CALIDORUS:Pseudolus, go fetch the sacrifice, the victims, the sacrificers, that I may make offering to this supreme Jove. For this Jupiter is now much more mighty to me than is Jupiter himself.
Calidorvs:Pseudole, ei accerse hostias,victumas, lanios, ut ego huic sacruficem summo Iovi;nam hic mihi nunc est multo potior Iuppiter quam Iuppiter.
BALLIO:I want no victims; with the entrails of minae I wish to be appeased.CALIDORUS: (to PSEUDOLUS.)
Ballio:Nolo victumas: agninis me extis placari volo.
Make haste. Why do you hesitate? Go fetch the lambs; do you hear what Jupiter says?
Calidorvs:Propera, quid stas? ei accerse agnos. audin quid ait Iuppiter?
PSEUDOLUS:I’ll be here this moment; but first I must run as far as beyond the gate.
Psevdolvs:Iam hic ero; verum extra portam mi etiam currendumst prius.
CALIDORUS:Why thither?
Calidorvs:Quid eo?
PSEUDOLUS:I’ll fetch two sacrificers thence, with their bells; at the same time I’ll fetch thence two bundles of elm twigs, that this day a sufficiency may be provided for the sacrifice to this Jove.
Psevdolvs:Lanios inde accersam duo cum tintinnabulis,eadem duo greges virgarum inde ulmearum adegero,ut hodie ad litationem huic suppetat satias Iovi.
BALLIO:Away to utter perdition.
Ballio:I in malam crucem.
PSEUDOLUS:Thither shall the pimping Jupiter go.
Psevdolvs:Istuc ibit Iuppiter lenonius.
BALLIO:It isn’t for your interest that I should die.
Ballio:[Ex tua re est, ut ego emoriar.]
PSEUDOLUS:How so?
Psevdolvs:[Quidum?]
BALLIO:This way; because, if I’m dead, there will be no one worse than yourself in Athens. For your interest (to CALIDORUS) it is that I should die.CALIDORUS:How so?
Ballio:[Ego dicam tibi:][quia edepol, dum ego vivos vivam, numquam eris frugi bonae.]Ballio:Ex tua re non est, ut ego emoriar.Psevdolvs:Quidum?
BALLIO:I’ll tell you; because, i’ faith, so long as I shall be alive, you’ll never be a man well to do.
Ballio:Sic, quiasí ego emortuos sim, Athenis te sit nemo nequior.
CALIDORUS:Troth now, prithee, in serious truth, tell me this that I ask you—have you not got my mistress, Phœnicium, on sale?
Calidorvs:Dic mihi, obsecro hercle, verum serio hoc quod te rogo.non habes venalem amicam tu meam Phoenicium?
BALLIO:By my faith, I really have not; for I’ve now sold her already.
Ballio:Non edepol habeo profecto, nam iam pridem vendidi.
CALIDORUS:In what way?
Calidorvs:Quo modo?
BALLIO:Without her trappings, with all her inwards.
Ballio:Sine ornamentis, cum intestinis omnibus.
CALIDORUS:What? Have you sold my mistress?
Calidorvs:Meam tu amicam vendidisti?
BALLIO:Decidedly; for twenty minae.
Ballio:Valde, viginti minis.
CALIDORUS:For twenty minae?
Calidorvs:Viginti minis?
BALLIO:Or, in other words, for four times five minae, whichever you please, to a Macedonian Captain; and I’ve already got fifteen of the minae at home.
Ballio:Vtrum vis, vel quater quinis minis,militi Macedonio, et iam quindecím habeo minas.
CALIDORUS:What is it that I hear of you?
Calidorvs:Quid ego ex te audio?
BALLIO:That your mistress has been turned into money.
Ballio:Amicam tuam esse factam argenteam.
CALIDORUS:Why did you dare to do so?BALLIO:’Twas my pleasure; she was my own.
Calidorvs:Cur id ausu’s es facere?Ballio:Libuit, mea fuit.
CALIDORUS:Hallo! Pseudolus. Run, fetch me a sword.
Calidorvs:Eho, Pseudole,ei, gladium adfer.
PSEUDOLUS:What need is there of a sword?
Psevdolvs:Quid opus gladio?
CALIDORUS:With which to kill this fellow this instant, and then myself.
Calidorvs:Qui hunc occidam atque me.
PSEUDOLUS:But why not kill yourself only rather? For famine will soon be killing him.
Psevdolvs:Quin tu ted occidis potius? nam hunc fames iam occiderit.
CALIDORUS:What do you say, most perjured of men as many as are living upon the earth? Did you not take an oath that you would sell her to no person besides myself?
Calidorvs:Quid ais, quantum terra † tegit hominum periurissume?iuravistin te illam nulli venditurum nisi mihi?
BALLIO:I confess it.
Ballio:Fateor.
CALIDORUS:In solemn form, to wit.
Calidorvs:Nempe concéptis verbis?
BALLIO:Aye, and well considered too.
Ballio:Etiam consutis quoque.
CALIDORUS:You have proved perjured, you villain.
Calidorvs:Periuravisti, sceleste.
BALLIO:I sacked the money at home, however.
Ballio:At argentum intro condidi.
Villain as I am, I am now able to draw upon a stock of silver in my house; whereas you who are so dutiful, and born of that grand family, haven’t a single coin.
ego scelestus nunc argentum promere possum domo:tu qui pius, istoc es genere gnatus, nummum non habes.
CALIDORUS:Pseudolus, stand by him on the other side and load this fellow with imprecations.
Calidorvs:Pseudole, adsiste altrim secus atque onera hunc maledictis.
PSEUDOLUS:Very well. Never would I run to the Praetor with equal speed that I might be made free.(Stands on the other side of BALLIO.)
Psevdolvs:Licet.numquam ad praetorem aeque cursim curram, ut emittar manu.
CALIDORUS:Heap on him a multitude of curses.
Calidorvs:Ingere mala multa.
