milia frumenti tua triverit area centum:non tuus hoc capiet venter plus ac meus: ut, sireticulum panis venalis inter onustoforte vehas umero, nihilo plus accipias quamqui nil portarit. vel dic quid referat intranaturae finis viventi, iugera centum anmille aret? ‘at suave est ex magno tollere acervo.’dum ex parvo nobis tantundem haurire relinquas,cur tua plus laudes cumeris granaria nostris?ut tibi si sit opus liquidi non amplius urnavel cyatho ac dicas ‘magno de flumine mallemquam ex hoc fonticulo tantundem sumere.’ eo fit,plenior ut siquos delectet copia iusto,cum ripa simul avolsos ferat Aufidus acer.at qui tantuli eget quanto est opus, is neque limoturbatam haurit aquam neque vitam amittit in undis.at bona pars hominum decepta cupidine falso‘nil satis est’, inquit, ‘quia tanti quantum habeas sis’:quid facias illi? iubeas miserum esse, libenterquatenus id facit: ut quidam memoratur Athenissordidus ac dives, populi contemnere vocessic solitus: ‘populus me sibilat, at mihi plaudoipse domi, simul ac nummos contemplor in arca.’Tantalus a labris sitiens fugientia captatflumina — quid rides? mutato nomine de tefabula narratur: congestis undique saccisindormis inhians et tamquam parcere sacriscogeris aut pictis tamquam gaudere tabellis.nescis, quo valeat nummus, quem praebeat usum?panis ematur, holus, vini sextarius, addequis humana sibi doleat natura negatis.an vigilare metu exanimem, noctesque diesqueformidare malos fures, incendia, servos,ne te conpilent fugientes, hoc iuvat? horumsemper ego optarim pauperrimus esse bonorum.
But if your body should be disordered by being seized with a cold, or any other casualty should confine you to your bed, have you one that will abide by you, prepare medicines, entreat the physician that he would set you upon your feet, and restore you to your children and dear relations? Neither your wife, nor your son, desires your recovery; all your neighbors, acquaintances, [nay the very] boys and girls hate you. Do you wonder that no one tenders you the affection which you do not merit, since you prefer your money to every thing else? If you think to retain, and preserve as friends, the relations which nature gives you, without taking any pains; wretch that you are, you lose your labor equally, as if any one should train an ass to be obedient to the rein, and run in the Campus [Martius]. Finally, let there be some end to your search; and, as your riches increase, be in less dread of poverty; and begin to cease from your toil, that being acquired which you coveted: nor do as did one Umidius (it is no tedious story), who was so rich that he measured his money, so sordid that he never clothed himself any better than a slave; and, even to his last moments, was in dread lest want of bread should oppress him: but his freed-woman, the bravest of all the daughters of Tyndarus, cut him in two with a hatchet. "What therefore do you persuade me to? That I should lead the life of Naevius, or in such a manner as a Nomentanus?" You are going [now] to make things tally, that are contradictory in their natures. When I bid you not be a miser, I do not order you to become a debauchee or a prodigal.
at si condoluit temptatum frigore corpusaut alius casus lecto te adflixit, habes quiadsideat, fomenta paret, medicum roget, ut tesuscitet ac reddat gnatis carisque propinquis?non uxor salvum te volt, non filius; omnesvicini oderunt, noti, pueri atque puellae.miraris, cum tu argento post omnia ponas,si nemo praestet, quem non merearis, amorem?at si cognatos nullo natura laborequos tibi dat, retinere velis, servareque amicos,infelix operam perdas, ut siquis asellumin campo doceat parentem currere frenis.denique sit finis quaerendi, cumque habeas plus,pauperiem metuas minus et finire laboremincipias, parto quod avebas, ne facias quodUmidius quidam; non longa est fabula: divesut metiretur nummos, ita sordidus, ut senon umquam servo melius vestiret, ad usquesupremum tempus, ne se penuria victusopprimeret, metuebat. at hunc liberta securidivisit medium, fortissima Tyndaridarum.‘quid mi igitur suades? ut vivam Naevius aut sicut Nomentanus?’ pergis pugnantia secumfrontibus adversis conponere: non ego avarumcum veto te, fieri vappam iubeo ac nebulonem:
There is some difference between the case of Tanais and his son-in-law Visellius: there is a mean in things; finally, there are certain boundaries, on either side of which moral rectitude can not exist. I return now whence I digressed. Does no one, after the miser's example, like his own station, but rather praise those who have different pursuits; and pines, because his neighbor's she-goat bears a more distended udder; nor considers himself in relation to the greater multitude of poor; but labors to surpass, first one, and then another? Thus the richer man is always an obstacle to one that is hastening [to be rich]: as when the courser whirls along the chariot, dismissed from the place of starting; the charioteer presses upon those horses which outstrip his own, despising him that is left behind coming on among the last. Hence it is, that we rarely find a man who can say he has lived happy, and content with his past life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.
est inter Tanain quiddam socerumque Viselli:est modus in rebus, sunt certi denique fines,quos ultra citraque nequit consistere rectum.illuc, unde abii, redeo, qui nemo, ut avarus,se probet ac potius laudet diversa sequentis,quodque aliena capella gerat distentius uber,tabescat neque se maiori pauperiorumturbae conparet, hunc atque hunc superare laboret.sic festinanti semper locupletior obstat,ut, cum carceribus missos rapit ungula currus,instat equis auriga suos vincentibus, illumpraeteritum temnens extremos inter euntem.inde fit, ut raro, qui se vixisse beatumdicat et exacto contentus tempore vitacedat uti conviva satur, reperire queamus.
