1. NIREUS: Look, here’s Menippus, who will decide which of us is more handsome. Tell us, Menippus, don’t you think I am?MENIPPUS: Whoever are you both? I ought to know that first, I suppose. NIREUS: NIreus and Thersites.
1. ΝΙΡΕΥΣ: Ἰδοὺ δή, Μένιππος οὑτοσὶ δικάσει, πότερος εὐμορφότερός ἐστιν. εἰπέ, ὦ Μένιππε, οὐ καλλίων σοι δοκῶ;ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Τίνες δὲ καὶ ἔστε; πρότερον, οἶμαι, χρὴ γὰρ τοῦτο εἰδέναι. ΝΙΡΕΥΣ: Νιρεὺς καὶ Θερσίτης.
MENIPPUS: Well, which is NIreus, and which Thersites? That’s still not clear. THERSITES: That’s already one point in my favour, if I’m like you, and you don’t have the great superiority for which Homer the blind praised you, when he called you the most handsome of them all; I, with my sugarloaf head, and thin hair, seemed just as good-looking as you to Minos; but you, Menippus, take a good look to see which you think more handsome. IREUS: Me, son of Charops and Aglaea, “handsomest man of all who came to Troy”.
ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Πότερος οὖν ὁ Νιρεὺς καὶ πότερος ὁ Θερσίτης; οὐδέπω γὰρ τοῦτο δῆλον. ΘΕΡΣΙΤΗΣ: Ἓν μὲν ἤδη τοῦτο ἔχω, ὅτι ὅμοιός εἰμί σοι καὶ οὐδὲν τηλικοῦτον διαφέρεις ἡλίκον σε Ὅμηρος ἐκεῖνος ὁ τυφλὸς ἐπῄνεσεν ἁπάντων εὐμορφότερον προσειπών, ἀλλ’ ὁ φοξὸς ἐγὼ καὶ ψεδνὸς οὐδὲν χείρων ἐφάνην τῷ δικαστῇ. ὅρα δὲ σύ, ὦ Μένιππε, ὅντινα καὶ εὐμορφότερον ἡγῇ. ΝΙΡΕΥΣ: Ἐμέ γε τὸν Ἀγλαΐας καὶ Χάροπος, “ὃς κάλλιστος ἀνὴρ ὑπὸ Ἴλιον ἦλθον.”
2. MENIPPUS: But not, methinks, the handsomest that has come to the lower world; your bones are no different here, and your skull can only be told from that of Thersites, by its brittleness. Your skull is fragile and unmanly. NIREUS: But just ask Homer what I was like when I was fighting in the Greek army.
2. ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Ἀλλ' οὐχὶ καὶ ὑπὸ γῆν, ὡς οἶμαι, κάλλιστος ἦλθες, ἀλλὰ τὰ μὲν ὀστᾶ ὅμοια, τὸ δὲ κρανίον ταύτῃ μόνον ἄρα διακρίνοιτο ἀπὸ τοῦ Θερσίτου κρανίου, ὅτι εὔθρυπτον τὸ σόν· ἀλαπαδνὸν γὰρ αὐτὸ καὶ οὐκ ἀνδρῶδες ἔχεις. ΝΙΡΕΥΣ: Καὶ μὴν ἐροῦ Ὅμηρον, ὁποῖος ἦν, ὁπότε συνεστράτευον τοῖς Ἀχαιοῖς.
MENIPPUS: You talk of dreams; I of what I see, and of your present state; your past is only known to the men of that time. NIREUS: Then, Menippus, I’m not handsomer here than he is?
ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Ὀνείρατά μοι λέγεις· ἐγὼ δὲ ἃ βλέπω καὶ νῦν ἔχεις, ἐκεῖνα δέ οἱ τότε ἴσασιν. ΝΙΡΕΥΣ: Οὔκουν ἐγὼ ἐνταῦθα εὐμορφότερός εἰμι, ὦ Μένιππε;
MENIPPUS: Neither you nor anyone else is handsome here. In Hades all are equal, and all alike. THERSITES: That’s good enough for me.
ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Οὔτε σὺ οὔτε ἄλλος εὔμορφος· ἰσοτιμία γὰρ ἐν ᾅδου καὶ ὅμοιοι ἅπαντες. ΘΕΡΣΙΤΗΣ: Ἐμοὶ μὲν καὶ τοῦτο ἱκανόν.