PSEUDOLUS:Now will I publish you with my rebukes.
Psevdolvs:Iam ego te differam dictis meis.
Thou lackshame!BALLIO:’Tis the fact.PSEUDOLUS:Villain!BALLIO:You say the truth.PSEUDOLUS:Whipping-post!
impudice.Ballio:Itast.Calidorvs:Sceleste.Ballio:Dicis vera.Psevdolvs:Verbero.
BALLIO:Why not?PSEUDOLUS:Robber of tombs!
Ballio:Quippini?Calidorvs:Bustirape.
BALLIO:No doubt.
Ballio:Certo.
PSEUDOLUS:Gallows-bird!
Psevdolvs:Furcifer.
BALLIO:Very well done.
Ballio:Factum optume.
PSEUDOLUS:Cheater of your friends!BALLIO:That’s in my way.
Calidorvs:Sociofraude.Ballio:Sunt mea istaec.
PSEUDOLUS:Parricide!
Psevdolvs:Parricida.
BALLIO:Proceed, you.
Ballio:Perge tu.
CALIDORUS:Committer of sacrilege!
Calidorvs:Sacrilege.
BALLIO:I own it.CALIDORUS:Perjurer!
Ballio:Fateor.Psevdolvs:Periure.
BALLIO:You’re telling nothing new.
Ballio:Vetera vaticinamini.
CALIDORUS:Lawbreaker!
Calidorvs:Legirupa.
BALLIO:Very much so.
Ballio:Valide.
PSEUDOLUS:Pest of youth!
Psevdolvs:Permities adulescentum.
BALLIO:Most severely said.
Ballio:Acerrume.
CALIDORUS:Thief!
Calidorvs:Fur.
BALLIO:Oh! wonderful!
Ballio:Babae.
PSEUDOLUS:Vagabond!
Psevdolvs:Fugitive.
BALLIO:Pooh! pooh!
Ballio:Bombax.
CALIDORUS:Defrauder of the public!
Calidorvs:Fraus populi.
BALLIO:Most decidedly so.
Ballio:Planissume.
PSEUDOLUS:Cheating scoundrel!
Psevdolvs:Fraudulente.
CALIDORUS:Filthypander!
Calidorvs:Impure.
PSEUDOLUS:Lump of filth!
Psevdolvs:Leno.Calidorvs:Caenum.
BALLIO:A capital chorus.
Ballio:Cantores probos.
CALIDORUS:You beat your father and mother.
Calidorvs:Verberavisti patrem atque matrem.
BALLIO:Aye, and killed them, too, rather than find them food; did I do wrong at all?
Ballio:Atque occidi quoque,potius quam cibum praehiberem: num peccavi quippiam?
PSEUDOLUS:We are pouring our words into a pierced cask: we are losing our pains.
Psevdolvs:In pertusum ingerimus dicta dolium, operam ludimus.
BALLIO:Would you like to call me anything else besides?
Ballio:Numquid aliud etiam voltis dicere?
CALIDORUS:Is there anything that shames you?
Calidorvs:Ecquid te pudet?
BALLIO:Yes; that you have been found to be a lover as empty as a rotten nut. But although you have used towards me expressions many and harsh, unless the Captain shall bring me this day the five minae that he owes me, as this was the last day appointed for the payment of that money,if he doesn’t bring it, I think that I am able to do my duty.
Ballio:Ten, amatorem esse inventum inanem quasi cassam nucem?verum quamquam multa malaque dicta dixistis mihi,nisi mihi hodie attulerit miles quinque quas debet minas,sicut haec est praestituta summa ei argento dies,si id non adfert, posse opinor facere me officium meum.
CALIDORUS:What is that duty?
Calidorvs:Quid id est?
BALLIO:If you bring the money, I’ll break faith with him; that’s my duty. If it were more worth my while, I would talk further with you. But, without a coin of money,’tis in vain that you request me to have pity upon you. Such is my determination; but do you, from this, consider what you have henceforth to do?(Moves.)
Ballio:Si tu argentum attuleris, cum illo perdidero fidem:hoc meum est officium. ego, operae si sit, plus tecum loquar;sed sine argénto frustra es qui me tui misereri postulas.haec meast sententia, ut tu hinc porro quid agas consulas.
CALIDORUS:Are you going then?
Calidorvs:Iamne abis?
BALLIO:At present I am full of business.(Exit.)
Ballio:Negoti nunc sum plenus.—
PSEUDOLUS:Before long you’ll be more so. That man is my own, unless all Gods and men forsake me. I’ll bone him just in the same fashion that a cook does a lamprey. Now, Calidorus, I wish you to give me your attention.
Psevdolvs:Paulo post magis.illic homo meus est, nisi omnes di me atque homines deserunt.exossabo ego illúm simulter itidem ut murenam coquos.nunc, Calidore, te mihi operam dare volo.
CALIDORUS:What do you bid me do?
Calidorvs:Ecquid imperas?
PSEUDOLUS:I wish to lay siege to this town, that this day it may be taken.
Psevdolvs:Hoc ego oppidum admoenire, ut hodie capiatur, volo;
For that purpose, I have need of an artful, clever, knowing, and crafty fellow, who may despatch out of hand what he is ordered, not one to go to sleep upon his watch.
ad eam rem usust homine astuto, docto, cauto et callido,qui imperata ecfecta reddat, non qui vigilans dormiat.
CALIDORUS:Tell me, then, what you are going to do?
Calidorvs:Cedo mihi, quid es facturus?
PSEUDOLUS:In good time I’ll let you know. I don’t care for it to be repeated twice; stories are made too long that way.
Psevdolvs:Temperi ego faxo scies.nolo bis iterari, sat sic longae fiunt fabulae.
CALIDORUS:You plead what’s very fair and very just.
Calidorvs:Optumum atque aequissimum oras.
PSEUDOLUS:Make haste; bring the fellow hither quickly.
Psevdolvs:Propera, adduc hominem cito.