Enough for the present: nor will I add one word more, lest you should suspect that I have plundered the escrutoire of the blear-eyed Crispinus. The tribes of female flute-players, quacks, vagrants, mimics, blackguards; all this set is sorrowful and dejected on account of the death of the singer Tigellius; for he was liberal [toward them]. On the other hand, this man, dreading to be called a spendthrift, will not give a poor friend wherewithal to keep off cold and pinching hunger. If you ask him why he wickedly consumes the noble estate of his grandfather and father in tasteless gluttony, buying with borrowed money all sorts of dainties; he answers, because he is unwilling to be reckoned sordid, or of a mean spirit: he is praised by some, condemned by others. Fufidius, wealthy in lands, wealthy in money put out at interest, is afraid of having the character of a rake and spendthrift. This fellow deducts 5 per cent. interest from the principal [at the time of lending]; and, the more desperate in his circumstances any one is, the more severely he pinches him: he hunts out the names of young fellows that have just put on the toga virilis under rigid fathers. Who does not cry out, O sovereign Jupiter! when he has heard [of such knavery]? But [you will say, perhaps,] this man expends upon himself in proportion to his gain. You can hardly believe how little a friend he is to himself: insomuch that the father, whom Terence's comedy introduces as living miserable after he had caused his son to run away from him, did not torment himself worse than he Now if any one should ask, "To what does this matter tend?" To this: while fools shun [one sort of] vices, they fall upon their opposite extremes. Malthinus walks with his garments trailing upon the ground; there is another droll fellow who [goes] with them tucked up even to his middle; Rufillus smells like perfume itself, Gorgonius like a he-goat. There is no mean. There are some who would not keep company with a lady, unless her modest garment perfectly conceal her feet. Another, again, will only have such as take their station in a filthy brothel. When a certain noted spark came out of a stew, the divine Cato [greeted] him with this sentence: "Proceed (says he) in your virtuous course. For, when once foul lust has inflamed the veins, it is right for young fellows to come hither, in comparison of their meddling with other men's wives." I should not be willing to be commended on such terms, says Cupiennius, an admirer of the silken vail. Ye, that do not wish well to the proceedings of adulterers, it is worth your while to hear how they are hampered on all sides; and that their pleasure, which happens to them but seldom, is interrupted with a great deal of pain, and often in the midst of very great dangers. One has thrown himself long from the top of a house; another has been whipped almost to death: a third, in his flight, has fallen into a merciless gang of thieves: another has paid a fine, [to avoid] corporal [punishment]: the lowest servants have treated another with the vilest indignities. Moreover, this misfortune happened to a certain person, he entirely lost his manhood. Every body said, it was with justice: Galba denied it. But how much safer is the traffic among [women] of the second rate! I mean the freed-women: after which Sallustius is not less mad, than he who commits adultery. But if he had a mind to be good and generous, as far as his estate and reason would direct him, and as far as a man might be liberal with moderation; he would give a sufficiency, not what would bring upon himself ruin and infamy. However, he hugs himself in this one [consideration]; this he delights in, this he extols: "I meddle with no matron." Just as Marsaeus, the lover of Origo he who gives his paternal estate and seat to an actress, says, "I never meddle with other men's wives." But you have with actresses, you have with common strumpets: whence your reputation derives a greater perdition, than your estate. What, is it abundantly sufficient to avoid the person, and not the [vice] which is universally noxious? To lose one's good name, to squander a father's effects, is in all cases an evil. What is the difference, [then, with regard to yourself,] whether you sin with the person of a matron, a maiden, or a prostitute? Villius, the son-in-law of Sylla (by this title alone he was misled), suffered [for his commerce] with Fausta an adequate and more than adequate punishment, by being drubbed and stabbed, while he was shut out, that Longarenus might enjoy her within. Suppose this [young man's] mind had addressed him in the words of his appetite, perceiving such evil consequences: "What would you have? Did I ever, when, my ardor was at the highest, demand a woman descended from a great consul, and covered with robes of quality?" What could he answer? Why, "the girl was sprung from an illustrious father." But how much better things, and how different from this, does nature, abounding in stores of her own, recommend; if you would only make a proper use of them, and not confound what is to be avoided with that which is desirable! Do you think it is of no consequence, whether your distresses arise from your own fault or from [a real deficiency] of things? Wherefore, that you may not repent [when it is too late], put a stop to your pursuit after matrons; whence more trouble is derived, than you can obtain of enjoyment from success. Nor has [this particular matron], amid her pearls and emeralds, a softer thigh, or limbs more delicate than yours, Cerinthus; nay, the prostitutes are frequently preferable. Add to this, that [the prostitute] bears about her merchandize without any varnish, and openly shows what she has to dispose of; nor, if she has aught more comely than ordinary, does she boast and make an ostentation of it, while she is industrious to conceal that which is offensive. This is the custom with men of fortune: when they buy horses, thy inspect them covered: that, if a beautiful forehand (as often) be supported by a tender hoof, it may not take in the buyer, eager for the bargain, because the back is handsome, the head little, and the neck stately. This they do judiciously. Do not you, [therefore, in the same manner] contemplate the perfections of each [fair one's] person with the eyes of Lynceus; but be blinder than Hypsaea, when you survey such parts as are deformed. [You may cry out,] "0 what a leg! O, what delicate arms!" But [you suppress] that she is low-hipped, short-waisted, with a long nose, and a splay foot. A man can see nothing but the face of a matron, who carefully conceals her other charms, unless it be a Catia. But if you will seek after forbidden charms (for the [circumstance of their being forbidden] makes you mad after them), surrounded as they are with a fortification, many obstacles will then be in your way: such as guardians, the sedan, dressers, parasites, the long robe hanging down to the ankles, and covered with an upper garment; a multiplicity of circumstances, which will hinder you from having a fair view. The other throws no obstacle in your way; through the silken vest you may discern her, almost as well as if she was naked; that she has neither a bad leg, nor a disagreeable foot, you may survey her form perfectly with your eye. Or would you choose to have a trick put upon you, and your money extorted, before the goods are shown you? [But perhaps you will sing to me these verses out of Callimachus.] As the huntsman pursues the hare in the deep snow, but disdains to touch it when it is placed before him: thus sings the rake, and applies it to himself; my love is like to this, for it passes over an easy prey, and pursues what flies from it. Do you hope that grief, and uneasiness, and bitter anxieties, will be expelled from your breast by such verses as these? Would it not be more profitable to inquire what boundary nature has affixed to the appetites, what she can patiently do without, and what she would lament the deprivation of, and to separate what is solid from what is vain? What! when thirst parches your jaws, are you solicitous for golden cups to drink out of? What! when you are hungry, do you despise every thing but peacock and turbot? When your passions are inflamed, and a common gratification is at hand, would you rather be consumed with desire than possess it? I would not: for I love such pleasures as are of easiest attainment. But she whose language is, "By and by," "But for a small matter more," "If my husband should be out of the way," [is only] for petitmaitres: and for himself, Philodemus says, he chooses her, who neither stands for a great price, nor delays to come when she is ordered. Let her be fair, and straight, and so far decent as not to appear desirous of seeming fairer than nature has made her.
