1. MENIPPUS: Tell me, Hermes, where are the beauties of both sexes? Show me round, as I’m a newcomer.
1. ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Ποῦ δαὶ οἱ καλοί εἰσιν ἢ αἱ καλαί, Ἑρμῆ; ξενάγησόν με νέηλυν ὄντα.
HERMES: I have no time, Menippus. But just look over there to your right, where you’ll see Hyacinthus, Narcissus, NIreus, Achilles, Tyro, Helen, and Leda, and, in fact, all the beauties of old.
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Οὐ σχολή μέν, ὦ Μένιππε· πλὴν κατ' ἐκεῖνο ἀπόβλεψον, ἐπὶ τὰ δεξιά, ἔνθα ὁ Ὑάκινθός τέ ἐστιν καὶ Νάρκισσος καὶ Νιρεὺς καὶ Ἀχιλλεὺς καὶ Τυρὼ καὶ Ἑλένη καὶ Λήδα καὶ ὅλως τὰ ἀρχαῖα πάντα κάλλη.
MENIPPUS: I can only see bones and bare skulls, most of them looking the same.
ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Ὀστᾶ μόνα ὁρῶ καὶ κρανία τῶν σαρκῶν γυμνά, ὅμοια τὰ πολλά.
HERMES: Yet those are what all the poets admire, those bones which you seem to despise.
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Καὶ μὴν ἐκεῖνά ἐστιν ἃ πάντες οἱ ποιηταὶ θαυμάζουσι τὰ ὀστᾶ, ὧν σὺ ἔοικας καταφρονεῖν.
MENIPPUS: But show me Helen. I can’t pick her out myself.
ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Ὅμως τὴν Ἑλένην μοι δεῖξον· οὐ γὰρ ἂν διαγνοίην ἔγωγε.
HERMES: This skull is Helen.MENIPPUS: Was it then for this that the thousand ships were manned from all Greece, for this that so many Greeks and barbarians fell, and so many cities were devastated?
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Τουτὶ τὸ κρανίον ἡ Ἑλένη ἐστίν.
2. HERMES: Ah, but you never saw the woman alive, Menippus, or you would have said yourself that it was forgivable that they “for such a lady long should suffer woe”. For if one sees flowers that are dried up and faded, they will, of course, appear ugly; but when they are in bloom and have their colour, they are very beautiful.
2. ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Εἶτα διὰ τοῦτο αἱ χίλιαι νῆες ἐπληρώθησαν ἐξ ἁπάσης τῆς Ἑλλάδος καὶ τοσοῦτοι ἔπεσον Ἕλληνές τε καὶ βάρβαροι καὶ τοσαῦται πόλεις ἀνάστατοι γεγόνασιν;ΕΡΜΗΣ: Ἀλλ' οὐκ εἶδες, ὦ Μένιππε, ζῶσαν τὴν γυναῖκα· ἔφης γὰρ ἂν καὶ σὺ ἀνεμέσητον εἶναι “τοιῇδ’ ἀμφὶ γυναικὶ πολὺν χρόνον ἄλγεα πάσχειν”· ἐπεὶ καὶ τὰ ἄνθη ξηρὰ ὄντα εἴ τις βλέποι ἀποβεβληκότα τὴν βαφήν, ἄμορφα δῆλον ὅτι αὐτῷ δόξει, ὅτε μέντοι ἀνθεῖ καὶ ἔχει τὴν χρόαν, κάλλιστά ἐστιν.
MENIPPUS: Well, Hermes, what does surprise me is this: that the Achaeans didn’t know how short-lived a thing they strove for, and how soon it loses its bloom.
ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ: Οὐκοῦν τοῦτο, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, θαυμάζω, εἰ μὴ συνίεσαν οἱ Ἀχαιοὶ περὶ πράγματος οὕτως ὀλιγοχρονίου καὶ ῥᾳδίως ἀπανθοῦντος πονοῦντες.
HERMES: I have no time to moralise with you, Menippus. Choose a place to lie down in, wherever you like, and I’ll be off now to fetch the other shades.
ΕΡΜΗΣ: Οὐ σχολή μοι, ὦ Μένιππε, συμφιλοσοφεῖν σοι. ὥστε σὺ μὲν ἐπιλεξάμενος τόπον, ἔνθα ἂν ἐθέλῃς, κεῖσο καταβαλὼν σεαυτόν, ἐγὼ δὲ τοὺς ἄλλους νεκροὺς ἤδη μετελεύσομαι.