CALIDORUS:Out of many, there are but few friends that are to be depended upon by a person.
Calidorvs:Pauci ex multis sunt amici, hómini qui certi sient.
PSEUDOLUS:I know that; therefore, get for yourself now a choice of both, and seek out of these many one that can be depended upon.
Psevdolvs:Ego scio istuc. ergo utrumque, tibi nunc dilectum paraex multis atque exquire illinc unum qui certus siet.
CALIDORUS:I’ll have him here this instant.
Calidorvs:Iam hic faxo aderit.—
PSEUDOLUS:Can’t you be off then? You create delay for yourself by your talking.(Exit CALIDORUS.) (PSEUDOLUS, alone.)
Psevdolvs:Potin ut abeas? tibi moram dictis creas.
PSEUDOLUS:Since he has gone hence, you are now standing alone, Pseudolus.
Psevdolvs:postquam illic hinc abiit, tu astas solus, Pseudole.
What are you to do now, after you have so largely promised costly delights to your master’s son by your speeches? You, for whom not even one drop of sure counsel is ready, nor yet of silver * * * * nor have you where first you must begin your undertaking,nor yet fixed limits for finishing off your web. But just as the poet, when he has taken up his tablets, seeks what nowhere in the world exists, and still finds it, and makes that like truth which really is a fiction; now I’ll become a poet; twenty minae,which no-where in the world are now existing, still will I find. And some time since had I said that I would find them for him, and I had attempted to throw a net over our old gentleman; however, by what means I know not, he perceived it beforehand. But my voice and my talking must be stopped;
quid nunc acturu’s es, postquam erili filiolargitu’s es dictis dapsilis? ubi sunt ea?quoi neque paratast gutta certi consili,[neque adeo argenti—neque nunc quid faciam scio.]neque exordiri primum unde occipias habes,neque ad détexundam telam certos terminos.sed quasi poeta, tabulas cum cepit sibi,quaerit quod nusquamst gentium, reperit tamen,facit illud veri simile, quod mendacium est,nunc ego poeta fiam: viginti minas,quae nusquam nunc sunt gentium, inveniam tamen.[atque ego me iam pridem huic daturum dixeram][et volui inicere tragulam in nostrum senem;][verum is nescio quo pacto praesensit prius.]sed comprimundast vox mihi atque oratio:
for, see! I perceive my master, Simo, coming this way, together with his neighbour, Callipho. Out of this old sepulchre will I dig twenty minae this day, to give them to my master’s son. Now I’ll step aside here, that I may pick up their conversation.(He stands apart.) (Enter SIMO and CALLIPHO.)
erum eccum video húc Simonem una simulcum suo vicino Calliphone incedere.ex hoc sepulcro vetere viginti minaseffodiam ego hodie, quas dem erili filio.nunc huc concedam, unde horum sermonem legam.
SIMO:If now a Dictator were to be appointed at Athens of Attica out of the spendthrifts or out of the gallants, I do think that no one would surpass my son. For now the only talk of all throughout the city is to the effect that he is trying to set his mistress free,and is seeking after money for that purpose. Some people bring me word of this; and, in fact, I had long ago perceived it, and had suspected it, but I dissembled on it.
Simo:Si de damnosis aut si dé amatoribusdictator fiat nunc Athenis Atticis,nemo anteveniat filio, credo, meo:ita nunc per urbem solus sermoni omnibust,eum velle amicam liberare et quaerereargentum ad eam rem. hoc alii mihi renuntiant;atque id iam pridem sensi et subolebat mihi,sed dissimulabam.
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)Already is his son suspected by him; this affair is nipt in the bud, this business is at a stand-still.
Psevdolvs:Iám illi fetet filius.occisa est haec res, haeret hoc negotium.
The way is now entirely blocked up against me, by which I had intended to go a-foraging for the money.
quo in commeatum volui árgentariumproficisci, ibi nunc oppido opsaeptast via.
He has perceived it beforehand. There’s no booty for the marauders.
praesensit: nihil est praedae praedatoribus.
CALLIPHO:Those men who carry about and who listen to accusations, should all be hanged, if so it could be at my decision, the carriers by their tongues, the listeners by their ears.
Callipho:Homines qui gestant quique auscultant crimina,si meo arbitratu liceat, omnes pendeant,gestores linguis, auditores auribus.
For these things that are told you, that your son in his amour is desirous to chouse you out of money, the chance is that these things so told you are all lies. But sappose they are true, as habits are, now-a-days especially, what has he done so surprising? What new thing, if a young mandoes love, and if he does liberate his mistress?PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)A delightful old gentleman.
nam istaec quae tibi renuntiantur, filiumte velle amantem argento circumducere,fors fuat an istaec dicta sint mendacia;sed si sint ea vera, ut nunc mos est, maxume,quid mirum fecit? quid novom, adulescens homosi amat, si amicam liberat?Psevdolvs:Lepidum senem.
SIMO:I don’t wish him to follow the old-fashioned habits.
Simo:Vetus nólo faciat.
CALLIPHO:But still, in vain do you object; or you yourself shouldn’t have done the like in your youthful days. It befits the father to be immaculate, who wishes his son to be more immaculate than he has been himself.
Callipho:At enim nequiquam nevis;vel tu ne faceres tale in adulescentia.probum patrem esse oportet qui gnatum suomessé probiorem quam ipsus fuerit postulet.
But the mischief and the profligacy you were guilty of might have been distributed throughout the whole population, a share for each man. Are you surprised at it, if the son does take after the father?PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
nam tu quod damni et quod fecisti flagitipopulo viritim potuit dispertirier.idne tú mirare, si patrissat filius?
O Zeus, Zeus! how few in number are you considerate men. See, that’s being a father to a son, just as is proper.
Psevdolvs:ὦ Ζεῦ, quam pauci éstis homines commodi. em,illic ést pater patrem esse ut aequom est filio.