iam satis est. ne me Crispini scrinia lippiconpilasse putes, verbum non amplius addam.Ambubaiarum collegia, pharmacopolae,mendici, mimae, balatrones, hoc genus omnemaestum ac sollicitum est cantoris morte Tigelli.quippe benignus erat. contra hic, ne prodigus essedicatur metuens, inopi dare nolit amico,frigus quo duramque famem propellere possit.hunc si perconteris, avi cur atque parentispraeclaram ingrata stringat malus ingluvie rem,omnia conductis coemens obsonia nummis,sordidus atque animi quod parvi nolit haberi,respondet. laudatur ab his, culpatur ab illis.Fufidius vappae famam timet ac nebulonis[dives agris, dives positis in fenore nummis]:quinas hic capiti mercedes exsecat atquequanto perditior quisque est, tanto acrius urget;nomina sectatur modo sumpta veste virilisub patribus duris tironum. ‘maxime’ quis non‘Iuppiter’ exclamat simul atque audivit? ‘at in sepro quaestu sumptum facit hic?’ vix credere possis,quam sibi non sit amicus, ita ut pater ille, Terentifabula quem miserum gnato vixisse fugatoinducit, non se peius cruciaverit atque hic.siquis nunc quaerat ‘quo res haec pertinet?’ illuc:dum vitant stulti vitia, in contraria currunt.Maltinus tunicis demissis ambulat, est quiinguen ad obscaenum subductis usque; facetuspastillos Rufillus olet, Gorgonius hircum:nil medium est. sunt qui nolint tetigisse nisi illasquarum subsuta talos tegat instita veste,contra alius nullam nisi olenti in fornice stantem.quidam notus homo cum exiret fornice, ‘mactevirtute esto’ inquit sententia dia Catonis;‘nam simul ac venas inflavit taetra libido,huc iuvenes aequom est descendere, non alienaspermolere uxores.’ ‘nolim laudarier’ inquit‘sic me’ mirator cunni Cupiennius albi.audire est operae pretium, procedere rectequi moechis non voltis, ut omni parte laborentutque illis multo corrupta dolore voluptasatque haec rara cadat dura inter saepe pericla.hic se praecipitem tecto dedit, ille flagellisad mortem caesus, fugiens hic decidit acrempraedonum in turbam, dedit hic pro corpore nummos,hunc perminxerunt calones; quin etiam illudaccidit, ut cuidam testis caudamque salacemdemeterent ferro. ‘iure’ omnes: Galba negabat.tutior at quanto merx est in classe secunda,libertinarum dico — Sallustius in quasnon minus insanit quam qui moechatur. at hic si,qua res, qua ratio suaderet quaque modestemunifico esse licet, vellet bonus atque benignusesse, daret quantum satis esset nec sibi damnodedecorique foret. verum hoc se amplectitur uno,hoc amat et laudat: ‘matronam nullam ego tango’,ut quondam Marsaeus, amator Originis ille,qui patrium mimae donat fundumque laremque,‘nil fuerit mi’ inquit ‘cum uxoribus umquam alienis.’verum est cum mimis, est cum meretricibus, undefama malum gravius quam res trahit. an tibi abundepersonam satis est, non illud, quidquid ubiqueofficit, evitare? bonam deperdere famam,rem patris oblimare malum est ubicumque. quid inter-est in matrona, ancilla peccesne togata?Villius in Fausta, Sullae gener, hoc miser unonomine deceptus, poenas dedit usque superquequam satis est, pugnis caesus ferroque petitus,exclusus fore, cum Longarenus foret intus.huic si muttonis verbis mala tanta videntidiceret haec animus ‘quid vis tibi? numquid ego a temagno prognatum deposco consule cunnumvelatumque stola, mea cum conferbuit ira?’quid responderet? ‘magno patre nata puella est.’at quanto meliora monet pugnantiaque istisdives opis natura suae, tu si modo rectedispensare velis ac non fugienda petendisinmiscere. tuo vitio rerumne labores,nil referre putas? quare, ne paeniteat te,desine matronas sectarier, unde laborisplus haurire mali est quam ex re decerpere fructus.nec magis huic, inter niveos viridisque lapillossit licet, hoc, Cerinthe, tuum tenerum est femur aut crusrectius, atque etiam melius persaepe togatae.adde huc, quod mercem sine fucis gestat, apertequod venale habet ostendit nec, siquid honesti est,iactat habetque palam, quaerit, quo turpia celet.regibus hic mos est, ubi equos mercantur: opertosinspiciunt, ne si facies, ut saepe, decoramolli fulta pede est, emptorem inducat hiantem,quod pulcrae clunes, breve quod caput, ardua cervix.hoc illi recte: ne corporis optima Lynceicontemplere oculis, Hypsaea caecior illa,quae mala sunt, spectes. ‘o crus, o bracchia.’ verumdepygis, nasuta, brevi latere ac pede longo est.matronae praeter faciem nil cernere possis,cetera, ni Catia est, demissa veste tegentis.si interdicta petes, vallo circumdata — nam tehoc facit insanum —, multae tibi tum officient res,custodes, lectica, ciniflones, parasitae,ad talos stola demissa et circumdata palla,plurima, quae invideant pure adparere tibi rem.altera, nil obstat: cois tibi paene videre estut nudam, ne crure malo, ne sit pede turpi;metiri possis oculo latus. an tibi mavisinsidias fieri pretiumque avellier antequam mercem ostendi? leporem venator ut altain nive sectetur, positum sic tangere nolit,cantat et adponit ‘meus est amor huic similis; namtransvolat in medio posita et fugientia captat.’hiscine versiculis speras tibi posse doloresatque aestus curasque gravis e pectore pelli?nonne, cupidinibus statuat natura modum quem,quid latura sibi, quid sit dolitura negatum,quaerere plus prodest et inane abscindere soldo?num, tibi cum faucis urit sitis, aurea quaerispocula? num esuriens fastidis omnia praeterpavonem rhombumque? tument tibi cum inguina, num, siancilla aut verna est praesto puer, impetus in quemcontinuo fiat. malis tentigine rumpi?non ego; namque parabilem amo Venerem facilemque.illam ‘post paulo’ ‘sed pluris’ ‘si exierit vir’gallis, hanc Philodemus ait sibi, quae neque magnostet pretio neque cunctetur cum est iussa venire.candida rectaque sit, munda hactenus, ut neque longanec magis alba velit quam dat natura videri.
