1. DORIO: So, Myrtale, you shut the door in my face now that I’ve Beggared myself because of you, though, when I brought all those gifts, I was your darling, your man, your lord, your all! But now that I’ve been drained completely dry, and you have found your Bithynian merchant to love you, I’m shut out and stand before your doors in tears, while he enjoys your kisses at night, spending the whole night alone with you, and you say you’re about to have his child. MYRTALE: That’s what riles me most of all, Dorio—the way you keep saying you’ve been generous to me and have Beggared yourself for me. Just start from the beginning and reckon up all the gifts you’ve brought me.
1. ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Νῦν με ἀποκλείεις, ὦ Μυρτάλη, νῦν, ὅτε πένης ἐγενόμην διὰ σέ, ὅτε δέ σοι τοσαῦτα ἐκόμιζον, ἐρώμενος, ἀνήρ, δεσπότης, πάντ' ἦν ἐγώ. ἐπεὶ δ’ ἐγὼ μὲν αὖος ἤδη ἀκριβῶς, σὺ δὲ τὸν Βιθυνὸν ἔμπορον εὕρηκας ἐραστήν, ἀποκλείομαι μὲν ἐγὼ καὶ πρὸ τῶν θυρῶν ἕστηκα δακρύων, ὁ δὲ τῶν νυκτῶν φιλεῖται καὶ μόνος ἔνδον ἐστὶ καὶ παννυχίζεται, καὶ κυεῖν φῂς ἀπ' αὐτοῦ. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Ταῦτά με ἀποπνίγει, Δωρίων, μάλιστα ὁπόταν λέγῃς ὡς πολλὰ ἔδωκας καὶ πένης γεγένησαι δι’ ἐμέ. λόγισαι γοῦν ἅπαντα ἐξ ἀρχῆς ὁπόσα μοι ἐκόμισας.
2. DORIO: An excellent idea, Myrtale; let’s do that. First, a pair of shoes from Sicyon worth two drachmas. Put down two drachmas. MYRTALE: But you spent two nights with me.
2. ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Εὖ γε, ὦ Μυρτάλη, λογισώμεθα. ὑποδήματα ἐκ Σικυῶνος τὸ πρῶτον δύο δραχμῶν· τίθει δύο δραχμάς. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Ἀλλ' ἐκοιμήθης νύκτας δύο.
DORIO: Then, when I came from Syria, a vase of Phoenician perfume, also costing two drachmas, I swear it by Poseidon. MYRTALE: But, when you had to sail, I gave you that little waistcoat to wear while rowing. Epiurus, the officer of the fo’c’sle, had left it here by mistake, when he spent a night with me.
ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Καὶ ὁπότε ἧκον ἐκ Συρίας, ἀλάβαστρον μύρου ἐκ Φοινίκης, δύο καὶ τοῦτο δραχμῶν νὴ τὸν Ποσειδῶ. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Ἐγὼ δέ σοι ἐκπλέοντι τὸ μικρὸν ἐκεῖνο χιτώνιον τὸ μέχρι τῶν μηρῶν, ὡς ἔχοις ἐρέττων, Ἐπιούρου τοῦ πρωρέως ἐκλαθομένου αὐτὸ παρ' ἡμῖν, ὁπότε ἐκάθευδε παρ' ἐμοί.
DORIO: Epiurus recognised it in Samos the other day, and got it back, though, by heaven, we had quite a fight over it. Then I brought you onions from Cyprus, five fish from the Nile, and four perches, on our return from the Bosporus. Oh yes, and a basket with eight ship’s loaves, and a jar of dried figs from Caria, and another time a pair of gilded sandals from Patara, you ungrateful creature! And I remember the time I brought you that great cheese from Gythium. MYRTALE: All this comes to perhaps five drachmas, Dorio.
ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Ἀπέλαβεν αὐτὸ γνωρίσας ὁ Ἐπίουρος πρῴην ἐν Σάμῳ μετὰ πολλῆς γε, ὦ θεοί, τῆς μάχης. κρόμμυα δὲ ἐκ Κύπρου καὶ σαπέρδας πέντε καὶ πέρκας τέτταρας, ὁπότε κατεπλεύσαμεν ἐκ Βοσπόρου, ἐκόμισά σοι. τί οὖν; καὶ ἄρτους ὀκτὼ ναυτικοὺς ἐν γυργάθῳ ξηροὺς καὶ ἰσχάδων βῖκον ἐκ Καρίας καὶ ὕστερον ἐκ Πατάρων σανδάλια ἐπίχρυσα, ὦ ἀχάριστε· καὶ τυρόν ποτε μέμνημαι τὸν μέγαν ἐκ Γυθίου. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Πέντε ἴσως δραχμῶν, ὦ Δωρίων, πάντα ταῦτα.
3. DORIO: Oh Myrtale, I brought you all a seaman could afford out of his pay. Recently I’ve been put in charge of the starboard hands, and you despise me! Not so long ago, when it was the feast of Aphrodite, didn’t I put a silver drachma at the feet of the goddess on your account? Then again I gave your mother two drachmas for a pair of shoes, and many’s the time I’ve slipped two or even four obols into the hand of Lyde here. All these together amounted to the whole worldly wealth of any sailor. MYRTALE: The onions, you mean, Dorio, and those fish from the Nile?
3. ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Ὦ Μυρτάλη, ὅσα ναύτης ἄνθρωπος ἐδυνάμην μισθοῦ ἐπιπλέων. νῦν γὰρ ἤδη τοίχου ἄρχω τοῦ δεξιοῦ καὶ σὺ ἡμῶν ὑπερορᾷς, πρῴην δὲ ὁπότε τὰ Ἀφροδίσια ἦν, οὐχὶ δραχμὴν ἔθηκα πρὸ τοῖν ποδοῖν τῆς Ἀφροδίτης σοῦ ἕνεκεν ἀργυρᾶν; καὶ πάλιν τῇ μητρὶ εἰς ὑποδήματα δύο δραχμὰς καὶ Λυδῇ ταύτῃ πολλάκις εἰς τὴν χεῖρα νῦν μὲν δύο, νῦν δὲ τέτταρας ὀβολούς. ταῦτα πάντα συντεθέντα οὐσία ναύτου ἀνδρὸς ἦν. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Τὰ κρόμμυα καὶ οἱ σαπέρδαι, ὦ Δωρίων;
DORIO: Yes, I’d nothing more to give you. I shouldn’t be an oarsman, if I were a man of means. Why, I’ve never to this day brought my mother a single head of garlic. I wish you’d told me what gifts you had from the Bithynian. MYRTALE: Well, first take a look at this dress. He bought it, and the thicker of my necklaces.
ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Ναί· οὐ γὰρ εἶχον πλείω κομίζειν· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἤρεττον, εἴ γε πλουτῶν ἐτύγχανον. τῇ μητρὶ δὲ οὐδὲ κεφαλίδα μίαν σκορόδου ἐκόμισα πώποτε. ἡδέως δ’ ἂν ἔμαθον ἅτινά σοι παρὰ Βιθυνοῦ τὰ δῶρα. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Τουτὶ πρῶτον ὁρᾷς τὸ χιτώνιον; ἐκεῖνος ἐπρίατο, καὶ τὸν ὅρμον τὸν παχύτερον.
DORIO: It came from him, did it? I knew you’d had it for a long time. MYRTALE: No, the one you knew was much thinner, and had no emeralds. Then there’s these earrings and that rug, and only the other day he gave me two minas, and paid our rent for us. That’s a little different from sandals from Patara or Gythian cheese, or rubbish like that!
ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Ἐκεῖνος; ᾔδειν γάρ σε πάλαι ἔχουσαν. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Ἀλλ' ὃν ᾔδεις, πολὺ λεπτότερος ἦν καὶ σμαράγδους οὐκ εἶχε. καὶ ἐλλόβια ταυτὶ καὶ δάπιδα, καὶ πρῴην δύο μνᾶς, καὶ τὸ ἐνοίκιον κατέβαλεν ὑπὲρ ἡμῶν, οὐ σάνδαλα Παταρικὰ καὶ τυρὸν Γυθιακὸν καὶ φληνάφους.
4. DORIO: But won’t you tell me what sort of a lover you find him? He must be well over fifty, he’s going thin at the front, and he has the colour of a crawfish. And haven’t you noticed his teeth? By Castor and Pollux, the graces have been kind to him, particularly when he sings, and tries to show his good taste! He’s like the proverbial donkey treating himself to a solo on the harp. Good luck to you, for he’s just what you deserve, and I hope your child takes after his father! For my part I’ll find a Delphis or a Cymbalium who’s more my own sort, or perhaps it’ll be your neighbour who plays the pipe, but I’ll certainly find somebody. We don’t all have rugs or necklaces or presents of two minas to give you. MYRTALE: What a lucky girl it’ll be that gets you for her lover, Dorio! You’ll bring her onions from Cyprus, and cheese any time you come from Gythium!
4. ΔΩΡΙΩΝ: Ἀλλὰ ἐκεῖνο οὐ λέγεις, οἵῳ ὄντι συγκαθεύδεις αὐτῷ; ἔτη μὲν ὑπὲρ τὰ πεντήκοντα πάντως, ἀναφαλαντίας καὶ τὴν χρόαν οἷος κάραβος. οὐδὲ τοὺς ὀδόντας αὐτοῦ ὁρᾷς; αἱ μὲν γὰρ χάριτες, ὦ Διοσκόρω, πολλαί, καί μάλιστα ὁπόταν ᾄδῃ καὶ ἁβρὸς εἶναι θέλῃ, ὄνος αὐτολυρίζων, φασίν. ἀλλὰ ὄναιο αὐτοῦ ἀξία γε οὖσα καὶ γένοιτο ὑμῖν παιδίον ὅμοιον τῷ πατρί, ἐγὼ δὲ καὶ αὐτὸς εὑρήσω Δελφίδα ἢ Κυμβάλιόν τινα τῶν κατ' ἐμὲ ἢ τὴν γείτονα ὑμῶν τὴν αὐλητρίδα ἢ πάντως τινά. δάπιδας δὲ καὶ ὅρμους καὶ διμναῖα μισθώματα οὐ πάντες ἔχομεν. ΜΥΡΤΑΛΗ: Ὦ μακαρία ἐκείνη, ἥτις ἐραστὴν σέ, ὦ Δωρίων, ἕξει· κρόμμυα γὰρ αὐτῇ οἴσεις ἐκ Κύπρου καὶ τυρόν, ὅταν ἐκ Γυθίου καταπλέῃς.