SIMO:Who is it that’s speaking here? (Looking round.) Why, surely ’tis my servant Pseudolus.’Tis he corrupts my son, the wicked scoundrel; he is his leader, he his tutor. I long for him to be put to extreme torture.
Simo:Quis hic lóquitur? meus est hic quidem sérvos Pseudolus.hic mihi corrumpit filium, scelerum caput;hic dux, hic illi est paedagogus, hunc egocupio excruciari.
CALLIPHO:This is folly now, thus to keep your anger in readiness. How much better were itto accost him with kind words and to make all enquiries, whether these things are true or not that they tell you of?
Callipho:Iam istaec insipientiast,iram in promptu gerere. quanto satius estadire blandis verbis atque exquaerere,sintne illa necne sint quae tibi renuntiant.bonus animus in mala re dimidiumst mali.
SIMO:I’ll take your advice.
Simo:Tibi auscultabo.
PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)They are making towards you, Pseudolus; prepare your speech to meet the old fellow.
Psevdolvs:Itur ad te, Pseudole.orationem tibi para advorsum senem.
Good courage in a bad case is half the evil got over. (Aloud, as he advances to meet them.) First, I salute my master, as is proper; and alter that, if anything is left, that I bestow upon his neighbour.
erum saluto primum, ut aequomst; postea,si quid superfit, vicinos impertio.
SIMO:Good day to you. What are you about?
Simo:Salve. quid agitur?
PSEUDOLUS:About standing here in this fashion (assuming an attitude).
Psevdolvs:Statur hic ad hunc modum.
SIMO:See the attitude of the fellow, Callipho; how like that of a man of rank.
Simo:Statum vide hominis, Callipho, quam basilicum.
CALLIPHO:I consider that he is standing properly and with boldness.
Callipho:Bene confidenterque adstitisse intellego.
PSEUDOLUS:It befits a servant innocent and guileless, as he is, to be bold, most especially before his master.
Psevdolvs:Decet innocentem qui sit atque innoxiumservom superbum esse, apud erum potissimum.
CALLIPHO:There are some things about which we wish to inquire of you, which we ourselves know and have heard of as though through a cloud of mist.
Callipho:Sunt quae te volumus percontari, quae quasiper nebulam nosmet scimus atque audivimus.
SIMO:He’ll manage you now with his speeches, so that you shall thinkit isn’t Pseudolus but Socrates that’s talking to you. What do you say?
Simo:Conficiet iam te hic verbis, ut tu censeasnon Pseudolum, sed Socratem tecum loqui.
PSEUDOLUS:For a long time you have held me in contempt, I know. I see that you have but little confidence in me. You wish me to be a villain; still, I will be of strict honesty.
Psevdolvs:Itast, iam pridem tu me spernis, sentio.parvam esse apud te mihi fidem ipse intellego.cupis me ésse nequam: tamen ero frugi bonae.
SIMO:Take care, please, and make the recesses of your ears free, Pseudolus,that my words may be enabled to enter where I desire.
Simo:Fac sis vocivas, Pseudole, aedis aurium,mea ut migrare dicta possint quo volo.
PSEUDOLUS:Come, say anything you please, although I am angry at you.
Psevdolvs:Age loquere quidvis, tametsi tibi suscenseo.
SIMO:What, you, a slave, angry at me your master?
Simo:Mihin dómino servos tu suscenses?
PSEUDOLUS:And does that seem wonderful to you?
Psevdolvs:Tam tibimirum id videtur?
SIMO:Why, by my troth, according to what you say, I must be on my guard against you in your anger, and you are thinking of beating me in no other way than I am wont to beat yourself.
Simo:Hercle qui, ut tu praedicas,cavendum est mi aps te irato; atque alio tu modome verberare atque ego te soleo cogitas.
What do you think?(To CALLIPHO.)CALLIPHO:I’ faith, I think that he’s angry with good reason, since you have so little confidence in him.
quid censes?Callipho:Edepol merito esse iratum arbitror,quom apud te parvast ei fides.
SIMO:I’ll leave him alone then. Let him be angry: I’ll take care that he shall do me no harm. But what do you say? What as to that which I was asking you?
Simo:Iam sic sino;iratus sit: ego, ne quid noceat, cavero.sed quid ais? quid hoc, quod te rogo?
PSEUDOLUS:If you want anything, ask me.
Psevdolvs:Sí quid vis, roga.
What I know, do you consider given you as a response at Delphi.
quod scibo, Delphis tibi responsum dicito.
SIMO:Give your attention then, and take care and please mind your promise. What do you say? Do you know that my son is in love with a certain music-girl?
Simo:Advorte ergo animum et fac sis promissi memor.quid ais? ecquam scis filium tibicinammeum amare?
PSEUDOLUS:Yea, verily.
Psevdolvs:ναὶ γάρ.
SIMO:Whom he is trying to make free?
Simo:Liberare quam velit?
PSEUDOLUS:Yea, verily and indeed.
Psevdolvs:καὶ τοῦτο ναὶ γάρ.
SIMO:And you are scheming by cajolery and by cunning tricks to get twenty minae in ready money out of me?
Simo:Ecquas viginti minas[per sycophantiam atque per doctos dolos]paritas ut auferas a me?
PSEUDOLUS:I, get them out of you?
Psevdolvs:Abs te ego auferam?
SIMO:Just so; to give them to my son, with which to liberate his mistress. Do you confess it? Speak out.
Simo:Ita, quas meo gnato des, qui amicam liberet?fatere, dic.
PSEUDOLUS:Yea, verily; yea, verily.
Psevdolvs:καὶ τοῦτο ναί, καὶ τοῦτο ναί.
SIMO:He confesses it.Didn’t I tell you so just now, Callipho?
Callipho:Fatetur.Simo:Dixin, Callipho, dudum tibi?
CALLIPHO:So I remember.
Callipho:Memini.
SIMO:Why, directly you knew of these things, were they kept concealed from me? Why wasn’t I made acquainted with them?