When I am in the company of such an one, she is my Ilia and Aegeria; I give her any name. Nor am I apprehensive, while I am in her company, lest her husband should return from the country; the door should be broken open; the dog should bark; the house, shaken, should resound on all sides with a great noise; the woman, pale [with fear] should bound away from me; lest the maid, conscious [of guilt], should cry out, she is undone; lest she should be in apprehension for her limbs, the detected wife for her portion, I for myself; lest I must run away with my clothes all loose, and bare-footed, for fear my money, or my person, or, finally my character should be demolished. It is a dreadful thing to be caught: I could prove this, even if Fabius were the judge.
haec ubi supposuit dextro corpus mihi laevom,Ilia et Egeria est; do nomen quodlibet illi.nec vereor, ne, dum futuo, vir rure recurrat,ianua frangatur, latret canis, undique magnopulsa domus strepitu resonet, vepallida lectodesiliat mulier, miseram se conscia clamet,cruribus haec metuat, doti deprensa, egomet mi.discincta tunica fugiendum est et pede nudo,ne nummi pereant aut puga aut denique fama.deprendi miserum est: Fabio vel iudice vincam.
THIS is a fault common to all singers, that among their friends they never are inclined to sing when they are asked, [but] unasked, they never desist. Tigellius, that Sardinian, had this [fault]. Had Caesar, who could have forced him to compliance, besought him on account of his father's friendship and his own, he would have had no success; if he himself was disposed, he would chant Io Bacche over and over, from the beginning of an entertainment to the very conclusion of it; one while at the deepest pitch of his voice, at another time with that which answers to the highest string of the tetrachord. There was nothing uniform in that fellow; frequently would he run along, as one flying from an enemy; more frequently [he walked], as if he bore [in procession] the sacrifice of Juno: he had often two hundred slaves, often but ten: one while talking of kings and potentates, every thing that was magnificent; at another — "Let me have a three-legged table, and a cellar of clean salt, and a gown which, though coarse, may be sufficient to keep out the cold." Had you given ten hundred thousand sesterces to this moderate man who was content with such small matters, in five days' time there would be nothing in his bags. He sat up at nights, [even] to day-light; he snored out all the day. Never was there any thing so inconsistent with itself. Now some person may say to me, "What are you? Have you no faults?" Yes, others; but others, and perhaps of a less culpable nature.
Omnibus hoc vitium est cantoribus, inter amicosut numquam inducant animum cantare rogati,iniussi numquam desistant. sardus habebatille Tigellius hoc. Caesar, qui cogere posset,si peteret per amicitiam patris atque suam, nonquicquam proficeret; si conlibuisset, ab ovousque ad mala citaret ‘Io Bacchae’ modo summavoce, modo hac, resonat quae chordis quattuor ima.nil aequale homini fuit illi: saepe velut quicurrebat fugiens hostem, persaepe velut quiIunonis sacra ferret; habebat saepe ducentos,saepe decem servos; modo reges atque tetrarchas,omnia magna loquens, modo ‘sit mihi mensa tripes etconcha salis puri et toga, quae defendere frigusquamvis crassa queat.’ deciens centena dedisseshuic parco, paucis contento, quinque diebusnil erat in loculis; noctes vigilabat ad ipsummane, diem totum stertebat; nil fuit unquamsic inpar sibi. nunc aliquis dicat mihi ‘quid tu?nullane habes vitia?’ immo alia et fortasse minora.Maenius absentem Novium cum carperet, ‘heus tu’quidam ait ‘ignoras te an ut ignotum dare nobisverba putas?’
When Maenius railed at Novius in his absence: "Hark ye," says a certain person, "are you ignorant of yourself? or do you think to impose yourself upon us a person we do not know?" "As for me, I forgive myself," quoth Maenius. This is a foolish and impious self-love, and worthy to be stigmatized. When you look over your own vices, winking at them, as it were, with sore eyes; why are you with regard to those of your friends as sharp-sighted as an eagle, or the Epidaurian serpent? But, on the other hand, it is your lot that your friends should inquire into your vices in turn. [A certain person] is a little too hasty in his temper; not well calculated for the sharp-witted sneers of these men: he may be made a jest of because his gown hangs awkwardly, he [at the same time] being trimmed in a very rustic manner, and his wide shoe hardly sticks to his foot. But he is so good, that no man can be better; but he is your friend: but an immense genius is concealed under this unpolished person of his. Finally, sift yourself thoroughly, whether nature has originally sown the seeds of any vice in you, or even an ill habit [has done it]. For the fern, fit [only] to be burned, overruns the neglected fields.
‘egomet mi ignosco’ Maenius inquit.stultus et inprobus hic amor est dignusque notari.cum tua pervideas oculis mala lippus inunctis,cur in amicorum vitiis tam cernis acutumquam aut aquila aut serpens Epidaurius? at tibi contraevenit, inquirant vitia ut tua rursus et illi.iracundior est paulo, minus aptus acutisnaribus horum hominum; rideri possit eo quodrusticius tonso toga defluit et male laxusin pede calceus haeret: at est bonus, ut melior virnon alius quisquam, at tibi amicus, at ingenium ingensinculto latet hoc sub corpore. denique te ipsumconcute, numqua tibi vitiorum inseverit olimnatura aut etiam consuetudo mala; namqueneglectis urenda filix innascitur agris.illuc praevertamur, amatorem quod amicaeturpia decipiunt caecum vitia aut etiam ipsa haecdelectant, veluti Balbinum polypus Agnae.