Simo:Quor haec, tu ubi rescivisti ilico,celata me sunt? quor non rescivi?
PSEUDOLUS:I’ll tell you: because I was unwilling that a bad custom should originate in me, for a servant to accuse his master before his master.
Psevdolvs:Eloquar.quia nolebam ex me morem progigni malum,erum ut servos criminaret apud erum.
SIMO:Wouldn’t you order this fellow to be dragged head first to the treadmills?
Simo:Iuberes hunc praecipitem in pistrinum trahi.
CALLIPHO:Has he done anything amiss, Simo?
Callipho:Numquid peccatum est, Simo?
SIMO:Yes, very much so.PSEUDOLUS: (to CALLIPHO.)
Simo:Immo maxime.
Be quiet, I quite well understand my own affairs, Callipho. Is this a fault? Now then, give your attention to the reason why I you kept ignorant of this amour. I knew that the treadmill was close at hand, if I told you.
Psevdolvs:Desiste, recte ego meam rem sapio, Callipho;peccata mea sunt. animum advorte nunciam.quapropter te expertem amoris nati habuerim? †pistrinum in mundo scibam, si dixem, mihi.
SIMO:And didn’t you know, as well, that the treadmill would be close at hand when you kept silent on it?
Simo:Non a me scibas pistrinum in mundo tibi,cum ea mussitabas?
PSEUDOLUS:I did know it.
Psevdolvs:Scibam.
SIMO:Why wasn’t it told me?
Simo:Quin dictum est mihi?
PSEUDOLUS:The one evil was close at hand, the other at a greater distance; the one was at the moment, the other was a few days off.
Psevdolvs:Quia illúd malum aderat, istuc aberat longius;illud erat praesens, huic erant dieculae.
SIMO:What will you be doing now? For assuredly the money cannot be got in this quarter out of me, who have especially detected it.
Simo:Quid nunc agetis? nam hinc quidem a me non potestargentum auferri, qui praesertim senserim.
I shall forthwith give notice to all that no one is to trust him the money.
ne quisquam credat nummum, iam edicam omnibus.
PSEUDOLUS:I’ faith, I’ll never go begging to any person, so long, at all events, as you shall be alive; troth, you shall find me the money; and as for me, I shall take it from you.
Psevdolvs:Numquam edepol quoiquam supplicabo, dum quidemtu vives. tu mihi hercle árgentum dabis,abs te equidem sumam.
SIMO:You, take it from me?
Simo:Tu a me sumes?
PSEUDOLUS:Undoubtedly.
Psevdolvs:Strenue.
SIMO:Troth, now, knock out my eye, if I do find it.
Simo:Excludito mi hercle oculum, si dedero.
PSEUDOLUS:You shall provide it. I warn you then to be on your guard against me.
Psevdolvs:Dabis.iam dico ut a me caveas.
SIMO:By my troth, I know this for sure; if you do take it away, you will have done a wonderful and a great exploit.
Simo:Certe edepol scio,si apstuleris, mirum et magnum facinus feceris.
PSEUDOLUS:I will do it, however.
Psevdolvs:Faciam.
SIMO:But if you don’t carry it off?
Simo:Si non apstuleris?
PSEUDOLUS:Then flog me with rods. But what if I do carry it off?
Psevdolvs:Virgis caedito.sed quid, si apstulero?
SIMO:I give you Jupiter as your witness,that you shall pass your life free from punishment.
Simo:Do Iovem testem tibi,te aetatem impune habiturum.
PSEUDOLUS:Take care and remember that.
Psevdolvs:Facito ut memineris.
SIMO:Could I possibly be unable to be on my guard, who am forewarned?
Simo:Egon ut cavere nequeam, cui praedicitur?
PSEUDOLUS:I forewarn you to be on your guard. I say you must be on your guard, I tell you. Keep watch. Look, now, with those same hands will you this day give me the moneySIMO:By my troth,’tis a clever mortal if he keeps his word.
Psevdolvs:Praedico, ut caveas. dico, inquam, ut caveas. cave.em istis mihi tu hodie manibus argentum dabis.Callipho:Edepol mortalem graphicum, si servat fidem.
PSEUDOLUS:Carry me away to be your slave if I don’t do it.
Psevdolvs:Servitum tibi me abducito, ni fecero.
SIMO:You speak kindly and obligingly; for at present you are not mine, I suppose.
Callipho:Bene atque amice dicis. †nam nunc, nam meust.
PSEUDOLUS:Would you like me to tell you, too, what you will still more wonder at?
Psevdolvs:Vin etiam dicam quod vos magis miremini?
SIMO:Come, then; i’ faith, I long to hear it; I listen to you with pleasure.
Callipho:Studeo hercle audire, nam ted ausculto lubens.Simo:[Agedum, nam satis libenter te ausculto loqui.]
PSEUDOLUS:Before I fight that battle, I shall firstfight another battle, famous and memorable.
Psevdolvs:Prius quam ístam pugnam pugnabo, ego etiam priusdabo aliam pugnam claram et commemorabilem.
SIMO:What battle?
Simo:Quam pugnam?
PSEUDOLUS:Why, with the procurer your neighbour; by means of stratagem and artful tricks, I’l cleverly bamboozle the procurer out of this music-girl, with whom your son is so desperately in love;
Psevdolvs:Em ab hoc lenone vicino tuoper sycophantiam atque per doctos dolostibicinam illam, tuos quam gnatus deperit,ea círcumducam lepide lenonem.Simo:Quid est?
and I surely will have both of these things effected this very day, before the evening.
Psevdolvs:Effectum hoc hodie reddam utrumque ad vesperum.
SIMO:Well, if you accomplish these tasks as you say, you will surpass in might King Agathocles. But if you don’t do it, is there any reason why I shouldn’t forthwith put you in the treadmill?
Simo:Siquidem ístaec opera, ut praedicas, perfeceris,virtute regi ágathocli antecesseris.sed si non faxis, numquid causaest, ilicoquin te in pistrinum condam?