Let us return from our digression. As his mistress's disagreeable failings escape the blinded lover, or even give him pleasure (as Hagna's wen does to Balbinus), I could wish that we erred in this manner with regard to friendship, and that virtue had affixed a reputable appellation to such an error. And as a father ought not to contemn his son, if he has any defect, in the same manner we ought not [to contemn] our friend. The father calls his squinting boy, a pretty leering rogue; and if any man has a little despicable brat, such as the abortive Sisyphus formerly was, he calls it a sweet moppet: this [child] with distorted legs, [the father] in a fondling voice calls one of the Vari; and another, who is club-footed, he calls a Scaurus. [Thus, does] this friend of yours live more sparingly than ordinarily? Let him be styled a man of frugality. Is another impertinent, and apt to brag a little? He requires to be reckoned entertaining to his friends. But [another] is too rude, and takes greater liberties than are fitting. Let him be esteemed a man of sincerity and bravery. Is he too fiery, let him be numbered among persons of spirit.
vellem in amicitia sic erraremus et istierrori nomen virtus posuisset honestum.ac pater ut gnati, sic nos debemus amicisiquod sit vitium non fastidire. strabonemappellat paetum pater, et pullum, male parvossicui filius est, ut abortivus fuit olimSisyphus; hunc Varum distortis cruribus, illumbalbutit Scaurum pravis fultum male talis.parcius hic vivit: frugi dicatur; ineptuset iactantior hic paulo est: concinnus amicispostulat ut videatur; at est truculentior atqueplus aequo liber: simplex fortisque habeatur;caldior est: acris inter numeretur. opinor,haec res et iungit iunctos et servat amicos.at nos virtutes ipsas invertimus atquesincerum furimus vas incrustare.
This method, in my opinion, both unites friends, and preserves them in a state of union. But we invert the very virtues themselves, and are desirous of throwing dirt upon the untainted vessel. Does a man of probity live among us? he is a person of singular diffidence; we give him the name of a dull and fat-headed fellow. Does this man avoid every snare, and lay himself open to no ill-designing villain; since we live amid such a race, where keen envy and accusations are flourishing? Instead of a sensible and wary man, we call him a disguised and subtle fellow. And is any one more open, [and less reserved] than usual in such a degree as I often have presented myself to you, Maecenas, so as perhaps impertinently to interrupt a person reading, or musing, with any kind of prate? We cry, "[this fellow] actually wants common sense." Alas! how indiscreetly do we ordain a severe law against ourselves! For no one is born without vices: he is the best man who is encumbered with the least. When my dear friend, as is just, weighs my good qualities against my bad ones, let him, if he is willing to be beloved, turn the scale to the majority of the former (if I have indeed a majority of good qualities), on this condition, he shall be placed in the same balance. He who requires that his friend should not take offense at his own protuberances, will excuse his friend's little warts. It is fair that he who entreats a pardon for his own fault, should grant one in his turn.
probus quisnobiscum vivit, multum demissus homo: illitardo cognomen, pingui damus. hic fugit omnisinsidias nullique malo latus obdit apertum,cum genus hoc inter vitae versemur, ubi acrisinvidia atque vigent ubi crimina: pro bene sanoac non incauto fictum astutumque vocamus.simplicior quis et est, qualem me saepe libenterobtulerim tibi, Maecenas, ut forte legentemaut tacitum inpellat quovis sermone: ‘molestus,communi sensu plane caret’ inquimus. eheu,quam temere in nosmet legem sancimus iniquam.nam vitiis nemo sine nascitur; optimus ille est,qui minimis urgetur. amicus dulcis, ut aequum est,cum mea conpenset vitiis bona, pluribus hisce,si modo plura mihi bona sunt, inclinet, amarisi volet: hac lege in trutina ponetur eadem.qui, ne tuberibus propriis offendat amicum,postulat, ignoscet verrucis illius: aequum estpeccatis veniam poscentem reddere rursus.denique, quatenus excidi penitus vitium irae,cetera item nequeunt stultis haerentia, cur nonponderibus modulisque suis ratio utitur ac resut quaeque est, ita suppliciis delicta coercet?
Upon the whole, forasmuch as the vice anger, as well as others inherent in foolish [mortals], can not be totally eradicated, why does not human reason make use of its own weights and measures; and so punish faults, as the nature of the thing demands? If any man should punish with the cross a slave, who being ordered to take away the dish should gorge the half-eaten fish and warm sauce; he would, among people in their senses, be called a madder man than Labeo. How much more irrational and heinous a crime is this! Your friend has been guilty of a small error (which, unless you forgive, you ought to be reckoned a sour, ill-natured fellow), you hate and avoid him, as a debtor does Ruso; who, when the woeful calends come upon the unfortunate man, unless he lrocures the interest or capital by hook or by crook, is compelled to hear his miserable stories with his neck stretched out like a slave. [Should my friend] in his liquor water my couch, or has he thrown down a jar carved by the hands of Evander: shall he for this [trifling] affair, or because in his hunger he has taken a chicken before me out of my part of the dish, be the less agreeable friend to me? [If so], what could I do if he was guilty of theft, or had betrayed things committed to him in confidence, or broken his word. They who are pleased [to rank all] faults nearly on an equality, are troubled when they come to the truth of the matter: sense and morality are against them, and utility itself, the mother almost of right and of equity.
siquis eum servum, patinam qui tollere iussussemesos piscis tepidumque ligurrierit ius,in cruce suffigat, Labeone insanior intersanos dicatur. quanto hoc furiosius atquemaius peccatum est: paulum deliquit amicus,quod nisi concedas, habeare insuavis: acerbusodisti et fugis ut Drusonem debitor aeris,qui nisi, cum tristes misero venere Kalendae,mercedem aut nummos unde unde extricat, amarasporrecto iugulo historias captivus ut audit.conminxit lectum potus mensave catillumEvandri manibus tritum deiecit: ob hanc rem,aut positum ante mea quia pullum in parte catinisustulit esuriens, minus hoc iucundus amicussit mihi? quid faciam, si furtum fecerit aut siprodiderit conmissa fide sponsumve negarit?quis paria esse fere placuit peccata, laborant,cum ventum ad verum est: sensus moresque repugnantatque ipsa utilitas, iusti prope mater et aequi.
When [rude] animals, they crawled forth upon the firstformed earth, the mute and dirty herd fought with their nails and fists for their acorn and caves, afterward with clubs, and finally with arms which experience had forged: till they found out words and names, by which they ascertained their language and sensations: thenceforward they began to abstain from war, to fortify towns, and establish laws: that no person should be a thief, a robber, or an adulterer. For before Helen's time there existed [many] a woman who was the dismal cause of war: but those fell by unknown deaths, whom pursuing uncertain venery, as the bull in the herd, the strongest slew. It must of necessity be acknowledged, if you have a mind to turn over the aeras and annals of the world, that laws were invented from an apprehension of the natural injustice [of mankind]. Nor can nature separate what is unjust from what is just, in the same manner as she distinguishes what is good from its reverse, and what is to be avoided from that which is to be sought: nor will reason persuade men to this, that he who breaks down the cabbage-stalk of his neighbor, sins in as great a measure, and in the same manner, as he who steals by night things consecrated to the gods. Let there be a settled standard, that may inflict adequate punishments upon crimes; lest you should persecute any one with the horrible thong, who is only deserving of a slight whipping. For I am not apprehensive, that you should correct with the rod one that deserves to suffer severer stripes; since you assert that pilfering is an equal crime with highway robbery, and threaten that you would prune off with an undistinguishing hook little and great vices, if mankind were to give you the sovereignty over them. If he be rich, who is wise, and a good shoemaker, and alone handsome, and a king, why do you wish for that which you are possessed of? You do not understand what Chrysippus, the father [of your sect], says: "The wise man never made himself shoes nor slippers: nevertheless, the wise man is a shoemaker." How so? In the same manner, though Hermogenes be silent, he is a fine singer, notwithstanding, and an excellent musician: as the subtle [lawyer] Alfenus, after every instrument of his calling was thrown aside, and his shop shut up, was [still] a barber; thus is the wise man of all trades, thus is he a king. O greatest of great kings, the waggish boys pluck you by the beard; whom unless you restrain with your staff, you will be jostled by a mob all about you, and you may wretchedly bark and burst your lungs in vain. Not to be tedious: while you, my king, shall go to the farthing bath, and no guard shall attend you, except the absurd Crispinus; my dear friends will both pardon me in any matter in which I shall foolishly offend, and I in turn will cheerfully put up with their faults; and, though a private man, I shall live more happily than you, a king.
cum prorepserunt primis animalia terris,mutum et turpe pecus, glandem atque cubilia propterunguibus et pugnis, dein fustibus atque ita porropugnabant armis, quae post fabricaverat usus,donec verba, quibus voces sensusque notarent,nominaque invenere; dehinc absistere bello,oppida coeperunt munire et ponere leges,ne quis fur esset neu latro neu quis adulter.nam fuit ante Helenam cunnus taeterrima bellicausa, sed ignotis perierunt mortibus illi,quos Venerem incertam rapientis more ferarumviribus editior caedebat ut in grege taurus.iura inventa metu iniusti fateare necesse est,tempora si fastosque velis evolvere mundi.nec Natura potest iusto secernere iniquum,dividit ut bona diversis, fugienda petendis,nec vincet ratio hoc, tantundem ut peccet idemque,qui teneros caules alieni fregerit hortiet qui nocturnus sacra Divum legerit. adsitregula, peccatis quae poenas inroget aequas,ne scutica dignum horribili sectere flagello.nam ut ferula caedas meritum maiora subireverbera, non vereor, cum dicas esse paris resfurta latrociniis et magnis parva minerisfalce recisurum simili te, si tibi regnumpermittant homines. si dives, qui sapiens est,et sutor bonus et solus formosus et est rex,cur optas quod habes? ‘non nosti, quid pater’ inquit‘Chrysippus dicat: sapiens crepidas sibi numquamnec soleas fecit; sutor tamen est sapiens.’ qui?‘ut quamvis tacet Hermogenes, cantor tamen atqueoptumus est modulator; ut Alfenus vafer omniabiecto instrumento artis clausaque tabernasutor erat: sapiens operis sic optimus omnisest opifex, solus sic rex.’ vellunt tibi barbamlascivi pueri, quos tu nisi fuste coerces,urgeris turba circum te stante miserquerumperis et latras, magnorum maxime regum.ne longum faciam: dum tu quadrante lavatumrex ibis neque te quisquam stipator ineptumpraeter Crispinum sectabitur, et mihi dulcesignoscent, siquid peccaro stultus, amiciinque vicem illorum patiar delicta libenterprivatusque magis vivam te rege beatus.
THE poets Eupolis, and Cratinus, and Aristophanes, and others, who are authors of the ancient comedy, if there was any person deserving to be distinguished for being a rascal or a thief, an adulterer or a cut-throat, or in any shape an infamous fellow, branded him with great freedom. Upon these [models] Lucilius entirely depends, having imitated them, changing only their feet and numbers: a man of wit, of great keenness, inelegant in the composition of verse: for in this respect he was faulty; he would often, as a great feat, dictate two hundred verses in an hour, standing in the same position. As he flowed muddily, there was [always] something that one would wish to remove; he was verbose, and too lazy to endure the fatigue of writing-of writing accurately: for, with regard to the quantity [of his works], I make no account of it. See! Crispinus challenges me even for ever so little a wager. Take, if you dare, take your tablets, and I will take mine; let there be a place, a time, and persons appointed to see fair play: let us see who can write the most. The gods have done a good part by me, since they have framed me of an humble and meek disposition, speaking but seldom, briefly: but do you, [Crispinus,] as much as you will, imitate air which is shut up in leathern bellows, perpetually puffing till the fire softens the iron. Fannius is a happy man, who, of his own accord, has presented his manuscripts and picture [to the Palatine Apollo]; when not a soul will peruse my writings, who am afraid to rehearse in public, on this account, because there are certain persons who can by no means relish this kind [of satiric writing], as there are very many who deserve censure. Single any man out of the crowd; he either labors under a covetous disposition, or under wretched ambition. One is mad in love with married women, another with youths; a third the splendor of silver captivates: Albius is in raptures with brass; another exchanges his merchandize from the rising sun, even to that with which the western regions are warmed: but he is hurried headlong through dangers, as dust wrapped up in a whirlwind; in dread lest he should lose any thing out of his capital, or [in hope] that he may increase his store. All these are afraid of verses, they hate poets. "He has hay on his horn, [they cry;] avoid him at a great distance: if he can but raise a laugh for his own diversion, he will not spare any friend: and whatever he has once blotted upon his paper, he will take a pleasure in letting all the boys and old women know, as they return from the bakehouse or the lake." But, come on, attend to a few words on the other side of the question.