PSEUDOLUS:Not for one day, but,i’ faith, for all, whatever the time. But if I effect it, will you not at once give me the money of your own free will for me to pay to the procurer?
Psevdolvs:Non unum in diem [modo],verum hercle in omnis, quantumst; sed si effecero,dabin mi argentum, quod dem lenoni, ilico,tua voluntáte?
CALLIPHO:Pseudolus is making a fair claim; say “I’ll give it.”
Callipho:Ius bonum orat Pseudolus;dabo inque.
SIMO:But still, do you know what comes into my mind? Suppose they have made an arrangement, Callipho,among themselves, or are acting in concert, and on a preconcerted plan, to bamboozle me out of the money?
Simo:At enim scin quid mihi in mentem venit?quid si hisce inter se consenserunt, Callipho,aut de compecto faciunt consutis dolis,qui me argento intervertant?
PSEUDOLUS:Who would be more audacious than myself, if I dared to do such an action? Well, Simo, if we are thus in collusion, or have ever arranged any plan, do you mark me quite all over with elm-tree stripes, just as when letters are written in a book with a reed.
Psevdolvs:Quis me audaciorsit, si istuc facinus audeam? immo sic, Simo:si sumus compecti seu consilium umquam iniimus [de istac re]aut si de ea re umquam inter nos convenimus,[quasi in libro cúm scribuntur calamo litterae]stilis me totum usque ulmeis conscribito.
SIMO:Now then, proclaim the games as soon as you please.
Simo:Indice ludos nunciam, quando lubet.
PSEUDOLUS:Give me your attention, Callipho, I beg you, for this day, so that you may not any way employ yourself upon other business.
Psevdolvs:Da in hunc diem operam, Callipho, quaeso mihi,ne quo te ad aliud occupes negotium.
CALLIPHO:Why, now, I had made up my mind yesterday to go into the country.
Callipho:Quin rus ut irem iám heri mecum statueram.
PSEUDOLUS:Still, do you now change the plan which you had resolved upon.
Psevdolvs:At nunc disturba quas statuisti machinas.
CALLIPHO:I am now resolved not to go away on account of this; I have an inclination to be a spectator of your games, Pseudolus; and if I shall find that he doesn’t give you the money which he has promised, rather than it shouldn’t be done, I’ll give it.
Callipho:Nunc non abire certum est istac gratia;lubidost ludos tuos spectare, Pseudole.et si hunc videbo non dare argentum tibi,quod dixit, potius quam id non fiat, ego dabo.
SIMO:I shall not change my purpose.
Simo:Non demutabo.
PSEUDOLUS:Because, by my faith, if you don’t give it, you shall be dunned for it with clamour great and plenteous. Come, now, move yourselves off hence into the house this instant, and in turn give room for my tricks.
Psevdolvs:Namque edepol, si non dabis,clamore magno et multo flagitabere.agite amolimini hinc vos intro nunciamac meis vicissim date locum fallaciis.
SIMO:Be it so.CALLIPHO:You may have your way,
Callipho:Fiat, geratur mos tibi.
PSEUDOLUS:But I want youto keep close at home.
Psevdolvs:Sed te volodomi usque adesse.Callipho:Quin tibi hanc operam dico.—
SIMO:Well, that assistance I promise you.CALLIPHO:But I shall be off to the Forum. I’ll be back here presently.(Exit CALLIPHO. SIMO goes into his house.)
Simo:At ego ad forum ibo. iam hic ero.—
PSEUDOLUS:Be back directly. (To the AUDIENCE.) I have a suspicion, now, that you are suspecting that I have been promising these so great exploits to these persons for the purpose of amusing you, while I am acting this play,and that I shall not do that which I said I will do. I will not change my design; so far as that then I know for certain; by what means I’m to carry it out not at all do I know as yet; only this, that so it shall be. For he that appears upon the stage in a new character, him it befits to bring something that is new.
Psevdolvs:Actutum redi.suspicio est mihi nunc vos suspicarier,me idcirco haec tanta facinora promittere,quo vos oblectem, hanc fabulam dum transigam,neque sim facturus quod facturum dixeram.non demutabo. atque etiam certum, quod sciam,quo id sim facturus pacto nil etiam scio,nisi quia futurumst. nam qui in scaenam provenit,novo módo novom aliquid inventum adferre addecet;
If he cannot do that, let him give place to him who can. I am inclined to go hence into the house for some little time, while I summon together all my stratagems in my mind. Meanwhile this piper shall entertain you.(Goes into the house of SIMO, and the PIPER strikes up a tune.) (Enter PSEUDOLUS, from the house of SIMO.)PSEUDOLUS:O Jupiter, whatever I undertake, how cleverly and how fortunately does it befal me.
si id facere nequeat, det locum illi qui queat.concedere aliquantisper hinc mi intro lubet,dum concenturio in corde sycophantias.⟨sed mox⟩ exibo, non ero vobis morae;tibicen vos interibi hic delectaverit.—Psevdolvs:Pro Iúppiter, ut mihi, quídquid ago, lepide ómnia prospereque éveniunt:
Not any plan is there stored up in my breast that I can hesitate upon or be afraid of. But it is folly to entrust a bold exploit to a timorous heart; for all things are just as you make them, so as you make them of importance. Now in my breast have I already so prepared my forces—double, aye, threefold stratagems, that when I engage with the enemy, relying upon the merits, I say, of my forefathers, and on my own industry and tricking propensity for mischief, I may easily conquer, and easily spoil my antagonists by my contrivances.
neque quód dubitem neque quód timeam, meo in péctore conditumst cónsilium.nam ea stúltitiast, facinús magnum timidó cordi credére; nam omnesrés perinde suntut agás, ut eas magní facias; nam ego ín meo pectore príus …íta paravi cópias,duplicís triplicis dolos pérfidias, ut, ubíquomque hostibus cóngrediar(maiórum meúm fretus vírtute dícam,mea índustria ét malitiá fraudulénta),facile út vincam, facile út spoliem meos pérduellis meis pérfidiis.
Now will I adroitly batter down this Ballio, the common foe of me and all of you; only lend me your attention. Now will I forthwith draw out my legions against this old town. If I take it, I shall make it a pleasant matter for the citizens: I’ll load and fill myself, and my allies as well, with booty from it. I shall strike terror and fright into my enemies, so that they may know of what race I was born.
núnc inimicum ego húnc communem meum átque vostrorum ómnium,Bállionem, exbállistabo lépide: date operam modo;[hóc ego oppidum ádmoenire, ut hodie capiatúr, volo.]atque húc meas legionés adducam; si éxpugno(facilem hánc rem meis civíbus faciam),post ád oppidum hoc vetus cóntinuo meum exércitum protinus óbducam:inde me ét simul participés omnis meos praéda onerabo atque ópplebo,metum ét fugam perduéllibus meis me út sciant natum.
Great exploits it befits me to perform, which long after may bespeak fame for me. But whom do I see here? Who’s this low fellow that’s presented before my eyes? I should like to know why he’s come here with his sword: I’ troth, now then I’ll lie here in ambush for him, to see the business that he’s about.(Retires to a distance.) (Enter HARPAX, with a bay in his hand.)HARPAX:This is the place, and this the spot, which was pointed out to me by my master, according as I form a judgment from my eyesight. For my master, the Captain, told me to this effect, that the house was the seventh from the gate, in which lives the person to whom he requested me to carry the token and this silver * * * * * I could vastly wish that some one would inform me where this Ballio, the procurer, lives.(Looks from side to side.)PSEUDOLUS: (apart.)
éo sum genere gnátus: magna mé facinora décet efficere,quae póst mihi clara et diú clueant.sed hunc quém video? quis hic ést qui oculis meis óbviam ignobilis óbicitur?lubet scíre quid hic veniát cum machaéra et huic, quám rem agat, hinc dabo insídias.Harpax:Hi lóci sunt atque hae régiones quae mi áb ero sunt demónstratae,ut ego óculis rationém capio quam mi íta dixit erus méus miles,septumás esse aedis á porta ubi ille hábitet leno, quoí iussitsymbólum me ferre et hoc árgentum. nimis vélim, certum qui id míhi faciat,Ballió leno ubi hic hábitat.
Hist! Silence! This man is mine, unless all Gods and men forsake me. Now have I need of a new plan; this new scheme is suddenly presented to me. This I prefer to my former one; that I shall dismiss, which, before, I had commenced to carry into effect. By my troth, I’ll then work this military messenger that’s just arrived.
Psevdolvs:[St, tace, tace, meus hic est homo, ni omnes di atque homines deserunt.]novo cónsilio nunc míhi opus est,nova rés subito mi haec óbiectast:hoc praévortar principio; illa omnia missa habeo, quae ante agere occepi.iam pol ego hunc stratioticum nuntium advenientem probe percutiam.
HARPAX:I’ll knock at the door, and call some one out of doors from within.(Goes towards the door of BALLIO’S house.)PSEUDOLUS: (coming up to him.)
Harpax:óstium pultábo atque intus évocabo aliquém foras.
Whoever you are, I wish you to spare your knocking; for I’ve just come out of doors, I, the spokesman and the defender of the door.
Psevdolvs:Quisquis es, compendium ego te facere pultandi volo;nam ego precator et patronus foribus processi foras.
HARPAX:Are you Ballio?
Harpax:Tune es Ballio?
PSEUDOLUS:Why, no; but I’m the deputy-Ballio.
Psevdolvs:Immo vero ego eius sum Subballio.
HARPAX:What means that expression?
Harpax:Quid istuc verbist?
PSEUDOLUS:I’m his butler-steward; the caterer for his larder.
Psevdolvs:Condus promus sum, procurator peni.
HARPAX:As though you were to say, you are his chamberlain.
Harpax:Quasi te dicas atriensem.
PSEUDOLUS:No; I’m above his chamberlain.
Psevdolvs:Immo atriensi ego impero.
HARPAX:What are you, slave or free man?
Harpax:Quid tu, servon es an liber?
PSEUDOLUS:Why, at present, I’m still a slave.
Psevdolvs:Nunc quidem etiam servio.
HARPAX:So you seem to be; and you don’t look to be one worthy to be free.
Harpax:Ita videre, et non videre dignus qui liber sies.
PSEUDOLUS:Ain’t you in the habit of looking at yourself when you abuse another person?HARPAX: (aside.)
Psevdolvs:Non soles respicere te, quom dicis iniuste alteri?
This must be a roguish fellow.PSEUDOLUS: (aside.)The Gods protect and favour me! for this is my anvil: this day will I hammer out thence full many a device.
Harpax:Hunc hominem malum esse oportet.Psevdolvs:Di me servant atque amant,nam haec mihi incus est: procudam égo hodie hinc multos dolos.
HARPAX:Why is he talking to himself alone?
Harpax:Quid illic secum solus loquitur?
PSEUDOLUS:How say you, young man—?
Psevdolvs:Quid ais tu, adulescens?
HARPAX:What is it?
Harpax:Quid est?
PSEUDOLUS:Are you, or are you not, from that Captain of Macedonia? The servant of him, II mean, who bought a damsel of us here, who gave fifteen silver minae to the procurer, my master, and is still owing five?
Psevdolvs:Esne tu an non es ab illo milite Macedonio,servos eius qui hinc a nobis est mercatus mulierem,qui argenti ero meo lenoni quindecim dederat minas,quinque debet?
HARPAX:I am. But where in the world have you ever known me,or have ever seen or spoken to me? For in fact, before this day, I never was at Athens, nor did I ever before this day behold you with my eyes * * * * * * * * * *
Harpax:Sum. sed ubi tu me novisti gentiumaut vidisti aut conlocutu’s es? nam equidem Athenas antidhacnumquam veni, neque te vidi ante hunc diem umquam oculis meis.