Eupolis atque Cratinus Aristophanesque poetaeatque alii, quorum comoedia prisca virorum est,siquis erat dignus describi, quod malus ac fur,quod moechus foret aut sicarius aut alioquifamosus, multa cum libertate notabant.hinc omnis pendet Lucilius, hosce secutus,mutatis tantum pedibus numerisque, facetus,emunctae naris, durus conponere versus.nam fuit hoc vitiosus: in hora saepe ducentos,ut magnum, versus dictabat stans pede in uno;cum flueret lutulentus, erat quod tollere velles;garrulus atque piger scribendi ferre laborem,scribendi recte: nam ut multum, nil moror. ecce,Crispinus minimo me provocat ‘accipe, si vis,accipe iam tabulas; detur nobis locus, hora,custodes; videamus, uter plus scribere possit.’di bene fecerunt, inopis me quodque pusillifinxerunt animi, raro et perpauca loquentis;at tu conclusas hircinis follibus aurasusque laborantis, dum ferrum molliat ignis,ut mavis, imitare. beatus Fannius ultrodelatis capsis et imagine, cum mea nemoscripta legat, volgo recitare timentis ob hanc rem,quod sunt quos genus hoc minime iuvat, utpote plurisculpari dignos. quemvis media elige turba:aut ob avaritiam aut misera ambitione laborat.hic nuptarum insanit amoribus, hic puerorum:hunc capit argenti splendor; stupet Albius aere;hic mutat merces surgente a sole ad eum, quovespertina tepet regio, quin per mala praecepsfertur uti pulvis collectus turbine, nequidsumma deperdat metuens aut ampliet ut rem.omnes hi metuunt versus, odere poetas.‘faenum habet in cornu, longe fuge; dummodo risumexcutiat sibi, non hic cuiquam parcet amicoet quodcumque semel chartis inleverit, omnisgestiet a furno redeuntis scire lacuqueet pueros et anus.’ agedum pauca accipe contra.primum ego me illorum, dederim quibus esse poetis,excerpam numero: neque enim concludere versumdixeris esse satis neque, siqui scribat uti nossermoni propiora, putes hunc esse poetam.
In the first place, I will except myself out of the number of those I would allow to be poets: for one must not call it sufficient to tag a verse: nor if any person, like me, writes in a style bordering on conversation, must you esteem him to be a poet. To him who has genius, who has a soul of a diviner cast, and a greatness of expression, give the honor of this appellation. On this acount some have raised the question, whether comedy be a poem or not; because an animated spirit and force is neither in the style, nor the subject-matter: bating that it differs from prose by a certain measure, it is mere prose. But [one may object to this, that even in comedy] an inflamed father rages, because his.dissolute son, mad after a prostitute mistress, refuses a wife with a large portion; and (what is an egregious scandal) rambles about drunk with flambeaux by day-light. Yet could Pomponius, were his father alive, hear less severe reproofs! Wherefore it is not sufficient to write verses merely in proper language; which, if you take to pieces, any person may storm in the same manner as the father in the play. If from these verses which I write at this present, or those that Lucilius did formerly, you take away certain pauses and measures, and make that word which was first in order hindermost, by placing the latter [words] before those that preceded [in the verse]; you will not discern the limbs of a poet, when pulled in pieces, in the same manner as you would were you to transpose ever so [these lines of Ennius]:When discord dreadful bursts the brazen bars,And shatters iron locks to thunder forth her wars.
ingenium cui sit, cui mens divinior atque osmagna sonaturum, des nominis huius honorem.idcirco quidam comoedia necne poemaesset, quaesivere, quod acer spiritus ac visnec verbis nec rebus inest, nisi quod pede certodiffert sermoni, sermo merus. ‘at pater ardenssaevit, quod meretrice nepos insanus amicafilius uxorem grandi cum dote recuset,ebrius et, magnum quod dedecus, ambulet antenoctem cum facibus.’ numquid Pomponius istisaudiret leviora, pater si viveret? ergonon satis est puris versum perscribere verbis,quem si dissolvas, quivis stomachetur eodemquo personatus pacto pater. his, ego quae nunc,olim quae scripsit Lucilius, eripias sitempora certa modosque, et quod prius ordine verbum estposterius facias praeponens ultima primis,non, ut si solvas ‘postquam discordia taetrabelli ferratos postis portasque refregit’,invenias etiam disiecti membra poetae.hactenus haec: alias, iustum sit necne poema.nunc illud tantum quaeram, meritone tibi sitsuspectum genus hoc scribendi.
So far of this matter; at another opportunity [I may investigate] whether [a comedy] be a true poem or not: now I shall only consider this point, whether this [satiric] kind of writing be deservedly an object of your suspicion. Sulcius the virulent, and Caprius hoarse with their malignancy, walk [openly], and with their libels too [in their hands]; each of them a singular terror to robbers: but if a man lives honestly and with clean hands, he may despise them both. Though you be like highwaymen, Coelus and Byrrhus, I am not [a common accuser], like Caprius and Sulcius; why should you be afraid of me? No shop nor stall holds my books, which the sweaty hands of the vulgar and of Hermogenes Tigellius may soil. I repeat to nobody, except my intimates, and that when I am pressed; nor any where, and before any body.
Sulcius acerambulat et Caprius, rauci male cumque libellis,magnus uterque timor latronibus; at bene siquiset vivat puris manibus, contemnat utrumque.ut sis tu similis Coeli Birrique latronum,non ego sim Capri neque Sulci: cur metuas me?nulla taberna meos habeat neque pila libellos,quis manus insudet volgi Hermogenisque Tigelli,nec recito cuiquam nisi amicis idque coactus,non ubivis coramve quibuslibet. in medio quiscripta foro recitent, sunt multi quique lavantes:suave locus voci resonat conclusus.
There are many who recite their writings in the middle of the forum; and who [do it] while bathing: the closeness of the place, [it seems,] gives melody to the voice. This pleases coxcombs, who never consider whether they do this to no purpose, or at an unseasonable time. But you, says he, delight to hurt people, and this you do out of a mischievous disposition. From what source do you throw this calumny upon me? Is any one then your voucher, with whom I have lived? lie who backbites his absent friend; [nay more,] who does not defend, at another's accusing him; who affects to raise loud laughs in company, and the reputation of a funny fellow who can feign things he never saw; who can not keep secrets; he is a dangerous man: be you, Roman, aware of him. You may often see it [even in crowded companies], where twelve sup together on three couches; one of which shall delight at any rate to asperse the rest, except him who furnishes the bath; and him too afterward in his liquor, when truth-telling Bacchus opens the secrets of his heart. Yet this man seems entertaining, and well-bred, and frank to you, who are an enemy to the malignant: but do I, if I have laughed bccause the fop Rufillus smells all perfumes, and Gorgonius, like a he-goat, appear invidious and a snarler to you? If by any means mention happen to be made of the thefts of Petillius Capitolinus in your company, you defend him after your manner: [as thus,] Capitolinus has had.me for a companion and a friend from childhood, and being applied to, has done many things on my account: and I am glad that he lives secure in the city; but I wonder, notwithstanding, how he evaded that sentence. This is the very essence of black malignity, this is mere malice itself: which crime, that it shall be far remote from my writings, and prior to them from my mind, I promise, if I can take upon me to promise any thing sincerely of myself. If I shall say any thing too freely, if perhaps too ludicrously, you must favor me by your indulgence with this allowance. For my excellent father inured me to this custom, that by noting each particular vice I might avoid it by the example [of others]. When he exhorted me that I should live thriftily, frugally, and content with what he had provided for me; don't you see, [would he say,] how wretchedly the son of Albius lives? and how miserably Barrus? A strong lesson to hinder any one from squandering away his patrimony. When he would deter me from filthy fondness for a light woman: [take care, said he,] that you do not resemble Sectanus.
inanishoc iuvat, haud illud quaerentis, num sine sensu,tempore num faciant alieno. ‘laedere gaudes’inquit ‘et hoc studio pravus facis.’ unde petitumhoc in me iacis? est auctor quis denique eorum,vixi cum quibus? absentem qui rodit, amicumqui non defendit alio culpante, solutosqui captat risus hominum famamque dicacis,fingere qui non visa potest, conmissa tacerequi nequit: hic niger est, hunc tu, Romane, caveto.saepe tribus lectis videas cenare quaternos,e quibus unus amet quavis aspergere cunctospraeter eum qui praebet aquam; post hunc quoque potus,condita cum verax aperit praecordia Liber:hic tibi comis et urbanus liberque videturinfesto nigris: ego si risi, quod ineptuspastillos Rufillus olet, Gorgonius hircum,lividus et mordax videor tibi? mentio siquaede Capitolini furtis iniecta Petillite coram fuerit, defendas, ut tuus est mos:‘me Capitolinus convictore usus amicoquea puero est causaque mea permulta rogatusfecit et incolumis laetor quod vivit in Urbe;sed tamen admiror, quo pacto iudicium illudfugerit’: hic nigrae sucus lolliginis, haec estaerugo mera; quod vitium procul afore chartis,atque animo prius, ut siquid promittere de mepossum aliud vere, promitto. liberius sidixero quid, si forte iocosius, hoc mihi iuriscum venia dabis: insuevit pater optimus hoc me,ut fugerem exemplis vitiorum quaeque notando.cum me hortaretur, parce frugaliter atqueviverem uti contentus eo quod mi ipse parasset:‘nonne vides, Albi ut male vivat filius utqueBarrus inops? magnum documentum, ne patriam remperdere quis velit.’ a turpi meretricis amorecum deterreret: ‘Sectani dissimilis sis.’ne sequerer moechas, concessa cum Venere utipossem: ‘deprensi non bella est fama Treboni’aiebat.
That I might not follow adulteresses, when I could enjoy a lawful amour: the character, cried he, of Trebonius, who was caught in the fact, is by no means creditable. The philosopher may tell you the reasons for what is better to be avoided, and what to be pursued. It is sufficient for me, if I can preserve the morality traditional from my forefathers, and keep your life and reputation inviolate, so long as you stand in need of a guardian: so soon as age shall have strengthened your limbs and mind, you will swim without cork. In this manner he formed me, as yet a boy: and whether he ordered me to do any particular thing: You have an authority for doing this: [then] he instanced some one out of the select magistrates: or did he forbid me [any thing]; can you doubt, [says he,] whether this thing be dishonorable, and against your interest to be done, when this person and the other is become such a burning shame for his bad character [on these accounts]? As a neighboring funeral dispirits sick gluttons, and through fear of death forces them to have mercy upon themselves; so other men's disgraces often deter tender minds from vices. From this [method of education] I am clear from all such vices, as bring destruction along with them: by lighter foibles, and such as you may excuse, I am possessed. And even from these, perhaps, a maturer age, the sincerity of a friend, or my own judgment, may make great reductions. For neither when I am in bed, or in the piazzas, am I wanting to myself: this way of proceeding is better; by doing such a thing I shall live more comfortably; by this means I shall render myself agreeable to my friends; such a transaction was not clever; what, shall I, at any time, imprudently commit any thing like it? These things I resolve in silence by myself. When I have any leisure, I amuse myself with my papers. This is one of those lighter foibles [I was speaking of]: to which if you do not grant your indulgence, a numerous band of poets shall come, which will take my part (for we are many more in number), and, like the Jews, we will force you to come over to our numerous party.
‘sapiens, vitatu quidque petitusit melius, causas reddet tibi; mi satis est, sitraditum ab antiquis morem servare tuamque,dum custodis eges, vitam famamque tueriincolumem possum; simul ac duraverit aetasmembra animumque tuum, nabis sine cortice.’ sic meformabat puerum dictis et, sive iubebatut facerem quid, ‘habes auctorem, quo facias hoc’unum ex iudicibus selectis obiciebat,sive vetabat, ‘an hoc inhonestum et inutile factunecne sit, addubites, flagret rumore malo cumhic atque ille?’ avidos vicinum funus ut aegrosexanimat mortisque metu sibi parcere cogit,sic teneros animos aliena opprobria saepeabsterrent vitiis. ex hoc ego sanus ab illisperniciem quaecumque ferunt, mediocribus et quisignoscas vitiis teneor. fortassis et istinclargiter abstulerit longa aetas, liber amicus,consilium proprium; neque enim, cum lectulus aut meporticus excepit, desum mihi. ‘rectius hoc est;hoc faciens vivam melius; sic dulcis amicisoccurram; hoc quidam non belle: numquid ego illiinprudens olim faciam simile?’ haec ego mecumconpressis agito labris; ubi quid datur oti,inludo chartis. hoc est mediocribus illisex vitiis unum; cui si concedere nolis,multa poetarum veniat manus, auxilio quaesit mihi — nam multo plures sumus —, ac veluti teIudaei cogemus in hanc concedere turbam.Egressum magna me accepit Aricia Romahospitio modico; rhetor comes Heliodorus,graecorum longe doctissimus;