PSEUDOLUS:Because you seem likely to be from him; for at the time when he went away, this was the day appointed for the money, on which he was to pay it to us, and he has not brought it as yet.
Psevdolvs:Quia videre inde esse; nam olim quom abiit, argento haec diespraestitutast, quoad referret nobis, neque dum rettulit.
HARPAX:Yes, here it is.(Holding up the bag.)
Harpax:Immo adest.
PSEUDOLUS:What?—have you brought it?
Psevdolvs:Tun attulisti?
HARPAX:I, myself.
Harpax:Egomet.
PSEUDOLUS:Do you at all hesitate to give it me?
Psevdolvs:Quid dubitas dare?
HARPAX:I, give it you?
Harpax:Tibi ego dem?
PSEUDOLUS:Aye, faith, to me, who manage the business and the accounts of my master Ballio, receive his money, and pay it to him to whom he owes it.
Psevdolvs:Mihi hercle vero, qui res rationesque eriBallionis curo, argentum accepto [expenso] et quoi debet dato.
HARPAX:By my troth, if you were even the keeper of the treasures of supreme Jove, I would never entrust a groat of silver to you.
Harpax:Si quidem hercle etiam supremi promptas thensauros Iovis,tibi libellam argenti numquam credam.
PSEUDOLUS: (pointing.)While you’ve been making yourself so big,the money has become loose.
Psevdolvs:Dum tu sternuas,res erit soluta.
HARPAX:I’ll keep it the rather tied up—this way.(Ties the mouth of the bag.)
Harpax:Vinctam potius sic servavero.
PSEUDOLUS:Woe to you! You indeed have been found to doubt my honor. As though innumerable times as much are not in the habit of being entrusted to me alone.
Psevdolvs:Vae tibi, tu inventu’s es vero, meam qui furcilles fidem.quasi mihi nón sescenta tanta soli soleant credier.
HARPAX:It’s possible that others may think so, and that I mayn’t trust you.
Harpax:Potest ut alii ita arbitrentur et ego ut ne credam tibi.
PSEUDOLUS:As though you meant to say that I wished to chouse you out of the money.
Psevdolvs:Quasi tu dicas me te velle argento circumducere.
HARPAX:Why, yes; as though you meant to say so; and as though I, on the other hand, meant to suspect it. But what’s your name?
Harpax:Immo vero quasi tu dicas quasique ego autem id suspicer.sed quid est tibi nomen?
PSEUDOLUS: (aside.)This procurer has a servant of the name of Syrus; I’ll say that I am he. I am Syrus.
Psevdolvs:Servos est huic lenoni Surus,eum esse me dicam. Surus sum.
HARPAX:Syrus?
Harpax:Surus?
PSEUDOLUS:That’s my name.
Psevdolvs:Id est nomen mihi.
HARPAX:We are making many words. If your master’s at home, why don’t you call him out, that I may transact that for which I was sent here, whatever be your name?
Harpax:Verba multa facimus. erus si tuos domi est, quin provocas,ut id agam quod missus huc sum, quidquid est nomen tibi?
PSEUDOLUS:If he were within I would call him out. But if you choose to give it me, it will be more truly paid than if you were to give it to himself.
Psevdolvs:Si intus esset, evocarem. verum si dare vis mihi,magis erit solutum, quasi ipsi dederis.
HARPAX:But now do you know how it is? My master has sent me to pay this, not to lose it. But I know, to a certainty, that you are in a fever now, because you cannot lay your claws upon it. I shall entrust the money to no person except to Ballio himself.
Harpax:At enim scin quid est?reddere hoc, non perdere erus me misit. nam certo scio,hoc febrim tibi esse, quia non licet huc inicere ungulas.ego, nisi ipsi Ballioni, nummum credam nemini.
PSEUDOLUS:But at present he’s full of business: a cause of his is being tried before the judge.
Psevdolvs:At illic nunc negotiosust: res agitur apud iudicem.
HARPAX:May the Gods prosper it! And I, when I shall think that he’s at home, will come again. Do you take this letter from me, and give it him: for in it is the token agreed upon between your master and mine about the damsel.
Harpax:Di bene vortant. at ego quando eum esse censebo domi,rediero. tu epistulam hanc a me accipe atque illi dato.nam istic sumbolust inter erum meum et tuom de muliere.
PSEUDOLUS:For my part, I understand it; the person who should bring the money and the impress of his likenesshither to us, with him he said he wished the damsel to be sent; for he left a specimen of it here as well.
Psevdolvs:Scio equidem: [ut] qui argentum adferret atque expressam imaginemsuam huc ad nos, cum eo aiebat velle mitti mulierem.nam hic quoque exemplum reliquit eius.
HARPAX:You understand the whole affair?
Harpax:Omnem rem tenes.
PSEUDOLUS:Why should I not understand it?
Psevdolvs:Quid ego ni teneam?
HARPAX:Give him this token then.(Gives the letter and token.)
Harpax:Dato istunc sumbolum ergo illi.
PSEUDOLUS:Very well. But what’s your name?HARPAX:Harpax.
Psevdolvs:Licet.sed quid est tibi nomen?Harpax:Harpax.
PSEUDOLUS:Get along with you, Harpax, I like you not. By my troth, you really shan’t enter this house, lest you should be doing something in the harpy line.
Psevdolvs:Apage te, Harpax, hau places;huc quidem hercle haud ibis intro, ne quid ἅρπαξ feceris.
HARPAX:I am wont to carry off my enemies alive from the battle-field; from that circumrstance is my name.
Harpax:Hostis vivos rapere soleo ex acie: eo hoc nomen mihi est.
PSEUDOLUS:I’ faith, I think that you are much more likely to carry off the brass pots from a house.
Psevdolvs:Pol te multo magis opinor vasa ahena ex aedibus.